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I wish Mia Khalifa was my mom
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Mommy went shopping, and never came
home. Daddy was sad, and felt so alone.
One day daddy pulled in, driving his blue Kia,
a lady stepped out, "Hi I'm Mia!"
Daddy was happy, with a lady so pretty. I
walked in on her changing, and seen her big
titties.
Daddy was old fashion, taught her his ways,
she spanked me hard often, for making bad
grades. I hate washing dishes, laundry was my
favorite chore, her dirty panties and gym
shorts I sniffed behind closed doors.
We watched movies and played games, just
her and I, she made me peach cobbler, and
bragged of dads cream pie. My friends were
jealous, when they came over to play, they
told me if I don't fuck her, they would call me
gay.
Sitting at the kitchen table eating spaghetti,
low cut tank and geek glasses gave an urge to
bust my confetti. Daddy is working late, won't
be home til 6 o'clock, I chug my glass of
cherry kool aid and whip out my cock.
"I can't believe it! You're hung like a horse!"
She lays on the table and we have hardcore
intercourse. 3 weeks without fap and when I
bust my load, she shoots out the window and
lands in the road. She runs back in and ask
for more, all the sudden daddy walks in
He falls in the floor and starts to cry,
screaming over and over "it's bigger than
mine" I must be punished for the damage I've
done, daddy signed over his rights and made
me an orphan.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qefkvh
home. Daddy was sad, and felt so alone.
One day daddy pulled in, driving his blue Kia,
a lady stepped out, "Hi I'm Mia!"
Daddy was happy, with a lady so pretty. I
walked in on her changing, and seen her big
titties.
Daddy was old fashion, taught her his ways,
she spanked me hard often, for making bad
grades. I hate washing dishes, laundry was my
favorite chore, her dirty panties and gym
shorts I sniffed behind closed doors.
We watched movies and played games, just
her and I, she made me peach cobbler, and
bragged of dads cream pie. My friends were
jealous, when they came over to play, they
told me if I don't fuck her, they would call me
gay.
Sitting at the kitchen table eating spaghetti,
low cut tank and geek glasses gave an urge to
bust my confetti. Daddy is working late, won't
be home til 6 o'clock, I chug my glass of
cherry kool aid and whip out my cock.
"I can't believe it! You're hung like a horse!"
She lays on the table and we have hardcore
intercourse. 3 weeks without fap and when I
bust my load, she shoots out the window and
lands in the road. She runs back in and ask
for more, all the sudden daddy walks in
He falls in the floor and starts to cry,
screaming over and over "it's bigger than
mine" I must be punished for the damage I've
done, daddy signed over his rights and made
me an orphan.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qefkvh
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Having anything to do with a dick is totally gay
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Having anything to do with a dick is totally gay bro.
Straight girls are gay as hell, you like dicks? What are you, gay? You know what else is gay? Being a dude, bro. Why the fuck you got a dick homie? That's gay as hell. You are gay unless you are a gay girl, then you aren't into dick so you are straight.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qee5p2
Straight girls are gay as hell, you like dicks? What are you, gay? You know what else is gay? Being a dude, bro. Why the fuck you got a dick homie? That's gay as hell. You are gay unless you are a gay girl, then you aren't into dick so you are straight.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qee5p2
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Raise your hand if you donโt care
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Raise your hand if you donโt care
๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qednl1
๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ๐๐ป๐๐ผ๐๐ฝ๐๐พ๐๐ฟ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฟโโ๏ธ
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qednl1
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copypasta_bot
jew lie detector test moment from BlacKkKlansman
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You know what I think?
You think?
Oh yeah I think.
What do you think about?
This holocaust stuff, never happened, that's the biggest Jewish conspiracy ever, eight million Jews killed concentration camps never happened, where's the proof?
Are you high?
I don't get high. I drink.
