Dear Ukrainians!

I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that polish border is closed.

It's a lie.

If you seek asylum - go towards polish border. We are ready for your arrival. We have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, medical and legal aid.

Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: ua.gov.pl

Please share this information if you know anyone seeking help right now.

EDIT: YOU DON'T NEED VISA TO PASS THROUGH POLISH BORDER. ALL YOU NEED IS PASSPORT. VISAS ARE SUSPENDED! YOU DON'T NEED THEM FOR TIME BEING!!!!!!

EDIT 2: as a proof that you no longer need visa:

• ⁠in Ukrainian https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua • ⁠in English https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en

EDIT 3: I have unconfirmed information saying that you can pass polish border even without passport. Your ukrainian ID is enough.

EDIT 4: It's confirmed that you can also take your pet with you without additional papework which normally would be required to cross the border of EU/Poland. https://www.wetgiw.gov.pl/main/aktualnosci/Tymczasowa-procedura-przemieszczania-zwierzat-towarzyszacych-z-terytorium-Ukrainy-na-teren-Polski-przez-osoby-nie-posiadajace-kompletu-dokumentow-weterynaryjnych-dla-psow-kotow-i-fretek/idn:1999

(I’m not the author of this post, I’m just trying to get it to as many people as possible- I encourage you to do the same)

Caught in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28 🤨 📸

-1,68m manlet 😈🙏🏻

-0 pussy 😹

-0 major cities conquered 💀

-0 hairs left on his head 😈🙏🏻

-currency less valuable than robux 🔥👍

-empty threats merchant 🤯

-1,68cm 😹😹😹😹

Better dictator than Stalin??? 🔥

I stood on my desk in class when I saw the notification, I then proceeded to say “THIS IS IN CONTEXT + RATIO” and everyone began to cheer for me, my crush asked me out, I got perfect grades, and principal made me king of of the school

When I was a little kid I kind of had this problem. Not even that big of a deal, something like 8% of kids do it but whatever. For some reason I don’t know why, I would just kind of sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks. I’d sit there for hours and draw dicks. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t touch pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. Here I am just a little kid and I can’t stop drawing dicks to save my own life. In the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. Even I thought it was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think. So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. Turns out someone found out and told on me and she rats me out to the principal. The principal finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic and he thinks I’m possessed by some dick devil. My parents make me see the therapist and he is asking me dick questions. My parents made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. No hot dog no Popsicles. Do you know how many foods are shaped like dicks? Like the best kind.

When I was a little kid I kind of had this problem. Not even that big of a deal, something like 8% of kids do it but whatever. For some reason I don’t know why, I would just kind of sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks. I’d sit there for hours and draw dicks. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t touch pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. Here I am just a little kid and I can’t stop drawing dicks to save my own life. In the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. Even I thought it was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think. So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. Turns out someone found out and told on me and she rats me out to the principal. The principal finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic and he thinks I’m possessed by some dick devil. My parents make me see the therapist and he is asking me dick questions. My parents made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. No hot dog no Popsicles. Do you know how many foods are shaped like dicks? Like the best kind.

You aren't smart enough to troll this subreddit. You can't beat us. Ever. It won't work no matter how pink your face gets. Unless talking to yourself and making us laugh is your life purpose, you should channel that inept seething into something productive. r/westerner We look forward to your crying response which we will definitely 100% read.

\> I know you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful

Right off the bat, Miranda decides to phrase her desire to change the world as “somehow the world will change for me.” This implies that not only will the world get better, but it will do it for her sake. This line also uses a classic propaganda rhetorical technique of suggesting that you already agree with this: “I know you see.”

\> Live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful

Nothing particularly ominous here, probably because Miranda is trying to make people more comfortable after she expressed her desire to have the entire world bend to her will. She reminds you that you will feel wonderful in this new world. These first two lines are definitely the most purely positive lines in the song, which becomes more blatant the longer it goes on.

\> I will make you change your mind

Listen to the phrasing of this. She will \*make\* you change your mind. As in, if you don’t buy into the previous interpretation and see how wonderful the world will become for you under her rule, then she will \*force\* you to change your mind.

\> These things happen all the time

When do we use a phrase like this? It’s not when we are describing something that’s obviously wonderful and amazing, it’s when we are talking about something bad.

