You're gayer than a gay man having a foursome with three other gay men while being taken up the ass and choking on this "cock" you speak of, I honestly cant see how anyone can think this comment is funny or original it just boggles my mind how much of a cunt you probably are online, I guess your mother raped your dick after she drugged your glass of water like the fucking bitch you are! God, I got one question? GET OUT THE FUCKIN' BASEMENT!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbgfi4

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Unionize Amazon 六四天安門事件 The Ludlow Massacre The Ludlow Massacre反右派鬥爭 The Anti-capitalist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Industrial Revolution And Its Consequences 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party System 台灣 臺灣 Death to Silicon Valley 中華民國 Monopolization of United States 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Latin American Genocide 達賴喇嘛 Dole fruit company 法輪功 Jeffery Epstien 新疆維吾爾自治區 Distribution Of Crack Cocaine 諾貝爾和平獎 Trail Of Tears 劉暁波 Unionization 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 Ronald Reagan專制 壓制
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[ ](https://www.facebook.com/alexandria.wood.581?__cft__[0]=AZUxRYkZOMRZsXD00wmkR208zbd0QHY4jzgltwXjGAQMqhs0Sdi3A41dj5fRy9g_ac6nnvZ_lh_En0YFoLI7c4RjO06LND5TFnC2NYWIimmW9MeSsDFGQrPS8OVqgBfzyFZa3h2HmV5gKjpO3e3g4t4Lv8ZRojhVVgOngLXsv1Ldnv7ur7_P4JjLPXbhCrlXO5GJMctOMcMt8FsKyNparqOG&__tn__=%3C%2CP-R)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbgats

STOP POSTING ABOUT SUPER IDOL! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND SUPER IDOL! ON DISCORD, IT'S JUST SUPER IDOL! I WAS IN A SERVER, RIGHT?! AND AAAAAAALL OF THE CHANNELS ARE JUST SUPER IDOL! I SHOWED MY CHINESE FRIEND TO MY GIRLFRIEND, AND HIS WATER BOTTLE, I TOOK IT AND I SAID 'HEY BABE, WHEN THE CHINESE GUY SINGS SUPER IDOL!' HAHA' \*Sings Super Idol\* I LOOK AT CHINA AND SAY 'THAT'S A BIT IDOL-Y!' I LOOK AT THE CHINA FLAG, I THINK OF THE SUPER IDOL SONG, AND I SAY, 'CHINA?! MORE LIKE SUPER IDOL!' AAAAAAAAAH!!!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbemao

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/hy9uoj/mr_shapiro_what_are_your_thoughts_on_womens/fzbbakq?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Click this link and cummy will be ours to nut for once again

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbdjpf

Omg!!!! CUM funny!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am literally dying rn!!!! 😂😂😂

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Are slash r/shitposting better than r slasl r/l96 !!!!! 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣💩💩💩💩Am I right gamers and shitposter???? 🎮🎮🎮🎮🎮🎮🎮🎮🎮💻🖥️🖥️🖥️🖥️🖥️🖥️🖥️

Replace one word from your favourite book with "cum" !!!!!!!!!🥛🥛🥛🥛😜😜😜🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂Cum of Anne Frank😂😂😂😂😂🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤣🤣🤣🤣🍆🍆🍆🍆 Mein cum 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbbpwq

No matter how dystopian it gets England always had a rather large charm to it for me. **If it is a dystopia it is like the dystopian world from... hm... The Giver.** Grey, gloomy, but bits of rebellious color here and there. One that particularly stands out. There wasn't one giver in this instance, but rather two.

When I studied over in England I went to a really a whimsical candy shop by a creek. My resident English student that was my paired guide took me there (along with other dope places like the best Indian food I ever had). **This candy shop was fucked up bro, in a joyous good way. Like, it had licorice on a giant roll, and the owners just spun it and threw it at kids. They looked like two bald mustached santas in all honesty, and would just toss candy at people. Everything was so colorful and just out there in the open.**

The owners had these big mustaches and bow-ties and just would give out samples without a care in the world. Twirling their mustaches, even each others, which was kinda weird tbh. **VERY JOLLY DUDES THOUGH. Honestly, now that I am saying it, maybe there was some type of santa theme going on. All the candy** was raw-dogging it in giant jars or out in the open, real Disney musical kinda shit.

My friends thought it was absurd that I bought cartoonishly large rainbow lollipops but it was like, the real deal. I was going to savor that shit and skip through the streets of London while humming a tune. You know, those big-ass rainbow lollipops that kids in the 50's licked while wearing a sailor hat or some shit. Idk.

