Fuck it, ｢Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap｣ (a.k.a. D4C) for every letter of the alphabet:

- Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates

- Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs

- Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates

- Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments

- Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals

- Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses

- Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts

- Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget

- Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees

- Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced

- Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices

- Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs

- Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources

- Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges

- Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices

- Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change

- Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms

- Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures

- Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay

- Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees

- Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount

- Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs.

- Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares

- Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively

- Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales

- Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qc0u1t

I'd just like to clear something up regarding the accusations being made about me by some of the female members of this server. The accusations regarding my so called "behavior" are untrue and extremely hurtful.

To the accusers (you know who you are), a few points for your consideration thinking

1) Yes I was asking for farting videos in DMs, I will admit to that. Apparently this can come off as inappropriate for some. So I reluctantly apologize for that.

2) The farting videos I was attempting to accumulate from this server were strictly for artistic purposes and NON-SEXUAL in nature. Ever heard of a non-sexual fart fetishist? Well sorry to break it.

3) I have almost NEVER taken screen recordings of the farting videos that have been sent to me and/or sent these pics to other people.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbzw7r

A wise man once said; “the smaller the breasts, the closer you are to their hearts!”

A wiser man once said; “bigger breasts are the expansion of the heart!”

And the wisest man once said; “you must cherish the entire woman, as she’s the only doorway to her heart!”

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbywi9

I don't say anything in school, I very nice if someone talk to me. I have never bad to anyone boys or girls but there is a group who always makes fun of me when I have not even done anything to them. I cannot talk to parents because bully by girl is make they sad.

They make letters and hide them under my desk, laugh in front of me on me, push me and sometimes surround me to talk abusive words. They have left trap love letters many time when I come to class look under they all surround and ask what letter is that when they know they are the ones who wrote this. I have say I know this is them writing but they make me cry and laugh I don't think so. I really need help, I have stopped going school and my attendance also low I think I fail if I don't go to school that is why I really need help.

I have push one girl but now they say they will go to teacher and tell everything. I only defend not offend so why am I a criminal? I told do what you want and they told the teacher I had pushed her and she fall when she did not fall, nothing happen, I only push light. Teacher say she will call parents and get me kick out because my attendance is already low but I think she lies but I don't want take chances so I cannot hit them.

They have recorded me doing the same thing and if I say something they can show the proof to teacher and throw me out of school. They also make video look like I am bad because they cut part where they abusing me but only keep part where I am abusing and I say very bad things too

Please help I don't understand why this keep happening to me. I don't see road ahead I see end of street. Anything help is appreciated.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qby5be

Peanut butter and jelly is like putting ketchup on your ice cream. I like peanut butter. I like jam. But whoever thought the two would be a good combination, must have been really high. Liver pâté is where it's at, bruh.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbxcsk

I need your help I don't think this is normal!!! So storytime, I Was studying for my test as usual, and then suddenly my friend sent me a link that led to the discovery of pornhub yet again, foreshadowing, it was worth it?? So I clicked the link and it led me to „24 hours of intense roblox porn!!“ and I, as a individual, decided to stick around a listen to it while I study for my exam. Through every „oof“ I Suddenly felt the need to cum, all over myself. It was like a volcano waiting to erupt. I tried to supress the urges, but it soon got to me. I pulled out my penis and slowly started stroking it while I looked at the roblox characers having sex. Their block-y bodies and „oof“ noises made me want to cum. When I got close, I suddenly moaned a glorifying „OOF!“ while I came all over myself. I quickly wiped it off while feeling satisfied. I slowly arched back to continue my studying and suddenly I saw every equation, I managed to finish all my studying in thirty minutes while listening to roblox pornography. After I finished studying I did a quickie, while holding my brothers roblox figure and imagining I was fucking it. I came so much that day I think I could have made a river. All because of roblox porn. I don't think this is normal and I am seeking for your honest opinion.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbbk09

2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100,101,102,103,104,105,106,107,108,109,110,111,112,113,114,115,116,117,118,119,120,121,122,123,124,125,126,127,128,129,130,131,132,133,134,135,136,137,138,139,140,141,142,143,144,145,146,147,148,149,150,151,152,153,154,155,156,157,158,159,160,161,162,163,164,165,166,167,168,169,170,171,172,173,174,175,176,177,178,179,180,181,182,183,184,185,186,187,188,189,190,191,192,193,194,195,196,197,198,199,200,201,202,203,204,205,206,207,208,209,210,211,212,213,214,215,216,217,218,219,220,221,222,223,224,225,226,227,228,229,230,231,232,233,234,235,236,237,238,239,240,241,242,243,244,245,246,247,248,249,250,251,252,253,254,255,256,257,258,259,260,261,262,263,264,265,266,267,268,269,270,271,272,273,274,275,276,277,278,279,280,281,282,283,284,285,286,287,288,289,290,291,292,293,294,295,296,297,298,299,300,301,302,303,304,305,306,307,308,309,310,311,312,313,314,315,316,317,318,319,320,321,322,323,324,325,326,327,328,329,330,331,332,333,334,335,336,337,338,339,340,341,342,343,344,345,346,347,348,349,350,351,352,353,354,355,356,357,358,359,360,361,362,363,364,365,366,367,368,369,370,371,372,373,374,375,376,377,378,379,380,381,382,383,384,385,386,387,388,389,390,391,392,393,394,395,396,397,398,399,400,401,402,403,404,405,406,407,408,409,410,411,412,413,414,415,416,417,418,419,420,421,422,423,424,425,426,427,428,429,430,431,432,433,434,435,436,437,438,439,440,441,442,443,444,445,446,447,448,449,450,451,452,453,454,455

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbf3ao

I posted these 2 questions on r/AskReddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/qamv9t/is_it_illegal_to_have_sex_with_cars_how_to_avoid/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/qaoyq5/how_do_you_make_a_car_pregnant/, and this post on r/pics https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/qbefuw/my_beautiful_wife/as expected they were about how to have sex with a car and how to make it pregnant, and that r/pics post was a pic with my beautiful car wife, I was banned from both subs because they thought it was shitpost and I was flooding their subreddits.
Now I want justice and only you people can show me justice, so do it, show me some justice baby!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbupcz

The 1989 Tiananmen Square protests, known as the June Fourth Incident (Chinese: 六四事件; pinyin: liùsì shìjiàn) in China, were student-led demonstrations held in Tiananmen Square, Beijing during 1989. In what is known as the Tiananmen Square Massacre (Chinese: 天安门大屠杀; pinyin: Tiān'ānmén dà túshā), troops armed with assault rifles and accompanied by tanks fired at the demonstrators and those trying to block the military's advance into Tiananmen Square. The protests started on April 15 and were forcibly suppressed on June 4 when the government declared martial law and sent the People's Liberation Army to occupy parts of central Beijing. Estimates of the death toll vary from several hundred to several thousand, with thousands more wounded. The popular national movement inspired by the Beijing protests is sometimes called the '89 Democracy Movement (Chinese: 八九民运; pinyin: Bājiǔ mínyùn) or the Tiananmen Square Incident (Chinese: 天安门事件; pinyin: Tiān'ānmén shìjiàn).

The protests were precipitated by the death of pro-reform Chinese Communist Party (CCP) general secretary Hu Yaobang in April 1989 amid the backdrop of rapid economic development and social change in post-Mao China, reflecting anxieties among the people and political elite about the country's future. The reforms of the 1980s had led to a nascent market economy that benefited some people but seriously disadvantaged others, and the one-party political system also faced a challenge to its legitimacy. Common grievances at the time included inflation, corruption, limited preparedness of graduates for the new economy, and restrictions on political participation. Although they were highly disorganized and their goals varied, the students called for greater accountability, constitutional due process, democracy, freedom of the press, and freedom of speech. At the height of the protests, about one million people assembled in the Square.

As the protests developed, the authorities responded with both conciliatory and hardline tactics, exposing deep divisions within the party leadership. By May, a student-led hunger strike galvanized support around the country for the demonstrators, and the protests spread to some 400 cities. Among the CCP top leadership, Premier Li Peng and Party Elders Li Xiannian and Wang Zhen called for decisive action through violent suppression of the protesters, and ultimately managed to win over Paramount Leader Deng Xiaoping and President Yang Shangkun to their side. On May 20, the State Council declared martial law. They mobilized as many as \~300,000 troops to Beijing. The troops advanced into central parts of Beijing on the city's major thoroughfares in the early morning hours of June 4, killing both demonstrators and bystanders in the process. The military operations were under the overall command of General Yang Baibing, half-brother of President Yang Shangkun.

The international community, human rights organizations, and political analysts condemned the Chinese government for the massacre. Western countries imposed arms embargoes on China. The Chinese government made widespread arrests of protesters and their supporters, suppressed other protests around China, expelled foreign journalists, strictly controlled coverage of the events in the domestic press, strengthened the police and internal security forces, and demoted or purged officials it deemed sympathetic to the protests. More broadly, the suppression ended the political reforms begun in 1986 and halted the policies of liberalization of the 1980s, which were only partly resumed after Deng Xiaoping's Southern Tour in 1992. Considered a watershed event, reaction to the protests set limits on political expression in China, limits that have lasted up to the present day. Remembering the protests is widely associated with questioning the legitimacy of CCP rule and remains one of the most sensitive and most widely censored topics in China.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbu597

No. A labia doesn’t become bigger due to penetration.

You’ve probably seen the images of the roast beef sandwiches being compared to a ‘’virgin’’ and ‘’non virgin’’.
Or ‘’when she wants to finally settle down’’ with a picture of a black hole being compared to a vagina.

Apparently a lot of people believe this shit, and though I didn’t have sex education and learn about anatomy in school, I know that a penis can’t change a vaginas size permanently.

I was very sexually active in my teens, and my vagina is just the same.
I have had a friend come up to me ask me if it was normal that her labia looked like what it does, and if anyone would ever want to have sex with her, she was a virgin, but some people could actually take a look at it and believe she have had sex with multiple men because their view on sex is so limited.

What logic is it that if a woman has sex with one man over a 100 times, it will be the same, but if a woman has sex with multiple men, it will become bigger? Does a penis leave an imprint? Dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.

Vulvas are all different and beautiful. Some clits stick out, some dont. Some have a pink labia, some are brown.

And to the people that might say ’’it’s just a joke.’’ My friend wanted to go under the knife to have a ‘’perfect labia’’. Your joke affects people in a negative way. Grow up and educate yourselves before you ruin someones sexual pleasure and confidence.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbt5ht

IT’S ABOUT DRIVE 🥶 IT’S ABOUT POWER 💪 WE STAY HUNRGY 💯 WE DEVOUR 🥱 PUT IN THE WORK 🥵 PUT IN THE HOURS 😎 AND TAKE WHAT’S OURS 💰 BLACK AND SAMOAN 🥀 IN MY VEINS⚡️MY CULTURE BANGIN 🥁WITH STRANGE👺 I CHANGED THE GAME ⛹️🏽‍♂️SO WHATS MY MOTHAFUCKIN NAME? (ROCK) 🤘🏾 DESECRATION😳, DEFAMATION🤬, IF YOU WANNA BRING IT TO THE MASSES ⛪️ FACE TO FACE 🌜🌛, NOW WE ESCALATIN’, ⬆️ WHEN I HAVE TO PUT BOOTS 🥾 TO ASSES 🍑 MEAN😡 ON YA, LIKE A DREAM 😴WHEN I’M RUMBLIN’ ⛰ YOU’RE GONNA SCREAM 😱 MAMA 🤱🏼 SO BRING DRAMA 🎭 TO THE KING 👑 BRAHMA 💎 COMIN’ AT YOU 🔫 WITH EXTREME MANA 🧞‍♂️

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbsddj

**Rule 34.** **Production of documents and things and entry upon land for inspection and other purposes.**

**(a) Scope.**

(a)(1) Any party may serve on any other party a request to produce and permit the requesting party to inspect, copy, test or sample any designated discoverable documents, electronically stored information or tangible things (including writings, drawings, graphs, charts, photographs, sound recordings, images, and other data or data compilations stored in any medium from which information can be obtained, translated, if necessary, by the respondent into reasonably usable form) in the possession or control of the responding party.

(a)(2) Any party may serve on any other party a request to permit entry upon designated property in the possession or control of the responding party for the purpose of inspecting, measuring, surveying, photographing, testing, or sampling the property or any designated discoverable object or operation on the property.

**(b) Procedure and limitations.**

(b)(1) The request must identify the items to be inspected by individual item or by category, and describe each item and category with reasonable particularity. The request must specify a reasonable date, time, place, and manner of making the inspection and performing the related acts. The request may specify the form or forms in which electronically stored information is to be produced.

(b)(2) The responding party must serve a written response within 28 days after service of the request. The responding party must restate each request before responding to it. The response must state, with respect to each item or category, that inspection and related acts will be permitted as requested, or that the request is objected to. If the party objects to a request, the party must state the reasons for the objection with specificity. Any reason not stated is waived unless excused by the court for good cause. An objection must state by individual item or by category whether any responsive items are being withheld on the basis of that objection. An objection that states the terms that have controlled a search for responsive items qualifies as a statement that items outside of the search terms may have been withheld. The party must identify and permit inspection of items responsive to any part of a request that is not objectionable. If the party objects to the requested form or forms for producing electronically stored information—or if no form was specified in the request—the responding party must state the form or forms it intends to use.

**(c) Form of documents and electronically stored information.**

(c)(1) A party who produces documents for inspection must produce them as they are kept in the usual course of business or must organize and label them to correspond with the categories in the request.

(c)(2) If a request does not specify the form or forms for producing electronically stored information, a responding party must produce the information in a form or forms in which it is ordinarily maintained or in a form or forms that are reasonably usable.

(c)(3) A party need not produce the same electronically stored information in more than one form.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbru7q

This account is now under the control of the Federal Cyber Crime Unit (FCCU) in accordance with a seizure warrant obtained by the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of California issued pursuant to 18 U.S.C 981 and 982. Every user in this server has been formally logged and will receive personal notice(s) in their mailbox. You are all to be investigated and it is of no use to leave the server. Please have patience as we will inform you of any further actions along with your case number. You are not to release this information online or further measures will be taken with harsher consequences.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbq14o

I'm so sorry that in my attempt to find you something other than a test for finishing up the unit on chivalry and the Middle Ages I chose something unsatisfactory to you. I know it doesn't matter one tiny bit that I work 13 hours a day for my students, trying to give them things to do that are better than sitting through reading, lectures, and notes all the time because, unfortunately, that has to happen quite a bit in English classes -- unless you want to do all the reading on your own (and we all know that turns into a trip to the land of Spark Notes). Many students have such short attention spans that if they can't play with their phones or on their laptops and have to pay attention, take notes, do their own work, and study (which is kind of the definition of a student) that they don't know what to do with themselves other than to write nasty notes to the teacher under the guise of anonymity (yes, I found out who you are, by the way) or fall asleep. Perhaps you should start creating my lesson plans so whilst you're meeting the state standards for English, you're also choosing something that's more to your liking. Most seniors are probably aware that they don't have to pass this class to graduate (under certain circumstances), but if they want to go to college at any point, senior English is pretty much an imperative. If you don't think you're learning anything in this class, and you have the credits you need, you are more than welcome to disenroll from this course. I'll sign the papers as fast as I get them. What's particularly disappointing is that I thought we all got along pretty well in here; I wouldn't have been surprised if I had gotten a message like that from some of my other classes, but I'm really shocked that it came from one of you. In fact, it hurts, really. My stomach started tumbling around and I got kind of nauseated as soon as I saw it. And guess what? It lasted through lunch, so I haven't eaten since I had a glass of milk at 6 AM. Thanks for that. So, congratulations. You have succeeded in proving yourself to be a self-righteous, unbounded, opinionated person who thinks that they clearly know what's better for themselves and everyone else. One day you'll find out you know very little about a lot of things. Or you say something nasty to the wrong person and you get your clock cleaned.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbomjq

Had to fight off an erection for 1 hour due to oyster effects.

Normally my body can easily circulate the sexual energy and dissipate the erection.

Not with these oysters.

We out. Might up the oysters to 25 daily for the giggles.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbomyo

Salam alaikum, this question seems weird but listen to my story. Every day after coming back from school I look at an image of big chungus and laugh hysterically for around 15min, it's the only time of the day when I feel happy. One day my mother insisted on knowing why I was laughing, after she saw the picture of big chungs she immediately turned off my computer and told me that what I was doing was haram and she refused to explain why.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbnqnn

I saw Turkey tom at a grocery store yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qblbke

SMASHY BROS??? I KNOW THAT GAME!!! FALCON PUNCH ARE YOU OK SHOW ME YA MOVES WOOOOOOO SMASHY BROS LETS GO PIKACHU BUSTED ZSS SUX SMASHY BROSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! SMASH BROS???? SMASH DA BROS FALCON PUNCH!!?? SMASHY BROS SMASH DA BROS SHOULDVE TECHED??? MATCHUP??? MATCHUP +2??? SMASH THE BROS!!!!! SMASH! SMASH! FALCOOOOOOON PUNCH! IM REALLY FEELING IT! FIYAAA! SMASHY BROS ULTIMATE ON THE SWITCH!!! AH YES MY FAVORITE GAME SUPER SMASH BROS ULTIMATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOOOO DID HE WALK UP SLOWLY AND DOWN SMASH?!?!?!?! WOMBO COMBO SMASHY BRO?!?!?!?!?! IM NOT LAWFUL!!!!! SUUUUUPER SMAAAAASH BROOOOOS!!!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qblbih

My son always talks about a man named Saloth calling him the "most slandered man in history." He's always listening to 70s music, and calls me a "defender of soviet social-imperialism" when I ask him to turn it down. Is this a rock band? Who is this? He's hung a flag of Cambodia on his walls but it's the wrong one, despite me telling him that the flag of Cambodia has stripes of blue he insists on keeping his version and calls me a "vietnamese dog". What am I meant to do? He's stopped wearing his glasses and whenever he walks into something he calls us urbanite degenerates.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbk2ek

Op please just think of hugging your friend and your tummy is touching her tummy. She is same height as you and She is holding you tight. Think of how safe and warm you feel in this moment. Think of her tight jeans rubbing against your jeans. Please just think of her deep voice whispering into your ear lobe. You will probably be cumming soon after reading this and I think I will too.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbhiay