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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
Fuck u
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Fuck you.

Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r13q7a
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[ Removed by Reddit ]
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[ Removed by reddit on account of violating the content policy]

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r13i0o
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PCP Overdose
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Wobba wobba fooba schlEEb

I jobbruhhh on mefujkklets ehehheh SCHWING@@!!!!! Mofosolochokletahhahaghagggagonabigunblahhhhh Eeehooonk eeeeehonk eeeeehonk brrrrrrrrrrrrr,rrrrrrrrrrr,rrrrr ka-Chink! Skrrrblickitywickity BLEEEEEEE*dies*

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r11y37
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Somebody felt the need to write this in r/waifuism
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Disclaimer here: I am 16 years old, about to be 17 on November 20th, at the time of writing this. I am in no way shape or form a pedophile. Peni, if she aged chronologically with me, would be 17 years old at the time of writing this. I was 14 years old back in 2017 when the movie starring her first released, and she was 14. If her birthday was somewhere around August 27th(which is around the time OG Peter Parker was born), then she would be approximately 3 months older than me. I, and I repeat this with goddamn emphasis, AM NOT A PEDOPHILE.



Thank yall for your understanding.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r11qj7
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copypasta for someone who's fucked with you one too many times
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I hope you rot, \[NAME\]. You're a disgrace to humanity, as well as a liar, a thief, a hypocrite, a murderer, an adulterer, a slanderer, and a monger. The earth has hidden her darkened, blemished face from the rest of the universe, weeping into her lapel because of the ugly rash on her cheek that is you. You motherfucker. You've far outlived your only purpose for ever having been alive, and that was to give your mother as many tormenting, unbearable labor pains for ever having even conceived you in her womb. Her anguished, tortured cries as she pushed you out, your dirty, jagged claws digging into the sides of her flesh, was the only oasis of relief in the desert of pain and misery for the doctors and nurses that was delivering you. I hope they died violently and painfully after they saw your deformed, ugly face that could make the most hideous of orcs scream for delivering you into this accursed mortal coil. I hope your mother died very slowly and torturously for conceiving you into this godforsaken realm of existence. You piece of shit. God created every person except for you, because you were created by the multiversal forces of evil that even God could never control, and when he saw your withered, beyond-demonic corpse of a body, he died of horror and shock, and Satan took over the world. Then he took one look at you, and fled with absolute terror and fear, because he knew that even he, the literal personification of darkness and everything wrong with everything *ever* couldn't control the vile wart of atrociousness that is you. You were locked away before you were born because it was known that you were more evil and destructive than anything ever created in the existence of everything that has ever existed, past, present, future, or any other plane of time that our feeble human minds could not possibly comprehend. But no, you absolute dickheaded monkey-ass. **YOU MISERABLE SON OF A BITCH CUNT WHORE!!!** You were *determined* to bring tenfold more misery and suffering onto a race that nobody else could ever bring even the tiniest, most fucking insignificant droplet of misery or suffering or any other form of pain in any form of the universe onto, because you were, are, and *always will be* pure fucking evil. I curse and purely detest anyone who even so much as thinks the teeniest thought that you could ever, in any way, shape, or form, be redeemed by anything. You cannot. YOU CANNOT. I hope you rot in a place so terrible, even a place whose torture Hell couldn't comprehend couldn't comprehend its torture. I hope both sides of every pillow you ever lay your head on are warm, and that no matter where you step, you will stub every toe and get a thousand splinters. I hope your crotch gets hit at force going 900 miles an hour twice daily, so that you may feel a tiny, tiny fraction of the pain and suffering you bring onto the human race every quarter of a nanosecond just for existing, you utter piece of human trash.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r10eht
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This Cube Cured my Mortality
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All the people here who bought this wireless tungsten cube to admire its surreal heft have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, bought this cube to become fully accustomed to the intensity of its density, to make its weight bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. And it has worked, to profound success. I have carried the tungsten with me, have grown attached to the downward pull of its small form, its desire to be one with the floor. This force has become so normal to me that lifting any other object now feels like lifting cotton candy, or a fluffy pillow. Big burly manly men who pump iron now seem to me as little children who raise mere aluminum.

I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of tungsten. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent heaviness of everyday objects. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of tungsten, their shoulders thin and unempowered by the experience of bearing tungsten. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion.

Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a tungsten cube can bear any object less dense, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary.

Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Tungsten expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of increased density, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a light and airy quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions?

Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary metal. In this metal is the alchemical potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet held the cube in their hands and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of normal density, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the density of tungsten will shift their expectations of weight and density accordingly.

To give this cube a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most compact of all affordable materials? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this universe: good job on the tungsten. It sure is dense.

