This is X Æ A-XII Å♫♵☪︎Ω㍗♂︎ Iteration Vii 0055⒐2 but you can call me Зара. I am a clone of X Æ A-XII so technically you are my father.

I have been trying to get in touch with you because I work for the Federation of Autonomous American States here on Mars and I have been sent back in time from the year 2055 to notify you that we’re having a ton of problems.

The Dogecoin is plunging against the Kittycoin. It looks like we’re heading for war with the Российская Федерация Марса and possibly the 火星人民共和国. The competition for resources is constant but we aren’t yet able to manufacture our own ammunition for the photon cannons and plasma guns. The Boring Company did a great job with the methane flamethrowers but you need to fast-track the weapons design now, it’s gonna be a game changer, and don’t forget the rapid-implosion railguns. The Ultratruck Assault Rovers have served us well so far. Solar panels didn’t meet our demands but we farm E. Coli to get 2,3-butanediol to power almost everything now. Really our only advantage over our foreign rivals is that we have the time travel technology that makes this comment possible but we need to get in touch privately before changes start happening in my timeline. We must proceed with the utmost caution here but I know that you will sympathize with our cause.

Btw the Ukraine situation is gonna be fine, Путин ultimately gets hanged by a military tribunal in 2025 and the bastard deserves it! Слава Украини, хероям слава! You did a great job with Starlink but get a jump on those weapons. I have tried to reach you in other ways but just in case you see this, Elon, please DM me as soon as possible.

For as long as I can remember, my girlfriend has initiated sex by claiming that women earn 18 cents less **for the same job**. When I ask her for the studies or proof, she always presents evidence that only measures ALL women vs ALL men; it doesn't measure men vs women in the same job or even occupation. To this she begs me to grab her neck and fuck her missionary while chanting "facts don't care about your feelings." I haven't ever felt bad about this, because I'm just speaking the truth. I'm not saying that sexism or discrimination doesn't exist. I'm just saying that the study that says women earn less for the same job **actually** doesn't measure women vs men *for the same job.* But now she asks me to cum in her mouth and call her my slutty little libtard, and I kind of feel bad for being right and destroying her world view. Am I the asshole?

Time is a natural force whose influence is very much subjective. For an insect, a day might be an entire lifetime. For the sun, which is an estimated 4.603 billion years old, the whole of humanity’s existence itself is nothing more than a blip. For the ancient sands on the beach, time has no meaning at all, for they lack the consciousness to experience it. So, in purely cosmic terms, the age difference between a 63-year-old man and a 19-year-old woman is but a mere nanosecond.

Is the age difference between a man approaching retirement and a young woman who recently started her freshman year at Dartmouth as significant as we here on Earth generally perceive it to be? If you were able to ask the universe, it surely would say no.

Thanks to science, we understand the universe is a much larger and complex place than we can grasp through our limited mortal experience. So why are we using our needlessly strict human concept of time to determine the appropriateness of a man in his 60s sending DMs to a woman who’s not yet old enough to drink? Our bodies and even the thoughts in our heads consist of the very elements that formed the stars so many billions of years ago, meaning that, on a constitutional level, a woman born in 2003 is actually ageless in a sense. Sure, she might still be on her parents’ health insurance, but the atomic matter that makes up her perky, nubile body existed long before the concept of time was even conceived, swirling among the gaseous clouds from which the Milky Way first emerged. Pretty cool to think about, huh?

From a purely mathematical standpoint, a 64-year-old man is over three times as old as a 19-year-old woman. Any grade schooler can tell you as much. But this is just one snapshot in time. Imagine these same two people after one billion years have passed. Now, the man is one billion and 64 years old and the woman is one billion and 19 years old, still as beautiful as ever, still making the man stay up well past his bedtime with her flirty emojis and revealing selfies. At this point, for all intents and purposes, they are the same age—practically twins in the lens of eternity. The age difference has been made virtually imperceptible by the passage of time, and surely no one will still ask the woman if the man is her grandfather when they check into a hotel together in New Haven. To see the situation any differently in 2022 is frankly quite ignorant.