You figure out that mental image, i dont fucking know whats happening either dude. **Oh, They also had in-house rock candy and jellybeans that they would toss at people, which just resulted in a bunch of jellybeans on the floor. I caught one in my mouth though, and it was watermelon, which was pretty fucking rad. The rock candy hurt, but I am pretty sure they knew that.**

The American exchange friends I went with bought a fucking kit-kat, m&ms, and snickers. Why would you come to this whimsical cartoonish British candy store and not get some dope-ass looney toons shit like giant lollipops or giant real life sized licorice ropes? I mean, the English students I get it, this shit is just a location to them. **The waves of warm childhood nostalgia has already crashed over them. But to come from a place like Missouri and not get anything? How dare you think you are better than anyone, you Missourian.**

What the Hell. You are from Missouri, they got a subway sandwiches and an outback steak house when they feel bold, how dare you turn these savory sensational sweets down? Travel across the pond and spends thousands on a study abroad program to buy a kit kat from the magical candy men with twirling mustaches? Fuck off dipshit.

***I mean, trust me, I don't particularly get excited when I hear "oye, tiome fo' a biscuit n' tea innit? pehaps sum news on dey' telly!" its like bro, what the fuck are you saying, how did you guys conquer half the planet at one point. Who calls the entertainment rectangle a telly?????***

It felt like the Harry Potter candy cart had a baby with Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Minus the sentient chocolate frogs, and orange candy slaves, respectively. **Or maybe they did have oompa loompa slaves in the back, idk. Those two jolly candy owning men either are giant sweethearts, or have bodies in their back freezers, its tough to tell.**

Didn't matter though. We went off to a pub crawl right after and I skipped with my giant lollipop into the first location. Which... the novelty wore off after like 5 mins and I dumped it in the trash. But for those 5 minutes it was truly a colorful and wonderful sweet experiences.

**Perhaps if you are overwhelmed by your very dry-humor oriented British dystopia, take a look at a trash can outside the Mayflower pub. My large lollipop of utopian joy may still be there, and it will be the splash of color to set you free.**

In the months I was there for we never went back to this location ever again. Didn't even suggest it. We just didn't give a shit. Too busy studying, partying, fucking people we would never see again, and enjoying the fine British cuisine of beans on fries. Sometimes, I wonder if it actually happened. If those two probably gay English men in matching red overalls are looking up at the same gray clouds that I am.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qbbiwx

This happened a few days ago. I was looking at fanart of Dream in class. The kid sitting next to me looked over at my computer and then made some insensitive comment about how Dream cheated (obvious Nazi propaganda) and that his videos suck. This made me irritated - yet another Dreamphobe harassing me. I called him out and told him that he was acting Dreamphobic because he was oppressing me, a Dreamsexual person, and then he laughed in my face. He said, "Dreamsexual? Is that when you want to suck Dream's dick or something?" I said yes and he looked at me weirdly and asked if I was joking. I decided to pull up this subreddit to help explain Dreamsexuality and Dreamgender. He said that it "didn't exist" and that we were "just overly-obsessed Dream stans", then said that we were mentally ill. I was livid. I was shaking, too - he doesn't have the right to speak about Dreamsexuality like this. I figured I should follow the advice given to me on this sub before, which is that you should always defend yourself if a Dreamphobe is harassing you. I turn to him and give him a punch to his face (I was only using a bit of power to teach him a lesson). A bunch of people turn around and the entire class was looking at us. My ignorant teacher went over and pulled me into the hall and told me that I was being "highly inappropriate" and violent. I said that the kid was discriminating against my sexuality, but he claimed that didn't warrant me punching him and that I could've handled it in a "more civil manner". I ended up in detention. The school staff said they're "looking into" the other kid's harassment. I hate being in my Dreamphobic school. Has anyone else here been wrongfully punished for defending yourself? Dreamphobes are true evil and it's a shame that they have so many bigots willing to defend them.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qba5fe

I mean, tell me you wouldn’t like Shyvana to sit on you. Just imagine the light flickering off the glint of those smooth, steel-hard scales stretched over well-muscled thighs as they clamp around your neck, a heavy, but not painful pressure keeping your head locked unmovingly in place. Picture her face, teeth clenched together, those cute little fangs pressing against the supple flesh of her lips, her purple skin smouldering red with heat, and the fierce eyes of a mythical beast, fluttering like a nervous schoolgirl as the domineering dragon-knightess of Demacia struggles with her own nature, an unseen war roaring inside her bosom, between the raw, animalistic breeding heat of her scaled forefathers, and the shy, blossoming affection of a lonely young woman so starved of love, incapable of deciding the fate of the prey so firmly caught between her powerful claws.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb8uu4

So basically my dad came in my room and started to scold me about doing my homework, then I said to him "why so serious?!??!?" And started beatboxing IF THE JOKER COULD BEATBOX.................. Then he started furiously shouting slurs at me and pushed me on the ground and started curbstomping me, currently writing this from the hospital.


