Yes, I’ve kindly communicated this to her already. She’s tried alot of things to make it better. And some days it’s not too bad. But her vagina usually smells like rancid rotting fish. It’s been like this since the first time I ever had sex with her two years ago. Like I can’t even get my nose close to her vagina without wanting to puke. It turns me off every time. And after we have sex I have to shower immediately because the smell just is so fucking awful. I don’t want to leave her over this, and I’m not planning on it. But god do I need help. God it smells so bad. I’m writing this rn in the bathroom after I nearly threw up and lied abt finishing. Fuck someone help me. Any ladies with this issue find a good fix? I fucking hate fish god I have to go shower now I can’t keep typing.

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

So earlier this year my best friend and roomate who's straight (I'm super gay) broke his hands in an accident some time ago (trying to keep it vague so he or others don't figure it out) and we were hanging out watching TV and bullshitting after his hands had been in casts for a couple of weeks. Well we were talking about his accident and how hard it is to do normal stuff like wipe his ass which was super hard for him now.

I laughed and asked him how he jerked off. His face sank and he said he couldn't manage to. At most he could touch himself with a few fingertips and it wasn't enough to really get him off. He said he was going nuts and had a few weeks to go before maybe getting at least one cast off and said it was going to be hard making it until then.

I offered to jerk him off and he laughed and said he wasn't gay. I told him it doesn't have to be a big deal and we don't have to talk about it. I told him since we're both single we aren't cheating on anybody and we could just put porn on he liked and he could pretend a girl was jerking him off and didn't even have to look at me and we could stop if it got weird.

He laughed it off and kept drinking then after about 30 mins he said out of nowhere "Okay."

I said, "Okay what."

He said, "You can jerk me off just please don't tell anyone." I reassured him this is our secret and I gave him my word I wouldn't share that he let me jerk him off (this is anonymous so it doesn't count), told him to put whatever he wanted on the TV. He put some random straight porn video on, I sat next to him, spit in my hand and jerked him off. As he got close I squeezed his balls and he sprayed a huge load everywhere moaning loudly and I milked him dry.

We did this multiple times for the next 6 weeks or so until his hands got better. Tonight I'm going to see if he wants to do it again and maybe return the favor with his hands now that they're healed.

Wish me luck!

Edit: He doesn't want anything sexual between us anymore. It kind of sucks because while I didn't get off myself it was super hot making my bud cum all over his legs and my hand. I'm not angry with him but it's disappointing.

Hentai is much more ethical than "normal", live-action porn. No human trafficking, no drug addictions, no STDs. Live-action porn is imperfect by definition; it stars humans, and one of the defining traits of humanity is imperfectness. Hentai, on the other hand, is much closer to perfection; it does not include any unwanted elements that are always present in people. Still the majority of people view hentai as sick or weird, even though it is much closer to perfection than live-action porn. The usual arguments against hentai are ones about the weirdness of being attracted and aroused at drawings. This is of no argumental value as it plays on the majority-ruled and zeitgeist dependent notion of "weirdness". What's weird is not universal; people of different cultural backgrounds may view things that other cultures do as sick or weird. In fact, it is much more abnormal to not be aroused by hentai, as hentai is the crystallization, the minimalistic arrangement of arousing qualities stripped of everything unnecessary. It is much more abnormal to not be aroused at these qualities that chosen specifically to arouse, than it is to be aroused at a random arrangement of genes transformed by random events through life. The same points also apply to virtual idols and singers such as Hatsune Miku and others like her. The inevitable impossibility of ever having physical contact with Hatsune Miku is no different from real singers; you as a normal person will most likely never touch her, the star.

excuse me sir or ma'am but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"

Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet."

And here you are!

I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other.

I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the screenshot--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat).

Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess!

EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha

EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah

EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said?

EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge

EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore

EDIT 6: hey are you there?

I’m not attracted to men or manly features. But I did once masturbate my friend with a surgical glove for about 20 seconds. We were hanging out at my family’s living room and decided to watch porn. There was 5 of us and everyone was masturbating. His dick was the biggest and we all took turns stroking it with gloves. Now that I look back at that, it seems gay. But I’m definitely not attracted to him. Edit: porn was lesbian

sowwy dwaddy!\~ iwm vwery sowwy thwat i plweyyed wibt ur dily dildo ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐ pweasee dwonnt pwunishh mwee i'll bwe a gud gwurll.... ͼ(ݓ*ݓ)ͽ w-wha what areew ywoou dwoing?? >*< stwapp it dwaddy\~ a- a- stop! *blushes* ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵ u wanna.. wanna woht? **owo** n-n-not twere dwaddy HYWAAAAA! （≧ｍ≦） *huffy puffy* i- i- gwuess we can dwo it foww da nwight... (´･ω･\`) *slowly cuddles onto u* i- i- rweady >*< \* A- A- Awhoo!!\~ tickles you hehe ur shwy one awrent ywouu? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ\*:･ﾟ✧ w-wwhat gulps DWADDY IM MWOANY MWOANY!\~\~ ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡ kyaa.... thwat.. thwatt wass intwense* (´ཀ'」 ∠)\_ im vwery sowwi dwaddy i'll pwomise i wont bwe bwaddie again :3

I once masturbated my friend with surgical gloves as a joke, does that make me gay?

I’m not attracted to men or manly features. But I did once masturbate my friend with a surgical glove for about 20 seconds. We were hanging out at my family’s living room and decided to watch porn. There was 5 of us and everyone was masturbating. His dick was the biggest and we all took turns stroking it with gloves. Now that I look back at that, it seems gay. But I’m definitely not attracted to him. Edit: porn was lesbian

Legit kys,the fandom is tierd of your constant raids,vandalizm and bullshit

none likes you and none ever will,all of you are butthurt tryhards who try to sound "redpilled" and "based" by makeing fun of the fandom,tama did nothing wrong,soft mod is good,b3 is the best mod ever to come from the community and all of you are too blind to see,why?

because all of you are too focused on being the "cool anarcy sub lol XDDDDD",all of you have no lifes and will never be anything in life,kys you waste of oxygen and time all of you mean nothing to the fnf community and will never mean anything to anyone

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

i never had a gay thought, i hate gay people. i never thought of a man softly kissing me, staring deeply into my eyes, holding me close and making me feel safe. i never thought of softly running my hand through a man's soft hair, holding them as if they were a treasure. i never once thought of cuddling a man in bed and squeezing them, keeping them safe. those are unholy SINFUL thoughts, and i as a child of JESUS would never think of such things.

Happened last Tuesday.

At 49 years old, I have never "manscaped" myself.

I just never really thought to do it, apart from just using some scissors to cut excess hair. But since I am going through a divorce, I thought now might be a good time to get a cleaner look. So I bought an electric groin hair trimmer called (I am not kidding) the Lawn Mower.

It has a little ceramic blade head similar to the kind the barber uses with a hair trimmer, but it is waterproof and supposedly keeps your manhood looking trim, neat, and clean.

Anyway, I go into the shower and rinse off real good. I then take this sharp trimmer and clean off the hair on my stomach and legs. Looks great! Then I take it and remove the excess hair around my groins. Looks even better! I am starting to look like a younger man again!

So I take this trimmer and start to shave the little hairs off my testicles.

There should be a HUGE warning sticker on this thing that says "DO NOT APPLY TO TESTICLES!" Because I did. Blood starts shooting from the little veins all over them. I am now shouting and stinging in pain and blood is running down my legs.

I have to jump out of the shower and stop the bleeding with a towel, which ends up looking like I murdered someone. It's been a week, and it still hurts.

TL;DR I foolishly used a hair trimmer on my testicles. ( [u/El\_Hombre\_Molecular](https://www.reddit.com/user/El_Hombre_Molecular/) )

i am 17 and have had feelings for mum for a long time, she will always get dressed in front of me if i go into her room etc etc she will also allow me to go into the room when she is showeering if she needs anything or if i ask her a question i am a 16 year old male i am 17 in 9 days what can i do to see if my mum is actually intresed in having sex with me atall?

Femboys are just hot. They are the pinnacle of life. If I could fuck femboys all day and night, I would. I just wanna stick my meat stick inside a femboy's tight asshole as they moan while I put my seed inside their tiny asshole. I love femboys, and I'm not ashamed of it.

Fissma male daily grind:

2:00 - wake up

2:05 - eat breakfast (17 billion calories worth of uranium)

2:10 - go to work (nuclear power plant)

7:15 - arrive at work

8:00 - meltdown

9:00 - meltdown

10:00 - own fossiletards on Reddit

11:00 - meltdown

12:00 - own renewabletards on Reddit

13:00 - meltdown

14:00 - 15 minute break for radiation check

14:15 - 29 times the lethal dose of radiation, new record, become the employee of the month

15:00 - thorium snack (500 million calories)

16:00 - go home

18:00 - sneeze at a house with solar panels on top, all inhabitants will die within a week.

