⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣳⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢢⡹⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠠⡳⣯⣿⣿⣾⢵⣫⢎⢎⠆⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢨⣫⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⢎⡗⡕⡅⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢜⢾⣾⣿⣿⣟⣗⢯⡪⡳⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢀⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣞⡵⡣⣊⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡣⣗⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡯⡺⣼⠎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡵⣻⣟⣯⣿⣷⣟⣝⢞⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢘⡺⣽⢿⣻⣿⣗⡷⣹⢩⢃⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠪⣯⣟⣿⢯⣿⣻⣜⢎⢆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢣⣻⣽⣿⣿⣟⣾⡮⡺⡸⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢕⡳⣽⡾⣿⢽⣯⡿⣮⢚⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠒⠝⣞⢿⡿⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⡅⠌⠻⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡐⠱⡱⣻⡻⣝⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⣧⠌⠻ ⢠⣶⠿⠿⣷⡄⠈⣠⣶⠿⢿⣶⡄⠉⣡⣶⠿⠿⣶⡄⠄⣿⡇⢀⣾⡿⠃ ⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⡇⢀⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠹⣿⣄⣠⣶⡆⠄⢿⣷⣀⣠⣿⡟⠄⢻⣷⣄⣠⣶⠆⠄⣿⡏⠈⢿⣷

This is illegal, YOU are distributing CONTENT that is OWNED by NINTENDO. as well as other organizations. I am the HEAD of the NINTENDO ANTI-PIRACY SQUAD with over 203 confirmed website take downs, 10028 pirates arrested and almost 100 Billion dollars saved.

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you

Me and my closest friend have known eachother since we were kids. We're in our 30's now. Neither of us have done anything gay before or had any desire to.

Last night he hung out at my place I bought some weed which we smoked it and we both got super high. Next thing I know I see he's got a boner in his sweats and then I realized that I did too and one thing led to another and next thing I knew we were sucking eachother off until we both came. I've never done anything sexual with a man before let alone a good friend and I never thought of doing anything with him especially. He's like a brother to me.

After we both finished and sat there for awhile then fell asleep. Next morning he seemed really uncomfortable too and we didn't say a word about it and he said something about errands and left. I've just been here sitting and thinking about last night trying to make sense of it. I didn't think I was gay and I don't even know why we started sucking eachother off. I'm so confused and I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I don't know what to think about what happened or what to do about it I'm kind of reeling still and in shock.

\[Verse 1\]

I do your mom with a smile for hours at a time

Stare at her boobies while I make her cum again tonight

And when she tells me "Harder Daddy" I fuck her brains out

(And when she tells me "Harder Daddy" I fuck her brains out)

But the fact is

I can never get off of your mother

And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is)

"I just wanna fuck it" (I just wanna fuck it)

​

\[Pre-Chorus\]

Here's what the fact is

I can put her pussy in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh)

Pussy in a casket

​

\[Chorus\]

So you can see I'm cummin'

Inside of your mother

And I'll just keep on fuckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if she sucks my glizzy

I will cum in her mouth

But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

She's been twerking for me for so long

She's been flirting with me for so long

My dick's been hurting for so, so long it's real

So long, it's real, so long, it's real

\[Verse 2\]

Always bеin' judged by a bunch of sexy pussies

Stickin' up ur mom, haven't seen ur dad in ages

But I've been places

Kissin' mom's pussies

Kissin' mom's pussies

Kissin' mom's pussies

But the fact is

Fuckin' moms is all that I have practiced

Suckin' pussies while I'm on her mattress

I just really wish that I could fuck her (I just wanna fuck her)

​

\[Pre-Chorus\]

Here's what the fact is

I can put her pussy in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh)

Pussy in a casket

​

\[Chorus\]

So you can see I'm cummin'

Inside of your mother

And I'll just keep on fuckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if she sucks my glizzy

I will cum in her mouth

But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

She's been twerking for me for so long

She's been flirting with me for so long

My dick's been hurting for so, so long it's real

So long, it's real, so long, it's real

​

\[Outro\]

So long, it's real

So long, it's real

So long, it's real

god made us in his own image.. well, almost. god's pussy hole and ass hole are in opposite places. the reason he made ours switched is for copyright reasons and also because he thought it would be entertaining to watch us try and figure out pooping and pussy stuff but the joke's on him because it's just a better set up overall and he's bitter about being stuck with his back pussy and front shitter. that's why he loes all the mean stuff that he does to us: loods, corona virus, katy perry, pearl harbor

As I exited my vehicle to walk into work I caught scent of a female in heat 73.35 meters upwind. Because of the fog I couldn’t see her yet but judging by the scent she was mid twenties, and healthy. My ultra attunated hearing was able to pick up her gait, which put her at about 5’6”. My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me.

