⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠢⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⢠⠂⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢤⡀⢂⠀⢨⠀⢀⡠⠈⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⡖⠒⠶⠤⠭⢽⣟⣗⠲⠖⠺⣖⣴⣆⡤⠤⠤⠼⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠘⣺⡟⢻⠻⡆⠀⡏⠀⡸⣿⢿⢞⠄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⡀⠤⡀⡀⡔⠉⣏⡿⠛⠓⠊⠁⠀⢎⠛⡗⡗⢳⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⠨⡇⠃⠀⢻⠁⡔⢡⠒⢀⠀⠀⡅⢹⣿⢨⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠠⢼⠀⠀⡎⡜⠒⢀⠭⡖⡤⢭⣱⢸⢙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠸⢁⡀⠿⠈⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡍⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢢⣫⢀⠘⣿⣿⡿⠏⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠊⠀⣀⠎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⢴⡦⡴⢶⣞⣁⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠐⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⢀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀

Alright, so here’s the dealio.

I have a large Italian family with many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera. Every once in awhile we’ll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents’ wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. They’re long gone now, but it’s the memory that counts, and we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages, rivaling thanksgiving dinner.

Now upon the eve of this anniversary all “da boys” (as us men in the family affectionately call ourselves) gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown Boston. They only accept cash, very “old school” feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the place is a blast, with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans occurring, but not last night...

Now before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family, my mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, southern origins, around the mid-Atlantic part of the country. Because of this, she’s always viewed the family as “working class”, with her posh accent sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonians. By extension, I’ve always felt I had to prove to my family that I can “hang” with them so to speak, and in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit circle.

Now let’s cut back to last night at the bar. Laughs, drinks, and stories all around the bar as we enjoy ourselves. My cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink. At this point I’m already quite drunk, but accept for the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinny asks me “how big is your dick? I know you’re packing a huge one Anon, right?”

Of course my other cousins all groan with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly, unaware of the ramifications of my response.

“4.5 inches” I say too confidently, and suddenly all eyes are on me.

“Drink anon, I know you’re bullshitting me man!” says Vinny, with a twinge of nervous angst in his voice.

“I’m serious Vin, that’s all I got, haha”

Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response. Vinny attempts to get everyone focused back on the game, and everyone resumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just majorly fucked up.

After leaving the bar, my uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulder and says “Kid, please tell me you’re just fucking around about your cock size”

“No paul, Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” I say indignantly

“Anon, don’t you know everyone in this family is packing fat schlong? For Christ sakes I’m on the smaller side and still clock out around 7 inches.”

“So what? Why the hell does penis size matter to you so much?” I’m starting to get worried at this point, I’ve never seen Paul look at me with such intensity.

“Matter to me? It’s matters to the whole damn family! Cock size is more than a number, it quantifies your entire personality. You can’t call yourself a member of this family if your walking around with a fucking baby carrot between your legs”

Paul went on explaining the history of this family, and how the men found success through leveraging their superior cocks, both literally and figuratively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend, with a massive 10 inch meat cannon. Apparently during a final 200 meter dash in highschool, my father won by enlarging his penis so much and preformed a pelvic to win the race. I always felt like I never lived up to my father’s athletic record, but now I know that I come short in more ways than one.

So how could my dad’s cock be so big, and mine be so small? I had to investigate.

It turns that penis endowment correlates with genes on both the X and Y chromosomes, meaning that both my mother and father’s genetics are responsible. My father’s side obviously is known for their legendary sausages, so I knew I had to speak with my mother.

She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members’ genitalia to me for some reason... odd. I knew I had to investigate further, so I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. Turns out, the family has relatively average penis sizes, but all larger than mine. Combined they averaged about 6 inches.

Here’s what makes no sense, if my dad’s side has an average of 8 inches, and my mom’s side has an average of 6 inches, why don’t I fall within that range? I suspected my mother’s hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret, so I went digging.

