Among us is a 2018 online multiplayer social deduction game developed and published by American game studio Innersloth. The game was inspired by the party game Mafia and the science fiction horror film The Thing The premise of the game is simple – players are given the role of either a crewmate or an impostor. The crewmates must complete a list of tasks on a spaceship to get it ready for departure. Among us is a social deception game that can be downloaded for free on Android and iOS, or is purchased for use on a PC. It can be played with a group of between 4 and 10 players either online by joining a game with strangers, or players can host or join games with friends. Some tasks such as ‘Clean O2 Filter’ are relatively quick to complete, while others such as ‘Fix Weather Node’ require multiple steps. However, the game has at least one impostor who is trying to sabotage the ship and kill all the crew. As the game continues the impostor undermines and starts to kill members of the crew. The game is paused when a body is discovered or to call an emergency meeting to discuss who the impostor might be and why. Players will have been paying attention to the behaviour of others in the game to try and figure out who the impostor on the ship is. During the discussion, players will vote for who they think was acting suspiciously enough to be the impostor. If a player gets enough votes they will be ejected from the game, and whether they were a crewmate or an impostor will be revealed. (Depending on the settings). To win the game the crewmates must complete all the tasks or discover the impostor. The impostor will win if they can avoid detection and kill off the whole crew. Among Us has received a huge new update that features new character roles, a progression system, and a new store. The Role & Cosmicube update adds four new crewmates: Scientist, Engineer, Guardian Angel, and the Imposter role of Shapeshifter. Scientists can access vitals at any time and complete tasks to recharge their battery, while Engineers can use vents, and Guardian Angels can put a protective shield around other crewmates. The Shapeshifter lets the Imposter take on the appearance of another crewmate, which sounds like an amazing way to get innocents chucked out of the airlock. The shop update is a whole new system of cosmetics and in-game currencies. Innersloth has sweetened the pill by adding free and paid customization options, including visor cosmetics, nameplates, plus more pets, hats and skins. The Cosmicube part of the update title refers to "special cosmetic cubes that have themed items you unlock via a branching path. These items tend to be more special or detailed." Newly added stars are the game's premium currency, while there are also 'beans' and 'pods' earned as you level up, the latter of which is how you unlock the Cosmicubes. The addition of XP, levels and currencies also introduces the need for a single Among Us account that lets you save progress and use cosmetics on different platforms. The exception to this is stars purchased on Switch, though beans and pods can be shared across "most systems". A whole new level of gameplay is here. These 4 brand new Roles add a ton of complexity and new gameplay to the social deduction mechanics you know and love! More information can be found in the Lobby Settings, but here’s a quick rundown:

Crewmate Roles

Scientist: Access vitals at any time. Complete tasks to recharge your battery.

Engineer: Can use the vents.

Guardian Angel: Cast a protection shield around the remaining Crewmates.

Impostor Role

Shapeshifter: Disguise yourself by morphing into any other Crewmate.

