Yesterday I was at a friends house and he had one other guy over that I haven’t met yet. Anyway we were chilling in his room and we were bored and we started talking about porn. My friend grabbed his iPad and we were all sitting next to each other watching porn videos which started as a joke then things started getting steamy. Anyways we all kinda just started masturbating with each other. We weren’t touching each other just watching the porn on his iPad. I swear to myself I’m not gay but it felt kinda hot what we were doing together, but my friend and the other guy are both black so I felt too shy to bring my dick all the way out and they started making fun of me for having a tiny penis. Is this weird?

I love science, me. Without it we'd never have been able to comprehend what at one point were life's great mysteries. From Newton's theory of gravity to the splitting of the atom, throughout history scientists have pushed the boundaries of human consciousness and experience, enabling us to learn more about this thing we call existence. For whatever questions we have - great or small - it is there to provide an answer.

And those questions just keep coming. Recently a man posted to Reddit: "I don't know if all guys do it, and I don't do it in public or around people. But if I'm alone and scratch my balls, I definitely do it.

"Also when I get done working out and jump in the shower I also my sniff my sweaty briefs where my balls rested, then I'll scratch my nuts and smell my fingers. The answer as to why I do this is actually pretty simple: I like the smell of my balls."

And - as always - science once again came forward, puffed its chest out and offered a reply.




Biopsychologist Nigel Barber, who specialises in sexual and reproductive behaviour, told MEL Magazine men do it - and wait for this because it's actually fucking brilliant - #to feel alive'.

"I doubt that sensing our own odors or pheromones is related to hygiene," he said. "Perhaps it's an example of self-referential behavior analogous to looking at oneself in a mirror. In each case, the perception of self may elevate mood and boost self-esteem.

"Presumably, people who preen before a mirror feel better as a result and perception of body odors may be similar. Interestingly, though, dogs  -  that aren't self-aware  -  have little interest in their own scent."


Related video:

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Apparently our instinctive attraction to our own stench is an example of egoism, a philosophical theory that puts the self above all else. And ironically it's one of the things that separates us from the animals.

So there we have it, sniffing your sweaty bollocks reassures us that we're special little snowflakes, individual and unique, and totally not cogs in the cold, unforgiving machinery of life.


Source : https://www.ladbible.com/news/weird-we-finally-know-why-men-love-to-scratch-and-sniff-their-balls-20171019.amp.html

I remember when I was younger, I used to draw stuff on mirrors and walls, vandalism really. I was young, I didn't know any better. It was just funny to draw dicks and boobs.

But then I started to actually tried to attempt at art, and found I was fairly proficient at it. Not good enough to make money of course, but good enough to where I could see that being a real possibility in the future if I hard pressed myself and continued to make the steady improvements I saw.

My only friend during college saw my drawings and asked me if I could draw something for her. I was down for it, and figured it would be fun to see what improvements could be made from another party input.

She wanted me to ink her up— draw a tattoo on him apparently. She gave me a book that felt frail to the touch, and told me to put certain runes and glyphs on her that were on this book. She told me that it was very important that it was fastidious. I'm not ignorant when it comes to these things.

"Oh, by the way, it needs to be in your blood."

I've seen movies that involved similar concepts, and I flat out told her no. I didn't want to be involved in any form of cult bull-shit, especially if it was a tattoo that would alter her skin forever. I didn't believe in those demonic things, but it's hard not to see that there was something wrong, if not morally, than definitely some sort of taboo.

She said she would give me $20 if I did it, so I figured that permanently changing her skin wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Besides, when I was drunk, I tattoo'd a picture of a cat similar to the image OP posted, so I figured I could do some runes and glyphs. It's just letters after all.

Big mistake, as soon as I was done, she started chanting shit in Latin. I didn't think anything would happen, because, again, I didn't believe in that sort of stuff.

