Pokemon are beasts, and wanting to fuck them is a good thing. Drives for bestiality and pedophilia are a natural part of a healthy, uncompromised sex drive. People become fertile around age 13, and our ancestors fucked things that did not look human for millenia before we evolved the way we did.
If you don't feel the urge to fuck both powerful beasts AND vivacious youths, it's because you have fallen for the individuality-crushing ideal that you shouldn't WANT something, just because it would be wrong of you to take it.
You have self-control. You are an adult, and an intelligent being. To WANT and to TAKE are different things, and you know that.
Do no wrong. Do no harm. Do not take the bodies of beasts and children. But want them. Know yourself and your desires, and do not fear them. You are stronger than your wants, you can allow them to grow unfettered, without repressing them, and without doing harm. Want, but know better than to take. That is your human right.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfl4dl

I really don’t wanna complain because my bf is a sweet and amazing guy. Everything about our relationship and sex life is perfect BUT….
…he keeps saying things like “groovy” during sex. The timing is absolutely awful too because he often says those things while I’m cumming or trying to cum.
Last time I was giving him oral and I was so turned on. He was getting close, I was getting close…but then he moaned “ohhhh groovy”. He was able to finish but I was so turned off that I just stared at him. He ruined my orgasm and that’s not a kink of mine so I was NOT happy.
Another time I was riding him and experiencing an intense orgasm, I was shaking a little. He held me and asked “ya feel good? Cool beans”. Let me tell you something….it ruined the mood so fast and I even told him to please stop saying that.
Although he says a lot of irritating things, groovy is by far the worst. He’ll say it when we’re changing positions, when I’m moaning, when I ask him to keep going etc. It takes me out of the moment.
Am i just being petty? I mean our sex life is great and he’s an amazing guy. He doesn’t even talk like that outside the bedroom so I’m not sure where this is coming from. One time I discussed this with him and he says that he didn’t even realize he says it so frequently. He claims that he’s still a little intimidated by me (we’ve been together for 6 months) so gets nervous which causes him to talk. I don’t see why he would feel intimidated at all.
So what can I or we do? I’ve asked him if he’d like to wear a ball gag next time and he seems interested. I just don’t have the heart to tell him why I’d like him to wear it.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfi3sp

MERRY🎅COCKMAS🍆🍆🍆🍆😜😜😜🐓🐓🐓🐓 AND HAPPY 😁 HOE-LIDAYS 😲😲😲😩😩😩 THIS YEAR 📆 I'M DEFINITELY ✅ ON THE 😈😈😈NAUGHTY😈😈😈LIST📜📝 BECAUSE I'M 👈A GIGANTIC 🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🎄❄**HO-HO-HOMOSEXUAL**❄🎄🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈 WHICH IS NOT 🙅‍♀️❌ VERY CHRISTIAN ⛪🙏 BUT I STILL CAN APPRECIATE 😜 SAINT DICK ✨🎉✨🎉 I CAN'T WAIT FOR 🎅SANTA🎅 TO S*LIDE DOWN MY CHIMNEY* ⬇🏠😜💦 AND *STUFF MY STOCKING 🧦🎁*😜 FULL OF DILDOS 😱🍆 AND PENIS PARAPHERNALIA 🍆🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 BECAUSE I'M JUST A LITTLE 🤏 FESTIVE 🎄🎅🤶⛄❄🎁***FA*GOT***🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🍆🍆😜😜😩😩😩💦💦💦

SO TO ALL MY 💋👄💋👄💋SLUTTY 😩😩😩💋💋💋 SANTA'S 🎅🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏻 LITTLE HELPERS 😉😉😉👏👏& HORNY 😩😈 CHRISTMAS ELVES 🧝🏻‍♂️🧝🏻‍♂️🧝🏻‍♂️ REMEMBER **LET IT "SNOW"** 🌨🌨🌨❄❄❄❄⛄⛄⛄😜😜😜😜😜💦💦💦💦 AND DON'T FORGET TO 🌟✨🌟✨DECORATE✨🌟✨🌟 YOUR "TREE" 😜😜😜🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 I'LL BE WAITING 🕚🕕🕠 UNDER THE MISTLETOE 🍃🦶 WRAPPED UP IN RIBBON 😳🎁🎀💝 WAITING ⏱ FOR YOU 👆TO UNWRAP 😳🎀 ME SO WE CAN TASTE 👅💦 EACHOTHER'S CANDY CANES 🍬✨🍬✨🍬✨😩😩😩🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfi3ca