This suggests that Miranda here is being an apologist for something that you, the listener, perceive as bad, and trying to convince you that it’s actually normal and “happens all the time.” This could be referring to whatever she is going to do to “make you change your mind,” but I think it could also be more broadly applied to some of the more evil things that Miranda’s dictatorship has accomplished by this point.

These two lines taken together (“I will make you change your mind” and “These things happen all the time”) tell us that Miranda is definitely operating under an assumption that you have some sort of reservations about living in her “wonderful” world that she needs to convince you out of. Most people who first hear this song assume that Miranda is just a general do gooder who wants to make the world a better place, but we don’t feel the need to say things like this when the “changing the world” we are talking about is volunteering for a charity or just making people happy through entertainment. Clearly she’s talking about “changing the world” in a much more controversial way - by taking control of it. That’s why the whole world is changing “for her” - not just changing for the better.

\> And it's all real I'm telling you just how I feel

Why would we think any of this isn’t real? Or that Miranda isn’t telling us how she really feels? Just like in the previous line, saying things like this only makes sense when you think the other person has a reason to doubt it in the first place. This line essentially boils down to “I’m not lying to you.”

Let’s recap this whole section: up to this point in the song, Miranda wants the world to change “for her,” really wants to convince you that it will be “wonderful,” feels like she has to “change your mind” about something, and assumes that you perceive that thing as bad, reassuring you that it actually “happens all the time,” and also feels the need to reassure you that she isn’t lying to you. This is a really bizarre tack to take in a song that’s just generically motivational. We’ve got two lines about how great things are going to be, followed up by three lines insisting that if you think anything is bad, you’re wrong and your mind will be changed (forcibly, if necessary).

\> So wake up the members of my nation, it's your time to be

This is pretty obvious. A direct reference to the members of Miranda’s nation, and “waking them up” which is a pretty typical phrase we hear a lot in political propaganda. This is also when Miranda clarifies who the “you” in this song is - the members of her nation.

\> There's no chance unless you take one and the time to see the brighter side of every situation, some things are meant to be

This is when Miranda starts to ramp up the motivation and wants to invigorate the members of her nation to action. Just like in the “these things happen all the time” line, there’s an implicit assumption here that you may perceive something wrong with what she’s saying - she’s asking you to look at the “bright side.” And of course, some things are meant to be. Miranda wants to legitimize her authority by saying that it was preordained and always meant to be.

\> So give me your best and leave the rest to me

Here we get the main theme and message of the song - you are going to provide all your effort, Miranda is going to provide the actual decision making. Crucially, she’s not telling you to do your best, to give the situation your best, or to be your best. She says “give ME your best.” (Similarly, later in the song she says “show ME what you can become.”) Just like the world will change “for ME.” Every time Miranda motivates you to be better and love yourself in this song, it’s somehow connected back to her and what she wants.

\> I know it's time to raise the hand that draws the line and be so wonderful

I don’t really see any other interpretation of this line other than an expression of authority. Miranda will be the one who “draws the line” - who determines what it right, and what is wrong. The phrasing is very authoritative as well - “It’s time to raise the hand that draws the line.” The suggestion that “the time has come” and the imagery of hands/fists is generally evocative of control and authority.

\> Golden sunshine I know somehow it's gonna be mine and feel so wonderful

Miranda doesn’t just want to change the world. She wants to own the world. She wants it to “be mine.” Even the sun will be hers.

These are probably the two most ominous lines in this whole song, and in my opinion the only two lines that don’t make sense in the context that this song is motivational, or that she is talking about a normal level of ambition for her webshow. Yet, they make perfect sense in the context that Miranda wants to control everything, to dominate the entire world. She will “draw the line” between right and wrong. Even the sun itself will “be hers.”

This is why this is the second set of lines that gets “so wonderful” at the end. Now that she’s being so blatant with her desires, she needs to reassure you that it will still be wonderful.

\> Show me what you can become there's a dream in everyone

Similar to the previous line where she says “give ME your best,” she says “show ME what you can become.” When Miranda talks about you becoming the best version of yourself in this song, you are doing that for her.

\> And it's all real I'm telling you just how I feel

\> So wake up the members of my nation, it's your time to be

\> There's no chance unless you take one and the time to see

\> The brighter side of every situation, some things are meant to be

\> So give me your best and leave the rest to me

Repeat of the lines from before.

