I did this once.

On a plane, hungover, got the alcohol sweats going. Kids were running up and down aisle of plane, chasing each other, laughing and screening.

I gave the older kid a knife and told him to go stab the pilot. He runs to cockpit and sibling followed. Air Marshall shot then both dead and have the knife back to me.

Everyone on the plane and in the control tower talking to the pilot cheered. Marshall gave me his sidearm or of respect for my quck thinking.

Just kidding. I threw up in the airport bathroom and missed my fight.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rz2l3t

I have watched NTR, Rape, Ugly Bastard, Bondage, Vanilla, Mind Break, Mind Control, Maid, School Girl, Glasses, Incest, Etc. But there is one thing that I can’t fap it’s called LOLI. I hate that shit why does that shit even existed? I search LoLi + rape and all are garbage. The only good thing that pops up is called Garden but the loli part is like bruhhhhhh. I hate that fucking garbage tag with all my heart. Who tf even likes that shit, that thing is garbage itself if you watch it, it will take minutes before you coom not funny. Pls remove that thing in hentai. They don’t have a fucking tits it’s just like my phone F L A T. Fuck it yes I have a fetish for rape but that’s just it I like the genre and almost all hentai I’ve watch all have Rape Tag I have no Choice. Call me anything you want but I would never watch that crap ever again.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rz1we9

Ok so I live next door to an older couple and their mid-twenties (I think) son. I work from home, so I'm based in the office in my attic. We've lived here for 6 years and it has always been fine, up until recently when I think they've had a house move around and now it seems the son has his bedroom in their attic which is directly next to where I'm sat.
We have extremely thin walls, and I think the son works from home too. The problem is, he doesn't seem to actually do any work, he just spends the majority of the working day shaking hands with the milkman. Spanking the monkey. Battling the purple headed yoghurt slinger. Tugging the slug. I can hear EVERY fucking moan and stroke, and I even know his porn preferences because I can hear every sound and word (Older women with a sprinkling of hentai). It has gotten to the point where I can't bring my kids upstairs during the day because they keep asking me what that strange noise is and I'm running out of lies to tell.
So good neighbour, on the extremely small chance you're reading this, STOP SPENDING YOUR ENTIRE DAY STROKING THE VEIN CANE AND DO SOME FUCKING WORK!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rz0pqz

No you don’t get it. Femboys are extremely feminine and love to put on pretty makeup and dresses and want to be feminine and submissive to men. They’re much closer to my idealized 50s housewife than a modern woman who might have kids at 40 from a long career of typing spreadsheets for a corporation to fight the “Patriarchy.” They’re actually the real women now.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryz814

I know what you're thinking. 'Did he cum six times or only five'? Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kind of lost track myself. But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful condom in the world, and could stop a jet that would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel pregnant?' Well do ya, spunk?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryypa2

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT HENTAI GAMES?!

You think they've ONLY JUST NOW become popular? That the trend started A FEW FUCKING YEARS AGO! ARE YOU SHITTING ME? DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE ART FORM? I get you must be 12, but let me fucking educate you, you FUCKING SHITBAG! While doing this I AM GOING TO FEEL LIKE A PEDOFILE because I will SCREW YOUR ENTIRE ARGUMENT IN THE ASS and I know you didn't spend 18 years formulating it, because you weren't even in your dad's ballsack 18 years ago BITCH.

In the early 80's , during the second generation of gaming, there were TONS of porn games. GIGALO? X-MEN? JUNGLE FEVER?? Have you ever SUCKED THE TIT OF A BITCH HANGING OUT A HELICOPTER AS YOU AVOIDED CANNIBALS AND FIRE AND SHIT? I have, because I PLAYED FUCKING ATARI 2600. Doesn't the name Mystique ring a FUCKING BELL? CUSTER'S REVENGE? BACHELORETTE PARTY? BEAT 'EM AND EAT 'EM!!! These were big fucking deals, DON'T YOU JUST KNOW YOUR FUCKING HISTORY?!

There weren't as much in the mid-to-late-80's, as we get into the NES days, but that doesn't mean THERE WAS NOTHING. ALL THE UNLICENSED GAMES. BUBBLE BATH BABES? THE PUZZLE GAME WHERE YOU JACK OFF TO WOMEN COVERED IN SUDS? DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT EMI-CHAN NO MOERO YAKYUUKEN! DRAGON SLAYER FOR THE PC-88!!!!!!

