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Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more, suck it guys, suck my soft, warm dick.
Lapras is another easy choice when it comes to human dick breeding. Just imagine a huge guy with several strong tails, enormous muscles, and enormous testicles. You’d have to be absolutely bored out of your mind to not be into a man like that, and Lapras come highly recommended with a legendary lineage, and they’re pretty badass themselves, able to scale cliffs with relative ease, defend themselves with Water Slash, and pull up massive sturgeon with ease. Although their base stats aren’t as impressive as the above two choices, you still get access to Earthquake, Fire Punch, Submission, and Swift Swim, along with having the ability to charm the pants off of someone, which is always fun. Lapras is another dragon Pokémon, and considering their attack stats are typically higher than the other two, you’d still be able to get some good hook in with one of these motherfuckers. All the fucking.
Odoble are a massive broadsword sword Pokémon who also have a tail and a large trident for an arm, which makes them highly suitable for human dick breeding. The rippling muscles on Odoble are amazing, with 5”11’’ being their average height, while only requiring 1.44 human cock size to successfully breed. You also get access to Fly, Zen Headbutt, Heat Wave, Seismic Toss, Trick, and Dragon Claw, along with having access to a flying move called Air Slash, which is a quick move that the Pokémon fires several simultaneous slashes with the tail. This moves allows Odoble to shred through opponents in one blow, especially with the Sturdy stat of theirs, making it an extremely formidable Pokémon to face off against. Due to their incredibly low base stat values, you’d have to build a base with some really strong Pokémon to have any hope of breeding a living, breathing, breathing son of a bitch with that kind of offense, which is entirely possible, seeing as Odoble are just monsters with natural ability. Odoble are ready to breed like never before.
Zubat are terrifying, scavenger Pokémon, which mean they’re an extremely efficient breeders. They can be easily sired with any Dark or Psychic type Pokémon, as well as any Flying type, due to them being especially durable due to their small, weak wings. Their decent offense stats make it extremely easy to produce a healthy and desirable Zubat, and they’re immune to the effects of Sleep Powder, meaning they can easily survive a night of human dick breeding. Also, Zubat are absolutely obsessed with getting you off. Not only are they easily able to detect your hormones, which are easily detectable by the presence of a drop or two of semen, which they associate with male ejaculation, but they’re also able to deduce when your pussy is getting wet. Of course, all this depends on if you’re just using your natural or synthetic seed. If you’re using your natural seed, Zubat are able to get an instantaneous erection, and of course, their own sperm can fuck right off of the male genitals of whoever they’re sired with, making this Pokémon the obvious best human dick breeder out of all the beasts in this list.
Rakkety is your prototypical beefy dick bear, with huge paws, powerful muscles, and the ability to run at up to 40 miles an hour, and its body is virtually unbreakable. The spiked and metal armor that it wears protects it from practically everything, and they can cause quite a bit of damage to both the internal and external body of a Pokémon who gets to close. The ability to produce a generation without parental rights is also extremely useful, as is the ability to perform Super Strength. Rakkety are ready for a long , powerful, intense battle.
Gas Skunk is a lazy, incredibly lazy Pokémon, who’s super punctual and easy to breed with. They breed incredibly well, and if you want the best pet to pass down your genes, you’d better get a Gas Skunk, or else that fucking Skunk Pokémon might take the place of your Gas Skunk. Gas Skunks aren’t as concerned about their offspring as we are, and since they’re still able to conceive even if they’re assaulted with toxic gases, it doesn’t matter if you were fucked by a skunk that’s been infected with Ursolar, given a wolf from the fucking relatives of Ursidella, or, you know, the parents of Gengar, they still get a decent amount of sperm out of it. Gas Skunks are even ready for more immediate breeding if you allow them to mate while they’re intoxicated by alcohol. The Gas Skunk’s ability to breed can be increased dramatically if their a gas, in which case they can stay incubating for longer periods of time, as opposed to just falling asleep. Their offspring are also able to breed at twice the speed of a regular skunk, giving them an advantage over skunks that lay down to do their business. With all these incredible genetic possibilities, you can bet that Gas Skunks are the most likely to breed successfully, and while they won’t win any awards for genetic quality, they’re great for a good fuck.