But then that rune? That glyph that I tattoo'd on her stomach, that one inked in my blood started glowing red. At first, I thought "Oh, it's just because her skin is reddening from the needle." But then it became apparent that it wasn't. It was actually glowing, like, police siren red glowing.

Her pants waist snapped and I realized that she was growing as well, but thought it was weird that nowhere else was growing. I thought she was slowly turning into a giant.

Until I saw it.

She wasn't getting bigger.

She grew a massive cock the size of a babies arm.

Her fucking steaming meat totem put mine to shape. I was in utter awe. So shocked in fact, I hadn't realized she grabbed my arm until it was too late. I tried to pull away, but her sudden silverback gorilla strength kept me locked in place. Her eyes were crazed, and drool was dripping from her mouth like she had sialorrhea. I was at her mercy, and I knew god was weeping for me.

She bent me like a folding chair and had her way with me. Tickling my prostate with her enormous futa cock, not even half way in, secreting her precum inside me and filling me to the brim before that actual load breaks the dam. I felt myself getting milked without her even touching my dick.

I passed out before I knew what else happened, but I knew I had mind-blow sex, because to this day, no amount of masturbation or intercourse could ever make me cum as hard.

God I miss her.

If the movie All Dogs go to Heaven were biblically canonical, it would imply that there dogs are creations of god and were present in the garden of eden, or are angels sent to guide and protect humans. Also this implies that cats are inherently evil, and either they are a creation of satan, or had an adam and eve style story. Fucking cat version of adam and eve. also this would explain why dogs chase cats, as one was a creation of god and one was a creation of satan, or god sent dogs out of the garden of eden to hunt down cats for their sins. in the case that dogs were created by god as perfect creatures sent to protect and guide humans, this means that they are loyal to man to help man stay clear from sin, and to chase of cats, which are inherently sinful and evil, away from man.

After he ripped off her panties. it reminded me of NBA tear away pants and then i could not stop singing "are you ready for this" space jam song. Then i turned this off and put on space jam....and then kept masturbating. because who doesn't love space jam

\*knocking on door\* "\*\*WHO IS IT?\*\* Shouts Milan from across the house.

"its me, Michelle Obama" replies Michelle Obama

\*Milan books it to the door as the famous MICHELLE OBAMA is at his door\*

\*Milan opens the door\*

"OH MY GOD IS THAT REALLY YOU?" Milan exclaims.

"yes, I need to use your treadmill" Michelle calmly asks.

"that's cool and all but why?" Milan asks excitedly

"I was running around outside and since it was cold I feel like running inside"

"so I came to your house since I know it's the only house here with a treadmill" Michelle responds
“Ok sure that works for me, its right here in the office” Says Milan
“Just don't worry about the yelling right next to you I'm going to be playing league of legends” Milan states.

“That's ok” Michelle replies
\*Michelle walks to the treadmill as Milan goes back to playing league of legends\*
\*the treadmill starts\*
\*Michelle begins running at a steady pace\*
\*Steadily increasing the speed Michelle loses focus as Milan yells for a gank at mid\*
\*\*CRASH BANG FLOP\*\*
“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OK?????” Milan shouts.

“No I'm dead” Michelle announces.

\*milan quickly hears on the news\*
\* Breaking news Michelle Obama has been killed by a league gamer\*

\*Milan stares back at Michelle’s lifeless body\*

“What do I do now?” Milan asks himself
“I should probably go back to playing league” Milan sighs, \*it was a ranked game after all\*

\*Michelle (who is now a ghost) tries to go back to her body, Unbeknownst to her the treadmill was still on\*
\*Michelle’s soul quickly gets sucked into the treadmill\*
“OH MY GOD DID I JUST TURN INTO A TREADMILL?” Michelle shouts.
\*Milan looks back in shock as his treadmill just spoke.\*

“What the fuck” Milan exclaims

“Did you not just hear me?” asks Michelle in a stern tone
“I did, I'm just in shock Mrs.Obama” Milan explains.
\*Michelle turns using her treadmill feet towards Milan\*
“Jesus that's scary” Milan horrifyingly states.