Cuz I'd say the holocaust is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, it just makes sense to me. you have a whole race of leeches that You have to get rid of, so what do you do, you starve, them you burn, them you get rid of them, it's like weeding out roots for the better people haven't you seen the footage?
That's fake! Jews run Hollywood!
Fucking hell.
Let me see your dick!
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qec164
You think?
Oh yeah I think.
What do you think about?
This holocaust stuff, never happened, that's the biggest Jewish conspiracy ever, eight million Jews killed concentration camps never happened, where's the proof?
Are you high?
I don't get high. I drink.
Cuz I'd say the holocaust is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, it just makes sense to me. you have a whole race of leeches that You have to get rid of, so what do you do, you starve, them you burn, them you get rid of them, it's like weeding out roots for the better people haven't you seen the footage?
That's fake! Jews run Hollywood!
Fucking hell.
Let me see your dick!
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qec164
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Sucking your own dick does feel good.
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So a couple of months ago I found out that I was able to suck my own ***dick***. And when I say suck my own ***dick*** I don't mean simply licking the tip of ***penis***. I mean full on deepthroating my entire ***cock***. When I first found out about this I was so excited and I immediately began sucking my knob.
I realised it was really pleasurable. It felt less like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. There was LOTS OF pleasure and it wasn't completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I was able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since none of the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth and it was what I was looking for you know? And yes, it was because my head game was good. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, someone sucking your ***dick*** is nowhere near comparable to sucking your own ***dick***. It is as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I will stick to sucking myself off.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qebnjv
I realised it was really pleasurable. It felt less like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. There was LOTS OF pleasure and it wasn't completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I was able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since none of the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth and it was what I was looking for you know? And yes, it was because my head game was good. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, someone sucking your ***dick*** is nowhere near comparable to sucking your own ***dick***. It is as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I will stick to sucking myself off.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qebnjv
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Sucking your own dick doesnโt feel good.
Show content
So a couple of months ago I found out that I was able to suck my own ***dick***. And when I say suck my own ***dick*** I don't mean simply licking the tip of ***penis***. I mean full on deepthroating my entire ***cock***. When I first found out about this I was so excited and I immediately began sucking my knob.
Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, sucking your own ***dick*** is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qea06k
Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, sucking your own ***dick*** is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qea06k
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Sucking your own dick doesn't feel good.
Show content
So a couple of months ago I found out that I was able to suck my own ***dick***. And when I say suck my own ***dick*** I don't mean simply licking the tip of ***penis***. I mean full on deepthroating my entire ***cock***. When I first found out about this I was so excited and I immediately began sucking my knob.
Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, sucking your own ***dick*** is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe8nwp
Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, sucking your own ***dick*** is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe8nwp
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
When you downvote an r/antiwork post
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You are in your room. You downvote a antiwork post. You begin shaking. In the span of seconds, you become a hivemind controlling a multimillion dollar company. Your stock immediately appears on the NASDAQ, priced in at some exorbitant price. A skyscraper bearing your logo and owned by you appears in the CBD of a major city. You now control hundreds of employees, extensions of you like your fingers. A multi thousand dollar suit and tie snaps onto you, a Rolex appearing on your wrist and inhumanely sourced leather shoes appear on your feet. Your former life is forgotten. You are now a multimillion dollar company. Get fucked antiwork.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe7dse
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe7dse
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Sucking your own dick doesn't feel good.
Show content
So a couple of months ago I found out that I was able to suck my own ***dick***. And when I say suck my own ***dick*** I don't mean simply licking the tip of ***penis***. I mean full on deepthroating my entire ***cock***. When I first found out about this I was so excited and I immediately began sucking my knob.
Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, sucking your own ***dick*** is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe60l8
Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's ***dick*** than somebody sucking MY ***dick***. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a ***penis*** in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking ***dick*** in my mouth.
It was a surreal experience to feel all my ***cock*** veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at ***dick*** sucking because of my special ability.
So yeah, sucking your own ***dick*** is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be.