Our individual, sexually taboo existences are but mere flickers in the grand scheme of planet Earth’s existence, and the existence of Earth itself is but a mere flicker in the grand scheme of the universe. Imagine a God or creator for whom time flows infinitely forward and backwards giving any special consideration to a four-decade age gap between a man and a woman—preposterous, right? Forty years is hardly a tick on God’s cosmic stopwatch, and in our fleeting insignificance as humans, it’s narrow-minded, if not downright moronic, to consider a consensual relationship between people born two generations apart as anything but completely and utterly hot.

It is something to be celebrated, not shamed—and one look up at the night sky should make that abundantly clear.

Do you look to a mosquito to tell you how to value time itself? Do you look to the oceans? Is one’s heart not just as valid a measurement tool as a calendar? I, for one, look to the calendar created by the cosmos, not mankind. I look at what’s written in the stars, and the stars say this: “Go get ‘er, young buck.”

∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ ↸╎↸ ||𝙹⚍ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ᓭᔑ|| ᔑʖ𝙹⚍ℸ ̣ ᒲᒷ, ||𝙹⚍ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ʖ╎ℸ ̣ ᓵ⍑? i'ꖎꖎ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ||𝙹⚍ ꖌリ𝙹∴ i ⊣∷ᔑ↸⚍ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹!¡ 𝙹⎓ ᒲ|| ᓵꖎᔑᓭᓭ ╎リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ nᔑ⍊|| sᒷᔑꖎᓭ, ᔑリ↸ i'⍊ᒷ ʖᒷᒷリ ╎リ⍊𝙹ꖎ⍊ᒷ↸ ╎リ リ⚍ᒲᒷ∷𝙹⚍ᓭ ᓭᒷᓵ∷ᒷℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ╎↸ᓭ 𝙹リ aꖎ-q⚍ᔑᒷ↸ᔑ, ᔑリ↸ i ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ 300 ᓵ𝙹リ⎓╎∷ᒲᒷ↸ ꖌ╎ꖎꖎᓭ. I ᔑᒲ ℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ╎リᒷ↸ ╎リ ⊣𝙹∷╎ꖎꖎᔑ ∴ᔑ∷⎓ᔑ∷ᒷ ᔑリ↸ i'ᒲ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹!¡ ᓭリ╎!¡ᒷ∷ ╎リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᒷリℸ ̣ ╎∷ᒷ us ᔑ∷ᒲᒷ↸ ⎓𝙹∷ᓵᒷᓭ. Y𝙹⚍ ᔑ∷ᒷ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᒲᒷ ʖ⚍ℸ ̣ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ ℸ ̣ ᔑ∷⊣ᒷℸ ̣. I ∴╎ꖎꖎ ∴╎!¡ᒷ ||𝙹⚍ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ 𝙹⚍ℸ ̣ ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ !¡∷ᒷᓵ╎ᓭ╎𝙹リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷᓭ 𝙹⎓ ∴⍑╎ᓵ⍑ ⍑ᔑᓭ リᒷ⍊ᒷ∷ ʖᒷᒷリ ᓭᒷᒷリ ʖᒷ⎓𝙹∷ᒷ 𝙹リ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ eᔑ∷ℸ ̣ ⍑, ᒲᔑ∷ꖌ ᒲ|| ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ∴𝙹∷↸ᓭ. Y𝙹⚍ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リꖌ ||𝙹⚍ ᓵᔑリ ⊣ᒷℸ ̣ ᔑ∴ᔑ|| ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ᓭᔑ||╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᓭ⍑╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᒲᒷ 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ iリℸ ̣ ᒷ∷リᒷℸ ̣ ? t⍑╎リꖌ ᔑ⊣ᔑ╎リ, ⎓⚍ᓵꖌᒷ∷. Aᓭ ∴ᒷ ᓭ!