It over is a pretty normal day at university and a conversation came up about our parents. A friend of mine, “Jenny” shows us a picture of her father so I pull up Facebook images of my mother and father. A friend of mine saw my father and said I looked just like him but when he saw my mother the color in his face drained.

“Chad” watched me scroll down my picture of my mon then asked about my siblings. He described them in detail, PERFECT DETAIL!!! He then said to me, “Lilly, I think I fucked your mom.” I laughed of course, Chad has a reputation and I figured it was a joke until he described my siblings, my mothers home, the neighborhood and ect.

I felt horror. Sheer horror. He looked at me, and I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I looked at him! Just a few days ago he was flirting with me and what not! And now I find out, he’s a motherfucker! Literally a motherfucker!

TLDR; college friend fucked by mom, described her and my family in detail, and had been trying to put the moves on my days prior without realizing I was her daughter. MOTHERFUCKER!

Edit: To clarify some more things, apparently he found her through a hook up ad. She had someone watching my siblings while she took him to the bone zone… so the bed I’ve sat on has mom and Chad juices on them. He asked me to call him daddy now. I feel homicidal.

Guys, 👱‍♂️💂‍♂️ did 💦 you 🤟 know 🙎🤔 that 🚫😟 tommy might 💪 be 🐝🏿 kicked 👞 from the dream 💭 smp? He 👈😩 broke 🚫💰 a rule 🚷 and there’s been 😡 a lot 🤯 of drama about 💦 it, if you 👉 wish 🙏 to know 💭 more ✋✋ search 🔍 up 👅😋 tommyinnit rule 🚷 34 dream smp

when I was in elementary school i told my teacher to play the gummy bear music video in front of the class because we had free time. i forgot abt the part where gummibar shook his ass so she sent me out in the hall and I cried so hard that i shit myself

\#dream-porn😫😍

\#🐲dragons-fucking-cars🚗

\#🐻fnaf-nsfw🐥

\#📺among-us-porn📺

\#roblox-porn😍

honorable mention: #🐶talking-ben-r34🐶

This story takes place when I was on my vacation in Thailand a few years ago, and someone 'forbidden' is a prostitute which to me, as a man of honor at that time, seemed distasteful. Anyways, here goes.


I had heard of the infamous redlight district in Bangkok and wanted to get a closer view of it for myself, at no point in time on my way to the redlight district in bangkok did I expect myself to pick up a prostitute, there was no way I would have wanted to and that just wasn't me, I had originally just planned just to look around and maybe go to a few shops there (just so I could brag to my friends that I had been to the infamous redlight district of Bangkok)


Anyways... when I was walking around I kept seeing numerous prostitutes and initially I thought to myself, "Damn, this is just weird..." but some of them were kind of pretty. Soon I started getting kind of turned on by the thought of paying one of these beautiful young girls for sex.


I finally decided that I wanted to do it, I flagged one of the more beautiful looking streetwalkers down and asked her how much she wanted to charge for sex, to my dismay, she did not speak any English so I went on my way (on the prowl) looking for another prosititute.


A few minutes later I spotted another one and this one was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen in Thailand so far, I'm guessing when people think about prostitutes in the redlight district of bangkok, THIS is who they think of.


I flagged her down as well and I was very elated to find that she did speak English, very well in fact. I asked her how much it was for her "services" and she replied to me "I decide after the sex, but I promise it won't be more than 500 dollars" I almost reconsidered because 500 dollars was a lot of money for me at the time, but I ended up taking the deal. Apparently she was pretty high end for a streetwalker and we ended up going to my hotel in a completely different area of bangkok.


So, we go up to my hotel room and have the best sex I have ever had in my life, it was absolutely phenomenal. (Phenom Anal)


After the amazing sex we layed in my bed together and did something I thought prostitutes don't normally do, we cuddled, hugged, and kissed, I finally got around to asking her what the bill was and she said it was free.
"Free? Was I really that good?" I asked her and she laughed, she said yes, I was the best client she'd ever had.


She looked me in the eye and said "But I need one little thing..." and I honestly thought she wanted another round of sex.. so I eagerly replied "What do you need?" She replied "I need about tree fiddy"


Now it was around this time that I realized this prostitute was actually 7 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. Goddamnit! That Loch Ness monster had tricked me again!
I yelled at her as she swam away, never to be seen again.