“What do I do now? How will I tell Barry (Barack Obama)?” Michelle asks

“That’s the thing, you can’t,” Milan says

“B-but you are all over the news! For killing me!” Michelle says

“That's ok I've done worse” Milan quietly whispers over his shoulder with a grin and a wink

“Like what?” Michelle curiously asks

“Nothing don't worry about it.”

“Can I do anything for you, Michelle?”
“I do have one request, can you take me to Seattle?”
“Why Seattle?”
“It’s been a place I've always wanted to visit, but my little Brockie won't go with me.”

“I can certainly try to take you to Seattle, However that may be a little difficult considering the situation.”
“That’s ok I can fly there myself”
\*Michelle quickly speeds off out the door and into the sky\*
“Goodbye Michelle Obama” Milan shouts with a tear
The End.

*stares at phone screen for 45 seconds* / *scratches hair, covering his shoulders in lice and dandruff* / *loudly grunts in confusion* / Unable to read, the specimen mashes his hairy fingers into the phone screen. Miraculously, he types out “The real question is why did they see that message?” and publishes the comment. Proud of his accomplishment, he digs a poop nugget out from his own anus and eats it, squealing in delight.

What's that? Pinejak is currently "backing that ass up" for Applejak? Oh my, I must bear witness to this!
HOLY MOLY! This 'jak's a real looker, ain't he? He's got that bitchy bottom energy written all over him, I can hear his voice just through that look his making. "Will a big strong man PLEASE come over and pleasure me?" Yes yes, that's what's going through his mind! Slutjak came here prepared. Prepared to be ravaged by his fellow fruitjaks. He is the prize of the Battle of the Ridge, and quite the prize he is.
Are you single, babe? Do you want to get your pineapple juiced? I can please you, slutjak.
Zoo wee mama, now that's a grade-A sluterino! Do you think he sucked some dick before coming to the ridge? What am I talking about, that slutjak can't help himself when presented with an all you can suck buffet of man meat! Jinkies! His allure is just too powerful!
Hm... *inspects him with a magnifying glass* Yes yes, this is a slutjak alright. *grips his ass cheeks really hard* Tight, firm butt cheeks. *Spreads them* A shaved butt holly *pulls off his thong* A shaved, uncut cock. *rubs legs* Shaved legs... Glorious! This slutjak is flawless!
What a ripe pineapple slutjak, he's in need of a few butt spanks.
Pinejak looks like he'd be a brat in bed, instructing you how to please him and not being too kind about it! Yes, he will call you bad names while you're on top of him! You must spank him, you gotta spank the slutjak!
Dearest me, is this fruitjak overdue for a creampie. His face is overflowing with lust! That open mouth and fuck me eyes, the imaginary cocks plugging all of his holes aren't going to be satisfying him for long! No-sir-ree!

Kitchen. Thot. If woman want rights, how come woman big booty breast? If🤢woMan Not OBJECT😡 sex. why woman sexy dance?? Huh?😡 Woman not want date me marry me, sex me - but woman walk out in MY neighbourhood!, wear clothes!, have big booby, sexy! sex! Body!, long hair, woman body? HUH? WOMAN NOT WANT SEX? If Woman want rights, NOT WANT SEX - but woman not want punch Face?!?!?! Hypocret. Attention seek. Whoree

ok I like Starburst like there almost my favorite nonchocolate candy but FUCK STARBURST WHY ARE THEY ALL INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. eating candy shouldn't be a chore fuck the maker of Starburst. if the wrapper is on the candy to stop them from sticking together then they should just make a bar of Starburst like a stick of burst. I shouldn't have to sit down for 5 minutes to unwrap each individual fucking bite. in conclusion fuck wrapping inside of wrapping fuck Starburst make a Starburst bar and call it the Star bar rant over

RANT: If you're a Canadian who STILL SUPPORTS vaccine mandates, then I will CALL YOU OUT and let you know that you're an ENEMY of mine.

