Hi you seem to be new here. Allow me to inform you that redditors call these buttons the upvote and downvote buttons (sometimes affectionately referred to as an updoot). Additionally, while you're hear I recommend you read up on the proper retiquette. Thank you for your time and happy redditing!

Edit: Thank you for the award kind stranger!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg70l1

Science has evolved so much that we can now grow crops with desired features. That's what I did, I grew a special type of potato. A CUM POTATO.
I dug the drench 8 inch deep and kept the rows about three feet apart. After that I planted seed potato, with thier 'eye' facing upwards. I grew the crop without the use of any weedicide or pesticide, the only thing I gave it for nutrition was my cum. My thick, luscious, viscous,nutritious, life-giving cum.
Every morning I watered my field and then jerked while watching the scarecrow, and I sprayed my jizz the eye of each potato.
I produce organic vegetables and the potatoes I grew are spongy and gooey. Perfect for making mashed potatoes.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg6axe

So my (MtF) friend had a crush on this guy for a long time. Recently she finally had the courage to ask him out but when she did, he replied with: "As the movie Ted already taught us, there are no chicks with dicks, there are only dudes with boobs and I'm not gay".

I was (and still am) so incredibly mad after I heard what happened, I went to him and punched his face. I am here to ask: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THAT AN OBVIOUS GIRL GETS REJECTED just because some BEAR in a MOVIE was talking stupid shit??????

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg4qhy

my new 🤢 🤮 smp 🌳🏠 season 55️⃣💯 is coming 💦🔥soon ⏲️ 🕙 on 🚧🏗️ December 21st 📆🗓️ don't forget 💭🤔 to join 👍🤪and enjoy 😂🥳on my 🕋 server 🛬🏬 rule number 1 👆1️⃣ no hacking 💻🖥️ hackers 🤡 are God awful 🤠😄 rule 🔨number 2 2️⃣ no griefing 😢💣 griefing ruins 😭my builds 🏗️🏘️ that I work 🧑‍🏭hard 🍆on 👍 rule👨‍⚖️number 3 3️⃣ no stealing💰💸 you should 👆✊ grind 👨‍🌾 for your item 📱📞🔨📺🧯🛢️and not 🚫 🙅‍♂️just take🤢🤮 people👩‍🦰👩‍🦱🧑‍🦰👴👩 hard work 📊📉 number 4 4️⃣🍀 no ❌🚫 swearing 🤬🤬🤬swear 🤢🤮is bad ❌🚫 and you 🇺🇸👍 shouldn’t do it ✊✊✊rule 👩‍⚖️ number 5 5️⃣ no duping 🚫❌🖨️ you should 😎👍grind ✊for item 🎥📞🔌🔨🔦💡🧱🪓 instead of 🤮🤮🤮 duping 🤢🤢🤢 it 😭last rule 😤👹no killing 🗡️⚔️🔪🪓🧨other people 🧔👨‍🦳👱👧🧕👴they don’t 🚫❌🚫❌🚫want to die 💀☠️have fun 😎✊on my 😂😂 smp 🌲🏘️

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg4o24

I used to live next to an abortion clinic and it had its positives and negatives. On the plus side I got to know all the slutty girls in my town. On the minus side my dog kept digging through their trash and scattering aborted fetuses all over my yard. Fortunately I was able to pay my lawn guy a little extra to clean it up every time. Thank God for immigrants.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg3e5m

Dear 📣📣 moderators. You 🍆👨 have no right 👌 to ban me or remove 🍢 my messages. 💌 Do 💕🏆 you 🔝🔥 even 🌠 know 🤓💭 who 😂 my father 👴 is? 👮😦 He 👨♂ is 👌 a 👌 very 👌💁 powerful and 👏 rich man. 👨😎 I 😡💧 strongly 💪 advise you not ♀ to 👪✌ mess 😄💦 with me 🔇 or 🚫💁 consequences ⚠ will 🤔🐼 be 🐝 met in court. I hope you 😫👈 understand all the seriousness of the situation. Have 🈶 a good 🍝😀 day. 🏾