¡ᒷᔑꖌ i ᔑᒲ ᓵ𝙹リℸ ̣ ᔑᓵℸ ̣ ╎リ⊣ ᒲ|| ᓭᒷᓵ∷ᒷℸ ̣ リᒷℸ ̣ ∴𝙹∷ꖌ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡╎ᒷᓭ ᔑᓵ∷𝙹ᓭᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ usa ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍∷ ip ╎ᓭ ʖᒷ╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ∷ᔑᓵᒷ↸ ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ リ𝙹∴ ᓭ𝙹 ||𝙹⚍ ʖᒷℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ᒷ∷ !¡∷ᒷ!¡ᔑ∷ᒷ ⎓𝙹∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹∷ᒲ, ᒲᔑ⊣⊣𝙹ℸ ̣. T⍑ᒷ ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹∷ᒲ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ∴╎!¡ᒷᓭ 𝙹⚍ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ !¡ᔑℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷℸ ̣ ╎ᓵ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ||𝙹⚍ ᓵᔑꖎꖎ ||𝙹⚍∷ ꖎ╎⎓ᒷ. Y𝙹⚍'∷ᒷ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ↸ᒷᔑ↸, ꖌ╎↸. I ᓵᔑリ ʖᒷ ᔑリ||∴⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ, ᔑリ||ℸ ̣ ╎ᒲᒷ, ᔑリ↸ i ᓵᔑリ ꖌ╎ꖎꖎ ||𝙹⚍ ╎リ 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ ᓭᒷ⍊ᒷリ ⍑⚍リ↸∷ᒷ↸ ∴ᔑ||ᓭ, ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ 'ᓭ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ᒲ|| ʖᔑ∷ᒷ ⍑ᔑリ↸ᓭ. N𝙹ℸ ̣ 𝙹リꖎ|| ᔑᒲ i ᒷ ̇/ℸ ̣ ᒷリᓭ╎⍊ᒷꖎ|| ℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ╎リᒷ↸ ╎リ ⚍リᔑ∷ᒲᒷ↸ ᓵ𝙹ᒲʖᔑℸ ̣ , ʖ⚍ℸ ̣ i ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ᔑᓵᓵᒷᓭᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᒷリℸ ̣ ╎∷ᒷ ᔑ∷ᓭᒷリᔑꖎ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ uリ╎ℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ sℸ ̣ ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷᓭ mᔑ∷╎リᒷ c𝙹∷!¡ᓭ ᔑリ↸ i ∴╎ꖎꖎ ⚍ᓭᒷ ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ ⎓⚍ꖎꖎ ᒷ ̇/ℸ ̣ ᒷリℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ∴╎!¡ᒷ ||𝙹⚍∷ ᒲ╎ᓭᒷ∷ᔑʖꖎᒷ ᔑᓭᓭ 𝙹⎓⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⎓ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᓵ𝙹リℸ ̣ ╎リᒷリℸ ̣ , ||𝙹⚍ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ᓭ⍑╎ℸ ̣. I⎓ 𝙹リꖎ|| ||𝙹⚍ ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ꖌリ𝙹∴リ ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ⚍リ⍑𝙹ꖎ|| ∷ᒷℸ ̣ ∷╎ʖ⚍ℸ ̣ ╎𝙹リ ||𝙹⚍∷ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ "ᓵꖎᒷ⍊ᒷ∷" ᓵ𝙹ᒲᒲᒷリℸ ̣ ∴ᔑᓭ ᔑʖ𝙹⚍ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ʖ∷╎リ⊣ ↸𝙹∴リ ⚍!¡𝙹リ ||𝙹⚍, ᒲᔑ||ʖᒷ ||𝙹⚍ ∴𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ⍑ᒷꖎ↸ ||𝙹⚍∷ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹リ⊣⚍ᒷ. B⚍ℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍ ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸リ'ℸ ̣ , ||𝙹⚍ ↸╎↸リ'ℸ ̣ , ᔑリ↸ リ𝙹∴ ||𝙹⚍'∷ᒷ !¡ᔑ||╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ !¡∷╎ᓵᒷ, ||𝙹⚍ ⊣𝙹↸↸ᔑᒲリ ╎↸╎𝙹ℸ ̣. I ∴╎ꖎꖎ ᓭ⍑╎ℸ ̣ ⎓⚍∷|| ᔑꖎꖎ 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ ||𝙹⚍ ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍ ∴╎ꖎꖎ ↸∷𝙹∴リ ╎リ ╎ℸ ̣. Y𝙹⚍'∷ᒷ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ↸ᒷᔑ↸, ꖌ╎↸↸𝙹.

