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World Ideologies - Explained By Cows
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FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who have the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
PERESTROIKA: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free market".
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
OLYMPICS-ISM: You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant.
AMERICAN CORPORATE CAPITALISM: Both cows are bloated with toxic steroids. They are set out to graze on privatized public parks, release massive amounts of flatulence that destroys the ozone layer, die from excess ultraviolet light, and are processed into meat-like products that look great as a result of clever and unprincipled marketing strategies. When you mortgage your artificially devalued farm at high interest rates in order to buy meat, you consume the poisoned material and develop terminal illnesses because there is no health care plan to treat you. The corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from cows raised "naturally" on tree-free rain forest land outside of the country where labor and resources are cheap.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who have the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
PERESTROIKA: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free market".
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
OLYMPICS-ISM: You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant.
AMERICAN CORPORATE CAPITALISM: Both cows are bloated with toxic steroids. They are set out to graze on privatized public parks, release massive amounts of flatulence that destroys the ozone layer, die from excess ultraviolet light, and are processed into meat-like products that look great as a result of clever and unprincipled marketing strategies. When you mortgage your artificially devalued farm at high interest rates in order to buy meat, you consume the poisoned material and develop terminal illnesses because there is no health care plan to treat you. The corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from cows raised "naturally" on tree-free rain forest land outside of the country where labor and resources are cheap.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
redditor is an expert
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Now I might not have any experience on the matter, but I do have a reddit account, and that makes me an expert in everything. And with my expert opinion, I agree.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
President Taft
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Taft was arguably one of the best presidents and fucking funny as hell. Everybody knows the stories about him getting his fat ass stuck in the bathtub, but nobody really knows that he was the OG Chris Farley.
He and his wife would host dinners at the White House for foreign diplomats and Taft would do shit like cartwheel up to them, particularly if the negotiations were going to be tense, because he knew a 350+lb man doing a goddamn perfect cartwheel always guaranteed a laugh.
Dude would cartwheel up, and depending who it was, would ask if they wanted a beer and a smoke (Taft had great taste in cigars and beer, the motherfucker could entertain and get. The. Party. STARTED) before they got down to business and then he’d talk them into doing shots and before you know it, these high-profile diplomats were fucking shitfaced and hashing out negotiations with Taft and his team. It worked surprisingly well (much to the dismay of Tafts rivals who found his behavior oafish and unbecoming of a president - and let’s be honest, it was, but the dude got shit done because he understood people and knew how to be straight up with em).
Rumor has it he drank the Irish rep under the table and challenged the English rep to a pie eating contest.
Despite his size, because of his charisma, ladies could not get ENOUGH of him. At times during public appearances, Taft would be on uneven ground and have to be aided by a cane because of his own fat ass, And ladies would be reaching out for him because (which is where the phrase “beat them off with a stick” comes from) because - surprise - rumor had it, that Taft was wrasslin a MASSIVE HOG inside those size 48 pants. It’s often said that hired help could hear his wife screaming in pleasure at night because my man was chowin down on some PUSSY like it was a melting ice cream cone. My man was a fuckin FIEND for that ass. Dude flipped that poor woman around every which way and put her ass to work like straight up, “fuck, dude, leave that poor woman alone!” But he can’t hear you because he’s deep in that Jumanji-bush territory (yknow back then, it was the harrier the better)
My man Taft was cool as fuck and had the guts and charisma to back it up. Taft was the fuckin man and nobody can convince me otherwise.
If there is a god and I die and go to Heaven, I wanna party with that dude. Just two ghostly dudes ass-naked in a porcelain bath tub, chugging beer and talking about slayin pussy, hell yeah
He and his wife would host dinners at the White House for foreign diplomats and Taft would do shit like cartwheel up to them, particularly if the negotiations were going to be tense, because he knew a 350+lb man doing a goddamn perfect cartwheel always guaranteed a laugh.
Dude would cartwheel up, and depending who it was, would ask if they wanted a beer and a smoke (Taft had great taste in cigars and beer, the motherfucker could entertain and get. The. Party. STARTED) before they got down to business and then he’d talk them into doing shots and before you know it, these high-profile diplomats were fucking shitfaced and hashing out negotiations with Taft and his team. It worked surprisingly well (much to the dismay of Tafts rivals who found his behavior oafish and unbecoming of a president - and let’s be honest, it was, but the dude got shit done because he understood people and knew how to be straight up with em).
Rumor has it he drank the Irish rep under the table and challenged the English rep to a pie eating contest.
