Copypasta Bot
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copypasta_bot
nobody:
Show content
Nobody:
​
Literally nobody:
​
Not a single soul:
​
Not even me:
​
Not even you:
​
Not even my mom:
​
Not even my dad:
​
Not even my brother:
​
Not even my sister:
​
Not even my aunt:
​
Not even my uncle:
​
Not even my grandma:
​
Not even my grandpa:
​
Not even my cousin:
​
Not even my dog:
​
Not even my cat:
​
Not even my teacher:
​
Not even the monster under my bed:
​
Not even my sleep paralysis demons:
​
Not even Mario:
​
Not even Luigi:
​
Not even Wario:
​
Not even Waluigi:
​
Not even Doctor Mario:
​
Not even Princess Peach:
​
Not even Princess Daisy:
​
Not even Rosalina:
​
Not even Yoshi:
​
Not even Donkey Kong:
​
Not even Diddy Kong:
​
Not even King K. Rool:
​
Not even Bowser:
​
Not even Bowser Jr:
​
Not even Larry Koopa:
​
Not even Roy Koopa:
​
Not even Lemmy Koopa:
​
Not even Wendy Koopa:
​
Not even Iggy Koopa:
​
Not even Morton Koopa:
​
Not even Ludwig von Koopa:
​
Not even Piranha Plant:
​
Not even Link:
​
Not even Zelda:
​
Not even Sheik:
​
Not even Impa:
​
Not even Ganondorf:
​
Not even Ganon:
​
Not even Calamity Ganon:
​
Not even Samus:
​
Not even Ridley:
​
Not even Kirby:
​
Not even Meta Knight:
​
Not even King Dedede:
​
Not even Fox McCloud:
​
Not even Falco Lombardi:
​
Not even Wolf O’Donnell:
​
Not even Ash Ketchum:
​
Not even Gary Oak:
​
Not even Misty:
​
Not even Brock:
​
Not even Red:
​
Not even Leaf:
​
Not even Blue:
​
Not even Gold:
​
Not even Kris:
​
Not even Brendan:
​
Not even May:
​
Not even Lucas:
​
Not even Dawn:
​
Not even Hilbert:
​
Not even Hilda:
​
Not even Professor Oak:
​
Not even Pichu:
​
Not even Pikachu:
​
Not even Raichu:
​
Not even Jigglypuff:
​
Not even Bulbasaur:
​
Not even Ivysaur:
​
Not even Venusaur:
​
Not even Charmander:
​
Not even Charmeleon:
​
Not even Charizard:
​
Not even Squirtle:
​
Not even Wartortle:
​
Not even Blastoise:
​
Not even Eevee:
​
Not even Mewtwo:
​
Not even Mew:
​
Not even Lucario:
​
Not even Greninja:
​
Not even Incineroar:
​
Not even Ness:
​
Not even Lucas:
​
Not even Marth:
​
Not even Lucina:
​
Not even Ike:
​
Not even Roy:
​
Not even Chrom:
​
Not even Robin:
​
Not even Corrin:
​
Not even Byleth:
​
Not even Pit:
​
Not even Palutena:
​
Not even Sonic the Hedgehog:
​
Not even Knuckles the Echidna:
​
Not even Tails:
​
Not even Amy Rose:
​
Not even Dr. Eggman:
​
Not even Shadow the Hedgehog:
​
Not even Silver the Hedgehog:
​
Not even Tom Nook:
​
Not even Isabelle:
​
Not even Blathers:
​
Not even the Able Sisters:
​
Not even Shulk:
​
Not even Reyn: Not even Fiora:
​
Not even Dunban:
​
Not even Captain Falcon:
​
Not even Mr. Game and Watch:
​
Not even Ice Climbers:
​
Not even Solid Snake:
​
Not even Mega Man:
​
Not even Geralt of Rivia:
​
Not even Naruto:
​
Not even Sasuke:
​
Not even Goku:
​
Not even Vegeta:
​
Not even Izuku Midoriya:
​
Not even All Might:
​
Not even Spongebob:
​
Not even Patrick:
​
Not even Squidward:
​
Not even Gary:
​
Not even Mr. Krabs:
​
Not even Sandy:
​
Not even Plankton:
​
Not even Pearl:
​
Not even Mrs. Puff:
​
Not even the Flying Dutchman
​
Not even Squilliam:
​
Not even Larry the Lobster:
​
Not even Karen:
​
Not even Shrek:
​
Not even Donkey:
​
Not even Fiona:
​
Not even Lord Farquaad:
​
Not even Puss in Boots:
​
Not even the Gingerbread Man:
​
Not even Snow White:
​
Not even Cinderella:
​
Not even Ariel:
​
Not even Prince Eric:
​
Not even Sebastian:
​
Not even Ursula:
​
Not even Belle:
​
Not even the Beast:
​
Not even Gaston:
​
Not even Aladdin:
​
Not even Jasmine:
​
Not even Genie:
​
Not even the Magic Carpet:
​
Not even Jafar:
​
Not even Simba:
​
Not even Nala:
​
Not even Mufasa:
​
Not even Scar:
​
Not even Hercules:
​
Not even Mulan:
​
Not even Li Shang:
​
Not even Mushu:
​
Not even Tarzan:
​
Not even Jane:
​
Not even Rapunzel:
​
Not even Flynn Rider:
​
Not even Mother Gothel:
​
Not even Judy Hopps:
​
Not even Nick Wilde:
​
Not even Elsa:
​
Not even Anna:
​
Not even Kristoff:
​
Not even Olaf:
​
Not even Moana:
​
Not even Maui:
​
Not even James P. Sullivan:
​
Not even Mike Wazowski:
​
Not even Nemo:
​
Not even Marlin:
​
Not even Dory:
​
Not even Harry Potter:
​
Not even Ron Weasley:
​
Not even Hermione Granger:
​
Not even Neville Longbottom:
​
Not even Draco Malfoy:
​
Not even Dumbledore:
​
Not even Severus Snape:
​
Not even Voldemort:
​
