🚨ALERT ALERT🚨 World War III ☣️ is CUMMING! 💦💦 Daddy 💪🏻 Putin & his troops 🪖🎖PENETRATED🍆💦 Ukraine 😩😩 at the eastern B-WHORE-der 😂 in an act of 🤪SEXUAL AGGRESSION😈😈 The UniTIT 🇺🇳nations ☮️ has impHOEsed ✅eCUMnomic 💰sanctions to CHOKE 😵😵Putin & make him 🇷🇺🪆PULL OUT🕳🕳early! 🪖🪖 A MILFitary draft 🎫🎫 could mean 😱 the loss 😭 of all HUNG 👅 🇺🇸daddies🥺🥺….so get down ⬇️ on those 🧎🏽‍♀️knees🧎🏽‍♀️and SaLUTe🖖 dat dick 🌽🌽til your man 😩SHOOTS😩 his 💦WHITE RUSSIAN💦 all over you‼️ Send this to 🔟 Soviet 🇷🇺Sucking 👅😝😝SLUTS to get 🗼Eiffel 🗼Towered 🤸🏼‍♀️ by PUTIN 👴🏻AND DADDY JOE👨🏻‍🦳 for 6️⃣9️⃣ more years😂😂😂😂

Dear Ukrainians!

I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that polish border is closed.

It's a lie.

If you seek asylum - go towards polish border. They are ready for your arrival. They have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, medical and legal aid.

Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: [ua.gov.pl](https://ua.gov.pl)

Please share this information if you know anyone seeking help right now.

YOU DON'T NEED VISA TO PASS THROUGH POLISH BORDER. ALL YOU NEED IS PASSPORT. VISAS ARE SUSPENDED! YOU DON'T NEED THEM FOR TIME BEING!!!!!!

• ⁠in Ukrainian [https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua](https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua) • ⁠in English [https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en](https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en)

I’m attracted to my own dick, it’s so fucking pretty, and a really good size. Ik what you are going to ask, am I gay? now, i’m pan with a genital preference, not attracted to penis other than my own, sometimes i masturbate to my own penis, i don’t look at porn or anything else, just my own dick, and it’s probably the best organism i have

Edit: I’m 18 btw!

I’m attracted to my own dick, it’s so fucking pretty, and a really good size. Ik what you are going to ask, am I gay? now, i’m pan with a genital preference, not attracted to penis other than my own, sometimes i masturbate to my own penis, i don’t look at porn or anything else, just my own dick, and it’s probably the best organism i have

fucking cringe, get that fucking dumbass ad off your platform, dumb ass bitches. that ad signifies dating because of these whiteass sour cream lookin ass slenders who are forty year old men sitting behind their 2009 dell computer dating 6 year old girls. fuck this ad and the person who made it. it's fucking retarded on how idiotic the person making the game is. like really. they didn't expect forty year old men to go on there just to find some fatherless 6 year old child to fuck? like for real it's basically begging it's dick and balls off for that situation to occur. this is the stupidest shit and shouldn't be tolerated on your platform. 11 year old girls are going on these dating games to meet up with their fucking stitchface ass dumbass boyfriends like for real you dumbass bitches can't ban child predators and you can't stop exploiting minors from making games on your platform but you can let this slide. oh fuck, i can't believe you've done this. i hat you roblox and your poopy child predators

Look, if you had one shot
or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
in one moment
Would you capture it, or just let it slip? Yo

His bombs are heavy, Kiev's weak, can't hold steady

His troops are in Crimea already, Scarin' John Kerry.

He's nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready

To drop bombs- but he keeps on forgettin'

About Moscow, the protests get so loud

He gives the order and right then the troops roll out.

Fuck the pacifists, he can just choke 'em out,

Peacetime's over, the game's up, WORLD WAR NOW!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠙⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡿⠛⠛⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⠇⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⣴⣦⠀⠀⠀⠺⣇⠀ ⢠⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀ ⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠀⠀⢀⠈⣸⡇ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠠⠄⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣶⣤⣤⣴⠟⣷ ⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠶⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠀⠀⡟ ⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃ ⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡴⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠶⠶⠟⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Fortnite 😩 Battle 🤯 Pass 😱
I 🥵 just 🤪 shit 👻 out 😺 my 💪 ass 😎
Booted 😍 up 🤣 my 😪 PC, 🤬 caused 💀 I 🎃 need 👊 need 👀
To 👨‍🦳 get 🐸 that 🔥 Fortnite 😈 Battle 😷 Pass 🤡
I ✨ like 👍 Fortnite 🧎‍♂️
Did 🙄 I 😐 mention 😡 Fortnite? 🤩
I 😭 like 😱 Fortnite 😂
It’s 😚 nighttime 👨‍⚕️
I 💅 mean, 👨‍🦯 5:00, 👨‍👩‍👦 that’s 🐒 basically 🦧 nighttime 😹
Y’all ☝️ remember 👄 Cartoon 🍞Network? 🤽‍♂️
Adventure 🥴 Time? 😵