Despite his size, because of his charisma, ladies could not get ENOUGH of him. At times during public appearances, Taft would be on uneven ground and have to be aided by a cane because of his own fat ass, And ladies would be reaching out for him because (which is where the phrase “beat them off with a stick” comes from) because - surprise - rumor had it, that Taft was wrasslin a MASSIVE HOG inside those size 48 pants. It’s often said that hired help could hear his wife screaming in pleasure at night because my man was chowin down on some PUSSY like it was a melting ice cream cone. My man was a fuckin FIEND for that ass. Dude flipped that poor woman around every which way and put her ass to work like straight up, “fuck, dude, leave that poor woman alone!” But he can’t hear you because he’s deep in that Jumanji-bush territory (yknow back then, it was the harrier the better)
My man Taft was cool as fuck and had the guts and charisma to back it up. Taft was the fuckin man and nobody can convince me otherwise.
If there is a god and I die and go to Heaven, I wanna party with that dude. Just two ghostly dudes ass-naked in a porcelain bath tub, chugging beer and talking about slayin pussy, hell yeah
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Erection.
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Can confirm. When I was in 4th grade, our school held a field trip to a museum and my buddy was the most beautiful girl in class who I didn't give a fuck with coz I was crushing on someone else.
Our teachers instructed us to hold hands when going into a dark tunnel and I had the longest erection in my life for some reason. So much so that my teacher was embarrassed to show me off the rest room to "rest my buddy"
Our teachers instructed us to hold hands when going into a dark tunnel and I had the longest erection in my life for some reason. So much so that my teacher was embarrassed to show me off the rest room to "rest my buddy"
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Taft, the fat ass president
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Taft was arguably one of the best presidents and fucking funny as hell. Everybody knows the stories about him getting his fat ass stuck in the bathtub, but nobody really knows that he was the OG Chris Farley.
He and his wife would host dinners at the White House for foreign diplomats and Taft would do shit like cartwheel up to them, particularly if the negotiations were going to be tense, because he knew a 350+lb man doing a goddamn perfect cartwheel always guaranteed a laugh.
Dude would cartwheel up, and depending who it was, would ask if they wanted a beer and a smoke (Taft had great taste in cigars and beer, the motherfucker could entertain and get. The. Party. STARTED) before they got down to business and then he’d talk them into doing shots and before you know it, these high-profile diplomats were fucking shitfaced and hashing out negotiations with Taft and his team. It worked surprisingly well (much to the dismay of Tafts rivals who found his behavior oafish and unbecoming of a president - and let’s be honest, it was, but the dude got shit done because he understood people and knew how to be straight up with em).
Rumor has it he drank the Irish rep under the table and challenged the English rep to a pie eating contest.
Despite his size, because of his charisma, ladies could not get ENOUGH of him. At times during public appearances, Taft would be on uneven ground and have to be aided by a cane because of his own fat ass, And ladies would be reaching out for him because (which is where the phrase “beat them off with a stick” comes from) because - surprise - rumor had it, that Taft was wrasslin a MASSIVE HOG inside those size 48 pants. It’s often said that hired help could hear his wife screaming in pleasure at night because my man was chowin down on some PUSSY like it was a melting ice cream cone. My man was a fuckin FIEND for that ass. Dude flipped that poor woman around every which way and put her ass to work like straight up, “fuck, dude, leave that poor woman alone!” But he can’t hear you because he’s deep in that Jumanji-bush territory (yknow back then, it was the harrier the better)
My man Taft was cool as fuck and had the guts and charisma to back it up. Taft was the fuckin man and nobody can convince me otherwise.
If there is a god and I die and go to Heaven, I wanna party with that dude. Just two ghostly dudes ass-naked in a porcelain bath tub, chugging beer and talking about slayin pussy, hell yeah
He and his wife would host dinners at the White House for foreign diplomats and Taft would do shit like cartwheel up to them, particularly if the negotiations were going to be tense, because he knew a 350+lb man doing a goddamn perfect cartwheel always guaranteed a laugh.
Dude would cartwheel up, and depending who it was, would ask if they wanted a beer and a smoke (Taft had great taste in cigars and beer, the motherfucker could entertain and get. The. Party. STARTED) before they got down to business and then he’d talk them into doing shots and before you know it, these high-profile diplomats were fucking shitfaced and hashing out negotiations with Taft and his team. It worked surprisingly well (much to the dismay of Tafts rivals who found his behavior oafish and unbecoming of a president - and let’s be honest, it was, but the dude got shit done because he understood people and knew how to be straight up with em).
Rumor has it he drank the Irish rep under the table and challenged the English rep to a pie eating contest.