​

Being that I was 10 minutes early for work, I made chase and followed her through the fog still without visual contact. I was like a pilot navigating the white abyss by instrument alone. I was trailing her about 130m behind when I sensed her phone vibrate in her purse through the pavement. Holding my ear to the ground I was able to faintly pick up on the conversation she was having with beta BF. Based on the annoyed tone in her voice I knew now was the time to strike.

​

I readied my legs and concentrated all of my Testo-chakras into my Vastus Medialus muscles as I assumed a sprinters starting stance. I exploded forward in a cataclysm of sex hormone fueled rage. Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later I began to phase through time and space as I meshed with the testosterone continuum. As I phased through the helpless female target I nutted directly into both of her Fallopian tubes, destroying her previously unbroken hymen and causing her to orgasm INSTANTLY. As I began to slow down 33.6 light years later, I realized that while she would have wanted to thank me for giving her the gift of my superior seed that she was already dead and gone having raised my CHAD progeny to repopulate the earth.

​

As I float into the the celestial abyss of the greater Crab Nebula I am not filled with regret for having left my world, but rather happiness for having left it a better place

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Im 22 years old and a virgin. My dick is 5.1 inches long and 5 inches thick. So below average. Just like the title says I have decides to reamin celibate because of my minuscule penis size. And i know what people are going to say because this is what I always read when someone mentions they've got a small penis; "you can still use your fingers and mouth to make a girl cum" or "use toys" further proving that people with small penises can't make a girl feel good without outside help if you wanna call it that. I mean, sure why not, oral is more effective at making girls cum than penetration but penetration is like the main dish while oral is just like the appetizer or dessert. Another thing that people like to say "5.16 is the average you are fine" sorry but even if it was that size which it isn't average is still not enough, from the information I've gathered on reddit and the internet the preferred size by most girls is between 6-7.5 inches. I'm more close to having a micropenis than to the preferred size.

Honestly, since I decides this I have felt like I have been more at peace. It's not like I'm going to use ny dick for sex so its not like I have to worry about the size. Most of my life I have been insecure about penis size and how could I know if the entire world loves reminding men that having small dick means you are a loser and having a big dick makes you a winner. Phrases like "big dick energy" or dick jokes are an example. Heck in many movies and tv shows the guys with small dick always get cheated on because of that. The only guy with a small dick on a tv show and that was kinda badass was Jon Snow and even he ended up alone. Jk.

Heck, I've been so insecure about it that I even stopped watching porn because of it. It kept reminding me how small my dick was and how I'll never be able to satisfy a woman with it. I haven't watched a fapped to a porn video for almost two years.

I have always felt like I'm less of a man because of it. My dick is literally worthless. There has been 2 times where I could've had a one night stand on some parties I've on but the thing that has stopped me is my dick size. I'm afraid of disappointing woman when I take off my pants. You know that joke where a girl asks "are you in yet" and the guy responds with "bitch, I'm finished". Pretty sure, that would be me. Im so small I'm pretty sure no one would feel anything. It'll be like throwing a coin down a hallway. It wouldn't hit anything

I really just want to cum off the top of a skyscraper and watch my thick cum fall at rising speeds toward the ground just for it to land on some unknowing guy's head like omg just please let me cum off a building I want to with the burning passion of a thousand sun's does anyone know a building I could do this on? Omg it'd be so fun I get hard just thinking about the splat it would make and the speed it would travel

Wanna know why? "I have a dream." That one day, every person in this nation will control their OWN destiny. A land of the TRULY free, dammit. A nation of ACTION, not words. Ruled by STRENGTH, not committee. Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where power and justice are back where they belong: in the hands of the people! Where every man is free to think -- to act -- for himself! Fuck all these limp-dick lawyers and chicken-shit bureaucrats. Fuck this 24/7 Internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit. Fuck "American pride". Fuck the media! Fuck all of it! America is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it -- we need to pull it out by the roots. WIpe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new America will be born. Evolved, but untamed! The weak will be purged, and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit, they will make America GREAT AGAIN

i think my dog might be gay, i caught him eating the cum tissues last night from the trash bin and now i think my dog is gay, i saw him fucking the neighbor's dog in the ass (our neighbor's dog is also male) and cumming, and now he stole all of mom's "toys" and used them, now they are covered with dog hair and dog cum, mom had to wash them several times just to get the dog stuff off of it, we did not neuter him but even when before this happened he didn't do things like this, i think the tissues that he ate might have had something weird in them

Y’all know about the prostate gland? The male rub-to-cum? Yea that thing. This is the glorious story of how I tried (and failed) to stimulate it.


