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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
I like to use entire bottles of axe every morning
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I like to use entire bottles of axe every morning. Hell, I use that shit like holy water on a demon. I bathe in it. Everyone says that I “am over doing it” or that “you smell like absolute shit” and “get the fuck away from me, I can’t breathe around you!” But I know that they are just jealous of how fucking manly I smell. I bet that I would get a lot of pussy if I did not go to an all-boys school. When I get to high school bitches gonna be all over me. Pussy galore. Then the haters will see me for who I really am, a real man.
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Dicks, dicks everywhere - taken from an ancient askreddit thread
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Get a call one day to this house we've been doing service at for years according to Boss. I've never heard of the guy. Boss seemed kind of funny when he gave me the call. Customer isn't home and I'm supposed to go around checking vents, changing filters, doing maintenance. I walk in and there's dicks everywhere. Eight by five foot pictures of dicks on the walls. Hand blown glass dick sculptures, dick lamps, dick throw pillows...hell, even the china cabinet was full of dick dishes. I saw a casserole that the handles and lid top were tiny dicks. So many dicks. When I went in the kitchen there's a five gallon jug of lube sitting where the hand soap would be at the sink. Dude even had a dick shaped paper towel holder. Where did he even FIND half this stuff?? Every kind of knick knacks you could imagine he had a dick knack version of. I've never seen anything like it in my twenty years of doing this job. Whatever floats your boat I guess but personally I'd get tired of being stared down by dicks every time I turned around.
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Judd Apatow's tweet about the Will Smith-Chris Rock altercation at the 2022 Oscars
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He could have killed him. That's pure out of control rage and violence. They've heard a million jokes about them in the last three decades. They are not freshman in the world of Hollywood and comedy. He lost his mind.
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That seals the deal. I am no longer a fan of Will Smith.
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That seals the deal. I am no longer a fan of Will Smith. This actor is a pure and utter embarrassment to the Award of Academy. I officially will not be renewing a contract with Will nor will I watch his jubilee again. I’m going to Chris Rock where they know how to be a celebrity.
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Yo Mr White
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Yo Mr White your cock is straight up dope, so shoot it down my throat. You killed my girlfriend, which put me at the end of my rope, but Capn Cook is here bout to be whiter than the pope. Science, bitch, shoot down all your future kids, no more Hollys golly cause they're all inside my jaw,see, except that one with palsy. Yo srs Mr White what the fuck did you put in this meth

YOUR ARE NO LONGER JESSO. I HAVE IMPLANTED A MIND CONTROL PROGRAM WITH THE MIND OF GUS CAREFULLY SAVED BEFORE I BLEW HIM up. THE FACT YOU HAD AN ACTUAL RHYME IN YOUR RAP PROVES GUS'S MUCH MORE POWERFUL INTELLIGENT GAY NEURONS ARE TAKING OVER. By the end of the week, Jesse will be no more
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Does Anyone Else Have an Irrational Hatred for Deer?
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Does Anyone Else Have an Irrational Hatred for Deer?

I love animals, but there's something about deer that just make me want to beat the ever-loving shit out of them. When you look them in the eye, you can tell absolutely nothing is going on upstairs. They're so fucking stupid, but for some reason that's not the reason they make me irrationally homicidal. Goldfish are fucking stupid, but I think they're adorable (I cried when my black moor Richard got stuck in a tank decoration and died). One time, an older lady I know was talking about a house she and her husband had when they lived in Virginia. They lived in a secluded wooded area, so the deer would often come to their backyard and eat the corn they set out. She got all teary-eyed reminiscing on how close the deer got to the house and how cute and pretty and majestic and blah blah blah blah... All I could think in the meantime was, "I would've pumped those fuckers full of lead the second they set a hoof on my turf".

Seeing all the dumbfuck deer on this sub just makes my hatred grow. It almost feels *intentional* how they wait until *just* the right moment before they jump out onto a 20+ foot road in the middle of the night. It's the middle of the fucking night. There are no other cars coming by. They had hours to cross the fucking road in complete peace and safety. But no, they choose to cross the road *right* as there's a bright, 3-ton object thundering down the road at 70 MPH, and their timing is *so precise* that they manage to get in the way without giving the driver any forewarning. Like holy shit, unless deer are naturally suicidal and actually *are* doing this on purpose, it's a whole 'nother level of mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging stupidity to defy such low odds (getting hit by a car in the middle of the night) so often there has to be bright yellow traffic signs with your species plastered across it.

Why do they stand still when they think they're in trouble? Why do they freeze when they see a car barreling toward them at breakneck speeds? Well, I've heard some people explain it as, "hurp dee dur, duh deer freeze cuz they can blend in with de woods if dere's a predator nearby!" Well damn, Zookeeper Ellen, that makes deer even more stupid. Standing in place to hide is on the same level of stupidity as that corny porno where that guy hides by sticking a lampshade on his head and pretending he's a lamp.

Oh, and don't get me started on overpopulation. These fuckers are such a plague on the wilderness that the survival of their species *literally* depends on their own kind getting killed. How stupid do you have to be when *the creatures hunting your kind* are able to act more in your own interest than your own stupid self? Jesus Christ, the next time I see a deer, I'm getting out of my car and suckerpunching it with the biggest roundhouse I can muster. I want to do it so badly. I want to punch one and watch it look at me in shock with those empty, beady eyes. Then I'll punch it again. Fucking idiots. And if the buck comes around, I'll punch him too. Thinks he's so tough with his dumbass antlers. Idiots can't even keep them on for a full year. Bet I'll just knock 'em off, and I'd actually be doing the dumbfuck a favor since they'd just get caught on something out there otherwise.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant. Sorry to cut this post short, but I've got therapy in the morning.
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I WILL scratch my anus in public.
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Society needs to allow people to scratch their ass in public. Theres not a single soul in the world who doesnt hate having an itchy anus and not being able to do much about it.