Players can get some of the earliest glimpses into the pizzeria's history through the minigames in each of the main titles. Before being called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, the first restaurant was called Fredbear's Family Diner. Two men opened the original restaurant and its several rebrandings as co-owners: William Afton and Henry Emily.

Their restaurant's concept was to create a special place for children's birthday parties. While mostly serving pizza and cake, the thing that made this restaurant chain special was their "animatronic" wait staff and entertainment. Originally, they were unable to create animatronics. So, instead, they crafted two spring-lock suits that they or their staff could wear to appear as animatronics or place on a stage to perform. Their names were Springbonnie and Fredbear. The concept for the business did so well that they ended up creating a second location: Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

Within this new location, four new animatronics were created and adored. They were Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy. William Afton would use his success and the spring-lock suits to act on his cruel and abusive thoughts toward the children who flocked to his restaurant, specifically the five children at the birthday party that he murdered after luring them into the backrooms with the spring-lock Bonnie suit.

To cover up his sick actions, he made all of the suits fully automated but still hollow enough for children to fit inside. Once they were all automated, he placed the children's bodies within them to discard the evidence—placing the children's souls within each of the animatronics. With no bodies or evidence, no charges could be pressed against William Afton. However, the missing children's case eventually caused the second location to close.

After the closing of the second establishment and Afton's growing interest in capturing children, William created another sister location, based on his new animatronic, Circus Baby. This location, Circus Baby's Pizza World, was only owned by Afton but served the same basic concept. Circus Baby was made specifically to draw children to her by acting child-like. She could blow up helium balloons, dispense ice cream, and use her claw to grab children and stuff them inside of her.

Circus Baby was specifically designed for trapping and killing children when she was alone with them in a one-on-one situation. Despite being a despicable man, Afton had a family—two sons and a daughter. He actively kept his children away from animatronics, such as Circus Baby, to keep them safe. However, Circus Baby's design was too entrancing to his youngest, Elizabeth, and she was consumed by the animatronic. Circus Baby became aware of the soul of Elizabeth inside her. After losing his daughter to his creation, he shut down the sister location immediately.

As players likely noticed, the fourth main title within the series is quite different from previous versions of the game. Instead of playing as a new hire within the facility to work nights and watch after the animatronics, players are a child who is haunted at night by the animatronics. This child is Evan Afton, the youngest son of William Afton.

After losing his only daughter to Circus Baby, William chose to scare his youngest son away from the animatronics using a frequency that would cause his son to hallucinate. During these hallucinations, Evan would believe that the animatronics from the restaurant were within his home and trying to reach his room and eat him.

On top of this, William encouraged his older teenage son, Michael, to bully Evan and regularly scare him with a Foxy mask. However, Michael purely chose to bully Evan out of his malicious intent and ended up bullying Evan inside the diner for his birthday party. He gets his friends to help him do this and pushes Evan into the mouth of an on-stage animatronic to truly scare him. Due to the design of the spring-lock animatronic, Evan's tears caused the suit to fail and crush him inside the mouth.

The suit had crushed Evan's head, and after heading to the hospital, he was put into a coma to be stabilized. This would not last, however, and Evan ended up dying in his coma. Despite all the work that William had done to keep Evan from being killed by any of his animatronics, he failed to reign in Michael and inadvertently caused his eventual death. After losing a second child to the animatronics, the original diner closed, and William descended into madness.

William leaves Fazbear Entertainment, and Henry is left to solve all the problems in his stead. As he isn't the inventor of the animatronics and knows how many issues there are with the spring-lock suits, there are a lot of problems for him to sort out. He hires a full team to work out all of the previous issues and create a new name within Fazbear Entertainment.