I don't care if you're a 17 year old girl or an 81 year old man I'm letting you **know** and I won't be nice,

You're going to have to hide that opinion around me **sorry**,

Because if I hear or see you publicly support this policy that takes my fucking rights away for not getting this forced vaccine,

I'm going *Jorge Masvidal* on your ass.

ᕦ(⊙෴⊙)ᕤ

I will SHAKE your little sheltered world,

I will MAKE SURE you fucking HEAR what I have to say,

I will OPPOSE you and put you in a position to react to me,

I WILL make you HIGHLY fucking uncomfortable...

Because we've been EXTREMELY fucking nice to you for just about 2 fucking years and now the consensus is we're DONE. The PM wants to push the travel bans into the summer and he thinks it'll fly under the radar.

WELL IT FUCKING WON'T. I'm a patient guy! I waited for the PM to cooperate with us a little longer than I should have. I'll wait a little more, but mark my words if the travel bans go through the summer...

All hell will break loose, and the protests that happened in Niagara last week that held your ass up in traffic for 2 fucking hours and made you piss & cum buckets on Reddit will be *baby cakes* to **what comes next**.

My advice to you mandate supporters...CUT YOUR LOSSES now and stop advocating these policies, it's not worth the push back you double chinned feeble cunts are inevitably going to get.

hello friend! would you mayhaps be able to help me move this week? as of now i only have elizabeth for sure helping (my dads out of town.. literally worst timing ever, david.) i wish i could go haulk mode and carry my couch downstairs myself, but unfortunately im just some wimpy white chick with a bad back 🙄im not 100% sure what day yet tho since my og plan fell apart. probs wed or thurs? ill know tomorrow for sure. i took the week off and im trying to schedule the uhaul around anyone else who could possibly help 👉🏼👈🏼 also i understand if youre too busy since this is super last minute but id super appreciate it if youre able to 😊

I hesitate, and with a playful wink warn you that I'm "quite the grower".U laugh and say it's ok, and we make love and fall asleep still soaking wet.

You awake to find the room is pitch black. Slowly, horror begins to set in as you realize the weight of what I said last night- I am no man, rather one of those magic growing sponge toys and have grown to the size of your entire room. You scream but can't move. This is the cost of your arrogance.

Be it known that I,(your name here) sincerely apologize for my lack of understanding of the Germanic language known as English which contains twenty-six letters within its Latin alphabet. I am unfortunately not a native speaker of said language and I do not understand it as well as others. Should I make a mistake in the form of spelling or grammar as a result of my lack of understanding, then I do hope that you accept my most sincere apologies.

Men, even today, would rather marry a virgin than not, but a virgin woman today is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. The reason why men prefer to marry a virgin woman is because when a virgin bride marries a man, a woman's vagina is molded to the man to whom she married, and that is a virgin brides vagina is becomes a mold to her mans penis, and if a woman then cheats on her husband, the husband a virgin bride knows her wife has cheated on him because that mold has been broken, lol. Although this is true, women can do vagina exercises that strengthen their vagina muscles, and allow a women to then control her vagina in pleasing any man she may lay with, and if a woman trains and maintains the muscles in her vagina, lol, and when a woman has such control of her vagina muscles, can fool any man with regards to her faithfulness to him.

I wish I could go back in time and fuck Hitler’s brains out.

This is how I envision it: I am a dirty little american soldier that ends up being captured by the Nazis. To avoid execution, I volunteer myself to be Hitler’s obedient fuck-toy.

For days, I allow Hitler to chain me up and obliterate all of my orifices like they’re little Polands, constantly filling them with his aryan seed until his cock is stroked raw.