\> Leave it all to me (leave it all to me)

This is the TITLE of the song. This is Miranda’s main thesis. Leave it all to her. Let her be the one to make all the decisions. That’s how we get the world that becomes wonderful. That’s how we achieve our dreams. That’s the reality that we need to “wake up” to. Phrased in the imperative, as a command.

\> So make it right (make it alright) and see it through (you got to)

Now that we are coming to the end of the song we get a few more calls to action, which is the whole purpose of the song to begin with (to motivate you to do things). The idea of “making things right” is relatively politically charged, and Miranda reminds you that if you start questioning what you’re doing, you should see it through to the end (backed up with, “you got to”).

\> You know won't be free until you

Very politically charged language here. By surrendering your will to Miranda, leaving everything to her, and buying into her “wonderful” world, you will become free. Not only that, this is the ONLY way for you to become free.

\> Wake up the members of my nation, it's your time to be

\> There's no chance unless you take one and the time to see

\> The brighter side of every situation, some things are meant to be

\> So give me your best and leave the rest to me

\> Leave it all to me, (leave it all to me), leave it all to me, just leave it all to me

Once again reiterating these lines.

So here’s our song: Wake up to the truth. This is simply meant to be, this is what’s right. If you have any reservations, Miranda will make you change your mind. These things happen all the time. This is all real, she’s not lying to you. When the world changes for her, when her hand is the one that draws the line, when she owns even the sun itself, that’s when everything will be wonderful. You already know it, you already see it, it’s the only way for you to be truly free. In order to really achieve your dreams, you have to give your best to Miranda, show her what you can become. You have to leave it all to her.

From r/FanTheory

Give me upbotes

Dear Ukrainians!

I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that polish border is closed.

It's a lie.

If you seek asylum - go towards polish border. We are ready for your arrival. We have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, medical and legal aid.

Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: ua.gov.pl

Please share this information if you know anyone seeking help right now.

YOU DON'T NEED VISA TO PASS THROUGH POLISH BORDER. ALL YOU NEED IS PASSPORT. VISAS ARE SUSPENDED! YOU DON'T NEED THEM FOR TIME BEING!!!!!!

Proof that you no longer need visa:

• ⁠in Ukrainian https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua • ⁠in English https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en

This is a copy and paste and I encourage you all to do it too where appropriate!

What do you mean my Epic Ukraine WWIII Putin meme is offensive? Yeah like okay I live in Washington State and am not affected by this conflict at all beyond slightly increased gas prices but some people use humor to cope man. I'm just trying to make people laugh by making jokes at the expense of innocent civilians who just got bombed. Like come on what do you mean I "lack empathy" I changed my twitter banner to the Ukraine flag. Those innocent people are so selfish smh, stealing all of the attention. I mean, who is going to think about me when all people can think about is the thousands of families being forcefully split up right now so the father can stay back fight for Ukraine? I deserve that attention. Over a hundred people died in a single day but I need to make this about me. How else am I going to get reddit gold?

Obviously a throwaway for reasons you will soon understand...

I had written a number of erotic stories on my original account which caught the attention of a number of redditors, and began being asked to write some stories on request. I have done this for a few years now and don't get paid for it, I just enjoy writing and enjoy hearing the kinky side of what people are into. Its spread mostly by word of mouth through comments and such but have a good following of mostly woman that ask me to write specific scenes and stories for them. No big deal everyone is happy and a win win I figure.

Here is where the fuck up starts long before today...

I like to get a feeling for who I am writing for, and we both the writer and person commissioning my work mutually benefited from the collaboration, and so in the process got in the habit of receiving pictures from those I am writing for. Some as just innocent pics of them, and some very not innocent pics. Its fun to see who I am writing for and it allows me to add details into the story about the person to make it much more personal. And, I like to at times use them in a cover shot for the short story. Not much of a fuck up so far, but oh how that changes.

Background:

I am married and do this more as a fun killing time side project. My wife knows I like to write and has enjoyed some of my work, but mostly leaves me do my thing knowing it keeps me busy. My sister-in-law had recently divorced (again) and ended up living with us for the past 3 years. Yes, three years, that's for another story, but I am supportive. She is a pastor at her church and "trying" to get back on her feet and find a place.