My mom was friends with a man she knew from law school named Brian, and I always suspected she might have had a thing for him. I reach out to talk, and he gladly accepts.

Over the phone, I ask him “So how big is your cock?”

“My cock? Ahh, unfortunately I was born with a rather small 3 inch cock, but it gets the job done. It’s about average in my family”

Bingo, what lies in between 3 and 6? 4.5. Brian was my father. But before I had a chance to ask him, the phone line disconnected.

My father stands across from me, holding the phone cord in his hand. He had been on the other line, and must have figured it out.

“I always knew...” he said with a solemn look in his eye. He sulked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy to face the rest of the family.

I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I could demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock.

The dinner party was about to start, my mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn’t show up. Nobody bothered to look at me, and when they did catch my eyes I only saw disdain.

I realized now was the chance, and stood up on the table.

“I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller cock out into the air for everyone to see.

At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes...

“Tough talk for a fella with a small cock”

He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively.

He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their cocks and prepared to engage in an all out melee.

The smell of musty dicks filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of cum to fly across the room as artillery.

The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse.

Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch cock in hand.

“You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy”

He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three cocks at once.

Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and cum, dripping from the walls and ceiling.

I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault.

TL;DR: I revealed my cock length to my family, which escalated into a massive war.

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Whenever I ejaculate a gallon of cum, I always proceed to make an elongated "ahhhhh" sound, as I feel it compliments the quality of my cum. It really ties the bow on the whole quaffing experience.

I began doing this early on in my life after noticing my father doing it habitually. There's something about voicing your enjoyment despite what others around you may feel or think about it. It was as if my father knew that people found it to be flagrant yet he wasn't going to allow their desires to dictate his behavior. He was savoring his cum and didn't care who knew it.

It's the audible representation of "queezing". When I hear people making this sound of serenity, I'm reminded of the beauty of the entire world. The bee pollinating the flower. The flower giving oxygen to the world. The world giving beauty to all life and the wondrous circle of life continues. I hear this "ahhhh" and it reverberates throughout my soul's entirety, allowing me to immediately become more relaxed and grateful for life.

Just a thought about Em's balls

I’m curious about Eminem’s penis. It may sound Weird but hear me out when I say Something just doesn’t line up with this mans junk. In 2000 on the Marshall Mathers LP on the track “Bitch Please II” he opens his verse with “Aww, naww, big Slim Dogg. Eighty pound balls, dick six inch long” So we establish in the year 2000 his dick is six inches and his balls are 80 pounds. In the year 2018 though, on Kamikaze he says “Wait, got the eeriest feelin', somethin' evil is lurkin' I'm no conspiracy theorist but somethin' here is a foot.Oh yeah, it's my dick” so now we know his dick is a foot. So in 18 years his dick has doubled in size. Here’s where it gets weird. On his song “Big Weenie” in 2004 off of his album “Encore” he states “my weenie is much bigger than yours is Mine is like stickin' a banana between 2 oranges” the average size of a banana is around 7.5 inches. Meaning yes it grows. Now we’ve confirmed that it grew gradually and not instantly. What raises the concern about SlimShadys Genitals is his balls. The average weight of an apple is .33 pounds. So two balls relative to apples would be .66 pounds. In just 4 years Eminem’s balls shrunk to about 0.83% of the original weight but in 18 years his penis doubled in size. Growth and loss of weight aside, it’s so irregular I can’t help but ask “what is wrong with Eminem’s Balls?”

I had never seen my Dad naked for some reason. Not that I ever wanted to. But last month I saw him changing in the gym. The guy has a freaking porn dick. It wasn't even hard but it was massive regardless. It sounds extremely gay and incestuous but that's been stuck in my head from that very day. How the hell did those genes not get passed onto me?

Edward Nygma, commonly known as the Riddler, has once again taken multiple hostages and hidden them in a secret location that only Batman can find if he solves his intricate riddles. Unfortunately for Batman, the Riddler has him stumped by asking the most impossible question of all: What is a woman?