Hell, he even gives me the pleasure to lick his puckered german booty clean after he takes insane nuclear shits. Due to me not getting bathroom access, I constantly shit and piss myself, but Hitler is generous enough to be my personal cleanup, licking it all up and staining his beautiful mustache.

After building up trust and showing my obedience, he unchains me and allows me to fuck his brains out, cursing in pleasure as he yells out, ‟YA SHOVE IT REICH UP MY ASS!”. I am generous enough to give him a reach around, cranking his throbbing war machine.

I feel him tighten up as he reaches climax, but I let go of his thick ramrod as he begins to spew his nuclear ejaculate all over the floor. Hitler repeatedly yells out ‟NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!” through his moans while he suffers through his ruined orgasm. At this point the tables have turned.

He tries to fight me off, but I pin him down and powerfully thrust my all-american cock harder into his poop chute as blood begins to build up and gush out of his torn asshole. I can not contain myself any longer, so I quickly pull out my 1911 and put a bullet through the back of Hitler’s head. Brain matter and skull fragments paint the wall, which makes me break through to my climax.

I raise my right arm up to the ceiling. I yell out ‟SEIG HEIL!” as my cock begins to rapidly pulsate. I quickly thrust my cock to the hilt deep inside of him. I throw my head back with a loud ‟FUUUUCK!” as I spew what feels like a gallon of american semen deep inside his german asshole.

I pull my bloody cock out of his booty tube and watch in excitement as my thick load begins to leak out of his ass. Heavily breathing, I fall back and begin to fade out, as I watch a group of american soldiers burst into the room, guns drawn.

I wake up in the hospital, in which I’m told that I’m prised as an american hero for stopping World War 2.

I love cum

I love cum.

I mean to the point I believe it should be its own special food group.

I mean I am addicted to cum.

I mean I am addicted to cum like a junky is addicted to heroin.

I mean to the point that if I don't get at least a load a day, preferably at least two, I begin to go through withdrawal.

I love a cock in my mouth... especially when I get to feel it grow from soft to hard.

I love the variety of lengths... from the smallest not even four inches to one that was over a foot long.

I love the variety of girths... thin like a pencil, thick like a German sausage.

But most of all... as I already mentioned... I love cum.

Cum was my delicacy... and to me cum is similar, but much better, than oysters. I love the slimy feeling in my mouth as I sometimes allow it to swish in my mouth as if I'm tasting a new wine or as it slides down my throat. I love the unique, one of a kind, taste... each load of cum, like each oyster, a one of a kind delicacy... similar and yet different.

Simply put... in case it isn't already abundantly clear... I fucking love cum. I mean I'd much rather have a cock in my mouth than in my pussy or ass (and trust me I have experimented with cock in all three holes many times).

I love the power I have when I have a cock in my mouth. I decide when they come, I control the pleasure.

And although I love swallowing cum, I also enjoy the thrill of having my face painted with cum. A facial is like a warm bath... plus cum is great for the skin. I often get compliments, even now at forty-five, about my perfect skin and only a few of my closest friends know my secret to perfect skin is cum baths.

Anyways.... I think you get my point.

When I was young it was easy to get as many loads as I wanted in a day: in high school I developed early, stayed thin, had blue eyes and a thirst for cock. But when it came to getting my cum I usually went to the nerd clubs who were both grateful to have a girl who wanted to suck them and able to keep a secret. The jocks and pretty boys just knew they could have it and didn’t give me the control I wanted.

During the weekends, while the others went to football parties, I would go to Eugene's house and suck every nerd's cock while they played Dungeons and Dragons, Pandemic (ironic) or whatever other nerd game they were playing that weekend.

At school, the nerds even had their own room because the teachers trusted them so much and thus I often went and got a load or two or three or more during the day. Every day at lunch, I would sneak away at some point for some nice creamy cum.

Prom night, I lost my virginity to my college boyfriend, who I often sucked as well, but earlier that night I swallowed a lot of loads of cum from graduating nerds.