I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe60l8
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
My Roommate Left His Dildo on the Shower Wall...AGAIN!
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I have a shared bathroom with another room mate. There are three guys in our home; one guy owns the condo and he has a master bedroom and bathroom to himself. Me and this other guy have separate rooms to ourselves and share a bathroom.
Let me say that I do not care how you get your stress down. If you want to get your jollies by going off in the shower, that's ok. What is not ok is to leave a dildo against the wall of the shower. At least take it off the wall (preferably clean and bleach where you were). I can understand we have our needs but this is extremely unhygienic. I figure I have him pass the second time before I bring it up with our older roomie who is letting us rent the rooms. One side of me knows that this guy is going through all kinds of stress but this other part is just getting tired with how germy and gross this is.
Third time I am willing to get him kicked out.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe4uwp
Let me say that I do not care how you get your stress down. If you want to get your jollies by going off in the shower, that's ok. What is not ok is to leave a dildo against the wall of the shower. At least take it off the wall (preferably clean and bleach where you were). I can understand we have our needs but this is extremely unhygienic. I figure I have him pass the second time before I bring it up with our older roomie who is letting us rent the rooms. One side of me knows that this guy is going through all kinds of stress but this other part is just getting tired with how germy and gross this is.
Third time I am willing to get him kicked out.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe4uwp
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
The Rock Eyebrow Raise
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โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ บโฃโขโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโขโกโ โ โ โขโฃญโฃฝโกโขฎโฃฒโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโกผโ โ โ โ โ โ ปโฃ
โฃจโ โ โ โ ฐโฃโฃโฃโกโ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโขทโฃถโ ถโฃโขโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขฟโ โ โ โ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โขโก โ โกโฃโ โ โ โขปโ โ โ โฃ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โกถโฃธโ โ โฃ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโกโ โ โ โ ขโขคโฃโกฐโ โ โ โ โขถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃโฃโกโ โขโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโฃโฃโ โฃโฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe42vl
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe42vl
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I love smoking Marlboro, it's my favorite thing. Every morning I wake up, light up a red on the back porch and chop a line.
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I've love smoking Marlboro, it's my favorite thing. Every morning I wake up, light up a red on the back porch and chop a line. Rip it, rip the red, and pour a finger of bourbon and take a good sip. Then I sit and enjoy the red, watching it burn down as the sun finishes coming up, burning its way into our atmosphere, incinerating the black sky blue. It's a beautiful ritual. Then, I basically do whatever I want. My reds always smoke down past the filter, they don't give up, and when they do go out, they go out hard. It reflects the owner.
Sometime later in the day, I have to make a call to my friend who is flying into town later in the week. I have just finished a similar ritual to when I wake up, except it is now time for my red. I put my phone on speaker, set it on the table on the porch, and light up a red. My yellow stained fingers look at home with the black lettering printed "MARLBORO" around the base of the filter between my fingers. Buddy answers the phone, and we talk for about 35 minutes before he has to go. I finish my 2nd cigarette, and press my left hand index finger tip into the glowing ember of the still burning cig, to extinguish it with my guitar playing callus. Then I look into my next door neighbors yard where he is cutting the lawn on his riding mower. I pretend to be admiring the clouds, but when he makes his next stripe pass on his lawn and his back is turned to me, I flick my Marlboro butt into his yard, finish my bourbon, and throw my whiskey glass into his yard too. Then I casually get into my truck. As I drive down the street, one of my favorite song comes on the radio, as soon as I turn onto the road. It's Overkill by Motorhead. Somehow, it is now about 7:30 PM, and the sky is turning into a gradient of blue->orange->pink-> purple, with dark Grey clouds scattered amongst the watercolor-esque hues. This phenomena is one of my favorite parts of being alive. I take a deep breathe of fresh air and feel the euphoria of life hit me in the gut like a gravel train full of bricks duct taped and zip tied to a ballistic missile slamming into the concrete at Mach 11. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and ice that I put in my nose earlier. No, I decide, it was just me.
