Credit to [u/wizard680](https://www.reddit.com/u/wizard680/)

before I get started I would like to remind you all to SMASH that like button and COMMENT for a chance win this 50 dollar gift card. Yes FIFTY DOLLARS YOU could win by liking the video and commenting. A winner is chosen every 24 hours so don't miss out.

\-----ad break------

Now for today's sponsor, raid shadow legends. Road shadow Legends, one of the biggest mobile role-playing games of 2022 and it is totally free! currently almost 10 million users have joined raid over the last 6 months, and it is one of the most impressive games in its class with detailed model, environments and smooth 60 frames per second animations! all the champions in the game can be customized with unique gear that changes your strategic buffe and abilities! the dungeon bosses have some ridiculous skills of their own and figuring out the perfect party and strategy to overtake them is a lot of fun! currently with over 300,000 reviews, raif has almost a perfect score on the play store! the community is growing fast and the highly anticipated new faction wars feature is now LIVE! You might even find my squad out there in the arena! it is easier to start now than ever before with rates program for new players you get a new daily login reward for the first 90 days that you play in the game! so what are you waiting for? go to the video description, click on the special link and you will get 50 THOUSAND silver and a free epic champion as part of the new player program to start your journey! good luck and I'll see you there! Now back to the video...

\----- AD break ------

Before I start the video, I now that only 4% of my viewers are actually subscribed. This pains me to see that 96% of my viewers are not subscribed. So please hit subscribed so that you do not miss any more of my videos. We are soooo close to hitting the subscriber goal so please subscribed now

Also, did I forget that if you subscribe, you automatically get entered into a raffle to WIN a 50 dollar fortnite giftcard? You can also DOUBLE your chances of winning by hitting that like button and commenting "I love [u/wizard680](https://www.reddit.com/u/wizard680/) and I want to make babies with him" or somthing along those lines.

Also, Did I forget that you can join my Patreon? joining my Pagreon gives you LOADS of PERKS! By signing up now to my Patreon, you get exclusive rewards like watching my videos TWO DAYS before they officially release. You also get BEHIND the scenes look at how I operate my YouTube channel. But not only that, by being my Patreon you get access to my EXCLUSIVE discord server where you can TALK to me!

Also, being my Patreon means you get entered into a monthly 50 dollar fortnite giftcard giveaway. So join now!

Also, dont forget to click my socials in the right hand corner. Following me on twitter, Tiktok, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Reddit Tumblr, LinkedIn, Pinetrest and MyAncestry for EXCLUSOVE REWARDS and to stay UP TO DATE on my daily uploads!

also, follow my subreddit on reddit, where you can see MY own post and get a chance to be in my reddit youtube videos in the future

\---- ad break-----

Before I start today's video, I have to mention my new crytocoin, Wizcoin. Wizcoin is a new cojn that is BLOWING UP right now! it is SAFE and SECURE! want to make money *ching ching noise* now? then come on and buy WIZcoin today! If you use the code WIZARD, you can get ONE HUNDRED free wizcoins!

Also, fell free to join the youtube membership! becoming a member on youtube means you get exclusive rewards! you'll get EVERY comment you make hearted by me! you also get exclusive rewards!

Oh, you also get entered into a FIFTY DOLLAR fortnite giftcard giveaway! dont miss out...

Anyways, back to the video....

\----- double ad break -----

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9s72s

Hello, hello hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced." Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay. So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9ri9i

before I get started I would like to remind you all to SMASH that like button and COMMENT for a chance win this 50 dollar gift card. Yes FIFTY DOLLARS YOU could win by liking the video and commenting. A winner is chosen every 24 hours so don't miss out.

-----ad break------

Now for today's sponsor, raid shadow legends. Road shadow Legends, one of the biggest mobile role-playing games of 2022 and it is totally free! currently almost 10 million users have joined raid over the last 6 months, and it is one of the most impressive games in its class with detailed model, environments and smooth 60 frames per second animations! all the champions in the game can be customized with unique gear that changes your strategic buffe and abilities! the dungeon bosses have some ridiculous skills of their own and figuring out the perfect party and strategy to overtake them is a lot of fun! currently with over 300,000 reviews, raif has almost a perfect score on the play store! the community is growing fast and the highly anticipated new faction wars feature is now LIVE! You might even find my squad out there in the arena! it is easier to start now than ever before with rates program for new players you get a new daily login reward for the first 90 days that you play in the game! so what are you waiting for? go to the video description, click on the special link and you will get 50 THOUSAND silver and a free epic champion as part of the new player program to start your journey! good luck and I'll see you there! Now back to the video...