Despite his size, because of his charisma, ladies could not get ENOUGH of him. At times during public appearances, Taft would be on uneven ground and have to be aided by a cane because of his own fat ass, And ladies would be reaching out for him because (which is where the phrase “beat them off with a stick” comes from) because - surprise - rumor had it, that Taft was wrasslin a MASSIVE HOG inside those size 48 pants. It’s often said that hired help could hear his wife screaming in pleasure at night because my man was chowin down on some PUSSY like it was a melting ice cream cone. My man was a fuckin FIEND for that ass. Dude flipped that poor woman around every which way and put her ass to work like straight up, “fuck, dude, leave that poor woman alone!” But he can’t hear you because he’s deep in that Jumanji-bush territory (yknow back then, it was the harrier the better)
My man Taft was cool as fuck and had the guts and charisma to back it up. Taft was the fuckin man and nobody can convince me otherwise.
If there is a god and I die and go to Heaven, I wanna party with that dude. Just two ghostly dudes ass-naked in a porcelain bath tub, chugging beer and talking about slayin pussy, hell yeah
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Lil Nas nus nus
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Being Racist?
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Being racist? I only said that it may cause misunderstandings. Its in the rules that you should use english language as much as possible. I didnt say anything that points towards not using another language completely. Also being racist means, hate towards another race or discrimination against someone or a race. I did nothing of what you accuse me off. Go learn how to use "racist" before telling people their racist you uneducated child.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I Almost Fucked My Sister Thanks To Destiny
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Last month, my sister came home to visit for the holidays. It’s been just me and my parents at the house since August- this was her first semester away at college, so having her back home was nice. We drank eggnog, made a fire in the fireplace, and shared laughs around the Christmas tree. It was really a magical holiday season. My sister is hot as fuck. Her and I have always had a little bit of sexual tension maybe it was just in my head, but growing up we were always super competitive and used to butt heads over all kinds of stuff, and I always felt like we were just one provocative comment away from something happening. A few days ago, my mom and dad left the house to go visit some family friends- my sister and I stayed home and my parents said they would be back later that night. So it was just me and my sister, alone, all day, in our PJs, hanging out and bantering like we do. She was wearing a loose t-shirt, pajama pants, and these little fluffy Christmas socks our mom had bought her, and she invited me to put together a puzzle with her in the living room. I was horny as fuck and I knew it was now or never, so I decided it was finally time to put the moves on my sister- but first, I knew she had to be convinced that incest was morally permissible. I smiled, knowing that with the supreme arguments of my favorite streamer Destiny on my side, I would be unstoppable. I asked her if she minded if I put on a video in the background, and she said sure. So I started to look up the Destiny incest debate on the living room TV. “Incest debate...?” She looked at me quizzically. “Ha ha, y-yeah, it’s a pretty good example of why our... um... moral intuitions often like, don’t stand up to ethical scrutiny,” I stammered, wiping the sweat from my brow, quickly trying to type in Destiny’s name in the search bar and hit enter. I started playing the video as she dumped the puzzle out of the box and we started to piece it together. Being alone with my sister was already making me rock hard, but with Destiny on the TV, his lighting fast voice already owning the stupid normie who dared to debate him, I was nearly about to fire off a splooge harpoon in my pants. We put the puzzle together without talking, only listening to the video. As it went on, her look changed from surprised, to confused, to flustered. I could tell she was really absorbing it. She was staring at a puzzle piece in her hand, rotating it around between her fingers, when she finally broke the silence. “So... what is with this Destiny guy?” she asked, not looking away from the puzzle piece. “Why is he trying to argue in defense of incest? Isn’t that kinda fucked up? I mean,” she shot a glance at me, then returned to analyzing the puzzle piece in her hands. “Incest is wrong,” she finished. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince me. I cleared my throat. “Well,” I started, “it’s actually very difficult to formulate a sound ethical argument against incest itself. You can make tangential arguments against the morality of possible side effects that incest may have, but these arguments have nothing to do with the incestuous act itself being wrong.” Yes, I thought to myself. A solid and concise argument. Destiny would be proud. And that’s all it took- my sister and I locked eyes for a moment, then she lunged for me and started making out with me, hard. “Anon,” she said in between gasps, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I was in high school.” She started tearing my shirt off of me. Just before we could start partaking in the deed, our parents arrived home and caught us, currently waiting for the feds to arrive. I stood up for what I believed in, Destiny would be proud.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Found on r/sluttyconfessions
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My ex GF and her friends strap on forced me and now it’s all I want.
I was bound, forced and blackmailed. Now all I want is to have that experience again. DM me for my location in Qld AUS M24
It was late night drinks and her friends were over. Unknowingly they had planned to rape me and use me any way they wanted. My ex and I did explore a lot of different things together and she thought this would be a good surprise.