21:15 - arrive at home

21:30 - point out inaccuracies in Netflix's Chernobyl

22:00 - go to sleep

Credit to u/poro114

Me: I mean, who cares if I just wanna dress up like a fluffy bunny while drawing slightly creepier bunnies! While listening to my bunny songs. And watching fluffy bunny videos. While in my fur lined rabbit pelt chair. While eating rabbit stew. While sharing oxygen with bunnies. Sleeping with my bunny rabbit body pillow. While feeding my pet rabbit. When I'm looking at my rabbit poseters. With my stained glass window in the shape of a bunny. While I close my bunny curtains, and lock my rabbit door. To fuck my custom made rabbit dildo.

Actually, when I put it like that it sounds like I have a problem... Can I start over?

"Sir, this is a Wendy's."

You look like you need to ride my face for hours and cum on it back to back to back. I eat pussy for my pleasure, so it would be my pleasure to suck and lick on you clit until you squirt in my mouth and swallow all your juices and keep going. As I kept going I would want to tongue fuck the inside that pink, wet pussy until your legs are shaking and your eyes roll back and you are squeezing my head with your thighs screaming in nothing but Devine pleasure and your pussy juices quench my thirst. mmm my dick is so hard right now thinking about it, do you consider 7 inches a big dick that’s how much I want to put inside you after I get done eating your pussy while my balls slap the bottom of your pussy and me rubbing your clit and me sucking on them big soft tittes of yours ,making you moan and scream in pleasure. I’ll pull out, after I start making you squirt again and suck on your clit again as your squirting in my mouth and I swallow every bit of it. Then I would love to just have you sit back on my face as I stuck my long tongue out and have you slide it inside of your wet pussy and you fuck my tongue as your grind your clit against my my lips and I play with your tits just how you like it. Then round two I want you to start out just pile driving, fucking my face, Like straight fuck my nose then my tongue and then straight rough fuck my lips while I’m sucking your pussy. I want my face to become your personal fuck toy I want you then to straight cum on every inch my face or squirt and don’t stop until your pussy looks like a water hose. And my face looks like someone dumped a bucket of water on it. I want you to then spread your pussy out as far as you can so I suck the inside walls of your pussy while I’m rubbing on that sexy ass little clit of yours making you not know what to with yourself with orgasm after orgasm with your body trembling in pleasure.

Listen buddy, Imma have to burst your bubble here.

'Gank' bosses are OBJECTIVELY better than solo bosses. Wanna know why? Simple math. When you're fighting one boss, you're having 100% of the fun. So what happens when you're fighting two of them? That's right, 200% of the fun. Michael Zaki has been kind enough to even put boss fights with 300% of the fun, but what you do? You complain.

So next time you feel like bitching about multiple bosses, please understand that it's just because YOU can't handle that much fun because you're a boring person, and that there's nothing wrong with the fight itself.

Throwaway account cause I know people who browse reddit.

So I've been really repressed sexually, and I'd heard a few rumours about a glory hole at a local sex store. I really wanted a blowjob so I got curious and went in, asking the lady at the counter and she ushered me through the store room into a dimly lit area with 2 doors. She said "get sucked in the left, suck in the right".

I was really horny at this point, and before I knew it I'd opened the door on the right and sat down on some suspectly stained cushions on the floor. I was nervous, shaking almost, but I had a raging boner and was brimming with excitement. Why had I opened this door?

I wasn't sure if I had to do anything first, I'd done no research as to how glory hole etiquette goes, but all of a sudden I heard the door and then shuffling and someone unzipping their trousers on the other side, and you guessed it, a floppy cock slid through the hole and a bit dazed, I looked it over. It was really clean, no hair and a massive head. So I cautiously start sucking on the tip, licking the shaft up and down and the guy is moaning. I've never sucked a dick before but it got hard almost instantly in my mouth and it was brilliant. I sucked and licked for about 3 minutes, forgetting to breath almost, before the guy knocked on the wall and all of a sudden he shot his load right down my throat - it tickled my tonsils on the way past - and I just kind held it in my mouth and then he went soft and pulled out the hole. He said "fuck that was great" and I just sat back wiping the excess cum off my mouth.

Now I felt quite liberated, but I didn't feel done. I waited for maybe 20 minutes before I heard the door and someone else came in - and I sucked them off, about 5 minutes this time. I got that load mostly on my face because they didn't knock until late but I still licked it all up. I waited in there for another hour or so and sucked off 3 more guys, all with really nice cocks and all within about 5 minutes or so. After the 5th I was getting hungry so I used some of the wet wipes on a nearby table to clean my face and hurriedly walked out.

I didn't know what to expect when I went into the room but I really loved it and eating cum was a real turn on. I should point out I'm a straight 29 year old male and I've never experimented with a guy before and I'm definitely not gay or wanting any relationship with a man. I no longer feel repressed and I think I might go back at some point just for the experience.

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in the scene, much less this screenshot, implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech IEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you.