I mean my first time was awful. Like I didn’t want to do it with my gf, but she would like pounce on me and start shoving her tongue in my mouth and grabbing me and shit, and I mean I would get turned on of course and go with it. Then she would like climb on top and start grinding on me and stuff and be like do you wanna fuck and I was just like “umm not yet” because I was not ready for it yet. Then she would immediately get off and just sit there and cry and yell at me for being shitty. After like 5 times of that happening I eventually said yes even tho I didn’t want to still and it was BAD. It was in my tiny ass car, and she couldn’t even get me off. So trust me I know all about bad experiences. It wasn’t until I got with someone else that I had a good experience. And honestly the person I was with after her was also a bad experience. I mean that just happens sometimes. You just gotta be open to accepting the good ones make up for that bad ones and be careful about who you try it with

There was sugar free gummy bears that made my ass sound like a warzone one time. I swear I dropped the biggest bomb possible in the walmart. If it were lethal, the Walmart would have died in less then a second. Not only was there shit in the toilet, but it was over all of my clothes and somehow on the damn roof.

if a horse went to drink ice, if a horse went to drink coffee, how will he drink the coffee? he has 4 legs. think about it this way, right, a horse is like this, if he's gonna wear pants it would be like this, cause those are his legs right but if he had fucking four legs then the horse will be four pants wide, which makes no sense, which argues my point. you guys are stupid. okay so if i took a baby, right, and i teach him to walk with his arms does it mean his arms become legs? no. it doesn't. he still 2 arms 2 legs. im actually convinced that horses don't have legs. you guys know cats right? exacly, think about it this way, it just proves my point. think about it. you know how this is a cat, right? this is a cat. if the cat's hungry, it's like "oh i wanna eat" y'know, food, right, the cat uses his arms to grab it because he has ARMS. if the arms and the legs were the same, which they aren't, then people will use the legs to grab things, but they dont. "okay so the monkeys and gorillas just have four arms then" hmm. interesting- interesting take. you're right, gorillas do have four arms.

There 🎆🎆 ey 😡 was a sexy 😉 portuguese man. 🦸🏾‍♂️ He 👥 had ✊ big ⬛ dick 💋 and net 🥅 worth. 💸🌐 He 📷 lived on 🥜 lisbon twin 🏾 tower 🏰 penthouse. One 1️⃣ day 🌞 a very 😽 sexy 😇 woman 🤹‍♀ got 💰 to his 🚵🏾 house, 🐕 and said 😁 for 👻 him 📞😤 to have 🈶 a sexy 👠👄😏 battle 💥💀 with her. 😅👸 The winner 🎉🏅🎽 fucked 😩😩 the loser(this was obvious attempt 🙋 for 👏🎁 her 😡👸 to fuck 👉 him 👨 They 🏽 played 🎮 for 💼 4 🏾 months. 🈷️ And he 👨 fucked 😩😩 her. 🏻 Then 🏿🙈 he 👨 wanted 😍 to sleep 💤 with her 👩 one 1️⃣ more ➕ time, 🕔 because 🤔 she 👧 kept 🔄🔥 on 🔛👑 teasing him 👴 that ☑️ she 👩 will 🌽 come 💃 back 🔙 and fuck 👉 him. 👴 He 📷 said: 🤐 "i 👥 am 👄 too 😭😍 tired. 😴 i 🐙 have 🈶 small 🤪 but 🏾 big 🙌 penis, 🎄 and it needs 🙏🏼 rest" 😪 She 😍 then 💯 said: 🗣️ "hmm 🤔 well 😃 maybe 🤷‍♀️ this time 🕠 i 👈 will 👏💰 take 👊 the big ⬆️🚴🏻↪️ one." 🔂 And fucked 👉👌 him 😥 for 🐻 one 😫 month. 🈷️🈷️ This is funny 😃❓ story. 🔦 If i 😣 was a boss 😏 of him, 👴 i 🔥 will 🐼 fire 🔥 him. 👴 Or compensate him 👴 for 🔍🙋 losing 🥉 all 🙌 that 🏻👉 sex. 🥴 Because 🤔 she 😡👁️😷 was my 👈 wife. 👩 Dont 🙅🙈 worry, 🚫 i 🤙 fired 💥🔥 them 😲 both. 💡 Sure 🤖 enough 👺 after, 👀 they 👨‍🦳❤️ begged me 🥰 for 🤔🎅 money, 💶 and both 🌜 offered 💸 me 👉🙋‍♂️ their 😴 ass. 👯 I 😀 denied. I 😀 am 💨 now ❔ the richest man 👱 of portugal, 🇵🇹 and they 💁 live 🐙 in 👉 the street next 4️⃣ to my ✨ huge 👀 building 👷🚧 house 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ in 🙌🏻 parque das nações. Moral 👿😇 da 🐙 história: "Os 🚣 ricos são riqueiros pela faculdade que 🙄 tem de 😋 passar!Os riqueiros mas 👀👉👌 sem mais nada.O problema das ricas é que 🙄 nada possuem".

