No sir, YOU are the problem here 💢🚫❌⛔‼️.

The internet 💻 only depicted what it saw when they saw 👀 Roxanne Wolf's heavenly cake 🎂😇, her wide breedable hips ↔️😩, her MOUTH WATERING 🌊 delectable midriff 🤤, her beautiful tail 💋 and last but not least her majestic 🦄 piercing yellow eyes 👀💗 that made everyone's phallus engorge with blood 😳🍆 and their balls blue as saphire jems 💎🍒 because deep down 👇 within the primitive manly hunter-gatherer remnants 👨 that are still within our brains 🧠 it is deeply ingrained that female antromorphic punk rock wolfs 🐺👧 are specimen of the highest order and should be worshipped 🙏 and bred 24/7/52 because they produce superior more attractive offspring 👼.

You should be ashamed you don't get the natural AWOOGA AWOOGA 👀💓💗💖🥵🥵🥵 reaction of the average alpha male.

So yikes sweety that I had to unpack that for you, delete this post now and go do your research. 🤬🤬🤬

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1qwlt

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1qmqt

To preface, I did not write this. My friend did in an Instagram group chat.

Why Vanny is better
Fnaf Security Breach is a game that was released in late 2021.

Since the game has been released, The fans of the game have been fixed upon the characters of the new Fnaf crew and the antagonist in the game, Glamrock Freddy, Monty, Chica and most notably Roxy who is supposed to be in place of Foxy and the antagonist being Vanny/Vanessa.

The reason Roxy is most noticeable here is because most fans on the internet have grown a sexual attraction to the character. Her self righteous complex hiding her insecurities, makes the fans seem like she is submissive and breedable. However, Vanny is probably just as if not the most submissive and breedable character in the franchise.

Firstly, unlike Roxy who is a robot, Vanny is actually a human. Her true identity is a blonde named Vanessa, and as we see throughout history Blondes are nowhere near dominant than their dark haired counterparts plus they give good head even if you slap them.

Even further, Vanessa is a security which gives her a slight position in power and even then, She has control over the security robots scene in the cutscene where she takes down Freddy.

It may seem that “Control” is her theme here thus making her more dominant than Roxy. However, just like Roxy, she puts on that suit to cover up that she’s a submissive blonde who wants to feel controlling and powerful. In her human form she couldn’t even get Freddy back into where he came from. As stated by the Fandom website they say that she is a “a follower of the digital virus Glitchtrap” notice that she isn’t a leader or anything of the sort. Meaning she has a superior, a master, she will do someone’s bidding with no regrets or remorse.

Her being Breedable is already obvious, as she is human her body is made for human male cock and balls unlike Roxy who is made of metal. That way the human make could have little Vanny/Human babies when you breed her.

To even further the point on Vanny being breedable is that she is wearing a bunny costume. Bunnies, biologically, are prolific when it “comes” to breeding as they breed a lot all year round they mate at least 2 or 3 times a day. This coupled by the fact that Vanessa is blonde means that not only can she give good head even if you slap her but you can keep getting in her guts several times.

Another small detail to note is that Bunnies are huge symbol for the porn industry. Women cosplay as sexy bunnies with fishnets and big porn industries such as Playboy use the titular Rabbit as their logo.

(commenting on video clip) Vanny do be looking kinda thicc tho. Those thighs and mannerisms scream sub and hot damn that voice. Compared to the rough voice of Roxy.

In Conclusion, it seems to be perfectly clear, Vanny is biologically breedable, submissively blonde, and bears the symbol of porn itself unlike Roxy.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1orch

This actually happened several months ago.

I love spicy food. A lot. Food just isn't good if I can't taste it on its way in and out. I was preparing a pretty standard meal for myself, tofu with assorted veggies and a few different hot peppers & sauce. After I had finished cutting the peppers and the meal was on the stove I felt an oh so familiar tingle down there, the urge to cut my pepper. I had washed my hands, but obviously not well enough because while I was freeing willy I was treated to a pleasant subtle warmth. I knew I loved spicy stuff, but had never loved it in "that way" before. All was well.

