‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING CUMMYBOT2000?????????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 CUMMY IS THE BEST FUCKING BOT🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 CUMMY IS SO HOT 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 COME TO MY HOUSE CUMMY AND HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ME!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 YOU THINK FAKE CUMMY IS BETTER????????🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any CUM!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any CUM!❓ Where! ❓ Any CUM!❓ ❓ Any CUM! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any CUM!Where!Any CUM Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any CUM❓ ❓ Any CUM! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any CUM!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any CUM! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any CUM! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any CUM!❓ ❓ ❓ Any CUM!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any CUM!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I LOVE CUMMYS CUM👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀I LOVE CUMMY BOT 2000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 [r/sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/) [r/sounding](https://www.reddit.com/r/sounding/) [r/copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/) perfectly balanced as all things should be [r/unexpectedthanos](https://www.reddit.com/r/unexpectedthanos/) [r/expectedthanos](https://www.reddit.com/r/expectedthanos/) for balance

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s94r0l

I (14m) secretly ejaculated inside a chicken (3c) that my mom (69f) was planning to cook for dinner. I (14m) was feeling extremely horny at the time and so I nutted around 24 times inside the chicken (3c). By the end of the session the cum was already starting to leak out of the chicken. I (14m) watched as my mom (69f) put the cum filled chicken in the oven. Sometime later the chicken exploded and my hour-old cum splattered in the oven. My mom (69f) then proceeded to beat me with a rolling pin, but then I pinned her down and stuck the rolling pin (8rp) in her ass. I then proceeded to shoot 15 more loads of cum inside her. My father (113m) saw this and called the cops (8m, 14f, 12f, 16m) on me. So reddit, AITA for cumming inside a chicken?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s93eyb

I am living in your walls. You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below: FAQ:

Why are you living in my walls?

I'm not going to tell you.

Are you only in my walls?

You could say I am living in everybody's walls, but in the case I am telling you that I am living in your walls, I am living in your walls.

How are you surviving in my walls?

In my non-physical form, I am crawling around listening for you. That is all I need to survive in that form. In my physical form, I survive by eating rat corpses that I cook using the wall behind your oven, and I drink the vapour in the extraction fan duct above your shower.

What are you planning to do in my walls? Live in them, listening to you.

What do I do about you living in my walls?

Listen for the scraping. Dont touch the walls. Protect yourself. Avoid lighting candles.

When are you going to stop living in my walls?

You cannot escape me.

Do I call the police?

The authorities will not help you.

What are the consequences of you living in my walls?

Be aware.

What if I am ok with you living in my walls?

I will make sure you’re not.

Are you imaginary

I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS

If there are any more questions then please consult your walls by directly speaking to them.

Summary: I am living in your walls.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s93437

I'm male I've had falls like that a few times. I just got up and carried on, it didn't mean anything to me. Anyone can slip so it's meaningless.

I've never understood why modern women are so scared of being exposed to natural failure.

My grandmother didn't care and even when she was older and slipped often she still had the same attitutude.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s90q7g

Hi guys, this is Don, I now go by Adriana. If u
are open to a fun CD, hit me up. Now let me
tell u just a tad about me. Ok, here we go! I
am from Florida, family was from Ohio, they
called is Ohia, always an A and never O at
the end, LoLLLLL, Youngstown and Toledo is
where my people were from, I am a Tampa
guy. Go Bucs! Coming to Ohio and want to
see snow for the 1st time, I live on the beach
for 40 years! I am Bi and single, and have a
stunning 5 year old daughter who wants to
model someday. I play guitar, mostly
flamenco style and love Spanish sounds,
love the African drums and was in a local
African drum group for a year, that ended
badly when they found out I hate blacks. I
am German and French and stand behind
Hitler, Trump is my only living hero/God. I
cant wait for God Trump to return in 2024! I
like boys and girls both, single and looking
for a new gothic guy for friends or more. I
wear goth style wigs and lingerie around the
house and can attach a new picture. I was a
nurse, then a teacher, then mowed yards and gardened, then a painter, then a boat builder,
then a bouncer, then an artist, then back into
nursing and now at a crossroads, my goal is
to be famous, got it! I want to be on stage,
producing, sing, guitar, anything really! I
want a new guy pal, I have a moby dick that
rarely stays put when I perform on stage in
lingerie. For 12 years I had a major cocaine
issue and it cost me my wife, she is now
dead from a drunk driver, died at 38. I have
been clean and sober, zero alcohol since
2016. If I do drink, its only a girly daiquiri
because I am quite girly, hehe. Can I hear
some of your stuff and send you my stuff, I
cant post on youtube and was banned from
posting nudity last year, I play guitar naked.
The photo you have on CL has me all hot,
WOWWWW!!!!! I can send you some stuff
just as HOT! Trust me! You can call me at
200 9404 or email me, I'm free to meet this
week and leaving FL on Thursday, flying A/A.
Maybe we can meet in person, jam out and
have a drink at the bar and bring the group, I
will have my daughter with me. Looking for
work soon and want to get famous, like
Justin Bieber famous, no joke! He is a cutie.
had a drug issue for over a decade, mostly
coke, some crack and a lot of booze, when coke, some crack and a lot of booze, when I
say a lot, in one month living in Key West, I
rented a hotel room and spent $32,500 on
liquor alone, no bullshit! It was so wild that I
honestly dont remember being in the Keys,
mom came and got me and moved me in
with her. She sent me ur link on CL and here I
am. Lets meet and do this soon. God bless
and god loves the animals, I am now vegan.