The Hog Rider is a fast ground troop with medium hit points, low damage, and the ability to jump over enemy Walls. He is unlocked at level 2 Dark Barracks. The Hog Rider (person) is a bare-chested dark-skinned man holding a hammer. He has a Mohawk, wears a brown leather loincloth, a red belt, and a pair of leather sandals, as well as two large golden wristbands and a gold earring. His ride is a large hog, about half his height. It has a brown leather bridle looped around its tusks, which in turn is held by the Hog Rider. Hog Riders prioritize defensive structures above all other targets, and will bypass all other types of enemy buildings and troops while any defenses remain on the battlefield. This is true even if they are under attack by enemy Clan Castle troops, heroes or Skeleton Trap skeletons. Note that like all troops that prioritize defenses, Hog Riders do not consider the Clan Castle to be a defense regardless of whether or not it contains enemy troops, but do consider the defending Grand Warden and the activated Town Hall weapon (if any) to be defensive buildings. Once all defenses are destroyed, Hog Riders become like any other troop with no preferred target; they will attack the nearest building to them regardless of type, and will turn and attack enemy units if they become aware of any nearby.

The Final Fap

This story is about a boy who takes off his pants. He then opens his laptop, goes into incognito mode and searches HOT BUSTY INDIAN GRILS BIG BOOTY XXX IRANIAN PRINCESS. He clicks the first link, and then proceeds to fap his mind out, until his flesh flute was out of population pudding. He looks around the room. Didn't the walls used to be blue? They are white now. He questions his life choices. His mom then walks into the room and silently observes all the dead children around her, she shits her pants. She finally collects herself, and picks up her son's dorito dust stained shirt, and cum covered shorts to clean them. Then the dad walks in, proud of his sons achievements, he began to pat him on the dick, but he hit a bit too hard. The boy's erect cock begins to slip off his body, ripping pubic hair from his pores. The fap that turned a young, horny boy, into a horny girl.

Imagine is a character called Arab man can be in Super Smash Bros Ultimate and his Final Smash is chocking the opposition with his scarfs. LOL

It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.

Because you added the F which stands for “fucking”. If you had only said “LMAO”, otherwise known as “Laughing my ass off”, it would not have been conveyed with as much intensity.

Due to the addition of the F, it introduced more emotion to the statement. Therefore the audience was more moved and felt compelled to award more upvotes than you otherwise may have earned with just a “LMAO”.

I understand why you may not have understood this, but I commend you for your bravery to ask such a thought provoking question. It is important we all ask these questions to have a better understanding and appreciation of the people around us and the ones we love.

Have you ever seen Wendy? That's right. I'm talking about Wendy from the burger chain. Wendy. You know, Wendy with those pigtails and a trace.

Her red hair, her freckles. She isolated related perfection. Every time I drive by a Wendy's restaurant, I get a near Pant splitting erection and I think about a little Wendy in a Victoria outfit. So the other day I was driving home with my wife and my daughter in the car and we drove past a Wendy's restaurant. We drove past the Wendy's and I could barely contain myself, so I decided to bite the bullet.

I drove to the Wendy's next to my work. I pulled up at the drive-thru window. I didn't know what to order, so I figured a chicken sandwich sounded good. The lady at the counter, she handed me a white paper bag and smiled at me. I winked at her and I pulled from the white bag a Wendy's chicken sandwich, and I said, Miss, do you know what's about to happen?

And she said, no. And then I jammed my car right inside of it and I started fucking it and the girl screamed and slammed the window shut. But I was too entrenched by my sandwich. The pickle tickled my French lump as the tomato played across my ball sack. I made love to that sandwich as if I were making love to Wendy herself.

It was a different kind of mayonnaise. Before the police could arrive, I drove off. The burger was still on my penis while I was driving home, so every time there was a speed bump it felt like I was thrusting into Windy. I pulled into my driveway and I waddled inside, holding the bag in front of my groin so my wife and daughter wouldn't see. I crept into my office really quietly, not to get caught.

So I went to my computer and I looked up Wendy Rule 34, and what I saw was incredible. She has red hair with her legs up, and she's sitting on the bed wearing a Victorian style dress with loafers and she's getting penetrated. I tore off my underwear and went to town. I pulled out my strongest and started him hauling my Wii wiggler. So I'm sitting here got my penis in a bun, and I'm slapping that boy playing with it nibba.

I shot the fattest load of my life. It looked like ketchup at night. All I did was look at Wendy Hentai and dreamed of a chilly pouring down my ball sack. I have done nothing but masturbate to Wendy for the last several days. Wendy has consumed my mind, my life, my soul.

