He pets me and lets me sit in his lap and sometimes we try and have puppies >\_< but no luck yet. At home I wear a cute collar he bought me with my pet name on it (not sharing the name because only he's allowed to call me that) and some doggy ears, that's it. I don't have to think about dumb sentences to say because I'm not allowed to speak english unless he asks me to. Unfortunately, I still work some days and have to leave the house and pretend to be human again, but I wear a choker on those days so nobody thinks I'm a stray!! We're hoping to move soon when he gets his promotion and then I won't have to work anymore and can be his puppy all day every day :3 Last year I was a boymoder with no hope of girlmoding and now I'm living in pure bliss :D :D :D All boymdoders should get adopted!!

Talking Ben No Sound Effect Royalty Free Download HD 4k HDR 360p MP3 MP4 MP5 100% Walmart Christmas Giveaway غرفة الاستراحة Among Pequeño جريبى ليس حرام Rec Room Free أين يفعل الكلب MKV Car Insurance 2009 نينتندو سويتش Wii U Whatsapp Free Money ليست وهمية وهمية 🙀 Min Craft Pirated Hy Pixel تقنية Half Life 3 2018 Tik Tok جهاز خلوي Bingus جهاز خلوي

Kissing my girlfriend is better than sex. I’d take a long kissing session with her over sex any day of the week. For me at least, it feels a lot more personal to stare into each other’s eyes for hours and make out.My favorite part of sex is still kissing my girlfriend, not even the sex part!!Anyone I’ve talked to this about calls me crazy though.

I care + I asked + smile about it
+ stay glad + W + mald seethe
cope less + not basic + skill +
rational + you fell up + no
audacity + triggeredn't + you
got a life + ok :) + not cringe +
touched grass ✅+ based +
funny + laughed + grammar
good + you're good + not
reported + GG

Dear President Vladimir Putin, I'm so sorry that I was not your mother, If I was your mother you would've been so loved, held in the arms of joyous light, never would this story's plight the world unfurled before our eyes a pure demise of nation sitting peaceful under a night sky. If I was your mother the world would have been warm, so much laughter and joy nothing would harm. I can't imagine the stain the soul-stealing pain that little boy, you must've seen and believed and the formulation of thought quickly taught that you lived in a cruel unjust world. Is this why you decide no one will get the best of you ? ( giving swoop mod would give us the best of you I swear ). Is this WHY you do not hide NOR AWAY SHY from taking back the world, was it because so early in life all that strife wracked your little body with fear. If I was your mother, if the world was cold I would've died to make you warm, i'd die to protect you from the unjust, the violence, the terror, the uncertainty, I would've died to give you life. Oh, DEAR PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN ! If only i'd been your mother, perhaps the torture of unwrit youth would not within your heart imbue ascription to such fealty against that world that seemed so cruel. Perhaps, you would hold dear Human life and on this night instead of mother Lazer's lounge, you would call me. I would set your mind quite free with the love that only a moderator/mother can give ! And only a mother/moderator can take away. When holds she doesn't harm at bay ( To make it rhyme, Mercus is gay ) and leaves her boy for the promise of a man whatever your story Mister Vladimir Putin, I can't imagine how it feels in your heart but I know if I was your mother, that would be a start, towards the awareness of what a powerful being of Light you could be if your mind was only free from the violence you've seen when you were

All the perspectives agree. Everyone except for the perspective that disagrees with everyone on everything. Even Copernicus and Galileo agreed with most people on most things with the knowledge they had at the time. Nothing their perspective says is new. It used to be the standard before new information said it wasn’t true. These people you listen to just have an entitlement complex and think they are the center of the universe because they are the perspective with the money. It’s just low effort bait. You ate it up because you are a low effort white male. It’s that simple.

Hairy chests are irresistibly attractive

Go ahead and pop that second button, then go ahead and pop that third one as well.

Nothing turns me on like a thick plume of luscious chest hair. It doesn't matter the color: black, blonde, red. So soft, gentle, and tender when properly conditioned and groomed. I am so thankful for those rare and gorgeous women that have been blessed with it, like my amazing wife.