XOXO
adriana

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s90njt

Pro tip: run up to a random person on the street, scream “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT” and shoot yourself in the head with a 12 gauge shotgun

Stranger —> trolled

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8wnkb

I am an alpha male with a very big and thick cock. I have always enjoyed porn especially since tumblr. But when tumblr went bad i moved to reddit. I remember following a mexicanhotwife page in tumblr after she started cucking her husband she was turning him into a pussy free cuckold then to a sissy. I even followed his page but I was turned off by him posting so much sissy porn. So now I am on reddit and one of the pages i was following over the years is [r/gooned](https://www.reddit.com/r/gooned/) and it is a hot page. I would see some sissy stuff there but mostly ignore it. Then one day I realized I was actually getting hard from looking at sissies with floppy cocks and hot sissy asses. Eventually I even joined the sissy page and straighttosissy, sissy hypno etc.

I just realized this morning the majority of the porn I watch is sissy porn and I hate to admit this but I even watch [r/malemasterbation](https://www.reddit.com/r/malemasterbation/) videos and follow [r/thickdick](https://www.reddit.com/r/thickdick/) pages and even a page of [r/balls](https://www.reddit.com/r/balls/). I have started to really love looking at balls and wonder how they taste and smell. I am not attracted to men at all but love looking at cocks maybe even more than pussy now.

I even wonder what it might be like to tongue kiss a sissy just to see if I get hard.

Like i said I am not supposed to be a sissy but just looking at porn kind of opened me up to it i have even considered buying panties for me to see how I look in them. Does this make me a sissy?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8y233

Pro tip: run up to a random person on the street, scream “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT” and shoot yourself in the head with a 12 gauge shotgun

Stranger —> trolled

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8w9h5

make fun of my luiwigi clip one more fucking time and I'm gonna take a taxi all the way to new York break open your fucking door with a ram the swat use, than I'm gonna drop kick the shit out of your door until it breaks, grab you by the fucking head, German suplex you to the ground punch you in the fucking face until your face bleeds, break every single family portrait and valuable in sight then, im gonna rob all the shit in your home including your Nintendo switch, put it in my duffle bag and leave that applies to you as well @/kos im sure both of you wouldn't want that to happen now would you

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8vu98

A few years back, my friends and I were at a baseball game eating hotdogs and drinking beer. By the fifth inning, I was pretty intoxicated. So drunk in fact, I hadn’t noticed my buddy Jerry surreptitiously taking my hotdog out of its bun and slipping his bulbous penis into its place.

Of course, when I bit into it, not only was I on the jumbotron, but I was too inebriated to tell it was Jerry’s fat dick and kept gnawing on it like a goddamn chew toy while the entire stadium laughed.

Not a day goes by where I don’t get down on my knees and thank God for blessing me with the friends I have.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8ttrc

so basically i (16M) think i (16M) did a little oopsie to my (16M) friend (16M), as my (16M) friend (16M) and i (16M), had the duty to go touch some grass. we do this every 5 months. and coincidentally we went outside the same day at the same park, and after months of masturbating in our dark rooms (loli hentai) we couldnt reconize eachother at first, as we last saw eachother 8 years ago even tho we are neighbours, but we did reconize eachother by the voice, as we talk on discord commenting the porn (loli hentai) we watch together.
as my (16M) friend (16M) slowly approached to me (16M) (he`s severely obese) i pulled a metal rod for some sounding for gay sex time. but as i (16M) haven`t seen a person in 6 months i (16M) did not remember where the penis sounding hole was, so i just stick my metal rod in his eyes hoping to stimulate him sexually. but instead he (16M) starts to scream in agony and tells me (16M) to call an ambulance but i (16M) know sounding can be painful at first, so i contunue moving around my metal rod making him scream in eccitement (he was saying things like "call an ambulance" and "bring me to the hospital" but i couldnt stop the gay sex time there). after i while i notice some bleeding so i quickly get my 12049 page long sounding tips and tricks book and i go to page 5940 as i (16M) emembered that there was written what to do in case of bleeding and i decide to bring my friend to the hospital. as i (16M) arrive to the hospital i was greeted with "what the fuck" and "its code red". they tell me to wait outside and that they would have to do some surgery.

i am writing this as i wait outside of the hospital and so reddit: am i the idiot for stabbing my (16M) friend (16M) eye?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8dy00

WHY YOU WANT RAIL FOR KALASHNIKOV? IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH AS PROCURED
FROM IZHEVSK MECHANICAL WORKS? YOU THINK NEEDS IMPROVEMENT? THEN
MAYBE YOU FIND JOB WITH ARMY OF RUSSIA! YOU HAVE DRINKS WITH MIKHAIL
KALASHNIKOV, TRADE STORY OF MANY WEAPONS DESIGNED AND DETAILS OF
SCHOOL FOR ENGINEERING!
OR MAYBE YOU DO NOT DO THIS PROBABLY IS BECAUSE YOU NEVER DESIGN
WEAPON IN WHOLE LIFE. YOU LOOK AT FINE RUSSIAN RIFLE. THINK IT NEED
CRAZY SHIT STICK ON ALL SIDES OF WEAPON. YOU HAVE DISEASE OF AMERICAN
CAPITALIST, CHANGE THING THAT IS FINE FOR NO REASON EXCEPT TO LOOK
DIFFERENT FROM COMRADE. YOU PUT CHEAP FLASHLIGHT OF CHINESE SLAVE
FACTORY ON ONE SIDE YOU PUT BAD SCOPE OF AMERICAN MIDDLE WEST ON
OTHER SIDE, YOU PUT FRONT PISTOL GRIP ON BOTTOM SO YOU THINK YOU ARE
LIKE AMERICAN MOVIE GUY JOHN RAMBO. MAYBE YOU PUT SEX DILDO ON TOP
TO FUCK YOURSELF IN ASSHOLE FOR MAKING SHAMEFUL TRAVESTY OF RIFLE
OF MIKHAIL KALASHNIKOV. NO?
RIFLE IS FINE. YOU FUCK IT, IT ONLY GET HEAVY AND STILL NO HIT LARGEST
SIDE OF BARN GO TO FIRING RANGE PRACTICE WITH MANY MAGAZINE OF
CARTRIDGE. THEN YOU NOT NEED DUMB SHIT PUT ON SIDE OF RIFLE.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8r5he

I'm not joking. Batman is a furry and people only don't think of him as such because he's cool. Try reading this and not think about the established character as you go along.

He dresses up in an animal costume. Bases his identity on the "animal persona" he dresses up as. Constantly hangs out with other animal dressing buddies, sometimes kisses, f*ks them in costume, often outside in public. Uses his animal persona time as a form of escapism and spends most of his money on the hobby. Spends an unwritten amount of hours sketching and designing his costume, including useless aesthetic details that make movement very inconvenient.

Yeah, yeah he does fight crime and sometimes save the world, but how exactly does that exclude you from the furry list? The assumption is made only because you think the dictionary definition of "furry" includes "lame". If a furry in costume stops a robbery with kong-fu does that revoke his furrydom?

Batman is quantifiably a furry and if you disagree you're wrong.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8qkr6

No I don't support the "straight" I really just don't give a shit about any of you

No, I'm not heterophobic, it's just that I don't care. If you're gonna be straight or whatever, do it, but I really could care less about you doing it. I actually hate the straight movement. We're at a point in time where, guess what? Nobody gives a fuck if you're straight. Just don't make it someone else's problem. You're honestly annoying. Had a kid in my class unironically call himself a "little straight potato" shits cringe af. Stop it.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8oy5s

Hi. How are you?

I know, it's unpleasant to start the conversation with bad news, but I have no choice.
Few months ago, I have gained access to your devices that used by you for internet browsing.
Afterwards, I could track down all your internet activities.

Here is the history of how it could become possible:
At first, I purchased from hackers the access to multiple email accounts (nowadays, it is a really simple thing to do online).
As result, I could easily log in to your email account.

One week later, I installed Trojan virus in Operating Systems of all devices of yours, which you use to open email.
Frankly speaking, it was rather straightforward (since you were opening the links from your inbox emails).
Everything ingenious is quite simple. (o_0)!

My software enables me with access to all controllers inside devices of yours, like microphone, keyboard and video camera.
I could easily download to my servers all your private info, including the history of web browsing and photos.
I can effortlessly gain access to all your messengers, social networks accounts, emails, contact list as well as chat history.
Virus of mine constantly keeps refreshing its signatures (because it is driver-based), and as result remains unnoticed by your antivirus.