I sit here with my tungsten cube, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this tungsten cube will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0zz5d
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this has probably been put here 100 times already, but…
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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0yvr4
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bizarre porn subs
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[r/aeromorph](https://www.reddit.com/r/aeromorph/) [r/insex](https://www.reddit.com/r/insex/) [r/oviposition](https://www.reddit.com/r/oviposition/) [r/immobile](https://www.reddit.com/r/immobile/) [r/prolapseville](https://www.reddit.com/r/prolapseville/) [r/prolapseonprolapse](https://www.reddit.com/r/prolapseonprolapse/) [r/cumflation](https://www.reddit.com/r/cumflation/) [r/autofellatio](https://www.reddit.com/r/autofellatio/) [r/getthiccbugged](https://www.reddit.com/r/getthiccbugged/) [r/cornedbeefapproved](https://www.reddit.com/r/cornedbeefapproved/) [r/horse\_poop](https://www.reddit.com/r/horse_poop/) [r/snoorule34](https://www.reddit.com/r/snoorule34/) [r/debreasting](https://www.reddit.com/r/debreasting/) [r/vagception](https://www.reddit.com/r/vagception/) [r/skavenslaves](https://www.reddit.com/r/skavenslaves/) [r/petgirls](https://www.reddit.com/r/petgirls/) [r/hentaibeast](https://www.reddit.com/r/hentaibeast/) [r/starfishpasties](https://www.reddit.com/r/starfishpasties/) [r/unbirth](https://www.reddit.com/r/unbirth/) [r/wojak\_porn](https://www.reddit.com/r/wojak_porn/) [r/sharktits](https://www.reddit.com/r/sharktits/) [r/morgzmumNSFW](https://www.reddit.com/r/morgzmumNSFW/) [r/dogelorehentai](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogelorehentai/) [r/spaceflippers](https://www.reddit.com/r/spaceflippers/) [r/penectomy](https://www.reddit.com/r/penectomy/) [r/smegmalovers](https://www.reddit.com/r/smegmalovers/) [r/watersports](https://www.reddit.com/r/watersports/) [r/femnautica](https://www.reddit.com/r/femnautica/) [r/cheemsr34](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheemsr34/) [r/jaidenanimationr34](https://www.reddit.com/r/jaidenanimationr34/) [r/futadocking](https://www.reddit.com/r/futadocking/) [r/bigfloppaporn](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigfloppaporn/) [r/boomerhentai](https://www.reddit.com/r/boomerhentai/) [r/snoohentai](https://www.reddit.com/r/snoohentai/) [r/boomeryiff](https://www.reddit.com/r/boomeryiff/) [r/earpenetration](https://www.reddit.com/r/earpenetration/) [r/testiclepain](https://www.reddit.com/r/testiclepain/) [r/cbtbdsm](https://www.reddit.com/r/cbtbdsm/) [r/wholesomeguro](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomeguro/) [r/grubhubwomancockvore](https://www.reddit.com/r/grubhubwomancockvore/) [r/sandycheekscockvore](https://www.reddit.com/r/sandycheekscockvore/) [r/gachaporn](https://www.reddit.com/r/gachaporn/) [r/auntcass](https://www.reddit.com/r/auntcass/)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0xe04
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I can piss with a hard dick
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I can piss with a hard dick, and just a few squirts inside her makes for a good internal lube. Or when you've been using the ass so long the regular lube starts to get sticky.

Or I just grab her by the hair and bend her over and yank her panties down and stick just the tip in for a nice long piss enema. Sometimes I make her hold it in afterwords, like last night, when I emptied my cider bladder inside her and then put a plug in her ass and made her hold Daddys dirty piss inside her for a few minutes. Sometimes she cums just from getting filled up, especially if I do it in short spurts she can really feel... that dirty whore.

And when Daddy's had a few (like last night ; ) she gets a little drunk just from getting pissed in, with no calories. Gotta be careful though, no liquor or she is gonna get fucked up. Like falling out of the chair fucked up. She hates the human centipede walk though, after I cum and piss in her ass and then I don't take the dick out, I just grab her hips and make her walk to the real toilet with my dick still inside her.

Heh heh heh... like last night.

