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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
MrEnter Turning Red
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This film takes place less than a year after the September 11th terrorist attacks. I bring this up because it radically altered the culture of the time in ways that make this movie feel exceptionally ignorant of the time. Even though LITERALLY the only reason I can comprehend that this movie is set EXPLICITLY in 2002 is because the director grew up in that exact year. Yes, this film takes place in Canada, not the United States, but ALL OVER THE WESTERN WORLD: Canada, America, the UK, much of Europe, people were paranoid, because 9/11 wasn't the only terror attack that had happened. It was the MAJOR THEME OF THE DECADE! I mean, I can understand not wanting everyone to be so fearful, as that goes against the tone that the movie is trying to establish, but then you have very awkward moments if you actually were there and you do actually remember the time period.
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hey kitten I am almost legal and I want titty pics on discord
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Hey. I am sorry the way that I acted Kitten, I want to aologize to you. I know you might have some PTSD with this shit but like I ain't trynna give you that. I wanna treat you right you know what I mean? If I am not gonna lie, I been lieing about my age and actually confirmed to be 17. I am almost 18 and shit like that and have almost the will to consent, you know what I mean? Yeah I got a girl but like this is discord and shit like that. I want your titty pics cause I know we can do something on the low, you know what I mean?
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SLAVA UKRAINE
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(SLAVA UKRAINE.) Some of us HAVE been fans of Ukraine since day one. Some of us remember the USSR. And some of us remember Chernobyl disaster. Some of us remember Zelensky asking Trump for military Aid. Some of us care about sovereign nations and democracy. And some of us have family in Ukraine. I'm Sorry you're too obtuse to think some are too stupid to care about world events when in fact it's really you that is dumb. (SLAVA UKRAINE. I love gargling ZelenKINGS MASSIVE testicles of titanium.) You feel safe and secure criticizing people on Reddit for caring about the people in Ukraine. I'm sorry Americans have invaded your sub safe space. (SLAVA UKRAINE by the way.)
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PREGNANT WOMAN ARE OVERRATED
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i commented something very similar to this on an instagram post and i got attacked by defensive rude middle aged women who took no time to actually read and just jumped to trying to bring me down for having an opinion. i’m curious to what redditors have to say*

everyday, on social media, i ALWAYS see posts of pregnant women with captions such as “NO STRENGTH COMPARES TO THE ONE OF A MOTHER💪💪”. comment sections absolutely flooded with praise and worship. i’m not saying women aren’t strong or anything but i wouldn’t exactly go as far as saying all that extra stuff about it. i believe humans nowadays are extremely sensitive due to the significant aid of technology. pregnancy and labor is one of the EASIEST things nowadays, especially if you live in a good country. there’s constant medical checkups before, during, and after pregnancy. there’s a load of medications to help pain and to help the development of a child. women have the luxury to see their baby in utero, hear their baby’s heartbeat, detect early abnormalities, and many other things, the list goes on and on. the only reason against my opinion that the women on ig had was, “vomiting and pain”, which as i previously stated that there is medication for. i understand the “mama bear” instinct to probably want to tear me over my opinion but i really do not see the big deal. you had a baby, why do you deserve much praise? billions of women have done the same, it’s the most common thing, literally almost anyone can procreate (yes i’m aware of infertility and such; hence, the word “almost”). i imagine the women back then whom had NO technology or assistance, i believe that if anything, THOSE are the women who deserve all the WAP that these women nowadays get. procreation is exactly what human bodies were created for, especially a woman’s body. it’s the most normal thing that has been done for billions of years. why not praise other normal bodily functions? our skeletal system? the recreation of our blood cells? the fact that our bodies can heal themselves? why isn’t that praised? also, pregnancy is (usually and for the most part) a choice. it’s no one else’s fault that they go through “so much”. they knew what they signed up for. it doesn’t put them above anybody.