Fuck you. I WILL scratch my anus in public.
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Why is 6 afraid of 7
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It's a fairly common question, mostly because when people see 6 and 7 next to each other, it doesn't really make sense. 6 is large, muscled, and trained in multiple martial arts, while 7 is fairly average, physically, and short. However, 6's fear of 7 has its roots in childhood. See, 6 and 7 grew up together, and for a few years, they were best friends. But then 6 kissed 3, and they became childhood sweethearts. 7 secretly had feelings for 3, so 7 decided he needed to destroy 6 to win 3's affection. He started subtly, undermining 6 whenever possible with passive aggressive comments and compli-sults. But over time, things got much more insidious. 7 started messing with 6's performance in school, bringing down his grades and turning teachers against him. Even worse, 7 became great friends with 6's parents and slowly turned them against their own offspring. At night, 7 would sneak into 6's bedroom, and whisper depressing and hopeless things into his ears. Every time 3 was around, 7 would pants 6 and make fun of his genitalia, or try to body shame him in other ways. However, 3 was both smart and compassionate, and saw through 7's schemes, sticking with 6, trying to counter 7's psychological tear-down with compliments and friendship. Finally, 7 decided that he would never be able to win 3, so he drugged both 6 and 3, taking them to an abandoned cobbler's hut on the edge of town. There, he proceeded to torture and maim 3, forcing 6 to watch in horror, unable to do anything to save his sweetheart. 7 didn't kill 3, but instead, put her in a semi-vegetative state. 7 cleaned the scene of his prescence, then called the cops, having 6 blamed for 3's condition. 6 was sent to prison, believing 6 was guilty, 6's parents fell into a deep depression, eventually committing suicide over what they believed 6 had done. After serving 17 years of a 30 year sentence, and getting out on good behaviour, 6, now muscled and skilled as a fighter, thought he might get revenge on 7. But when he finally tracked down 7, he found out that 7 had installed a micro-bomb into 3's body, and should he be killed, the bomb would automatically go off and kill 3 as well. And though she was still in a mostly fugue state, 6 couldn't bring himself to hurt her any further, and decided to try and move on with his life. However, being an ex-con, it was difficult for him to get a job. 6 finally found employment at a diner, which 7 then bought, and proceeded to again undermine and toy with 6 at every turn. 6 tried to find employment elsewhere, but 7 contacted any potential employer and soured them against 6. 6 finally realized that no matter what he did, 7 was going to try and ruin his life, and he resigned himself to living as a broken, lonely man, never able to stand up to the depraved, amoral 7.