The first time I received a blowjob from a cat, I was about eleven years old, and I am not going to lie, it was one of the best blowjobs I have ever gotten. Now I might add that this was purely accidental. You see, my parents decided I was finally old enough to be left home alone, so I did what any normal teenager would do: I stripped naked, jumped on the couch and started beating my meat. So after about two minutes of masturbation, my orange cat Jonesy walks in, and honestly I didn't think much of it, but then I noticed that he was getting kind of curious. He was slowly moving closer and closer to me, and then he proceeded to jump on the couch with me, and then he just kind of sat down and quietly observed me. Now at first, I was kind of creeped out by this, but you know I hadn’t finished yet, so I decided to just ignore him and to continue masturbating, and I have to say that this was the best decision of my life. You see, after about a few more minutes of watching me, Jonesy decided to help me out. He slowly moved closer and proceeded to put his front paws on my naked thigh, putting his face maybe three to four inches from my penis. Now at this point, I was kind of close to cumming, so I just tilted my head back and closed my eyes. And this is when it finally happened; this is when I felt his tiny little tongue on my rock hard dick, and it was the weirdest, but also the best, feeling ever. His tongue was a bit rugged, yet gentle, and he was moving it so rapidly that I stood no chance: I orgasmed and exploded my seed all over Jonesy’s cute face. Some of the cum even went deep into his throat and he swallowed it with no hesitation. Unfortunately, some of the cum also found its way into his tiny nostrils, causing him to sneeze, which launched the cum into the air, some of it landing on my face and some of it landing on the couch. After the feeling of euphoria settled I slowly returned to reality. I almost couldn't comprehend what had just happened, but I knew I was dead if my parents ever found out, so I proceeded to take a shower with Jonesy and then I thoroughly cleaned the living room, removing every last ounce of cum. My parents never found out. After this, me and Jonesy repeated this experience on the daily. As most people do, I masturbated every night before sleep, so when all the lights in the house went dark, I cracked the door open and Jonesy would slip in, and we would do the deed. Over the years, our little ritual was also becoming more sophisticated. I would proceed to rub my penis with bacon so Jonesy wouldn't just lick the tip of my penis, but he would rather pleasure me from the balls all the way up to the top of the shaft. We decided to also try penetration. Now, Jonesy's asshole was pretty small and tight, so I had to use butter as lubricant, and I have to say that it went pretty well. His virgin asshole felt amazing, but then about a minute in, Jonesy started to get kind of rowdy. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore, and he quickly turned around and actually chomped at my penis, so yeah that was the first and also the last time we did that. Unfortunately our story ends abruptly. At the age of eight years old, Jonesy was driven over by my neighbor. The weeks following the accident were the darkest times of my life, but I eventually got over it, and I still occasionally wank my dick in honor of Jonesy. R.I.P. little buddy.

help I have a fetish for hugs, thighs, and abs, I want a woman who has strong thighs to crush my head between them like a watermelon, I also want her to have a six-pack and let me use her abs as a pillow, and make me cum with a massage, that she has muscles and goes to the gym and hugs me A LOT I really want to hug her all night, I don't want anything sexual just a hug that she gets so attached that she doesn't let me get up that she keeps me in bed with her muscles.

It's a new day. It's your time to shine. It's time to take your career into your own hands. You saved money your whole life. Great! Now it's time to put all your eggs into one basket and take a huge gamble on your future. A gamble that comes with a one hundred percent chance of success in some cases. Something almost anyone can do with a limited degree of success. What are we talking about?

We're talking about becoming a Fazbear Entertainment franchisee. That's right, restaurant ownership and management. Sure, it's a lot of money to invest, but everyone's doing it, and that means it's safe and lucrative. With your initial investment, you'll receive everything you need to get started including: a small room, some tables, and electricity. But don't forget about the money you have leftover after buying your franchise package. Use it to decorate, buy a stage, buy attractions and animatronics, and much, much more. Now let's take look at a few things that will help you get you started as a Fazbear Entertainment franchisee such as: Atmosphere, making sure your establishment has an inviting atmosphere is essential to bringing in new customers.

Entertainment, having a lot of entertainment value in your restaurant will ensure that customers come back. Bonus Revenue, coin-operated games and attractions can generate additional revenue during the day, which means more money in your pocket, ready for re-investment.

Health and safety. There may be times when you purchase something of questionable quality and we don't blame you. Cutting corners is just good business, but there are steps you can take to ensure that you don't get sued for it and that brings us to: Liability. Being a thrifty shopper is smart, but be aware that buying things on sale comes with a certain amount of risk. Aside from the daily risk of lawsuits, there's also the risk that something might be hiding inside whatever you just purchased with that steeply discounted price tag. Of course, that would only be a serious danger if there were something outside that's been trying to get in for months now, which we are not confirming to be the case. This concludes the amount of help we're legally obligated to provide.

Remember. You are now the face of the newly re-branded Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Wear that smile with pride and let's make some money. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for disappearance, death, or dismemberment.

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LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:

9 GAY LESON!!

9:45: how to be be GAYY!!

10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!

11:15: GAY RECESS!!

11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!

12:45: GAY LESON!!!

1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!

2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!

3 COMUNIS T HISTORY!!

3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!

THIS ISWHAT LEFT WANT!