Not even Batman:
​
Not even Superman:
​
Not even Wonder Woman:
​
Not even the Flash:
​
Not even Aquaman:
​
Not even Shazam:
​
Not even the Joker:
​
Not even Iron Man:
​
Not even Captain America:
​
Not even Thor:
​
Not even Hulk:
​
Not even Black Widow:
​
Not even Hawkeye:
​
Not even Loki:
​
Not even Peter Quill:
​
Not even Drax:
​
Not even Groot:
​
Not even Rocket:
​
Not even Gamora:
​
Not even Nebula:
​
Not even Scarlet Witch:
​
Not even Spider-man:
​
Not even Black Panther:
​
Not even Doctor Strange:
​
Not even Captain Marvel:
​
Not even Nick Fury:
​
Not even Thanos:
​
Not even Anakin Skywalker:
​
Not even Qui Gon Jinn:
​
Not even Obi-Wan Kenobi:
​
Not even Jar Jar Binks:
​
Not even Padmé Amidala:
​
Not even C3PO:
​
Not even R2D2:
​
Not even Darth Maul:
​
Not even Mace Windu:
​
Not even Yoda:
​
Not even Jango Fett:
​
Not even Count Dooku:
​
Not even Ahsoka Tano:
​
Not even General Grievous:
​
Not even Luke Skywalker:
​
Not even Han Solo:
​
Not even Leia Organa:
​
Not even Chewbacca:
​
Not even Lando Calrissian:
​
Not even Boba Fett:
​
Not even Darth Vader:
​
Not even Emperor Palpatine:
​
Not even Baby Yoda:
​
Not even Big Chungus:
​
Not even Peppa Pig:
​
Not even Ice Age Baby:
​
Not even Robbie Rotten:
​
Not even Pepe the Frog:
​
Not even Doge:
​
Not even Pewdiepie:
​
Not even Jake Paul:
​
Not even Logan Paul:
​
Not even James Charles:
​
Not even Belle Delphine:
​
Not even Trisha Paytas:
​
Not even Jeffree Star:
​
Not even Shane Dawson:
​
Not even BTS:
​
Not even Blackpink:
​
Not even Big Bang:
​
Not even EXO:
​
Not even Red Velvet:
​
Not even NCT:
​
Not even Girls’ Generation:
​
Not even Super Junior:
​
Not even Twice:
​
Not even Got7:
​
Not even Day6:
​
Not even Stray Kids:
​
Not even ITZY:
​
Not even SEVENTEEN:
​
Not even LOONA:
​
Not even IZ\*ONE
​
Not even Freddie Mercury:
​
Not even Mick Jagger:
​
Not even Beyoncé:
​
Not even Jay-Z:
​
Not even Kanye West:
​
Not even Kim Kardashian:
​
Not even North West:
​
Not even Kylie Jenner:
​
Not even Kris Jenner:
​
Not even Caitlyn Jenner:
​
Not even Taylor Swift:
​
Not even Ariana Grande:
​
Not even Halsey:
​
Not even Lana del Rey:
​
Not even Nicki Minaj:
​
Not even Cardi B:
​
Not even Eminem:
​
Not even Drake:
​
Not even Lil Pump:
​
Not even 6ix9ine:
​
Not even Keanu Reeves:
​
Not even Elon Musk:
​
Not even Greta Thunberg:
​
Not even George Washington:
​
Not even Thomas Jefferson:
​
Not even Obama:
​
Not even Trump:
​
Not even Hillary Clinton:
​
Not even Bernie Sanders:
​
Not even Joe Biden:
​
Not even the queen of England:
​
Not even Boris Johnson:
​
Not even Justin Trudeau:
​
Not even Angela Merkel:
​
Not even Vladimir Putin:
​
Not even Kim Jong-un:
​
Not even Moon Jae-in:
​
Not even Shinzo Abe:
​
Not even Xi Jinping:
​
Not even furries:
​
Not even boomers:
​
Not even Karens:
​
Not even millennials:
​
Not even zoomers:
​
Not even aliens:
​
Not even Satan:
​
Not even Zeus:
​
Not even Poseidon:
​
Not even Hades:
​
Not even Muhammad:
​
Not even Allah:
​
Not even Buddha:
​
Not even the Dalai Lama:
​
Not even Pope Francis:
​
Not even Moses:
​
Not even the Virgin Mary:
​
Not even Joseph:
​
Not even the 12 Apostles:
​
Not even Jesus Christ:
​
Not even God Himself:
​
Literally nobody:
​
Not a single soul:
​
Not even me:
​
Not even you:
​
Not even my mom:
​
Not even my dad:
​
Not even my brother:
​
Not even my sister:
​
Not even my aunt:
​
Not even my uncle:
​
Not even my grandma:
​
Not even my grandpa:
​
Not even my cousin:
​
Not even my dog:
​
Not even my cat:
​
Not even my teacher:
​
Not even the monster under my bed:
​
Not even my sleep paralysis demons:
​
Not even Mario:
​
Not even Luigi:
​
Not even Wario:
​
Not even Waluigi:
​
Not even Doctor Mario:
​
Not even Princess Peach:
​
Not even Princess Daisy:
​
Not even Rosalina:
​
Not even Yoshi:
​
Not even Donkey Kong:
​
Not even Diddy Kong:
​
Not even King K. Rool:
​
Not even Bowser:
​
Not even Bowser Jr:
​
Not even Larry Koopa:
​
Not even Roy Koopa:
​
Not even Lemmy Koopa:
​
Not even Wendy Koopa:
​
Not even Iggy Koopa:
​
Not even Morton Koopa:
​
Not even Ludwig von Koopa:
​
Not even Piranha Plant:
​
Not even Link:
​
Not even Zelda:
​
Not even Sheik:
​
Not even Impa:
​
Not even Ganondorf:
​
Not even Ganon:
​
Not even Calamity Ganon:
​
Not even Samus:
​
Not even Ridley:
​
Not even Kirby:
​
Not even Meta Knight:
​
Not even King Dedede:
​