This included stocking the old animatronics in a backroom and creating the new and improved "toy" versions of Freddy, Chica, Bonnie, and Foxy. They also added a couple of new animatronics into the mix, like Balloon Boy. As an extra added security feature, Henry gave the animatronics facial recognition systems, specifically meant to spot and remove William if he ever returned. Later, he created the Puppet animatronic to protect his daughter, Charlie, as he was nervous about bringing her to the new establishment, Junior Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria.

After the death of Evan, everything went downhill for William. His wife became unstable and left, while he berated and blamed Michael for Evan's death. William went back to the closed original Fazbear's and destroyed the spring-lock suit that had crushed Evan before placing Evan's body inside the suit to try and put him back together. Upon hearing about the grand opening of a new Fazbear's, he immediately drove there.

Security stopped him from entering, and he was met by Henry, who heatedly asked him to leave and reminded him that it was his fault that all the children died in the previous restaurant. Angered by this, Afton left, making plans to get his revenge on the co-owner of Fazbear Entertainment. He chooses to go after Henry's daughter, Charlie.

Afton kept the Puppet animatronic from being able to watch out for Charlie by locking his container. Because it was stuck closed, Charlie ended up being stuck just outside the restaurant long enough for William to take his revenge. The Puppet animatronic was eventually able to break free of his box to try to rescue Charlie, but it was too late, and as the rain was heavy that night, it broke down beside her in the alleyway.

With the loss of Charlie, the Puppet began giving life to the children who were murdered within the pizzeria. However, these reanimated versions didn't appear in the old animatronics. Instead, they were hosted within the new "toy" versions.

Customers didn't notice, as the reanimated versions still acted the way they were supposed to during their working hours. The children within the animatronics simply gained a new motive: to find their killer. This is what causes their odd behavior at night, as they are trying to reach the security office to make sure Afton isn't in the building.

However, the unruly kids that came to play at Fazbear's repeatedly ripped Mangle apart. After one too many times, Mangle bit the child who was tearing it apart, and the child lost part of their frontal lobe. This caused the company to scrap all of the animatronics, except for the Puppet, to ensure the safety of all children.

After arguing with and murdering his wife, William begins crafting three new animatronics: Playtime Freddy, Playtime Foxy, and Ballora. Ballora is the only completely new design, a ballerina animatronic containing his wife's body. Together with the original Circus Baby, he had a full staff to create a new location; Circus Baby's Entertainment & Rentals.

Due to both creators of the animatronics reusing the original endoskeletons of the old models, the new creations were still possessed by the victims of William Afton. Over time, Afton eventually realized this and decided that he had to destroy the animatronics all over again. One by one he took each of them down. Overjoyed at his victory, he put on the Springbonnie suit once more to celebrate. Forgetting the fatal flaw of the suit, he ignored the rain dribbling through the open-air part of the backrooms and the suit crushes him nearly to death.

Henry witnesses Afton's assumed death but tells no one, instead, locking off all entrances into the backrooms and trying his best to cover up the beaten animatronics. With all of his attempts and failures to keep Junior Freddy Fazbear's Pizza open and safe, he finally decides to close the facility for good.

After the mysterious disappearance of Michael's father, Michael decides to disguise himself as a technician and go work at his father's newest facility, Circus Baby's Entertainment & Rentals. With the technician cover, Michael was able to get up close with the animatronics and fully explore the place. Through his exploration, he mainly spoke with Circus Baby, who tried to give him the information he sought.

She brought him into the scooping room, where the animatronics are emptied of their endoskeletons and anything else hidden inside of them. Circus Baby made sure that Michael saw Ballora be opened, the animatronic his mother was placed inside of.

Michael didn't realize what exactly Circus Baby was showing him, but he knew there had to be something important about Ballora. After making an unanswered call to his mother, he returned to Circus Baby's Entertainment & Rentals one final time.

Unannounced to Michael, Circus Baby and the rest of the animatronics wished to leave the facility. They knew that as their endoskeletal and suited form, they would be recognized and stopped. So as a last resort, they bound themselves together and scooped Michael out to use his skin as a new suit. With this, they successfully fled the facility and began the search to destroy William.

Over time, the amalgamation of animatronics called Ennard that entered Micheal's body struggled to deal with Circus Baby and pushed her out. Both rebuilt themselves, becoming Scrap Baby and Molten Freddy. Somehow after 30 years of this, Micheal was somewhat alive.

During this time a new horror attraction is born; Fazbear's Fright. Unfortunately, in doing their research, the people building the attraction went through the shutdown diners and found Scraptrap or William Afton within his suit. He became their main feature to roam the new attraction.