edit: okay i exaggerated a bit, not EASIEST but it’s much easier than before which is my whole point

edit: those of you saying my opinion isnt an opinion, it is. an opinion is defined as a view/judgement not necessarily based on facts

edit: yes i’m very much aware of the horrible things it can do to you but i believe we’re in a time where it’s preventable and so much safer, therefore, easier than before. i still don’t see the need for excess praise. everyone wants praise for everything

edit: no i’m not a man

edit: none of ya’ll (with the exception of a few) are able to make a sensible comments. it’s all the same thing. angered people using profanity, people insulting me, people repeatedly asking me if i’ve been pregnant, people calling me misogynistic. you can’t think of anything else to say? i’ve already heard it all. no where in my post am i degrading women or belittling them, it’s how you interpret it and half of you are interpreting it into something negative.

edit: you’re all r so sensitive and only proving me correct. you all really have no life if ya’ll find all this time to go out your way and message a teen to harass them over an OPINION. you don’t like my opinion? wow the end of the world!!! boohoo. get over it and move on. this subreddit is literally called “unpopular opinions”. i like to read other opinions too but it’s quite annoying seeing the same insults over and over. go take care of your children since half of you claim you have them.
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Found a title
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Suppose the son successfully impregnates his mother with another son.

Then the child grows up, and impregnates his mother/grandmother with yet another son.

Then THAT child grows up, impregnates the mother/grandmother/great-grandmother, etc.

How many generations could this go on for before the children would have severe birth defects, extra fingers, etc?
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Dad gets kicked out
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Fock off dad
Begone
Go get cigs and milk
At the station and then light yourself on fire by trying to light the ciggy whilst fueling your car as the spark ignited a small leak and attempt in futility to put yourself out with the milk but instead reside to your fate and die a burning, painful, and horrific death as punishment for all your years of tormenting this good and lawful Christian minecraft server
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I stg im bout to stop showering 😭😭
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Every time i shower and start touching myself my chest my hips my neck 😣😣😣... i start imagining myself as a woman 😭😭😭 and it doesnt help that im a pretty skinny feminine guy it makes it a lot easier😔😔😔 so i always get bricked up and then my dick just keeps getting in the way 😵😵😵i rly be knocking shit over bro its hella annoying 😔😔😔 yall know the feeling when ur dick gets hard and u just let it hang there not touching it hoping it goes back to normal? 🤔🤔🤔 but because its too heavy on its own it makes it rly uncomfortable almost painful so that turns me on even harder and i brick up even more 😭😭😭😭 and then i full on dissosociate i see that thing and I just want it in me 😭😭😭 this shit has been happening for months now 😧😧😧 idk if im narcisistic to the point i literally want to have sex with myself 😞😞😞 or if im just soo horny i turn myself on 😟😟😟 and tbh i rly dont care anymore 😖😖😖 i just want it to end ☠☠☠ i need a care taker or sum to shower me that could suck me off every time i get hard 😞😞😞 but idk i low key need some privacy too 😔😔😔i just dont know what to do no more 😣😣😣
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The Declaration of Independence of amogus
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In CONGRESS, July 4, 2021
The unanimous Declaration of the eight united Crewmates of Among Us
When in the Course of ඞmogusa game of Among Us 🇺🇸, it becomes necessary for one crew to dissolve the sussy bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powerussys 👙👙 of the shipussy, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of gamers requires that they should mald about the causes which impel them to the ejection of the sus.