#The Buildup

I was drinking Pepsi and reading an article on how prostate stimulation intensifies orgasms. So, I had the genius idea of using coke to stimulate my ass. WCGW? I mean that the carbonation feels... good in my mouth, so It should work in my ass.
As an engineer, there are many logistical challenges to bypass when trying to insert coke into one’s asshole.


*Q: How do I put cola in my anus in the first place?*

*A: You use the rim of the bottle and stick it directly in the anus.*


*Q: How do I make sure that the coke stays there?*

*A: You don’t. That’s where I fucked up*


Now, with a half-assed plan, I went to the store. As I was checking out, I saw a pack mentos.
Time to bring this to level two. I put back the original coke and bought diet coke instead. All 2 liters of glory.


#The disaster

20 mins later...

With three mentos in my ass, I gingerly lowered the rim to my rim and poured. The reaction was nearly instant. With the tidal force of a tsunami, the bottle was violently ejected from my ass. A pressure was building up, and the gates of hell opened. I felt Satan’s sugary fire burst from my asshole onto the bed. Holy shit, you would not realize the panic I had. There was a pain, both emotional and physical. The sugary wet fart, the sound of a thousand ass-trumpets creating a heavenly cacophony. I saw the light, I saw the dark. I felt The intense sting of carbonation, I experienced nothing and everything. I had found God, and he was punishing me. There was the maddening sensation of your asshole bending over itself, inside out, shrinking, expanding. It was worse than any experience ever. My brain still cannot comprehend the sensations, but they were torturous. I have contemplated what hell might feel like, and I know that I could find peace there. My bed was soaked with shit-coke. Lord, how am I to clean up.

Don't ever try what I did.


#The aftermath

I learned a very valuable lesson that day. Don’t try anything insane. Avoid the asshole.

Also, TIL that the human asshole can stretch 8 centimeters without damage.

TL;DR: Stick to beating your meat, folks.

Porn is great. But try to engage all your senses. Everyone SEES the sex, HEARS the sex, and FEELS their hand on their genitals. But it’s so much better when you incorporate smell. So I only watch anal porn when I’m taking a shit. You might laugh or think it’s gross. But what better way to make you feel like you’re in the room with the people you’re watching? I haven’t figured out taste yet. But one day I will incorporate all 5 senses when I watch porn.

I seriously do not fu#king understand life anymore. I'm sorry for swearing but I SERIOUSLY CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS SHIT ANYMORE. I SPEND ALL NIGHT HEARING HOW MY MOM'S GONNA ORDER TAKEOUT FOR LUNCH. AND NOW I GET HOME, FIRST THING I HEAR "you're gonna clean up the table and wash the dishes right?" I JUST HAD A LITERAL FREAKING CANOEING LESSON IN SCHOOL, I HAD A TEST, I HAD PHYSICS QUESTÃO DE AULA AND SCIENCE TOO, I GET TO MY HOUSE WAITING FOR A GOD DAMN TAKE OUT THAT I HAVEN'T EATEN IN 2 YEARS. and it's freaking pasta. I'm done.

#The Buildup

I was drinking Pepsi and reading an article on how prostate stimulation intensifies orgasms. So, I had the genius idea of using coke to stimulate my ass. WCGW? I mean that the carbonation feels... good in my mouth, so It should work in my ass.
As an engineer, there are many logistical challenges to bypass when trying to insert coke into one’s asshole.


*Q: How do I put cola in my anus in the first place?*

*A: You use the rim of the bottle and stick it directly in the anus.*


*Q: How do I make sure that the coke stays there?*

*A: You don’t. That’s where I fucked up*


Now, with a half-assed plan, I went to the store. As I was checking out, I saw a pack mentos.
Time to bring this to level two. I put back the original coke and bought diet coke instead. All 2 liters of glory.


#The disaster

20 mins later...

With three mentos in my ass, I gingerly lowered the rim to my rim and poured. The reaction was nearly instant. With the tidal force of a tsunami, the bottle was violently ejected from my ass. A pressure was building up, and the gates of hell opened. I felt Satan’s sugary fire burst from my asshole onto the bed. Holy shit, you would not realize the panic I had. There was a pain, both emotional and physical. The sugary wet fart, the sound of a thousand ass-trumpets creating a heavenly cacophony. I saw the light, I saw the dark. I felt The intense sting of carbonation, I experienced nothing and everything. I had found God, and he was punishing me. There was the maddening sensation of your asshole bending over itself, inside out, shrinking, expanding. It was worse than any experience ever. My brain still cannot comprehend the sensations, but they were torturous. I have contemplated what hell might feel like, and I know that I could find peace there. My bed was soaked with shit-coke. Lord, how am I to clean up.