And when we get to the 90's, this is how I FUCKING KNOW you have no FUCKING IDEA what you're talking about. MS-DOS games had A SHIT TON of pornographic games. I'm not just talking about your Leisure Suit Larrys and Cobra Panics. I mean REAL FUCKING PEOPLE. Countless Strip Poker games. Games where you slide puzzle pieces around so you get a complete picture of some model or porn star. DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHO CINDY CRAWFORD AND SAMATHA FOX ARE?! They had so many fucking games, they made porn games out of non-porn games. PORN TETRIS. PORN QIX (DON'T GET ME STARTED ON GALS PANIC). I have never seen Hot Numbers without it being attached to some curly-haired 80's bitch. I am convinced they made this genius game concept just for wanks. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STRIP ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS GAMES (yakyuken is the term) FOR THE ORIGINAL PLAYSTATION! I'M NOT EVEN GONNA EXPLAIN WHAT A PC-98 IS!

And when we get to the 00's, this is when I get really FUCKING pissed. Adult games have been around since the START OF THE FUCKING INTERNET! FRANK'S ADVENTURE? COOTES BAR: X-RAY GLASSES? THE ENTIRE MEET N'FUCK SERIES?! HAVE YOU NEVER VISITED FUCKING NEWGROUNDS IN YOUR ONE STEP ABOVE FETUS LIFE? THE DRESS UP GAMES? Have you EVER played the Misty Dress Up game where you can take her clothes off and see her ms paint drawn body? Don't you know about the easter egg when you click on her eye and it shows you a CRAP LOAD of R34 art of her? IT'S NOT WEIRD THAT SHE'S 12, BECAUSE IT WAS DESIGNED FOR 12 YEARS OLDS TO JACK OFF TOO. MY DICK WAS TINY BACK THEN (still twice the length of yours I bet ;) ) AND I STILL CAME GALLONS (1 gallon=3.79 liters) TO THAT SHIT. DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL THE DATING SIMS? THE PARODIES OF THE FUCKING DATING SIMS? BEFORE YOUR MOM BENT OVER ASS BACKWARDS FOR YOUR DAD I WAS GETTING BRICKS THROWN AT ME BY REI FUCKING AYANAMI YOU LITTLE JERKOFF!

I am so FUCKING disappointed in you. You know nothing about porn games, you know SHIT. Do you think it started with FUCKING HUNIEPOP? IT DIDN'T! I KNOW, BECAUSE I WAS THERE! I outclass you in every possible way in this field. I bet you lack the simplest knowledge for even the modern shit. I BET YOU DON'T KNOW A PPPPU FROM A SPNATI! I BET YOU THINK ZONE-TAN STARTED WITH THE FUCKING ANIMAL CROSSING CAT! BUT YOU'RE WRONG. YOU'RE SO DEAD FUCKING WRONG. DON'T JERK OFF AGAIN. NOT UNTILL YOU'RE FUCKING EDUCATED! YOU'RE DISGUSTING! I BET YOU'VE ONLY JERKED OFF TO RICK AND MORTY: A WAY BACK HOME AND MINECRAFT PORN, AND I STILL BET I KNOW MORE ABOUT THE ORIGINAL SEX AND NUDITY MINECRAFT MOD THAN YOU. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryxped

We have to ban the word NFT and anything associated with it. Ever since the Bored Ape NFTs dropped right wing extremists have been using it as a secret insult to black people.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rywpi6

sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryvqke

Cope libtard. This generation is so weak, they cry over the smallest, nonsensical things. I swear to God (✝️) if we put liberals to change a log by bolb?????? they’ll be to busy??? Their gender!!!! 😂😂😂😂

-Sent from John’s iPad, 800 Howard Baker Jr Avenue, Knoxville, Kentucky

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryv549

So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners).

So, Reddit. AITA?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rytnw8

Here I am, masturbating to Roblox porn while listening to Frank Ocean. What has my life become? Am I really beating off to Roblox? It seems like I am slowly losing my humanity slowly one by one. I can't believe that I am beating my little tilly whacker to Roblox porn bro, I got lotion on my dick, I'm suck a freak man. What have I done bro.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rys8zl

Used to get teased for my dick size, almost made me leave school

Anyone else have a hard time back in school? I used to get teased by the boys at school for having a smaller dick, it started when I was 14, I wasn’t aware that my dick was small, a friend asked me what my size was so I told the truth, he burst out laughing and told me how small it was, I was really self conscious after that, and throughout school we had to do swimming, so getting changed for swimming was terrible, people used to see my dick and humiliate me. The rumour spread to the girls, and they started teasing me too. Then one point on a school hiking trip I was in a group of 5 people, me another guy and the rest girls. I needed to pee, and the other guy was comfortable just peeing in the open, but I walked them all to leave and give me space to pee. The girls then said “we don’t care if you have a tiny penis, I mean we do actually, that’s really embarrassing, but if you do you don’t need to hide it” I was annoyed at the humiliation so I did it, then the girls said afterwards, oh actually now I can see why you tried to hide it, that really is embarrassing, I’ve had such low confidence ever since, I’m now 19 and have left school

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryrgih

The future is gone. Earlier, in childhood, there was always something bright, unknown ahead. A life! And now I know exactly what will happen next - the same things as today. I will work at the same job, go to the same restaurants, well, the others, but the same level. I will drive almost the same car.