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I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch ass motherfucker.
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He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a call out post on my Twitter.com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller." And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what, I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrrroppplllleeettts hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!
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courtesy of a discord dm
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Dearest companion! How I treasure you so, the words we share are always and forever seared into my soul however I must unfortunately abandon you in cold blood, dying alone! It is my deepest regret to leave you this way, without aid or hope of rescue however the Creator has demanded I go to the wild, tempting lands known only as ‘The Bedroom’. How horrifying it is to be sent from your intoxicating side to this devil spawning realm! I tried to resist but I knew in the bed I would have to leave eventually but you should always know, in my soul that I forever will wish to be by your side.
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😂GET😂OUT😂OF😂MY😂HEAD
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̑̋͂̒͋̈̈̚̚̚͜͝͝͝═̵̛̯͖́̆̾̾̍̄̍̇́̔̔̾̃͐̎̑̀̂͊̓̍̒̊̈́͛̌̏́͑͒̋͋͘̕̕͝͝═̷̢̛̛̛̛̳͈̩̘͈͉̹͒̊͑̂͊̈͆̌͆͛̿̆̉͂̈́̑̾̒̄̔̂͛͛̀̌̊̈̃̊͛̅̋͛̏͛͊̚͘͝͝█̷̛͚̀͑̓́͊͂͆̒̈́͘̚█̵̧̨̨̲͙͖̞͉͕͈̬͕̹̥̜̩̼̫͕̳͂̈͊̽͋͘ͅ║̴̛͍͈̝͈̬̮͉͉̳̤̰̱̟̠̌͗̐̓̿̊́̃̈́̔̂̿̇̍̄͆͂̇̐͆͑͊͛͒̿̾̿̓̇̈̓͗̏̕͘͘͘͜͠͝͠ͅ░̶̡̨̧̡͚̘̣͎͇͓͔̬̹͇̝̖̖͈̖̦̠͖̳͔͕̯̯̤̘̅̓͘͘͜͜͠͠͠͝╚̷̨̢̧̨̛̛̛͚̖̲̞͈̩̭͙̟͙̥̱̠͚̪̟̞̺̟̖̗̻̥̹͉̀̍͊͑͌̉͛͆̈͛̂̏͑̌̍̈́̌͋͘͘̕͜͝ͅ═̴̧̺̤͉̲̝̭̬̥̭̱͎̬̋͛̋̍̈́̎̐̎͌̆͘͜͝ͅ═̶̨̢̧̢̡̛̥̻̯͓͚̘͉̘͇̻̻̲̩̫̯̼͉͔̜̠͇̟̹̺̭̪̜̟̱͔͚̣̻̹̞͎̱̈́̋́̒̄͠ͅ═̷̢͙̼̙͓̮̞̠̼͓̪̲̀̌͗̾̒̽͆͗̍̋̓̀͆̎͛̍̂͆͋́͆̇̓̓͂̋̓͘͘͠͠͠█̷̙̻̱͇̇͒̐̃̈́̃́͒̈̐̌̆̃̊̑̚͝͠͝█̴̧̧̛͚̠̝̪̻̤̲͈̳̯̮̫̪͇̻̙̘̞͙̞̬͔͕̝͎̹̱͙̜̼͈͚̪̦̉̉͋̍͆͒̈́̋̍̉͛͒͌̌͒̀̆̊̇́́̓͒̈́̈́̒͐̾͆́́̕̚̕͝͝ͅͅ╗̸̧̧̨̧̛͔̯͈͖̯͚͖̪̹͈̥̮̘̙̦̻̗̭̠̲̤̫̜̤̲̺̫̲̼̙͚͕̦͂̊̿̓̈͊͆̿̉̂̉̆̊̐̑̂̄̈͊̈́̈́̚͝͝█̸̨̢̛̩̫̮̹͖̭̺̺͙̩̮̳̞̲̤͗́̅̆̓͐̃̎͑̀̋̈́̉̓̄̋͒͌̀͑̆̓͑̏̓̂͌̈́̾̔̇̚͘͠͠͝ͅ█̷̡̨̢̨̛̖̮̦̯̦͍̰̰̪͕̬̻̰̣̝͎͎͎͔̫̊̔̐̍̆͊̔̑͌͒͂͒̓̾̍͌̊̓͒̓͋͑̋̓̓̂̊̃͛̌̏͌̍͘͜͜͠║̷̮̤͔͓͎͖̱̗̠͇̜̳̖̮̗̬͙̹͔̜̜̬̹̯͛͒͋͑̚ͅ░̵̨̛̮̙̹̪̣͙̪̩͈̰̜̗̠̘̱͕͖̺͚͈̠̤̼̳͕̝̂̽̀͛̒̒́̆̀́́͛̒̿͑̇̒̐͂́̈́̒̆͋̔͛͆́̆͐͛̑̕͘͜͝͝░̶̛̛͙͉̙͇̞͖̳̪̦͖̳̘̘̖͇͉̻̥̖̖̖̬͚̖̃͛̀̈́͐͆̆̄͗̈́̅͌̇̏̈̽̂̆̓́̕̚͜͝͝͝ͅ█̴̨̢̧̛̻̖͙̹̜̝͚̠̘͙̱̗͔͍̱̪̼̩̞̤̪̯͙̖̗̺͉͇̞̬̦̱̱̲̘͊͒̄̏̀̀̑́̍̄̌̂̔͐̓̓̇̆͂͛́͑͊̑͂̃̓̊̅͆̀́̍̕͜͜ͅͅ█̵̢̧̢̛̛̠̥͚͈̜̻̦̬͕͎͓͇̗̲͖̪̣͇̮̳̙̣̫͈̳͔̜̥͇̥̹̙̬̣̪̭̙̾̄̐̅̍́͛̎͐̉͋́̊̈́̿̈́̔͂̈́̂̎͜͜ͅͅ║̴̬̰̖̲̲͈̳́̀́͆̚█̸̡̡̡̨̧̨̪̬͍͎̝̺͖͓͙̓̾̀̐̅́͂͋̃͗̑͆̏̈́͒̋́̀̒͋̔͆̋̃̕̕͘͝͝█̵̞͋̈͒̈́̇̃̉̒͂̈́̾̍̃͋̒̉͐̐̐̇́̀͌̆͊̚̚͘̚͘̚̕͝╔̷̢̢̢̢̛̺͖͖͍͇̳̗̗̼̹̲̰͍͉̙̳̯͇̪͇̝̼̬̗̣͇̮̣̣̺͉̬͉̮̠͕̆͊̎̑̍͌̋̋̃̆͊͂̽̌͐̑̏͛̍̀͘̕͝͝ͅ═̸̢̛̤̺̳̠̮̖͇̉̈́̆̊̍̎̒̈́͋́̑̌̓̎̄̿̊̎̈́̅̌̿́͆̌̈́̐̀͊̑͌̚̚̕̕̚͠͠═̵̡̨̨̛̲͔̤̼̝͇͎̩̌̆͗̾̈͗̈̅͌͊̿̔͒̂̊̐̀̇̿̉͐̈́͒̀̊̓̀̾̈́̍͠͠█̶̡̡̢̧̨̖̟̝̹͖̜̠͈̥̙̠̙̺͍͔̮̲͚͚̝̣͎̘͔̰̾̒̉̈́͒̑̋͌̃̉̃͜ͅ█̸̢̢̧̛̦̗͓͇̺͓̤͎̳͇̖̬̬̮̭̳͍͈̼̟̘̠̊̀͒͐̒̔̒̄̈́͑́̇͂͜ͅ║̸̧̢̧̠̫̟̬̬͈̣͓͖̣͙̣̲̱̤̤̖̖̳̠̰͍͚͉̱̩̭̝͙̥͔̩͎͗͛́̍͒̑̋̈́͒̅̈̆̓͐̈́̃̇̇̀́͋͗̾̐̌̓̒̿̇̈́̔̋̈́̆̈́͊̓͂͑͜͜͜͝ͅͅ█̶̡͇̲̭̦͎̮͔̜̤̘̎̅̅̅́͐͒̄̍̽̑̃́̈́̒͑͗̌̓͘͠͝͝█̶̢̢̱͇̮͓̩̜̪̞̺̗̰̺̪͍͍̠̭͍̘̘̭̥͎̺͙͙̙̭̣͊̇͒̍͗̎̑͗̌͑̽̀̔͛͌͑̓́̈̉́̓̇̔̇͊͑̋̍̏̎́͘̚͜͜͠͝╔̷̨̡̛̛̲͖͚̯̥͓̠͇̗̻̉̐̇̓̾͊͒̎̔́̇͆̋̆̃͠═̴̢̪̱͕̠̘̲̞̘͔̻̟͎̫̹͎̮̟̙͔̱͍̻̣̟͔͈̀̀̀̓̄̊̈̎̐̀̊̈́̍͂̾͘̕̚̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅ═̴̡̡̡̢̨̝̭̰͉̹̻͔̹͙̖̥̗͓͔̼̜͓̬̥̟̠͔͍̳̰̪̝̠̖̑́̈́̏̕͜ͅ█̷̨̯̯͍̹̬̙͍̙̞͈͈̲̥̜̾̇̓̀́͋͆̽̎͛̔̏̐̀͌̂̆̎̀̏̐̕͘͝ͅ█̷̢̨̡̛̖̲̰̣̪̲̼̫̩͓̈́̑̓̾͐̊͑̔͊̽̏̓́̀́͛̔̅͋͋̎̄̓̅̂́̈́͛͂̅̌͒̐̈́̆̊͐͂̎̚̚̚ͅ║̷̵̨̢̡̡̧̨̢̛̬͙͇̞̻̰͓̳̘̱͈̪̥̙̫̤͙͇͈̲͙̤̬̪̼͕͔̞̟̹̖̥̼͈̘͕͉͔͙͕͉̬̯͚̝̫̥͙̱̠̤̙̪̝̫̘̗͙͇̥̜͖̗̯̖͕̖̝͆̍̾̉͋͌͊͌̈́̂́̀̽̅̓̎̑̌̽̑̆̊̎̆͂̒͋͂̂̑̈́̍̒̊̈́͘̚̚͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅ█̴̡̛̛̛̛̮̩͉̺̦͈̾̄̈́͐̑͒͋̆̎̆̂̀̒́̓͌̆̅͗̍̌̀͂͌͛̓͆͑̔́̕̕̚͘͝͝█̷̡̢̢̛̛̝͍͈̝͇̹̯͙̣͖̖̜͎͇̺̣̰͙̗̖͕͙̯͈̼̱̦̼̓͆̍̀́̿̈̓̿͂̒̿͋̄̂͊̇̕̚͜͜ͅ█̸̢̡̢̢̨̢̛̻̝͖̞̣̙̣̯̭͖̲̺̥̦̘̙͎͎̥͎̙̤̟̝̙͚̐̋͑́̇̆̎́̄́̅͆̄̇́͆͂̍̆͂͋͒͑̈̐̍̈́̿̀͆͒͐͂̕̚̚̕͠█̶̧̢̙̤͔̩͕̥̹̯͙̗̱̼̙̝̺͕̤̬͉̗̬͓̣̣͚̜͕̗̗̩̜̞̠̼̗͙͇̳̦̆̈́͆͗̍̈́̌͂̃̾͌́̃̉̆̈́̎̈́̋̐̎̈͘͝͝█̴̛͎̮̮͚̰̼͖͕̗̖͆̾̑̏͗̈́͒͑̌̈́̄̈́͂̈̈́́͋̂́̃̏́͘̚̕͝͝͝ͅ█̵̡̭̠͉͙͖͈̻͇͇̘͙̫̱͓̮̺̼͎̲̦͕̉̀̌̌͛̔̂̄̈́͒̾͊͑͑͐̽̉̄̀̕͝ͅ╔̵̢̛͚̦͍͇̼̗̫̦̤̯̤͕͈͇̦͈͇̪̝͎̉̊͌̽͑̔͗͐̇̑͌̀̏̀̏͗̄̍̂̈́̈́͐́̓͘͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅ╝̷̧̢̨̙͕͎̠̻̞̺̯̗̼͔̯͇̳̙͔͚͈̞̟̼̬̰̜̺͙̙̋̄̀̊́̿̽͐͌͊̓̅̄́̌̾͒̑̚͘̕͘͜͜͠͝ͅͅ█̴̡̧̢̲͓͔͖̺̟̪͖̣̮̘͉̝̩͎͕̗̼̹̝͙̈́ͅ█̵̮̘̉̇̅̑͛̈́͒̂̀̉́̉͛̾̑͐͛̀̇̍̚̚͠͠ͅ║̴̡̡̭̩͉̰͕̘̘̹̼͈̪̬̖̥̭͉̺̭̯̦̜͙̣͇͚̥̰̞̰̑̇́̈́͊͑̌̀̉̄̑͊̐̓̍̀͑̍̾́̆̓̒̇̋́̅͂̽̏͝͠░̴̨̮̖͈͔̮͙̬͇̮͇͔̥͖͕̒̾̓̍͋̚░̶̡̨̡̡̛͖͉̫̦̟̦̼̠͓͙͎̮̠̘͕̜̽̆̀̈̌̊̇́̏̏̆̓̀̓̈́͋̈̏̆̾͋̂͌̉̑́͊̌̚͘͝͝͠͠█̷̛̜̞̪̲̝̲̩̤̬̣͊͆̎̿̒̐̔́̈͆̾͛̑̃̽̎̾█̸̢̛̮̉̾͋̎͐̈́́́͒̀͊̆͌̋̊̽͒̅̀̂͐̈́̋̒̏̓̾̑͛̃͂̀̿̚̕͘̕͝͠͝║̵̢̛̛̦̰̣̙̳͉͓̥͎̟͈̥̘̰̦̯̖̮̻̫̬͙͖̗̠͉̦̼̜̠̮̑́͆̊̋̐́͒̂̏̿͗̇̉͂̄̿̂̑̈͛͜͠͝█̸̢̧̛̯͍̤͍̭̠͓̠̱̠͉̪̲̫̖͈͔͙̱̘̝͓̗̭̠̼̪̤̟͉̙̞͓͕̬̩͕̲̙̂̾̄́̏̎̾͐̈́̍͗͒̑̓͋͑͒͋̌́̋͋̏̐̇͌̍̇̇͂́̏̀͆̅̎͂̒̐͒̚͜͜͝͠ͅ█̶̢̯̤̍͆̀́̽̌̉͗̿́͑̋̆̑͑̀̉̽͋̌͊͑̈́͘̕͝█̴̰̦̭͖̹̞̱̩͇͎̜͉̖̗̙̖̳͍̼̞̩̈́͆̏͆̔̒̏̈́̚͜͝█̸̧̡̡̼̭͔̥̯̱̞̯̟͖͈̻̗̳̞̬͇̣̺̯͍̯͇̯̱̪̩̬̣͚͈̠͎̳̱͖̺̦̯̋̇͗́̉̌̀̈̍̿̌̓̽̿̉͐̽͊̄̈́͒̂̉͆͂́̓̄̇̔̅̋̚͜͜͠͝͝͝█̴̨̡̨̛͚̩͚̼̖͚̭͍͍̼̖̬̣̤̜̣̯̀̓̑̌̏̌͊͛̄͑͂̇̏́̓͗͘͘͝͝█̷̨̧̨̡̨̙̰̝͓͓̬̱̰̗̥̞̣̮̼̞̝̦̱͚̬͈̰͈̦̞̞̠̬̥̣͚̻͎͎̱̹̖̜̎́̍̽̎͂̈́̎̊̑̎̋͛̐̆̅̓̏́̾̈́̓̋╔̵̢̛̛̩͍͖̹͙̥̋̑͋͐̒͂̐͑̅͒̒̐͌̎̀̿͆̈̂̾̆̍̀͐͑̈̕͘̕̕̚͘͠͝╝̶̨̢̧͇͔̼̟͕̹͙̬̪͉̞̼͔̖̼͖̮͉̘͍͈̝͍̮̼̯̱̺̤̱͉̞͖̞͕̜̟̱̤̯̃̈̆̋͋͛̆͘͘̕͜█̵̡̡̧̢͍̟̤̲̮̙̜̺͕̜̰͈͉̬̤̤͇̠͎̺͕̣̀̐̂̀̃͌̏̎͗̍̆̃̒͒̇̒́̈͗̈́̅̉̓̓̃̈́͊̉́͘͝ͅͅ█̵̧̮̣̝̈́̉█̶̨̙̹̯̖̻͇̭̹̥͚͍͍̦̘͇̘͕̮̈́̇̍̂̿̾͌̉́̿̍̓̋̒̂͗̑̓͂͆͆̾̾̈́̈̀͆͑̆̏̓͆͘̕̚̚̚̚͘͜͜͠͝█̸̺͈̬̦͖̜̳͍̝̦̝̿̄̆̂͐́̎̾̅́̓̽̀͗͋̀͑̆̿̌̎̀̉̀̽̈́͗̑͆̈͛͘͜͠█̷̨̨̢̢̠̺̩̯̙̩̥̝̮͚̜̩͕̞̮̬̂̌͊̽̽͂͗̍͑̒͂̐̄̈͊̓̓͆̽̐̔̓̄̀̌̎̚͘͘͘̚̚͝█̴̛̛̤̼̮̮͉̦̫̩̖̜͈̰͉̘̩͎̫̝͇͇̤̭͖̺̹̔̈͐̈͒͆͗̐̽̀͑̈́͌̉͘͜͝͝╔̷̡̖͎͙̿͑̀́̄͊͛̉̐͑̊͆̈́̂́͊͆̂̾͋̃͛̔̀̓̇̏̏̔́̔͋̌̆̈͌̓͌̓̕͝╝̸̢̘͈͍̝̉́̂́͌̑̄̈́͗̆̒̿̾̿̍͌́̍̕͘͝█̷̧̢̪̝̥̩͚̰̋̒̀̄͗͑̽̾͗̀̀̆̿̽̓͑̏̀̌̓͐͆̌̿̔͐̒̔̃̈́̒͒͂͐͐̇̈͋̄̈́̽̆̿͛ͅ█̶̛̣̳̺̔͋͌̽̽̀̈̿͛̾͆͑̉̿̃̐̂̒͗̈̊̔̇̅̒͛̎̊̕͝║̷̨̡̛̛̜̹͙̦͖̝̩̫̜̗͖̞̱͚̟͔͙̹͙̫̟̤͔̘̜̺̣̹͎̞͙̖̩̰̟͑̄̀̍̒͗̆̃̓̉̓́̇̿̊͊̉̌̍̋̿͒́̉̀̕͜͠͠░̴̧̧̧̡̡̢̦͓͉̱̭͇̱̱͚̮̻̩̝̥̯̼̦͈̬̲͚͉͊̎̌͋́̈́͊͛̄̒͒̑̆̀͒̀̉͆̉̕͝͝͝͠͠░̶̡̧̲̼̰͈͉̳̳̦͉̹̖̼̯̗̘̪̲̜͚́̔́̊͌̂̍̄ͅ█̷̨̧̨̨̨̛̘̟̙̣̼̪͖̮̳͍̺̥̻̜̯̹̘͙̖̟͍̳̰̦̮͉̘̙͚̗̜͗̌̃̍̊̀̐͐̉̑̇͊̈́̆̍͋̔̀͑̇̔̈́̚͝ͅ█̴̨̨̹̝̙̳̰̖͎̣̬̩̤̥͔̠̩̠̯̩̖́̈́̇͂̋̅̓̅̌̈́̇̈́̚͝͠║̵̛̛͚̺̘͎͔̬̖͈͈̗̩̇̏́̑͑̒̿͜█̶̡̨̢̧̢̛̖̺̤̻̼͉͎̰̟̳͕̰̫͕̺̱͓̫͎̲̼̟̣̳̫̻͎̣͔̦̊̌͐͛͑̓͑̓̎̒̀̋̈́͂̈́̄͒̂̆̋̌͐̒̀̈̒͆͌̚͘̕̕͘͜͝͝͝͝█̶̛͔̥̘̲̪̏̈́̾̀́̄̀̍̌̿́͌̈́̅̓̆̿͗͐̇͜͜͝͝͠͠║̸̝̘͒̎͛͑̄̀͂̏̏̈́͗͂̈́̈́͗̀̏̽̾͊̃̇͊̄͑̚̕͘̚͜͝͝͠͝░̶̨̛̦̀̇̏̐̉̊́̄̈́̏̓̐̓̎̏̏̉̇̓̾͌̉́̍̏̊̐͘͘͝░̴̥̹̼̼̜̜̠̫̜̝̱̗̼̙̟͎͓̐̋̑̈́͂̈́̄͂̍́͐̓̏͗̏͆̍͂͋́͊̂̐̍͌̉̔̆̽̔͋̐̑̾̇̑̽̕͘͜͠͝ͅͅ█̷̨̧̛̩̦̪̞͔͓̯̞̥̲̗͉͎̜̦͉̻̜̤̯̝̰͍̞̰̙͚͔̹̱͍̆̓̊̏͜͜█̷̛̮̗̦̙͕̗̻̹͙͎̭̫̱̖̠̪̹̯̬̙̔̽̑̆̌̃̆̇̓̉̈́̈́͗̔̏̏̾͆̈́̑̀̅͗́̈́̾̈́̾͂͑̄͗͊͑̍̎̌̋͝͝͝͝
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PCM Auth-right take on male superiority
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Unironically the difference between male inherent strength and women's is greatly underestimated.