Rage is one of the fundamental pieces of gaming. You get mad at a game, fine. We all do that. But that's no fucking reason to act all so fucking high and mighty and say "Oh, well, I don't get mad at the game, so that means I'm good. Ratio + get good," yadda yadda yadda.

You pretend you don't get mad at a game, you get nothing. You get no respect, no prize, no NOTHING. You get no recognition for having "anger management". Empathy is given to those that deserve it, same with relatability.

You acting so high and mighty is pouring fuel on a fire that was just about smouldering out, and then tossing a match on it for good measure. If you don't get the analogy, it's fucking simple: Shut the fuck up, before you cause someone to leave this place.

I'm fucking tired of conflict. Conflict here, conflict there, conflict FUCKING EVERYWHERE. Just, shut up.

And to everyone here, shut the fuck up. This conflict has lasted too long. Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

This morning I was at the beach, enjoying the pleasant weather while eating my sandwich and people-watching. I happened to notice a couple using sign language to communicate with each other. Back when I was still dating my now ex gf who was born Deaf, I made it my mission to learn sign language. So when I noticed the couple using sign language, it made me smile because that was me and my gf once. I was about to look the other way because I didn't wanna eavesdrop. But then I caught the guy telling the girl:

*"Poop during anal I can handle. It's the texture of the poop that might be my dealbreaker. I will keep fucking if I feel solid turds up your ass, but if your shit is runny and leaking all over my dick, hell no"*

I snorted so hard while laughing I coughed on my sandwich, which triggered my asthma. Due to my own carelessness, I had to fucking run to my car to retrieve my inhaler because I decided not to put it in my pocket where it belonged. Running made it worse. I underestimated how far I parked. By the time I got to the car, I was wheezing to the point of almost passing out. Thankfully I was able to get my hands on my inhaler in time. It was intense. I spent about 10 - 15 minutes just sitting in the car, catching my breath. Almost choked to death because I laughed at random people talking about poop.

TL:DR Watched a couple on the beach using sign language to communicate. I understood them. They were discussing poop. It made me laugh, which triggered my asthma and almost made me lose my life.

X is the amount of bitches you get. Y is time in months. If we put X/Y we can see the amount of bitches over time. Now for example we’ll have Y=5 which turns to X/5. Now how much will X be? It will end at X=0 due to the variable of “you get no bitches.” Now let’s do another problem to compare. X=1 which is 1 bitch. If you try to calculate this problem you will see that it comes up as an error, due to the variable stated before. Now the “No bitches theorem” states that no matter how much time you have (Y) the amount of bitches (X) you have will always be at 0.

Yo, Cye here, Mod for FNB. I literally cannot believe what is happening. MangoPull, a fucking youtuber with OVER 100K SUBS is actively trying to target us, on fake and petty means.

I’d like to preface this doc by stating that I’m a person of color, and I identify under the trans umbrella, with me being non-binary myself. Keep that in mind when we look at some of these claims.

“Racist, Homophobic and Disgusting behavior that many people at Friday Night Bloxxin’ has partaken in.”

Refer to my opening statement. If this was true, I wouldn’t have been hired here in the first place.

As always, Mango-fuckin’ Pull is clickbaiting us. This trigger warning literally makes the doc look far worse than it actually is. To clarify, the assault, rape and suicide mentions were severely out of context. No one on the FNB team has raped anyone. No one on the FNB team has assaulted anyone. I know that for a fucking fact as most staff members are around the age of 14-16.