What should have been like any other story request:

I receive a request form a redditor asking me if I could write a BDSM story for them. Nothing out of the ordinary and rather tame compared to some, so I engage and ask questions, they provide details and direction they would like it to go and off I go beginning my process. Simple story about her brother-in-law being seduced into fulfilling her need to be punished and fulfilled in many rough and degrading ways.

Today's Realization of the Fuck Up:

So today she sent me pictures, and not of the innocent type! I nearly spit out the water I was drinking, and swore loud enough for my wife to ask from the other room if everything was all right. So it turns out that it was my sister-in-law having me write about myself.

So yeah, at this point I haven't decided what I am going to do. Delete my account? Finish the story like nothing ever happened? Tape it up on the fridge like a school project? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯

TL;DR I write erotic fiction by request, worked on a story for a woman about her brother-in-law using her and found out it was my sister-in-law when she sent me pictures.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE CLASH ROYALE KING! HES SO SEXY ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HEHEHEHEHA I JUST WANT HIM TO GO TO MY HOUSE AND HEHEHEHAHA 😈😈😈😈 ME IN BED 😔😪🤩🤐😔💀 HES THE REASON WHY I LOVE CLASH ROYALE AND PLAY IT 24/7 WHY CANT IT BE CALLED CLASH GAYANAL. THE CLASH ROYALE KING IS THE REASON WHY IM STILL ALIVE AND WELL PLEASE CLASH ROYALE KING GO HEHEHEHAHA MOTHER RUSSIA 🥵🥵🥵🥵 AND HEHEHEHA 🤥😮‍💨😔😧😔 ME PLS NO BAN ON CLASH ROYALE KING I CANT LIVE WITHOUT CLASH ROYALE KING!1!1!1!!1!1

I’m the Globglogabgalab, I love books
And this basement is a true treasure trove

I am the Glob-glo-gab-galab
The shwabble-dabble-wabble-gabble flibba blabba blab
I’m full of shwibbly liber-kind
I am the yeast of thoughts and minds

Shwabble dabble glibble glabble schribble shwap glab
Dibble dabble shribble shrabble glibbi-glap shwap
Shwabble dabble glibble glabble shwibble shwap-dap
Dibble dabble shribble shrabble glibbi-shwap glab

Ooh, ha ha ha, mmm, splendid
Simply delicious
Ohm, ha ha ha ha

I am the Glob-glo-gab-galab
The shwabble-dabble-wabble-gabble flibba blabba blab
I’m full of shwibbly liber-kind
I am the yeast of thoughts and minds
schribble shwap glab
Dibble dabble shribble shrabble glibbi-glap shwap
Shwabble dabble glibble glabble shwibble shwap-dap
Dibble dabble shribble shrabble glibbi-shwap glab

Ah

Zico 🥩 or Rylan :] ??? + 15 blk trans tme not het/nblm
09/06 virgo intj-t adhd mdd bpd ——— #REALnigga . . .
🇻🇮‧₊˚✧🎧 byf i reclaim my slurs. read my pronouns carrd (linked on plus sign). tw misgendering. cw youngmin (dui related) & mixnine. I solo stan don’t ask why. I talk abt my ults (mostly r1se). use tone indicators (don’t overuse). no breathing gifs!! if you follow interact first. I only anti people in my dnfi section + beast/highlight (minus hyunseung and yoseob).
🫂‧₊˚✧🥽 dnfi basic dni. on mcyttwt. btspopper/hybe stan. tnt gatekeeper. exclus. radinclus. self harm, gore or ed acc. you defend ca. anti mspec labels. call black people gringx. non black teume or engene. stan kwj, seungri, lucas, mmm, aoa, omg, sanE, wyf, hanji, wyb, nex7 ot7, r1se, ini, or into1 ot11, k, and/or zico. you’re racially white (pay me reparations). use he/him on chihiro. white wonderland (especially doyum biased)
music ult groups: ciipher, cix, wei, d1ce, stayc, mxm, jbj, jbj95, r1se ot9, next ot5, tempest ult biases: chengxiao, doyum, keita, kenta, wonjin, woodz, yeongue, yoseob, youngmin, xikan, zhennan semis: ab6ix, billlie, dbsk ot4, drippin, enhypen, fromis, just b, loona, myteen, nct, onlyoneof, p1harmony, tfboys, unine, uniq ot4, up10tion ot9, wanna one