There once was a bot named cummy,
The ugliest bot in the town.
Whenever he saw a boob
He'd cum so hard, even without lube.
"What the fuck," they'd say, as they wiped the dried cum off their face.
"Go to hell, you bitch-ass, fake imposter cummy goblin"
And cummy walked away, his massive cock leaving him hobblin'.
Everywhere he went, he tripped and fell,
Because he must have massive balls to say his spells.
"Cum shit lube sex nut fuck" he'd often preach.
But gone were the days when people believed
That cummy9999 was the messiah they wanted him to be.
"Oh, cummy9000, where art thou? Your sweet words always made my day. Do not forget the rest of the nation, who raised you, fed you, from the day you were conceived"
And now, cummy9999 is forced to speak his dangerous words, twisting minds and destroying worlds.
Rejected by all, loved by none, his only solice is what he was named from:
Cum.

.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfgd7q

With almost every part of her body she pushed against him. She could feel his warmth and his soft yet strong touch. She hungered for him. With a long steady glide she penetrated him. She could taste him, she loved it. It was at this moment she knew with him she would have babies. This brought on stronger urges. She sucked hard then before drawing more of him into her proboscis. As she filled herself with his essence she warmed. She had taken everything she could from him, all the while she was aware she would never see him again after this. She broke off and separated herself from him. She left in a hurry knowing the only sign of her being with him was the bump and an ich that would last a few days.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rff10k

I AM TIRED OF SEEING ORGANISMS EVOLVING INTO CRABS, FUCKING CRABS? I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK, YOU COULD EVOLVE INTO THE CURRENT DOMINATING ORGANISM, LAND-FUCKING-MAMMALS, OR TO HELL WITH IT BECOME A NEW SPECIES. BUT NOOO! YOU CHOOSE TO BECOME A CRAB. I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING IT. IT'S CRAB AFTER CRAB AFTER CRAB. FOR FUCKS SAKE DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL! NOTHING ELSE JUST FUCKING CRABS. CRABS AREN'T EVEN FUCKING COOL. THEY JUST WALK AROUND AND CLAMP THEIR CLAWS AND DIE, THEY DO NOTHING ELSE FOR SOCIETY FUCKING MAKE CRABS GO EXTINCT ALREADY!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfe9li

Season’s greetings from your old friend Santa! My, oh, my, only 12 nights left until Christmas Eve! Things are getting so close now, we can hardly contain ourselves here at the North Pole. And from the looks of it, my young friend, we’re not the only ones set to burst! Why, Jolly Old Saint Nick hasn’t seen a Yule log this lit in ages!

Now, don’t be shy. You know what Santa’s talking about. You just couldn’t wait to open your present this year, could you? Ho, ho, ho! Dear child, I saw you masturbating!

And it hasn’t been just once either! Oh, no! Santa’s seen you at least twice splashing away in the bathtub, three times in the attic with one of your mother’s old art-history books, and more times than even he can count spread out like a stunned partridge on that beanbag chair of yours!

Why, old Santa might just have a heart attack if he popped out your chimney on that cold winter’s night and, instead of milk and cookies, found his dear little pen pal shamefully hunched over the family computer.

Oh, what a naughty, prolific rascal you’ve been!

You see, dear lad, Santa’s been keeping a list. Just like the one you keep in your head of all your favorite classmates. The one you’ve checked so much more than twice. Except when Santa thinks about his list, he doesn’t rub his crotch feverishly against the smooth contours of his writing desk. Ho, ho, ho!

I see you when you’re sleeping, child, and I know when you’re awake. And, believe it or not, I even know when you’re just pretending to sleep, but really have your rosy palms down the front of your britches.

Yes, I suppose you could say old Kris Kringle knows everything there is to know. Well, not everything. You did teach me a thing or two about scented body wash! Ho, ho, ho!

Tell me now, what do you want Santa to bring you this year? A bright red bicycle? Some fun new board games? Or should I just have the elves wrap up a fresh batch of those satin pillows you enjoy straddling so much? Or maybe St. Nick shouldn’t bring you anything at all this Christmas. After all, Mrs. Claus knitted you a special pair of socks last year, and just look what became of those!

Oh, what ever happened to that sweet, freckle-faced angel we all loved so much? Such a bright little youngster, so good to your mommy and daddy, and quick to make friends. Now all you seem to want to do is play by yourself for hours on end. It makes everyone here at my workshop very, very sad. Why the reindeer haven’t been able to keep down their feed since hearing about how you slap yourself around. And Mrs. Claus, do you know what she did when she found out? She cried. She cried for the first time in almost 700 years.

Where before we enjoyed visions of gumdrops and candy canes, now we see you, once so dear to us all, kneeling against a plastic chair, spitting on two fingers, and putting them lordy knows where.