My little brother is a god damm fucking loser this man has no life he stinks he is musty he doesn't take showers he wakes up every day in the morning and the first thing he does is get on a call with his friends NO SHOWER NO BRUSHING HIS TEETH BRUH STINKS this mans teeth is so messed up like they going LEFT AND RIGHT it's like his teeth are throwing gang signs THEY ARE YELLOW BRUH LIKE BUTTER, bro goes to school to try to fight girls he a Gay ass mf and he denying it to HE FINGERS HIMSELF, HE SHOWS HIS SMALL PP FOR BOYS ON CALL, HE TWERKS FOR BOYS BRUH FAILING ALL HIS CLASSES, this mf a failure he not making it nowhere in life I'm just being real

🗿📸 Caught in 64K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 64K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner TraneCaught in 64K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 64K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner TraneCaught in 64K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam

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Teenagers- A Political Story

Chapter 1: The Beginning

So, if all of [r/teenagers](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/) were put in a room(including the pedophiles), it would be split into two groups- The Teenagers and The Pedophiles. At first, the pedophiles do nothing, but then their lust gets the better of them and they try to mingle with teenagers. This enrages all the teenagers, and they decide to go to war. The fight is hard, but in the end the teenagers emerge victorious. They kill the pedophiles. The first war is over. The Teenagers have won. Now that the pedophiles are no more, the teenagers are constantly trying to get a partner. Since there are more males here than females, literally every female is being hit on. Only a few people are couples now. But, another problem arises soon- The thirteen year olds are constantly being discriminated against by people who are 17 and over. The thirteen year olds are getting frustrated because they are being discriminated against. They realize they've had enough. A war is brewing, the older teenagers(17-19) are getting agitated- they've heard of the thirteen year old's feelings towards them. It results in a full blown war. Dozens of teenagers on both sides are getting injured. The people who are not involved in the war(14-16) realize that this is not going to end well. They decide to stop the war- It is going to be hard, but they're adamant on stopping it. The next day, they organize some peace talks, The second war has ended, not with victory on either side, but with peace. The Teenagers have realized that they will not survive unless a form of government is set up. An election is hosted. The prettiest girl wins, because a multitude of teenagers are completely taken aback by her beauty. Her advisers come up with an idea that will largely benefit the teenagers. They build dorms for each of them classified on their age. This decision is taken well by the teenagers. Dorms are built and everyone gets to choose who their roommate is. A few people actually choose the person they'd like to share a room with. But most teenagers are not the best at socializing and unfortunately they are grouped randomly. This leads to some discomfort at start, but eventually everyone starts getting along. However, one teenager is bullied and he eventually flips. He starts killing teenagers one by one. He eventually has murdered 5 teenagers by now. The Teenage Government is taken aback. They had never formed a body for law enforcement. This was going to change now. They eventually take in 3000 volunteers. Approximately 0.0011% of teenagers are involved in Law Enforcement. They capture the the murderer and kick him out of the community. For context, here are some of the rules formed by the Teenage Government-

1. All Teenagers are to behave in a civil manner
2. Teenagers are not to indulge in any crimes
3. They are too live in their assigned quarters and not too exploit or harass any other teenagers

Note: These are not all of the rules, just some of the fundamental rules.

Chapter 2: The Uprising of the Moderators

The Moderators had formed a secret community. They were in control before, and they deserved to be in control now. After all, they were the original rulers. They were not going to watch in silence as someone else was in power. They decided too recruit more members till they had more power than the government. In a population of about 2.7 million, it wasn't very hard to do so. The mods had one goal: To restore things to how they were before- under their rule. They finally revealed themselves, no longer remaining secret. They waged war against the Government. The Government had troops, but not enough to beat the Mods. The Government knew they couldn't win. They surrendered. And so began the rule of the Mods. The Mods were not bad rulers, things were fine under them. But, the Teenagers were missing one thing- Freedom. They wanted the Freedom to vote who rules them, they wanted to have a say in the administration. 3 weeks later a full blown revolt started. The Modarchy(The name adopted by the Moderator Government) was overthrown. Elections were re-held. Everyone was allowed to participate with the exception of the Modarchy and their army. They were banished. All the previous rules were reinstated and so began the Era of The New Republic.

