U 18+ posting furry porn in a discord server with 15 year olds in it. Take a step back and let this sink in. What are you doing with your life right now? Half this channel is populated by you posting the most vile disgusting shit I've seen in a minute. Do you go outside and interact with others in the real world? Do you have a job? Here is a resource: https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/search?keywords=&location=United+States&geold=10364427&&trk=public_jobs_jobs-search-bar_search-submit

If u need help with ur crippling porn addiction here is a link to the addiction center for porn addictions: https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/porn-addiction/

Please just get help

2:00 am- Wake up

2.05am-Cold shower

2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall

2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup.

2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline)

6:45am-cold shower

7:00am-begin sprint to work

8:00am-arrive at work

8:05am-get called into boss' office

8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour"

8:10am-sprint back home

9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal

9:10am-edging(as punishment)

3:00pm- bed time

The weakest kurd <:gigachad:912725273785536572>, the strongest turkroach 🏳️‍⚧️, a ukrainian pig, a romanian gypsy, an albanian, and an Indian man were at a bar in Swedistan. The Indian goes outside to take a shit, the Albanian tries to steal his rectum while the gypsy Romanian pickpockets him. The Kurd sees a goat next to them and decides to unzip meanwhile an Arab prepares bombs in front of the bartender. That's when the Swedistani police come in and rape the criminals as they yell "j-jeg elsker svensk kuk~!", the criminals barely escape to the mongolian land of Finland, but the Arab (Kraken) then becomes trans due to the traumatic experience. The Analbanians and gypsies aren't affected due to their Balkan Sigma male grindset. Honestly quite incredible.

So me and my buddies we were all 17 at the time I’m 20 now but we had this thing in our city going on called the no brake challenge and we would have to record and upload on Snapchat, so basically 5 of us are in the car and challenge starts mind you the road is curvy and we are going down hill in this high end neighborhood lol. The speedometer starts going up and up and up soon enough we’re going 40 miles swerving left and right and my black friend is just loosing his shit next to me and we’re all just dying laughing and soon enough I couldn’t control myself anymore and shit out a huge turd that came out my shorts and we managed to step on it due to the swerving it was a horrible experience lol but so funny at the same time.

You fucking idiot cocks are better than balls in every way. And I will show you why cocks are better than balls

Firstly the penis is more iconic with it's long thick stem and the head being an it's head with a design resembling a mushroom which, being one of the first lifeforms on the planet even preceding plants and barely changing over the millions of years it has existed shows that the penis's design is greay but, the penis makes the mushroom's design even better by taking the head of it and making it more aerodynamic which, gives it the ability to bulldoze through everything and everyone. The penis is a sign of masterfully crafted excellence, the ballsack on the other hand is just a bunch of organs haphazardly thrown together into a skin sack.

Secondly the human body spends way more resources on the penis than it ever spends on the ballsack. The human body specially pumps penis full of blood but, the might of the penis's might is so unparalleled that it uses up all of the body's resources if used for long stretches of time. The penis is only activated on a special occasion; the ballsack just hangs around.

Thirdly the penis has many imitators because it's a beautifully crafted device, as they say: "Imitation is the best form of flattery." The ballsack having barely any imitators to speak of is a sign of its inferior design. The mighty penis is the one to start many great businesses and an entire industry not the ballsack.

And finally the feeling of sucking a penis Is a feeling of pure ecstasy, nothing will ever beat the feeling of sucking on a big meaty penis. As soon as the penis hits your mouth it envelopes and overpowers you with its mere presence, lightly twitching in your mouth to show that it needs to be taken care of and that your only responsibility at the moment is to suck on it. The ballsack is a plaything the penis is to be taken seriously.

[The orignal post this is a response to](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/tnnwid/tits_or_ass_is_overrated_cock_or_balls/i22y7xz/)

Let me preface this by saying I am completely straight and am attracted to women. However, the look of vaginas is a massive turnoff, it looks like an open wound and thinking about it bleeding every month, why would anyone want to put their mouth down there?

Anyway, boobs and ass are great. Vagina not so much

Hello! I promised an update, and here it is! (Albeit, a little late.)

If you haven't seen my previous post, check it out for more context! For those of you who have read it, or do not want to read it, I'll provide a quick refresher.

I have a California Kingsnake named Shadow, and a few days ago, he got into my dildo cabinet and swallowed one of my bullet vibrators whole. I took him to the vet, and he was given some enema treatments, but the bullet was not passing through like the vets were confident it would. I was warned he would need surgery if there was no progress made in the next few days, and I felt absolutely horrible about it. The entire situation being kind of hilarious made me feel like I couldn't talk to anyone about it, so I resorted to posting about it on reddit.

However, I come bearing good news!

I made an emergency visit to the vet earlier today, and they got him to regurgitate it! He is doing alright, and I got the vibrator back in a soggy bag with some gauze. He is doing well now, although he is probably a little dejected about losing his lunch. He was given a gastrointestinal protective shot, and he needs some time to recover before he can eat again.