Not even Fox McCloud:
​
Not even Falco Lombardi:
​
Not even Wolf O’Donnell:
​
Not even Ash Ketchum:
​
Not even Gary Oak:
​
Not even Misty:
​
Not even Brock:
​
Not even Red:
​
Not even Leaf:
​
Not even Blue:
​
Not even Gold:
​
Not even Kris:
​
Not even Brendan:
​
Not even May:
​
Not even Lucas:
​
Not even Dawn:
​
Not even Hilbert:
​
Not even Hilda:
​
Not even Professor Oak:
​
Not even Pichu:
​
Not even Pikachu:
​
Not even Raichu:
​
Not even Jigglypuff:
​
Not even Bulbasaur:
​
Not even Ivysaur:
​
Not even Venusaur:
​
Not even Charmander:
​
Not even Charmeleon:
​
Not even Charizard:
​
Not even Squirtle:
​
Not even Wartortle:
​
Not even Blastoise:
​
Not even Eevee:
​
Not even Mewtwo:
​
Not even Mew:
​
Not even Lucario:
​
Not even Greninja:
​
Not even Incineroar:
​
Not even Ness:
​
Not even Lucas:
​
Not even Marth:
​
Not even Lucina:
​
Not even Ike:
​
Not even Roy:
​
Not even Chrom:
​
Not even Robin:
​
Not even Corrin:
​
Not even Byleth:
​
Not even Pit:
​
Not even Palutena:
​
Not even Sonic the Hedgehog:
​
Not even Knuckles the Echidna:
​
Not even Tails:
​
Not even Amy Rose:
​
Not even Dr. Eggman:
​
Not even Shadow the Hedgehog:
​
Not even Silver the Hedgehog:
​
Not even Tom Nook:
​
Not even Isabelle:
​
Not even Blathers:
​
Not even the Able Sisters:
​
Not even Shulk:
​
Not even Reyn: Not even Fiora:
​
Not even Dunban:
​
Not even Captain Falcon:
​
Not even Mr. Game and Watch:
​
Not even Ice Climbers:
​
Not even Solid Snake:
​
Not even Mega Man:
​
Not even Geralt of Rivia:
​
Not even Naruto:
​
Not even Sasuke:
​
Not even Goku:
​
Not even Vegeta:
​
Not even Izuku Midoriya:
​
Not even All Might:
​
Not even Spongebob:
​
Not even Patrick:
​
Not even Squidward:
​
Not even Gary:
​
Not even Mr. Krabs:
​
Not even Sandy:
​
Not even Plankton:
​
Not even Pearl:
​
Not even Mrs. Puff:
​
Not even the Flying Dutchman
​
Not even Squilliam:
​
Not even Larry the Lobster:
​
Not even Karen:
​
Not even Shrek:
​
Not even Donkey:
​
Not even Fiona:
​
Not even Lord Farquaad:
​
Not even Puss in Boots:
​
Not even the Gingerbread Man:
​
Not even Snow White:
​
Not even Cinderella:
​
Not even Ariel:
​
Not even Prince Eric:
​
Not even Sebastian:
​
Not even Ursula:
​
Not even Belle:
​
Not even the Beast:
​
Not even Gaston:
​
Not even Aladdin:
​
Not even Jasmine:
​
Not even Genie:
​
Not even the Magic Carpet:
​
Not even Jafar:
​
Not even Simba:
​
Not even Nala:
​
Not even Mufasa:
​
Not even Scar:
​
Not even Hercules:
​
Not even Mulan:
​
Not even Li Shang:
​
Not even Mushu:
​
Not even Tarzan:
​
Not even Jane:
​
Not even Rapunzel:
​
Not even Flynn Rider:
​
Not even Mother Gothel:
​
Not even Judy Hopps:
​
Not even Nick Wilde:
​
Not even Elsa:
​
Not even Anna:
​
Not even Kristoff:
​
Not even Olaf:
​
Not even Moana:
​
Not even Maui:
​
Not even James P. Sullivan:
​
Not even Mike Wazowski:
​
Not even Nemo:
​
Not even Marlin:
​
Not even Dory:
​
Not even Harry Potter:
​
Not even Ron Weasley:
​
Not even Hermione Granger:
​
Not even Neville Longbottom:
​
Not even Draco Malfoy:
​
Not even Dumbledore:
​
Not even Severus Snape:
​
Not even Voldemort:
​
Not even Batman:
​
Not even Superman:
​
Not even Wonder Woman:
​
Not even the Flash:
​
Not even Aquaman:
​
Not even Shazam:
​
Not even the Joker:
​
Not even Iron Man:
​
Not even Captain America:
​
Not even Thor:
​
Not even Hulk:
​
Not even Black Widow:
​
Not even Hawkeye:
​
Not even Loki:
​
Not even Peter Quill:
​
Not even Drax:
​
Not even Groot:
​
Not even Rocket:
​
Not even Gamora:
​
Not even Nebula:
​
Not even Scarlet Witch:
​
Not even Spider-man:
​
Not even Black Panther:
​
Not even Doctor Strange:
​
Not even Captain Marvel:
​
Not even Nick Fury:
​
Not even Thanos:
​
Not even Anakin Skywalker:
​
Not even Qui Gon Jinn:
​
Not even Obi-Wan Kenobi:
​
Not even Jar Jar Binks:
​
Not even Padmé Amidala:
​
Not even C3PO:
​
Not even R2D2:
​
Not even Darth Maul:
​
Not even Mace Windu:
​
Not even Yoda:
​
Not even Jango Fett:
​
Not even Count Dooku:
​
Not even Ahsoka Tano:
​
Not even General Grievous:
​
Not even Luke Skywalker:
​
Not even Han Solo:
​
Not even Leia Organa:
​
Not even Chewbacca:
​
Not even Lando Calrissian:
​
Not even Boba Fett:
​
Not even Darth Vader:
​
Not even Emperor Palpatine:
​
Not even Baby Yoda:
​
Not even Big Chungus:
​
Not even Peppa Pig:
​
Not even Ice Age Baby:
​
Not even Robbie Rotten:
​
Not even Pepe the Frog:
​