Abuse/Cruelty (including domestic, physical, psychological, mental, emotional, child and animal)

Mass murder

Patricide (accidental)

Torture (including domestic, physical, psychological, mental, emotional and animal)

Vandalism

Arson

Trespassing

Property damage

Robbery

Breaking and entering

Fraud

Accidental infanticide

Privacy violation

Negligence

Attempted child abandonment

Supplying drugs

Endangerment

Impersonation

Incrimination

Forgery

Assault

Battery

Indecent exposure

Attempted incest

Adultery

Rape

Molestation

Possession of underage/child pornography

Pedophilia

Kidnapping

Enforced suicide

False imprisonment

Theft

Hostage-taking

Hate crimes

Conspiracy

Smuggling

Slander

Stalking

Treason

Corruption

Terrorism

Mutilation

Pollution

Manslaughter

Sexual harassment

Cannibalism

This community is pretty much a shitpile now I know why [r/fridaynightfunkin](https://www.reddit.com/r/fridaynightfunkin/) actually enforces their rules it's because unlike everyone on highjinks they actually have common sense also they mention all that fucking softmod hate oh my God we get it and then you guys just sit there and call yourself based like bitch you are far from based there is only a handful of people on this community who are nice people (I\_WANT\_TO\_FUCK\_LILA and billiman and Bob xml poggers) in fact the only reason you guys thought Bob XML poggers was bad is because he was one of the few people on this community that actually had common sense. Also you guys scold me for low effort post when half the shit on here probably didn't even have an ounce of effort in it. But now let's get into the more serious topics let's see the fact that the B3 GF hate is just fat shameing in disguise. And yes this is a full-on final backstab. And the next is a hate with my OC and the fact that you guys would harass me a bunch because of it. And the fact that you guys think Twitter is like the worst thing in the world there are still good people on that place I tell you that. And next thing is at this community is such a hive mind at the point where if one person hates something everyone hates it. It's about time someone exposed the hell hole thats this community. Now the moderators don't get me wrong this isn't their fault I mean they just wanted to make a community with more freedom it's just that some fucktards wanted to ruin it.

hey gamers, just wanted to leave an opinion I think really needs to be heard. I know that we’ve all probably been thinking it anyway so I guess now is the time for change. I’m gonna say it: We need sex slaves in Minecraft. I know there have probably been mods, but I don’t want to have to use mods for something as obviously essential as this. I just don’t understand how it isn’t already implemented in the game, honestly. Notch must be one heck of a sick fuck if he thinks he can just dangle villagers in front of me and expect me to NOt want to fuck them. Every time I log back into my world, I end up having to stop the game and go through my zombie pigman porn files, because I can’t focus on the non-arousing parts of the game. My cock is always dripping when I walk through villages and my underwear is usually completely ruined by the time I can trade anything. I don’t see why Notch would tease the fans like this, and not provide any sort of proper catharsis. I’m really not asking for a lot here. I just need to be able to chain a villager to the wall of my cum-stained mineshaft and fuck it into oblivion until I’m satisfied. If this keeps going unrectified, I might have to log back onto Roblox for my needs. So, yea. Please share this with as many people as you can, I’m sure if we can get Notch to see this the issue will be fixed in no time. Thanks, gamers.

Hey vsauce, Micheal here!

My peepee is hard? Or is it?

Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection.

Erection.

The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights.

But what is "gay"?

To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow.

But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay.

Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.

You know, being a huge dick isn't all fun and games. Yes the girls love it and yes I get laid often, but you see, the problem is, you get a certain reputation. When people see you all they think is "Ohh that's that dude who is a massive schlong" but they don't think about my personality and how I feel. Being a massive weiner isn't all fun and games you know, It might seem like I'm whining, but every time I get laid, I actually feel underappreciated, girls associate me with huge dicks, but once they see the actual size, all I see is disappointment in their eyes. Now, of course, what girls don't realize is that I can be a huge asshole too. When I stretch out, I try to fit in as much as possible to fuel my ego. People seem to notice this less often, as I first need to show them how far I actually can stretch it, before they want to open up more to me. It can be very difficult being both a dickhead and a huge asshole. One of the few advantages is that I am in fact able to fuck myself really hard. When I am at work and I see a cute girl, I fuck myself so hard when I talk to her, it actually frightens her, yet also interests her, as not everyone has the ability to fuck themselves. The moral of this story is that you shouldn't be afraid to show your dick. Show the people some of what ypu have, and you might just get some surprising reactions.

