I have a confession I jerk to pics of a 24 year old woman and pics of her mom I love. Her mom is 46 but they are so sexy together especially because I have a smoking fetish and they chainsmoke cigerrettes together they live together constantly smoking they are my neighbors and family friends but they are both single and I jerk off to them smoking too

I'm 20 and I just want to go over there and smoke their cigerrettes while impregnating both but I don't want trouble. When her mom got pregnant but lost the baby she chainsmoked even more making me cum even more but she still somehow produced milk she let her daughter drink straight from the nipples while both still chainsmoked her daughter was 22 at the time.
I honestly cum so much to them

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s32viv

I honestly ADORE my anger. I manage it quite well, and use it as absolute whip and flail, hell, a cat of nine tails, against L/NVM. By the time my voice rises, things have come to a head, and things are GOING to change, that instant, or I walk away. It is that simple. These days, though, it honestly doesn't get that far. I'm far more likely now to walk away. I take forever to bond with someone anyway, don't need a man economically or in any other way, just want companionship. There's nothing keeping me, especially hormones at my age.

When I was a child to 20s, I could not understand older women who were so angry. I believed them; I knew they probably had reason to be, but the mismatch in our life experiences was so vast, it was just one of those things I thought hmm okay maybe I'll understand when I'm older. And now I do. Having grown up a fat girl, many bricks in the wall. Having dated LVM, more bricks. Married and divorced a LVM, many more bricks. The wall was building. Simply going through life, working with lots of people, seeing how other girls and women were treated, I certainly began to understand more and more from my 20s on up.

Anger is such a good thing. I always knew I was on the right track because it was allowed in men, and not allowed in women, so OF COURSE I leaned into it. And it's incredibly effective if used well -- not often, because when I do get angry, it is with reason.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s31yco

It was a saturday afternoon, and I was exhausted after an intense 17-part masturabation session to dream minecraft manhunt, when i suddenly had the urge to go outside. I was scared. It's been so long since i've left the warmth of my parents basement with my dream body pillows. I didnt know what to expect. Clutching my dream figurine in front of my chest, i pried open the door to the outside world. The gleaming sun blared through the door, bequeathing a brilliant warmth on my cum-covered boxers. I quaverly took a step outside. My body flintched from the strange feel of the dirt under my feet. And then i saw it. The lustrous field of grass, covered in a light sprinkle of water from the noon rain shower. And then i realized. Dream... grass... the trees... it was all coming together. Grass is green, just like Dream. Dream is everpresent, in the grass, the flowers, He was there. I immediately new what to do next. I flinged off my clothes faster than the speed at which i would click on a new dream rule 34 post. My dick was already throbbing as i leaped onto the field of grass, dorito dust stained shirt getting carried away by the wind. I dug a small hole in the ground, and passionately thrust my 7-inch erect cock into it. I knew, this was Dream. His spirit was in this grass, and he felt my dick in his man pussy as i fucked that grass. I lost track how long i was there. Hours went by, day turned to night, but it didnt matter. I was finally together, with Dream. Nothing could separate us. I took a long stem of a flower, and forced it in my asshole. I imagined it being Dream's hot penis being lustfully forced into me in bed. I stayed there on my front yard for god knows how long. Until my butt was sore, balls drier than the Saharan desert after a long drought. The lawn looked like there was a layer of fresh snow on a Christmas morning. Trudging indoors, i had a enormous smile stretching across my face. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, when i may go outside again and be with Dream.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s30gd6

I was buying a one-use vibrating cock ring from our local supermarket for my wife and I to try that night before we buy a nice one online. I’m looking forward to the coitus in the near future and am fantasizing about it.

It’s 9:00 at night, and the store is mostly empty and fairly quiet. The kind old greeter man greets me as I walk in. I get the ring and a candy bar and go use the self-checkout to rid myself and any poor kid at a register from potential awkwardness.

Then, I begin to walk out when the security barrier alarm goes off. Shit. The old man comes over to double-check my bag and I happily hand him the receipt and my bag. He looks in it and looks back at me. ‘Hmmmmmmm…’, he says and smiles as if this is an enjoyable experience. I guess it is to him, because he proceeds to take it out in front of the 15 people at the checkout watching me, and walk it back over to the security barrier plain as day to check and see if it truly is my newly purchased cock ring making the alarm go off, and not the candy bar.

Of course it is, and it beeps again, bringing anyone else’s attention over to my predicament.