"Riddler, stop playing games and tell me WHERE ARE THEY?!" growled Batman.

"Eh, eh, eh," said the Riddler, wagging his finger and appearing on a nearby screen. "You'll never see them again unless you answer my most diabolical question yet: What is a woman?"

"Someone who menstruates?"

"Wrongo Batman! You just reduced a woman down to her reproductive organs! What if she can't menstruate or reproduce, is she still a woman then Bats?!"

"Obviously, she's still a woman." retorted Batman growing more frustrated. "Fine. It's a trick question. What it means to be a woman is different for each woman and for them to decide."

"Oh tsk tsk tsk my dear Batman! You just used the word as a part of its own definition which fails to define the word!" said the Riddler. "Tick tock, tick tock Batman. You don't have much time left."

"Alright, alright. A woman is an adult human female based on genetics.”

“That’s correct, but not very inclusive! Congratulations, transphobe! You just saved the hostages and got yourself CANCELED all at the same time! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!” cackled the Riddler.

​

🗿MOAI SUPREMACY🗿 be pushin the🅿️ ngl, to join you need to give v🅱️uck card and drink le🅰️n daily, or i take ur kidneys and clup penguin membership (also ur mickeymouse club card)

​

(we are currently watching you, check outside ;))

Fidel Castro is a super sigma male and a Communist. He is so sigma infact he fuck Justin Trudeau's mom. He fuck hard with his Communist cock. He gets really fucking hot from his own cum. He fucks her hard and her tongue with his dick. He spanks her butt with his cum. He spanks her butt with his cum. He fucking licks up her ass with his cum. He fucks her pussy pussy with his cum. He fucked the ass of Justin Trudeau's mom with his own cum. His wife fucked the ass of her like a true Communist dictator, in front of the entire world. He fucked her while fucking her butt with his cum. He fucking fucked her ass with his cum. He fucking fucked her ass with his cum. He fucked one of the best assholes he'd ever fuck. The best assholes he'd ever fuck. He fucking gets fucked. And he's fucking cumming at the same time. The only reason he even calls it quits is out of respect for Justin Trudeau's mom. The fucking is so fucking awesome, dude! He fucked Justin Trudeau's mom with his cum so hard she'd had to stand up and fight for her life. The fucking is amazing, dude! I fucking love the way he fucked her ass with his cum. I love that Justin Trudeau's mom sucked up his cum and gave it straight to her. I love that she felt like shit while she was doing it, but it's still part of being a true sigma male. That he's using his cum to give his wife strength. That he knows she'll be better for it. We'll all be better for it, man! Fuck this sigma! Fuck this subhuman bitch. Fuck her. Fidel Castro loves Justin Trudeau's mom hot ass and big tits. Fuck Justin Trudeau's mom ass with your own cum, dude! Do it with your mind. Fuck Justin Trudeau's mom ass with your own cum!

You all know how shitting and pissing same controls mapping well one day when I was taking a big whopper lets just call it that, it was really hard and painful to release becuz i forgot to eat my oatmeal that makes poo poo softer, i push so hard it made me cry from pain so much hard hard and harder HAAAAAAAARDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, and geuss what, no poo came out, which made my ass hole feel like shit ( no pun intendo) but i felt like i needed to pee so why not, but to my utter dismay, no pee but JIZZ WHYYY, at first i thought my pee wasn't enough to just leak out like normal, but when i noticed it was stringy and kinda painful to release I FOUND IT IT WASN'T PEE JUICE IT WAS STRINGY WINGY PENIS SNOT, aaaaaah I washed it off with water imediately I felt like i was going to die so I tried to tell my mom and she grounded me and sent me to my room now im typing this crying feel like suicide so I look it up and try to search medical attention but they thought i wwas prank calling heelp i really don't want to die plss i haven't got rid of my roblox gf's roblox virginity yet pleas readit i don't want graveyard by death, pls play Back On Track by DJVI on my funeral if i do.

