Hello my fellow Evangelion fans! I’m wondering what everyone thought of the four Rebuild of Evangelion movies?

For me, the series changed my life. Before watching the movies, I was a scrawny dude with a terrible sleep schedule, but for the last few months I’ve been sleeping great and have seen a huge increase in my muscle mass (I’m working on fixing muscle imbalances so I don’t feel comfortable sharing pictures just yet).

You might be wondering, how could four movies change someone’s life so greatly? It’s quite simple... ever since watching the tetralogy, I’ve thought of nothing but the glasses girl with the big boobs - Mari Makinami Illustrious, herself.

Each night, I make sure to rewatch 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time, and take my “LCL mix,” a drink made of Tropicana® 100% Extra Pulp Orange Juice, crushed Valium, and Percocet that I saved up after a recent tonsillectomy. For those wondering, I use Tropicana® 100% Extra Pulp Orange Juice instead of the regular old Orange Fanta® because it’s simply healthier. (If enough people ask, I’ll share my full recipe for LCL mix with substitutions for Percocets - I find Viagra works just as well, but that’s too embarrassing to acquire, and my erections are already incredibly strong)

Anyways, I’m getting off track. After drinking my LCL mix, I put my headphones in and listen to the entire Neon Genesis Evangelion soundtrack until I fall asleep. It’s important to watch the movies, then drink the LCL mix, and then listen to the soundtrack in that order, every night, otherwise you won’t get the intended results. Believe me, you’ll be wanting these results, and just like in *Kimi no Na wa*, you’ll cry after waking up from the most splendid dream.

The dream I have most often, and the one I enjoy the most, is one in which I become Shinji Ikari himself. Becoming Shinji is great for one reason and one reason only… no, not to rest between Miss. Misato's massive and mature mammary glands, no, not to pilot an Eva, and no, not to be near the beautiful Rei Ayanami and Asuka Shikinami Langley… I love dreaming of becoming Shinji just so that I, in my dreams, could maybe, on the off chance, be graced with Mari’s divine fragrance and presence. Whenever I am fortunate enough to meet her within the realm of my subconscious imagination, she delightfully reeks of *Yves Saint Laurent Beauty Parisienne Eau de Parfum*, which I imagine she must’ve bought while sightseeing in Paris. Her plugsuit, so elegantly torn, allows the fragrance to seep out of all the right places, filling my nose with pure bliss. Whenever I inhale, it’s as if Mari is lightly kissing each of my nose hairs as she makes her euphoric way straight to my brain. While I can’t be too sure on the timing, with the help of a camera I set up at night and a sleep tracking app, I’ve made an educated guess that this is the point of what I call The First Impact (the first nocturnal emission of the night). From there, the dreams start to get crazy. In one of them, and quite possibly my favourite dream to this day, Mari leaned in to get a whiff of my LCL drenched nutsack. “Mmmm, you smell nice,” Mari said orgasmically. “You’re real horny as usual,” I replied. She then stripped me of my plugsuit to reveal my Lance of Shortinus (I don’t know why, but for some reason in my dreams my penis is always smaller? My hypothesis is because I’m Shinji, but it’s getting kind of annoying because my penis in real life is actually quite big) whose aura she would inhale as well. It was actually this dream that made me realize my penchant for submission, since I proceeded to go on my knees for the Queen of Evangelion. Now, I’ll give a fair warning, this post might get a little NSFW starting from now, but I think that it’s absolutely necessary in order for me to even get close to conveying the extraordinary experience I had that night. After roughly teasing and gripping my Lance, she inserted my Entry Plug into her Evagelion and after various swaps in positions, our synchronization rates were matching, allowing us to cum in tandem.

Unfortunately, all good finishes come with a bittersweet ending. It was then that I woke up, before getting to tell her that I loved her. All my other dreams end the same way as well - she tells me she loves me and to “take care of myself,” before I’m able to tell her that our kids will be named Yui, if a girl, and Gendo, if a boy. It’s because of this that I’m given the motivation to go back, my journey won’t end until Mari knows that I love her. She gives me the drive I need to shower, to workout, to study. I do it so that one day I might meet my own glasses girl with big boobs.

I was thinking of posting about how I wished I was Shinji, and about the lengths I would go and the atrocities I would commit, to be with Mari, but as I write this I realize that’s not what she would want.

Anyways, I thought the movies were pretty good.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qy11u5

"I do need translation. And drafts. Wanna know why?

I have a dream!

That one day, every character in this genre will control their own destiny. The land of the true romcom, damn it!

A genre of CONFESSIONS, not cliches, ruled by HONESTY, not teasing!

Where the plot changes to suit the main cast, not the other way around!

Where progress and relationships are back where they belong... in the hands of the CHARACTERS!