On the way home, I stop and pick up another bottle of bourbon. The girl I have at my house today is hungry, and I am hungry in theory too, so I stop to pick up the Chinese food I ordered 25 minutes ago. The restaurant is an ornate building set back from the road about 1/4 mile, with an overgrowth of trees blocking the view of the restaurant from the road. This makes the experience of driving into the cracked asphalt parking lot seem more like entering the clearing of a jungle, to a mysterious, elegant palace, than pulling into the place where I drank way too much Sake after I turned 21 and fell asleep in the woodchips next to a relic 67 Camaro SS after my friends girlfriends birthday party. Or maybe that's just the whiskey.
Once I'm home eating the food, it becomes apparent just how decadent my life has become. I have eaten 3/4 of this rich, high end chinese-american meal, sitting across from my girlfriend of the day, who happens to have thick, straight dirty blonde hair, a tight body, and a vertical driver's license. It's about 9:00, and just about dark. She falls asleep on the couch, which has just seen things that the internet only wishes it had the pleasure of viewing.
I decide to go for a drive, since my companion has fallen into the depth of a Chinese food coma, and rightfully so, I am hoping she enjoys her blissful rest. One of my best friends calls me and asks if I want to come hang out for a while. It's always the same thing with him, we sit on his driveway, smoke joints that resemble .50 caliber anti material ammunition, and cause his neighbors to flick their lights on when we wake them up with our laughter. And I love it. I realize it's no time to be wired, as I do need to sleep that night, since I have a massively critical meeting the next day, so I reach into my hiding spot, and gather 1 red seconal, and 3 Valium. I reminisce in my head about how it got to be this way, quickly coming to the conclusion that, I am not sure, but I am sure glad that it did. As I feel my body shiver with euphoric relaxation, and blissful energy overtakes my soul, I think of the girl I really miss, the last one I allowed myself to have feelings for, that I haven't seen In a few years, as she took her journey in one direction, and I took mine in several others. I smile at the memories. Just then one of my other favorite songs, a cover of Bob Seger's Turn the Page by Metallica comes on, and I feel a lump of euphoria once again hit me square in the stomach like an anvil being propelled out of the navy's rail gun at 25,000 feet per second. Except this time, once I hear the song, it spreads throughout my body, like an exquisite delicacy of blissful mercury flowing through my veins.
As I pull around the overgrown corner on the last bend of my friends street, littered with luxury homes, that all happen to have a very similar design, almost like the developers did not try very hard at all to hide their greed, but nonetheless, a very nice neighborhood, I come into view of my best friend standing in his driveway. And look who happens to be next to him, my other best friend. Both of them are smiling and I am now giddy like a child who just got permission to drink the other half of a 2 liter of mountain dew and play Grand theft auto for the first time. I haven't seen either of them in what seems like forever, as this last year has been a whirlwind of failing, succeeding, but mostly not giving up and not giving An inch. And, today, it seems like it has all been worth it. I put out my Marlboro on my finger again before I jump out of the truck, shake their hands, and my friend hands me the joint they're smoking. Welcome home.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe2l57
Sometime later in the day, I have to make a call to my friend who is flying into town later in the week. I have just finished a similar ritual to when I wake up, except it is now time for my red. I put my phone on speaker, set it on the table on the porch, and light up a red. My yellow stained fingers look at home with the black lettering printed "MARLBORO" around the base of the filter between my fingers. Buddy answers the phone, and we talk for about 35 minutes before he has to go. I finish my 2nd cigarette, and press my left hand index finger tip into the glowing ember of the still burning cig, to extinguish it with my guitar playing callus. Then I look into my next door neighbors yard where he is cutting the lawn on his riding mower. I pretend to be admiring the clouds, but when he makes his next stripe pass on his lawn and his back is turned to me, I flick my Marlboro butt into his yard, finish my bourbon, and throw my whiskey glass into his yard too. Then I casually get into my truck. As I drive down the street, one of my favorite song comes on the radio, as soon as I turn onto the road. It's Overkill by Motorhead. Somehow, it is now about 7:30 PM, and the sky is turning into a gradient of blue->orange->pink-> purple, with dark Grey clouds scattered amongst the watercolor-esque hues. This phenomena is one of my favorite parts of being alive. I take a deep breathe of fresh air and feel the euphoria of life hit me in the gut like a gravel train full of bricks duct taped and zip tied to a ballistic missile slamming into the concrete at Mach 11. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and ice that I put in my nose earlier. No, I decide, it was just me.
