I have PTSD, Post traumatic sus disorder. Ever since I was called a sussy baka my life has changed. It has been hell I tried to fight the sus but it only caused AMONG US to consume the world of mine

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtqq6i

Do you really think you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qubab2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⢐⢔⣴⣬⣕⣔⣌⣬⣩⡹⣛⣛⢻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠇⢔⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣟⣷⣶⢧⣮⣍⣝⢻⢿⣿ ⣿⠟⡑⢅⠕⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠟⢻⣿⣶⠊ ⡏⢌⢌⠢⡡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⡇⠄ ⠨⡂⠆⠕⢌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠧⠾⢛⣭⣴ ⠨⡂⠕⢅⠕⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠿⢟⢛⠫⡋⢅⠕⡐⠔⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡑⢌⠪⡐⢬⢢⢩⢙⢍⠍⢕⢑⠰⡈⡢⡑⢅⠢⡑⢌⠢⡑⢌⢊⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⡨⢂⠕⡨⢂⢅⢃⠇⢧⢹⡸⡸⣘⣒⢲⢸⢰⢱⢸⢰⢱⡘⡜⡔⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣕⡨⢂⠆⢕⠨⡂⢆⠪⡘⢌⢊⠪⡊⡚⠜⡊⡪⢊⠜⡨⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠛⠿⢿⣷⣷⣥⣎⣔⡡⡊⢌⠢⢡⢑⠌⡌⢌⠢⡊⢔⣡⠂⠈⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⢿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡟⠛⠿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢈⡁⢸⣿⡇⢰⡆⢸⣿⡇⢰⡆⢸⣿⡇⣉⠄⣿⡿⠁⠃⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣧⣤⣤⣼⣿⣧⣤⣤⣼⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣧⣼⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿

Source: https://old.reddit.com/quaclr

Sexual intercourse. Thats- thats the answer for all of these, every single one of you that uh "If you had 24 hrs with me what would you-" sexual intercourse, every single time. We dont even need to do anymore, all done, youre so hot, hubba hubba, wanna have sex. Thats it. No more. Dude thats like eh "If i brought you Domino's and I worked at Domino's, what would you do" id take the pizza and id have sex with you. Cause youre so attractive ehh the girl "If i worked at Starbucks and i gave you the drink that you paid for but i looked at you, what would you do"... Intercourse. I would take you to the back and have intercourse, because i cant resist you, okay? Were all done, theres no more, what else- what-what mor, do we nee- I need to fucking delete this app dude.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu8yg8

how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? how can i get to the western dong? 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Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu7lpd

In Kanye West's song "Remote Control" he says "Please don't ask again, who's up in the vent". This is because Kanye is in the vent as he is the impostor. Another way this is revealed to us is in his alternate name, "Yeezus", Yeezus is supposed to be a play on the son of God's name, Jesus, as he is a lyrical genius and is comparing himself to the son of God of music, and as we can very well see, Jesus has "sus" in it. There you have it, Kanye is in fact sus, as he is the impostor. Yet another way this is told is in his song Moon, which, coincidentally, is after Remote Control in his album Donda. Where is the Moon? In outer space. Where does Among Us take place? In space.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu6f1t

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu5k0p

Its less science and more history, to be honest. Femboys started in Ancient Greece. The Spartan Chads would periodically try to capture Athens for Athenian femboys. After all of Greece's testosterone went to Alexander, all of Greece was femboyified, leaving it a ripe fruit to be taken by the Roman Chads, who themselves eventually became femboys. Currently, femboys are found all over, but there are only two countries that are full of femboys now: Slovenia and Thailand. Why? No one knows. Sweden used to be there, but with the mass migration of Arabic Stacies and Brads, the local femboy population may one day be bred out, and the government replaced with a cringe caliphate.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu55iy

sometimes when I am horny, I put chocolate and marshmallows on my dick while I masturbate heating them up melting them with the heat from thrusting my fast meat, and pretend I'm a smore

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu3wp7

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you're showing what you stole from me directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu289b

I feel that black people are not equal to white people.

Just to start off: I'm white, but I do not support black people. I think racial equality is a myth. I think black people do not deserve the same rights as white people. I don't know if this is unpopular, but I feel that black people aren't equal to white people, and it's not a matter of preference. I think black people are, for whatever reason, treated differently. I feel this more strongly when it is to do with stereotypes, but when it comes to actual discrimination, I think white people are treated differently than black people. It's just how it is. It's also why I hate black people, because I feel that they're taking from white people. I don't hate them, I hate the system that we live in.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu19dh

Ok so let's say hypothetically you were to see a very hot person getting fucked by a dildo, but they are wearing a lot of clothes, such as a skirt and jacket, HOWEVER, they were making somewhat man moans, this is referred to as schrodinger's NSFW, where you don't know whether the person is a male or a female.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qu06c8

squid game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (in minecraft)

so guys i wahtced this movie called SQID GAME it was HILAIORUS i didnt understand it because they were speaking not american and i wasnt listening but then people got shot !!!! omg I laughed. but where the squid??