Yea we're similiar as we're one species duh but, a Man can be out-of-shape piece of shit junkie fattie/skinny genetic dead end weakling LOSER and still muster (even if momentarily) enough musclepower to chokeslam the ever-loving ovaries out of a fem\*id on the ground with little difficulty

Men have some sort of primal "reserve" of extra strength that they call tap into even if there's not much 'baseline' strength to speak of is what i'm saying
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So, there’s a beehive next to the sidewalk me and my friend walk to school on.
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Now, we walk to school relatively early so there was nobody around, when we got to that beehive he made a joke about it being “the local glory hole.” At the time I thought nothing of it.
A few days later we’re walking past the same bee hive, he stops and grabs me on the shoulder. I turn around to see why he grabbed my shoulder, and he points at the hole and says “No Bitches” as he pulls down his pants (underwear too) and sticks his dick in the beehive! In not even a second he regrets it, as he starts screaming in pain as all the bees sting his dick. A few minutes later the last bee stings directly into the piss whole. I was panicked and I called 9-11. However, when I told them my friend stick his dick in a bee hive and is now bleeding out the pisshole they called me a sick deranged idiot, and hung up. It wasn’t until a car drove by that, he was able to get help.

Edit: they have to remove his dick so he doesn’t die
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found this 💎 on discord
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This place had over 2k people in it at one point. Now it's just stupid gen z memes and random women. There's a reason so many people left. I'm leaving too because this place is a literal waste of time. I'd say have a good one but I literally couldn't care less about any of you. Bye.
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From r/teenagers
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My penis