On the way home, I stop and pick up another bottle of bourbon. The girl I have at my house today is hungry, and I am hungry in theory too, so I stop to pick up the Chinese food I ordered 25 minutes ago. The restaurant is an ornate building set back from the road about 1/4 mile, with an overgrowth of trees blocking the view of the restaurant from the road. This makes the experience of driving into the cracked asphalt parking lot seem more like entering the clearing of a jungle, to a mysterious, elegant palace, than pulling into the place where I drank way too much Sake after I turned 21 and fell asleep in the woodchips next to a relic 67 Camaro SS after my friends girlfriends birthday party. Or maybe that's just the whiskey.
Once I'm home eating the food, it becomes apparent just how decadent my life has become. I have eaten 3/4 of this rich, high end chinese-american meal, sitting across from my girlfriend of the day, who happens to have thick, straight dirty blonde hair, a tight body, and a vertical driver's license. It's about 9:00, and just about dark. She falls asleep on the couch, which has just seen things that the internet only wishes it had the pleasure of viewing.
I decide to go for a drive, since my companion has fallen into the depth of a Chinese food coma, and rightfully so, I am hoping she enjoys her blissful rest. One of my best friends calls me and asks if I want to come hang out for a while. It's always the same thing with him, we sit on his driveway, smoke joints that resemble .50 caliber anti material ammunition, and cause his neighbors to flick their lights on when we wake them up with our laughter. And I love it. I realize it's no time to be wired, as I do need to sleep that night, since I have a massively critical meeting the next day, so I reach into my hiding spot, and gather 1 red seconal, and 3 Valium. I reminisce in my head about how it got to be this way, quickly coming to the conclusion that, I am not sure, but I am sure glad that it did. As I feel my body shiver with euphoric relaxation, and blissful energy overtakes my soul, I think of the girl I really miss, the last one I allowed myself to have feelings for, that I haven't seen In a few years, as she took her journey in one direction, and I took mine in several others. I smile at the memories. Just then one of my other favorite songs, a cover of Bob Seger's Turn the Page by Metallica comes on, and I feel a lump of euphoria once again hit me square in the stomach like an anvil being propelled out of the navy's rail gun at 25,000 feet per second. Except this time, once I hear the song, it spreads throughout my body, like an exquisite delicacy of blissful mercury flowing through my veins.
As I pull around the overgrown corner on the last bend of my friends street, littered with luxury homes, that all happen to have a very similar design, almost like the developers did not try very hard at all to hide their greed, but nonetheless, a very nice neighborhood, I come into view of my best friend standing in his driveway. And look who happens to be next to him, my other best friend. Both of them are smiling and I am now giddy like a child who just got permission to drink the other half of a 2 liter of mountain dew and play Grand theft auto for the first time. I haven't seen either of them in what seems like forever, as this last year has been a whirlwind of failing, succeeding, but mostly not giving up and not giving An inch. And, today, it seems like it has all been worth it. I put out my Marlboro on my finger again before I jump out of the truck, shake their hands, and my friend hands me the joint they're smoking. Welcome home.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe2l57
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
If you guys are bored or stressed out hereโs some bubble wrap to pop!
