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Displays only the finest of trash taken from /r/copypasta
rick astley
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...............|,: : : : : :-\~\~--: : ::/ NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
......,''\\':\\: :'\~„„\_: : : : : \_,' NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN
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Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgqv4v
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Somebody actually seriously fucking posted this in response to the Navy Seals pasta and I'm fucking dying
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I’m here all weekend - come on ya fuckin punk ass swimmer 🙄 I’ll be waiting on ya - I’ll be waiting on your punk ass - wait matter of fact give me your address I’ll come to wherever you are and give you a chance to make good on your promises since I know you won’t actually come here me Navy SEAL lol what BUDS class were you in bitch? See you’re talking to an Army Ranger - RSC 13-2 - I’ve ACTUALLY been on clandestine missions - I’ve ACTUALLY been in gunfights - and on the 1% chance that you’re ACTUALLY a buds graduate I’ll tell you RQRF in the korangal - we were saving baby seals on a daily basis because they have no fucking idea what to do when bullets start flying the other direction - so no - I’m not worried about you - the USMC is still using gulf war hand me downs so you’re saying your equipment is dated and sporting extensive wear and tear? Annnndddd no need to involve your top secret lies I mean spies whoops - cuzzzzz I just told you and the internet where I live - you can come here or give me your address and I’ll come there - either way 😊

EDIT: Here was his response to being told it was a copypasta, for your viewing pleasure.

I don’t know what copypasta means - I don’t know what doxxed yourself means - does not knowing these definitions make me a dumbass moron? What’s your address and I’ll come show you what a real SOF guy is capable of - you threaten my life you little stolen valor fuck brick? Navy SEAL give me a goddamn break you fucking retard - if you grow a set and decide you wanna tie asses with me just come knock on my door - I didn’t do a fucking thing to you people but share a video of a cat - period - if you wanna threaten my life over that be prepared for the consequences - I’m not on here looking for trouble if I was then why would I post a video of a cat on a cat video sub? God almighty and I only posted it here because my woman told me to - I’d never heard of this sub - had I known making a cute pun including the cats name would yield such backlash from faggot ass frenchy stolen valor pukes and broke dick hadji wan kenobis id have just not posted it - I thought the members of this sub would enjoy this video - so I shared it - you wanna use it as a platform to threaten my life and wellbeing? I will crush your fucking windpipe you little coward - so either roll up or tell me where I’m rolling to or you just prove you’re a coward that’s all talk

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgpns2
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🇺🇸ATTENTION🇺🇸PLEASE🇺🇸
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🇺🇸guys🇺🇸if🇺🇸you🇺🇸receive🇺🇸an🇺🇸email🇺🇸saying🇺🇸"naked🇺🇸pictures🇺🇸of🇺🇸Donald🇺🇸Trump"🇺🇸don't🇺🇸open🇺🇸it🇺🇸it🇺🇸is🇺🇸a🇺🇸virus🇺🇸that🇺🇸puts🇺🇸USA🇺🇸flags🇺🇸between🇺🇸everything🇺🇸you🇺🇸type🇺🇸

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgpbap
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A few thoughts about the cars universe
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The thing I really like about Planes is that we learn that WWII happened in the Cars universe. Which means there was a Cars Hitler, a Cars holocaust, a Cars Pacific War, a Cars D-Day, a Cars nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a Cars Battle of Iwo Jima …

This leads to so many important questions, like: were the Cars Little Boy and Fat Man nukes sentient? Was it a suicide mission? Are ALL Cars nuclear weapons sentient? Did Tsar Bomba have a personality?

What kind of car was Car Hitler? A VW? A forklift?

Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized?

Don't forget that there was also a car pope in cars 2 meaning car jesus was a thing. Jesus Chrysler.

How would one crucify a car? I don't know, but Pontiac Pilot would.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgo66r
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How it feels to idolise eren jeager
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I've become so much like Eren Jaeger it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut the fuck up Hange!!! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgmflr
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A response to the question “what the fuck is it with you and dolphins?”
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Everything.

What the fuсk is it with you and no dolphins? The only people that don't fuсk dolphins are those who never have, so I'm gonna coach you.

Your first step should be to find dolphins to mate with. Aquariums are a bad choice for various reasons such as having to have permission from the owner, no privacy, night visits are impossible etc.