We hold these truths to be the opposite of sus, that all Crewmates are created equal, that they are endowed by Innersloth with certain unalienable Conditions, that Amongඞ Us are Impostors, Crewmates and the completion of Tasks.” — That to secure the victory of the Crewmates, Emergency Meetings are instituted Among Us, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Crewmates, —That whenever any Form of Sussiness 💅💅💅 becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Crewmates to eject it, and to institute new Emergency Meetings, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Survival. Logical deduction, indeed, will dictate that Impostors should not be ඞAmong Us for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that Crewmates are more disposed to suffer, while ejections are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of failed tasks, pursuing invariably the same Impostor Win evinces a design to kill 🔫😐👾 all the Crewmates, it is their right, it is their duty, to eject the impostors and to provide new Guards ✨ for their future security.
Such has been the patient sufferance of these Crewmates; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to hold an Emergency Meeting. The history of the present 🌚 Accused 😱 Crewmate is a history of repeated failed tasks, all having in direct object the establishment of ✨🌸 death!!! violence!!!! piles of bodies!!! <333333 :DDDDDDDD 🌸✨. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to 🔛🔛 Discord Voice Chat.
He has refused his card swipe, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his 🤪😂🤣📮🚘 Crewmates to clean the O2 filter, because he said “i am trash like these leaves are i kin them you cant take them away”, and has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has called together Emergency Meetings at times unusual, uncomfortable and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance 🍆🍑🍑🍑💦💦 >.<what 😳 are 👀 you doing stepbro 👅 HELLO?? with his measures 😈.
He has remained stationary at the asteroids station for two (2) minutes, yet the gun 🍆 on the outer part of the ship has not fired 😳 💦💦 a single time.
He 🧠 has refused to Empty Chute, preferring to let the spaceship rot in FILTH and COCKROACHES, to reflect his current standard of living (SOL - From Investopedia: Standard of living refers to the quantity and quality of material goods and services available to a given population.) in the real world. Because hes a neet like you (the reader) are
He has kept Among Us, in times of peace, Assorted Weaponry without the Consent of his Crewmates.
For quartering large bodies of Crewmates Among Us:
For 😍🍆 ejecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Crewmates of this spaceship:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Crewmate.
He is at this time murdering Blue 🚹 Crewmate (may he rest in peace inshallah 🙏🙏🙏 grapeee 🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇) , as observed by Green Crewmate, to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized spaceship.
He has constrained our fellow Crewmates to bear Arms against one another, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by venting ( announcement: please put vents in #vent idc about your emotional crises)⌨️ while the CCTV 📸 was on.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Emergency Meetings have been answered only by repeated injury. A Crewmate, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define an Impostor, is unfit to be a member of a Spaceship of Crewmates.
❌❌❌ Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Crewmate brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their Crewmate lookalikes to stab the shit out of us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity.
We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation via Ejection 🤰🤰, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Crewmatekind, Sussies in War, in Peace Friends.
"We, therefore, the Representatives of the Spaceship, in Emergency Meetings, Assembled, appealing to the Electorate for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of this Spaceship 🚀, solemnly publish and declare, That these Crewmates are, and of Right ought to let this Impostor Boil In Space; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Impostor, and that all sus 🦶🏼📸 connection between them and this Crewmate, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Ejected Crewmates, they have no Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Crewmates may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Innersloth, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our Sacred Honour." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Boss called me a “Good girl” and I think it unlocked a kink I’m ashamed to have.
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&#x200B;