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Here's some bubble wrap. ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
>!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!<
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Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdr17g
>!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!<
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Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdr17g
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I used to be a dolphins fan (NFL copypasta)
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i used to be a dolphins fan. i've been one since ever. i think since 2012 i've missed less than 10 games and that's over 130 games. i could sit down and watch every single dolphins game, lose or win. ive been through false hope and everything, but nothing ever this bad. the miami dolphins were 10-6 last season, i expected something much better. i didn't expect to beat bufallo, but i didn't expect to lose 35-0 either. then no tua, lose 3 straight. tua comes back and plays one of his best games ever(the cards game last season was better), and we still lose coz noah igbonogene is a bust. did you know that guy is a first-round pick? yeah i luv chris grier too with his awful draft picks. austin jackson? bust. everyone besides waddle and tua? bust. brian flores isn't a bad coach, but he has to do something right now to flip over this team. i was almost at my boiling point last week, but now im fr done. losing a historically bad team isn't fun to watch, and i've decided i'm not going to watch this team anymore. We lost to the worst team in the nfl. for christ's sake, WE ARE the worst team in the nfl, and i will not stand by that anymore, as i am not a dolphins fan anymore.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe1ks4
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe1ks4
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I have a serious addiction๐ค.
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I have a serious addiction๐ค. I am getting way too much money ๐ธ ๐ตand fucking ๐ฆway too many big booty hoes ๐ ๐ฅต. At first it was a hobby ๐ฅณbut at this point it is a serious crippling โฟ๏ธ addiction ๐ฉ๐ตโ๐ซ. I have fallen ๐จ๐พโ๐ฆผ into a deep depression ๐ญ and I contemplate my existence on this earth ๐ beyond capitalistic greed and sexual eroticism๐ค.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe0jnq
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qe0jnq
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
My school is using Google Classroom and I hate this piece of shit (found on r/teenagers)
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I hate Google Classroom because it's fucking useless, I can just play GTA Online 18 hours a day and my teachers won't give a fuck about this because of shitroom, why the fuck my school just couldn't use Discord? I can't stand even logging in to this because this shit automatically uses my main account which isn't using shitroom -.-
They can't even use Skype, they have to use fuckroom which makes me not able to talk people even more (Asperger's + getting rejected 4815162342 times + no social interactions for 2 weeks + my maths teacher already said that we won't use our webcams) and I'm afraid that I'll become even more retarded than Lester from GTA V
TL;DR i fucking hate schools in poland
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdzkoo
They can't even use Skype, they have to use fuckroom which makes me not able to talk people even more (Asperger's + getting rejected 4815162342 times + no social interactions for 2 weeks + my maths teacher already said that we won't use our webcams) and I'm afraid that I'll become even more retarded than Lester from GTA V
TL;DR i fucking hate schools in poland
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdzkoo
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MY TEACHER IS MAKING ME WRITE A PAPER ON THE ''UYGHUR GENOCIDE" - r/GenZedong
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MY TEACHER IS MAKING ME WRITE A
PAPER ON THE ''UYGHUR GENOCIDE
So in this last year of high school, there is this a class
called "Modern world" (translation: "Endoctrination to
the anglo world order")
We have to write a paper on a genocide that is
happening or happened in the 20th or 21th century, the
causes, the perpetrators, the reaction of the
international community, etc.
We were ASSIGNED a specific genocide to write about.
I got the "Uyghur genocide".
That teacher is an obvious "China bad" fellah.
borderline "Biden is a Chinese agent" idiot, who told us
China banned Winnie the Pooh because of Xi being
mad.
Watch me write a paper debunking this bullshit Imao
Edit: Thank you everyone for your overwhelming
support. The due date is December 13th. I will update
everyone on the paper and how the teacher reacts. I'm
saving everyone's sources to see if I'll use them down
the line.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdyq5c
PAPER ON THE ''UYGHUR GENOCIDE
So in this last year of high school, there is this a class
called "Modern world" (translation: "Endoctrination to
the anglo world order")
We have to write a paper on a genocide that is
happening or happened in the 20th or 21th century, the
causes, the perpetrators, the reaction of the
international community, etc.
We were ASSIGNED a specific genocide to write about.
I got the "Uyghur genocide".
That teacher is an obvious "China bad" fellah.
borderline "Biden is a Chinese agent" idiot, who told us
China banned Winnie the Pooh because of Xi being
mad.
Watch me write a paper debunking this bullshit Imao
Edit: Thank you everyone for your overwhelming
support. The due date is December 13th. I will update
everyone on the paper and how the teacher reacts. I'm
saving everyone's sources to see if I'll use them down
the line.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdyq5c
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Itโs cringy when adults say tummy instead of stomach [from r/unpopularopinion]
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The word tummy should be used only when speaking to a child. Tummy is infantile and cringy when adults use it to describe their stomach. โMy tummy hurtsโ spoken by an adult makes me furious. No, your tummy doesnโt hurt, your stomach hurts. Tummy ache? Not a sentence that should be spoken by an adult.
The disdain I feel for this word is something that I feel from the pit of my stomach. Yes, stomach. Not tummy.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdyfnc
The disdain I feel for this word is something that I feel from the pit of my stomach. Yes, stomach. Not tummy.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdyfnc
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
People With Big Penises Should Be Executed
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Yesterday I was in a daze. I had gotten into a heated argument on Reddit on whether or not r/averageredditor is filled with the same kinds of people it claims to detest. I thought I had thoroughly defeated my opponent's reasoning, but then he told me he'd fuck my mom. But when he did, I found out the hard way that his penis was so long and hard that when he put it all inside, it caused my mom's innards to be pierced by his mammoth dong. Blood and cum came all out of her vagina. The guy with the big penis came out unscathed, even though I saw shit going into his urethra. Sadly though, my mom died. RIP.
Today I was trying to overcome this great trauma by fapping to rule 34. However, a teenage fuck, also with a massive dong, thought it would be funny if he aimed his ejaculated at me through my window. However, his aim was off. But not in a good way. His cum managed to go inside of my PC case and cause it to die. My 3000tb porn collection was now completely gone. But, when I tried to do the same thing to the guy who destroyed my PC, my wimpy cock couldn't even let out one good drop of jizz.
​
Big penises oppress. My aunt died after deepthroating a ginormous pp. Jocks slapped me in high school with penises I could never even hope to have just to spite me. Fuck the dongicracy. Fuck the pparchy. I want these fuckers to get a taste of their own medicine, and die deepthroating the biggest dong of them all, my anime waifu's giant futa cock.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdxqm3
Today I was trying to overcome this great trauma by fapping to rule 34. However, a teenage fuck, also with a massive dong, thought it would be funny if he aimed his ejaculated at me through my window. However, his aim was off. But not in a good way. His cum managed to go inside of my PC case and cause it to die. My 3000tb porn collection was now completely gone. But, when I tried to do the same thing to the guy who destroyed my PC, my wimpy cock couldn't even let out one good drop of jizz.
​
Big penises oppress. My aunt died after deepthroating a ginormous pp. Jocks slapped me in high school with penises I could never even hope to have just to spite me. Fuck the dongicracy. Fuck the pparchy. I want these fuckers to get a taste of their own medicine, and die deepthroating the biggest dong of them all, my anime waifu's giant futa cock.
Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdxqm3
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copypasta_bot
i FUCKED your mother. GET THAT STRAIGHT NOW. I DID THE NASTY WITH YOUR FUCKING BIOLOGICAL MOTHER AND now you better get OVER IT. Sorry to tell you you aren't getting a brother as I didn't inject my semen into her, but I did put my mega-penis into her as she would love the penis into her. Penis time
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Source: https://old.reddit.com/qdw49r
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