----- AD break ------

Before I start the video, I now that only 4% of my viewers are actually subscribed. This pains me to see that 96% of my viewers are not subscribed. So please hit subscribed so that you do not miss any more of my videos. We are soooo close to hitting the subscriber goal so please subscribed now

Also, did I forget that if you subscribe, you automatically get entered into a raffle to WIN a 50 dollar fortnite giftcard? You can also DOUBLE your chances of winning by hitting that like button and commenting "I love u/wizard680 and I want to make babies with him" or somthing along those lines.

Also, Did I forget that you can join my Patreon? joining my Pagreon gives you LOADS of PERKS! By signing up now to my Patreon, you get exclusive rewards like watching my videos TWO DAYS before they officially release. You also get BEHIND the scenes look at how I operate my YouTube channel. But not only that, by being my Patreon you get access to my EXCLUSIVE discord server where you can TALK to me!

Also, being my Patreon means you get entered into a monthly 50 dollar fortnite giftcard giveaway. So join now!

Also, dont forget to click my socials in the right hand corner. Following me on twitter, Tiktok, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Reddit Tumblr, LinkedIn, Pinetrest and MyAncestry for EXCLUSOVE REWARDS and to stay UP TO DATE on my daily uploads!

also, follow my subreddit on reddit, where you can see MY own post and get a chance to be in my reddit youtube videos in the future


---- ad break-----

Before I start today's video, I have to mention my new crytocoin, Wizcoin. Wizcoin is a new cojn that is BLOWING UP right now! it is SAFE and SECURE! want to make money *ching ching noise* now? then come on and buy WIZcoin today! If you use the code WIZARD, you can get ONE HUNDRED free wizcoins!

Also, fell free to join the youtube membership! becoming a member on youtube means you get exclusive rewards! you'll get EVERY comment you make hearted by me! you also get exclusive rewards!

Oh, you also get entered into a FIFTY DOLLAR fortnite giftcard giveaway! dont miss out...

Anyways, back to the video....

----- double ad break -----

EDIT: yes I wrote most of this myself just now (not the raid shadow legends). Yes I'm above the age of 18. Yes I have adult responsibilities. Yes I am procrastinating.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9qlkd

Title says it. Why is "?" so goddamn curvy. Makes me hard just by looking at that curvy top. And don’t even get me going on that little finishing curve near the bottom. I practice the sex very often, but I’d still like to take that sexy curvy sloppy baddie and ride it until the sunset emerges from behind the mountains of our love. I want to fuck it so much. I bet it’s such a baddie. I have a lot of sex, I’ve seen a lot of women in my life, but nothing compares to that symbol. I can’t sleep at night. My multiple girlfriends left me because I can’t stop masturbating to "?". I want to have the sex with it and it will feel so good omg

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9osqw

Do you have a source on that?

Source?

A source. I need a source.

Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.

No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.

You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.

Do you have a degree in that field?

A college degree? In that field?

Then your arguments are invalid.

No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.

Correlation does not equal causation.

CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.

You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.

Nope, still haven't.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9n7kc

Imagine waiting nine months to give birth to a child you dearly love, watching them grow up slowly and flourishing in their evironmemt, seeing them experience new things and enjoying them thoroughly, and being happy. However, there comes a time where adulthood takes its place in life, and they have to adapt so that they can continue with their life, so that they can get a job, a house, a partner, a family, and maybe even true happiness.

Sometimes though, this transition fails to come to fruition, and a person become unhappy and spiteful in their own insufficiency. As a result, they make a reddit account to escape the chaos in their life.

They click on [r/GenZedong](https://www.reddit.com/r/GenZedong/) for the first time. Their life changes for the worst. They become so engrossed in hate and anger, all while having the maturity of a toddler. They see an action performed by an American which may seem negative to their glorious adoptive motherland of China. They kneel down towards their keyboard, with all three hundred pounds of their weight, and type one word. "AmeriKKKa".

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9mc3d

Ohhh little child ohhhhh mmmm fuck the children cunny ohhh mmm yeah like that cunny just cum on the children ohhh cum in them yeah make them cum with your cum while you cum ah fuck ooh little girl ooooh little girl little girl little girl 👧 😜 😉 😘 😍 hahaha wtf my phone literally suggest me those emojis one after the other i think my phone is lolicon! Based sus lolicon phone oooh phone cunny oooohh 😭 child phone cunny ooohhh naughty phone i cum on my phone oooh cum phone mmm

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9jssv

Keep eating daddy's shits, my fucking puppy, centro. You can even not be treated as a human being. Because you fucking don't know how to respect people, just like a domestic animal. Shame on you. Cunt is a perfect word for you, Don't ask about details. The happy bonus time is always limited. When your puppy eats shits, you need to train it a little bit. Don't worry, won't abandon it, I'm an exotic pet enthusiast.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9j8f9