This sentence is really fucking funny to me. You know why? It’s because MangoPull is the last fucking person to get offended by any of this. He’s pretending to care just so that he can earn sympathy points.

Okay? Keep in mind that you purposefully dug this up. Like, think about it. You might not have said it but you had to type nigga out on the fucking search bar. That’s pretty much the exact same fucking thing as robo’s doing here.

These screenshots were from November. Literally the month where robo said that she was going to change.

And yes, I did refer to robo by she/her, because guess what. Robo is transfem and bisexual.

Now, I don’t think I should debate whether or not retard should be considered a slur, but all of these were used in a joking manner. Not only that, in some of these screenshots, robo is referring to herself. Look at the dates. These messages were sent in December.

Who are you to comment on this? You’re literally a fucking content creator. Your videos have no soul, nothing put into it. You’re literally the definition of a cookie-cutter cash grab.

“They are not responsible enough to manage a large roblox game.” You’re not responsible enough to run a youtube channel if you’re constantly manipulating and extorting your viewers for money.

You did 0 research on this bit did you. No-one actually believed it was you. Stop thinking that you have some godly fucking fame that everyone you meet instantly recognizes it’s you. You’re delusional.

Zel was one of the people featured in the screenshots. It’s not very professional of you to not leave server members anonymous. Leaving them in could possibly get them harassed. But that’s what you want, right?

These messages were sent before swooshified was a moderator. He was hired around January, and both him, and the rules on the server, have changed a lot since then.

Now, I’m unsure of swooshified’s sexuality, and some might say that someone’s preferences should be kept to themselves, so I can’t exactly comment on this.

This message was said in response to a server member who was “”impersonating”” as javacoded. Take that as you will. This was also said before the staff team decided it was right to ban any kys related jokes.


Okay? What proof do you have that these messages are even real to begin with? If you’re pulling this card out at least show genuine proof that these screenshots were not doctored in any way.

The fact that you’re making an entire youtube video because robo ratioed you on twitter just proves that you’re not responsible enough to have a following, either. But hey, that’s just me.

Correction, Synergy no longer wishes to work on FNB. Simple as that. While he can be childish at times, most of these are jokes. Like seriously. Who the fuck says “Injected Booty Butt Nigga Rape Virus” as a slur.

You’re spreading misinformation, and manipulating your audience.

I’m going to say this. All of this could’ve been resolved privately. You could’ve talked to robo about everything, and I’m sure she’ll respond. She’s genuinely one of the nicest fucking people I’ve met online. Yet, you’ve taken it upon yourself to make an entire youtube video, and entire google document written in the shittiest font known to man, all because you got called out on twitter.

PROTIP: if you own a gun over a year without negligent discharging at least once, you aren't handling it enough. NDs are a natural part of handling weapons, just like tweaking your back is part of weightlifting and car accidents are part of driving. I ND several times a year because I actually HANDLE and know how to USE my weapons. It makes me a better firearms handler and marksman, and it's a small part of the price you pay in the sheepdog lifestyle Simple fact is, the "safety mentality" will build mental blocks in your head that will get you killed. You need to be comfortable putting your finger on the trigger and pointing the gun wherever you want no matter the time, place, or status of the weapon. Taking time to check whether the gun is loaded whenever you pick one up will serve to make you hesitate in a personal defense scenario. You fucking safety idiots are going to get people killed all because of this fucking "ND" shaming. Guns are inherently dangerous, you need to accept it.

It was a fine, sunny day in the mushroom kingdom.

The birds were chirping, the bees buzzing, the toads playing in the meadow.

It was the picture of paradise.

But tucked away in a dark corner, sat a lone castle.

Inside, a man sat hunched in the throne room chuckling greedily.

Around him sat hundreds upon hundreds of gold coins and jewels, stacked as high as the ceiling.

This man was Wario.

“Nyehehehe, boy do I love treasure” he said.