The next time I was cooking something spicy, I was reminded of the oh so nice warmth when I last whipped my dripper. I had to do it again. Now, I consider myself to be an extreme person. I figured I enjoyed the embers, so I would love the inferno. Once I finished cooking I grabbed my bottle of Sudden Death Sauce [1] from the cabinet. This shit is no joke. If I recall, a restaurant was once sued for serving it to someone. Notice I capitalized the sauce's name out of sheer respect and reverence for the power it holds, as I would discover in the events to follow. I poured two drops onto my hand and spread it out, then rinsed my hand off slightly and towel patted it dry. I figured that would mellow out the heat enough for it to be tolerable. How naive I was.

I began thumping the thistle with my hot-hand and some lotion and at first everything was going well. The warmth was back, and felt so good. I kept stroking and it got stronger. And stronger. And stronger still. I had probably been rubbing this crap on my dick for a minute and a half before I realized I had made a terrible mistake and ripped my hand out of my trousers like a nun had walked in on me. Even though I had stopped it kept getting hotter. I sprinted to the bathroom and into the shower. It barely helped. I desperately searched the room for something to extinguish the raging fires of hell from my pulsing pecker, which was by this point so red and shriveled in terror it looked like a flaming hot cheeto. On the counter was the mug that I use to rinse my mouth. Fuck it, I filled it with the coldest of water and shoved my entire package, scrotum and all inside and pressed it tightly against my pelvis. The pain was gone, but if I so much as considered moving or removing the mug it would come come back with a vengeance. Accepting my fate, I sat on the toilet holding a mug against my crotch while sobbing quietly and wishing I was a eunuch for 45 minutes or so.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1nt5d

I think I understand nationalism now. I get the appeal. Nationalists love this country so much that they want to fuck it. They want to be the statue of liberty, fucking each and every monument they can find. That’s why they get so upset about confederate monuments being taken down, one less monument to fuck. From sea to shining, slick, oily sea. They want to drag their nuts across the great plains and explore every nook and cranny of the grand canyon with their tongue. They wanna take the full force of the Mississippi river and go down on each and every one of the Rockies one at a time until they spray their fresh snows all over their dirty little slut faces.

God Bless the USA! Land that I love on!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1mlay

[Petition](https://chng.it/LzhRJpcJ)


(This is a joke pls no ban)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1krn7

​

. . . The Bartender sees such a vivid depth of despair and ennui in the Horse's eyes, like the Horse has stared into the abyss and found the infinite void of nothingness so deep that the Horse could no longer believe that he himself nor anyone nor anything else existed.

To say something exists requires knowledge of self, which requires knowledge of existence of the self, an obviously impossible leap of logic, absurd to even attempt to conceive or contemplate.

The Bartender, in that single instant within the Horse's mind, became the nothingness the Horse perceived, and thus was rendered speechless.

If neither the Horse, nor the Bartender, nor the bar itself can be said to exist, then why should he ask, how could he ask, "Why the long face?" The question can have no meaning, and that which has no meaning cannot be stated.

The Bartender, dumbstruck, not by realization of mortality but by fundamental doubt that he was ever alive, gazes into the endless depth of the Horse's eyes, and asks him, "Sir, I beg you say, do I exist?"

The Horse replies, "Neighhhh..."

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1iggg

Allegedly Drake and the Ig model allegedly met up on Instagram, and the two decided to link up a few weeks ago. The model and Drake had a romantic encounter, and what happened next was well, CRAZY.

After the party, they went back to his hotel. They smoked weed for a bit, and he asked if she wanted to have sex. She said he was very intent on ensuring things were consensual. They started with a bit of foreplay. He rubbed and sucked her titties for a bit. He then went to the bathroom and came out with a condom on.

She said he's about 7 inches, thick, and cut. They fucked for about 20 minutes. He mostly hit it from the back and eventually came inside the condom.

Immediately after, he went back into the bathroom to dispose of it.

She fished the condom out of the trash, untied it, and put the opening end into her vgina. Boy, was she in for a suprise! She said it felt like pouring hot lava into her pssy.