Hey everyone, in this video I will be explaining how the song "I Got No Time" by The Living Tombstone is a great analogy of the Iranian Revolution and the overthrow of the Pahlavi Dynasty. The title of the song is a perfect analogy of the Shah's state of affairs at the time due to the dire situation of the dynasty's seeking asylum in other countries (ie. the United States) from the Iranian revolutionaries in a limited timespace. "I got this headache and my life's on the line" is also another great example of the Shah's mindset caused by his desperation to keep him and his family alive from the threat of the incoming revolutionaries.

You think I'm done yet? You're dead wrong.

The verse "I have this urge to kill and show that I'm alive" is an excellent metaphor of the Shah considering to send his people to re-education camps to show them who's really in power in Iran (Sigma Grindset). The verse "want to go back to where it all began" symbolises the Shah wanting to go back to the good old days of the Persian Empire with happy people and before the Islamic Caliphate (cringe) came and took over. The verse "theres scary monsters running in the halls" also potrays the situation faced by primarily foreign western diplomats (ie. America, France, UK, Germany, Belgium..) embassies in Iran during the revolution caused by the revolutionaries storming the embassies to gain the upper hand in the revolution.

The verse "I'm not so strong and they're not gone" reflects on the Shah's dwindling power and authority over the Imperial State and the ever more growing revolutionaries sprouting up all over the country. And lastly, the verse "...people with priorities that their life matters so much more than mine" means that in the eyes of the Shah, the people of Iran are constantly asking for better living conditions instead of letting the Shah spend $22 million dollars on a [party](https://youtu.be/lxQ19dzi4YQ)

Thanks for watching the video guys, I really do hope you enjoy it please leave a like, comment and subscribe. Oh also, the part two of this great analogy will be coming out next week so STAY TUNED.

Fortnite Battle Pass.

I just shit out my ass.

Booted up my PC cause i need me, to get that Fortnite Battle Pass.

I like Fortnite.

Did i mention Fortnite?

I like Fortnite.

It's night time.

I mean It's 5'o clock, thats basically Night time.

Y'all remember Cartoon Network, Adventure time.

It’s Nerf, or Nothin. It’s the only thing holding me together. My wife. My kids. Gone, because of my ignorance and inexperience. Father please forgive me. I now know the sins I have committed. I now know it is brute war that holds my sanity from slipping into the dark. What is beyond the pain I bring, just to satisfy my aching soul. My father, I cry, I scream for your help as I trudge onto the battle field once more. As I slaughter the people who are like me. I call into you, hark unto my pain, the darkness that I am consumed by. I have to go again. The sounds of the people I fight beside torturing my brain until my fellow breath. I call to you, save my very soul! Or is it to late? Have I gone too far. I have slaughtered more than I can count and for what. The medal of murder to hang from my chest. I ask you my brethren, Is it really Nerf or Nothing, or is there something more for me now.

Do you want to travel to cambodia to excavate the long lost artifacts of battambang so we can hold a séance and summon krasue the ghost of the girl who haunted the land who floats around with her insides out and eats all the farmers cattle to set her spirit free and prevent a group of local pirates from finding the artifacts before we do and selling them on the black market as we infiltrate their base shoot them in the face and give them a taste of our fist we find out krasue was in on the job and shes the boss what a shyamalan twist and now we have to take her down using the power of friendship and blow the place to smithereens and make it to the copter just in time and ride off into the sunset

So, ukraine is a country in Europe. It exists next to another country called Russia. Russia is a bigger country. Russia is a powerful country. Russia decided to invade a smaller country called ukraine. So basically that's wrong