Ever since I was a wee lad, I noticed my penis was a bit large. I thought it was normal, untill my mom bathed me with my brother and I saw his little wee wee compared to mine, I couldn't help but point at it and mock it. A few months later when I started kindergarden, the teacher inspected our cocks for the monthly cock inspection, and noticed my large dick. I was very young but I could still see he was very envyous of my humongous cock, knowing he will never be as big, he called my mom and told her a doctor should see my penis. The doctor said he had never seen such an amazing specimen of a dong, that was the first moment I saw pride in my mom's eyes. I cherish these memories, as the cock inspection was the pinnacle of any month for me, seeing all the other pathetic little weiners. I loved watching the other kids take quick glances of my cock in fear and shame.

A few years later when I was about 11 years old, my penis has started to become a burden for me. Having a 24.089 inch dick in 6th grade is no joke, I had to come up with creative ideas of where to hide the magnificent beast. Usually I hid it inside the right leg of my pants, kids always thought it was weird how my right leg was so "muscular" compared to my other, which meant I had to workout only my left leg in order to not arouse suspicion. I remember I went home depressed one day, crying to god on why did he curse me with such a shaft. I was tearing my pants with anger, when I started to feel tingly sensation in my penis. I started rubbing it, and suddenly it GREW EVEN LONGER, I was devestated because I thought it was already too large, but the feeling I had when I was rubbing it was too good to stop. I started holding it with both my hands and stroking it, but it was not enough, I could not satisfy my monster with mere hands, so I began using my feet too. The feeling was incredible, god was on my side again. As I was rubbing it faster and faster, I thought of my science teacher. My cock was throbbing, my nipples erect, my eyes wide and open. I was on my bed at the time, and I felt my Johnson about to erupt with tremendous force, I didn't know what to do so I hid under the bed, and then I came. It was like 4th of july. At first the stream was steady, of white cream in about 1 liter per second, then it was chaos. My penis was going up and down dancing with explosions of cum(Only later that day I found out my grandpa died at that moment of a heart attack because the sounds reminded him of bastogne when he was fighting the Germans). After a few second I realized I might drown because my juice covered the whole floor about two inch deep, I quickly slid across pools of cum gasping for air, I stood up and finally my cum gun started to relax. My mom came into the room shocked and disgusted, she yelled at me that I must see a doctor and get my manhood shortend or even removed. We had a fight for about three hours not noticing my grandpa was awfully quiet.

The day after my grandfather's funeral, I came to the doctor's office, and told him my story. After a lengthy cock inspection, he said that I have a rare condition, which makes my cock grow exponentially with each year, width and length. He calculated that my cock would weigh 200 kg when I turn 30, which is about the maximum weight my spine can support, beyond that and it would fracture and I'll die. I asked him if I could remove it, but he said no because I would die of blood loss. He also said I need to do blood transfusions everyday to feed my absolute unit of a scholng the blood it needs. Needless to say I was devestated, my once blessing, became a curse, again.