Where every girl is free... to think... to love... for HERSELF!

Fuck all these limp-dick protagonists, and chicken-shit love interests!

Fuck this 24/7 internet spew of drama and fanservice BULLSHIT!

Fuck the beach episode! Fuck the fireworks!

Fuck ALL OF IT!!

Romcom is diseased. Rotten to the core. There is no saving it. We need to pull it off by the drafts! Wipe the plot clean. BURN IT DOWN!!

And from the ashes, a new manga will be BORN! Evolved, but UNTAMED!!

The dense will be purged, and the best girls will thrive. Free to love as they see fit. They'll make Romcom GREAT AGAIN!!

...

You still don't get it. I'm using anime as a business to get ELECTED! So I can end anime as a business.

In my new genre, authors will write, and draw... for what they BELIEVE! Not for a publisher! Not for sales!!

Not for what ship they're told is right. Every girl will be free to find their OWN ROUTES!!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qy02ab

I've come to make an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quill-y dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was THIS BIG and I said "That's disgusting." so I'm making a call-out post on my Twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog you got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth! That's right, this is what you get! My super laser piss! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on THE MOON! How do you like that Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have 23 hours until the piss droplets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxzh1j

I noticed juice makes a lot of references about R Kelly peeing on girls, could this be because peeing on girls is fresh in juices mind? I don’t know ally but just by looking at her she prolly would be down. I could see juice spraying her like a sprinkler system

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxz8fn

I was only seventeen years old. I loved Kyle Rittenhouse so much, I had all the merchandise and footage from that fateful night. I'd pray to Kyle every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Kyle Rittenhouse is based", I would say, "Kyle Rittenhouse is life". My dad hears me and calls me a white supremacist. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Kyle. I called him a nigger. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I shoot him in self defense. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Kyle Rittenhouse. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "Kenosha is my community". He grabs me with his stubby soft hands, and puts me over the top of him as he falls on the floor. I spread my arms for Kyle. He penetrates my right arm with a justified shot with his rifle. It hurts so much, but I do it for Kyle. I can feel my right arm begin to numb as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Kyle. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my chest with his bullets. My dad crawls in. Kyle looks him straight in the eye, and says, "This one's on the House". Kyle leaves through my window running toward the police. Kyle Rittenhouse is based. Kyle Rittenhouse is life.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxy8bh

I hate every single avatar makers

They fucking suck and their art style is crap

There was a time when cute girls in my class and internet used to ask me to draw their cute portrait so they can use it as a pfp

But not anymore.. after picrew got mainstream.. Every one can just create a colourful avatar in few clicks and they don't even have to wait or thank it.. I feel fukin worthless

On side not wherever I see picrew pfps I get pissed

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxwzyk

~=EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT=~

SJ-C has awoken, SJ-C is back, SJ-C is no longer a defeated foe, they are an active threat. SJ-C has been pushing us back hard. We are currently on neutral borders with them. We are basically 1v1ing all of kavani with minimal NOTO support, without HYDRA we are outgunned, outnumbered, and outclassed. SJ-C is not to be underestimated. We are currently calling for more NOTO assistance/support, however, any support they bring MUST be supplemented with additional TSK forces, more than we are rallying right now. We need more men.

I am calling for a full scale mobilization of all men available. If you are planning on coming back, do not wait, now is the time, your faction needs you. This isn't rep farming, it isn't just more content, this is all out war against SJ-C, who stands for everything we stand against, toxicity, dishonesty, arrogance, corruption, you fucking name it. We will not being getting HYDRA reinforcements, we are on our own, we will not let the rest of NOTO down. From now on forward, we will not let even single kilometer of lycentian space fall into kavani hands, not one step back.

All men will be expected to drop all other activities when pinged for a push, all men will be expected to keep their mains around Lycentia. I do not want to see anyone mining or doing anything else when they can be at an engagement. This is a numbers game which we are losing, we need more numbers. All hands on deck.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxvyx7

Do you know who saved the world from nazism? Yes, as you might imagine, me. I remember taking my first fly to Germany and, when I arrived at Berlin, I went straight to the fuhrer's bunker and simply said: "hey friend, stop". Him then, desolated, decided to commit suicide. Such was my assertiveness.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxun8m

I swear I will never forgive Linus Tech Tips for his fucking Linux "challenge." It's now impossible to bring up Linux without someone saying "lol, install Steam XD!!"

The FOSS community will literally never live this down. It'll be 2031 and people will STILL be bringing it up.

Some kid asked me today if I used Linux. I said yes. He poured gasoline on my shoes and set them on fire.

We're all fucked.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxsu96

Im gay? What the fuck do you mean that im gay? do you really think im a homesexual? You think i like stroking cocks after covering them with my saliva?On what basis? What did i do that you think im gay?where is your research? Did i come out of the closet? Or did you see me sucking a fat cock? Or perhaps you somehow saw me getting fucked in the ass? Wheres the evidence? Thats right, theres no evidence. you are just a little bitch that makes things up. You dare call me gay without knowing a single thing about me. You have no fucking idea how straight i am. im the straightest man in my town, Even in the country. I fuck vaginas exclusivly. Every wome ive ever fucked was paralyzed for the rest of her life after i had 20 minutes with her. Im so straight that ruler compenies use my cock as a prototype for their rulers, condom compenies use my cock as a mold for their condoms and glue compenies use my cum as a threshold for their products. Im so straight the level of pure testosterone in my body has ascended and now i can make any woman a man and any man a gorilla with just a single touch of my hand. Sperm banks in my area beg me every day for just one load of my semen and i let them take it only if i can fuck the reciever directy. And yet you swine dare to call me gay. I fucked every single women in a 30 kilometer radius of your house including your mother and sister, and every other woman you know. Dont believe me? Go and ask them you bastard, i fucking bet you the second you mention my name they will cum right in their panties. and yet you call me gay. say i suck balls, but if i suck balls you suck dick. Go fuck yourself.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxsev9

I’ve been radicalizing my family members and my girlfriend for months now, but yesterday my mom wanted to talk about some political videos she had been watching. We’d talked about Ben Shapiro before and I had explained how he’s a grifter, so she sought his videos out and apparently found him far more convincing than I have been. Whereas before she was all on board with everything I had explained to her, about workers rights, American labor history, the contradictions of capitalism, etc., the few Ben Shapiro videos she watched were apparently enough to plant that conservative tick in her. She wanted to argue yesterday about how there shouldn’t be minimum wage laws because Ben Shapiro made what she though were good arguments, saying it wasn’t okay to force employers to pay a certain amount and that a job making $5/hr is better than no job at all.

I was taken aback and tried explaining to her why Ben Shapiro and others like him are a bad influence again, and in the middle of my talking both she and my girlfriend got on YouTube and my mother began watching another Shapiro clip while my girlfriend went and watched a Liberty Hangout video (since I had brought that channel up too and my girlfriend watches it sometimes, “because it’s entertaining and she doesn’t actually listen to Katelyn’s opinions,” which is obviously not true because you when you expose yourself to the brainwash it’s very difficult to fight it, especially when you don’t know it’s there and are politically illiterate).

I just feel so defeated. If I can’t even get my own family members to care and understand, how am I supposed to get anyone else to? I’m not as effective a rhetorician as Ben Shapiro and apparently my loved ones really are the “advertising doesn’t work on me” types. My mother is obviously going to get further radicalized now because YT is gonna put more rightist videos in her recommended, and since these people uphold the establishment values she grew up with she finds them more convincing than my showing and explaining all the secrets and bad things about the US and capitalism. It’s so disheartening and depressing and I just don’t know how to combat the brainwash anymore

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxr242

@everyone

There is a person on pornhub that has being using my email to post porn.

There username is "JacobWantsBigSex"

No, this is not fake, this is real.

Please report this person, I have changed the password on there account, and currently in the process of deleting it.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxqo5n

The year is 2061. Kyle Rittenhouse, now 58 years old, has just been acquitted after his 40th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 39th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after defending himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 38th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 37th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 36th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 35th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 34th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 33rd trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 32nd trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 31st trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 30th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 29th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 28th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 27th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 26th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 25th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 24th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 23rd trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 22nd trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 21st trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 20th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 19th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 18th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 17th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 16th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 15th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 14th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 13th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 12th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 11th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 10th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 9th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 8th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 7th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 6th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 5th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 4th trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 3th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked him following the verdict in his 2nd trial for murder, where he was acquitted after his 1th trial for murder after he defended himself from the violent rioters who attacked himduring Jacope Black Riots.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxome7

I was raped last week. I was drinking a Frappie and feeling empowered at a local café here in Boston when I noticed this cute new barista handling some beans. He had like, *soooo* many tattoos and looked like a really bad boy criminal #sohawt lol. I caught him looking at me and we totally had a moment. It totally started tingling down in the ole’ Musky Mines—I needed a pickaxin’. So I made my way over to the counter and like really coyly asked if I could talk to him in the backroom about a new kind of bean—lol. He looked totally confused but was all like “sure” and he let me come through to the back. As soon as he’d closed the door, I bent over, hiked up my skirt and readied myself for impact, but then, to my, like, total surprise I didn’t feel anything enter. Instead, the dude started shouting “What the hell do you think you’re doing? This is extremely inappropriate, get the hell out of here before I call the cops!” Thinking he was joking, I grabbed his crotch, but he jolted and pushed me away, screaming, “Get out, NOW!” Humiliated and shocked that a person could do such a thing I walked back out, grabbed my stuff, and went home.