Michael hears of the newest attraction and recognizes his father within Scraptrap. Knowing what he needs to do, he travels to the attraction and starts a fire that traps and engulfs the "animatronic." This brought peace to the spirits of the five children, who were inhabiting the various suits. Allowing them to be free and finish their original birthday party from over 30 years ago. However, Charlie, or the Puppet, and Golden Freddy, or Evan Afton, stayed behind to ensure that William and everything he had done was fixed.

Henry Emily now knowledgeable of all the evil deeds that William had committed, wanted one thing; to nullify William's actions. In order to do this, he creates a new location to draw back all of the lost souls/animatronics called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Place and hires a manager to do all of the stagings and set up for the business.

This brought Michael, Scrap Baby, L.E.F.T.Y., Molten Freddy, and William back to the scene, drawn by different things. Henry planned for all of them to meet at a big event held at the Pizza Place on Saturday. During this "party" each of the animatronics were let to freely do as they wished within the dining facility, where they all turned on one another. Then Henry spoke over the intercom to interrupt their fight and leave them with a few final words.

With this final speech, Henry Emily burns down this establishment with himself, the manager, and all the animatronics trapped inside. This fire releases all but one spirit. The spirit of Evan, within Golden Freddy. It wasn't until he'd replayed everything he had been through for another 20 years that he would finally choose to let go.

After the death of both original founders and the original animatronics, Fazbear Entertainment was officially taken over by new businessmen to make something of the franchise. They hired an indie game developer to create a series of games to remove the dark rumors floating around their franchise. Within the game development team, Vanessa arrived.

While developing this new series of VR games they decided to upload some of the old animatronics' coding into the game, creating the "Anomaly." A creature that would appear in-game and specifically talk to one person within the team; Jeremy. Jeremy became overwhelmed with the anomaly, and with no one at the company listening to him, committed suicide while at work.

Vanessa happens to overhear the higher-ups talking about how this suicide will make the company look worse for an upcoming court date. When she tries to confront them on all of this information she is forced to playtest the game, taking on Jeremy's job.

Vanessa records logs of the anomaly within the game, unknowingly allowing Glitchtrap to attach himself to the code of these undeletable files. She tries to break apart the files to keep Glitchtrap broken apart, but instead, he invades her mind. Keeping himself alive within her mind.

Vanessa gains a split personality and creates a bunny suit to wear when Glitchtrap comes out. While reluctant to do so, she follows Glitchtrap's instructions to resurrect Scraptrap a.k.a. William Afton. Shortly after this, Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex opens and Vanessa becomes a security guard there.

During Vanessa's time at the Pizzaplex, she tries to find more ways to bring back the remnant of Scraptrap with the technology housed there and murders children caught in the complex after hours. Throughout this time, she visits a therapist to try and fix her mind. The therapist discovers encrypted threatening messages from someone online who is manipulating her. However, Vanny stops each therapist once they are too close to discovering the truth and murders them.

Later during one of Freddy's performances, something tries to infect his code and causes him to shut down. When he reawakens, Gregory is inside his stomach hatch. This is the start of Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach. Throughout the game, Gregory damages each of the main animatronics in order to upgrade Freddy into the best animatronic. Despite all of their work together, Freddy cannot escape with Gregory once the doors reopen in the morning.

They travel together underground to find Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Place, where all the original souls had been put to rest. Freddy mentions that Vanny has brought him here before and that she made him realize he wasn't himself. Through the power of the charging stations, Vanny reconstructed Scraptrap's body and transferred William's data to the animatronic from Glitchtrap.

Over the time of the mall's construction, Fazbear Entertainment had been throwing all of the old haunted animatronics down here, which were slowly building into a new amalgamation. When the amalgamation witnesses the rebirth of William via Scraptrap, it takes him down, allowing Freddy and Gregory to leave and the spirits to be at rest again.

And that is the entire fnaf lore.

"I just got off the phone with the Imposter from Among Us. Terrific guy, loves the crewmates very much. It's like the old game Baron was playing called Among Us! You know what they're saying about Among Us, they say it's super big right now- maybe even bigger than Lincoln. You play as this little guy, he's called the Crewmate! And you know what he does? He runs around doing tasks! But the Imposter, oh he's no good folks, we don't like him very much. One player is the imposter, and it's their job to kill all of the crewmates without getting caught- and if they get caught, one of the crewmates goes 'That's kinda sus.' Many people have been saying this, they've been saying 'Red sus.' And I say to those people, look, we're looking very closely at it. I talked to General Kelly, we have a big deal coming in with the imposter folks- it's going to be very big, one of the biggest deals in the history of deals. But the fake news media, oh the fake news media. Rachel Maddow is trying to say that I colluded with the Imposter to win the election- not true folks! Crooked Hillary lost fair and square, we had the biggest election victory in the history of election victories, folks! The fake news media will never talk about how Obama wiretapped my Among Us Discord call, complete silence on that from the fake news media. I don't think that's very fair, do you folks?"