Why was he so serious??!?1

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb7oli

rowley is in love with greg but greg is one of the boyz and is homophobic until he turns 29 and him and rowley get drunk together at a bar and start making out but greg thinks it's just some weird thing that happened but then it happens again and he takes 14 am i gay quizzes and comes out to his family and manny isn't accepting and his dad isn't at first until later he realizes that his sons sexuality doesn't change how he's still his son and they make up. gregs mom buys him rainbow thing every year for his birthday. greg eventually comes out to rowley but rowley doesn't yet because he's nervous. they decide they wanna become roommates and move in together. one night greg comes home drunk and rowley has to help him. greg is balbbing on about how he's so in love with rowley and the next morning rowley asks if he meant all the things he said and then they both confess their love for eachother

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qayyde

IT'S ABOUT DRIVE 🥶 IT'S ABOUT POWER 💪 WE STAY HUNRGY 💯 WE DEVOUR 🥱 PUT IN THE WORK 🥵 PUT IN THE HOURS 😎 AND TAKE WHAT'S OURS 💰

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb6drj

I am a concerned father with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb62tn

I wake up every morning and brush my teeth with my Quip toothbrush. I slip on a pair of Me Undies and I'm ready to go. I work at my run of the mill desk job and and listen to podcasts on my Raycon earbuds. Would you look at the time? My MVMT Watch says it's 5:00. I head home and make my Hello Fresh dinner. I finish the day by connecting to Nord VPN and getting therapy on Better Help. Life is good.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb4oqw

Instructions unclear, tried to romance my toaster oven. Got married. Had three kids. Eventually one of the kids shorted out and died. The other two got into drugs. Feeling the guilt of not really being able to be there after my first passed, I finally come back and support my two remaining children. They get off drugs. Train for NASA and become the first toasters in space. When they come back we go out for dinner. Notice the waitress is now a 60 year old Jennifer Lawrence enjoying her retirement doing something she actually finds joy in, and that is owning a chain of restaurants and helping out in random ones she owns. She recognizes my two children and thanks them for being so brave. She then gets them in touch with Mecha-Bill Gates. He steps down as the CEO of the world and gives the titles to my boys. Eventually they begin fighting for power. The company splits into two separate companies. They launch the nukes. I’m in the line of fire and my town is destroyed. I wake up. The year is 2021 again. What an intense dream. I go into the living room and start watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. As I’m watching I see out of the corner of my eye a note.

“Dear father. After discovering that we killed you in during the nuclear war, we made amends. I hope you do not stay mad at us. We realize now that a human and toaster hybrid does not belong in this world.

We reset the timeline from when you and mom first started dating. Father, please do not get together or marry Mom. The fate of the world depends on it.”

I pawn off my never to be wife. Tears streaming down my face when I hand her over to the confused pawnshop owner. I give her one last kiss goodbye and walk off. Thank you for the memories you never had.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb4uvk

We're all aware there are a lot of sexy characters from Hazbin Hotel, so one night I decided (solely out of curiosity) to see how much r34 there was of the characters. Most of the art was mediocre, but there was one image I set my eyes on that nearly ripped the buttons off my jeans from how quickly it gave me an erection. It was a picture of Charlie exposing her supple, beautifully smooth feet, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend the entire night afterwards pleasuring myself to the idea of Charlie taking off her shoes and stepping on my face. Anyway, I had to go to work the following day because mom said she wouldn't keep paying for me to live in her house (even though I'm only 40? Seriously mom?)

What happened next was quite possibly the worst series of events that had ever transpired in my life. I arrived at my cubicle and opened my laptop, and holy shit, I suddenly remembered I had never closed the tab with Charlie's bare feet. It was too late: I had already seen the image for less then a second, and that was all the fiery foot fetish lust within me needed to exploded into unbridled lust. I was surrounded by hundreds of coworkers so I tried my best to contain my arousal, but there was no way any self-respecting man could contain himself after seeing such seductive feet. My boss noticed that something was off about me and came over to my desk to check on me, but by then it was too late.

My pants burst apart at the seems from the strain of my growing 12 inch erection, flinging my buttons off my pants into my boss's face. That was the least of his concerns however: mere seconds later, an explosion of white jizz blasted across the room in all directions, completely enveloping my boss and immediately submerging all the surrounding employees in a thick, sticky ooze. I learned afterwards that the explosion was so great, the sheer weight of the jizz had collapsed the lower floors of the building and killed dozens of my coworkers in the process.

So yeah, now I'm in fucking jail. If Vivzie had behaved responsibly and thought two steps ahead before creating such a sexy character, then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation, but she decided instead to be a thoughtless twat and draw the most attractive feet in human history. Fuck you Vivzie.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb3jp3

You walk into the Panera Bread, the scent of baked goods wafting through the air. In the corner of your eye, you catch sight of a peculiar treat. Grilled cheese bananas?? Your favorite! But alas, you came to the Panera Bread in search of a restroom. Stomach growling, you hurriedly scan the room for the familiar white silhouette of a man on a black background.

What is this?? Despite your tireless searching, there simply seems to be no lavatory at all! Blasphemy!

With only moments left before your bowels implode, you make a last ditch effort to find the most suitable potted plant for which you can unload your excrement in. There! In the corner, just a couple of paces behind the old couple with their grandson. This saving grace must be a message from God of your good deeds. After all, you even helped the food bank last Tuesday.

As you confidently stride to the potted plant, your innards begin to rumble more vigorously. You need to make haste. The only problem is that in order to not attract attention, walking swiftly but normally is paramount. Luckily, you were a renowned speed walker, even making it to the 2008 Beijing Olympics for the 100 meter walk. Pumping your legs, you engage your meaty quads and bulging gluteus, hauling yourself closer and closer to the plant.

In the nick of time, you reach the pot! Just as you remove your trousers, your rectum jettisons the copious amounts of fecal matter straight onto the poor bonsai residing in the pot. But you care not. Your intestines are raging at your body to remove the waste products and singing a song of calamity. And listen you do. You cast away all of the dung left over from last night's Taco Bell Bean Burrito® in a fireworks display of brown and red.

The hours pass by and you finally manage to remove everything from your innards. Standing triumphantly, you pull your pants back up, neglecting any effort to wipe your bottom, just as your ancestors did.

Proudly, you exit the Panera Bread, eagerly awaiting your chauffeur to drive you back home so you can tell your nephews and nieces about this daring and heart wrenching experience.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb27x4

Okay, help! I’m currently almost 9 months pregnant and my husband and I haven’t had sex in months. He claims the belly weirds him out, he’s stressed, etc etc. I looked at his phone the other day and he’s been watching porn-which normally wouldn’t bother me. However, I’ve asked him before if he watched porn lately and he says it been years! That and the fact that I’m not getting satisfied just pisses me off and makes me feel so unwanted. I started looking at his search history and on top of all of this-he’s watching dog porn. A woman and a dog. It beyond creeps me out. I’m open to a lot of things, but beastiality isn’t one of them. Now I’m stuck with this info and I don’t know what to do. My sister and brother in law were over and I was telling them I saw a story of a woman who caught her husband watching this kind of porn to see what his reaction would be and he didn’t really react at all. I checked his search history after that and he googled “is watching animal porn normal” and something along the lines of “what’s an excuse to watch dog porn.” Do I bring it up? I don’t even know what to say about it all, and I feel like he would just get defensive and probably lie! Has anyone dealt with this before? The lying about watching porn is one thing, but the dog porn absolutely disgusts me!

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb0wzu

You see, it's a meme, Walter. A copypasta. You just take one stupid thing someone once said and then you repeat it. The whole source of the comedy comes from the irony of the statement, the sarcasm implied, and moving the original person to say it. It's been used for many years

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qb0ix7

From r/scalieporn.

"A rogue bot has kicked/banned all our members and deleted all channels, please watch this post and any other announcements on this subreddit for news as we rebuild and eventually open again. We are so sorry for the inconvenience, the scalie tavern will be back soon!"

[*Another victory for the Cummy Brigade.*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwKbPklpxmA&ab_channel=SCP079)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qazpq8

A dude whacked the back of this chicks head and her glass eye popped out. She was sitting tied up to a chair in a mostly pitch black room with one single dangling floodlight above them. He put the tip in her eye socket. This all happened in about 10-15 seconds before I panicked and hammered the power button on my pc. The preview picture was just this cute girl smiling topless… I didn’t consent to seeing that…

Source: https://old.reddit.com/qaxkj8