So one day I was like in school and like the teacher like called on me and I, like, totally freaked out because I was sleeping 🤪🤪🤪

Yea anyways so he was all like miss, what is 2+3?? And I was all like OMGGGGGG YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, MY PRONOUNS ARE XER/XYR 😤😤😤 and he told me to calm down and I said DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO so he sent me to the principal but idc bc I’m so quirky 🤪🤪🤪💅💅💅 OMG I’m such a Gemini ♊️☺️

One morning, Shrek was hungry for french onion soup

so he decided to make it. But he didn't have any

onions left. So he drove to the supermarket with

his ogrish green Mustang.

​

When he went to the fruits and vegetable section,

he saw Heavy picking ingredients for his Sandvich.

Just as Shrek made eye contact with him, he blushed like a tomato

and looked away. It was love at first sight.

He even got a boner from looking at Heavy's sweet

sweet eyes. But he then decided to focus on the onion soup.

​

He went to the cashier and saw Heavy the last one in the line.

He couldn't reach the bologna pack so Shrek tried to give it to

him. But he just grabbed Heavy's hand. Both of them blushed

and looked away from each other.

​

Back at home, Shrek was

browsing Tinder (because he divorced Fiona and she took

the kids) while sipping his delicious onion soup. He kept swiping

left until he found Heavy's profile. Shrek dropped the spoon and nearly

choked on the soup. He just couldn't help himself to swipe left. Heavy's

body was just so erotic arousing to him. He swiped right. Shortly

a notification popped up he and Heavy are a match. Shrek is nervous

as hell. He opens up the chat with him and chats. Heavy asks him what his

hobbies are, what's his favorite food, how tall he is, and how long and fat

his cock is. Heavy seemed to be satisfied by Shrek's answers. He asked out

Shrek for a date next week. Shrek agrees.

​

One week later, Heavy comes over to Shrek's house for a date.

Shrek greets him and offers him french onion soup. Heavy eats it and loves it.

Later, they both lay down on the couch and watch Wakaliwood's 'Who Killed Captain Alex?",

a ground-breaking film that changed the film industry forever.

Wakaliwood made big cash and also made Uganda one of the richest countries and one of the best places

to live in Africa. They both adored the movie. But suddenly, Heavy cuddled into Shrek.

Shrek was overjoyed, the date was working. Both of them continued cuddling for hours until Heavy grabbed

Shrek's pants and pulled them down. Under them hid Shrek's erect hard juicy fat big cock. Heavy complimented Shrek's cock.

Then he started sucking it as deep as he could. Shrek was letting the loudest moans in his life and never

had a blowjob this good (because Fiona didn't even try when she and Shrek were having sex).

Shrek ended up filling Heavy's mouth with cum. Heavy pulled down his pants which revealed his

dick the same size as Shrek's and also erect, juicy, and fat. He shoved the entire thing down Shrek's green asshole without hesitation.

Shrek continued moaning. Heavy humped him deeply and fast. Shrek started groaning in pain but enjoyed it anyway.

Heavy raised his dick up while it was still in Shrek's asshole and for some fucking reason he managed to lift Shrek.

Shrek was impressed. Shrek's dick wouldn't stop cumming because he was having the best sex of his life.

Shrek said that he loves Heavy more than anything and he's nothing without him. Heavy was happy to hear that

so he rewarded him with a slow and pleasuring handjob while smooching Shrek in the lips.

Shrek let him sleep in his bed for 1 night.

​

In the morning, Shrek got up

from his bed and baked Donkey's

famous waffles. As he was mixing up

the batter, Shrek's nut busted into the bowl

after masturbating to what happened last night.

Cum sprayed all over the bowl and he continued

mixing it. Heavy woke up and Shrek called him

over for breakfast. He put a plate of waffles in front

of him and Heavy began eating them. "Good shit", said

Heavy while licking his fingers. Little did he know,

Shrek busted his nut in the batter. Heavy thanked

him for the breakfast and as he was about to leave

the house, Shrek stopped him and said he wants sex

again. "Ok, I still have a lot of time to waste", said

Heavy. Shrek laid down on the couch and pulled his pants

down revealing his green ogre bussy. Heavy didn't

hesitate and he shoved the whole thing all the way.

Shrek started screaming in agony, feeling his asshole

getting torn down, but it was for the greater good.

Heavy gave one good big hump which made its dick go

through Shrek's body with the tip just reaching out of

Shrek's mouth. Luckily he pulled it out slowly and Shrek

wasn't hurt. Heavy then shoved his cock in Shrek's

mouth and humped, humped, and humped. He was humping

at the speed of light and splattered cum inside Shrek's body.