Eating a girl out from behind. She had an amazing body (still does) and it was awesome. Then without saying anything, she starts pushing my face away. I am very paranoid/worried about doing anything to make my partner uncomfortable, so I just pulled a few inches away from her butt and started to ask "Are you ok?" But then she let out a huge fart right as I was inhaling to speak. My nasal passages were open and this fart was forceful enough that I felt the hot, heavy gas hit the back of my throat and sink down. Then a few microseconds later, the smell hit me; full-on shit grade, permeating my sinuses. I starting choking and gagging and dry heaved a bunch. My girlfriend was so horrified she started crying. This was like 2 months into our relationship so she thought I was going to leave her, but as soon as the nausea wore off, I just started laughing because the situation was so funny. We bring it up all the time now and still laugh.

\---

A priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar.

They sit down, the bartenders cutting limes. He says, "hold on I gotta go switch out the kegs."

He leaves, and the priest starts talking.

He says, "I had a man come into my church; tells me, Father, I no longer believe in God. So I explained to him about the fires of hell and eternal damnation, and instills the fear of God back in the man."

The Rabbi says, "Oh you Catholics and your fear. I had a similar man come to me; he said, Rabbi I no longer believe in God, but the Torah teaches us to explore and question our faith. So, after some conversation, and my wise counsel, he came to his own conclusion that he still believed in God."

Then the rabbi and the priest both look at the prostitute and say, "What about you? How would you make a man believe in God?"

Then the prostitute picks up the knife that the bartender was using, and says, "Oh, I'd just introduce them."

Then the prostitute stabs the rabbis hand pinning him to the bar. The priest makes a run for the door, but the prostitute's tongue extends out of her mouth and wraps around his ankles and pulls him down to the floor. He digs his fingernails into the hardwoods, but it's of no use: she reels him back in and her jaw unhinges and she begins to swallow him whole like some great python. He screams as his feet and legs begin to dissolve in her stomach acids. By the time she gets the priest all the way down, the rabbi has freed himself. He's holding the knife! He says, "young lady I don't want to hurt you, but I will if it means saving my life." She lunges towards him - he stabs her in her swollen belly. She looks down, and she smiles and pulls the knife deep inside of herself. The knife wound opens up and wraps around the rabbi's hand and begins absorbing him: arm first, the head, then the rest of the body! And now that she's consumed both the priest and the rabbi, she is bloated and huge and she rolls over onto her back and her arm and legs bones begin to crack like glowsticks and her ligaments and head suck inside of herself.

Then the bartender comes back, and he sees this mound of pulsating flesh there at his bar. He walks over to it and he sees the prostitutes belly button right there on top. It begins to split at the seams and peel open, and then out emerges the head of Jon Taffer. It was another episode of Bar Rescue. "Oh, you had three customers here. You didn't take their orders, the limes should have been done before you opened. You're back there dingdongin around with the kegs. You should have been taking care of the customers that were at your bar. Not to mention you left a knife out that any psycho could have grabbed and used. You are going to be liable for that. Shut it down!"

Hey automod, my name is Obama bing chilling (chinese name). I'm a Fortnite, Mario enjoyer from France that speak Japanese, and let me make a post to tell you about my based story.

I was born at a hospital in Belgium in 1984. My dad was from Taiwan and my mom was from China, their bussiness was growing grass for feeding pigs and turtle. They love to bend my penis during their free time.

My first word was fuck, which made my parents go ZAMN as they expected daddy or mommy. I know I’m an idiot, but the cringe didn't last forever.

I got a cat at the age of 4, his name was Mister Chad. He love to meow while I piss on my furry friend’s ass. I remembered him fart on my Cheetos and chasing my big brother 's dick. Oh shit, I mean his pet koala, while I told him to cum here and stop trying to piss on that weeb femboy's titan semen.

When I was 14, we went on a trip to India to get vaccinated. We also visit the rock museum and shop at the local woman panties store. It was a great experience.

Now at the age of 28, and being a renowned biologist that published a great amount of studies on semen in Britian and the great country of America. Having good source about how to blowjob, I have decided to follow my greatest dream, which is launching an porn NFT collection with depictions of the amogus having sex with FNAF bitches covered in the iconic sticky white substance.

Fuck Kevin.