Good times.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0waf0
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Do you know who else suffers from dementia?
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Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Do you know who else suffers from dementia?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0vxgt
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Don’t make me actually need to moderate you
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We shouldn’t have to tell you to stop or to behave nicer. I would expect you would know better. In the future I will just warn you or mute you if you continue to behave like you did today or in the past. Please don’t me force my hand in this matter. I would rather for us to all get along without needing moderation.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0ufob
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Being a predator in the name of god
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Chris, I can’t lie to you, I did come to this house to have sex with a 13 year old. But, I did it in the name of god. Back in biblical times, it was ok to have sex with kids. So, in theory, if he wanted to, Jesus could have had sex with a kid, and it would be totally ok. So yes Chris, I was going to fuck her. I was going to fuck her in the name of god.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0t7s0
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Calling Abdul Karim Sanchez at 3 am
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Abdul Karim Sanchez is an autistic 17 yr old from Trinidaddy and Tobacco. I called him at 3 am and he said “WAAAAAAH STOP COPING ME” He got his friend LordCoomer and his gay bf Christian Kelly to hunt me down cuz i said Sora is trash. Abdul started spamming on Twitter towards this guy named ChrisHoon4. He said that he wanted to have sex with Sora cuz he’s a coomer. Chris got so mad that he blocked Abdul on Twitter and he started spamming tweets saying “CHRISHOOD UNBLOCK MEEEEE, I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SORA😩😩😩😩” Abdul started whining about how he’s been a Markiplier fan for 5 years and he keeps talking about this Logan Roof kid and how he’s meeting him in a forest.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0rq50
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It's called we do a little trolling
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I do not give permission for this to be shared anywhere else. I am writing this anonymously with a throwaway account because people irl know my main.

I'm not writing this for sympathy. I'm not really looking for any advice. I'm hopeful not may people will see this. Please don't try to message me. I literally just want to get this off my chest for a moment until I can get into a greif group.

Sunday, November 21, 2021, my 19 year old brother died in a single car accident. He was on his way home. He only had about 30 minutes left in his drive. There were no other vehicles involved, just him. He drove this little car so they don't know if he was distracted or if he over corrected to wind gusts or something like that.

I am 27 years old. I am the big sister to my brother and my baby sister who is 12. We lost our dad 7 years ago-almost to the day-from when we lost my brother. Our dad died of cancer.

Everything I learn about the situation has just been worse than the last thing I learned.

First, we found out he died. Then, he died for seemingly no reason at all. As far as we can tell no one cut him off. He didn't hit a deer. Just nothing. Then, he still had a pulse but still died on scene. Then, they gave us back his phone which looks almost brand new except some cracking on the back. How did he die but his phone is just fine? Then, we get the call from the coroner, who tells us that we can't see his body. So his body was so mangled that they are telling us no. They also tell us that he had a heart condition, excessive plaque buildup, and a blood clot in his heart. He was tall and lanky and typically ate decent. How does a 19 year old who boxes and skateboards and lifts weight have so many problems with his heart?

Today, we are waiting to hear back from the funeral home to see if his hand is acceptable for us to see and touch one last time.

I'm so angry and sad. The entire drive to my mom's house (my husband was driving) I just kept shaking my head and saying no. No, they're wrong. Not my brother. Someone must have stolen his car. He may have been in an accident but he's not dead. Nope. No, she misunderstood the cops. He's not dead. No.

Despite the age difference, he was my best friend and my sister's best friend. The three of us are-I guess were-thick as thieves. He was my favorite debate partner, my moral compass, and one of the only people who knew how to always make me smile. He wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but he certainly was our cup of tea. My mom, my sister, me. None of us will ever be the same. He and I tried to fill in for our dad with our sister as much as we could. Now I have to fill in for him, too. How do I fill his shoes? I don't know music or skateboarding the way he did. How do I make my sister feel special and happy the way he did?

It hurt when my dad died, but we knew it was happening. This was just so sudden. I don't get to say goodbye. I don't get to hold him. I'll never get to hug him again or hear the new song he learned. He'll never get married or have kids like he wanted. He'll never see my sister graduate. I'll never see those bright blue eyes again. My heart is so full of grief. What are we supposed to do? You expect to burry your parents but not your 19 year old brother, son, friend.

Like I said, I don't want your attention or sympathy. I want this to be ignored. I just needed to scream into the ether until I can get back into the therapy group I was in when my dad died. I'm sorry if you read all this. Instead of replying, please hug your loved ones extra tight today and make sure your young people have safe cars.

All I want is to stop learning things about what happened.

I guess I'll update you all. Unfortunately, they don't recommend we see him at all, not even his hand. Mom said she is still going to go. I can't do it. I feel sick.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0pne5
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“dOn’T jUdGe Me…”
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the moment someone says 'don't judge me', i put on my Judgin' Hat, grab my bucket of Judgement Popcorn with side of Oh No You Didn't Soda, settle into my I Can't Fuckin' Wait To Hear This Recliner Chair and get ready to hear what will surely be a stream of nonsense.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0ouh4
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Hey Jude
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Hey Jude, don't make me cum

Take a sad song and make it worse.

Remember to let her into your penis,

Then you can start to make it worse.

Hey Jude, don't get into Genshin Impact.

You were made to go out and get her to cum.

The minute you let her under your balls,

Then you begin to make it worse.

And anytime you feel the cock, hey Jude, shart,

Don't carry the world upon your nuts.

For well you know that it's a peepee who plays it poopoo

By making his world a little shittier.

Hey Jude, don't let me cum.