🚨ALERT ALERT🚨 World War III ☣️ is CUMMING! 💦💦 Daddy 💪🏻 Putin & his troops 🪖🎖PENETRATED🍆💦 Ukraine 😩😩 at the eastern B-WHORE-der 😂 in an act of 🤪SEXUAL AGGRESSION😈😈 The UniTIT 🇺🇳nations ☮️ has impHOEsed ✅eCUMnomic 💰sanctions to CHOKE 😵😵Putin & make him 🇷🇺🪆PULL OUT🕳🕳early! 🪖🪖 A MILFitary draft 🎫🎫 could mean 😱 the loss 😭 of all HUNG 👅 🇺🇸daddies🥺🥺….so get down ⬇️ on those 🧎🏽‍♀️knees🧎🏽‍♀️and SaLUTe🖖 dat dick 🌽🌽til your man 😩SHOOTS😩 his 💦WHITE RUSSIAN💦 all over you‼️ Send this to 🔟 Soviet 🇷🇺Sucking 👅😝😝SLUTS to get 🗼Eiffel 🗼Towered 🤸🏼‍♀️ by PUTIN 👴🏻AND DADDY JOE👨🏻‍🦳 for 6️⃣9️⃣ more years😂😂😂😂

The thing I really like about Planes is that we learn that WWII happened in the Cars universe. Which means there was a Cars Hitler, a Cars holocaust, a Cars Pacific War, a Cars D-Day, a Cars nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a Cars Rape of Nanking, a Cars Battle of Iwo Jima...

This leads to so many important questions, like: were the Cars Little Boy and Fat Man nukes sentient? Was it a suicide mission? Are ALL Cars nuclear weapons sentient? Did Tsar Bomba have a personality? What kind of car was Car Hitler? A VW? A forklift?

Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized? I could go on

Edit: I just realized a Cars 9/11 gives a whole new layer of meaning to the phrase "let's roll"

13 Ukrainian border guards are dead and will be given the nation's highest honor of (Hero of the state of Ukraine) after refusing to surrender to a Russian costal patrol ship and guided missle cruiser at Snake Island (Ukrainian: Острів Зміїний, romanized: Ostriv Zmiinyi) there last line goes and I quote

*Russia warships*
"This is Russian warship, I repeat. I suggest you surrender your weapons and capitulate. Otherwise I will open fire. Do you copy?"

*Ukraine border guard*
"This is it... should I tell him to go fuck himself."

*Female Ukrainian border guard*
"Just in case."

*Ukraine border guard turns up the radio volume*

Ukrainian border guard
"Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

These were their last words before death.

🇺🇦 long live Ukraine

I have a story to tell.

The Ukraine has very few fighter jets compared to the Russians, and they are very, very old. One pilot from the Ukraine flies a MiG and has made a name for himself in the war against the Russians.
This story is about that pilot and how he became "The Ghost of Kiev".
His first dogfight with the Russians was against an Su-25 fighter jet.
He downed the jet without taking a hit.His second dogfight went the same as the first.
His third dogfight differed only that his enemy was flying the newer Su-27.
His fourth dogfight was against a Russian MiG-29M, which is 28 years newer with technology from the new millenium, and he still downed it without taking a hit.
His fifth and sixth dogfights also went the same as the first.
After his fifth victory, he became the first Ace Pilot the world has seen for 23 years.
Inexplicably, none of the Russians ejected and the parachutes never deployed, so there have been no survivors.
That is why they call him "The Ghost of Kiev".Some say you can still hear the roar of his engines above the city even today. Others say they see a MiG flying over Kiev and in it a legendary Ace Pilot, "The Ghost of Kiev".

The End. (Translated by Bing)

Dear Ukrainians!

I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that polish border is closed.

It's a lie.

If you seek asylum - go towards polish border. We are ready for your arrival. We have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, medical and legal aid.

Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: ua.gov.pl

Please share this information if you know anyone seeking help right now.

EDIT: YOU DON'T NEED VISA TO PASS THROUGH POLISH BORDER. ALL YOU NEED IS PASSPORT. VISAS ARE SUSPENDED! YOU DON'T NEED THEM FOR TIME BEING!!!!!!

EDIT2: as a proof that you no longer need visa:

• ⁠in Ukrainian https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua • ⁠in English https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en