She screamed, and Drake ran into the bathroom. He admitted that he poured a packet of hot sauce in the condom to kill the sperm.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1i7gd

No this isn't a copypasta, it's my own original thought. I know that's hard to believe on the internet, where everything has to be posted ironically or as part of a cringe compilation, but I'm critiquing art. Why don't you believe me? What have I done to be other-ized to your world view so much that you doubt my very humanity? I don't come onto this forum to debate my humanity with robots like you. How about you respond to the points instead, huh? is it that hard to look at the things I've written and decide to respond to them like I'm a real human being with friends and thoughts and feelings and red blood pumping through my body[.](https://www.reddit.com/r/nintendo/comments/rszr8q/fire_emblem_echoes_shadows_of_valentia_turned_a/hqrbruc/)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1fpie

Title. I was doing the deed after abstaining for 2 weeks, it first began with normal material the average person would deem suitable, then I progressively edged and got hornier as my session went on. It ended up with me being curious and finishing off to nikocado's nudes, and when the post nut clarity hit, I genuinely wanted to kill myself. It's been a few days and I don't know how to cope with myself, my actions and what I did, along with the fact that I am well aware and am the same person who did do that.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1ebvl

Okay, so we all know about Lisa, and she is the best Genshin Impact character by far solely because of her uhhhhh...

Magic, yea, her magic. Her uhhh magic is uhh really cool cause she can like summon electro bolts and stuff. Yeah, pretty cool. Her uh magic is really really hot I mean uhhh awesome because she can like uhhh charge it up and stuff and yea thats why Lisa is the best Genshin Impact character.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1da59

My balls don't hurt.😡😠😡😠😡😠 PLEASE STOP TELLING ME THAT MY BALLS HURT, IT'S NOT FUNNY. It got to the point where even MY PARENTS told me that my balls hurt..
IF YOU PROCEED TO TELL ME THE SAME FUCKING SHIT I HEARD MORE THAN A ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO TIMES I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING TO YOU AND TO MY BALLS💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
💫Here's a few reasons why my balls don't hurt, the actual proof💫:
1. Yes, my balls are big, sometimes they even escape the underwear, but they just want to breathe more, even if they don't breathe, they still don't hurt👺
2. My balls have stainless steel properties, even when my mom🙉 hit my balls with her FUCKING LEG they didn't hurt, but they made da funy sound like bzinggg haha
3. My balls are a 🌿nature's miracle🌿. They're protected by the gods😾 and the demons😈, if I ever get into a black hole, my balls are going to be alive👽.
4. Remember that SpongeBob episode where he was in krusty krabs?🤣🤣 so I put my balz on da gril and instead of da bollz frying, the oven started overheating
5. My balls can't hurt, because I'm not a 💩human being💩, I'm actually the ball lord himself😤, you should praise me if you don't want your balls to hurt, if YOU tell ME that my BALLS HURT, you don't even know what can happen.😡😡
So these are the 5 reasons why MY BALLS DON'T, UNDERSTAND IT? DON'T HURT😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
IT'S NOT MY BALLS THAT HURT IT'S YOUR FUCKING BALLS YOU DUMBASS GO GET A LIFE AND MAYBE NEW BALLS YOU BALLBRAIN, I WILL CAUSE GIGANTIC BALL DAMAGE IF YOU TELL ME ONCE AGAIN THAT MY BALL HURT.😭😭😭😭😭😭

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1bxxz

What did you just say? Did you just say I can't dip my balls in the soda dispenser? I thought this was America. Land of the free, Home of the brave. I fought for this country, I served in Vietnam in 1917. And I cannot hear you, i am currently dipping my balls in the soda dispenser