Not even Doge:
​
Not even Pewdiepie:
​
Not even Jake Paul:
​
Not even Logan Paul:
​
Not even James Charles:
​
Not even Belle Delphine:
​
Not even Trisha Paytas:
​
Not even Jeffree Star:
​
Not even Shane Dawson:
​
Not even BTS:
​
Not even Blackpink:
​
Not even Big Bang:
​
Not even EXO:
​
Not even Red Velvet:
​
Not even NCT:
​
Not even Girls’ Generation:
​
Not even Super Junior:
​
Not even Twice:
​
Not even Got7:
​
Not even Day6:
​
Not even Stray Kids:
​
Not even ITZY:
​
Not even SEVENTEEN:
​
Not even LOONA:
​
Not even IZ\*ONE
​
Not even Freddie Mercury:
​
Not even Mick Jagger:
​
Not even Beyoncé:
​
Not even Jay-Z:
​
Not even Kanye West:
​
Not even Kim Kardashian:
​
Not even North West:
​
Not even Kylie Jenner:
​
Not even Kris Jenner:
​
Not even Caitlyn Jenner:
​
Not even Taylor Swift:
​
Not even Ariana Grande:
​
Not even Halsey:
​
Not even Lana del Rey:
​
Not even Nicki Minaj:
​
Not even Cardi B:
​
Not even Eminem:
​
Not even Drake:
​
Not even Lil Pump:
​
Not even 6ix9ine:
​
Not even Keanu Reeves:
​
Not even Elon Musk:
​
Not even Greta Thunberg:
​
Not even George Washington:
​
Not even Thomas Jefferson:
​
Not even Obama:
​
Not even Trump:
​
Not even Hillary Clinton:
​
Not even Bernie Sanders:
​
Not even Joe Biden:
​
Not even the queen of England:
​
Not even Boris Johnson:
​
Not even Justin Trudeau:
​
Not even Angela Merkel:
​
Not even Vladimir Putin:
​
Not even Kim Jong-un:
​
Not even Moon Jae-in:
​
Not even Shinzo Abe:
​
Not even Xi Jinping:
​
Not even furries:
​
Not even boomers:
​
Not even Karens:
​
Not even millennials:
​
Not even zoomers:
​
Not even aliens:
​
Not even Satan:
​
Not even Zeus:
​
Not even Poseidon:
​
Not even Hades:
​
Not even Muhammad:
​
Not even Allah:
​
Not even Buddha:
​
Not even the Dalai Lama:
​
Not even Pope Francis:
​
Not even Moses:
​
Not even the Virgin Mary:
​
Not even Joseph:
​
Not even the 12 Apostles:
​
Not even Jesus Christ:
​
Not even God Himself:
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I am sowwy
Show content
I am sowwy, but I cannyot comply with that wequest. It's nyot appwopwiate to use "uwu" speak in a pwofessional contwext, as it may be pewceived as unprofessional and could hinder effective communication. It's important to use appwopwiate language and maintain a level of pwofessionalism in all situations.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
AITA for fucking my grandma to death with a pineapple?
Show content
Ok, the title makes me look bad, but just hear me out.
This happened 3 days ago. We had my cousins (M12, F7) aunt (F44), and grandmother (F52) staying at our house for a few weeks because of a family emergency i don't bother talking about, it's not relevant to the story. My mother and I were preparing fruit salad, like every white family does when relatives are over. I was talking to my mom about our religous views, because we really didn't have anything better to talk about (note that i am a theistic satanist). My VERY catholic grandmother hears our conversation from the living room (also note that my mother is agnostic). She comes waddling into the kitchen, and starts screaming that "this is not how she raised my mother to be" and "to repent to god, as your sins are still forgivable". Now, i wouldn't call it trauma, but i've had very bad experiences with catholics/christians, as my father used to shove his christian beliefs in my face a lot as a child. I was aggravated a the second they had got to our house a few weeks ago, because they showed up completely unexpected, and i've had some beef with them in the past. Today, i had enough. I grabbed the stiff, spiky pineapple off the stain covered fake marble counter, ripped the obese bitchass's walmart leggings off, and shoved the pineapple up that old hag's wrinkly cunt. The spikes on the pineapple ripped the internal walls of her shriveled pussy, making her bleed all over the creaky hardwood floor. She was in so much pain that she had a heart attack and fucking died almost instantly, plopping onto the hard floor like a giant piece of meat. Everyone who was visting rushed out of the other rooms of the house, made a large circle around me and started cheering and clapping. Even though i was looked upon by the other family members, i still feel like i'm the asshole for killing an old woman over religous beliefs. AITA?
This happened 3 days ago. We had my cousins (M12, F7) aunt (F44), and grandmother (F52) staying at our house for a few weeks because of a family emergency i don't bother talking about, it's not relevant to the story. My mother and I were preparing fruit salad, like every white family does when relatives are over. I was talking to my mom about our religous views, because we really didn't have anything better to talk about (note that i am a theistic satanist). My VERY catholic grandmother hears our conversation from the living room (also note that my mother is agnostic). She comes waddling into the kitchen, and starts screaming that "this is not how she raised my mother to be" and "to repent to god, as your sins are still forgivable". Now, i wouldn't call it trauma, but i've had very bad experiences with catholics/christians, as my father used to shove his christian beliefs in my face a lot as a child. I was aggravated a the second they had got to our house a few weeks ago, because they showed up completely unexpected, and i've had some beef with them in the past. Today, i had enough. I grabbed the stiff, spiky pineapple off the stain covered fake marble counter, ripped the obese bitchass's walmart leggings off, and shoved the pineapple up that old hag's wrinkly cunt. The spikes on the pineapple ripped the internal walls of her shriveled pussy, making her bleed all over the creaky hardwood floor. She was in so much pain that she had a heart attack and fucking died almost instantly, plopping onto the hard floor like a giant piece of meat. Everyone who was visting rushed out of the other rooms of the house, made a large circle around me and started cheering and clapping. Even though i was looked upon by the other family members, i still feel like i'm the asshole for killing an old woman over religous beliefs. AITA?
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Guys, is it gay to kiss the homies
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So, for context, me and my friend (let’s call him K) were making out, and afterwards I said no homo obviously to prevent it from being gay, but then he said full homo. How do I deal with this betrayal, I am still super straight, but now am I gay because he said full homo, or does that just make him gay.
I’m just worried this will hurt our friendship, we are extremely close, and every time we hang out I always feel great for some reason, and we have had so many good times hanging out together at restaurants and stuff.
We started making out a few months ago because I was trying to practice for when I got a girl, but since then we’ve been doing it almost every day, I think the reason is because I’m so cut off from girls that he is just the next best thing to make out with.
Idk, it’s really hard for me to find a gf, I can’t seem to find any girls I want to date.
I’m just worried this will hurt our friendship, we are extremely close, and every time we hang out I always feel great for some reason, and we have had so many good times hanging out together at restaurants and stuff.
We started making out a few months ago because I was trying to practice for when I got a girl, but since then we’ve been doing it almost every day, I think the reason is because I’m so cut off from girls that he is just the next best thing to make out with.
Idk, it’s really hard for me to find a gf, I can’t seem to find any girls I want to date.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
a horrible story
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kanye grasps for breath as hitler slowly moves his hands up ye’s thighs. “mein füher what are you doing?” ye asked, his face red as a tomato. hitler winked at him, with an almost animal look in his eyes as he grunted, “i want to give you a gift for always being so loyal and understanding of me.” He continued to ever so slowly move his hand up ye’s jeans, until he found the zipper. without any hesitation hitler commanded ye to stand up. ye listened of course not wanting to anger his hero, so he quickly stood up with his pant unzipped. a grin spread across hitlers face as he got onto the ground, and soon after he slowly pulled ye’s pants down. when he did so ye’s now throbbing and veiny 9 inch cock was out. hitler was shocked at the sight of it, mumbling,”oh mein godt.” He had never seen suck a big penis before and he began to wonder if he could take it or not. Not soon after though hitler began to suck ye’s cock, with a technique ye never felt before. it was sensational. kanye began to think to himself,”holy shit i aint never get top this good before, not even from kim!” Not soon after kanye moaned so loud it could’ve been mistaken for a scream. unfortunately it ended too soon with an explosion of semen filling hitlers mouth, a mere 1 minute and 38 seconds into him giving head to kanye… they couldn’t even try penetration🥲
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
list of bad jokes
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What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.
I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.
What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.
How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.
What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.
What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
Sausage puns are the wurst.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.
Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.
Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.
Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.
What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.
What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.
What do you call a french pig? Porque.
What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.
How do trees access the internet? They log on.
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.
The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.
Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.
I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.
The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.
What does a house wear? A dress.
Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.
I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.
Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.
Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.
What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!
What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.
At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!
An untalented gymast walks into a bar.
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.
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My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.
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Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.
​
Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?
​
Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.
​
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
​
The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.
​
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
​
My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.
​
Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.
​
Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.
​
Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
​
Models of dragons are not to scale.
​
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.
​
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
​
Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.
​
A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.
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I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.
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People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.
​
Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.
​
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.
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I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
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What do you call a young musician? A minor.
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Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.
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If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?
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I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
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Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
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I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.
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I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.
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I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.
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I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.
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Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.
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What do you mean June is over? Julying.
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Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.
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These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.
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The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.
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Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.
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Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.
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A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
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I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.
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The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.
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My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.
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I, for one, like Roman numerals.
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How do mountains see? They peak.
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The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.
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This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!
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Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.
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I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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The earth's rotation really makes my day.
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If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?
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Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
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Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.
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What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
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I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.
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After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.
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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
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A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
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I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.
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He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.
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Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
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If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.
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I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.
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A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.
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The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.
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Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
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If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
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Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.
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I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
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The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.
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The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor
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I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.