‘You’re all set.’ He says with another grin. He knows he just completely destroyed my libido and he’s grinning. Last time I ever get anything sexual from anywhere but the internet.


Tl;dr went to the supermarket to get a cock ring, and left the supermarket with a cock ring and a limp dick.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2yqyt

I disagree!

Edit1: According to reddit TOS, the downvote is supposed to be used for comments that don't add anything to the discussion. Now, my disagreement does add something to the discussion, objectively and subjectively. So whoever downvotes me here is breaking reddit TOS.

Edit2: I should say Reddiquette, not TOS. It's about being a shining example of how to behave on reddit. So while you're not breaking terms or agreements, you are showing the lack of class and the absense of quality in your having an account here. If I, who uses good Reddiquette, were to leave, the quality would decrease. But if you, who uses downvoting as a sign of disagreement and criticising, were to leave, the quality of reddit as a whole would actually increase.

Also, while you're here, check out my music!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2xfgf

I disagree!

Edit1: According to reddit TOS, the downvote is supposed to be used for comments that don't add anything to the discussion. Now, my disagreement does add something to the discussion, objectively and subjectively. So whoever downvotes me here is breaking reddit TOS.

Edit2: I should say Reddiquette, not TOS. It's about being a shining example of how to behave on reddit. So while you're not breaking terms or agreements, you are showing the lack of class and the absense of quality in your having an account here. If I, who uses good Reddiquette, were to leave, the quality would decrease. But if you, who uses downvoting as a sign of disagreement and criticising, were to leave, the quality of reddit as a whole would actually increase.

Also, while you're here, check out my music!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2xemh

I disagree!

Edit1: According to reddit TOS, the downvote is supposed to be used for comments that don't add anything to the discussion. Now, my disagreement does add something to the discussion, objectively and subjectively. So whoever downvotes me here is breaking reddit TOS.

Edit2: I should say Reddiquette, not TOS. It's about being a shining example of how to behave on reddit. So while you're not breaking terms or agreements, you are showing the lack of class and the absense of quality in your having an account here. If I, who uses good Reddiquette, were to leave, the quality would decrease. But if you, who uses downvoting as a sign of disagreement and criticising, were to leave, the quality of reddit as a whole would actually increase.

Also, while you're here, check out my music!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2vvhq

Using an alt account because if people trace this back to me my re-election chances might get hurt.

I (74M) am finishing up my first term as President of the United States of America. Let me tell you, America is an incredible country, probably one of the best countries in the whole nation. As my reelection comes closer and closer, my opponent Sleepy Joe has been leading in approval ratings, and I began to get worried. Let me tell you, I am the best at being worried. Just ask anybody in my administration, I get worried like no other president. Anyways, I was considering putting Sleepy Joe to sleep for good, which I think is a service not only to his family, but also the nation as a whole. I was going to ask my good pal Putin to borrow some of that poison he’s using to silence the libtards in his country. So Reddit, am I the asshole?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2uxc5

Wow that's very animephobic of you. POA (people of Anime) are opressed by the saying that "they aren't real". If they are not real why I have an anime girl next to me talking how much of a pussy you are OP? I'll have you know that I've banged over 300 anime waifus and you probably didn't ever have pussy in your life. Heck, your MOM probably was absent at your birth! So keep typing on your greasy keyboard and chug that soda. While you were reading this I probably did around 200 Pushups, situps and bottom belly muscle crunches. My waifu just told me how hot my abs look while she was making me a sandwich. I wonder what your abs look like? Oh, I forgot. You weight 300 pounds need a scooter to move just around. I am now going to evict my tenant for not paying rent. Did I mention that I own around 200 flats and my net worth is around 250-300$ million dollars? Yeah, let's talk again when you reach my level, cuck.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2ubs1

i want to tie tom holland to his bed and make him watch as i torture Zendaya to death, but I won't call him Tom I'll call him Peter, and then when Zendaya has all the blood drained out of her as she hangs from the ceiling, I will say, "Why didn't you save her, Spider-man?". Then, I will shoot myself in the head, satisfied with the knowledge that I have psychologically destroyed this stupid dickhead. All because there were too many damn jokes in his fucken spider-man movies

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2tndr

Bro you’re using a reddit avatar. How are you gonna shame someone for making a custom character from a template when you’ve also made a custom character from a template.

