I don't give two shits if this post offends you. I don't care if you think I'm a golddigger, or ridiculous for demanding what every woman deserves.

I refuse to accept anything less than an expensive conflict free diamond ring. Those are my standards; I don't care about yours.

I refuse to accept any less because of the following:

- If a ring is a piece of jewellery I'll be wearing for the rest of my life, a minimum 10k investment isn't insane in the grand scheme of things.

- If a man is expecting me to carry his child and go through the painful process of pregnancy, the least he can do is show me how much he truly values me.

- If a man is expecting me to do emotional labor for him and spend the rest of my life with him being his support system, a beautiful ring is a small ask.

- Men know that diamond rings are also a way to posture to other men on the fact they can take care of their partners by providing an expensive ring. When he sees other men looking at my ring, he wants the other men to know that I'm well taken care of and that he truly loves me.

- If a man can afford a gaming system, expensive trips, and nights out "with the boys", he can afford a piece of jewellery that I would wear for the rest of my life.

- A ring has little resale value, I know that. But if things were to go south, having a piece of jewellery that I would be able to sell for some money would be useful, especially if I was the mother of his children.

I refuse to accept a moissanite without prior consultation from my partner first. Yes, I know that moissanites are quite beautiful and are the fraction of the cost of a real diamond but getting me a moissanite and then explicitly telling me that it's in fact, a real diamond, is laughable.

I see lots of women posturing to other women about their fake wealth and their "3 carat" diamonds, when in fact, its a moissanite. A lot of these women truly believe that their partner got them a diamond, because that's what he told them it was. Not only did their partners lie to them, but they're making their future wives look like laughing stocks in front of other women with false knowledge of what the stone truly is, its value, and a poor attempt at appearing wealthy. Some other subreddits are filled with women like this. Their proposal was based on a lie.

With this ring, I expect a beautiful proposal. Something thoughtful and meaningful and was prepared for months. Asking someone to marry you is a massive deal, so if a man puts little thought into this and doesn't really care about what the woman answers with, then he is truly LV.

I also know that lots of LV men will propose with expensive, over the top rings in order to trap you and keep you in the cycle of narcissistic abuse. This post applies to the man I decide to be with forever who I've vetted ruthlessly for a long period of time.

I know I'll get a lot of flack from broke af scrotes in the comments and pickme's who think the bare minimum ($100 ring) from Walmart is enough. IDGAF if your LV partner proposed to you with a $100 ring from Walmart. Personally, I want to be with someone who truly values me and values the relationship. Remember that we always value the things we pay for/buy. I'm not down for struggle love.

Never ever reduce your standards in fear of offending people. Your standards are valid, and you truly deserve what you want. Never settle just because society tells you that you should accept the bare minimum.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r67d31

I can't take it anymore! I see an object, then I see it, I fucking see it. "Oh that kinda looks like the grunt from Madness". It started as. That's funny, that's a cool reference. But I kept going, I'd see a math equation that looks like madness, the fucking word Nevada reminds me of madness combat, A person holding a stop sign??!?! WTF??! I THOUGHT THAT WAS TRICKY THE CLOWN FOR A SECOND!!! The word "madness" is ruined, so is "Nevada" and "clown". I seriously can't look at a plus sign and not say! THIS IS MADNESS. The Bible? I didn't even see Jesus's legendary fight with the auditor. One time I got punched by a bully. While the whole squad was laughing, I got right back up and said!! YOU DON'T KILL CLOWN!! CLOWN KILLS YOU!!. When someone killed a ladybug, it shed yellow blood. I said, HAHA HANK KILLED AN ATP ENGINEER HAHAHAHA, when someone smokes, I smack them silly until they die. I can't live normally anymore. PLEASE MADNESS GO AWAY!!!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r65r9i

It's about rice, it's about flour

We stay hungry, we devour,

Put in the gains, work for those grains, and take what's ours

sweat and tears in my veins, my culture bangin' with fields

I change the yields so what's my motherfuckin' name?

**Wok**

what are we going to get through?

wheat, cereal, if you wanna bring it to the masses

oats to boats now we sailin' fast when I have to put boot to grasses

hungry on ya like a tummy, when I'm rumblin',

you're gonna scream "breakfast"