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1blx0

Fortnite is the pinnacle of game design. We will never have a game that will surpass it. "counter strike global offensive" you might say, but that's where I have to remind you that you're just some pathetic beta cuck who's still stuck in the last meta. How many girls have you fucked recently? exactly. your bitch strike global offensive aint getting you any bitches, while I've fucked my entire college dorm in the past week just by telling everyone that I play fortnite. The second people know they start lining up at my door, wanting the taste of what a true victory royale tastes like, unlike your dry ass dick that has seen as much action as the CSGO competitive scene did in 2020. Fear my power you fucking beta csgo player, and watch as fortnite takes over as the domanating competitive game in 2022 onward, and while I'm on the big stage winning big you'll be quivering next to csgo's dry ass milkers begging for a single extra drop, so keep trash talking fortnite you fucking loser, and wihle you sit there thinking that maybe someone will finally fuck you for your shit opinions I'm here playing fortnite and shitting on your pathetic baby RNG game for boomers. Grow up. and get some bitches like me. While I'm busy fucking Loona and your competitive scene. While Fortnite thrives you'll be trying your best to stop your pathetic game from dying, while Fortnite will continue growing, until it surpasses it to such and unpassable point that your pathetic game will be forgotten in the dust, as that's how powerful Fortnite is, and while you try to flex your might claiming there's some "skill" in you 5v5 baby arena I'm fighting for my life against 99 other players... and still have a 99% win rate, with that 1% of matches loss being matches where I felt bad for the other player because of how pathetic they were. While you have to deal with the baby decisions of how to win a pathetically easy 1v5 im out here dropping 50 bombs every game, tactically playing on a whole nother level, and the pathetic system of "resource management" you claim to exist in your game isn't even comparable to the resource management in fortnite, and unlike your pathetic "pros" who cant even win a 1v5 i constantly default dance on full lobbies with just a gray pistol, while your pros can't even wina 1v1 with full utility. Your pathetic game can never compare to the might of my game, as mine is on a completely different universe to yours- one that has ascended to a whole new plane of existence, one that yours cant even comprehend because of the garbage that you and other pathetic cucks play on a daily basis, now get out of my face you pathetic loser, as I have to play a game that actually requires using more then 5iq.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s1aw94

Idk about you, but my balls come and go like the tides. I swear the moon actually has something to do with it. Some days they’re hanging lower than my 15” flaccid dong, other days they’re so high up they disappear. So if ball cleavage is going to become a real thing, I’m gonna need to speak with a doctor about my retracting ball problem. Or we can integrate a motor into the shorts to adjust cleavage as necessary. Either way works for me.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s19mtk

I literally cannot get enough of it. I want to bathe in it. I love eating her out just so I can rub it all over my face.

I don’t understand what it is about her. I’ve always been very sexual by nature and have always enjoyed giving head, but I’ve never been with anyone who tastes and smells so wonderful. It doesn’t matter if she’s fresh out of the shower, just finished with a workout, just home from a long day at school. I even want it after I’ve already cum inside her.

I usually don’t wash my face after I’ve gone down on her. Her juices get soaked into my beard and I can smell it on me for hours. The best part of the pandemic is going in public and putting a mask on and all I can smell is her. It’s so hot going into work after we’ve had morning sex and I’m breathing in her pussy through my mask all day and I’m so horny for her, and none of my coworkers have any idea.

I absolutely love it. Typing this up has made me want more. As soon as I post this I’m getting back in bed and putting her pussy right back where it belongs, right against my mouth.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s0vi3t

“Oh SHIT!” You shout as your mother’s prized vase comes crashing down. “Well, that sucks. Better clean this up before I slit my wrists.”

As you bent down to pick up a piece of glass you accidentally cut your left middle finger, blood slowly coming into view.

“Well that’s inconvenient.” You state.

You feel a presence behind you, and turn around to see your boyfriend.

The letter Q.

Standing behind you with a concerned look.

“Are you alright?” His smooth sexy voice asks.

“Yes I’m not dead, my finger got hurt by the vase, which also got hurt. What will I do?”

You frowned and 𝚀 frowned back.

“We will fix your firm little finger then the vase. I don’t have hands.” He emphasizes this by non-wiggling his firm throbbing ℚ spout.

You both walk (you on your demetri legs, him on his non-legs) to the bathroom for the first aid kit.

He carefully pulls out a bandaid and even more carefully puts it around your finger, shlicking the skin.

You both forgot to wash it off but it’s fine.

You go back to the kitchen (where the vase was) and use the broom to sweep up the mess of broken shards.

While dumping it into the trash you hear 𝐐 say, “I love you.”

You flip around faster than the speed of something really fast, smiling like a person with a large mouth.

“I love you too.” You say and kiss him with tongue.

You both go to bed, where you slowly yet methodically massage his letter 𝑄 stem with your moistening throat.

In the middle of the night you bolt upwards, “You said we’d fix the lamp, but we just threw it away, why did that happen?”

𝕼 mumbles in his sleep “I don’t have hands, I can’t fix a vase. It’s why your tongue is so important to me.”

You understand and go back to sleep.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s17ne8

ER. Typical day. Full waiting room, ambulances lining up, phones ringing, call buttons being mashed like a Tekken game. I stroll into my assigned pod at the beginning of my shift with an ambulance already rolling in, medics eager to hand off and skedaddle.