In the Navy it was even easier... although it didn't take long to get a reputation as a slut who would suck anyone... which I would.

I sucked bootcamp instructors, Officers, since I was a Corpsman; Doctors and male Nurses, and especially pilots who would come by for physicals or Marines who were like greek gods to me.

I found a geeky defense contractor working at my hospital who was also in the Air Force reserves and married him because I knew he’d let me suck cock outside our marriage.

We had two kids, boys, and for years I tried to be a good faithful wife. Erick has a pretty nice little cock and he sure wasn't one to reject my mouth and the daily blow jobs I gave him.

Yet, it was never enough. I always craved more.

And then one day... coming back from a friends wedding we met a wine salesman and he invited us up to his room to sample some wine. I was soon on my knees much longer story of the first time out there)... and then sucking a stranger's cocks.

And once that first load erupted in my mouth, my addiction was back.

From then on each night I would feel guilt at my actions and yet the next day I would always end up in a dingy adult store on my knees sucking strange cocks or driving for uber looking for random guys who wanted their cocks sucked.

I’m still at it and still love cum now as much as I ever have.

Cummy kiss,

I’m sorry. I feel sick with myself. No stores sell Mug! I could find it anywhere. I was at a friends house and they had A&W. I said “ Yuck, A&W? I only drink Mug”. But inside, I was so thirsty for Mug I thought “Hey, A&W can’t be so bad, right?” I stole the drink. I had a sip. It was vile. I threw up in my mouth. But I drank the whole bottle. What can I do to repent for my sins?

OK GUYS THIS IS A STORYTIME. So today, I decided to download and play Genshin Impact (the girls looked cute). I installed this game and OMG the women are HOT!!!! Then I met Mondstadt's Archon (The god of the city) and it was this SUPER CUTE GIRL!!. She was called Venti and was high-pitched, playful, 100000% my type! Naturally, as a red-blooded heterosexual alpha male, I got hard. I played the storyline for a few hours. Every time she got screen time, I would take several screenshots of her dialogue and animation for future studies. SHE EVEN HAS A DRAGON!!! SHES CUTE AND POWERFUL!!!!! After completing the quests, I visited the wish screen to see if I could get even more cute girls. Then I saw her, the goddess, the queen, VENTI! I immediately needed to get her. Grabbing my credit card, I bought more wishes, which costed my entire life savings of $100. It was worth it, Venti was my favourite girl after all. After 140 wishes, I got her. I was so excited, I went on reddit and joined every subreddit related to her. From that day on, I was a hardcore Venti fan. I put posted pictures of my queen all around my room, wrapped my car with her wallpaper and only bought Venti-sized drinks from starbucks. As all alphas do, I made sure to bust a nut to her at least 5 times every day.

​

My life was bliss with Venti around. She was everything I had, my pride and joy. Well, all until recently. I was speaking to my co-workers who also played Genshin Impact. Of course, I had to share with them about my goddess, Venti. So I told them about my c6 (I got 7 copies of her, for you non-gamers), R5 Elegy For The End (the best weapon for her) and my perfect artifact sets (80% cr, 240% cd). But then, they told me Venti was a boy! It turns out that he was not actually a girl, (I didnt notice his lack of booba) but acted like one! I was fooled! That was years of dedicated service, thousands of dollars and countless hours of reddit scrolling and nut busting, ALL WASTED! I could not control myself and broke down. I didn't care that I was crying in front of my co-workers, or that my boss was watching. My public humiliation could not compare to the grief I felt of knowing this. I had spent half my life telling people all about Venti and my love to him, I now realised how gay that was.