so bring crops to the grass tops

comin' at ya with diverse restaurants

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r64sfb

Fuck this stupid fucking book. Holy shit. If I could go back in time and choose something else to read for this stupid fucking class, you bet your ass I would. In fifty years, when I am finished serving my fifth term as president (I will amend the Constitution) I am going to create a time machine with Steven Hawking’s reanimated corpse and turn back the clock to 2021. Then I am going to choose a different book to read in my AP Literature & Composition class. Not only this, but I will find a very fancy suit and time travel to 1812 and blend in with all of the ugly fucking British people who shit and pissed in the streets. I will bring my laser pistol and fucking disintegrate Jane Austen before she is ever able to publish her stupid fucking book. I will then hunt down her publisher and burn their building to the ground. If they fuck with me, their children are next. Jack the Ripper will shit his tiny little pants, the little shitface dogfucker. He will fear me. I will haunt his fucking dreams. I will then travel back to the present (being the 2070s) and for my sixth re-election campaign as president, use my Power of Recognition and Bragging Rights (these are AP American Government terms. When I became president I personally handed my AP American Government teacher the Presidential Medal of Honor. He is The Godfather of my five beautiful children (two boys, three girls, all the same mother (I am very loyal to my wife))) and tell the world that I fucking assassinated Jane Austen. I recorded that shit on my iPhone 4 (I never upgraded, I remained on that grindset) and uploaded it to BestGore. My wife fucking leaves me and gains custody of the kids all because I confessed to first-degree murder and the use of necromancy. Oh well, though. That’s okay because I was able to change the world for the better (by murdering Jane Austen with a futuristic laser pistol) and made sure that there will never be an AP Literature & Composition student who has to suffer through Pride and Prejudice ever again.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r63zo6

I've been friends with Ian for a long time. His wife and I also get along, though we're not particularly close.

It was Ian's birthday a few weeks ago and I decided to make it really special for him. His wife is flat chested and I'm rather busty. In the past he's expressed to me that he's never experienced a woman with large breasts before. So when it came time for his birthday, I wore my cutest outfit and went over to his house. I gave him a titfuck and let him finish on my chest. He was so happy and said he thought he'd never had the chance to do something like that and thanked me profusely. It really meant nothing and was just fun between friends.

Anyways his wife found out about it and now she's pissed. How can I fix this?

Tldr; I gave my friend a sexual present and his wife is mad.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r6280z

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r612xm

I've read that PETA is making a lineup of rather provocative jackets (made out of human skin). I've got to admit that I was skeptical at first, but they look completely badass! Where can I find the jacket on the store? I searched for: [shop.peta.org/catalogsearch/result/?q=Human+skin](https://shop.peta.org/catalogsearch/result/?q=Human+skin)

Thanks in advance!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5zadb

Right now I'm really stressed in life and barely have free time. But destiny 2 is always there, waiting on my ps5. Only firing up a strike and hearing the hillarious dialogue while shooting with the amazing mechanics makes me feel better. The lore is amazing and I love it. I play every night a match of crucible to chill out with my mates and do bounties. Thank you, Bungie. I mean it. And thanks to everybody in this community who was kind enough to help me as a new light.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5ymkq

As someone who has been in college for a while but a transfer student, this class is a waste of time and more of a time waster/GPA lower. I have a life outside of school and this class asks for more of my time than any class I've taken. "Professors" need to realize not everyone in this course are full time students without kids, families, or a job outside of school. On top of what I submitted not being enough explanation. My submission explained what was asked, but wasn't accepted because I didn't put enough words. I answered the question. I shouldn't have to add fluff. The real world asks for results not fluff. Classes like this make me see college as a joke considering I already have a career in the major I'm focusing for my degree.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5x2sw

Of all the heinous crimes out there, being Bri-ish is the worst (the word Bri-ish is censored because it's so repugnant). Those mouth breathing, tonsil curling, tea sucking, knife stabbing miscreants are good for nothing warts on the face of the earth. If the entire cursed island of misery that is En-land were to disappear tomorrow literally no one would notice. Thank you for reading my post have a nice day! (Unless if you are Bri-ish)

Edit: The Bri-ish "people" found my post and are now downvoting it.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5wgjz

This is infuriating me more than anything else in this game. I don’t even get mad when I get teabagged, I love it because it’s hilarious. However if you’re going to teabag, I expect you to drag your nuts all over my face. None of this bullshit crouch spamming where your knees barely bend 10 degrees. Get your ass down and bury your gonads down my throat, throw in a few melees as well.

The old heads do it right, you young bucks don’t know.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5ujx0

I was in bed this morning when my friend sent me a funny meme about drunk driving and I decided, right then and there, to write an entire copypasta about drunk driving. We both laughed at it a lot and I thought to myself, "hmm, maybe I should post this to the r/copypasta subreddit" because then I would be able to share it with a larger community of people who would enjoy it. But then I look down at the rules section and there stands... rule 4. what the fuck. this wasn't here the last time I was on the subreddit. Why is it there now? Did the mods know I was going to try and post something cheeky and put it in there before I could? Am I being censored right now? MY RIGHTS ARE BEING VIOLATED! It's an understatement to say that I'm fuming right now. Steam is coming out of my ears. I am balls to the walls mad right now. These slimy mods think they can do WHATEVER they want around here simply because they have the stupid fucking shield next to their name. I DESERVE my first amendment rights as a natural-born U.S. citizen. Literally 1984. I will do everything in my ability to put the power back in the people's hands and restore this sub back to what it once was. Just you wait.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5ti1u

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he’s in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he’s got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD’S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I’m overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. “Bhurr blur, I’m Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs”. Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he’s sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That’s the worst part. I know he’s just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children’s movie, I know it doesn’t matter, I know I shouldn’t care. But that’s part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world’s array of sinners, and I can’t even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity’s saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It’s EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it’s disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5rl97

Thank you for failing my test. My Boyfriend is conducting a study on toxic men and how they get really defensive when asked about their height and tend to try to offend women by asking about commonly known insecurities in women, like weight or degrading them by asking about their chest size (that's what you did). Thank you for being apart of the examples on what not to do. I hope you become less toxic on day. 😊

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5qdft

I've seen some furry/scalie artwork where characters with sharp teeth or even beaks "give head". Wouldnt that be extremely uncomfortable? Receiving oral from something with razorsharp teeth or a hard, lipless beak cant feel pleasant.