He made me feel so dirty—how dare he deny me sex? I was a horny woman who really wanted to have sex and this douche just refuses to fuck me? Wow. Just. Wow. Who does he think he is? How do you think that makes me feel? That’s right, violated. He’s not a real man.

You can’t possibly understand how hard it was. Here I was, wanting to have sex, and the guy I wanted to have sex with was denying me what I wanted. It was so bizarre, I’d never experienced anything like it. I couldn’t believe it, I had shown such courage by taking sexual initiative only to be turned down? DISEMPOWERING!! Denying me sex was his way of trying to regain patriarchal power over me, he was no doubt intimidated by a strong woman like myself, saying no was a desperate attempt to try to show that he was the boss. That’s as much a Patriarchal power move as rape—in fact, it is rape. Denying a woman sexual fulfillment is rape. He didn’t force me to have sex with him, but he forced me *not* to have sex with him when I really wanted to—this is obviously just as bad.

**NO MEANS NO UNLESS YOU’RE A MAN; THEN YOU ARE DISEMPOWERING ME WHEN I WANT SEX.**

I have obviously contacted the police and I will make sure that that fucking scumbag spends a good part of the rest of his life rotting behind bars for violating me like that, even if I have to tweak the story a little to account for our fucked-up legal system. No one will believe *his* side of the story LOL.

I had to go to therapy and everything cuz I’m really traumatized. I’m going to have to live with this for the rest of my life.

Fellow feminists, it’s time to start talking about this side of the rape coin too before more fall victims to “rejection rape.” This is Anne Gus, journalism incarcerate, over and out

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxmoai

My wife has recently brought up the fact that I almost never want to cuddle with her. Even after sex, we'll go to sleep but not cuddling.

I think I've finally found the reason why I don't want to cuddle. For years I've been getting my cuddles in at the gym. I've been noticing when I get the back and I'm going for the RNC, sometimes I'll put my head on my opponents shoulder and take a deep breath in. My brain fills with oxytocin, the chemical my wife longs for. When someone's in my guard and I hug them back down breaking their posture, I'm filled with endorphins. I come from a family that never really showed physical affection. But somehow I tricked myself into cuddling at the gym. Some of my opponents will lay on their side, and I'll just move into the big spoon position and hold their neck till they fall asleep.

Do I need to quit BJJ to seek out my cuddling from my wife? Do I bring her to the gym and tell her that's the only place she can get her cuddles?

TLDR: Wife wants cuddles, I get out all my cuddles in the gym.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxmkif

elon musk is a 50 year old man with more money than god and he spends his time spamming 9gag memes on twitter because he got dumped by a girl that looks like she would shoplift plastic bongs from spencers.
he has the same origin story as knuckles the echidna and refuses to pay taxes and when he gets called out for it he'll pull some stunt like "if the government can give me a detailed plan of what they'll use the money for by 4:20 I'll sell 69 shares of tesla stock" like he's the smosh version of the joker and he'll probably get away with taking over mars because that weird dude you know who hasn't upgraded his personality since 2011 and talks about the death star having contractors on it when it blew up like it was a real event will see this shit and go "epic win"

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxlerj

➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
➖⬛⬛⬛🏼🏼⬛⬛
➖⬛⬛⬛🏼🏼🏼⬛
➖⬛🏼🔳🏼🔳🏼⬛
➖➖🏼🏼🏼🏼🏼
➖➖🏼🏽🏽🏽🏼
➖⬜🟦🏼🏼🏼🟦⬜
⬜🟦🟦🟦🏽🟦🟦🟦⬜
🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜🟦🟦🟦🟦

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxk3ru

Fascinating story.

During the civil war a soldier was shot in the testicle on the battlefield. The bullet exploded his nut and kept going, eventually hitting a young female nurse in the abdomen. Well, you guessed it. She got pregnant.

What's so cool is that the soldier found out about her, tracked her down and married her.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxj7f8

SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER SKIN-WALKER EXTREME WEEPING IN MY SHED EXTREME WEEPING IN MY SHED EXTREME WEEPING IN MY SHED IT REAKS OF SULFER IT REAKS OF SULFER IT REAKS OF SULFER THE HOWLING GROWS LOUDER IT GROWS LOUDER GROWS LOUDER LOUDER LOUDER LOUDER

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxhp26

Thank you for re using this totally funny meme about Florida being crazy. You really topped off the humour charts with this one. Well guess what, you can hate as much as you want your tiny little european country or shitty little northern US state cannot compare in greatness to Florida. We have fun here, and there ain’t no pu$$ies here. I moved from there in 02 but regret it deeply.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qxgsea