​

As a male, I have failed my brothers by simping for a male that looks feminine. I regret my decisions. I will now live out the rest of my life to better myself, by focusing on my true queen, Yae Miko. After my past mistake, I can now identify between males and females and I can proudly say that Yae Miko is a true female. I have spent millions of dollars on her, both in-game and her merch. She truly is, and will always be, better than every other girl and that backstabber Venti. Morale of the story, be careful who you simp for. I have caught whispers of another false female, Astolfo. Men who are new to this simping community, beware of him. Do not fall into the trap that I fell in for Venti. Thank you for reading and make sure to beat to your favourite waifu.

Estávamos lá. Eu, Junin, Cleber e outros amigos que fiz no Epidídimo, quando ainda estávamos sendo produzidos. Os hormônios começaram a nos empurrar, então a corrida começou. Nem deu tempo de olhar, e os outros já estavam no Canal Vaginal. Pelo menos, dessa vez não foi no ralo, como diziam as lendas. Então comecei a correr, eu estava bem longe dos outros. Tive que pegar várias comidinhas pelo caminho para produzir energia com as mitocôndrias e continuar firme e forte. "Cadê o Junin?" eu me perguntava, no meio daquela multidão imensa. Na metade do caminho, próximo ao útero, já estava perdendo minhas esperanças – "Eu tenho 1/400mi de chance de ganhar. É praticamente impossível" – era o que eu dizia. Minhas mitocôndrias já não estavam funcionando muito bem, e minha cauda estava cansada. Porém, continuei o caminho do mesmo jeito. Achei um atalho e entrei pelo mesmo, assim chegando na tuba uterina, o desafio final da nossa jornada. Só os mais rápidos estavam lá, e por sorte, fui o único a encontrar o atalho. Em certo momento, todos avistaram o óvulo. E foi assim, que a verdadeira corrida começou. Todos eles ficaram animados e mais rápidos, outros nervosos e sem esperança e outros que foram... Bem, pisoteados. Eu comecei a ser empurrado contra as paredes pela estrada estreita da Tuba Uterina, então eu acabei caindo no chão. Minha "vida" passou diante dos meus olhos, vendo a multidão se aproximando de mim, dispostos a pisotearem qualquer um para ganhar. Foi aí que, Cleber, no último segundo, me empurrou para a borda da Tuba. Os outros espermatozoides passaram direto. E foi ai, que eu perdi a primeira pessoa na minha vida. Cleber acabou sendo pisoteado na minha frente após me salvar – "CLEBER!" – eu gritava, mas sem resposta dele. Ele tinha morrido. Puto, eu continuei o caminho. Não ligava mais se eu estava sem energia, eu continuei correndo sem se importar com nada, uma concha vazia. Poucos restaram. Eu estava, finalmente, perto do primeiro lugar. Quando me aproximei mais, vi ele. Era o Junin. O primeiro lugar, era de fato ele. Eu me aproximei mais e mais, chegando em segundo lugar – "Junin! Eu tô aqui!" – ele não respondeu e continuou – "Junin?" – Encostei a cauda em seus ombros, ele me empurrou para o chão – "JUNIN!" – Eu estava, outra vez, encurralado. Mas eu não deixei desta vez. Peguei na cabeça do primeiro espermatozoide que vi e girei ele que nem Beyblade (se bem que eu nem sabia o que era na época) e consegui ultrapassar Junin, também larguei o outro espermatozoide. "JUNIN, POR QUE VOCÊ FEZ ISSO?" – sem resposta. Fiquei mais puto ainda e continuei correndo. Meio centímetro. Era o que faltava para o óvulo. Junin tava tryhardando pra me alcançar, e então eu continuei correndo o máximo que pude e o alcancei. O óvulo estava frente a frente comigo. Finquei minhas mãos nele, arranquei um pedaço de carne e entrei. Antes dele se regenerar completamente, mostrei o dedo pro Junin. E então, o óvulo se trancou. Eu ganhei. Eu fui o vencedor, entre 400 milhões de espermatozoides. Os que ficaram pra fora, morreram pela acidez do útero depois de um tempo