As a male, I'm constantly smelling women's excitement. It's everywhere I go. I can smell it a mile away, like a shark tracing the blood of a wounded fish. I sniff along the ground like a dog until I hit the excited woman's foot, prompted to run my nose up her leg until I reach the sweet pungent source.

They want me, my nose doesn't lie. I can smellow the yellow. I am enticed by the stink of the pink. I can see the crown of the brown.

The screech of their excitement fills my ears. They say things like "what are you doing?" And "my dad is a cop."

Ugh, liars. Such is the burden of being an Alpha.

#FAQ


#What does this mean?


The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.


#Why did you do this?


There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:


*Being gay

*Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it

*walter


#Am I going to shit and cum too?


No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.


#I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?


Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.


#How can I prevent this from happening in the future?


Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.

Its time for you to cum harder than you ever had in your life~. Lisa is too perfect for words. Her big fat plump ass is something that drives you crazy. Touch yourself as your beautiful Goddess shakes her ass in front of your face. Shes gonna own your cock with her fat butt. Your dick belongs to her, and you know that. Every time you see her your cock twitches and you get so excited. Youre so cute. Never hold back. Unleash your big fat load for Lisa. I know you can do it. Make mommy Rebecca proud darling~. I love you <3

Having a bigger dick just makes sex so much easier. I had sex with a BBW for the challenge lastnight and it was a movie. I couldn’t pound her because her mom & brother were home but she definitely let me stretch her out.

After 30 mins she tapped out so I didn’t cum. The blow job was perfection. Big girls really do suck the best dick. I’m in NY and I’ve been doing penis enhancement since February and the difference is incredible. I had full control over my erection. EQ was magic. Adjusting the Depth of my stroke was driving her crazy.

The reverse kegel played a huge role and controlling. My breathing helped me stay in control. Being comfortable with my own body also helped now that I know the stats. It was weird I almost nutted during the head. I fucked her face & She almost threw up 2ce. But I also wanted the pussy. So I knew I had to pace my self

I spend so much time in extenders, and pumps & hangers it feels really good to know that all the work is paying off where it matters most. Obviously I been fukin since I started PE but she had a body I didn’t think I could handle and I dominated. I’m gonna try to have round 2 next week I’ll definitely be bigger by then

Also her ex r**** her so she doesn’t really like sex. I’m surprised she gave it up so easy. I literally met her yesterday and she told me to pull up at 1am

She ain’t have dick since May but she had some big toys by her bed. And mirrors everywhere so hopefully I’m able to convert her & make her my lil freak. Just to reverse all the damage her ex did

Add sex to clash of clans

Shame on me indeed. The "anime profile pic" in not bold letters really hurt in my heart and oddly enough the stomach. Failing to see the immense degree of condesencion on my words, even to the point of systematically condecend you in an attempt to be friendly myself. I could, no.. I should have left it at that. The second wish for a nice day was all I could have been hoping for in terms of leaving the conversation on a hight note. But too often have I been hurt by someone just leaving an argument. Just ignoring my replies and leaving me frustrated and alone. I never wanted to put soneone through anything like that so I always try to have the last word. To always give some reaction to something that has been said and to always give something which the other one could reply to. All I wanted was to wish you a good day back, and the most disarming and innocent way I could muster up was the sarcastic tone, which I had no idea would be so insulting. My argument, defeated. Foolish as it was. Appeasement, in vain. Misguided as I have been. My respect for you stands strong, as you did what I am trying all along. You have replied to me thus far. Thank you. And, I'm sorry.

I’m not sure if this post belongs in this group, but I just had to tell this story (anonymously of course).

So my bf (20) and I (20f) live separately in our parents houses (yes, I know It’s embarrassing but whatever). And last night he had told me he was going to play a drinking game with his family and some family friends too. I was cool with it of course, told him to have fun, and went to bed.