It's been 1 minute without Roblox, I can’t stop shaking and I’m having severe mental breakdowns. I woke up today trying to log onto Roblox but the site was down, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few seconds. I can't go to school today, I am so worried that I even took my dad's gun from the shed, thinking of not eating. I am nothing without Roblox.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9hi82

It's not a mistake it's a ✨masterpiece✨

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9fwxf

*pushes up glasses* it says here that according to r6tracker you had a 0.99 seasonal K/D ratio 7 seasons ago and your final rank was only *snort* gold 3 *chortle maniacally* which, by my estimations, are both lower than my 1.01 seasonal K/D ratio and my final rank of gold 1! Get destroyed losser. And nothing personnel, kid. *puts on fedora and walks away*.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9fgzq

I have a huge kink for a woman just completely treating me like trash. One day, on my main account, I stumbled onto fds. I started looking at the posts most critical and with the meanest language (pathetic, loser etc) and I became very aroused at the thought of these girls talking to me like that.

So yeah, it kinda gives me satisfaction that it’ll probably make them mad that their posts to put men down are giving a man pleasure.

Edit: well damn didn’t expect this to blow up like this. Thanks for all the comments and DMs, both mean and nice are appreciated!

Update: they actually posted this on their subreddit and some of the comments are calling me trash and being mean to me, did not expect that but thank you whoever posted and commented

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9ekfh

So I was at school I went into the vape room at the beginning of 3rd period and I smell this horrid smell. I looked at all the stalls and saw some shoes under one door with the pants all the way down. MOTHER FUCKER. DON’T SHIT IN THE VAPE ROOM, it’s disrespectful no one wants to smell those chemicals and gasses erupting from your asshole, violating burning our noses. Be mindful think of the human. I can’t even rip my cart or post videos of me hitting my bang like a blunt on Snapchat without smelling shit. It’s pretty simple don’t shit in the white chairs in the vape room. The stalls are for fucking your homies in and for solo cart sessions. I am beyond disgusted and I will tell the principal or call the cops next time I have this disturbance of peace and degradation of my vape room.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9bpjz

\>.< hewwoooo!!! I am a gecko tehee uwu OwO..... I-i-i-i kinda like u >.< *wags my cute little tail* oWo i wanna see ur throbbing meat scepter >\_< >.< *wags tail faster*. Y-y-you don't like me? >.< *grabs ur cock anyways cuz i want it so badly* UwU ill make it quick i swear. *starts stroking ur fat dick* OwO *starts sucking it* i love the way ur cock tastes u cutie >.< strokes ur dick faster and makes u cum all over my lizard face >.< UwU your cum tastes so salty *giggles and gets back on ur dick*

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9bz8t

I was a participant in a drinking study while I was in university. I was in "Group A" according to the researcher. I was basically told to "drink as much as I could" for the next two weeks and check in with them every other night for follow ups. They'd also reimburse me for whatever booze I bought.

They had to stop the experiment after three days because a few people had already been hospitalized with alcohol poisoning. I didn't find out about this, so when I finally convinced a buddy of mine who had a car to take me over to the bottle king and we bought two grand worth of booze, I ended up not getting reimbursed for any of it.

We tried to sell the booze to other students but someone just ended up robbing us and made me and my friend kiss each other while we were held at knifepoint. It wasn't bad, we tried it again a few nights later.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s9aq36

I don't want to be rude or anything but why do people do art with computers, it's not true art and you can't be a true artist by using computers like real art is made by hand, sorry if this bothers you I mean I don't have anything against it but it does make more sense but through computers it looks more real and it's not that hard compared to hand made art.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s98zl4

Mars Wrigley is trying to make the green M&M wear Larry David sneakers and we will not stand for it.



The recent push to rebrand corporate logos to be more inclusive has, for the most part, been a good thing. Making Barbie more body-positive? Great. Renaming Aunt Jemima syrup? About damn time. Yet in brands’ fervent quest to capture youth audiences and capture the woke zeitgeist, they may be going just a little bit too far. Case in point: the slut-shaming of the green M&M. Essentially, this is what happened: the CEO of Mars Wrigley, the company that makes M&Ms, announced today that it would be revamping the characters to make them more “current” and “representative of our consumer” (presumably, people united by their willingness to ignore the fact that they’re eating shittier Reese’s Pieces). How do they plan on doing this, you ask? By replacing the characters’ footwear.