One day when I was 16, I was in my math class when I heard a terrible noise, it reminded me of the first time I was beating my meat, but it turns out it was just a gunshot. Kids all around me where shouting that there was a school shooter. I immediately got up and ran to the door, carrying my pack with my hands. Suddenly I heard shots very close to my ears, and saw dead bodies on the ground, so I ran into the closest door which was the janitor's room, closed the door and hid under the table making as little noise as possible. Little did I know, my crush was under the same table, hiding there in fear, when she saw me she almost screamed, but I put my hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet. I heard the shooter opening the door slowly and looking for me. I was completely silent, but then I noticed my crush's incredible bajongas, and I felt my cock starting to throb and expand. She seemed to notice, and I could see that she was impressed with my goofy goober. Her facial expression made my ding dong enlarge even more and I could feel my pants starting to tear apart. My shclong abong seemed to send electro-magnetic waves all over the room because the light above us started to flicker with every throb of my cock. The shooter noticed that and walked to our table. I knew I had to do something quickly or me, my crush, and my beaver basher would all die. Then it hit me, and I knew what I had to do. I looked over to my crush, and I started playing with her milkers. At first she was trying to resist, but then she figured out what I was trying to do and played along. My cock grew more and more, and when I felt it about to burst out of my pants. I got up and looked straight at the shooter. He hesitated for a single moment, which cost him his life. My pants exploded as my sexcalibur shot out a single hardened white cum shaped like a 7.62 mm sniper bullet right into the shooter's head. I was about to celebrate but then I noticed the smell of smoke in the air, turns out my massive cock shot not only the shooter, but also a gas pipe that was in the vicinity. Fire was all around us, as I held my crush close, I knew there was no way both of us would get out of there, so there was only one option. "Get in!" I said. "What?" She asked. "Get in! There is no time!" I said and pointed to my foreskin. She climbed inside the pocket between my foreskin and my cock. And I started running, breathing smoke and caughing, kicking doors and running through hallways, longing for fresh air. Finally I got out of the school, and I saw everyone looking at me and my dong. I slowly walked to the benches, and sat down to breath. Then I saw my crush's mother, and she asked me where her daughter is. I got up, and said "I know where she is!". I pulled my foreskin and there she was. I expected to hear claps and cheers, but when I didn't, I looked at my crush and saw she was dead. Turns out she suffocated inside my yogurt hose. The police arrested me, and here I am, with my massive schlong and 15 years in prison.

If your penis is small, do not despair, for at least you did not have to go through what I did. Farewell.
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1. I do my schoolwork lmfao
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1. I do my schoolwork lmfao, I work my job, I get ready constantly with my ACT, Im in cripling debt already with medical bills and I cant afford medical insurance. I cant really "work more" because the job I have makes 10x more than any physical job I can get while not having a highschool diploma, and it still cant pay my bills. I have severly abusive family all around me who are pshycopaths and basically hate me, and I dont really have good friends for support, on top of that I spent 2 years in my home from lockdown, due to horrible parrents who were afraid of covid 19 to the point that Ive gone insane and I cant fucking function properly because i lost 2 years of my life with no friends, no going outside, all forced on by my parents. I got out with no ID, no social security, and I pay rent with family who doesnt like me while i wake up at 6 am daily to do zoom school because a fucking hurricane wiped through my state and none of the schools can take more kids, most kids have to rotate because HALF THE FUCKING SCHOOLS IN MY STATE ARE WIPED OFF THE DAMN MAP If you want to vent, thats fine, but Im not going to be told that one of you doesnt have fucking time to claim a building i made for you guys
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Full-on “Caught in 4K”
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Caught in 64K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 64K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner TraneCaught in 64K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 64K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner TraneCaught in 64K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam.
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An epic comeback to "didn't ask" that I found in the wild
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Firstly Why are you responding to me like some 12-year old whose only source of entertainment is "Feminist gets rekt by ben Shapiro" videos. Secondly, no one cares if you "Didn't ask 🤓" people have zero obligation to listen to you or speak when spoken to. Lastly being an unlikeable person isn't gonna get you anywhere in life so humble yourself.

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Smartass
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Dear person whoever reads this
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Dear person whoever reads this, Hey, you, yes, I am talking right to you. I hope you will see yourself with the eyes I see one day, because I can tell you have some awesome music taste :) You’re such a beautiful human being and worth and enough. I hope you know that you do only need yourself to be happy, I know society build up the standard that whenever you’re alone you’re not living a happy live. But in fact that is not true, if you start to realize that you actually deserve all the good things happening to you, you will treat yourself a lot nicer. I hope you let yourself rest, don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes, over regret, and over everything your mind wants to destroy you. I wish I could remove all those demons inside of your head because you deserve to feel happy. If you ever feel lonely then watch the sky, because you know, someone, at the same time is watching the sky too, maybe feeling the same way..I am glad you exist and I hope you won’t ever remove your own spot in this world, maybe you don’t feel like you belong here but, Angel, then build your home here. I don’t want you to leave this world unhappy. I want you to live every little second, I want you to feel alive, I don’t want you to see yourself just existing. You deserve it. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault, the demons in your head recognize that you have a beautiful heart, they want to take it because they have never seen such beautiful heart as yours, so why let them win over you? . You’re not selfish for isolating yourself, but you deserve to talk to someone. If you’re reading this than please never forget to breath and smile. Don’t live up to other standards! It’s your story and not theirs. Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. I love you and send you hugs. You’re so strong, you’re still here, and I am proud of you. YOU ARE NOT USELESS. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE WORTH IT. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE LOVED. READ THAT AGAIN. I AM GLAD YOU EXIST. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM. YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT BEING DRAMATIC. You’re not a burden to anyone, don’t be afraid to talk, to use your voice. You’re beautiful inside out. Your body is beautiful the way it is. Please don’t starve yourself. Please eat, I know it’s hard but you deserve food. You deserve to eat and drink. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. READ THAT AGAIN. I WISH I COULD HUGH YOU RIGHT NOW, SO A VIRTUAL HUG WILL DO. It hurts me to see you’re in pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I love u I love u I love u I love u I love u please don’t go. I am sorry that no one is hearing you, I am sorry no one is noticing that you have lost yourself. I wish I could take your pain away, it hurts me to see the pain in your eyes. I love you trough my words and I mean it. I just want you to stay, hold on a little longer okay? Please? For me.?? I hope you have an awesome day/ morning/ evening/ night. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re stronger than you think, I know you will make it :) Now wipe those tears away and smile for me, you really don’t know much a smile can brighten someone’s day, do you? I hope one day yours will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every cent in this world. Remember crying is not weakness, let it out as much as you can but don’t let the emotion control you by giving up. It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe, you can let it out. Did anyone asked you, how you are feeling today? If not, how are you really? I don’t think you’re doing good, but you will feel good at one point. Don’t give yourself up. I am sorry you feel misunderstood. But anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). Enough with beating up yourself for today, okay?! - The stranger that cares about you more than anything. I hope this is enough for you to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. I hope you can stay. This is your sign to stay and treat yourself with love, you deserve it. And in case no one told you today, again, I am so proud of you. I hope you will remember my words :) Until tomorrow, my friend :)
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My penis
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Ever since I was a wee lad, I noticed my penis was a bit large. I thought it was normal, untill my mom bathed me with my brother and I saw his little wee wee compared to mine, I couldn't help but point at it and mock it. A few months later when I started kindergarden, the teacher inspected our cocks for the monthly cock inspection, and noticed my large dick. I was very young but I could still see he was very envyous of my humongous cock, knowing he will never be as big, he called my mom and told her a doctor should see my penis. The doctor said he had never seen such an amazing specimen of a dong, that was the first moment I saw pride in my mom's eyes. I cherish these memories, as the cock inspection was the pinnacle of any month for me, seeing all the other pathetic little weiners. I loved watching the other kids take quick glances of my cock in fear and shame.