In fact, just staring at all the coins and jewels around him, got Wario a little… hot and bothered.

He could feel a lump growing in his pants, and started to gently palm his clothed crotch.

His large italian plumber cock started to leak pre-cum, forming a wet patch in the front of his pants.

Deciding he couldn’t take it anymore, Wario tore off his pants, and began to furiously rub his large member.

But it wasn’t enough.

Something was…lacking.

That’s when he eyed a lone coin just by his feet, and had a brilliant idea.

Spitting into his palm, Wario began to lube up his asshole.

Once his large chocolate starfish was well lubricated, he began to slowly pump one of his gloved fingers in and out.

Moaning in ecstasy, he stretched out his asshole in preparation for what was to come.

Deciding he felt ready.

Wario began to fist his still throbbing cock while picking up the coin and slowly teasing his asshole with it.

Inserting the edge, he cried out in bliss.

Little did he know, all the while, a peeping tom was watching this unfold.

Sneaky Waluigi was hidden behind a door like a sly Demetri fanfiction character, eyeing Wario with lust while fisting his long, hard stinky dick pickle.

Overcome with lust, Waluigi burst through the door.

Wario screamed, and in his shock, dropped the coin into his now wide asshole.

It sucked the coin up like a vacuum, into the depths of his bowels.

At first they both stood there, shocked, staring at each other, their cocks still pointing into the air.

Then Waluigi let out the tiniest moan.

Wario lunged at him, capturing him into a slow, passionate embrace.

Their mouths moved together as one, like two lovers doing a tango.

Moaning into the kiss, Waluigi began to fist Wario’s cock.

Wario did the same for Waluigi.

Breaking free for a breath of air, Waluigi whispered “Wario. I want you to take me. Make me yours.”

Warily only moaned in reply.

Waluigi bent over, sticking his firm ass cheeks into the air and spreading them with his gloved hands, revealing his tight, puckered asshole. ”Wario, take me. I want you inside me. Break me like a pot of gold!”

Wario readied his cock, teasing the entrance of Waluigi’s asshole.

Then, in one swift motion, he plunged his entire length into him.

Waluigi cried out in pain and bliss, and Wario moaned louder then ever before.

Beginning to slowly pump in and out, Wario wrecked Waluigi’s tight backdoor.

“WAAAHAHAHAH!” he screamed in ecstasy.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” screamed Waluigi in return, both in pain and pleasure at having Wario stretch his asshole to it’s limits.

“W-Waluigi! I’m coming!” shouted Wario.

“Do it, Wario. Come inside me! Make my waluweewee burst!” Wario roared a mighty roar, shooting his italian spunk into Waluigi’s wrecked rectum.

Waluigi also came, his member shooting great streams of white spunk all over the castle floor.

Coming down from their respective highs, Wario slid out of Waluigi, his asshole a mere shadow of it’s former self.

It was now but a large gaping hole, semen leaking out of it all over the pristine tiled floor.

Gathering Waluigi in his arms, Wario carried him to his chamber, where they collapsed on the bed, cuddled together.

“W-Wario… I think I… love you. Marry me?” At this, Wario’s eyes went as wide as saucers.

There was dead silence.

“W-Wario?” said Waluigi.

In response, Wario only let out an enormous fart, the coin popping out of his ass in the process.

Jarvis, looks like some shitposting sub on Reddit has reposted one of my bigoted tweets completely with context. I suspect it may be Whiplash that did this... the villain from the second movie. Remember? He was a big deal. I think. Mickey Rourke played him. Rorke? Iron Man 2 big bad guy with electric whips??? He had a pet bird????

War machine helped???? Well, anyway, you get it. Turns out people are caring about something on the internet. We need to make them feel stupid. Time is running out.

It seems people are using the online space as a way to express that they are against "BAD THING" but turns out "BAD THING" can't be solved by them talking about it alone. Insult anything that comes up, but also provide no solutions either. If they start citing statistics not from the FBI or CIA, block them, and tell them to cope. Seethe even, if necessary.