The best place to find dolphins to mate with is usually in the wild. They should have some human contact (as to not be completely unused to humans) but should still be a somewhat low trafficked area for privacy reasons. You should go there a lot so the dolphins get used to your presence, and swim a lot there as well. Slowly encroach upon them every now and again, until eventually you're well acquainted with them. At this point, you should continue this as much as possible and a waiting game will ensue. Eventually, one of the dolphins will get horny and if you're lucky, and they know you well enough, they'll choose you as a mate.

It is important to determine the sex of the dolphin, now. If you can see the underside, look at the naval of the dolphin and go down. The female dolphin will have one continuous slit that contains the anus and the vagina, and on either side of the genital slit will be the mammary slits where the nipple is contained for feeding the calves. The male, however, will have no mammary slits, and the eurogenital opening where the penis is contained will be separated from the anus by a bridge of skin. Although that's the best way, If you can't see the bottom of them then you can look at their head. The males will be more stumpy and the females (both head and body) will be more sleek and streamline.

If it's a male, the only thing I know how to do is to masturbate him. I have heard some people say you can give oral, but I've also heard others say it can be deadly due to tail flukes, so it is best in the interest of safety only to masturbate him. I wouldn't try anal either, as though I never have, I heard it can cause peritonitus from the tail flukes they do when experiencing sexual pleasure and the force of ejaculation.

With that aside, here's how to masturbate him.

If his penis is already out, rub it quickly up and down and after a good few tail flukes he'll begin to slow down. This means he's almost finished, and you should change from quickly rubbing to slowly massaging and gently squeezing it. If he still doesn't finish, then just do the process again until he does. Their will be some strength behind it, so be careful as to not get hit.

If his penis isn't out yet, you can gently poke and rub the top end of the eurogenital opening and if you do it right his 12-14 inch penis will appear, and from here just repeat the steps above.

Fun fact about the male dolphins penis, they can curl the last 3 inches of it to wrap around and pick up objects 1 inch in diameter. Female dolphins can also pick up objects with their genital slit as well.

If it's a female you have a few options. Being male, you can either mate or masturbate them.

When masturbating, note that the clitoris is located at the top end of the genital slit and is rather visible and prominent when erect. You can poke and rub this, or finger it as well, though note that it is larger than a female human vagina and you may need to use more fingers than usual and make more broad motions. It is for this reason I prefer the first option when it comes to pleasuring female dolphins. You could also technically give oral, but the only problem with this is all members of the dolphin family have powerful tail flukes when experiencing sexual pleasure, and your head and face are bound to get knocked a few times.

As for mating with them you should note that the dolphin will come up to you in most cases. While it is possible to do this open water, it is very difficult and distracting. I'd prefer water that is anywhere from 2-4 feet deep as this is the most comfortable for the dolphin and me in my experience. You may try a few different positions but the best one in my experience is them on their side with their belly facing towards you. From here, you can penetrate. When penetrating there will be multiple chambers that each have doors you'll need to force open, this is because sea water kills dolphin sperm and is how female dolphins keep it out. However, once all the way inside, the doors and walls of these chambers will close down on you and begin manipulating and massaging you inside them. They tug, twist, pull, and gently massage you inside them. Female dolphins have extremely manipulative muscles and are very good at this, and it is for this reason that during sex male dolphins don't pump (too much of a risk for sea water to get in) and instead the females do all the work. So just stay inside them and enjoy the ride!

Note that if you change your mind and start pulling out, female dolphins will often tighten down on you to prevent you from doing so. They like a commitment and probably won't take kindly to their mate walking out on them. If this happens, don't worry, you'll be released when you both finish. Yep, that's right, both! For whatever reason dolphins always synchronize their orgasm to mates, dolphin or human. So unless something really scares them enough to let you go, just focus on finishing if you really want to get out as that's the only way.

Don't worry too much though, you won't last long. Dolphins are extremely intelligent and can detect quivers and even the slightest muscle movements. They can tell when you're about to finish, and estimate how far away you are. They'll then use this knowledge to make calculated decisions on what manipulations they think will get you there the quickest, and are very good at it. I'd say you won't last longer than 2 minutes on average. When you're done, I'd recommend staying there for a little bit. It's a very emotional experience, and it is hard to comprehend but it helps to be there with the dolphins a little longer.