This is reddit. We’re all losers. Nobody is cool here. Unless they’re sticking their dick in a dead kitten or something you have no right to mock someone for being weird

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2jm38

Yesterday I was shopping at Walmart to resupply on ramen, I was riding a motorized cart to support my 390 pound body (muscle), when an old veteran with a cane approached me, “hey buddy, do you think I could use that?” he said with a kind smile. I teleported behind him and forced my finger into his butthole, “ A king needs a horse to lead him into battle. Get lost, geezer” I whispered. He fell over with a beautiful arch. The crowd begged me to stop while I took him to pound town, never let ANYONE stop you from your grind.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2qrhe

Sex 2: Version 1.0 patch.
Patch notes:
• Added the ability to change (don't ask)
• Added an new toggleable mode, Funky Mode. More details in a seperate blog post.
• Removed dreamsexual from the sexuality selection.
Bug fixes:
Bug #4278- Cannot perform the Triple fisted cumblast when you're above level 81.
Bug #3895- The Level 69 achivement cannot be obtained if one is doing Mission 37: Protect your purity.
Bug #211.5- Achivement 1: 'Welcome to the Cum Zone' can't be obtained if you change your contrast on the main menu just before.

That is all, enjoy Sex 2. This will be a long term supported version. Make sure to update your software before performing any actions.

-Sex Co. Copyright 2022. "Sex 2" trademark pending.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2qeti

Sorry if this isn’t the place for this but I literally don’t know what to do. Yesterday my gf was sitting on my face and I guess she contracted in a weird way as she was finishing and she full on poo’d on me. I was so grossed out I freaked out and she left in a hurry and idk what to do. It was so gross nothing like that has ever happened before. Do I talk to her about it? Pretend it never happened??

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2p87h

WARNING DON’T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO CRIME / NSFW / FLASHING IMAGES :













Hello (Sorry for bad English)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s25ijr

**I've just been threatened by a claimed Navy SEAL and sniper with access to US military spy resources over the internet. How should I respond?**

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2lq4z

So I'm a high schooler and I recently moved to a new school. Goodbye to my old friends😥. So I have been in this school for like 3-4 days so I think I'm getting used to it... But there's just a dude that seems kinda weird, he's new here too and the reason that he's weird is because of his fucking ass and belly, like I'm trying to think that I'm just imagining stuff but like his belly gets bigger everyday and his ass emits fucking toxic gas, he got a fucking Chernobyl aura around him bro! So yesterday we kinda bumped into each other and he started asking me why does everyone calls him fat? Dude because your fucking fat! I nearly vomit to his smells so I just ran away without saying anything. Today our school have a welcoming assembly for the new students including me and the guy... It was all going well untill that fat guy stood up and said "Fuck you all mfers for saying that I'm fat, Now eat shit irl bitches!" Then a extremly loud sound comes from his belly! It fucking sounds like a car engine!😨 People just laughed at him lol. But then he pointed his ass at us and shits just runs out of his ass like a fucking mini gun and pieces everyone killing them! People started panicking and running around while the fat guy was shooting them like bugs. Shits were covering the whole school🤢 It seems like he stored shit for today thats wy his belly was getting bigger soo fast. He then proceed to grab some dead girls body and do necrophilia with them🔥💯 He was cumming all over the dead bodies! I was acting dead. But SOme of his cum got into my mouth and it tasted..................... soooo good so I just ran to his dick and started licking it! After that we leave and I'm his femboy cum storage now.🥶😎

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2jzp3

Oh... I see what this is all about! :D You want the Community right? :D \^ - \^ Your take your Hentai seriously hein? \^ \_ \^ XDWell you should have requested it to Reddit before! :3 :)
Alas many people did but they were all D-E-N-I-E-D! O\_O

Guess Reddit doesn't think they have what it takes! XD :If you really want i may think about adding you to the Mod Team here though ok? \^ \_\_ \^ Try talking to me next month once the reforms are done and the Community opens up again! :)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2jqdz

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokemon.Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokemon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokemon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate.Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokemon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokemon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2iqyq

🚨Attention🚨ALL FORTNITE GAMERS 🎮🎮🎮, John Wick is in great danger🆘, and he needs YOUR help to wipe out 💀 all the squads in THe tilted towers 🏢🏢🏢. To do this, he needs a gold SCAR 🔫 and a couple of chug-jugs🍺🍺. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number 💳 , and the three numbers on the back 3️⃣ and the expiration month and date 📅. But you gotta be quick ⚡so that John can secure the bag 💰, and achieve the epic victory R O Y A L 👑

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s2h9xi