Well like an hour or two into sleeping, I get spammed with calls from his brother (18) and from one of the family friends (18). They asked me to come over because my bf was wasted, acting crazy, screaming, and calling for me. So I drive to his house and he is sitting in the living room chair, his head lolling, a trash can full of puke beside him, and he had pissed himself.

I was a little annoyed because this wasn’t the first time he couldn’t handle his liquor or know when to stop drinking. And he had also scared the little girl that was over there at the time which pissed me off.

I wasn’t really sure what to do since they already had him sitting down with a trash can beside him and had told him to drink water. That’s pretty much all you can do. He was safe, he had stopped drinking, so I just sat there with him.

But then he started puking, and putting his hand into his puke in the trash can and wouldn’t stop. I kept telling him to stop and he just wouldn’t so I had to grab his puke covered hand and hold it back tightly so he wouldn’t do it again. The smell was atrocious by the way.

He refused to speak, and he couldn’t keep his head up either, so I was holding his hand and trying to hold his head up to so he could vomit.

Well his brother and I suddenly got a big whiff of shit. Like straight up shit. At first we thought it was the toddler that was in the room with us, but we checked her pants and it wasn’t.

So we asked him if he shit, and he said yes.

So we carried him to the bathroom and pulled his pants down and sure enough there was shit everywhere. It literally fell out of his pants in huge turds, and when he got his feet out of his pants he stepped in it and got it all over the bathroom floor. We sat him on the toilet and he somehow got a thick layer of poop on the actual seat as well as continuing to poop in the toilet.

Then he started playing in the shit between his legs on the seat, and we yelled at him to stop and he wouldn’t. And he touched his face with it, his arms, legs. It was EVERYWHERE.

At this point I (reasonably so) got the ick like I’ve never gotten before. What adult acts like this? Even when shitfaced drunk?? I get pissing yourself, and MAYBE shitting yourself while drunk, but playing in shit? And knowingly puking all over yourself?? It’s ridiculous.

So we ran a bath and fought hard to get him off the toilet and into the bathtub. We had to basically carry him into the tub all while trying not to drop him and crack his head or hurt him in any way.

So here we are, covered in shit and vomit, stepping in shit and vomit, and everything smelling like shit and vomit. And I felt SO bad for him because that is so embarrassing. Having your gf see that and clean up your shit is so embarrassing. I couldn’t help but feel so bad. I made sure to reassure him and laugh it off and make sure he knew it wasn’t a big deal (even though it was) and I vowed not to tell him about it when he was sober.

So he’s in the tub, still actively shitting, and we begin to clean him. I had to wipe thick layers of poop off of his ass and privates. He was also projectile vomiting into the bath water. I can handle poop, but spit and vomit is where I start feeling sick.

There were huge globs of snot coming out of his nose and spit and vomit dripping from his mouth.

I had to clean and bleach the entire bathroom and throw away my house slippers because there was just too much poop on them.

And then we had to carry him out of the tub and dry him off and struggled dress him. The entire time he was completely limp, not even attempting to stand (even though he was awake).

So we got him into a wheelchair to take him to bed, and he finally passed out and stayed asleep for the night.

I had to change my clothes and wash myself because I was covered in puke and poop.

Anyways, yeah, that was just the biggest ick I’ve ever gotten in my life. I’m hoping I get over it soon lol, I know I will eventually though because I’ve been with him for four years and we’re pretty comfortable with each other.

He also tried having sex with me the morning after and I was NOT up for it.