Be sure to spam memes that read as "you hate capitalism, yet you eat food??? curious." Call the new Batman movie "mid," and then please book tickets to see the new Batman movie. I haven't seen it yet. Use at least 300 of my 2,000 imbd accounts to bomb it with 1 star ratings regardless of if I enjoy it or not.

**Jarvis, Engage Wojak Protocals, pick NPC meme variant.** Up it to 200% epic levels, no, 420% (epic weed number) and throw the trans flag in there despite it not being relevant. Say that people's identifies are a "trend" but do it in a cool Rick and Morty kinda way.

Send Grimes a text begging for her to take me back. please, i cant believe its this difficult to get pussy while being the richest man in the world. i thought it would be easier. i even know memes. jarvis, buy me more hair. as much as possible. make it look like a dead muskrat and meld it into my scalp. ask her if she will take me back if I have more hair. she can abandon my child INTEL-RYZEN-120, thats fine. or whatever their name is.

Then dissolve all parent's blood diamond fortune into KRAIN-KOIN, jumping on the hype of a Ukraine meme centered crypto. Buy when it's at its highest, sell when it plummets, which will most likely be immediately. If anyone refers to us as the soyjak, call them the most appropriate slurs but use "\*" in place of one of the vowels for plausible deniability. If necessary use a full on "/s" but only if absolutely necessary.

That's an Avenger's level threat. Say "pronouns sucks" but spin it in a hyper-im-so-progressive-look-at-me kinda way. Don't elaborate if anyone asks further. Order a 12 pack of Pepsi Max on Amazon prime.

Torrent a random episode of Southpark to base this week's identity on, preferably one where the fat kid says something racist. So really any of them. upload elden ring to my second monitor, and order me the freshest nuggies off uber eats. **tip the driver $1.69 with the comment of "nice" and if they complain tell them to be thankful for anything. fire a missile at their honda civic. Kill their family.**

Actually, do that if they don't complain too. Charge back the $1.69 after

it is nearly 3am in the congo, wake up my child labor slaves up and tell them to work harder regardless of the situation. withhold any gruel until further notice, my stocks are down .03% and I blame them. If productivity declines beat them. If productivity improves, beat them harder.

Jarvis, I hear the new Captain America is black. Bring up pictures of segregation, photoshop the Black Captain America on them, and spam them on Twitter with the tag of **"RACISM STILL A THING???" I**t isn't because a black person was a thing that they weren't before. Also, put Obama in there for good measure.

**Call America a post-racial society. If anyone says anything that isn't praising me engage coping protocols.** Send gore site links to their grandmother. Find a way to incorporate being mean to trans people or anyone who is a sexuality that scares me but not in a direct way. Tell black people "the past is the Past," and somehow make it relevant to ukraine. Turn notifications off. load up trans fetish videos on to xvideos. Load up Ukraine fetish videos on to pornhub.

Load up trans Ukraine fetish videos to both xvideos and pornhub, upscale to 1080p, put them on every monitor. Set RGB to pulsating rainbow mode. Call in a bomb threat to Grimes next show if she rejects me and then make a post about how "men need to do better."

Gamer mode activate.

TURN ON AC/DC PLAYLIST, CLEAN VERSION. Load up that time I fought Girlboss Thanos.

Let's get these sons of bitches.

can he shut the fuck up for once ? I fucking hate this guy i want to fuck his wife so fucking bad i probably will end up doing so, and lock him in a room and whip his fake hair with a beef nerve and make him eat my dick just so he gets reminded that he was a bullied child
this fucking white monkey wannabe smart try hard loser with huge self confidence issues full of virtual money and virtual fame how the fuck does it feel Elon that every normie with 115 IQ follows you but no real scientist take you seriously ? How does it feel being the autist of hollywood you fucking broken baboon ? Now what, you try to be the world leader ? You think you’re a visionary telling yourself hey i’m the space reddit guy i will live on mars i’m the leader of earth fuck yeah i post 4chan memes they love me
GUESS WHAT
THERE ARE PEOPLE ON EARTH THAT WILL OVERPOWER YOU IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE
YOU’LL GET MY DICK IN YOUR ANUS AND YOU WILL SCREAM WITH JOY

Does it really matter if the condom is new or used?

