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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
A wild nice guy on cringetopia
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Hello! I noticed you have a picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess resembles you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the cringetopia subreddit! I am quite popular around here in this sub, so if you require and guideance, please, throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although, I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assued that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time!
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I fucking hate it when people put their entire personality based on fictional characters
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I fucking hate it when people put their entire personality based on fictional characters, I once argued with them that a person with a knife is dangerous no matter what and they told me no since their video game character have beaten a lot of big enemies and therefore a guy with a knife is way too easy to handle even for a normal person. They are so separated from reality and think that one person can defeat a whole army and they emply this to themselves saying that I could beat this guy, or when they see a video of a crime happening they'd say " if I was in this situation I would grab the gun and do this etc.." like brah please stfu . They think video games characters with plot armor are immortal beings that can never be defeated by anything no matter what and they take that to the next step where they build their entire personalities around them. The deadbydaylight, gaming and anime subs are full of these people and arguing with them is like punching a wall.
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I’m actually a urologist and I’m glad you posted this poll.
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I’m actually a urologist and I’m glad you posted this poll. The old school thought is that pee is stored in the bladder, this is incorrect. Pee is very efficiently stored in the balls through a series of tubes and storage sacks.

Females also store the pee in the balls, however it’s inside of them.

During clinical (surgical) labs, we came to realize that although the bladder may assist in filtering after the liver, big (very warm) pee is store in the balls. This was also via a series of MRI’s. Modern medicine calls for pee being stored safely inside the balls.

Pee is in the balls. It has been, currently is, and forever will be in the balls
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Boss Baby
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Thank fucking GOD there is more boss baby. I was actually DYING without the boss baby. I was diagnosed with cancer after i finished watching the first boss baby,
and as soon as the sequel was announced, it was CURED. My entire room is decorated with every piece of boss baby merchandise ever created. I worship the boss baby. I watch these films daily, they are the only
motivation I have to stay alive. I only exist on this planet to watch these masterpieces of culture.

Found in the comments of this yt vid:

[https://youtu.be/M546IKgDV6U](https://youtu.be/M546IKgDV6U)
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I (F26) have sucked 37 pairs of breasts.
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I’m a girl with a love for boobs, sue me. Not sure what it is but I could literally spend a whole day just worshipping whatever boobs are in front of my face. I don’t care how big or small they are, I just care if they’re soft and sensitive. Because if they aren’t sensitive then she won’t feel anything and it sucks for me. I also prefer real ones over fake only because the fake ones I’ve felt up personally just feel hard and strange. I used to go on tinder and put in my bio I’m strictly interested in just sex with other girls. I would meet up with them and they’d flash me. With their consent I touched them and sucked them. A few of them even said they came because I knew how to suck them…I didn’t even know that was possible. I usually let them return the favor. It’s been two years since I’ve done this because of Covid. I stopped until things got a little normal again. Now that things are going back to normal-ish I’m planning on going back to doing this in the summer because I’m dying over here. It was the most fun I’ve had in my life. I love titties and can’t live without them in my face and in my mouth (•)(•). I love flashing mine too.