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg2o4s

I really hate the "But it looks and sounds like a child" argument that's going on in this comment section, I really fucking hate it so much. They keep saying "there must be something wrong with you" and I'm just fucking floored by the fact that so many people have the absolute inability to seperate fiction from reality. Nobody is harming anybody at all by enjoying loli stuff, it's harmless in the end and it only really boils down to somebody's personal anime preferances. It's a fantasy, we all have them and they can be fucked up. It's best to just shut up and let people enjoy things, becausw they aren't harming anybody yet y'all attack them over the fact that they have weird tastes in things

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg1xy8

sexual intercourse the Clippers. Oh you thought since you're not actually L.A.'s team that we'd let you off light? Nope. We're comin' straight at you bro. And we're comin' straight at you bro hard. Just because we folded Booker doesnt mean we dont have a Chris in the hole with a McGee kicker, plus a full house of wings. We call it 3-guard Monty. And you're gonna hate it. Might as well cash out now, bitches. The best team in the league is here. LESSGEDDIT

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rg132v

I DO NOT CARE IF THIS DOES OFFEND SOMEONE…THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE…I AM SICK AND TIRED OF EVERY YEAR WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES AROUND; THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS BECAUSE IT MIGHT OFFEND SOMEONE…WELL, HOW ABOUT ALL OF THE CHRISTIANS?...WHAT ABOUT OFFENDING US BECAUSE YOU ARE TAKING OUR CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS?...CHRIST IS CHRISTMAS!...IF YOU AREN'T CELEBRATING CHRIST THEN WHY ARE YOU CELEBRATING?...CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT THE BIRTH OF OUR SAVIOR!...CHRISTMAS IS ONE OF A FEW HOLIDAYS LEFT THAT CELEBRATE "MY" CHRIST!...LEAVE "MY" HOLIDAY ALONE!...AND TELL EVERYONE MERRY CHRISTMAS, NOT HAPPY HOLIDAYS!...RE-POST IF YOU’RE NOT ASHAMED

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfzwas

guys i have a dark secret to share when i was in 7th grade i was the most horny kid in my class , as i was the most cutest kid teachers would often hug me when i did something cute or even notorious , these were the days when i was starting to feel the changes in my body, instead of developing feelings for the girls of my age , i developed feelings for older women, ONE DAY i saw my aunty bathing i don't know if it was an impulse or what but i started rubbing my privates i felt as if i'd peed but it wasn't. i started spying on her and used to even ask her to give a bath.
one day i couldn't take it anymore and started kissing her and woo her. WHAT i didn't know was that she was a pedo, she also had feelings for me that's why she didn't say anything about my erections while she used to bathe me. we got into the moment and i had "it" with her. my uncle used to work in the navy so we had all the time we needed. i used to sleep in her room every night and sometimes when we had the house alone to ourselves we use to do it in my parents bed.
all was well until i turned 13 and got her pregnant we kept the kid and everyone was happy that my uncle and aunt were expecting when i turned 20 my aunt divorced my uncle and we eloped with our 3 children oh you fucking pervert go get a life what the fuck you're still reading this incest shit get yourself treated man and the our lives were fucked. when i was 24 we had hit rock bottom we had no money left so we decided to drown our children and shoot ourselves , i think it was the best discissions we took

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfyx5x

Stalin was working at the café overnight while a cute slant eyed man walked in the café and ordered a large coffee, they talked about the great system of communism. Then Stalin got a little too comfortable with Xi Jinping and started to get close to him and started touching him weirdly.. Stalin leaped onto Xi Jinping and started rubbing his chest. Xi Jinping now horny, started dry humping Stalin. Stalin got off, and the 2 men went to the men's restroom.

There they had hardcore anal, Stalin's anus was teared apart, cum just dripping from head to toe. Those 2 men had phenomenal time inside the restroom, now drenched with cum, stuck inside the stall, making out, the 2 men fell asleep. Just to be found the next day by a working employee. The 2 men were sent to 6 years in jail for public nudity.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfxe06

Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfw8xx

i'l say just this: i agree that is my fault,
Ender could be the fault as well since
he revealed it to Kyrax, then Kyrax
revealed it to you and DJ, but let's not
put him in this. is mostly me, the only
reason i started doing pornography
was because i was
"bored" and despite
the fact I've never realized what would
happen if i make porn of my friend's
OCs, Ender was fine with it on the
other hand, but then I've started doing
lewd arts of you, but not only you,
there's people i will mention: SkyeDog
21 and his friends, LoyalMirror, Chunky
Items, DJ, Ender, Draco, Vector, Mr
and Mrs. Sharky, they we're the
victims of the pornography I've drawn,
but there was one problem, as you may
or may not know, Ender was the first
one to know i draw porn, and when i
draw porn of you and other's characters, he said he liked them, he
isn't the fault as well since he never
expected that Kyrax would reveal it to
you, but there's something i know. i
know Ender had this planned since last
year, and i do not want anyone of you
to be involved in my business ever
again, i may have Vector as a friend
again, but that will not mean i hate
him, and as i found out, you started
drawing porn as well, i understand
you're 18 now but you're not a full
adult, you need to at least be 21 years
old to be a respected adult, but why do
you do this? is it for fun? is it by the
same reason i started drawing porn?
because you we're bored just like i? i
know i am getting involved in your
decisions but idc if you draw porn or
not. you think i like your porn draws
because is what you think of what i
said? no, i do not like them. this is
something i wasn't expecting from you, and that is absolutely disgusting, and
idc if i keep losing friends, i've never
cared for them, not either you, either
Ender, or others. you guys are nothing
but useless fucks, people who think
that i don't exist, despite the fact i'm
young and y'all just hate me, let me ask
you a question, Mr.Briggs, do you like
seeing me suffer? do you?
if you said yes, I am sorry. But there is
no more way I can change, I mean.
Look at what all of you did, you and
your little gang want to fuck up my life
even more, but I'1 let you know
something, I will leave all of you alone,
but with one condition, I want you
guys to stay away from me as well.
And do not get involved in my
business you guys already won, what
you guys want to do now? Track my
location and murder me? Or what?
Destroy my phone and PC so I never
get to go to Discord? What a stupid thing. even more, but I'l let you know
something, I will leave all of you alone,
but with one condition, I want you
guys to stay away from me as well.
And do not get involved in my
business you guys already won, what
you guys want to do now? Track my
location and murder me? Or what?
Destroy my phone and PC so I never
get to go to Discord? What a stupid
thing eh, haha... yeah... is not funny
anymore... I still remember the fun
times I had with Ender for example,
like the portal video I did with him, the
horror stories I did with him and
others in VC one day, the RPs, the
CoD mobile gameplays we did... but
now I want one thing, I want all of you
gone of my sight for good, damage is
already done, so mine is
damage is done m8
stay away now.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfugkv

They are deserving of respect, you see. A vаgina is truly like that of the petals of a beautiful flower, ready to be pried open by the youthful eyes which beseek its fleshy and murky state, per se. It is a beauty which, hedonists such as I, seek to pursue in numerous ways. The sheep vagina in the picture may just be something to poke fun at, as Redditors tend to do… but to the real people who know what real womanhood is… they are astounded. Amazed by the beauty found in the ladies' sultry garden of mysteries… I simply cannot stop staring at this picture inside my mind, it’s as though I am mesmerized by it… It is a shame that such vivid and bright imagery goes unnoticed… something comparable to the gentleness of a cherry blossom, and as softly pink as a Sakura flower… something that floats away like a lily pad… that you pull towards yourself…yet it escapes again… the beauty of womanhood… I am not ashamed to say that my eyes have only blinked a quarter 3rd times whilst picturing this intrinsic… picture. I am compelled to print it out and store it with the rest of my collection, but sadly, I can't.
And apologies for any typos, truly…but my mind is in a state of lustful yet artful frenzy, right now… a truly powerful sexual-energy potent mixtures of sultry and restraint…

Now, whilst the entrancing tendrils of aromatic sexuality may slip betwixt your reasoning and your heart… I must say that I am ashamed. Ashamed to see just how oppressed the internet has begotten… so much so that one does not appreciate the beauty which lady nature bestows upon the fairer sex…
It is truly a rose. One which stands out in a garden of many… there are no thorns, and it urges for me to grasp it… grasp it and let it tickle the pads of my fingers…It is like sand which lies ever so calmly in the center of my palm… No matter how firmly, or gently I grasp it, it is still just sand… something that is malleable, yet, planted rigidly within the sets of our minds… I seek to grasp more sand, but it falls out… falls out and downwards into a mound… I want to gorge myself with the sand, but I know that the sand will not let me… but I must… I lust for the sand, absolutely truly lust for it and it might be against others' beliefs to go against what the sand wishes but I simply must pull its beautiful and abstract body against mine despite it not abiding by my own proper wishes to have it become one with me...