I respect my boss and yesterday morning before I left work I let him know of something that occurred that resulted in immediate action and was handled with no issues. He said “wow what a good girl” and hearing him say that unlocked a turn on so fierce that I’m ashamed that I hope he calls me a good girl again.

Edit: Please stop messaging me calling me a good girl and wanting more details into my work environment. I don’t plan on doing anything with my boss.
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I lost my virginity to my cousin
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I lost my virginity to my cousin:

I'd had a massive crush on her since 7th grade, and Christmas break freshman year my family went to her house for Christmas.

At one point her mom asked her to go up to the attic to get some decorations, and she asked me of I would help. She climbed the ladder and I came up behind her. Wouldn't you know it, before my eyes could adjust to the darkness she grabbed me and kissed me much to my surprise. We ended up cuddling and making out on an old mattress, and pretty soon she unzipped my pants and went down on me. She was there for less than 30 seconds before she slid off her own pants and lowered herself down onto me cowgirl style. I knew it was wrong, but I just couldn't say no. I couldn't help myself; it was only a minute or two until I was just about ready to bust. I warned her, "I'm gonna cum," but she didn't stop. She grabbed me by the collar, looked me deep in the eyes, and asked, "Do you wanna be a daddy?" I came so hard I shat my pants.

We never did find the Christmas lights up there, and to this day, none of my friends can hold a candle to her.
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My family poops big.
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(Comment from r/cringetopia)

My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now.

\[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.\]
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found on greentext
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DUHHH CHAD!!!! DUHHH VIRGIN!!?!!1 CHAD!!!!! IS THAT ALL YOU SHITPOSTING FUCKS CAN SAY!!? DURR CHAD CHAD CHAD VIRGIN BETA CHAD CHAD VIRGIN VIRGIN SIGMA BETA I FEEL LIKE IM IN A FUCKING ASYLUM FULL OF DEMENTIA RIDDEN OLD PEOPLE THAT CAN DO NOTHING BUT REPEAT THE SAME FUCKING WORDS ON LOOP LIKE A FUCKING BROKEN RECORD VIRGIN BETA CHAD ALPHA VIRGIN GRINDSET GRINDSET SOYY SIGMA LOL SIGMA!!! TOUCH GRASS!!!1 CHAD!! LE BETA!!!! I AM ALPHA!!!! NO BETA VIRGIN SOYBOY CUCKS GOING LOW T AHGHGH I FUCKING HATE THE INTERNET SO GODDAMN MUCH FUCKJK YOU SHITPOST I HONEST TO GOD HOPE YOUR MOTHER CHOKES ON HER OWN FECES IN HELL YOU COCKSUCKER VUT OHHH I KNOWM MY POST IS BETA ISNT IT?? VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN SOYBOY ALPHA BETA SIGMA REDDIT REDDIT VIRGIN BETA CUCK SOYLENT REDDIT CHAD ALPHA AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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My girlfriend “freebleeds” all over my apartment and I’m considering breaking up with her
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I’m 24m and my gf is 22f. Several months ago she got into this new method of dealing with her periods called “freebleeding”. It’s basically where you don’t wear any pads or tampons (no menstrual products for that matter) and just let the blood flow wherever.

Initially when she told me about this I was kinda okay with it as long as she contained it in her underwear or layed on towels. But then I started noticing period stains here and there. On the couch, drops on the floor, even on the bedsheets. The stains started soaking into the mattress. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I didn’t say anything until the room started accumulating a very weird odor. She said she would start cleaning it but never did.

She started freebleeding into my boxers and when I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that she basically said all of her underwear was soaked and she didn’t have anything else. I’d had enough and told her I wanted her to wear pads or tampons again like an adult if she couldn’t contain her messes.

She said her cramps were less severe doing stuff this way and that she didn’t want to stop. Also said it was childish to act this way about some period stains. I told her it was disgusting and that blood is still a biohazard regardless of where it comes from.

She got offended, said I was calling her dirty and we started arguing. I gave her an ultimatum to use menstrual products or to get out of my apartment and we’d be done. She hasn’t talked to me since and I really don’t want to break up with her but I’m just so grossed out and can’t deal with the smell. Those boxers were high quality too.
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I have a confesion to make, i love women
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Okay, I have a confession to make. I love women. I really love big breasted women. I've had a dream for a truly long time to suckle on a well matured woman's beautiful nipples and taste her supple milk. I want to lick and suck her massive areolas as she holds me close and calls me her little good boy. I want to sip from her natural love mounds until my mouth is full and it begins to spill from the sides of my lips. I want to hear her sing me to sleep as I drink from her holy grail of maternal affection. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I need a mommy to share her mommy milkers.
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My boyfriend doesnt know (from trueoffmychest)
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At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
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Fuck off
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fok weg

qij

ብዳኝ

تبا

ջախջախել

sikişmək

izorratu

ебаць

বন্ধ চোদা

odjebi

махай се

a la merda

fuck off

chitani

滚开

滾開

cazzu

Odjebi

do prdele

fuck af

rot op

fuck off

fiku

persse

bastos ka

vittuun

Va te faire foutre

soademiter op

carallo

გაყუჩდი

Verpiss dich

Γαμήσου

વાહિયાત બોલ

fout la

zagi

hoʻopaʻapaʻa

לעזאזל

भाड़ में जाओ

fuck tawm

Baszd meg

fokk burt

gbapụ

persetan

fuck as

Vaffanculo

ファックオフ

jancok mati

ಫಕ್ ಆಫ್

кет
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Found in R/Ukraine
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No. Putin was responsible for the holocaust, the Armenian genocide, WW2, the Korean war, the Vietnam War, 9/11, the Arab Spring, the Crusades, the Islamic invasion of Spain, the formation of Israel, he was also responsible for driving the Jews out of Israel in the first place,in fact the Egyptians did nothing wrong; it was Putin who was responsible for enslaving the Jews. Putin is secretly a scaly and one day while he was wearing his snake suit he tricked Eve and told her to eat the apple. He also killed Abel. He also lead the Mongol invasions of everywhere. And the Hun invasions. And the Mughal invasions of India. And the Viking invasions.Putin was the guy who started colonialism(only the invading part not the part where they provided technology and medicine to the natives). After Putin tested positive for Covid19, he spit on Native Americans, nearly driving them extinct. Putin also killed all the dinosaurs. He was also behind the Bronze age collapse. Putin single-handedly did the Triangular Slave Trade; hell he was the guy Putin bought the slaves from. Putin also beheaded a French teacher for disrespecting Mohammad, and blamed it on wholesome Muslimerinos. All the blood diamonds are produced by Putin. He was the guy who cut Congolese workers hands off because they did not meet his supply. Putin chased Kyyle Rittenhouse in Kenosha with a skateboard and beat him up and snatched his rifle, and used it to kill Jacob Blake. During the BLM protests Putin was the one who looted and burned all the stores. Even during the Charolletsville incident, they were all shadow-clones of Putin. Putin did Pearl Harbor and bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Putin was the mastermind of the Holodomor, the Great Leap Forward, East Germany and every time a tankie screams "It was not real communism", Putin was involved. Putin grilled the last dodo. Putin shoots Palestinian kids for fun and shoots missiles at Israeli civilians. He was the guy who killed all those Rohingyas, and Uyghurs. He was also involved the current Hong Kong situation; so much involved that he was the one who sold opium to the Chinese. The Irish potato famine, Africa, the Bengal Famine; all because of Putin. Putin commits human rights violations on North Korean citizens everyday. Al Qaeda, Mujaheddin, Boko-Haram, Taliban; Putin. He also killed the prophet of the wholesome 100 Muslimerinos, Sulemani; in a missile strike. He also did the Rape of Nanjing and it was Putin who ordered and supplied all the Korean comfort women. Putin personally snitched on Anne Frank to Putin. The Jim Crow laws were passed by Putin, as well as the war on drugs. The partition of India was Putin's fault, as well as the resulting Kashmir issue. He also starred in the Cuban missile crisis and started the cold war. During the Russian Revolution, the peasants understood that Nikolai II's family was innocent, and would offer them a chance to leave, but Putin massacred them. Putin tried his best but failed in preventing the American and French Revolutions, but he got back at them by causing the Reign of Terror. Putin tortured Louis XVI's son and forced him into saying that he had sex with his mother and aunt, and promptly guillotined them. Putin invented pineapple-pizza and Tofu-Chicken. He was the guy who snitched on Alan Turing, revealing that he was gay. The judge felt that such a respected professor could be sent away with a slap on the wrist, but Putin rigged the jury and sentenced him to hormonal therapy. Putin rigged the New York Stock Exchange and caused the great depression. In the town of Waco, he raped a woman, blamed it on a black man and lynched him by burning him alive. He was the leader of the Khmer Rouge and wrote the plot for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Despite making up only 3.0211238398812703164724804575659e-7 % of the population Donald Putin commits 100% of the crimes. Putin also was the dictator of Uganda. Putin regularly kills journalists and opposition leaders in Russia. He was behind Princess Diana's car crash. Putin fucked a monkey and started the AIDS pandemic. He started coronavirus and ebola and the Black Death and the Spanish flu and the Bubonic plague and the syphillis outbreak and the Trojan war and tthe Bush war and the fall of Rome and the Dark Ages. After taking a dump, Putin leaves his toilet paper like this. Putin burned down the Notre Dame, and knelled on George Floyds neck. He also was the guy who sold drugs to George Floyd. Putin is the reason I am the only person in my class who doesn't have a girlfriend. Putin is the reason why the Armenia Azerbaijan crisis is even there.
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That seals the deal.
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That seals the deal. I am no longer a Reddit user. I’ve been a Reddit user since 1901 and this website is a pure and utter embarrassment to the internet. I’m taking my support to Pornhub, where they know how to run a relaxing, family-friendly website.
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I took sex bot bios and made then into a copypasta
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