Edit: let me clarify 37 since I was 23. I think it’s fun to keep count. I didn’t have sex with all of them
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(OC) “When the Impostor is sus,” but stretched out
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When the person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain is giving the impression that something is questionable or dishonest, causing one to have the idea or impression that they are of questionable, dishonest, or dangerous character or condition.
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We are iron man
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I STAND 🧍‍♂️WITH UKRAINE 🇺🇦 👏 WE WILL DEFEAT POOTIN 👹LIKE THE AVENGERS 🦸‍♂️ DEFEATED THANOS 👌 WE ARE IRON MAN 🦾 WE ARE THOR ⚒️ WE DEFEATED COVID WITH SCIENCE 💉💉💉 WE CAN DEFEAT HATE WITH LOVE ❤️
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prime vandal
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Okay so two days ago, after begging my mom for months she finally let me spend money to buy Valorant points. I can’t express in words how happy I was in that moment, I finally wouldn’t be a no skin loser that had to rely on his team for skins. Amidst all this excitement, lied a lingering and petrifying issue, I need to get a good skin, to buy a good skin. I understand why you guys chose to keep your shop this way. It keeps all the skins fresh and makes the player base excited to log on and check their shop daily. This being said, my patience is reaching it’s end and I’ve considered uninstalling the game a few times over the past week due to this reality, my reality. I may never get the chance to buy a skin I want. It is for this reason that I humbly request. Please put the prime vandal in my shop. I KNOW, I know this is a large and seemingly unreasonable request, but I digress. If this is a possibility on your end I’d be ever gracious to you as an individual, and Riot in general for your charity. It would make my day, no my week, no MY LIFE if you could make this happen. The feeling of getting a one-tap headshot with the prime vandal is a feeling I truly live for and being able to own it would improve my life 10 fold at least. I’m sure you guys are busy, but please. Heed my prayers.
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Taking a good shit is much much euphoric than an orgasm.
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Everytime I go for a dunk, I always crave for letting out all of my junk inside of me. It feels so satisfying that it makes my day. I like to feel how the waste travels thru my intestine and out of my asshole. The happiness lasts longer than a few seconds of intense orgasm. A cherry on top is a fibrous dump that goes out of my body in a single long and big piece. It's like giving birth to a little baby! I wish I could make it my child but gotta flush em, sigh!
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Trolling My Class With Among Us:
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I was dashing, like Sonic The Hedgehog, except more POGGERS, around the school. Everybody looked at me weird. I was screaming, "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS!", because the teacher said the word "impostor". Everybody started chanting with me. "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS!!! AMONG SUS!!!! WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!" We all beatboxed the Among Us beatbox in unison. It was beautiful. Like Kim Possible flipping her hair in the air on a bright and pretty day. But suddenly I noticed; one of the kids wasn't beatboxing the Among Us Drip beatbox!!! So I ran over to her.

"Hey, kid," I said, "Stop being a sussy Imposter and be not sus with us!!!" "I don't get it," she said. "But, did you know that another word for 'with us' is 'among us'???" That was so SUS of her!!! "You're The Impostor!!!" I screamed. And I pushed her into the vent because she is sus and she's an Among Us Imposter and she just vented.

​

Everyone looked at me thinking that I was a sussy baka Among Us Amogus Imposter, even the kids who were Among Us Beatboxing!!! Everyone was looking at me like I just brushed my teeth with a poopy old toilet plunger (which I did). I said "What?" when suddenly the classroom door opened. It was the CEO of Pepsi-Co! I noticed the Pepsi pin pinned onto her shirt and I said "When the Pepsi is sus!" because it reminded me of the Among Us crewmate. I did the sus Among Us beatbox. It goes: "Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!!" She screamed "SECURITY!!!"

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Her security was the people who created Among Us!!! I said, "That's a bit SUS!!!" (Like how the guy said it in the "STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US" rant.) "You're not Keanu Chungus 💯 Fartnite bad Minecraft good!!!" I said.

​

I dashed out the door, and, I eventually got into the city. The city wasn't all that big, but it was big enough for me to hide. I did it. I really did it. I had gotten away. I looked at my phone to see if I had gotten any notifications or if there were any poggers new updates in Minecraft. But then I saw the sussiest thing ever.

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There was this video game that I uploaded to my phone, and the logo looked so sus. It looked like a Sussy Imposter from Amogus. And the Amogus-shaped logo was RED!!! Red's sus! RED JUST VENTED!!! And then I looked at what the name of the video game was, and it was actually named "Among Us"! As in, Among Us, like, Amogus, Among Us? Among Us sounds like Amogus! That was extremely SSSUUUSSS!!! I opened the video game to see how the game worked. People in the game can be Crewmates, or they can be SUSSY IMPOSTERS? LIKE, IMPOSTOR, IMPOSTER? And all the characters looked just like AMOGUS!AND THE IMPOSTERS ARE VENTING? "SUSPECT"? "SUSPICIOUS"? "SUS"? THAT MEANS SUS!