I'd also like to note that in my experience the female orgasm is accompanied by their muscles seizing up or shuddering and in some cases making vocalizations. their reactions to orgasms vary rather greatly, so it really depends on the dolphin, but I feel in most situations you'll know when they've finished.

This isn't very important for mating, as I have said they time their orgasm to yours, but it is useful when giving oral or masturbating as it allows you to know when they've finished.

Now, if the dolphin is in a group they'll be fine if you really want to leave and decide against doing it again (though now that you've tried it I'm sure you won't stop), however, if it is by itself for some reason you need to make mating a habit and do it as often as possible. Dolphins will commit suicide if separated from mates. In a group they could always switch mates, but if they're by themselves they likely don't have this option and you are their only mate. I'd recommend mating as often as possible regardless as it strengthens your bond with them and makes them less likely to leave you for a different mate, but it really is a necessity if they're by themselves.

Something I should probably mention is that you should ensure that the dolphin you're mating with/masturbating is the only horny dolphin in the area. Dolphin orgies can happen and are actually dangerous to be stuck in, as they get very excited and being raped by a male dolphin anally could potentially be deadly as mentioned above. However, you're much more likely to die by being drowned in an event like this, and it is very difficult to escape them. They don't happen often, but with all rare but dangerous things you should still keep note of it. I'll admit it can be hard to tell if there is more than one horny dolphin as the first one you spot will likely have all your attention, but if they get rowdy enough you'll notice. I've never been stuck in one of these myself, and I've only ever seen it happen once, so I can't provide any advice on escaping from one. The only thing I know to do is to just make sure I avoid them all together.

I should also note that If you're in the mood and they aren't then (though I recommend letting them make the first move) you can gently pet them like normal and every so often rub your hand along their genital slit, but if they still aren't interested then be warned you should NEVER try to rape a dolphin. Not only will you likely never see that dolphin again because they're very intelligent and won't forget that, but also because they're so much larger than you. You could never hold one down, so there's no point in trying, and you'll be lucky if they don't decide to kill you.

Final note is this may sound familiar. If so, you're thinking of the "dolphin sex . org" copypasta. This however, is original. My only issue with the dolphin sex . org copypasta is male masturbation technique.

Anybody that collects dolphin semen for Artificial Insemination (AI) knows that it is best to start of rubbing quickly then go to softly massaging it after the tail flukes slow down. His technique of constant massaging may have worked for him, and he may have learned it from his own experience inside a dolphin, but it isn't the best way.

He also never mentions the multiple chambers, or the fact that lone dolphins commit suicide if separated from mates, and didn't really tell you much about the best position to be in. Another flaw I found is that the water depth he recommends is far too shallow in my opinion. Also, it is very difficult to "support" a 630lb dolphin with one hand and is not needed when masturbating them. The dolphins will keep themselves up pretty well on their own, no need to try and support them.

When writing on a very specific topic such as dolphin fuсking it is very difficult to not find yourself agreeing with other well written works on the subject. it is overall a fine resource, but it could be better and his techniques could be improved.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qglvfu
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I swear if I hear someone say "NYC is the greatest city on Earth" one more damn time
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NYC is a terrible place. To many damn people cluster fucked packed in blocks. The rent is outrageous, & ownership is equivalent to initiation into the Skulls Club. Everyone is shady or jaded, & have been screwed over by people they trusted on at least 3 times before they hit an age worthy to be called, a mid life crisis. The cops got a golden plated sticks up their ass. Oh, and everyone talks shit about every other place in the usa, while claiming NYC is “absolutely” the greatest in the world, & that the world WILL, ever know.

Meanwhile y’all have infrastructure that hasn’t been updated in around 100 years. Your politicians will throw their fat asses in a dog pile manner onto anyone they please, & call it justice. Your politicians are crooked as fuck. Your cops are the mafia with a paycheck from the state. Your institutions are tribal. People work till they die or get lucky & buy a place outside of NYC. Always, retiring, outside, of NYC.