This distinction is pretty negligible for the male characters (CNN goes into detail about the changes, but frankly they are men, and thus I don’t really care). For the female characters, however, the changes are apparent and formidable. The brown M&M’s heels have been lowered to a more sensible Alexis Neiers-esque kitten heel, while the green M&M’s signature go-go boots have been swapped out for non-descript white sneakers, the kind that Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl changes into at her desk to signal she’s a Girlboss with a head for business and a bod for sin. Let the river run, ladies! (Mars Wrigley did not immediately return a request for comment.) For those familiar with the iconography of the green M&M, this change is nothing more than tectonic. I imagine it is similar to how the people of Wittenberg must have felt watching Martin Luther nail his 95 Theses of the Protestant Reformation to the church door. But it is also a major error on Mars Wrigley’s part, because the green M&M being a dirty slut, as signified by her iconic white go-go boots, is precisely what has engendered her a devoted fan base, particularly among similarly libidinous women and gay men who have embraced the character. Consider, for instance, this ad where she does erotic ASMR for no reason other than to give the male M&Ms a massive boner, then feigns ignorance at the impact her performance has. Can we, or should we, attempt to put a cap on such virulent, untrammeled female sexuality? Can you stop the wind from blowing? Can you prevent a dog from vomiting after eating too much cheese? Can you keep Twitter libs from being self-righteous about adhering to COVID protocols? No, you cannot.


The green M&M has spent decades building her brand as a horny, sexy bitch, and for what? For her creators to give her Larry David footwear in the name of feminism? For Mars Wrigley to give themselves pats on the back and big fat fucking raises at the next corporate retreat in Palo Alto? Guess what: the green M&M is a feminist, *and* she’s a dirty slut. We are real, and we exist, and we refuse to tolerate this disgusting attempt at erasure. We are given so little, and we have tolerated so much. Let the green M&M keep her go-go boots. Let her get blackout and suck dick in the bathroom at Acme on a Wednesday. This is what we want. This is what we deserve. This is what *she* deserves*.* 

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s93e0s

The year is 2052. You've just got home from work. You walk into your Microsoft ™️ smart home. "Welcome home daddy" the home says. "Shall I prepare the usual?" The wife is on a work trip to Spain, your son is spending the night at his friend's house. This is a rare time where you will have the house all to yourself. "No" you reply "I think tonight I'll treat myself to something special, prepare the pod."

In the next room a dust covered device powers on. Blinking RGB led lighting plays across the surface of the device in intricate patterns. Your Sony ™️ Kawaii Masturbation Pod begins the boot up sequence. Inside of the pod the mouth shaped penis pump starts to secrete jelly flavored lube, the Jiggly Boob and Phat Ass peripheral devices begin to heat themselves to a comfortable temperature of 37 degrees Celsius.

You take your time removing your jacket in the foyer. You slowly walk into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of scotch from the decanter. Neat of course.

You spend some time catching up with the news while you stand in your kitchen drinking your scotch. You make idle conversation with the smart home, as if the stupid AI could understand the nuances of intellectual conversation. 'Oh well, better than talking to myself' you think with a chuckle.

"I'm glad little Timmy finally found himself a friend that he can spend time with" you say. "Yes" the smart home responds. "Now that he's twenty it is about time he gets his life started! What a wonderful first step he has made. Maybe soon he will get a job and move out of our basement." "Unlikely" the machine replies. "I can only hope" you say while staring into the distance.

"Boot up complete, what selection will we be viewing today, sir?" "Hmm, I'm in the mood for something classic. Prepare me a compilation of ahageo girls riding 18 inch dildos." "As you wish, sir."

You make your way into your study and look lovingly at the sleek black pod lying in the corner of the dimly lit room. You walk toward the machine and reach for the VR headset, but it is missing. Gone from the hook you installed on the wall to hold it. 'That's odd' you think. 'I must have left it inside the machine when I last used it.'

That's when you notice a faint wet slapping noise coming from the inside of the pod. Your blood runs cold, you're supposed to be home alone.

You reach forward, hands shaking, and slowly pry open the pod's circular lid. As soon as the rubber seal around the lid is broken you are assaulted by the stench of cottage cheese. The grotesque sound grows louder now being joined by the sound of wet slobbering moans.

Inside the pod you have just opened lies your son, completely nude, covered completely head-to-toe in wretched sweat.

"What the hell!" You scream and wrench the headset from his head. Your son looks at you with wide eyes. "W-wait I-I can explain" he says. You wait for him to explain, he begins to cry instead. That's when you look down into the headset. On the screen a woman is gently kissing the head of a horse's penis. You gag. That is when you realize that there is a slumped form in the corner of the room. You walk over to it and pick up a six foot tall suit of a green fox with neon blue hair.

You begin to cry as well. How could I let this happen to my son?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8wel4

Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

&#x200B;

TL;DR I hate shitting

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s96t8v

They’re fucking social constructs made up so that bathroom companies could get away with making 2 separate bathrooms in buildings and getting the building owners to pay them more to build them. Wake up people

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s95epq