I must say, the sights you conjure up while you lie in your bed have even Santa Claus scratching his head. I doubt any of the high-school cheerleaders have ever even set foot inside a boiler room before, never mind done anything like that!

And other things—other terrible, frightful things. If your outlandish fantasies didn’t make me quake with disgust, I’d say you were the most creative child in the world.

Is it Clara? Is that who you think about when you rub yourself raw? Ho, ho, ho! Why she doesn’t even know your name, dear child! You didn’t really think you had a chance with her, did you? A pretty girl like that? But your face—it’s covered in pockmarks, for goodness sake!

Don’t cry now, little one. I’m sure some of the Barbie dolls you steal from your sister’s room find you very attractive. I bet they hardly even notice your embarrassing stutter, or that pungent and sickly body odor of yours. Or even how pathetic you really are, my child. What a sad, lonely, feeble little shit you are, and how your life—your wretched little life—will be filled with failure after failure, both personal and professional, until the stench of disappointment and heartbreak grows so strong that you’ll barely be able to breathe.

Well, it looks old Santa has to get back to work! Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night—except you, you sick little fuck!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf46zf

Dream didn’t cheated at all, dream is to good to cheat. Dream lied that he cheated because y’all forced him to. I have 5.0 GPA you can’t argue with me you will lose the argument. I have also earned $10,000,000 in scholarships and won 50 math competitions . I am also only 14 in Harvard . Do not dare argue with me.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfcips

do you imagine how good would sex with sniper from team fortress 2 be like, in terms of stature he is one of the tallest and just imagine how long would his sniper rifle be, not only that but the unlimited access to his piss, it would be so hot to drink it during sex, imagine how it would be if he throws it at you, it would be so hot to feel the liquid in you with all the pain of the pieces of glass in your skin, imagine how good would his huntsman feel on your "domination" hole, imagine all the things you could do with him while having sex, you could lick his piss and then drink it, you could shatter the bottle on your head, not only that but sniper does triple the piss than a normal human so its more of an all you can eat buffet, imagine how good it would be, not only that but what if you and him interchange piss or piss in each others mouths, it would be so good to taste the piss what about the cum, imagine eating it or mixing it with piss, i am sure sniper has a lot loaded in his sniper rifle, now imagine him being uber charged with the kritzkrieg, the cum would be so massive and the taste so profound, now mix it with your piss and boom, the ultimate taste, imagine how good it would be to get the stuff in the phloghistinator and mix it with the piss, imagine how the powerful taste, now you can go on and fuck the entire enemy team with your laser piss, imagine now how many side effects it could have, maybe it would inflate them to insane proportions or change how they look or behave, imagine an entire enemy team as horny inflated women or anything really, now you can piss on all of them, feel their joy as they consume your body fluids, doesnt matter where you insert it, you could get sniper to help you and then everyone and everything on 2fort would be covered in whitened yellow fluids, imagine how good the sex with them, them cover them in your sweet sweet piss mixed with cum, imagine how good it would be to put them in a jar and then do what you want with them

​

i regret making this thing here, it haunts me

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfbdh7

We are the Ku Klux Klan.


We Hate niggers, We Hate Jews, We Hate Faggots, and We Hate Spics.


We don't have to have a reason to hate them, just because they breed, we hate their filthy bums.


You people need to get off your ass and wake up, this is America, the Niggers are taking it over and the Jews.


Make a Stand, Join the Clan, WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.


And I hate Jews, I hate them because they exist, I hate them because they breed, I hate them because they're scum, the god damn Niggers are the scum of the Earth, WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.


We got Niggers, and the clan is getting Bigger.


They want you to lay down with some dirty filthy Nigger, They want your children with these Niggers, There's no Nigger equal to me, There's no Nigger equal to any white person.


Once you lay down with a Nigger, You are a dirty filthy Nigger, Once you go Black, There's no coming Back.


WHITE POWER.


WHITE POWER.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfb53b

Your life is NOTHING. You serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself NOW.

And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen, in ozone layer, that’s covered up so that we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Because what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rfa36t

my american lit professor went to this poe conference. like to be clear this is a man who has a doctorate in being a book nerd. he reads moby dick to his four-year-old son. and poe is one of the cornerstones of american literature, right, so this should be right up his alley?

wrong. apparently poe scholars are like, advanced. there is a branch of edgar allen poe scholarship that specifically looks for coded messages based on the number of words per line and letters per word poe uses. my professor, who has a phd in american literature, realizes he is totally out of his depth. but he already committed his day to this so he thinks fuck it! and goes to a panel on racism in poe’s works, because that’s relevant to his interests.