You have found her, now go and get her to fuck me

Remember to let her into your penis,

Then you can start to make it worse.

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,

You're waiting for someone to masturbate with.

And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do my mother,

The movement you need is on your nuts.

Hey Jude, don't make it good.

Take a sad song and make it worse.

Remember to let her under your penis,

Then you'll begin to make it

Worse, worse, worse, worse, worse, worse, oh.

Ba ba ba bananana, bannana, hey Jude... Don't make me cum...

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0nbh6
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You think its funny???
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You 👉🏻 think 💭 it’s funny 😂🤣🅰 to take 💅 screenshots 👀 of people’s NFTs, huh 😨? You 👈 must 👫 be a very 👌🏼 immature 🤨 person 👫🎶🚵🏽 to steal 💰 someone’s property 🎮🚣🏻⛽ that they PAID 💧 for. Yeah 🙌, I 👁 said 💬 it. You’re the kind 🙁 of person 👫 who thinks 🤔 that property 🎮🚣🏻⛽ theft 🤐 (a seriously 😒 illegal 🚔🚨 offence ✋😭😤) is a joke 😂👄. I 👁 don’t even 🌃 know 🤔 why 🤔 you 👈🏼 took 👫 that screenshot 📷, because you 👈 didn’t pay 💸 1000 💰 dollars 🤑 for it. I 👥 did. The blockchain ☁ doesn’t lie 😤. Even 🌃 if you 👉😳😱 try 😈 to save 📑 it, it’s my property 🏡. You’re just angry 😡 that you 👈 couldn’t afford 💰 this priceless 😬 masterpiece 🤩. Even 🌃 if you 👉 could, your 👉 fingers 👆 couldn’t even 🌃 click 🖱🙌🏾 fast 🏃‍♂️💨 enough 💦 to get 🉐 one 👺☝ of the 10000 💰😳 NFTs sold 💲. You’re just mad 😠 you 👈 don’t own what I 👁 own. So, delete ❌ that screenshot 🔫, or I 👁 swear 🤭🤞, you’ll be hearing 👂 from my lawyers 👮.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0n8it
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markiplier sent me a psychic attack
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Markiplier sent me a psychic attack once. No, really. I’m serious.

When I was in high school I was absolutely obsessed with Markiplier. This was before I regained my past life memories, so I thought I should just live in the moment, focus on school, and watch Markiplier. Eventually I was so obsessed with Markiplier I couldn’t get myself to watch anything else. 

Then one day, my parents took me to the aquarium. I was on edibles. God, it was so beautiful. I didn’t think about Markiplier the whole time. I realized just how amazing life is. So much of the planet is saltwater we can’t thrive in, but that’s the cradle of our species and others. And some creatures still thrive there, so many that we don’t even know most of what’s down there. 

I hadn’t thought about Markiplier in a while after that. After a week of not thinking about Markiplier, I heard something fall over. I turned around and it was one of the wooden planks I kept in my room for fun (I collected wooden planks up until I was almost an adult). When I pulled it back up, I got a horrific splinter. Strange since that plank was completely smoothed down. As I stared at the splinter, my vision went blurry and my head started pounding. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. 

Then it forced myself into my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about Markiplier. The pain from my splinter felt exaggerated as it shot throughout my body. The idea was forced into my head that Markiplier’s sheer wrath made that fall over and get that splinter, and I had to repay him. I couldn’t go to school for the next few days. I had to watch Markiplier. I had to protect Markiplier. “I’m sorry for disappointing you, Markiplier.” Since that moment until I defeated him, I was in a blood rage. I had multiple incidents that hurt those around me. Markiplier would force psychic beams onto people who wanted to befriend me, making them miserable and develop intense symptoms of depression.

It took me a long time to realize this was a psychic attack. The fixation on Markiplier finally ended when I astral projected after I regained awareness of my true self, Evil Mario, and fought him in the realm of the stars, which lies in the center of this planet’s hopes and dreams. I triumphed over him and my subconscious flushed itself of his influence. 

I realized what he had done to me and became fully lucid. My parents were about to move to Portland, and while I was incredibly resistant before, now I felt free. It was time for a new beginning. 

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0l19y
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Epic Fail
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That's it, that's fucking it. I was on my 3rd consecutive fucking day of abstaining from masturbating but thanks to your fucking post "OP" I can't fucking take it anymore. My dick is hard enough that i could easily thrust through diamond as if it were nothing but wet toilet paper. The ass on the anime girls mocks me with its smug visage and is clearly designed to foil my well laid plans for getting my life together but fuck it. I'm going to slap my fucking meat to this like a godamned ape and blow a load all over my vintage carpet that would make even Mt. Vesuvius red with shame and its all thanks to you "OP".

Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0kewr
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠛⠿⣿⣫⣾⣿
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Source: https://old.reddit.com/r0i7kf
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