So my gf(f19), was over and we were casually watching The Empire Strikes Back(I am 19 btw). And then, the Han freezing in carbonite scene came, and when Leia said 'I love you' to him, I kissed my gf. She was taken aback, and soon she started kissing me too. I slowly pushed her down on the bed as we had more steamy, passionate and romantic kissing. In no time, our clothes were off, and I was ready to put it in. But our dumbasses forgot to pause the movie... As soon as I was putting it in, the 'I am your father' line came and I instantly got harder. My gf was loving this. I put it in her. She screamed with joy. I was also having fun. But then, the Imperial march started playing. I felt something come over me. The Sith shall rise. In my anger and lust for power I force choked my girlfriend. My journey to the Dark Side was complete. Luke's resistance and weakness to join the darkside completely enraged me. I am now marching all the way to Los Angeles to beat up Mark Hamill with my lightsaber.

If you only knew the power of the Dark Side, Luke

1. ***Baby Batter***
2. ***Ball Barf***
3. ***Bonkjuice***
4. ***Buttermilk***
5. ***Choad Nectar***
6. ***Clam Sauce***
7. ***Cock Droplets***
8. ***Cock Snot***
9. ***Cough Drops***
10. ***Cuckoo Spit***
11. ***Crack Wax***
12. ***Cream***
13. ***Crud***
14. ***Cum***
15. ***Custard***
16. ***Daddy Sauce***
17. ***Dongwater***
18. ***Erectoplasm***
19. ***Face Cream***
20. ***Fish Dip***
21. ***Flour Water***
22. ***Fructis***
23. ***Fun Gel***
24. ***Gentleman’s Relish***
25. ***Glue***
26. ***Happy Trails***
27. ***Hemulsion***
28. ***High Fructose Porn Syrup***
29. ***Honey***
30. ***Hot Milk***
31. ***Jam***
32. ***Jamba Juice***
33. ***Jazz***
34. ***Jelly***
35. ***Jizz***
36. ***Layonnaise***
37. ***Letch Water***
38. ***Liquid Silk***
39. ***Live Cultures***
40. ***Load***
41. ***Love Liquor***
42. ***Male Tears***
43. ***Man Chowder***
44. ***Man Foam***
45. ***Man Period***
46. ***Man Seed***
47. ***Monkey Juice***
48. ***Nobslurry***
49. ***Nizzle-Drizzle***
50. ***Nut Butter***
51. ***Oil of Man***
52. ***Oil of Ulay***
53. ***Ointment***
54. ***Onward Christian Soldiers***
55. ***Oyster Droppings***
56. ***Pale Marmalade***
57. ***Pearl Jam***
58. ***Penis Colada***
59. ***Pole Milk***
60. ***Population Paste***
61. ***Prick Liquid***
62. ***Protein Shake***
63. ***Pube Solvent***
64. ***Pudding***
65. ***Rude Glue***
66. ***Salad Dressing***
67. ***Satchel Syrup***
68. ***Schlong Jelly***
69. ***Scum***
70. ***Sink Bubbles***
71. ***Slime***
72. ***Snake Spray***
73. ***Soap***
74. ***Spaff***
75. ***Spendings***
76. ***Spew***
77. ***Splashback***
78. ***Splooge/Spooge***
79. ***Spratz***
80. ***Spume***
81. ***Spunk***
82. ***Squiggle***
83. ***String of Pearls***
84. ***Tadpoles***
85. ***Tail Juice***
86. ***Tallow***
87. ***Throat Yogurt***
88. ***Trouser Gravy***
89. ***Turkey Spit***
90. ***Wad***
91. ***Wang Pus***
92. ***Wank Paste***
93. ***Weiner Sauce***
94. ***Wet Paint***
95. ***White Gold***
96. ***White Honey***
97. ***White Light/White Heat***
98. ***White Ribbon***
99. ***Willymilk***
100. ***Wormgo***

Yah

Bitch ass motherfucker is fuckin stupid ass can't with multiple Holes in her brain as she is getting caught in the crossfire of a gunfight in the middle of a school shooting she started. She is a stupid Fatherfucker that doesn't know what 9+10 is(21)

She doesn't know that the boy is secretly going to cheat on her cuz she doesn't deserve anything but a fork up her ass and a spoon in her nose!!!