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It was so sus that I threw the phone into the garbage can and threw the garbage can into the toilet and threw the toilet into ur mom's bathroom, and I screamed:

​

"**YOU'RE!!!**

**REALLY!!!**

⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛⬛🔴🔴🔴🔴⬛🔴⬛⬛🔴⬛🔴🔴🔴🔴⬛⬛
⬛⬛🔴⬛⬛⬛⬛🔴⬛⬛🔴⬛🔴⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛⬛🔴🔴🔴🔴⬛🔴⬛⬛🔴⬛🔴🔴🔴🔴⬛⬛
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🔴⬛🔴⬛⬛🔴⬛⬛⬛⬛🔴⬛⬛
⬛⬛🔴🔴🔴🔴⬛⬛🔴🔴⬛⬛🔴🔴🔴🔴⬛⬛
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛**!!!**"

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ඞඞඞ!!!

ඞඞඞ!!!

ඞඞඞ!!!
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Actual post from a weeb Facebook group. Translated from Spanish to English by u/uo9py
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I need your advice...

I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui when I became an otaku when I was 15 and later, she became an anime fan when she was 11. Now I have done something so terrible that I can't sleep...

What happened is that I'm a lolicon, I like loli hentai... For a month, she saw me watching that hentai and then she investigated on the subject herself... I didn't know she was spying on me so I kept watching my degenerate shit unconcerned, until one day Yui called me Onii-Chan. I felt very shameful but everything got out of control when she started to moan like a loli to make fun of me... That cunt thought she was a loli. I didn't think much of it, until I started to think that... She could like me.

I know it's sickening but since incest is my fetish, I started to woo her and little by little, we fell in love... We even got to the point of kissing.

One night our parents weren't home she and I had sex... No joke, that was the best damn night of my life. We did it over and over again and I lost control of myself when she moaned and called me Onii-Chan. We were a couple in secret... Since she was 12, I never thought I'd get her pregnant...

She was at our grandparent's home when she sent me a message telling me that she was pregnant. I couldn't sleep that night and I didn't know what to do, I was considering making her have an abortion... I thought the protagonists in these stories were happy... Now I know how hard the life of two siblings who love each other with a 5 year age gap could be.

Yui has offered me to act like it was rape and I had nothing to do with it, but for some reason I can't accept it. I have until Monday to find a solution...
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may you please explain this?
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may you please explain this? How on fucking earth was your critcism constructive all you said was essentially "you drew this poorly" other comments literally did exactly what constructive criticism is, criticism that says what can be improved upon. I wish I didn't even get ropes in this, as your previous activity even in this specific subreddit makes you sound like a ultra-asshole. So for your"mentally debilitated child" mind, don't be a dick in your criticism.
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An army of Moai’s
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Found on r/GenZedong
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I can't take this anymore...

This madness is out of hand, every fucking sub except this one and 2 or 3 others is literally nazi worshipping hellhole, they literally think Ukraine has ANY chance of wining with all ''help'' they get, they are living in a fantasy world.