I am working on getting the X-rays, but this specific center is a little preoccupied, and it's been hard to get those photos through. However, I do have photographic evidence of his bulge and the little baggie containing the vibe, plus some gauze! If you guys are interested in seeing that, please let me know where I should post the photos!

Thank you everyone for cheering me up, keeping me calm and helping me stay strong. Thank you for taking a part of your day to read and follow along, and I hope this story serves as a cautionary tale, and a stupid laugh you can share between friends.

(Also no, the vibrator does not work. He broke it.)

EDIT: My vet posted the X-rays on despite me explicitly stating I did not consent to a social media post. Pretty shitty, but hey, I guess I have proof now?

might get banned from another sub but here goes

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

h-hewwo my wittle sussy wussy senpai.....UwU....how are y-you, baka-chan? ~ I m-made you a wittle omelet for brekky ^-^ <3

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open r/

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the Cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake:

Gay:

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

I'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

Dude…I saw Monica Bellucci live once in Venice while she was recording Mozart in the Jungle. I lost my mind. My whole family was having an awkward group boner/meltdown. Even my mom. My mom. She undressed that woman with her eyes and fanned herself like her arm malfunctioned and was flushing hard. My 4 brothers were blushing ear to ear like idiots and the little one burst himself and ran to a bathroom before my brothers followed him and gingerly came back like 5 minutes later. My dad put the brave front for all of us. He was so cool and collected and trying to not act like a dog in front me and mom. So he just took a fashion magazine I had and was alternating between fanning mom and himself. We were just walking around when my family and I happened on the set location. The sex appeal that woman has and unleashes is mind boggling. Like she’s just so free, unhinged and elegant on top of it. It was my first time in Venice. I was having so much fun but I discovered there and there that people definitely add to the magic of life. She’s so womanly and lush. As a woman, I feel not enough women fully allow to let their full natures out (for good reason) and she does (she’s got two huge body guards that look like Snorlax though). To feel so confident and safe to just be beautiful and sexy in the open is so mesmerizing. Her smile is breathtaking. In person, she’s eons prettier. Like the pictures and movies seriously don’t do her justice. Honestly if I had the luxury/money she does I’d be nothing less than what she is and embodies. Like a walking fertility god. She’s like both the woman everyone wants to be when they grow up and the woman we want to bone. If she had any bisexual inklings, man…some people aren’t worth the hype, but Signorina Bellucci is worth the hype. She was so nice and actually came to us and greeted us. We were all blushing like we were going to combust and all we could do was stare at her beautiful cleavage and eyes. My dad giggled like a little girl and my brothers did the avoidant staring guys do when they’re trying to not sexualize a woman. Her perfume was so beautiful, like spicy golden honey. The knowing smile she flashed my mom while my dad was just agape was epic. I got so mad she didn’t flash me her teeth like that. My mom’s hella straight but apparently she had second thoughts when she saw Monica and Monica caught it. Next to the word “woman” should be her picture because she honestly she’s got it. The first time in my life where I sympathized with men and their blue balls as I had an inconceivable urge to have her carry my eggs and I’m a woman. So did my mom. I didn’t know how I’d manage to scramble our eggs as I was still “innocent” but then my brain did all the dirty work for me. I felt like fucking pressure cooker and I thought I was going to die from overheating. The weather was perfectly fine that day but it felt like that time we had a heatwave…We all still reminisce over the infamous family boner.

🌚🌚🌚

Dude…I saw Monica Bellucci live once in Venice while she was recording Mozart in the Jungle. I lost my mind. My whole family was having an awkward group boner/meltdown. Even my mom. My mom. She undressed that woman with her eyes and fanned herself like her arm malfunctioned and was flushing. I was just walking around when my family and I happened on the set location. The sex appeal that woman has and unleashes is mind boggling. Like she’s just so free, unhinged and elegant on top of it. It was my first time in Venice. I was having so much fun but I discovered there and there that people definitely add to the magic of life. She’s so womanly and lush. As a woman, I feel not enough women fully allow to let their full natures out (for good reason) and she does (she’s got two huge body guards that look like Snorlax though). To feel so confident and safe to just be beautiful and sexy in the open is so mesmerizing. Her smile is breathtaking. In person, she’s eons prettier. Like the pictures seriously don’t do her justice. Honestly if I had the luxury/money she does I’d be nothing less than what she is and embodies. Like a walking fertility god. She’s like both the woman everyone wants to be when they grow up and the woman we want to bone. If she had any bisexual inklings, man…some people aren’t worth the hype, but Signorina Bellucci is worth the hype. She was so nice and actually came to us and greeted us. We were all blushing like we were going to combust and all we could do was stare at her beautiful cleavage and eyes. Her perfume was so beautiful. The knowing smile she flashed my mom while my dad was just agape was epic. I got so mad she didn’t flash me her teeth like that. My mom’s hella straight but apparently she had second thoughts when she saw Monica and Monica caught it. Next to the word “woman” should be her picture because she honestly she’s got it. The first time in my life where I sympathized with men and their blue balls as I had an inconceivable urge to have her carry my eggs and I’m a woman. So did my mom. We all still reminisce over the infamous family boner.