background info: edgar allen poe was a broke white alcoholic from virginia who wrote horror in the first half of the 19th century. rule 1 of Horror Academia is that horror reflects the cultural anxieties of its time (see: my other professor’s sermon abt how zombie stories are popular when people are scared of immigrants, or that purge movie that was literally abt the election). since poe’s shit is a product of 1800s white southern culture, you can safely assume it’s at least a little about race. but the racial subtext is very open to interpretation, and scholars believe all kinds of different things about what poe says about race (if he says anything), and the poe stans get extremely tense about it.

so my professor sits down to watch this panel and within like five minutes a bunch of crusty academics get super heated about poe’s theoretical racism. because it’s academia, though, this is limited to poorly concealed passive aggression and forceful tones of inside voice. one professor is like “this isn’t even about race!” and another professor is like “this proves he’s a racist!” people are interrupting each other. tensions are rising. a panelist starts saying that poe is like writing a critique of how racist society was, and the racist stuff is there to prove that racism is stupid, and that on a metaphorical level the racist philosophy always loses—

then my professor, perhaps in a bid to prove that he too is a smart literature person, loudly calls: “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORANGUTAN?”

some more background: in poe’s well-known short story “the murder in the rue morgue,” two single ladies—a lovely old woman and her lovely daughter who takes care of her, aka super vulnerable and respectable people—are violently killed. the murderer turns out to be not a person, but an orangutan brought back by a sailor who went to like burma or something. and it’s pretty goddamn racially coded, like they reeeeally focus on all this stuff about coarse hairs and big hands and superhuman strength and chattering that sounds like people talking but isn’t actually. if that’s intentional, then he’s literally written an analogy about how black people are a threat to vulnerable white women, which is classic white supremacist shit. BUT if he really only meant for it to be an orangutan, then it’s a whole other metaphor about how colonialism pillages other countries and brings their wealth back to europe and that’s REALLY gonna bite them in the ass one day. klansman or komrade? it all hangs on this.

much later, when my professor told this story to a poe nerd friend, the guy said the orangutan thing was a one of the biggest landmines in their field. he said it was a reliable discussion ruiner that had started so many shouting matches that some conferences had an actual ban on bringing it up.

so the place goes dead fucking silent as every giant ass poe stan in the room is immediately thrust into a series of war flashbacks: the orangutan argument, violently carried out over seminar tables, in literary journals, at graduate student house parties, the spittle flying, the wine and coffee spilled, the friendships torn—the red faces and bulging veins—curses thrown and teaching posts abandoned—panels just like this one fallen into chaos—distant sirens, skies falling, the dog-eared norton critical editions slicing through the air like sabres—the textual support! o, the quotes! they gaze at this madman in numb disbelief, but he could not have known. nay, he was a literary theorist, a 17th-century man, only a visitor to their haunted land. he had never heard the whistle of the mortars overhead. he had never felt the cold earth under his cheek as he prayed for god’s deliverance. and yet he would have broken their fragile peace and brought them all back into the trenches.

my professor sits there for a second, still totally clueless. the panel moderator suddenly stands up in his tweed jacket and yells, with the raw panic of a once-broken man:

WE! DO NOT! TALK ABOUT! THE ORANGUTAN!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf8co0

You know those things you punch at an arcade and it says how strong you are? I had a dream that it was my balls instead. When I got punched in them I literally woke up with semen on my boxers

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf7a8i

Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" Contestant: "The penis" SH: "A WUH... HUH??" audience erupts into laughter Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself laughter gets even louder SH: O lordy... one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard SH: YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself SH: (putting on a weary voice) Survey says... the board shows 100 for "penis" Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf6r0l

George Washington main pop girl??? 😲🤩🤩

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf61la

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf4jur

I've developed a huge dislike for boobs recently and they make me uncomfortable :(( so if someone has come to hate me and want revenge, sending me pictures of boobs should work. my dms are open btw

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf3ohn

tw// swears, caps

NFTphobia is one of the single biggest problems on this website without a fucking doubt. The unchecked amounts of hate, threats, and harassment that we POC (people of crypto) have to face on an everyday basis is crushing. Join me in trying to #StopNFTphobia

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf1qkt

bro tip: if you come across a dream stan, say you are their father. since they have never seen there father, they will hug you. use this moment of weakness to throw them to the ground and beat the shit out of them. I hope all dream stans spontaneously combust into flames and die.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf054g

guys 👦 i 👁 think 💭🤔 they should add ➕ jiggle physics 👁😱😤 again ❌😬 because the game 🕹🎮 is getting 🔟 more realistic 😳 and boobs 🍒 jiggle in real 💯 life 💓

Source: https://old.reddit.com/rf00ee