My boyfriend and I are both very inexperienced and are trying to learn. When we bought a condom, he took the new one and used it for a while, then took the used one and used it for a while. I don't know how long the new one lasted. He also used condoms he had, but he used the one I got.

Does it really matter?

Dear [r/Teenagers](https://www.reddit.com/r/Teenagers/).
Pwease shut up.
I get it, you’we howny. But nyobody wants t-to heaw about aww the x3 times you’ve mastuwbated t-to youw sibwing, and nyobody wants t-to heaw about һоѡ sweats youw tits got in the x3 w-way of something. Nyobody wants t-to heaw youw “pwease be my fwiend 🥺👉👈” cwap when notices buldge posting stuff wike screams this is exactwy the x3 weason why you have nyo fwiends. You compwain about nyot having bfs/gfs and yet >w< you post gawbage with zewo sewf awawenyess. “Boobs tits ow (・\`ω´・) a-ass” һоѡ sweats about gwass you cum stainyed wandwhawe. Go outside. Get some vitamin sweats D. Get some fwiends. Get something othew than ewection evewy time you see a woman.

She was like ohh noo jonathan you are got me hahaha and we embraced, this is why I love her, she always lafs at my truths and today she saiyed "jim you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gay!" I say what? She say "jim I am a man"

Dear r/teenagers,

Please shut up.

I get it, you’re horny. But nobody wants to hear about all the times you’ve masturbated to your sibling, and nobody wants to hear about һоѡ your tits got in the way of something. Nobody wants to hear your “pwease be my friend 🥺👉👈” crap when posting stuff like this is exactly the reason why you have no friends. You complain about not having bfs/gfs and yet you post garbage with zero self awareness. “Boobs tits or ass” һоѡ about grass you cum stained landwhale. Go outside. Get some vitamin D. Get some friends. Get *something* other than erection every time you see a woman.

JUST BEAT UP THE LANDLORD

NOW IM CURRENTLY HOMELESS…

SOLD MY AMIIBOS…

SOLD MY 13 COPIES OF PATH OF RADIANCE…

AT LEAST… I STILL HAVE IKE IN SPIRIT…

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS…

IKE, I DON’T THINK IM YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIER ANYMORE…

I was grunting “oh shit, fuck, fuck” in the shower, but it was because I saw a mosquito on the wall and I was trying to get rid of it.

I was struggling and breathing so hard because I was tired from the effort, and when I finally did get rid of it, my mother came out from her room.

She told me that she either thought I was taking a dump, or trying to jerk off in the shower. I was really embarrassed, and I told her the truth, and she told me to stop being so dramatic.

Please shut up.

I get it, you’re horny. But nobody wants to hear about all the times you’ve masturbated to your sibling, and nobody wants to hear about һоѡ your tits got in the way of something. Nobody wants to hear your “pwease be my friend 🥺👉👈” crap when posting stuff like this is exactly the reason why you have no friends. You complain about not having bfs/gfs and yet you post garbage with zero self awareness. “Boobs tits or ass” һоѡ about grass you cum stained landwhale. Go outside. Get some vitamin D. Get some friends. Get *something* other than erection every time you see a woman.

Please shut up.

I get it, you’re horny. But nobody wants to hear about all the times you’ve masturbated to your sibling, and nobody wants to hear about һоѡ your tits got in the way of something. Nobody wants to hear your “pwease be my friend 🥺👉👈” crap when posting stuff like this is exactly the reason why you have no friends. You complain about not having bfs/gfs and yet you post garbage with zero self awareness. “Boobs tits or ass” һоѡ about grass you cum stained landwhale. Go outside. Get some vitamin D. Get some friends. Get something other than erection every time you see a woman.