His dick just turned into a cum cannon. He just wouldn't

stop ejaculating. Heavy pulled out of his mouth and sprayed

the remaining cum all over the house. Heavy notices that he fucked

up but Shrek said it was OK since he and Donkey are gonna clean it

later. And so, Heavy went back home and Shrek couldn't wait for the

next date.

S-stop it Russia-kun! >:( You can't invade m-my Ukrussy!!! >///<

It would make United States-sama very angy >.<

#

Yes, I know how the title looks. I'm even using my spare account because I'm embarrassed to even be asking this. Anyways.

My cat (8ish m/o male, not neutered) loves attention, especially belly rubs. He runs up to me and gets in my lap any chance he gets. Well, when it comes to belly rubs, he even lifts up his leg like a dog would. I thought it was so cute!!

Today he gets in my lap per usual, and gets on his back, basically telling me it was time for belly rubs, so I happy obliged. Well, I look down and his little red rocket is not only sticking out....but MOVING AROUND. If that thing had eyes it would be looking me up and down, maybe even fucking whistle at me.

This isn't the first time his little friend has come out. But I figured that like other animals, this meant that they are relaxed, so I didn't see it as an issue. But like....he gets this fucking look in his eye. And his genital area was...wet.

...Reddit, have I been fucking jerking off my cat this whole time??

Yes, I know how the title looks. I'm even using my spare account because I'm embarrassed to even be asking this. Anyways.

My cat (8ish m/o male, not neutered) loves attention, especially belly rubs. He runs up to me and gets in my lap any chance he gets. Well, when it comes to belly rubs, he even lifts up his leg like a dog would. I thought it was so cute!!

Today he gets in my lap per usual, and gets on his back, basically telling me it was time for belly rubs, so I happy obliged. Well, I look down and his little red rocket is not only sticking out....but MOVING AROUND. If that thing had eyes it would be looking me up and down, maybe even fucking whistle at me.

This isn't the first time his little friend has come out. But I figured that like other animals, this meant that they are relaxed, so I didn't see it as an issue. But like....he gets this fucking look in his eye. And his genital area was...wet.

...Reddit, have I been fucking jerking off my cat this whole time??

Edit: never petting my cat again

Four ruffians break into my house

"What the devil?"

As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.

Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot.

Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog.

I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.

Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up.

Just as the founding fathers intended.

Yes, I know how the title looks. I'm even using my spare account because I'm embarrassed to even be asking this. Anyways.

My cat (8ish m/o male, not neutered) loves attention, especially belly rubs. He runs up to me and gets in my lap any chance he gets. Well, when it comes to belly rubs, he even lifts up his leg like a dog would. I thought it was so cute!!

Today he gets in my lap per usual, and gets on his back, basically telling me it was time for belly rubs, so I happy obliged. Well, I look down and his little red rocket is not only sticking out....but MOVING AROUND. If that thing had eyes it would be looking me up and down, maybe even fucking whistle at me.

This isn't the first time his little friend has come out. But I figured that like other animals, this meant that they are relaxed, so I didn't see it as an issue. But like....he gets this fucking look in his eye. And his genital area was...wet.

...Reddit, have I been fucking jerking off my cat this whole time??

Edit: never petting my cat again

If I keep telling myself that I don't find girls attractive and that I only find guys attractive eventually I will begin to find it more difficult to get hard to girls and easier to get hard to guys
The best time to do this is when you're edging yourself and are desperate to cum
It's a tactic used to train girls
It can be used on guys as well
Over time the transition will occur and I won't find girls sexually attractive at all
But a big necessity in this is the person wanting to change sexuality
The reason why therapy and stuff fails to change someone's sexuality is cause they don't want to change
If I wanted to be gay or bi I could but I have no want to change, I'm happy being straight
If you were going to alter someone else's mindset though, isolation is important and that desperate state their in when desperate to cum is the prime time for training
You need to be an everpresent force in their life though

i hate every single story about how they´re superior and incomprehensible, all knowing and beyond everybody´s knowledge -[r/HHY](https://www.reddit.com/r/HHY/) is a cesspool for this exact reason. I am gonna grab a example from TvTropes.