KYS

K: Kill yourself?

Y: You shouldn't!

S: Should you call the national suicide prevention hotline? Yes!

1-800-273-8255

Please add to the conversation when you reply to a post (i.e. share your experiences with homosexuality and/or penguins) instead. Posting these one word replies may get you a lot of karma but it degrades the quality of conversations on Reddit significantly and makes you sound like a low class person from the ghetto.

What the fuck is a uniqua?
I get the penguin. I get the moose. The kangaroo. Even the fat hippo chick. Poor girl. Of all the animals in the world, they make her a hippo. Must do wonders for her self esteem.

Anyhow, what's up with the pink bitch?

I'm too lazy to google it. I would rather write at length about my consternation at trying to figure out if she was some sort of slug creature, but ruled that out because a slug should realistically be tiny compared to the other characters, ignoring the fact that the moose is the same size as the penguin. Maybe it's a baby moose? Who knows? She's definitely not a slug though.

And what's up with the overalls? I find the show's inconsistent treatment of wardrobe highly troubling. Tasha gets a nice little dress, despite her weight problem. Uniqua gets overalls. Poor little Pablo is completely naked, save for a dinky little tie, like some third-rate Chippendale's dancer. Stay classy, Pablo. The other boys on the show at least get t-shirts, though their lack of pants is disturbing. Have they no embarassing boy-bits to keep covered up? The girls on the show are modestly dressed, but the boys are forced to cavort around exposing their moose-parts and kangaroo-bits? I'll tell you what that is. Sexism. Outright sexism.

——————————No bitches——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ —————————————————————————————

Obligatory IANG (I am not Gay). My friend, (21m) and me (23m) have known each other since we met at work (retail) about a year ago. Now, I'm not saying his cock is anatomically damaged, in fact his member has an impressive girth to length ratio with a subtle yet formidable curve. I only know this since we hang out at my apartment(1100sq/ft) and after gym sessions we take a shower together to save water (we're both eco-friendly). He always sleeps in my bed (300 thread count) to save electricity. He usually spents the night since he lives with his mother (45f) and her house is 5 miles from the gym - he's too tired to drive (2013 prius). Now, I'm concerned since he says he hasn't had a relationship since high school; he mentioned to me a few times how lonely he is. I know his cock must ache for a tight hole and sexual health is important for a young, well endowed man. Also, when he thinks I've falling asleep he starts to masturbate next to me and whispers out names of girls he knew in HS - Alex, Kelly, and Dani. To confort him I whip out my throbbing knob out of my Captain America underwear and start jack-off in solidarity for him. He's not alone in this struggle. As we both reach climax he grasps my hand (left) and finishes. He then turns to me and softly says, "thank you, bro" before quickly falling asleep.

I just don't know what to do for him. I've considered asking him to start therapy to build his confidence.

I like shitting when I masturbate.

So for those not in the know, holding in a mean steamer puts a lot of pressure in your prostate. And I mean a lot. (I take big shits). Basically, I get really grossed out by dildos, and I don’t like the idea of putting something phallic in my asshole, you can call me homophobic if you want.

However, I am envious of the euphoria associated with prostate simulation.

Thus, I have found the beautiful and masculine medium of shitturbating.

I will hold in a log for days, (typically up to 5) and when I’m in the mood, I will edge my shit (this is where I poke the turtlehead out and force it back in repeatedly). This talent took a while to master, but now I can perform the maneuver for up to 10 minutes: grinding my chocolate load against my tender love button.

When I’m about to climax, I usually like to splooge out both ends. Something about the feeling finality and release makes me shudder in the deepest places.

I recommend this activity to everyone, just make sure you do so on the toilet, and don’t hold it in for too long or risk tearing your asshole open.

Dear Ukrainians!

I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that Poland doesn't have midget porn.

It’s a lie.

If you seek midget porn - go towards polish border. We are ready for your arrival. We have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, and a personal 2TB hard drive of midget porn.

Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: midgetporn.gov.pl

Please share this information if you know anyone seeking midget porn right now.

# The most fucked up thing I wish I could unsee

📷

First off I wanna say that it's 2022 and people need to wake the fuck up already. There is 100% without a doubt a small group that owns literally everything who have been running shit since biblical times, anyone with hald a brain that actually does some genuine research into it will come to the same realization eventually because there is such an overwhelming amount of evidence it's ridiculous. If we, the people don't wake up and do something soon then we're all fucked. There is no one person that is gonna come along to fix everything and save us, especially not the politicians we've allowed to rule us. They want us divided, confused, afraid and so preoccupied with the rat race of life that most people don't even have the time or energy to put 2 and 2 together about their plans to enslave and dramatically depopulate the planet. If that sounds like a bunch of paranoid bullshit to you then tell me why and ill be glad to point u in the direction of some hard evidence so you can educate yourself and begin to see the world for what it really is. Love and understanding is what we need to have for each other especially in the days to come. I believe in us. We can win.

That being said, what I'm about to tell yall is so fucked up and unbelievable I have no doubt people will have a hard time accepting it but it is the truth. Call me what you want, it will come out eventually I just hope I live to see the day that happens. So a couple years ago I was was on the deep web looking for a video of Hillary Clinton that she went to great lengths to destory, but not before being seen by a few certain military and law enforcement agents. After days of searching I found what I was looking for and I swear it still haunts me unlike anything else ever has. That demonic bitch Hillary filmed herself and some other person as they proceeded to fillet a little girl's face off. She couldn't have been more then 10 years old, and these cowards were laughing while that poor fucking kid was screaming and crying the most blood chilling screams. I've never heard someone scream like that before and I hope I never do again, that little girl screaming out of what must have been pure agony and terror still gives me nightmares every now and then. That was someone's daughter, and being a father with a daughter myself that shit really fucked me up. Needless to say I did not sit thru the whole video, I pulled the plug from my computer because I didn't want to click it away I just wanted it to be off. Angry, terrified, and heartbroken I sat there and cried. It took my girlfriend a week of asking what's wrong with me before I told her. She never saw me cry before that and was kind of shook up by it I guess. Being from where I'm from I've seen and been thru some shit, I've done some fucked up shit too. Im from the ghetto, was raised by dope dealers around a bunch of gang shit and drug shit. It's made me somewhat numb to shit like people getting killed, cold-blooded even. I've seen snuff films, shit I've seen people get shot right next to me. Trust me when I say know the fucking difference between what's real and what's just some hollywood bullshit, and that shit was real. Hillary clinton is a evil fucking demonic piece of shit and I hope she gets what's coming to her in the slowest and most horrific way possible, i don't give a fuck there is nothing that little girl could have done to make her deserve that shit. I pray yall wake up soon because that little girl is just one of many innocent victims, and Hillary is just one of many monsters that preys on children. Think about all the children that go missing without a trace. one day it's gonna come out that all these celebrities and politicians we worship have been killing kids, even breeding them specifically to be killed in satanic ritual sacrifices. The reality of the world we live in is so fucked up. This really is hell

I haven't been on reddit much but I have a story that happened a few weeks ago.

For some backstory, I'm shifting to Hogwarts, I have a very elaborate script that I spent weeks making. I've been trying to shift for a little over a year now.

A few weeks ago, while I was sleeping, I had a very vivid dream about Voldemort and it looked so real. In the middle of this dream I think I became slightly lucid and I got the idea to try and shift. Then, I started to shift I think. I felt my body moving around, just how I envisioned shifting to feel. As I started to open my eyes, I saw that I was in the Great Hall. I was so excited, for I knew I had finally shifted after so many months of hard work. Then, I took a look around, and soon realized........... I was in LEGO Hogwarts. HOW DID I MESS UP SO BAD THAT I ENDED UP IN LEGO HOGWARTS. I don't know whether I should feel proud or disappointed. Needless to say, I only stayed there for a few minutes, mainly because LEGO Hermione freaked me out. Anyways, I hope my failure made someone laugh. Have a good day.

🏴‍☠️ ARCHIVING IS PIRACY 🦜

👉 AND YOU 👈

👮‍♂️SHOULD GO TO JAIL 🚔

💃FOR NOT BUYING MORE BARRY MANILOW CD'S🍹

🚗 When ur Mom's PT Cruiser was repo'd in '07 💸