Instead of the future there is a present. There is the present, which happens right now, and the present which will be later. And the main thing is that I like my present. I like my job, cars are good, food in these restaurants is delicious. But I still have a nostalgia for a future.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryqjlg

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the security breach wolf so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I launch the gamel I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Roxanne. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Roxanne's tight wolf pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/animatronic babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my computee. I might not ever get to see Roxanne again.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryq48r

My Big Rug.. tis a must (Size 8 x 11)|Fake Plants.. you just gotta have em|My Mic Stand|My Microphone|Extra Lighting I have that's sick|My Main Light that Brightens up my Face (I have 2)|My Eye Tracker|My Green Screen|My Stream Deck|My Keyboard|My Current Monitor Mount is Unavailable, but this is the one i would get!|My Monitors! (I have 3)|My Main Camera Stand|My Gaming Chair|My Desk Top (This is NOT the exact one, as Amazon does not carry it, but this one is very similar!)|My Desk Drawers(2)(I have Black & White)|My Secondary Webcam|My Main Camera

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rynys1

Ok so I live next door to an older couple and their mid-twenties (I think) son. I work from home, so I'm based in the office in my attic. We've lived here for 6 years and it has always been fine, up until recently when I think they've had a house move around and now it seems the son has his bedroom in their attic which is directly next to where I'm sat.

We have extremely thin walls, and I think the son works from home too. The problem is, he doesn't seem to actually do any work, he just spends the majority of the working day shaking hands with the milkman. Spanking the monkey. Battling the purple headed yoghurt slinger. Tugging the slug. I can hear EVERY fucking moan and stroke, and I even know his porn preferences because I can hear every sound and word (Older women with a sprinkling of hentai). It has gotten to the point where I can't bring my kids upstairs during the day because they keep asking me what that strange noise is and I'm running out of lies to tell.

So good neighbour, on the extremely small chance you're reading this, STOP SPENDING YOUR ENTIRE DAY STROKING THE VEIN CANE AND DO SOME FUCKING WORK!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rymmvo

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Source: https://old.reddit.com/rym2cs

So my boyfriend wants to look inside of my vagina using a speculum. I don’t really understand what the point of that would be? I bought the speculum though. Still waiting on it to show up. Lol
Anyways, I’m wondering if maybe anyone could explain why he has a thing for wanting to open me up and looking inside of my vagina 🤷🏻‍♀️

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryk8te

Yesterday, I had doggy sex with your 200lb mom (620F), and she loved it. I went “AUGGGGGGHHHHHH” and she went “OHHHHHHHH FUCK ME HARDER DADDY”. Then your stupid sister walked in, and I killed her with my katana because I am a degenerate weeb. Then I killed your ogre mom. I then proceeded to jack off with the 4Kids One Piece rap in the background.

So Reddit, AITA?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryjp4m

Simple minded people do not understand Carti’s genius. He repeats the phrase “Never too much” as it is an attempting to feed his ego, as his life is in constant torment and agony, therefore compensating with a large ego in attempt of flushing out the negativity Within the background we can hear the clattering of chains, this symbolizes how he is a slave to the industry and to his own mind, as chains are what slaves wore back when there were slaves. “I got some racks (yeah), I got some bags (yeah)” This is him explaining to us how he has a constant void within his soul and in attempt of filling it he flaunts all the money that he possess [0:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwdsnGfrd-k&t=39s) \-[0:49](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwdsnGfrd-k&t=49s) He talks about intercourse with a woman. This is again exclaims the void within his soul as he thinks that the lust will take the pain away. However it only leaves a temporary sensation. This leads him to resort to drugs and other illegal substances as a means to cope. “Ion give no f\*cks” This may be a hint to Carti’s depression and possibly su\*cidal thoughts “Even when I’m at my f\*cking shows, I keep one tucked” This means that even when he is in a safe environment he still does not feel safe. (This could possibly be allegorical to him fighting the demons within his mind however there is no evidence for it). He repeats the title “Rockstar Made” as he feels his life is the same of that of a rockstar. Rockstars are infamous for actually being sad on the inside as opposed to what they are presenting to their. “I f\*cked that b\*tch in the backseat now that b\*tch bragging” again linking towards the fact that he attempts to fill the void with women and lust. “I just killed a op” This means that he was able to move on from his traumas, as his biggest op is himself “Send my n\*ggas to your mama house it get tragic” Carti is in denial that he has a major case of schizophrenia “Got a bad b\*tch i don’t believe in average” He tends to meet up with attractive women because he doesn’t see himself the same way and in attempt to cover his own flaws. This song does not have a video as it links back towards his genius and how he, as a rockstar, doesn’t have time to be doing music videos but living a rockstar life.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/ryi7a6