My brother scared the crap out of me when he suddenly yelled at screen, turned off computer, punched the desk and left the room, I asked him what happened he told me that he became too frustrated to look at any social media or anything on internet, not just reddit, but Youtube, Insta, Twitter, everything, every post :YO LOOK AT THIS NAZI BLOWING HIMSELF UP,LOOK AT THIS BRAVE GRANDMA WITH GUN , RUSSIAN ATTACKS ON ALL CITIES ARE BEING REPELLED, RUSSIA LOST 3000+ SOLDIERS ON FIRST FEW DAYS,LOOK AT ZELENSKY HE IS FIGHTNING WITH HIS SOLDIERS, ELON FUCKING MUSK IS GONNA HELP UKRAINE, HACKERS DISRUPTING COMMUNICATION,THIS WILL NOT BE EASY FOR RUSSIA, LOOK AT THIS GUYS SWEARING AT RUSSIAN TANKS, TANKS RUN OUT OF GAS, USA VETERAN GIVING ADVICE TO UKRAINIANS, SLAVYA UKRAYINI (HEIL FUCKING HITLER), BLUE-YELLOW FLAG EVERYWHERE, BRAVE UKRAINE FIGHTNING UNTIL THE END, RUSSIA STANDS NO CHANCE, NAZI SOLDIERS, LOOK THIS PLANE SHOT DOWN 6 RUSSIAN JETS, LOOK AT THIS NAZI ''CHAD'' OVER HERE, EVEN IF RUSSIANS SURROUNDED MOTHERFUCKING KIEV IN 3 DAYS, THEY STILL KEEP FIGHTNING AND HAVE A CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!! And everyone who speaks up to their spamming is a troll, shill, hacker, bootlicker etc.

Sorry for the rant, but I can't take this anymore , I think I'm gonna turn off the internet for a few days or just come to this sub sometimes, because it's so fucking stressful, THEY ARE LITERALLY SURROUNDED AND LOSING FROM THE MOST POWERFUL ARMY IN THE FUCKING WORLD AND THEY AND WESTERNERS STILL THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE and are memeing the hell of out this WAR thinking it's gonna do something and non-stop talking about it even though we had all the wars in Middle East and Africa and all those coups in South America last 20+ years and no one was/is talking about it because it's not in ''Europe'' ''civilised world''... FUCK THEM, FUCK THE WEST, FUCK EUROPE AND THEIR CAPITALISM AND SUPPORTING THE NAZIS AND OTHER SCUM!
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TIFU by violently sh*tting in my toddler’s potty
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TIFU by violently sh*tting in my toddler’s potty

This evening after dinner I was cleaning up and started feeling a rumbly in my tummy. I called my husband (who I thought was downstairs) to come up and watch our toddler as I needed to poop.

I couldn't wait for him so I ran up the stairs trusting he would arrive shortly.

I was clenching for dear life as I rounded the corner into our bedroom. I threw open the
bathroom door and to my absolute horror, saw my husband sitting on our toilet. I screamed something unintelligible and in a blind panic all I could think to do was aim for the mini potty my 2 year old daughter uses in our bathroom.

Shortly after everything in my bowels was ejected, my daughter came into our bathroom looking for us because obviously her dad never showed up to watch her.

I watched her tiny face morph from confusion to abject horror as she realized what happened.

It got worse once I realized there was no way to ever clean that potty enough for her to use it again and bagged it up for the trash. My daughter started freaking out and having an all out toddler meltdown saying that I ruined her potty that she “loves more than anything in the world.”

Thanks to Amazon Prime a new one is arriving between 7a-11a tomorrow.

TL;DR I had violent diarrhea in my toddler's mini potty, she became enraged, a new one is arriving tomorrow.
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TIFU by violently sh*tting in my toddler’s potty
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This evening after dinner I was cleaning up and started feeling a rumbly in my tummy. I called my husband (who I thought was downstairs) to come up and watch our toddler as I needed to poop.

I couldn't wait for him so I ran up the stairs trusting he would arrive shortly.

I was clenching for dear life as I rounded the corner into our bedroom. I threw open the
bathroom door and to my absolute horror, saw my husband sitting on our toilet. I screamed something unintelligible and in a blind panic all I could think to do was aim for the mini potty my 2 year old daughter uses in our bathroom.

Shortly after everything in my bowels was ejected, my daughter came into our bathroom looking for us because obviously her dad never showed up to watch her.

I watched her tiny face morph from confusion to abject horror as she realized what happened.