And y’all egotistical, megalomaniacs, of a populated state, wonder why people don’t, like, NYC? Y’all are just some dumb fucks straight up keeping that real lie. Fuck, outa here.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgkdvx
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Mineta Copypasta
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Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Mineta ain’t bout this, Mineta ain’t bout that My boy a hero in fucking Class A and them He, he they say that nigga don’t be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all niggas ain’t know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Mineta ain’t no hitta Mineta ain’t this Minenta a perv SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'all don’t live with that nigga Y'all know that nigga always getting rejected and beat up and shit Nigga ain't go no girlfriend since fuckin, I don’t know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them niggas savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Mineta I’m fucking beating they ass! I’m not fucking playing no more You know those niggas role with Deku and them.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgk7vr
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Huge penis
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I’ve got an absolutely massive penis. Like a whole ass tree. Like an anaconda but rock hard. It’s absolutely massive. Easily the biggest penis in the country. The length of an elephant’s trunk and the girth of a gorilla fist. Every time I step it drags behind me so much I have to put it in a cart or it gets gravel rash. I don’t have to stand up to go pee, I usually just leave the tip in the bowl while I go about my day. When I cum it takes half a day for the nütte to reach the tip and I easily fill several buckets each time. I have to make sure the tip is either in the bath or the toilet when I cum or it floods the room. Normies makes jokes about “like throwing a sausage down the hallway” but I never understood them because I could easily fill and successfully fuck a hallway to ejaculation. Right now as we speak my three girlfriends are using it as a scarf while they smoke weed and game. Yes, I have three gamer girlfriends that smoke weed. No, you can’t borrow them. They’re my weed smoking gamer girlfriends, and if I stop supplying them with weed at any time they instantly start worshipping my absolutely massive, dummy thicc cock until I give them more.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgixtq
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Jesus Loves all!
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START YOUR NEW LIFE WITH CHRIST
You can have real, lasting peace today through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Start your four-step journey now!

Step 1 – God loves you and has a plan for you!

The Bible says, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, [Jesus Christ], that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”—a complete life full of purpose (John 10:10).

But here’s the problem:
Step 2 – People are sinful and separated from God.

We have all done, thought or said bad things, which the Bible calls “sin.” The Bible says, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

The result of sin is death, spiritual separation from God (Romans 6:23).

The good news?
Step 3 – God sent His Son to die for your sins!

Jesus died in our place so we could have a relationship with God and be with Him forever.

“God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

But it didn’t end with His death on the cross. He rose again and still lives!

“Christ died for our sins. … He was buried. … He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4).

Jesus is the only way to God. Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me” (John 14:6).
Step 4 – Would you like to receive God’s forgiveness?

We can’t earn salvation; we are saved by God’s grace when we have faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. All you have to do is believe you are a sinner, that Christ died for your sins, and ask His forgiveness. Then turn from your sins—that’s called repentance. Jesus Christ knows you and loves you. What matters to Him is the attitude of your heart, your honesty. We suggest praying the following prayer to accept Christ as your Savior:

"Dear God,
I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him to life. I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen."


Did you pray this prayer?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qghnmy
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Guptill89 Presents: Top 10 Hottest Female Undertale Characters
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Frisk from Undertale: one of the greatest and most attractive characters ever thought up. They can spare their enemies, take out enemies in a flash, and best of all, they know how to handle the females. Speaking of females, the Undertale universe might also be classified as hot chick heaven, because there's such a mess of very beautiful and tough women that it will make you love the franchise even more. And since Valentine's Day is right around the corner, I've been inspired to make a top 10 list of the most beautiful female Undertale characters. Grab yourself a snack and a glass of orange juice, and try not to reach through the screen because HERE WE GO!

10: Try this question on for size, who chases and berates Kris all of the time and wields a powerful axe? Why, it's Susie of course! Though more of a violent and deranged criminal than a hottie, you can't deny the fact that she's still attractive. Two things that make her attractive are the fact that she wears a cardigan, and when have you ever seen a very large tail sticking out the back of someone? I haven't! So once again, Susie is lovely; that is until she goes beserk and starts hitting stuff with her axe!

Who's at number nine? It's the Prince from the Dark Ralsei, from Deltarune. He arrived in the story to deliver a message saying that the world was at stake by too many dark fountains. The real reason he lands at number nine is that he becomes Kris "Moss Eater" Dreemurr's sweetheart, something Kris needed for a long while.

Numbero Ocho: The Amalgamates' mother, Alphys. She's attractive and the size of an average human child. What really surprises me about her is that the leader of the Royal Guard, Undyne, falls in love with her. Kinda silly, don't you think? She's another character that doesn't do much, but in Undertale, she gives Frisk a new phone, which can connect to Undernet.

What number's next? Seven of course! The Queen from Deltarune. People always root for the good guys, but sometimes, the bad guys steal the show. Her mechanical IQ is equal to Berdley. She also happens to be the smartest member of the Cyber World. I don't wonder why she's the leader. Like GW or Zax, the Queen's speciality is being a computer, With a very long forehead extending from her neck and a penchant for battery acid, the Queen will rock your socks. If only we could see her take wing.

Numero Six: Muffet the Spider from Undertale. Named after the nursery rhyme of the same name. Muffet is the daughter of gains. She's yet another character that hardly does a thing, except hustle and beg Frisk to make a purchase. She also traps Frisk inside her webs so that her pet reigns terror upon them. When you're the daughter of the very concept of making money, you need to look your best and Muffet delivers perfectly, that's why she's number six.

Number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ah-ah-ahhhhh: Mettaton from Undertale. How could you go wrong with a guy who looks like this? He can dance nearly as fast as Frisk, and he went from being a violent human killing machine to being a popstar singer. Next to Alphys, he looks more humanoid than the other characters. Who could top someone who has long, luscious hair?

This female standing at number four: Toriel Dreemurr. One word. Pyrokinesis. How would you like to have that superpower? I mean, Toriel could play around in the Himalayas for hours and she would be perfectly fine! Also, big ass ears make her look like a dog. I really like the fact her love interest is the telekinetic skeleton Sans. The combination of mind-moving and fire superpowers make these two a reliable couple. But what really lands Toriel the number 4 spot is that her attitude's apparently more different than the other females.

Next up is number three: what's better than having a female with 6 beautiful arms? How about a female with big, extravagant antlers? Noelle the Deer, another Deltarune exclusive has that feature. She's smart, knows exactly what to do to best the Queen, and even trained Berdley once. She's also the girl of Susie's dreams. Heh, lucky her. Her older self in Noelle by tomatocoup on DeviantArt is just downright hot! Just look at that red dress! Now we're talkin'!

1,2 button my shoe! Captain Undyne. There's a lot to say about this character. She's the head of the royal guard, Alphys's first official romance, the only character to be missing an eye, brave and athletic, the most humanoid fish, and is like a mother to Papyrus. In the game, Undertale, one child, the clumsy Monster Kid, constantly tries to woo Undyne, but doesn't succeed because, well... he's a child! The Captain is also semi-perfect example of an excellent love interest, although there were a couple of times she really snapped and acted like a lunatic; in the comics, that is. But overall, Undyne really stands out amongst the slew of females not just because she's Alphys's first official love interest, or because she's the only one who's missing an eye, but because in the game, she took off her armour, and dated Alphys in the landfill, becoming based.

So you've seen a goat mother, an anime loving dinosaur, two gorgeous robots, and even a prince! Who could possibly top those kinds of females? Well, get ready folks, this is the number one hottest Undertale female character.

Papyrus: If anyone denies it, how dare you? This skeleton can fly, he's as strong as Frisk, and is a femme fatale, seducing other characters into getting what he wants. Instead of having one love interest, he has two! Frisk and Mettaton. Being a chef, he's only interested in one object set: pasta, especially spaghetti. There have actually been situations where Papyrus's calves have been exposed, but it eventually got censored. What a price to pay. I think the best part about this beauty is that he wears two different outfits, unlike the other female characters. And who wouldn't want to fly across Snowdin, be as strong as Shawn Johnson, and flirt with any character, anytime, anywhere. These three traits make Papyrus the Skeleton triumph over all the Undertale females. My hat goes off to you, Toby Fox, you oughta be proud.

There ya have it folks. Those were the hottest female chicks in the Undertale universe. I hope you enjoyed it, happy Valentine's Day, and I'll se you later. HERE WE GO!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qggbhn
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nikocado avocado: the good ending
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i had a dream where nikocado avocado started a workout channel where he was struggling extremely hard to do basic things, but one month later he got buff af and the entire internet was calling him a chad and he even quit mukbang and started doing gaming and vlogs. i was very sad when i woke up.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgeipx
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My friend typed this out word for word on discord
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Guys, I’ve been quiet about this for a long time but it’s time to come clean.