Also, another reason Im asking is that one day I might write a saucy fanfic with my original characters who are shark-human hybrids with sharklike teeth.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5phbd

It's great to be American. After being awoken today by the sound of gunshots, I army crawled into the kitchen to make breakfast like I always do. I turned on the news (only sound now because of all the bullet holes in the screen) and the weatherman said to expect 3-5 inches of lead today. Great, that's less than usual. I grabbed a fresh gun out of the cabinet and began to eat my cereal with the spoon attachment that the lax laws in the US allow me to have, but first, I notice my neighbor is outside! We exchange pleasantries and fire. I can hear a heavy machine gun rattling off a few houses down. "Sounds like Jim's got the .50 Cal out." I say.

"Yep", replies my neighbor, "he always trims the hedges on Friday. God bless him and America" we give each other parting shots as we dive into the trenches that lead back into our bullet-riddled home. Out in front I can hear a cop killing someone's dog. Which is strange because usually by this time of day theyve already shot everyone's dogs. Ah well, I just hope today isn't another "designated workplace shooting day" at work. I need to go to Walmart and pick up some more ammo.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5ne55

May Allah curse all slavs, I go on Rising Storm 2 Territories game to play with some friends and I see retarded Ukranians playing serbian songs (while serbs fighted for russians) on voice chat, may Allah also curse Russians, they like Ukrainians brought nothing to this world but trouble. May Allah curse all the people who shill for slavs and may pan-slavism die. Amin.


My prayer to Allah (SWT):
Oh mighty Allah may you curse the slavs,
Hang them and kill them make them not walk,
Oh mighty Allah may you take my word,
Killing slavs is the way,
The way to glorify our holy days,
Holy days of killing slavs and remembering the mighty one,
Oh my brothers the time will come when we sacrifice to kill the last slav.
Amin.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5mzfd

It all started when we were joking about 30 billion spongebob vs. Goku, then I just made a very bad joke and one got offended and said to me "I hope you get gangbanged by 30 billion spongebobs", then I responded by sending a photo of Koishi and saying "Imagine Koishi as a tentacle monster, She'll do bad things on your ass". Then the other one joined and said "Nah, they're both weak, what about Shaggy fucking everyone instead". The topic goes on and on until I panicked and said in all caps "KOISHI'S GONNA FUCK US UP!!!", everyone lol'ed

After a long silence in the chat, one of my friend used Koishi as his phone's wallpaper then after 5 minutes he fapped to Koishi, he said "I lose, I didn't mean to fap to her", I responded "HAHA! Koishi just controlled your subconscious to make you lose NNN". He got mad and tried to pull everyone with him, and everything went into hell and just like a domino effect we fapped one by one, Im the last one to fap, I didn't feel or think anything I just stared blankly at my ceiling while fapping, as if it was like Koishi controlling my subconsciousness to fap. Its so devastating that after I fapped I got cold. Now I dont feel very well.

Damn Koishi controlled our subconciousness to lose the last day of NNN

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5lo5n

The Excalibur of Balls
You first grab the razor and instantly know you’re a warrior that wielded his weapon for the first time. You’re empowered and ready for war. You close in on your downstairs mixup, nervous but full of adrenaline, ready for what lies a head. All of the sudden the headlight of the razor shines brightly on your forest and your hair stares back at you like a deer in the headlights, you, staring right back, ready to conquer this task like a hunter pursuing it’s pretty. The overly satisfying clipping sound, wacking away like a wild lumber jack freely cutting down the thick forest in preparation for winter. You exist the shower and slap on some of their fine lotion, feeling like a hairless stallion running freely in a Spring breeze. Your downstairs mixup is now a symphony of fresh masculinity. The only thing missing from this razor is a small speaker that whispers to you gently “your welcome” after a successful man-scaping session. Well done, Manscaped. Well done.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5l0rn

Thou wishest me to join with thee?

I see...

\>The monster is thinking deeply.

Comply with my desire.

Offer me 10 gold coins.

\>You give the monster 10 gold coins.

O wearisome robber baron, nay... NAY, 'tis not enough!

I require 3 gold coins.

\>You give the monster 3 gold coins.

My decision wavereth...

\>The mosnter is unable to decide.

\>You tried nagging the monster.

Begone, prating knave!

\>There was no effect.

More, I say! Empty thy pockets as thou hast emptied my patience!

I require 6 gold coins.

\>You give the monster 6 gold coins.

\>The monster has clammed up.

Leave my sight, wench! Thou hast humored me long enough.

\>The monster left.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r5jstl