A few years later when I was about 11 years old, my penis has started to become a burden for me. Having a 24.089 inch dick in 6th grade is no joke, I had to come up with creative ideas of where to hide the magnificent beast. Usually I hid it inside the right leg of my pants, kids always thought it was weird how my right leg was so "muscular" compared to my other, which meant I had to workout only my left leg in order to not arouse suspicion. I remember I went home depressed one day, crying to god on why did he curse me with such a shaft. I was tearing my pants with anger, when I started to feel tingly sensation in my penis. I started rubbing it, and suddenly it GREW EVEN LONGER, I was devestated because I thought it was already too large, but the feeling I had when I was rubbing it was too good to stop. I started holding it with both my hands and stroking it, but it was not enough, I could not satisfy my monster with mere hands, so I began using my feet too. The feeling was incredible, god was on my side again. As I was rubbing it faster and faster, I thought of my science teacher. My cock was throbbing, my nipples erect, my eyes wide and open. I was on my bed at the time, and I felt my Johnson about to erupt with tremendous force, I didn't know what to do so I hid under the bed, and then I came. It was like 4th of july. At first the stream was steady, of white cream in about 1 liter per second, then it was chaos. My penis was going up and down dancing with explosions of cum(Only later that day I found out my grandpa died at that moment of a heart attack because the sounds reminded him of bastogne when he was fighting the Germans). After a few second I realized I might drown because my juice covered the whole floor about two inch deep, I quickly slid across pools of cum gasping for air, I stood up and finally my cum gun started to relax. My mom came into the room shocked and disgusted, she yelled at me that I must see a doctor and get my manhood shortend or even removed. We had a fight for about three hours not noticing my grandpa was awfully quiet.

The day after my grandfather's funeral, I came to the doctor's office, and told him my story. After a lengthy cock inspection, he said that I have a rare condition, which makes my cock grow exponentially with each year, width and length. He calculated that my cock would weigh 200 kg when I turn 30, which is about the maximum weight my spine can support, beyond that and it would fracture and I'll die. I asked him if I could remove it, but he said no because I would die of blood loss. He also said I need to do blood transfusions everyday to feed my absolute unit of a scholng the blood it needs. Needless to say I was devestated, my once blessing, became a curse, again.

One day when I was 16, I was in my math class when I heard a terrible noise, it reminded me of the first time I was beating my meat, but it turns out it was just a gunshot. Kids all around me where shouting that there was a school shooter. I immediately got up and ran to the door, carrying my pack with my hands. Suddenly I heard shots very close to my ears, and saw dead bodies on the ground, so I ran into the closest door which was the janitor's room, closed the door and hid under the table making as little noise as possible. Little did I know, my crush was under the same table, hiding there in fear, when she saw me she almost screamed, but I put my hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet. I heard the shooter opening the door slowly and looking for me. I was completely silent, but then I noticed my crush's incredible bajongas, and I felt my cock starting to throb and expand. She seemed to notice, and I could see that she was impressed with my goofy goober. Her facial expression made my ding dong enlarge even more and I could feel my pants starting to tear apart. My shclong abong seemed to send electro-magnetic waves all over the room because the light above us started to flicker with every throb of my cock. The shooter noticed that and walked to our table. I knew I had to do something quickly or me, my crush, and my beaver basher would all die. Then it hit me, and I knew what I had to do. I looked over to my crush, and I started playing with her milkers. At first she was trying to resist, but then she figured out what I was trying to do and played along. My cock grew more and more, and when I felt it about to burst out of my pants. I got up and looked straight at the shooter. He hesitated for a single moment, which cost him his life. My pants exploded as my sexcalibur shot out a single hardened white cum shaped like a 7.62 mm sniper bullet right into the shooter's head. I was about to celebrate but then I noticed the smell of smoke in the air, turns out my massive cock shot not only the shooter, but also a gas pipe that was in the vicinity. Fire was all around us, as I held my crush close, I knew there was no way both of us would get out of there, so there was only one option. "Get in!" I said. "What?" She asked. "Get in! There is no time!" I said and pointed to my foreskin. She climbed inside the pocket between my foreskin and my cock. And I started running, breathing smoke and caughing, kicking doors and running through hallways, longing for fresh air. Finally I got out of the school, and I saw everyone looking at me and my dong. I slowly walked to the benches, and sat down to breath. Then I saw my crush's mother, and she asked me where her daughter is. I got up, and said "I know where she is!". I pulled my foreskin and there she was. I expected to hear claps and cheers, but when I didn't, I looked at my crush and saw she was dead. Turns out she suffocated inside my yogurt hose. The police arrested me, and here I am, with my massive schlong and 15 years in prison.

If your penis is small, do not despair, for at least you did not have to go through what I did. Farewell.
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