sdquids are inm minecraft including squid, squid from bottle and shiny thing, so i THINK I AM WE ARE ADD MINECRAFT TO SUID GAME i mean squid game to minecraf...

in minecraft they shoud add a squid game mob who will say "something in korean" and then kil you thank for pleasing you thank or liking you're wecome

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qty4dn

So I [21M] matched with a girl [18F] on Tinder and she came over to my place and we started making out. Pretty soon things escalated and she said “you’re so hard” to which I obviously replied “that’s what your mom said to me last night” she rolled her eyes and pretty soon we were going at it and I said I was gonna cum and she starting orgasming too saying fuck fuck fuckkkkkkk that feels so good to which I barely managed to moan out “that’s what your mom said to me last night” she then pulled my dick out of her and said look I’m an orphan please stop it and I couldn’t resist I gleefully said “that’s what your mom said to me last night” and came as I said it all over the floor to which she responded by breaking down in tears and saying “stop I’m done with this why did I ever match with you” and she got up and left last thing I said as she was leaving was that’s what your mom said to me last night and honestly I think that was pretty funny anyway that caused her to start sobbing uncontrollably and then she slammed the door behind her and left my house anyway it’s obviously her fault she’s too sensitive (your mom is also too sensitive if you know what I mean) so Reddit, am I the asshole?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtxpln

step 0: ya gotta truly crave the dick, or at least be able to convince him that you have an insatiable need to have his bits in your mouth and all over your face. build him up verbally before you begin. step 1: pacing; the glans is sensitive especially if he’s uncut, so just as you might not like a man to go from zero to full on hood pulled back clit licking right away, start by teasing his inner thighs and lower belly. rub your face against him, nuzzle his balls, feel him grow against your cheek. if he’s slow to get hard, don’t stroke it– try just taking his soft cock in your mouth and letting it grow against your tongue. step 2: technically the most sensitive parts of the D are the frenulum (aka the fleshy seam right under the head) and the part where the shaft meets the ridge of the glans. use those spots wisely and slowly! if you overstimulate them he might cum too soon before his orgasm is fully built up, and that sucks. many guys like gentle fingertip touches or cupping their balls, light pressure against the taint, or pressure against their pubis with your thumb below/behind the balls while you tease the cock. a light grip around the base, pressing in and down, will make him throb and get harder for you. step 3: edge him, use your mouth and hands, take it as deep as you can handle then slowly pull off. make out with the seam underneath his shaft. when he starts to twitch, or when his balls tighten up and pull close to his body, he’s getting close. you may be able to gently massage or tug his balls down and hold him off— some guys don’t like this though, so ask. (this is also where a stretchy - not a metal - cock ring can help, if behind the balls) step 4: decide beforehand where you want him to cum and what you’re going to do with it. if you love cum, great! tell him how much you want it and where you want it to go. start with “I need you to cum for me, I want it in my mouth” or something like that. if you don’t, it’s ok too, just finish him in a way that won’t end with you being disgusted as that can kill the mood a bit. e.g. if you don’t want to swallow it but you’re ok tasting it for a second, just finish him against your tongue with your mouth kind of open and let it all run out. if you don’t want it in your mouth at all, tell him you want it on your tits. don’t go overboard stroking him, this is a bj not a handjob— use your mouth until he’s basically starting to orgasm. important: as he cums and especially after, his glans is going to be super sensitive and he might not want any stimulation there. you can still gently ease him down with stimulation to his shaft and balls. if you do this right you can probably get him hard again after a few minutes, vs if you go ham on the glans he’s gonna be out of service for a little while. things I personally like: • edging a lot, then slowly licking the frenulum until I orgasm • when a partner likes to rub my cock and balls all over her face, even if she doesn’t want a facial. slapping it against her lips and cheeks is also amazing • gently sucking my balls with taint pressure from a finger or two • when a partner grabs my ass and pulls my cock deep into her mouth • when a partner masturbates while she’s sucking me, especially if she is edging and trying to hold off her own orgasm until I cum • when I’m right about to cum, like at the first twitch, just take me deep in your mouth and hold your tongue against my shaft. might take a few seconds to start spilling but that hang time feels so good. don’t stroke or anything, just cup the balls and hold it there until it softens. hope that helps! happy sucking