Honestly it surprised me, I had my ex sucking my cock on the side of me and her friend sitting on my face eating her out whilst I was bound, then my legs get thrown up and pinned to the top frame. Unable to move and resist i hear my ex’s voice “your going no where and we will do whatever we want, if you tell this to anyone all these photos we have taken will find a way to ruin your life”. Then she swallows my whole cock right to the back of her throat and then a giggle from her friend I feel her strap on, lubed
up and starting to fuck me like a little bitch.
The night went on for hours as they all took there turns fucking me and getting eaten out. I was Edged so much they ruined my orgasm right at the end. I can still hear their laughs and honestly…. I want it all again.
I was bound, forced and blackmailed. Now all I want is to have that experience again. DM me for my location in Qld AUS M24
It was late night drinks and her friends were over. Unknowingly they had planned to rape me and use me any way they wanted. My ex and I did explore a lot of different things together and she thought this would be a good surprise.
Honestly it surprised me, I had my ex sucking my cock on the side of me and her friend sitting on my face eating her out whilst I was bound, then my legs get thrown up and pinned to the top frame. Unable to move and resist i hear my ex’s voice “your going no where and we will do whatever we want, if you tell this to anyone all these photos we have taken will find a way to ruin your life”. Then she swallows my whole cock right to the back of her throat and then a giggle from her friend I feel her strap on, lubed
up and starting to fuck me like a little bitch.
The night went on for hours as they all took there turns fucking me and getting eaten out. I was Edged so much they ruined my orgasm right at the end. I can still hear their laughs and honestly…. I want it all again.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Transcript of me cleaning my keyboard and reassembling it
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ..//////PPPP;;;LLMNBIYNJHJNNKGBCVRYCZXXXX6Zew$;/BNM,.Z4110,HUQC////-\*-\*77778747474747//YU4:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/2021\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`\`12222225668886666666777777777-0000000099999999999999999999================= WEEEEEQQQQQQQRYIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIYYYYYYYYYT\]
\[POOOOOOOOOOO ///////..,,MNN ///'\[''''''''''''''''''...,M.////////////////////////;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/....,M,LLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKJJJJBVCBBBBBVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVCCCCCCCCC CCCCCC.....GBHNHZXXXXXXVGGGGGFFFFFFDDDDDDDDDD==\[\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\[=========MMMMMMM, KL,/,L;.,,,NMNMCL.,,,,,,,,,LKLK,L. SDADDDDSDWAXDDDDQWASEDXSSSD \`1WEZESXE3ASZZZZZ
\++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-+00000000000000000006311.....12223653
7+OJUSQ
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\[POOOOOOOOOOO ///////..,,MNN ///'\[''''''''''''''''''...,M.////////////////////////;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/....,M,LLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKJJJJBVCBBBBBVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVCCCCCCCCC CCCCCC.....GBHNHZXXXXXXVGGGGGFFFFFFDDDDDDDDDD==\[\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\[=========MMMMMMM, KL,/,L;.,,,NMNMCL.,,,,,,,,,LKLK,L. SDADDDDSDWAXDDDDQWASEDXSSSD \`1WEZESXE3ASZZZZZ
\++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-+00000000000000000006311.....12223653
7+OJUSQ
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Should women be allowed on the internet?
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aside from porn obv. god are they ever virtue signaling drama wanting cunts. dont get me wrong i do love a good pair of tits but close your fucking mouth you fucking garbage spewer.
not a woman hater. just hate their unsolicited opinions on just about everything. they ruin life
not a woman hater. just hate their unsolicited opinions on just about everything. they ruin life
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
auto story generator generates : "sus sus" by bussy eater.
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# Sus sus sus
## A Short Storyby bussy eater
sus sus had always loved 1 exit Electrical with its watery, warm wires. It was a place where he felt sussy.
He was a sus, sus, sussy juice drinker with sus stubs for legs and sus visor. His friends saw him as a substantial, spewmungous sus. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a wonky crewmate. That's the sort of man he was.
sus walked over to the window and reflected on his sussy surroundings. The space teased like vented alien dog.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some*one*. It was the figure of sus2 sus2. sus2 was a sus sussy with sus stubs for legs and sus visor.
sus gulped. He was not prepared for sus2.
As sus stepped outside and sus2 came closer, he could see the disgusted glint in his eye.
sus2 gazed with the affection of 3161 sus arrogant alien cat. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want revenge."
sus looked back, even more sussin and still fingering the sus knife. "sus2, sussy imposter," he replied.