It got worse once I realized there was no way to ever clean that potty enough for her to use it again and bagged it up for the trash. My daughter started freaking out and having an all out toddler meltdown saying that I ruined her potty that she “loves more than anything in the world.”

Thanks to Amazon Prime a new one is arriving between 7a-11a tomorrow.

TL;DR I had violent diarrhea in my toddler's mini potty, she became enraged, a new one is arriving tomorrow.

From r/tifu
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Furry bad memes should stop
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In my opinion, furry bad memes should stop. Sure, there are some bad apples but even then the good apples are getting caught in the crossfire. There's probably only like what, about 34% of good furries that has yet to be shot with toxicity from possibly 9 year olds that somehow got access to the Internet?

For me, the only time getting angry at a furry is okay is if the aforementioned furry does some weird shit.

I don't give a shit if you downvote me or not. It's my opinion. It depends on whether you agree or disagree.
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The hardest part of being a dad is
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Seeing your kid become a weeb :(
One day he's a functional member of society and the next day he wearing a hentai shirt.
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Putin Has Zero Bitches
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⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠈⠁⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⡄⠀⢀⣧⡀⠈⠀⢀⣼⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢀⢷⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣦⡀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣸⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠒⣴⣦⣄⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⡿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣶⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⡇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⡷⠶⢾⡇⠀⢀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⣤⡀⠀⠈⢿
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⠃⢀⢠⡀⣠⣴⣧⣤⣤⣿⣧⣤⣬⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣧⣤⣼⣤⣤⣼⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣦⣤⣤⡤⠊
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9 years ago I clogged the toilet with a massive shit and humiliated an innocent girl by letting her take the blame (r/Confessions)
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I was 18 years old, my friend lived in a student flat and there were about 10 people round drinking and having a good time. I ended up briefly leaving to go to the shops to get some cigarettes and other bits and pieces but stopped on the way out to take a shit. The shit was huge, 9 years later it was still the biggest shit I've ever seen and when I tried to flush it away it clogged the wastepipe and formed a water tight seal so the bowl just filled up. Since there was no water flowing out the toilet it wasn't loud enough for anyone in the other room to hear me flush over the sounds of the music and conversation.

I quickly washed my hands and left to go to the shop. When I returned I just let myself back in the room and kept quiet about the shit. About 10 or so minutes later a girl called emily left the room to go to the bathroom, my heart was pounding. She was in there an unusually long time and when she returned she announced that the toilet was clogged, a bunch of people stood up to have a look and they were howling with laughter at how disgustingly big this shit was.

Obviously it didnt take long before people were questioning who was responsible for this disgusting display and someone jokingly (yet seriously) said to the girl "you're the only one who's been in there in like an hour". Someone else followed by saying "yeah, I went in before you and I only had a piss, john knows, he was standing outside". It was perfect, I was actually getting away with this. Nobody knew that I used the toilet before leaving the flat. Another person said "you were in there for like 10 minutes", she responded by saying she was on her phone and even though it was most likely the truth, it just sounded like a poor excuse. She was obviously getting upset and in her humiliated state tried to bargian by saying "it probably came back up through the pipes", people burst out laughing. Oh jesus she really dug her grave with that comment.

It was incredible, even though she was totally innocent, people already built evidence that she was responsible for the monster shit. SHE was the last to use the bathroom, SHE was in there for 10 minutes, the person before her claimed they had a piss into an un-clogged toilet and even had a witness to back up their story. It was a closed case, if this was a court of law she would be found guilty. People were convinced she did it and there I was, the actual perpetrator standing there quietly feeling a strange mix of guilt and relief.

Everyone was a bit drunk so it's no surprise people were being a bit nasty about it, mocking her, laughing at her. There were a few people laughing so hard they were in tears. It didnt take long before she burst into tears and left. She was always known as "the girl who clogged the toilet with a massive shit". We didnt see her at all after that, she avoided us completely.
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