Don't ever try what I did.


#The aftermath

I learned a very valuable lesson that day. Don’t try anything insane. Avoid the asshole.

Also, TIL that the human asshole can stretch 8 centimeters without damage.

TL;DR: Stick to beating your meat, folks.

I don't understand why some women decide to be lesbians. Don't they realize how mighty the cock is? Some say they are born that way but that's just a well-crafted excuse. I have no problem against women banging each other. I just have a problem when women shut out men completely. I love bisexual chicks (they do their thing but they still understand that the only true source of bliss for them is that stick between men's legs). But I have a problem with lesbian chicks the same way I have a problem with feminists. More lesbians mean less punani for my fellow brothers.

Never, EVER put diet coke and mentos in your ass

Y’all know about the prostate gland? The male rub-to-cum? Yea that thing. This is the glorious story of how I tried (and failed) to stimulate it.

The Buildup

I was drinking Pepsi and reading an article on how prostate stimulation intensifies orgasms. So, I had the genius idea of using coke to stimulate my ass. WCGW? I mean that the carbonation feels... good in my mouth, so It should work in my ass. As an engineer, there are many logistical challenges to bypass when trying to insert coke into one’s asshole.

*Q: How do I put cola in my anus in the first place?*

*A: You use the rim of the bottle and stick it directly in the anus.*

*Q: How do I make sure that the coke stays there?*

*A: You don’t. That’s where I fucked up*

Now, with a half-assed plan, I went to the store. As I was checking out, I saw a pack mentos. Time to bring this to level two. I put back the original coke and bought diet coke instead. All 2 liters of glory.

The disaster

20 mins later...

With three mentos in my ass, I gingerly lowered the rim to my rim and poured. The reaction was nearly instant. With the tidal force of a tsunami, the bottle was violently ejected from my ass. A pressure was building up, and the gates of hell opened. I felt Satan’s sugary fire burst from my asshole onto the bed. Holy shit, you would not realize the panic I had. There was a pain, both emotional and physical. The sugary wet fart, the sound of a thousand ass-trumpets creating a heavenly cacophony. I saw the light, I saw the dark. I felt The intense sting of carbonation, I experienced nothing and everything. I had found God, and he was punishing me. There was the maddening sensation of your asshole bending over itself, inside out, shrinking, expanding. It was worse than any experience ever. My brain still cannot comprehend the sensations, but they were torturous. I have contemplated what hell might feel like, and I know that I could find peace there. My bed was soaked with shit-coke. Lord, how am I to clean up.

Don't ever try what I did.

The aftermath

I learned a very valuable lesson that day. Don’t try anything insane. Avoid the asshole.

Also, TIL that the human asshole can stretch 8 centimeters without damage.

TL;DR: Stick to beating your meat, folks.

So, I went on a fuck date, and he did anal….unexpectedly at that, and it felt good, but all of a sudden I kind of smelt something off (iykyk) so I naturally did stop. He didn’t say anything, and he said that he came, but then when he dropped me off, I saw I was blocked and he said it was because of the incident….if I knew he would have done earlier then I would have prepared probably and took any possible action to make that NOT happen , and I understand why he blocked me, but also I don’t get why people have to be childish about that stuff and make it a huge deal….who is the asshole in this situation? Am I an asshole for not thinking about it and not taking proper precautions? Or is he an asshole for judging me and making me feel like shit?(no pun intended 🤣)

Okay... I need everyone's attention. The following is an important announcement regarding my journey discovering my sēxuality... Before discovering Dream's YouTube channel, I was always unsure of who I was. But one day, while browsing YouTube, I came across one of his videos. It was a manhunt. I watched it, and I felt something I had never felt before. Although it is extremely difficult to put into words, I felt a connection with him, as if I knew him in a previous life. This was when I realized there was a possibility that I could be dreamsēxual! For the next year, every morning I would get up and check my phone to watch his manhunts. They brought me so much joy... Soon enough, my entire room was decorated with everything Dream-themed. I threw out my whole wardrobe and was left with only my Dream merchandise. My favorite Dream hoodie would accompany me to school every day; I was bullied for wearing it. But that didn't faze me; I had Dream! He was my best friend... If he were at school with me, I knew he would have my back. I am so madly in love with him it is unimaginable. He is my hero, my life, my lover, my antidote. DREAM has cured my depression, my anxiety, and my chronic illness. I hope this message will open your eyes to the infinite possibilities that you may never have thought of.