They looked at each other with sussed feelings, like two small, sparkling space spider killed at a very sus 4/20, which had sus music music playing in the background and two uncles voted to the beat.
sus regarded sus2's sus stubs for legs and sus visor. "I feel the same way!" revealed sus with a delighted grin.
sus2 looked susser, his emotions blushing like a grated, gifted gun.
Then sus2 came inside for a nice drink of sussy juice.
THE END
## A Short Storyby bussy eater
sus sus had always loved 1 exit Electrical with its watery, warm wires. It was a place where he felt sussy.
He was a sus, sus, sussy juice drinker with sus stubs for legs and sus visor. His friends saw him as a substantial, spewmungous sus. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a wonky crewmate. That's the sort of man he was.
sus walked over to the window and reflected on his sussy surroundings. The space teased like vented alien dog.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some*one*. It was the figure of sus2 sus2. sus2 was a sus sussy with sus stubs for legs and sus visor.
sus gulped. He was not prepared for sus2.
As sus stepped outside and sus2 came closer, he could see the disgusted glint in his eye.
sus2 gazed with the affection of 3161 sus arrogant alien cat. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want revenge."
sus looked back, even more sussin and still fingering the sus knife. "sus2, sussy imposter," he replied.
They looked at each other with sussed feelings, like two small, sparkling space spider killed at a very sus 4/20, which had sus music music playing in the background and two uncles voted to the beat.
sus regarded sus2's sus stubs for legs and sus visor. "I feel the same way!" revealed sus with a delighted grin.
sus2 looked susser, his emotions blushing like a grated, gifted gun.
Then sus2 came inside for a nice drink of sussy juice.
THE END
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
your worst nightmare
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Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare. I know you're in there, Cosmo Kramer, Apartment 5b. You're in big trouble now. You've been stealing my business. If you'd like to do this the easy way, open the door now; or, please select the number of seconds you'd like to wait before I break this door down. Please select now.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
a weird text message my mom got from a random number.
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"Yo Dude you're literally not going to fucking believe this. But I just peed all in my fucking mouth, so basically I was jacking it to the same bondage gay porn, right? Cuz you know me. But yeah, I was beating it so fast, I was almost as fast as a motherfucking runner in the Olympics. My speed was god tier, no one could beat me but myself, so yeah I was feeling hard, suddenly my motherfucking dick fucking pees, and I look down and open my mouth to scream, but the pee entered, and I can feel it go down my throat into probably my acid. So yeah I swallowed my pee. Got any advice?
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Least nationalistic lithuanian
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was... was LITHUANIA MENTIONED??? DID SOMEONE MENTION THE BATTLE OF ŽALGIRIS WHERE WE FUCKED THE TEUTONS VERY HARD??????? WAS OUR GRATEFULNESS MENTIONED??????? I'M SO FUCKING PROUD TO BE BORN IN THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!ĄĄĄĄ💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻❤❤❤❤❤💪🏻💪🏻🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹 🇵🇱🚫🇵🇱🚫🇵🇱🚫🇵🇱🚫🇵🇱🚫🇵🇱🚫🇵🇱🚫
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
From a porn subreddit where the post asked "would you cum inside me?"
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Too little information to make an informed decision. Height, hair color , face structure and last but not least your personality. Cumming inside you implies a desire to reproduce. I can’t say yes or no. Given the info I have I’ll say that your vulva is objectively attractive however the fat to muscle ratio implies your heavier set so I’d say pull out. If you want to compete in the modern ametuer pornography market you have to show your entire body because a prettier girl than you is giving it her all. All that being said I wanna suck your clit like a popsicle.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
EDP445 changed my life
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EDP445, This video has changed my life. My whole outlook on everything that exists in this world, in fact even in the entire universe. I can never look at anything I know the same way ever again. This video represents emotions most humans could never comprehend. But I can. Thanks to this video I have been awakened to many things previously thought unimaginable. Thank you.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Please don’t be gay (from 196)
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As a straight male, please don't be gay OP. I have a gay friend and a few years back he had a heart attack. He survived, but I always wondered if that could have been avoided if he had married a girl instead of a dairy farming bear.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Literally 1984
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠤⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⣲⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⡱⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀1984⠀⣠⠴⠊⢹⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⠓⠀⠉⣥⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡾⣄⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⡄⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⢎⡉⢦⡀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⣣⠧⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀ ⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠙⠢⢭⣢⡚⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣇⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢮⠈⡦⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀ ⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⣀⡴⠃⠀⡷⡇⢀⡴⠋⠉⠉⠙⠓⠒⠃⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⡼⠀⣷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I have literally become eren yeager
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I've become so much like Eren Jaeger it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
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