Sacral pressure ulcer, fever, worsening fatigue. Sepsis? Sepsis. Standard order for a contracted bedbound elderly woman with 3 day a week home care and daughter as primary caregiver. She says her booty hurts. I bet it does. We'll check it out in a second. First, it's time for the ER special of 2 IVs, an 18g in the forearm and a 22g in the knuckle, cultures, antibiotics, COVID swab, the donut of truth, and consult to literally everyone that's ever sneezed near the patient and has an MD after their name.

I grab the nearby ~~fresh meat~~ new grad nurse and say hey, it's time to clean grandma. Grandma finally had some pain meds and is in dilala land. Raul dutifully rolls contracted grandma, who doesn't notice because she's higher than the Wright brothers. Standard home care special, a dirty diaper that's saturated with urine, a few poop nuggets, a 3 inch stage 4 pressure ulcer I could stick my tiny fists in. Oh wait, what's that? A second ulcer? I see another large 4 inch hole just under the first sacral ulcer, but crusted with stool. A few nuggets must have escaped the booty and meandered on over to this second ulcer. I grab them with a bath wipe and gently remove the poop nuggets.

And then I realize that isn't a sacral ulcer. It's a booty hole. She has a fecal impaction. And that's her rectum, stretched out 4 inches wide and full of rock solid poop nuggets that she can't squeeze out. Raul, the poor baby nurse, realizes this right after I do. He looks horrified. I think he might leave nursing and go become a hermit.

Grandma is still high.

I sigh, and with a gloved hand pick at the poop nugget mass. It's formed like monkey bread, individual balls of poop smushed together by the force of her gaping asshole. It tears apart quite easily, much like the monkey bread it's shaped like. Grandma groans a bit. I peel away the surface nuggets, hoping it's all just there at the edge. It is not. I can see an inch into her rectal vault, the forbidden monkey bread staring at me, her rectum still gaping. How much is in there? I can't leave her like this. How does her rectum hold that gaping shape? How long has she been like this? It's possible to stretch that much?

I dig a bit deeper. It isn't a difficult task. Nugget after nugget is scooped out. Grandma says it feels better now. I keep scooping. My whole hand slips easily in without actually touching the walls of her intestines. I am wrist deep inside an elderly woman, making eye contact with a freshly minted nurse of just a few weeks, wishing I had finished my coffee before this so I could properly comprehend what was going on.

After an eternity, I've scooped what looks to me to be about a pound or more of stool out of grandma. It's a scale bed, so I weigh her after. 1.3 lb difference. She says she feels much better. I'm sure she does. Her butthole appears to be shrinking down to a normal size, but I'm still concerned.

The doctor comes back in to evaluate the pressure ulcer, since I told him to wait until I've cleaned her. He looks at me, direct eye contact.

"Good job fisting grandma."

I'm offered a fist bump. I decline. I go finish my coffee, and wonder what the next 11 hours of my shift will bring. Raul avoids eye contact with me for awhile.

Merry Christmas, may your grandma not need to be fisted in the ER for a fecal impaction. And please, for the love of all things holy, give grandma a stool softener if she takes enough Percocet to make Future bat an eye. Otherwise she'll get disimpacted by an undercaffeinated ER nurse when trying to assess the pressure ulcer she acquired from family being too busy to turn her during the holidays.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s17b3z

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Source: https://old.reddit.com/s15fn2

Me (20F) was giving my boyfriend (22M) a blowjob. We normally love to play music while getting it on but in my opinion, he has a better taste in music so we used his sex playlist but today instead, we used mine just to change it up. It’s a short playlist only like 32 minutes long or something? Anyways so as i’m giving him a blowjob all of a sudden Mask by Dream starts playing and my boyfriend INSTANTLY lost his erection after hearing the song for like 10 seconds. He asked me if this was Dream and I was so shocked and embarrassed that i didn’t say anything. I then laughed it off like a joke and quickly switched the song but he did not seem amused at all. He went to bed after that and i asked him if he was made and he said no he was just tired but i think he’s mad. I didn’t have that song on the playlist so it just randomly came on after the playlist was done because i listen to it sometimes and i guess spotify knows i like that song! What do I do?!?!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/s0kjaz