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rftozt

Why do people always say not my proudest fap when refering to really weird or bad porn. What's supposed to be your proudest fap then? When you came in 5 minutes from some vanilla porn? If you manage to get yourself off to some giantess pegging interacial porn you should be way more proud then if you only cum to a man and a woman have boring regular sex. It takes commitment, time and effort to get off to incest fishnet stockings vore porn. When you cum it feels like a real achievement, something to be proud of, but if you just cum to what everyone else is already watching then there's nothing to be proud of. You've done the bare minimum. Masturbating to furry reverse birth scat porn takes true effort just to stay hard. It trains your mental fortitude and teaches you to push on against all odds and when you finally orgasm it feels like you earned it. Now that's something to be proud of.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfsznc

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand).

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfre42

⠄⠄⠄⢰⣧⣼⣯⠄⣸⣠⣶⣶⣦⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⢀⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⠿⠿⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⢀⡅⢠⣾⣛⡉⠄⠄⠄⠸⢀⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⡋⣡⣴⣶⣶⡀⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣄⣀⣥⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⣠⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢀⢸⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⢀⣤⣄⠉⠋⣰ ⠄⣼⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⡷⠶⠶⢿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣤ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣥⣴⣿⡗ ⢀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄ ⢸⣿⣦⣌⣛⣻⣿⣿⣧⠙⠛⠛⡭⠅⠒⠦⠭⣭⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠈⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⠃⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣴⣿⣶⣄⠄⣴⣶⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠞⢿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣾⣦⡙⠻⣷⣾⣿⠃⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣥⣒⠲⢮⣝⡿⣿⣿⡆⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfpo2y

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfno16

I (21F) had a little fun after a night of drinking with a guy who i’ll call “Tim” (21M) who happens to be close friends with my roommate. Just to clarify, the 2 of them do not have any romantic interest in one another. Him and I have hooked up before but he’s not really someone i’m very interested in… it pretty much boils down to a drunken hookup and nothing more. Anyways, after we were done I got up to go to the bathroom and saw a stain on my sheets. I just said out loud without much thought oh I must’ve gotten my period (it had ended earlier that day and sometimes it’s normal for it to reappear I guess). and TOUCHED the spot. not sure what went through my head to do that. Tim responds “that’s not your period” and I honestly didn’t really know what that meant. While I was in the bathroom I realized it wasn’t my period and went to go wash my hands when I suddenly smelled something disgusting. To my dismay I look down and there is poop on my wrist and the back of my hand. I’m not good at staying calm usually- but I was so shocked I was unable to fabricate words.

I come back into my bedroom and all of the sheets are in my hamper. Again, silent with disbelief I double checked the bed to make sure it was clear and just laid down. We exchanged zero words. But as i’m laying in my bed with my body shoved as far into the corner as it can go with an extra blanket covering my face to mask the smell of a grown man who shit his pants, I ran though a few options:

1. ⁠ask him to leave immediately and wash my body and sheets profusely asap
2. ⁠get up without saying anything and sleep on my couch
3. ⁠do absolutely nothing and force myself to sleep until this situation goes away

I can’t believe i’m saying this but I was experiencing such bad second hand embarrassment that I chose option 3. It was painful to say the least. However, I woke up in the morning and he was gone.

Here’s where it gets worse…. I check my sheets in the hamper and obviously see the poop that I had encountered that night. But, I also see my beautiful white personalized pottery barn towels COVERED in shit. So I assume he wiped his poop ass all over them while I was in the bathroom. I posted this to my private snapchat with my very close friends and also found out he has done this to multiple people. A serial pooper. My roommate told me I shouldn’t tell people or ask him to pay for the sheets and towels he ruined but I feel really disrespected and violated and don’t see how I can ease my mind without confronting the situation. On the other hand, I understand he must feel embarrassed and the thought of having this conversation with someone is terrifying. Do I just forget and move on?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfn3nd

What's up you dumb retard go suck ur mommy's tit like the little baby you are dumbass go die in a fire then force your family to take the ashes and give them to the pigs to feast on and I say feast because of how extraordinarily HUGE you are 99% blubber 1% Mountain Dew stored in your disgusting body go cry to your mom with your sweat soaked underwear.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfmbzq