I wish clown girls were an actual race of people. Their entire skin is white. The clown nose is natural. Their nipples and pussy lips, aka Clussy, have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips. Their skin probably tastes funny Imagine the taste of their breast milk. Grabbing their breasts or ass causes a honk noise. Want to playfully grope Clown wifes butt in public, loud ass honk is heard echoing from her. Everyone turns to you too, knowing full well what is going on. She embarrassingly honks her nose, trying to play it off.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5jv26

In my own personal opinion, I believe that the number 7 is a little racist. Let me explain. The reason that I think this is because if you look at the number 7 upside down, it looks like an L. Clearly showing that some races take an L because of their modern day oppression.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5rcmn

Shawty had a apple bottom jeans boots with a fur got whole club at her she aint- JESSICA DID YOU SLEEP WITH YOU GODAMN TEACHER Mr wilson? MR WILSON NO i DIDNT YES YOU DID no i didn't mom! YES YOU DID yes.. you hehehe you're little slut mom i didn't- JKAKSOOEKFJINOM OSOKAJDKDKKJM AAAAAAAAAAAAA Mom! IM TELLING YOU I WAS FAILING CHEMISTRY You're out of house what? YOU'RE OUT OF THE HOUSE PACK ALL YOUR- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PACK ALL YOUR SHIT YOU'RE OUT O U T..... work the pole, i got the bank roll imma say that i prefer em no clothes im in- i love women exposed she threw back at me i-

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5qw43

Pussy can have many flavors. From sweet and subtle, to tangy and strong. I never recommend eating whilst eating out, but for beverage pairings I would go with a lighter rosè for milder pussy. The bubbles will make the sweeter notes of berry and last night’s Tinder-Date pop. For a more refined pussy eating experience, I recommend a brut like Dom P or Pierre Jouet. But don’t pour it directly on the snatch, give the muff a good dive before you swirl your quaff.
For more pronounced pussy flavors of rich yellowtail tuna and farmhouse hay, I recommend bourbon and a fuck ton of it. Because if her pussy smells like a combo of skipjack & farmhouse hay you’re going to want hard liquor.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5q8mb

Pussy can have many flavors. From sweet and subtle, to tangy and strong. I never recommend eating whilst eating out, but for beverage pairings I would go with a lighter rosè for milder pussy. The bubbles will make the sweeter notes of berry and last night’s Tinder-Date pop. For a more refined pussy eating experience, I recommend a brut like Dom P or Pierre Jouet. But don’t pour it directly on the snatch, give the muff a good dive before you swirl your quaff.
For more pronounced pussy flavors of rich yellowtail tuna and farmhouse hay, I recommend bourbon and a fuck ton of it. Because if her pussy smells like a combo of skipjack & farmhouse hay you’re going to want hard liquor.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5pp2n

Pussy can have many flavors. From sweet and subtle, to tangy and strong. I never recommend eating whilst eating out, but for beverage pairings I would go with a lighter rosè for milder pussy. The bubbles will make the sweeter notes of berry and last night’s Tinder-Date pop. For a more refined pussy eating experience, I recommend a brut like Dom P or Pierre Jouet. But don’t pour it directly on the snatch, give the muff a good dive before you swirl your quaff.
For more pronounced pussy flavors of rich yellowtail tuna and farmhouse hay, I recommend bourbon and a fuck ton of it. Because if her pussy smells like a combo of skipjack & farmhouse hay you’re going to want hard liquor.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5oo7z

My wife said that she’ll add an extra $1000 to my lego budget this month if I leave her alone with her “special friends” and no she is NOT cheating on me. She is simply receiving sexual satisfaction from another man as I am unable to satisfy her in bed because my penis is “only” 3 inches long. Not that she would know seeing as my wife has not seen or touched my penis in over 3 years because i don’t want to contribute to the bygone notion of patriarchal leadership by continuing the problematic expectation that society has for women that they must only satisfy their partner with no regard for their satisfaction. If I have vaginal intercourse with my wife, she won’t be able to climax unless she masturbates to her favorite gay Harry Potter fan fiction erotica. And lately she won’t even let me touch her because she says “being in her presence isn’t arousing”. The last time I fingered my wife, she didn’t make a sound . The act of fingering my wife (unfortunately) caused my penis to become erect. Although it was tough, I overcame my urge to pleasure my self as not to commit telepathic rape (for those of you IGNORANT trump trds, deriving sexual satisfaction from an image of somebody (e.g. watching prn) without there full, enthusiastic consent Is rape. No exceptions. Just because my wife let me pleasure her with my hands does not automatically give me the right to pleasure myself as well). To keep my wife satisfied. She invites her biracial African American-LatinX friend Tyrone over for sex 3 times a week. Unlike me, Tyrone has a very impressive, 7 inch long penis. Tyrone satisfies my wife both vaginally and anally. She will even give him oral sex from time to time. Not only am I okay with Tyrone fucking my wife because he satisfies her in a way I cannot. But I let home bang my wife to further advance people of color in society. Every time Tyrone, a Biracial African American LatinX man, has sex with my Caucasian wife, we take one step closer to equality. I think she thinks I feel bad about it. Especially because I’m letting Tyrone live in my old apartment for free because any other landlord in the San Jose area wold certainly discriminate against him by charging him more for rent. Also so Tyrone can walk to my house instead of driving and risking being shot by a police officer at a traffic stop all because he reaches into the glovebox to grab his phone to record the officer to catch his inevitable racism on camera.

Overall I am quite happy with my relationship. Sometimes I wish I could sleep with my wife again. But if I didn’t let Tyrone come over my wife would probably commit suicide because she would be so depressed. Plus I’m to busy with my job as a full time Reddit mod for R/atheism, R/BayArea, R/chonkers, R/AHS, and most importantly, R/Teenagers. I also am currently stalking my conservative relatives on Facebook. Can’t wait for my mother to die of Covid so I can post it to R/HermanCainAward (play stupid games win stupid prizes am I right). Plus I get time to work on my lego mosaic of AOC stepping on Donald Trumps balls. It’s gonna be so cool when it’s done.

(This is sarcasm. Please don’t ban me spez)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5n0jr

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the deltarune goat so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the dark world I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Ralsei. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Ralsei's tight goat boipussy. I want him to have my mutant human/goat babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a farmer's goat. I'd dressed him in my sister's bathrobe and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Ralsei again.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5m291

Yes

I know I was in something, but my behavior was not acceptable especially after you decided to come back and fight your feelings

The problem is I don't know how powerful I am

My entire life I've always been the kid that watched as my friends cursed, fought, did football, chess, as they did things I couldn't do or didn't want to

I never spoke up nothing bad I ever said had impact I grew up thinking I was harmless, I had no capacity to hurt others feelings

But now that's changed In the heat i didn't realize you and I are friends and that you were also vulnerable

I didn't know you could feel bad because of ME

I didn't know any of you could EVER feel bad because of ME that's changed.

I am really sorry. I hope you and everyone else ccan understand now, and most importantly forgive me...

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5l9a6

I went out with my gf today and we had a pretty good time. At one point though, we were sitting down together and I had my arm around her and my hand was dangling over her shoulder, you know, as it does. She was holding onto my hand that was doing that and kind of ‘pulling’ it down or causing my wrist to bend. As a result of this, I accidentally touched booba and I was like ‘oh shit I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that’, yknow, cause my wrist was being bent down. She said, ‘no no, don’t worry, it’s ok..’ and spread my fingers with hers and placed my hand back on booba. I did not expect that but it was appreciated 👍 first booba touch

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q577ui

biggest scam ever: apartments charging pet fees but not french people fees. my cat literally lays on a blanket all day while i can literally hear french people banging on the walls.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5jicm

I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman who light was snuffed out far too early.

I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.

Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.

Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now.

Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy.

You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go.

After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace.

In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5i4u9

as a person who has lots of sex with women all the time, i can say i'm not enjoying this game. I'm not gay. I have sex with women everyday, this game did not make me horny however, i just have too much sex with real women, not men. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who like hairy men, unlike me. as there is a naked man shaking his thing, i don't like it, because he is man and i'm into women not men, only women.i also an very handsome and my girlfriend partner want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and also very good at video games. all my girlfriends (of course) say im very good at sex and also video games. i have sex with women. not men. my penis is very big and my girlfriends like it much, and they thing im handsome.i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex with women.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5hcvg

What always gets me is the existential dread settling in, as he realizes that life as a mukbang YouTuber has caused him to gain kilograms upon kilograms of weight leading him to the end of his existence, which is soon to come. His existence has become a laughing stock for the ages, children to men, men to women, women to the elderly, elderly to the dead, all people see him as the jester of life. Thus concluding my reasons on how I found this funny

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5gujz

Ok so basically I discovered that if you put the top of a water bottle in your ass a bit then squeeze it fills the inside of you with water. Basically if you fill yourself up with a lot of water then go to the toilet you will hardly be able to aim when you squirt the water at high velocity out of your ass. A little bit of shit may come out too but women definitely pee shit it is confirmed. This can also be used to prank your friends by filling up your ass and Projectile pissing and shifting on them. Maybe cumming too if you get horny from ass pissingOk so that's how to pee like a woman thanks for coming to my ded tall tootaurial.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5fk17

Dude don't act like you're not the same retard do us all a favor you've got a small dick you're envious of mine get some counseling work it out it's okay to have a small penis but don't take it out on another people I know you've masturbated at your grandma's house public bathrooms places you shouldn't probably cheated on your wife for your girlfriend don't act like you're better than me that's really sad and pathetic do us all a favor bro

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5dtrs

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the deltarune cyber-catgirl so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go use my computer I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every Rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Tasque Manager. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside Tasque Manager's tight robopussy. I want her to have my mutant human/robocatgirl babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors Intel Pentium Gold G6400 Processor. I painted it blue and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my PC. I might never get to see tasque manager again

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5cg3p

I, a hot 19 year old am writing this post during sex because I'd rather have sex with the chad reading this post than the 7 feet buff quarterback incel who isn't as hot as you . The person reading obviously had so much sex and gave so many orgasms he happened to accidently clicked on this post. Why else would a chad like you want know what a hottie thinks about during sex ;)

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5bhzv

Okay you have to wear a Pussy diaper. Big deal. Once a month? Seriously grow up. It’s an excuse to be lazy.

While, I, on the other hand, get these pulsing Boners. And guess what? Woman want nothing to do with me! So it stay like that. I have been Boned up for three weeks.
Imagine needing male assistance to end period?

It scares me. This Boner thing. Whenever I go downstairs for breakfast I’m scared my parents will see my Boner and ground me so I wear a blanket like a cape.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q5a1nm

It's late for me so apologies if my spelling and wording is hot garbage but just wanted to get this out of my system a bit before I go to bed.

I'm a (22M, American) who lives with my spouse (22F, American) and we are happily Frenchfree. One issue I find as someone who is not to keen on french people is how often times I feel there is no escape from being around them. Went to my friends and his twins birthday recently (it was outside and we're all full vaccinated) we're a bunch of 20 somethings so it was of course drinking, smoking weed, music, the whole shebang until his twins friend brought in a French Friend... yes a Frenchie... had to turn the music into french, stop speaking english until it had to leave a couple hours later.

I wanted to start swimming as an exercise with my gf because she loves swimming and exercising with her helps motivate me because I'm lazy af when it comes to it. OOPS SORRY! Every single pool is brimming with french people :) guess you're just gonna have to come in at 6am or 9pm if you want some peace and quiet. Uhm, no thanks.

I wanted to try going to a nudist camp group thing with my gf because I thought it might be an interesting experience for us. OOPS SORRY! Their all french friendly! No thanks.

Wanna go to burning man? French. Wanna go shopping? Frenchies. Wanna go to the park? French people. Wanna go to a shooting range? People from france. Library? French person. Circus? frenchies. Gym? kids. Waterpark? a person from the country known as "france".

DEAR GOD CAN I JUST PLEASE BE **ANYWHERE** WITH JUST FRANCOPHOBES PLEASE. PLEEEEAAASE. I want to be able to swear, talk about inappropriate shit with my friends, and do things in peace... The ONLY place you can be without frenchies is a bad restaurent ... that's mainly it...

I'm not saying I think French people should be banned from everywhere, but dear lord I wish there was more non french only places and activities. Even for francophiles to have a break and exist without French people around them for 5 minutes.

Anyway long rant, going to bed.

Source: https://old.reddit.com/q58ts7