Ok so I’m not gay, but I’m Swedish and have a fantasy where Germany win world war two and Sweden needs to export aryan twink boipussy slaves to high ranking SS officers for pleasure. I imagine I’m a shy little blonde twink with smooth pale skin and being brought into komedant heinrichs bedroom to give him pleasure. He is a tall broad shoulders kraut with a jawline that could cut a diamond and with massive daddy muscles and I’m a pathetic skinny little boipussy twink. He pulls me into his arms force kissing me and pressing my chest against his. He pins me down on the bed tearing my cute lil virgin panties off, he has waited for this for a long time. He teases my boipussy with his massive thicc German cock and then he goes all in. Fucking me with a force I’ve never felt before. Every thrust makes him moan with pleasure. I love the fact I give him pleasure. He cums deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole then he cuddles me with his strong masculine German arms until I fall asleep on his chest.

Any other straight guys have similar fantasies?

so lets say hypothetically you said you were making a pbj, a pbj contains peanut butter (pb) and jelly (j). in the emoji for the sake of the argument lets say there was no pb or j, only cheese and lettuce. not an ingredient of the world reknowned pb and j. therefore it would not be a pbj

Hey, Babe 🥵 Your curves look HOT🔥🔥🔥 Today 🤤🥵 I wanna drink a cup o' CUM 🌊 🌊 🌊 🥵 with you 🥵🥵🥵 So What you wanna do baby girl?🤤🥵

ඞ

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Russians in Ukraine, and I have over 300 confirmed gas tank refills.


I am trained in pumping gasoline and diesel and I’m the top jerrycan filer in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another truck. I will wipe your windshield with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.


You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of gas stations across the USA and your vehicle is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that overfills the pathetic little thing you call your gas tank. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fill your gas tank in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.


Not only am I extensively trained in jerrycan use, but I have access to the entirety of the United States Marine Corps gas pumps and I will use it to its full extent to fill your miserable tank so you can drive off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.


But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over your vehicle and you will drown in gasoline.


You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Yep you read that right. I jerk off every night I'm on shift. My supervisor will check in over the walkie sometimes which sucks. He has done so right as I'm about to cum and ruined it for me which sucks but being paid a living wage while jerking off is worth being blue balled occasionally.

Once a night in the camera room where I'm stationed I pull out me dick and pull up some porn on my phone and go to town. I always stop by a coffee stand on the way to work so I usually cum in the coffee cup then put the lid back on and throw it out. After doing this job for years the company has probably paid me thousands to jerk off at this point. That makes every orgasm even sweeter. Just last night I shot ropes so hard in that cup thinking about how great my life is that I get paid to cum.

I’m literally shaking and hyperventilating while I’m writing this. I’m in a mineralogy and rock class in college and my professor just told us that magma oceans aren’t real.

My ears started ringing, I almost passed out But that can’t be true, right? Every Dark Souls game and Elden Ring all have magma oceans, surely they wouldn’t lie about that?

I stood up and I said you’re lying! As soon as I did that, my professor’s health bar appeared and his theme started to play.

He said that FromSoftware are liars and he called me maidenless. I attempted to fight him but he pulled out the moon veil katana and one shot me. He told me to “Put your foolish ambitions to rest”.

I am now sitting at the site of grace in bathroom, questioning my life’s choices that led me here.

If they lied about magma oceans, what else are they lying about?

FromSoftware needs to explain themselves.

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋

██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete.....

████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete....

███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete....

███████████] 99% complete.....

🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy😛😛💕💕💦👅👅

My name is Fredrick Fitzgerald Fazbear. I live at 308 Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, Hurricane, Utah. 84024. To all night guard entities, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my Fazbear family now.
[covers security camera momentarily]
Freddy Fazbear: Chica, you are the love of my life, I hope you know that. Golden Freddy, you're my big man. There are... there are going to be some things, things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few nights. I just want you to know that, no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart. End communication.

My Fnaf rap
YO YO YO listen up to my new rap! I just got a
freddy hat!
(HOT GIRL SINGING) oH YeAhhhh ITS FREDDY
FAZBEARS PIZZA! WHEN YOU GET SOME PIZZA!
AND A BIG. PIECE. OF ASSSSSS! awesome music
plays
Me: ya my name is rappa 3000 and ill tel ya da
story of fredy pizzaria with a freddy goldy and a
hot foxy fucking chica all day long, With a hudge
dong, and den the security guard named chonged
put his dong in BONNIE!
girl takes off shirt and sings OH YEAAAAAAHHH
ITS FREDDY FAZBER PIZZZAAA! WHEN U GET
SOME PIZZA AND A. BIG. PIECE. OF. QSS
me strokes dong mmmm ya itd fredy fazber pizza
with a huge dings and blongs and bong and
frogsssss! with scary sexy animatrons!

Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu.Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator

Best pussy in ever had? My neighbor's pussy.

Shes white but has this dark vigour all over her face that makes her, wilder in my opinion. She's mostly calm, until we are alone, her and me. When that happens she pounces over me and rubs me all the time. I respond with grabbing her neck with one hand and rubbing her chest and belly with the other. When that happens she closes her eyes and makes this, roar, that I just can't resist. Next thing you know I'm lying down and she's over me. Her hands on my belly and her legs spread. Then I'm looking into her eyes and she's looking mine, I cress her thoroughly. Hours pass by. Till it happens, and she's lying sleepy over me, her hands in my hands. Often by this time neighbour walks in and he always says in that friendly yet jealous manner : "There you to go at it again! She really likes you. Hope she wants me the same way"

Her name is Kelly and I like feeding her fishes.

Hey man, why didn't you mark this as a meme? I was on the subway and I started to laugh hysterically! The people I was sitting next to started to laugh too! And, then I dropped my phone due to the laughter, then the other people saw the meme and started laughing hysterically! And now there's a line of people laughing at the subway, thanks to you.

Yeah I get that you wanna smash at my place

But how do i know that you are the famous
griefer POPBOB trying to get my base coordinates

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy😛😛💕💕💦👅👅

You're probably thinking right now, "oh, another copypasta smh..." But I'm not gonna lie but this is just my unbiased opinion. Having a huge, bulging, enormous horse cock is really cringe. Hear me out, alright? Its gotta be a curse to have a big dick! I mean when you get hard out in public for some apparent reason everyone can see it, especially in basketball shorts! Most of the time females are too scared to take a big dick because it honestly might hurt their little flower, that's if you're not an adult entertainer.

"Is 2 inches enough?" Is the big question. The answer is yes! Even though the question is most likely a joke but in my opinion the answer is a resounding yes! Myself (M/23) has small penis that is about 2 inches when flacid and then when i get hard it grows to about 5.5 inches which means that I am a grower and not a shower. Guys, know your worth and don't be worried about have a big cow penis because that shit is cringe as fuck!

If anyone would like to have a civil debate or ask questions regarding this topic please comment below and we will all figure this out as a team. Small to average penis gang all day, everyday!

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 10% complete..... ████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 35% complete.... ███████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 60% complete.... ███████████\] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy😛😛💕💕💦👅👅

17 days without jerking off, I went to the pharmacy to buy a halls, then the cashier said "good night, can I help?" Man who says that? Everyone knows that cashier girls just say "good night/good morning/good afternoon" but for me she said "Good night, can I help", naughty she's super into mine. Then I took a red halls and said "I want a strawberry halls" then she said "this one is cherry, the strawberry one is the pinkest" look how naughty, bro, unbelievable, the girl had the audacity to say that the halls red isn't strawberry just to make conversation with me, I decided to see how far her straight face would go, so I said "ah it's all the same" then she giggled. Bro it wasn't a joke, there was no reason for her to laugh, she laughed to put me at ease and ask for my whatsapp, I'm sure. So I stared at her silent face for about 40 seconds to make a flirting link because it wasn't fair for her to just do everything, she asking "yeah... do you want anything else sir?" Look at that naughty offering to me during work hours, so I just kept the halls in my hand looking at her, she started to look around to see if anyone was looking at her to ask for my whatsapp, she was so euphoric with my presence who was starting to sweat and watering in her eyes, surely imagining our married future. Two minutes after I just held the halls and looked into her eyes I reached into my pocket for my wallet and she said "please don't hurt me", certainly imagining wild sex for me being the alpha male that I am. So I took my wallet, opened a smile, took 2 dollars and paid the halls. Then I said "I'll be back" and a tear ran down her face. Surely she is completely in love with me and crying with happiness.

Please get a reading comprehension class or look up a video about understanding English or something. If I were to say "it's not that big of a deal lol" then that would be me directly talking about and giving opinions on the subject, so it would show that I care about said subject (in this case your cat image being used without consent).

But since I only said that I didn't care about the subject that doesn't apply as I did not mention the subject beyond how I don't care about it, if this was not the case then the phrase "I don't care" would be useless and become irrelevant over time.

And while you probably set aside your reading abilities intentionally to make a funny comeback that all the redditors will see and press the up arrow on, and while I do admit I also enjoy seeing a lot of numbers next to that arrow, an unoriginal joke that hardly makes sense unless you drop your reading comprehension to that of a 7 year old isn't deserving of the orange pixels representing a large value.

TLDR: the only thing I care about is your lack of reading comprehension and/or use of overused unfunny nonsensical comebacks.

I fucking hate Teletubbies, their my fucking worst nightmare. I had a dream that they fucked my sister and I starting crying, I'm not even joking at all I just feel heartbroken about my sister. I was watching Teletubbies and then this purple tubbie looked so fucking ugly I cried to my sleep even the green one I fucking hate that on too. I hate every Teletubbies on the show including the sun because it was also so fucking ugly with the baby face on it. Now I'm blind by the sun because of that when I was at a age of 5 and that's how I got my glasses.