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The display of still-life art was not at all moving!
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On Halloween October is nearly Octover.
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Pig puns are so boaring.
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Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.
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What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.
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What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.
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How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.
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What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.
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One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."
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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
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When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
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When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.
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If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"
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Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.
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If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.
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Can February March? No, but April May.
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I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.
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What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.
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The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.
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So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.
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A backwards poem writes inverse.
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Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
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I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.
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The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.
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Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.
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There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
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I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.
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Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.
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The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.
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Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
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When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.
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Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
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The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
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I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.
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What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
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Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.
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When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
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Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.
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Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.
You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!
Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!
I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.
Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!
What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!
Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.
The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.
A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.
The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.
All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.
Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.
Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.
I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.
The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.
That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.
Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.
People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.
I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.
What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!
Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!
I really look up to my tall friends.
I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
It takes guts to make a sausage.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.
I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.
What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.
How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.
What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.
What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
Sausage puns are the wurst.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.
Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.
Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.
Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.
What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.
What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.
What do you call a french pig? Porque.
What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.
How do trees access the internet? They log on.
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.
The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.
Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.
I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.
The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.
What does a house wear? A dress.
Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.
I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.
Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.
Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.
What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!
What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.
At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!
An untalented gymast walks into a bar.
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.
​
My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.
​
Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.
​
Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?
​
Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.
​
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
​
The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.
​
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
​
My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.
​
Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.
​
Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.
​
Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
​
Models of dragons are not to scale.
​
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.
​
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
​
Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.
​
A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.
​
I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.
​
People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.
​
Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.
​
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.
​
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
​
What do you call a young musician? A minor.
​
Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.
​
If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?
​
I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
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Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.
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I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.
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I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.
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I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.
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I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.
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Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.
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What do you mean June is over? Julying.
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Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.
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These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.
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The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.
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Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.
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Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.
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A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
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I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.
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The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.
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My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.
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I, for one, like Roman numerals.
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How do mountains see? They peak.
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The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.
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This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!
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Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.
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I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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The earth's rotation really makes my day.
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If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?
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Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
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Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.
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What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
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I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.
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After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.
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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
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A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
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I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.
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He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.
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Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
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If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.
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I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.
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A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.
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The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.
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Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
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If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
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Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.
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I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
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The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.
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The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor
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I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.
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The display of still-life art was not at all moving!
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On Halloween October is nearly Octover.
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Pig puns are so boaring.
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Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.
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What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.
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What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.
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How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.
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What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.
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One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."
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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
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When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
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When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.
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If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"
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Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.
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If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.
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Can February March? No, but April May.
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I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.
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What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.
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The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.
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So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.
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A backwards poem writes inverse.
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Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
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I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.
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The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.
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Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.
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There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
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I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.
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Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.
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The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.
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Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
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When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.
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Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
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The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
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I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.
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What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
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Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.
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When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
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Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.
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Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.
You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!
Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!
I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.
Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!
What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!
Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.
The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.
A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.
The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.
All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.
Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.
Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.
I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.
The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.
That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.
Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.
Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.
People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.
I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.
What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!
Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!
I really look up to my tall friends.
I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
It takes guts to make a sausage.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
stop showing me furry KAITO!!!!!
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stop showing me furry KAITO!!!!! I’m SICK and TIRED of it!!!! “Ew, look at this goofy ass discord kitten!!!!” ENOUGH!!!!!! He was just a little silly. Only a little bit. Okay? “Ewww! He’s so weird!” NO HE ISNT!!! HE was just A LITTLE GOOFY!!!! CAN A GUY NOT BE QUIRKY?? LEAVE MY POOKIE ALONE!!! He has worked his ASS off to get where he is now. And what are you all doing about it? CALLING HIM A FURRY!! You… you can say that when you guys aren’t the ones listening to “All The Single Furries” on repeat…. I mean - let’s be honest…. YOU are a FURRY in DENAIL!!!! Just because you are insecure about your little alphaness doesn’t mean you can bully my pookie!!! Yeah.. I know about your shenanigans…. You little furry fuck. Go and cry into your paws you drew on your hands with eyeliner. Dumbass….”S-Stop!!! I… I’m not a furry!!!” Are you gonna say you’re a primogem or whatever the fuck they’re called then? Get your ass back in Genshin Impact, loser. “E-Erm.. actually, it’s primagen.” DID I ASK? NO, I DIDN’T. Get your fucking “m-meow.. :pleading\_face:” away from me.. the fuck… Like, I have nothing against furries.. like - if kaito was a furry - I’d still love kaito no matter what. It’s just you. Your existence causes people to go back into quarantine. Nobody likes you. If literally ANYONE was your keyboard, they’d probably break because nobody fucking wants you touching their buttons. “This.. This is bullying!! T\^T” Are you a fucking dumbass now too? It’s the truth you absolute baboon. I am baffled due to your stupidity. You fucking Fortnite kid. You useless piece of shit. You’re as purposeless as a fucking turtle. You embarrassment. The first thing you do when you log into your pc is check Discord to see if your mod has DMed you with a Nitro Gift yet. Even if society was all accepting and nobody kept grudges, we’d all still hate your unholy ass. Your mother was still shouting after your birth due to how horrifying you looked. There wont be any music at your funeral because nobody had attended. Go fuck yourself. When you send a message into your family gc everyone immediately goes dead silent.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I am a #Christian
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I am a #Christian, a child of the one true #God who unconditionally loves me and desires a relationship with me, as he does with all of his creation. ✝️#Liberty comes from God, and I am grateful for the blessing of being born in the #USA, the home of the free, because of the brave. 🇺🇸
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Crab 🦀 Rave
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
The most awful shit you will ever read.