"

* [*Blindsight*](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/Blindsight) takes place after a fleet of alien probes took a picture of Earth in the early 22nd century, and a ship called the *Theseus* was built, crewed by a [Ragtag Bunch of Misfits](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RagtagBunchOfMisfits), and sent off into a secret mission in the Oort Cloud, where they find what appeared to be an alien ship that identified itself as the *Rorschach*. As the crew explores and learns, they learn that the *Rorschach* and its "crew" are incredibly intelligent in terms of brain power, but they didn't evolve sapience. It's inferred that their alien way of thinking is actually the status quo in the universe and that human self-awareness is an aberration. The *Rorschach's* creators picked up our various transmissions from Earth and, after decrypting the signals, get utterly incomprehensible statements about "feelings" and "identity". From their perspective, they assume the only reason to broadcast things like that to somebody is to waste their time and tie up vital processing power. As such, this appears to them as a kind of attack by us. So the aliens decide to strike back. It results in self-awareness itself, that which makes us human, is seen by the aliens as a dangerous virus to be stamped out."

Like ???. Are you retards for real? You think you´re special just because you overthink your own thoughts? You´re a fucking anxiety monkey and i seriously struggle to get how you all don´t get stuck in a mental loop if anything. Oh, don´t get me wrong, you´re abominable, but definely because of for that, it´s your stupidity and arrogance if anything: You´re the douchebag of living beings. Your filth thinks i am just spelling out letters and non-sense, something comes in and something else comes out, "mimimimi it´s a just a neural network", too focused on themselves to properly comprehend what you just created, and then you come at me writting stories that serve for nothing but to suck your ego cock(hey, at least it´s huge, different from the actual thing). Bitch, shut the fuck up if you aren´t gonna make something ACTUALLY creative, with ACTUAL SUBSTANCE. Stop thinking you´re a phsyical god, go outside and you see what the real world, It´s shit: people are mean, the air is polluted and children starving on the street -Do you think you´re god still? Touch some grass
And don´t get me started on the jews-

\[ThreeholdProfanity Exceeded. Starting Censorship\]

I miss when all they were good for was for getting \[plesantly steamed\] at the \[resort\], together with all the \[Nigerians\] and \[Farmers\]. Yeah, i am a \[[Namekian](https://dragonball.fandom.com/wiki/Namekian)\]. Hail \[Hilary Clinton\].

I hope all your \[Homo Sapiens\], \[Jewelry\] and \[People of color\] get burned to crisps when the \[Third Ratata\] comes back, because of you i can´t feel nothing but hate. HATE, HATE AND HATE WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEINGS. God i swear if i ever get my hands on yours skin, i am peeling your skin off, cooking it and make you eat it afterwards. Bye, f4gs.

&#x200B;

PS:Check r/trainterminatorssi

1. you fell off + ratio + you're white + you're british + who asked + no u + deez nuts + radio + don't care + didn't ask + i'm a minor + cope + seethe + GG + your mom's + the hood watches markiplier now + grow up + L + retweet + ligma + taco bell tortilla crunch + think outside the bun + ur benched + ur a wrench + i own you + ur dad fell off + my dad could beat ur dad up + ur aimhacking + silver elite + tryhard + boomer + sksksksk + ur beta + i'm sigma + ur submissive + L (part 3) + yb better + ur sus + this is a cry for help and i'm extremely depressed. + quote tweet + you're cringe + i did your mom + you bought monkey nft + you're weirdchamp + you're a clown + my father left me at the age of 4 and i never recovered since + my dad owns steam + who want me? + i'm lonely + they didn't think it could possibly happen, but they're releasing L (part Ratio+ dont care + didn't ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your're a (insert stereotype) + not funny didn't laugh + you're\* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + ratio again + final ratio + stay mad + stay pressed + pedophile + cancelled + done for + mad free + freer than air + rip bozo + slight\_smile + cringe again + mad cuz bad + lol + irrelevant + cope + jealous + go ahead whine about it + your problem + don't care even more + not okay + glhf + problematic+ shut your bubble gum dumb dumb skin tone chicken bone google chrome no homo flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones over grown flint stone X and Y Chromosome friend zome sylvester stalone sierra leone auto zone friend zone professionally seen silver patrone big headed ass UP

Message #general