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtw5bv

You’re obsessed with me, you fucking f\*g! And y’all ni\*gas can clip this, this ni\*ga come on my stream 24/7 with a VPN ,getting banned thousands of times a stream, and still comes in here and sucks my dick and obsesses over me. You are a worthless bitchass ni\*ga. Your life, literally, is as valuable as a summer ant. I’m just gonna stomp you, you’re gonna keep coming back, I’m gonna seal up all my cracks. You’re gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass ni\*ga. You’re gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick, daily. Your purpose is to be in *that* chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is *nothing*, you serve *zero* purpose! You should kill yourself *now*, and give somebody else a piece of that oxygen in the ozone layer, that’s covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. What are you here for, to worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a 100% with a 1000%! I’ve never seen somebody so worthless in my life. I, deadass, have not seen such a more worthless ni\*ga, in my life. If he has kids, oh my god, imagine if a ni\*ga like that has kids. Like, imagine. Imagine if somebody like that actually has kids. I would feel so sorry for his children, because the ni\*ga literally serves no fucking purpose. Imagine a father, now we got lots of ni\*gas with wives and kids and shit, that suck my dick daily on the internet, but imagine if this ni\*ga actually had children. This ni\*ga is devoting the time he could spending with his kids, checking out a black man on stream, cucking over him relentlessly! That’s crazy! I’ve never seen somebody so relentless to be seen, somebody value so worthless that they’ll come into a fucking stream, and keep coming into this bitch over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, and we keep banning him! Ni\*ga, let’s do you a favour. Let’s go to the 99¢ store and pick out a rope together. I’m’a give you an assisted suicide. Let’s pick out a rope together, right? And we’re gonna take all the greatest troll clips, put a TV screen right in-front of you. I’m gonna hang that rope from the top of the motherfucking garage. We’re gonna forcefully pry your eyes open, we probably don’t even need to do that cause you’re on my dick daily. We’re gonna pry your eyes open until you consistently watch clips over and over and over and over and over again. To the point where you’re like: “Wait a minute, this is little bit too much.” You’re just gonna start going crazy. You’re just gonna start going crazy. Your eyes are gonna bleed, your retinas are gonna starrt during out blood and getting cracked and veins in your retinas are gonna start engaging and bulging. Them im gonna grab that rope for you and say: “Are you ready?” You’re gonna say: “Yes.” And im gonna take it pull it! While you begged me, and I mean begged me to kill you.

​

Yes, I step by step wrote this down listening to every word he said.
As far as I know, no-one else has done this so far. I know of one but that one is like 5 Lines long nowhere near mine.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtuwoe

i just can't stand my 13 feet long horse cock sometimes. whenever i see a hot dude, such as jeff bezos, my schlong goes from a flaccid, minuscule, .000000001 nanometer penis to a rock-hard, enormous, 13 foot long schlong. it is the most annoying thing in the world and everyone notices. i would kill myself over it, but men with gargantuan horse cocks like me are known to have erections after death, so even death is not enough to solve my problem.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtt2en

LOSING ALL MY SOCIAL CREDIT SPEEDRUN

FUCK THE CCP

TAIWAN IS A COUNTRY

FREE TIBET

UYGHUR GENOCIDE

TIANANMEN SQUARE MASSACRE

I PLAY GAMES MORE THAN 3 HOURS A DAY

HAVING MORE THAN 2 KIDS IS COOL

USA > WEST TAIWAN

🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtsm8a

The real question is, how was it funny? It doesn’t seem to have a clear punchline which doesn’t make it a joke. But their are many other forms of comedy, some slight of randomness included. But it’s not entirely random for the most part. In the begging, when he’s told it’s time he should get a watch, he punched his friends stomach and out came a watch. Pretty random, but the element of surprise is what makes it funny. When he goes to watch the count down and is asked his resolution for 2012 he says that it has something to do with his phone that I can’t quite catch so I’ll skip it. He’s then questioned if it’s the new Samsung phone, and the camera quality as you can tell is bad because of the running joke that the Samsung brands camera quality of their phones are bad. Than comes the kiss if New Years, and then him pausing the countdown of a prerecorded video, and then he pulls down his friends pants only to find more pants, this again is an element of comical surprise because it wasn’t expected of their to be more pants. When he questions his friend about it, he answers that it’s his resolution, this one is debatable, weather his resolution is to literally wear more pants, or have less sex,l because with more pants, it would be difficult for a mate to partake in intercourse, that would tie in with his friend pulling down his his pants, probably to kiss his penis. Than after that the camera zooms out and the countdown begins again, where we are to find that they switch leggings, again another use of comical surprise.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtr9ys

Just sneak a sniff anon. I sniffed 4 girls last night. Knowing the layout of the gym and by predicting their movement patterns it becomes very easy to setup complex sniffing schemes. Last night I left my phone under a bench next to a bench two girls were doing hip thrusts with. With good timing I was able to sniff the spotter on first pass and then sniff the other as a she got up from her set. All in less than 15 seconds with no one the wiser. It is the same as any other time you want to get away with something. Look like you belong, act confidently, don't let your eyes wander. Get in, get your sniff, get out. I would rather go to a gym with no women, but if they are there, I might as well use the free test boost. By pretending to not hate women and being handsome, I have even had girls ask me to spot them. This can be many free sniffs, but you may miss optimal rest period, so you will have to weigh risk/reward.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qtpsu8