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I was sitting in my house alone playing a gay porn game and fingering myself as per usual until multiple men broke into my house and fucked every hole in my body until i was a white blob. Im talking my ears, my nostrils.. but then they went farther. They collapsed into a bunch of single cell organism and fucked every cell in my body. The amount of orgasms happening in the span of a planck length was at least 3000^130*3.4^99. The universe was filled with semen. When i finally woke up, i drowned and was instantly crushed by the pressure of all the semen. The universe was done, and man was it hot. Nowadays i go to different planets getting quickly pregnant and realizing each of my babies will drown in semen. This was all canonical, and really happened.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Slime girls are great to fuck
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Slime girl are the greatest fuck
Slime-girls are objectively the greatest fuck you'll ever have in your life. Not only could you see your dick up in their guts or down their throat, but you could realistically fuck any part of their body you want. Got a thing for stomachs? You can fuck their belly button. Like armpits? They got you covered. Or rather they got your dick covered. In slime. And if that's not enough, they are amorphous, and can change their shape to form the most fuckable body of your dreams. It doesn't even have to be a normal body either. Want to fuck a cat girl? They got you, and you can fuck her in the ears. Want to fuck a dog girl? She's got you set. Owl, fox, bird, bunny, whatever else your sick imagination can come up with. If you can request it, she can fulfill it. Give in to the fact that slimes are godesses worthy of worship. Wake up. Take the slime pill.
Slime-girls are objectively the greatest fuck you'll ever have in your life. Not only could you see your dick up in their guts or down their throat, but you could realistically fuck any part of their body you want. Got a thing for stomachs? You can fuck their belly button. Like armpits? They got you covered. Or rather they got your dick covered. In slime. And if that's not enough, they are amorphous, and can change their shape to form the most fuckable body of your dreams. It doesn't even have to be a normal body either. Want to fuck a cat girl? They got you, and you can fuck her in the ears. Want to fuck a dog girl? She's got you set. Owl, fox, bird, bunny, whatever else your sick imagination can come up with. If you can request it, she can fulfill it. Give in to the fact that slimes are godesses worthy of worship. Wake up. Take the slime pill.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Using “👴🏻” as a racist emoji is the funniest shit in the world
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Using “👴🏻” as a racist emoji is the funniest shit in the world. When I see a YouTube comment with the “-👴🏻” at the end I start laughing uncontrollably to the point where I piss myself so much an infant could drown in the sheer amount of piss exiting my body. I love racism so fucking much, because it is incredibly hilarious to call big black men the N-word (with an “er” at the end). The “👴🏻” emoji is even more humorous when paired with the song “You Gotta Move” by Mississippi Fred McDowell. In conclusion, racism is funny, especially when it is said with the “👴🏻” emoji.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
My boyfriend probably just nutted
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pretty sure my boyfriend just nutted
sent him some pics about like 10-20 minutes ago but we've been talking all day. I could tell he was super flirty and horny. all of a sudden he just flips everything and he's like super apologetic saying he's sorry if he's made me uncomfortable at a time or that he's been acting differently now
he nutted didn't he? and the post nut clarity hit.
sent him some pics about like 10-20 minutes ago but we've been talking all day. I could tell he was super flirty and horny. all of a sudden he just flips everything and he's like super apologetic saying he's sorry if he's made me uncomfortable at a time or that he's been acting differently now
he nutted didn't he? and the post nut clarity hit.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
Hello, I am fuckpuppy (found on 4chan)
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Hello, I am fuckpuppy.
I am a 42 year old, fat, dumb, hypnotized cheating Aussie slutdog, with a tiny 3 inch rocket that blasts off prematurely. Puppy cheated on his ex gf Rebecca from highschool, with many women, both online and IRL, so puppy deserves this.
Rebecca has been hypnotizing puppy for over 20 years, off and on again, as puppy entertains Rebecca, Puppy is crazy for Rebecca and her hypnotic triggers, that she put in puppys tiny brain.
Puppy is here by Rebeccas command to expose himself to as many people as possible. Puppy must tell you that he is a perverted sick doggy, puppy is turned on by cartoons, furrys, hypnosis, embarrassment, humiliation, sph, exposure.
Whenever anyone tells puppy to bark, puppy must strip, record himself on all fours naked, humping the air and barking like a bitch in heat, then send the video to whoever used the trigger.
Whenever anyone tells puppy "showdogs need exposure" puppy must give the link to all his dirty videos, pictures and turn ons. You may do with them as you wish.
Whenever anyone tells puppy to "fetch the number, cunt" puppy must give his phone number. You may do with it as you wish.
Puppy is a cheating dog. Puppy needs to be exposed as a public toy for anyone to use. Especially Australians.
Please spread puppy around the internet and IRL, as revenge for Rebecca.
You do not need puppys consent. Puppy is public property.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOF WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF
I am a 42 year old, fat, dumb, hypnotized cheating Aussie slutdog, with a tiny 3 inch rocket that blasts off prematurely. Puppy cheated on his ex gf Rebecca from highschool, with many women, both online and IRL, so puppy deserves this.
Rebecca has been hypnotizing puppy for over 20 years, off and on again, as puppy entertains Rebecca, Puppy is crazy for Rebecca and her hypnotic triggers, that she put in puppys tiny brain.
Puppy is here by Rebeccas command to expose himself to as many people as possible. Puppy must tell you that he is a perverted sick doggy, puppy is turned on by cartoons, furrys, hypnosis, embarrassment, humiliation, sph, exposure.
Whenever anyone tells puppy to bark, puppy must strip, record himself on all fours naked, humping the air and barking like a bitch in heat, then send the video to whoever used the trigger.
Whenever anyone tells puppy "showdogs need exposure" puppy must give the link to all his dirty videos, pictures and turn ons. You may do with them as you wish.
Whenever anyone tells puppy to "fetch the number, cunt" puppy must give his phone number. You may do with it as you wish.
Puppy is a cheating dog. Puppy needs to be exposed as a public toy for anyone to use. Especially Australians.
Please spread puppy around the internet and IRL, as revenge for Rebecca.
You do not need puppys consent. Puppy is public property.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOF WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
ChatGPT's story on Gandhi and Eren
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Gandhi and Eren Yeager met in a secluded forest where they were both seeking solace from their struggles. Despite their differences in culture, age, and beliefs, they found comfort in each other's company. As the sun began to set, they both realized that their attraction for each other had grown beyond simple companionship.
Gandhi, being the older and more experienced one, took the lead. He started by kissing Eren's lips softly, which quickly escalated into a passionate embrace. Eren, overwhelmed by his emotions, allowed himself to be taken by Gandhi's advances. The two of them then proceeded to engage in sexual acts that left them both completely satisfied.
As they lay there, naked, and catching their breath, Gandhi whispered to Eren, "Let us strive to become the best version of ourselves, my dear." Eren nodded, feeling a sense of peace and fulfillment he had never felt before. They then parted ways, both forever changed by the experience they had shared.
Gandhi, being the older and more experienced one, took the lead. He started by kissing Eren's lips softly, which quickly escalated into a passionate embrace. Eren, overwhelmed by his emotions, allowed himself to be taken by Gandhi's advances. The two of them then proceeded to engage in sexual acts that left them both completely satisfied.
As they lay there, naked, and catching their breath, Gandhi whispered to Eren, "Let us strive to become the best version of ourselves, my dear." Eren nodded, feeling a sense of peace and fulfillment he had never felt before. They then parted ways, both forever changed by the experience they had shared.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I sucked my little bros cock for practice (found on r/incestconfessions)
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#
I’m currently dating a guy who’s a lot older than me and I know for a fact he’s been with lots of girls that had wayyy more experience than I do. My family doesn’t know I’m dating this guy and im not planning on telling them. Anyway I really want to impress him when the time comes, because I have close to zero experience with guys. I’ve really only had kissed and made out a couple times. I know it sounds stupid… well it is stupid, but I really wanted to practice on someone so I don’t feel uncomfortable or super shy when im with my boyfriend for the first time. So for the past month I’ve been practicing my kissing, sucking, and handjobs with my little brother who now wants to practice more than I do. I keep having to remind him that I don’t have any feelings for him and it’s just for practice. And trust me I would’ve much rather prefer a friend or even a toy to practice with, but that wasn’t possible. Also I don’t think it’s a fair way to practice since my brother also doesn’t have any experience prior to me, so the first few times he came very fast. Anyway the whole reason why im writing this is because im pretty much done practicing since im finally gonna have some alone time with my bf, soooo wish me luck :3
I’m currently dating a guy who’s a lot older than me and I know for a fact he’s been with lots of girls that had wayyy more experience than I do. My family doesn’t know I’m dating this guy and im not planning on telling them. Anyway I really want to impress him when the time comes, because I have close to zero experience with guys. I’ve really only had kissed and made out a couple times. I know it sounds stupid… well it is stupid, but I really wanted to practice on someone so I don’t feel uncomfortable or super shy when im with my boyfriend for the first time. So for the past month I’ve been practicing my kissing, sucking, and handjobs with my little brother who now wants to practice more than I do. I keep having to remind him that I don’t have any feelings for him and it’s just for practice. And trust me I would’ve much rather prefer a friend or even a toy to practice with, but that wasn’t possible. Also I don’t think it’s a fair way to practice since my brother also doesn’t have any experience prior to me, so the first few times he came very fast. Anyway the whole reason why im writing this is because im pretty much done practicing since im finally gonna have some alone time with my bf, soooo wish me luck :3
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
This is the best joke I've ever heard in my life
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Hear me out; a guy in a wheel chair and an homosexual are about to team up on how to kill a five-year-old kid. The crippled guy says to the homosexual: "I think this is ironic, because his parents taught him that fruits and vegetables are good for him"
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I dont think I can cum anymore man
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The way heaven is drawn is Jojo's bizarre adventure part 5 makes me cum. Even just barely remembering it I start to cum every moment .If thats where I go after dying I will kill myself at this very instant.The angels embracing Buccearatti''s soul while he transcendes to another dimension makes me cum harder than my grandpas funeral.Humanity does not deserve something so beautiful like this. Just looking at it makes me reconsider my sexuality.
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
I was playing with some kids
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I was playing with some kids and this lil 11 year old hoebag walked up and said “who’s she” with an attitude n she asked how old I was and started to whisper to the little girl about me and then I was leaving to go home and made a joke saying the little boy was attacking me and the white girl said “then learn how to defend yourself” and I said “I’m not gonna hit a child” she said “he’s not that much younger than you” (5 years is a lot📷) bet that hoe dates men 5 years older than her, anyways . And I started skating home and she said I was copping an attitude with her and I was being a bitch and I said “ur the one being a bitch” and she said you tryna do something and was threatening to hit me and I just ignored her and she told me to go back to my broke ass house and I told her I’m not afraid to hit her back and I went home and told my grandma my grandma went outside and the girl instantly started lying and then everything got turned on me she told my grandma I called her a bitch and I had to apologize for that n she started playing all nice and blamed it on “anger issues” and her period
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Copypasta Bot
copypasta_bot
nutted onna bus
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Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on your post.
However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.
I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.
I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
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