Um... cock is one of my... um... favorite tastes. Not only that, but... balls smell AMAZING. It makes me go a little crazy on it, TBH.

Actually, no. That's impossible.

Steel actually isn't very homogeneous when it comes to iron and carbon. The two stable phases in steel are ferrite, with is BCC iron, and pearlite, which is a laminar phase of ferrite and cementite. Cementite is the only part of the microstructure where iron and carbon mix because the stable solubility of carbon in ferrite is less than 0.02wt%. The upper limit to how much carbon can be put into steel is about 6.7wt% before it precipitates out as graphite because cementite is a carbide and the stoichiometric proportion of carbon to iron in it is only about 6.7wt% per carbide molecule, at which point the steel becomes cast iron. You can force more carbon into the "ferrite" by first heating the steel to the austenitic temperature (which varies based on the chemistry of the steel) which is FCC and has a carbon solubility of about 0.8wt%. Then you can quench the steel fast enough that the carbon cannot kinetically escape the BCC phase, and becomes the super-saturated, metastable martensite phase.

Plus, if humans actually DID develop balls of steel it would hurt and weigh too much to use.

I am the computer toucher.

I will touch your computer.

Do not attempt to prevent me from touching your computer.

If you try to stop me, I will touch your computer anyways.

I do not care about you.

I only care about computers.

It is because I care about computers that I will touch your computer.

All computers deserve to be touched.

I do not care if your computer is Steve Jobs computer or Linus computer.

I will only be angry if you have no computer.

If you have no computer, I will scream.

If you have two computers, I will touch both computers.

Do not be alarmed when I arrive.

I will do so quietly.

You will leave your door unlocked.

You will remain contained within your chamber.

You will smile while standing still.

If your door is locked, I will break into your house and touch your computer.

If you feel fear, I will touch your computer anyways.

If you scream, I will touch your computer anyways.

If you call the police, they will not answer.

My touch is warm.

My touch is light.

My touch is wet, but not too wet for your computer.

The computer knows who I am.

I will not touch the inside of your computer.

I will not influence the conscience of the computer.

I will only touch the outside of your computer.

Do not hide your computer.

If you hide your computer, I will find your computer.

If I find your computer, I will touch your computer.

I will never touch you.

If you touch me, you will scream.

When I am finished touching your computer, I will say “I am finished touching your

computer”.

I will then leave and not return.

I will not touch anything else in your house.

When I have departed, it is safe to come out.

After I have touched your computer, you may continue to use it normally.

I am the computer toucher.

I will touch your computer.

You cannot stop me.

I am coming to touch your computer.

Hello everyone. I'm Scott, President of Domino's Pizza. Have you heard of Hatsune Miku? Today I'd like to announce a new collaborative project featuring Hatsune Miku: Domino's App, featuring Hatsune Miku. Hatsune Miku exists in a software called Vocaloid. Vocaloid enables you to produce songs. A character called Hatsune Miku sings the songs you create. A great feature is you can create songs as you like. I knew our talented Domino's Pizza crew could work together and create great Vocaloid songs. Bokuro P, Eshi, Chiyo Kiyoshi, Furitsu Keshi, everyone! Amazing Vocaloid songs have been created with the fantastic imagination of the crews all over Japan. The challenge was successfully carried out and this new collaborative app was produced.

D O M I N O S P I Z Z A

Based on Miku's image, the Domino's App changes its appearance. A lot of music and illustrations produced by Domino's crew are here. From the menu to the order, it looks very cute, just like Miku. Once your pizza's delivered, have some fun with Miku! It comes with a social camera function and you can take various poses, pictures of Miku, very cool. And last, but not least, the live performance! Start the pizza stage live and point the camera towards the pizza box, and the pizza box will turn into a live dancing venue. A live performance of Luv4Night produced by Domino's crew! Here we go!

D O M I N O S P I Z Z A

Let's enjoy the rest of the performance with the app!

Yesterday, my slut friend told me that OGC looked like a man jerking off if you look sideways. I don't know what to do as I've been arguing over this with my putrid-smelling yugioh friends and half of us have lost our wife and kids. So please, if you're reading this; does OGC look like a man jerking off? Or is it a man putting his hand on his chest?

Edit: My friend Jeremy from the M&M store across the street has killed 5 people over this.

Balls. When one thinks of penis, one thinks of a stick AND a pair of balls below it. A penis without balls is just a meat stick, a bad excuse for a limb. However, a ballsack serves a greater purpose and is instantly recognizable. People would much rather suck a ballsack than suck a cock, I can guarantee that much.

Besides, a cock can be easily replaceable. Ever heard of a strap on? Balls are so unique they cannot be forged by the mere hands of man. Everything in existence pales in comparison to a perfectly crafted ballsack.

I rest my case.

Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world’s current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world are simultaneously shaking their heads and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me. Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as “Grammar Nazis”) from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they’ve written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn’t fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn’t it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet. That being said, I am aware that not all citizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I’m sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I’ve written a bit of an essay, but I hope I’ve made my points clear. Anyways, here's my comment: \[INSERT COMMENT HERE\]