I want to fuck Jenny from My Life As A Teenage Robot.
Now, you might be wondering if fucking a robot would actually be that good of an experience, but think about it for a minute. First of all, you have to consider that robots probably have a wide array of replacement parts. I’m sure you know where I’m going with this, but let me explain. Just imagine being able to completely customize your partner so that the experience is completely different every night! That would be awesome! Second, in a world with humanoid intelligent robots, we can assume that their are failsafes in place to prevent injury when having sex with said robots. I assume that a robot that supposed to resemble an average human wouldn’t just be all gears and pistons down there, don’t you think? If that doesn’t convince you that a humanoid robot is the perfect lover, I don’t know what will! Next, consider that said robots can be repaired no matter the extent of the damage they take. This means that you can be as rough as you want and you’ll never have to worry about hurting her! Robots also don’t feel pain, which is a plus. Finally, I’d like to draw your attention to Asimov’s laws of robotics. Robots must follow any order issued to them as long as it doesn’t put them in danger, so any weird requests you have definitely won’t be a turn-off for her. Compared with the customization aspect of the robot, you could live out your wildest dreams! Robotic Tentacle monster? Go for it! Robot footjob? Hell yeah! The possibilities are endless! In conclusion, a humanoid robot is the best possible sex partner. This explains my viewpoint on why I would want to fuck Jenny from My Life as A Teenage Robot.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgdpsu
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I'm deleting you, Brother!
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IM DELETINGE YOU, BROTHER!
██\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 10% complete.....
████████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 35% complete....
████████████\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\]\] 60% complete....
█████████████████\] 99% complete.....

🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable ☪I could never delete you Brother!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Mujahideen👪 who would give their lives for ﷲAllahﷲ Or never get called ☁️Brother☁️ again If you get 0 Back: Juhanam for you 🚫†✡🚫 3 back: you're off the martyr list☁️💦 5 back: you have pleased Allah greatly☪💦 10+ back: JANAHﷲ!ﷲ!💕💕☪👅👅

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qgc348
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───── ❝ 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐳𝐢 𝐃𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝟔𝟖% 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 ❞ ─────
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I don’t know how to tell you this but… the member elongation secret was right there all this time...

This guy shoots movies for the adult industry and the things he saw there will knock your socks off.

He accidentally found the elongation secret the adult stars were using. Yes… All the stars, all of them, it was all a big faaaat lie.

Some of them born with small Johnsons, they managed to get their big boys upgraded by 5’’, 6’’ and even 8 inches.

It all happened in Germany, at this former nazi clinic when a crazy guy working for Hitler developed the formula that was going to save all men.

You have to see this, this video guy published all their findings on his personal website.

Yes…. including the formula. It’s absolutely mind blowing.

I’m not sure for how long, but word of mouth says it’s already helping 300 men every day gain inches on their members. The average increase is 68%.

Now you and I both you can’t miss this.

I haven’t. But I’ll say no more. Yessss, there is something that finally works.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qga12m
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Glory to the ccp!
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣭⣭⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄
⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⣿⣿⡄⠄
⠄⢸⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⡟⢛⢻⣷⢻⣿⣧⠄
⠄⠄⣿⡏⣿⡟⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣼⣿⢸⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣧⢿⣧⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣴⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⡆
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣮⡻⠿⣿⠿⣟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⢃⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄
⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄
⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣣⣀.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qga6ao
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Is it cheating if you masturbate before making a move in online?
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This is a very honest question... I dont know if it was ever asked before but i think it's pretty tricky to answer. On one hand, it shouldnt be cheating at all because you are not using the help of third person or a chess board. It's your post nut clarity that helped you. But on the other hand, one of the challenges of chess is visualisation. Seeing the position after post nut clarity helped you to think of a better move. So what is your opinion? I'm really curious to read them

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qg7jfh
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I love my car so fucking much
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I love my fucking car so much

2022 BMW m340i xDrive. And just put in a AWE track exhaust suite. Spoiler on the way, catted downpipe coming soon. The never ending black hole of mods goddam.

Literally have never loved anything more. God, it’s just so sexy and it sounds so good. Driving it is better than sex, better than cumming. If I could fuck my car, I wouldn't, I'd only make sweet love to it.

Sorry, I just have this overwhelming feeling of love for it that I had to express this somewhere, somehow.

Edit: I love this car because it makes me feel excited to wake up, something I have not felt for a very long time.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qg7rdy
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Rock rap
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ITS ABOUT DRIVE😤
ITS ABOUT POWER 🔥
WE STAY HUNGRY😈
WE DEVOUR 👹
PUT IN THE WORK 💪
PUT IN THE HOURS ⌚
AND TAKE WHATS OURS🥶😳

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qg6170
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Increase penis girth naturally: 4 most effective male enhancement exercises to increase the penis girth.
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Most of the time, men only think about increasing the length of the penis but the girth or the thickness of the penis is also important as the width is what matters. There are several exercises to increase the size of your penis. Penis enhancement exercises have been in use for many centuries in several cultures to increase the length as well as the girth of the penis. These exercises will stimulate the tissue and skin at the base of the penis make your penis bigger. If you think that you can do with a little more length and girth, try these exercises for lasting results. Before you start exercising, take a warm towel and wrap it around your penis to prevent injuries and keep your grip light. If you experience pain at any point of exercising, do not continue. (**ALSO READ** [**How to increase sperm count naturally: Eat these 11 food items to improve male potency**](https://www.india.com/lifestyle/how-to-increase-sperm-count-naturally-eat-these-11-food-items-to-improve-male-potency-1724779/)).Also Read - [Dangers of Ignoring Your Back Pain And Spine Problems](https://www.india.com/health/dangers-of-ignoring-your-back-pain-and-spine-problems-5069606/)

## 1. Edging

Edging means you masturbate until you reach the edge or the point where you are about to ejaculate. So, in this exercise you will aim to hold the ejaculation for as long as possible. The extended erection will enable the penis to pull more blood and the nutrients in the blood may facilitate the growth of the penis. Edging is a great exercise to improve sexual stamina. It will also help fight premature ejaculation. Also Read - [Lifestyle Changes And Tips to Help Reduce Breast Cancer Risk](https://www.india.com/health/lifestyle-changes-and-tips-to-help-reduce-breast-cancer-risk-5069551/)

How to do it: Start masturbating by stroking the base of your penis. Slowly move up but avoid the head of the penis. Stroke your penis to full erection. Then, when you reach the verge of ejaculation, stop stroking and hold your ejaculation. Let the urge to ejaculate subside and then start stroking again. You can do this as many times as possible. Also Read - [Suffering From High Blood Pressure? This ONE Exercise Can Lower it Instantly](https://www.india.com/health/suffering-from-high-blood-pressure-this-one-exercise-can-lower-it-instantly-5068790/)

## 2. Stretching

Stretching is an effective exercise to increase the length of the penis, but it is also useful to increase the girth. Try not to overdo it as it may cause pain.

How to do it: Hold the base of your penis with one hand and use the other hand to hold behind the glans. Now, pull your penis in opposite direction. You will feel your penis stretching. Hold it for 10 seconds and then release. Stretch and hold the penis in all the following directions, up, down, right and left. Do this exercise for five minutes twice a day.(**ALSO READ** [**Best foods for your penis: 10 super foods to improve phallic health & performance**](https://www.india.com/lifestyle/best-foods-for-your-penis-10-super-foods-improve-phallic-health-performance-1692251/)).

## 3. Squeezing

This is one of the easiest and effective exercises to increase the girth of the penis but do not overdo it.

How to do it: For this exercises, your penis must be fully erect. Now, hold the base of your penis by forming an ‘OK’ grip, in which you put your index finger and the thumb together. Use your other hand to squeeze different parts of the penis along the shaft. Start from the base and move up slowly. Stop before you reach the glans. The pressure caused by the squeezing will stretch the tissue of the penis. Do this exercise for five minutes, twice a day. (**ALSO READ** [**5 things every woman must know about using a lube!**](https://www.india.com/lifestyle/5-things-every-woman-must-know-about-using-a-lube-1886934/)).

## 4. Jelqing

Jelqing is another great exercise to increase the girth of the penis. You should do jelqing when the penis is partially erect and not fully erect. This exercise will improve circulation of blood in your penis and can increase the girth and length of the penis.

How to do it: Start by stroking your penis and when it is partially erect, hold it with the ‘OK’ grip. Your grip should put a slight pressure on the penis. Now, slowly move up the shaft applying the pressure until you reach the glans. Repeat this for around 10 minutes. Do this exercise for a couple of months to see the difference.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qg49iy
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