Next time you're hungry for Wendy's, I implore you order a small chili. Give the manager my regards, print out hentai of Wendy, and tape it to the stall in the Wendy's restroom.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING MEUS REFRENCE??!!!⁉️‼️❓❗️MEUS IS THE BEST FUCKING SUB 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯 WALLACE IS SO BASEDDD 😳😳😳😳😳 WHY ARE THE SENATORS INACTIVE 😡😡😡😡😡 OH YOU ARE PRESIDENT? NAME EVERY TERRORIST ATTACK 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 PEWDS IS THE WORST FUCKING VEEP🤬🤬😡😡😠 Arc 2020🗿arc 2020 🗿 arc 2020🗿 arc 2020🗿 arc 2020🗿 arc 2020🗿 arc 2020🗿 arc 2020🗿 JAKO SHY BY THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE 😊😊😊😊😊 BORED IS A COMMIE 🛠 BORED IS A COMMIE 🛠 BORED IS A COMMIE 🛠 BORED IS A COMMIE 🛠(real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN (real)JOELIEBERMAN 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 🔫ARC KILLED DAV 🔫 TYPICAL IS A RINO 😠 TYPICAL IS A RINO 😠 TYPICAL IS A RINO 😠 TYPICAL IS A RINO 😠 JOIN CULT OF MOD 😇 JOIN CULT OF MOD 😇 JOIN CULT OF MOD 😇 JOIN CULT OF MOD 😇 ARTIC WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FAKE BALLOTS ⁉ ARTIC WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FAKE BALLOTS ⁉ ARTIC WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FAKE BALLOTS ⁉ [r/Mockelectionsus](https://www.reddit.com/r/Mockelectionsus) [r/Monkeelectionsus](https://www.reddit.com/r/Monkeelectionsus) [r/NoSexInMEUS](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoSexInMEUS)

I'M DELETING YOU, DADDY!

██\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 10% complete....

████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 35% complete...

███████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 60% complete....

███████████\] 99% complete.....

ERROR! True Daddies are irreplaceable I could never delete you Daddy! Send this to ten other Daddies who give you cummies Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 3 back: you're squishy ☁️ 5 back: you're Daddy's kitten 10+ back: Daddy

Haha, the [clash Royale king] from family guy, you are banging- Jonathan! Donald trump: hello Peter, welcome to fortnite.
The clash Royale king tenderly blushes and rubs against Donalt Peter griffin. Now that’s what I call an epic Chungus victory Royale! 696969 points!1!!!1!11!1691!1 I’m hacking into the matrix now to tell the true story of Romeo and july july. Matrix neo from forbite? Oh no! The clash Royale princess is about to escape!!! Can you solve this level? 99% of people fail and CANT pass this level because they fail due to not being able to pass this level because of their failure of being able to pass it (the level( the one that 99% of people fail))! Joee Biden want up. Mind eleven 2001. Among us in real life sus sus playing among us in real life JARVIS, look up FURRY INFLATION on google.com (https://google.www.com}
Wake up wake up wake up you are dreaming! That’s radical dude real lit honestly fire fire turn up up! Sus?!1 bye!!!!

Just me and my 💕daddy💕, hanging out I got pretty hungry🍆 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💦cummies!💦 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I drink them!💦 I slurp them!💦 I swallow them whole💦 😍 It makes 💘daddy💘 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 😫💦💕 1 cummy💦, 2 cummy💦💦, 3 cummy💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💘daddy's💘 👑princess 👑but I'm also a whore! 💟 He makes me feel squishy💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a little girl should!\~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑

All of them. Every single one of them.


I started at the bottom. The janitor, first. He wouldn't let me get in the building, so I had no choice. I did my deed and progressed through the building. A distinct sour taste was left in my mouth, a taste I would soon be very used to.

After that it was an easy task. I went from desk to desk, office to office, employee to employee and dick to dick. It was simply a breeze. But there was a problem. After a while, I realised I was taking too long for each orgasm. If I wanted to get the game on time, I had to hurry up, I had to move on... or else all my sweet karma would be gone.

I manage to optimise the sucking by saving .3 seconds on taking off the trousers and 2.1 seconds (!) by sucking with my teeth. I managed to get to the CEO's desk just in time, with 10mn to spare.

And then.

There he was.

MIYAMOTO.


I jumped and lowered his trousers, knowing I was going to have to make it count. He told me "You suck... YOU SUCK!!" while I was trying to just get him off. I percieved in his voice a hint of pleasure, and then... I knew I had won. I shouted "DAMN RIGHT I DO" and I SPEEDRAN HIS COCK. SO FAST. LESS THAN A MINUTE LATER HE CAME AND I KNEW THAT THEN. I HAD DONE IT.

I HAD GOTTEN A GAME A DAY EARLY.