Hence, you can already guess why I stayed undetected all this while.

As I was gathering information about you, I couldn't help but notice that you are also a true fan of adult-content websites.
You actually love visiting porn sites and browsing through kinky videos, while pleasuring yourself.
I could make a few dirty records with you in the main focus and montaged several videos showing the way you reach orgasm while masturbating with joy.

If you are still uncertain regarding the seriousness of my intentions,
it only requires several mouse clicks for me to forward your videos to all your relatives, as well as friends and colleagues.
I can also make those vids become accessible by public.
I honestly think that you do not really want that to happen, considering the peculiarity of videos you like to watch,
(you obviously know what I mean) all that kinky content can become a reason of serious troubles for you.

However, we can still resolve this situation in the following manner:
Everything you are required to do is a single transfer of $1360 USD to my account (or amount equivalent to bitcoin depending on exchange rate at the moment of transfer),
and once the transaction is complete, I will straight away remove all the dirty content exposing you.
After that, you can even forget that you have come across me. Moreover, I swear that all the harmful software will be removed from all devices of yours as well.
Make no doubt that I will fulfill my part.

This is really a great deal that comes at a reasonable price, given that I have used quite a lot of energy to check your profile as well as traffic over an extended period of time.
If you have no idea about bitcoin purchase process - it can be straightforwardly done by getting all the necessary information online.

Here is my bitcoin wallet provided below:
(REDACTED)

You should complete the abovementioned transfer within 48 hours (2 days) after opening this email.

The following list contains actions you should avoid attempting:
#Do not try replying my email (email in your inbox was generated by me alongside with return email address).
#Do not try calling police as well as other security forces. In addition, abstain from sharing this story with your friends.
 After I find out (be sure, I can easily do that, given that I keep complete control of all your devices) - your kinky video will end up being available to public right away.
#Do not try searching for me - there is absolutely no reason to do that. Moreover, all transactions in cryptocurrency are always anonymous.
#Do not try reinstalling the OS on your devices or throwing them away. It is pointless as well, since all your videos have already been uploaded to remote servers.

The following list contains things you should not be worried about:
#That your money won't reach my account.
- Rest assured, the transactions can be tracked, hence once the transaction is complete,
 I will know about it, because I continuously observe all your activities (my trojan virus allows me to control remotely your devices, same as TeamViewer).
#That I still will share your kinky videos to public after you complete money transfer.
- Trust me, it's pointless for me to continue troubling your life. If I really wanted, I would make it happen already!

Let's make this deal in a fair manner!

Owh, one more thing...in future it is best that you don't involve yourself in similar situations any longer!
One last advice from me - recurrently change all your passwords from all accounts.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8mvqj

Last weekend I (16M) visited a friend of mine (17F) for a sleepover. I asked if I could shower because I

wasn't feeling so fresh. She let me and I stepped in. I was flatulent so I farted, but gas wasn't all that

came out. I must admit that I do this on purpose when I'm home but I've never done it at a friend's

house. I was really embarrassed so I just stomped most of it down the drain. Some splattered over the

wall though and the shower was not handheld, so I decided to leave it and hope for the best.

I cleaned myself and put on some clothes and pretended like nothing happened. The next day her

mother decided to take a shower and saw the mess. She was LIVID, screaming at my friend for the

mess she'd made. She started crying and left the room. She returned a few minutes later and she had

a look of death. I panicked, and we argued. I decided to deny all allegations and blame her dog for the

mess. She said that her dog would never projectile shit all over the shower walls, yet I kept denying it.

She eventually calmed down and I left.

I personally think I did nothing wrong since it wasn't even a big mess, and a dog could easily have

done that. My friend won't respond to any of my texts, she's probably expecting me to apologize or

something

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8lmld

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist: "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!" At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock: "How old is this rock?" The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"
"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now."
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named
"Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself
showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country. The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8lh00

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8jay8

I've come to make an announcement:

Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting".

So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong.

He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS. Except I'm not pissing on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the piss drop-el-ets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8i7lh

Hello there. My name is John "Troll" I-C-U-P.

After countless years of trolling, after countless years of laughter the trolled gave me, after countless years of anonymous and relentless cyberbullying, after countless years of death threats and successful suicide incitetements Ive come to realize something important.

In these countless years Ive done nothing but troll people. In these countless years I gave up on my dreams to follow the troll career, I gave up on my aspirations and life to troll people. I gave up on myself.

And in the end I realized:

After countless years I have achieved the perfect troll prank.

I have trolled myself.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s8hkbv