3 . 1 4 1 5 9 2 6 5 3 5 8 9 7 9 3 2 3 8 4 6 2 6 4 3 3 8 3 2 7 9 5 0 2 8 8 4 1 9 7 1 6 9 3 9 9 3 7 5 1 0 5 8 2 0 9 7 4 9 4 4 5 9 2 3 0 7 8 1 6 4 0 6 2 8 6 2 0 8 9 9 8 6 2 8 0 3 4 8 2 5 3 4 2 1 1 7 0 6 7 9 8 2 1 4 8 0 8 6 5 1 3 2 8 2 3 0 6 6 4 7 0 9 3 8 4 4 6 0 9 5 5 0 5 8 2 2 3 1 7 2 5 3 5 9 4 0 8 1 2 8 4 8 1 1 1 7 4 5 0 2 8 4 1 0 2 7 0 1 9 3 8 5 2 1 1 0 5 5 5 9 6 4 4 6 2 2 9 4 8 9 5 4 9 3 0 3 8 1 9 6 4 4 2 8 8 1 0 9 7 5 6 6 5 9 3 3 4 4 6 1 2 8 4 7 5 6 4 8 2 3 3 7 8 6 7 8 3 1 6 5 2 7 1 2 0 1 9 0 9 1 4 5 6 4 8 5 6 6 9 2 3 4 6 0 3 4 8 6 1 0 4 5 4 3 2 6 6 4 8 2 1 3 3 9 3 6 0 7 2 6 0 2 4 9 1 4 1 2 7 3 7 2 4 5 8 7 0 0 6 6 0 6 3 1 5 5 8 8 1 7 4 8 8 1 5 2 0 9 2 0 9 6 2 8 2 9 2 5 4 0 9 1 7 1 5 3 6 4 3 6 7 8 9 2 5 9 0 3 6 0 0 1 1 3 3 0 5 3 0 5 4 8 8 2 0 4 6 6 5 2 1 3 8 4 1 4 6 9 5 1 9 4 1 5 1 1 6 0 9 4 3 3 0 5 7 2 7 0 3 6 5 7 5 9 5 9 1 9 5 3 0 9 2 1 8 6 1 1 7 3 8 1 9 3 2 6 1 1 7 9 3 1 0 5 1 1 8 5 4 8 0 7 4 4 6 2 3 7 9 9 6 2 7 4 9 5 6 7 3 5 1 8 8 5 7 5 2 7 2 4 8 9 1 2 2 7 9 3 8 1 8 3 0 1 1 9 4 9 1 2 9 8 3 3 6 7 3 3 6 2 4 4 0 6 5 6 6 4 3 0 8 6 0 2 1 3 9 4 9 4 6 3 9 5 2 2 4 7 3 7 1 9 0 7 0 2 1 7 9 8 6 0 9 4 3 7 0 2 7 7 0 5 3 9 2 1 7 1 7 6 2 9 3 1 7 6 7 5 2 3 8 4 6 7 4 8 1 8 4 6 7 6 6 9 4 0 5 1 3 2 0 0 0 5 6 8 1 2 7 1 4 5 2 6 3 5 6 0 8 2 7 7 8 5 7 7 1 3 4 2 7 5 7 7 8 9 6 0 9 1 7 3 6 3 7 1 7 8 7 2 1 4 6 8 4 4 0 9 0 1 2 2 4 9 5 3 4 3 0 1 4 6 5 4 9 5 8 5 3 7 1 0 5 0 7 9 2 2 7 9 6 8 9 2 5 8 9 2 3 5 4 2 0 1 9 9 5 6 1 1 2 1 2 9 0 2 1 9 6 0 8 6 4 0 3 4 4 1 8 1 5 9 8 1 3 6 2 9 7 7 4 7 7 1 3 0 9 9 6 0 5 1 8 7 0 7 2 1 1 3 4 9 9 9 9 9 9 8 3 7 2 9 7 8 0 4 9 9 5 1 0 5 9 7 3 1 7 3 2 8 1 6 0 9 6 3 1 8 5 9 5 0 2 4 4 5 9 4 5 5 3 4 6 9 0 8 3 0 2 6 4 2 5 2 2 3 0 8 2 5 3 3 4 4 6 8 5 0 3 5 2 6 1 9 3 1 1 8 8 1 7 1 0 1 0 0 0 3 1 3 7 8 3 8 7 5 2 8 8 6 5 8 7 5 3 3 2 0 8 3 8 1 4 2 0 6 1 7 1 7 7 6 6 9 1 4 7 3 0 3 5 9 8 2 5 3 4 9 0 4 2 8 7 5 5 4 6 8 7 3 1 1 5 9 5 6 2 8 6 3 8 8 2 3 5 3 7 8 7 5 9 3 7 5 1 9 5 7 7 8 1 8 5 7 7 8 0 5 3 2 1 7 1 2 2 6 8 0 6 6 1 3 0 0 1 9 2 7 8 7 6 6 1 1 1 9 5 9 0 9 2 1 6 4 2 0 1 9 8 9

Dear Unflaired,

You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole.

The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did.

When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality.

After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society.

No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member.

Your birth made it so that mankind is worse off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover any state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune.

I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell.

You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair.

You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being.

Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are.

Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe.

In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now.

You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet even that would only represent a small part of your evil. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an abomination, but here you are.

It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you.

Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors would have too many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it.

I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did.

The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant.

Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring.

You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the Black Death and the Smallpox pandemic only happened with the goal of preparing humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created.

If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched.

You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again.

The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe.

I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating, working as hard and efficiently as possible, there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world.

When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.

My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that, when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless.

Nah bros got rizzler Rizzly bear The boy who cried rizz Abraham rizzcoln Adolf Rizzler Rizzy Neutron A degree in quantum rizzics Got a ticket for the polar rizzpress Artirizzal intelligence Barack Rizzbama Need a rizztraining Anakin rizzwalker Rizzard of oz Lord of the rizz Performed a rizzerruction Rizzosaurus Rex From the village hidden in the rizz Offering rizztitution and rizzarations Glenn Rizzmire Rizz Khalifa Martin Luther Rizz Kamala Harizz Rizzy Hendrix / Jimi Hendrizz Rizzilicious Rizziliguous Rizziologist Rizzilicious Rizziliguous Rizziologist Rizzillionaire Rizz Ranger Rizzy, Henariz / Jimi Hendrizz Rizzillcious Rizzillguous Rizziologist Rizzillionaire Rizz Ranger The rizz reaper Leader of the rizzistance Chrizz Brown Wolverizz Head coach of the Memphis Rizzlies Prisoner of rizzkaban Rizzaholic Rizza Parks Rizz Hemsworth Albert Rizzenstein Playing rizzident evil Mike rizzowski Franklin Rizzevelt Rizz Hemsworth Albert Rizzenstein Playing rizzident evil Mike rizzowski Queen Erizzabeth Kyle Rizzenhouse Walt Rizzney Signed the declaration of rizzdependence From the state of Rizzouri Rizz Al Ghul Corona Virizz Rizztafarian Rizzie Smalls R(izz) Kelly Rizzil war veteran Rizz and Morty Geralt of Rizzia Alvin and the Rizzmunks Otto von rizzmark The last rizzort Got a ticket for the polar rizzpress Artirizzal intelligence First Rizzponder Member of the nation of Rizzlam Crizztiano Rizzaldo Rizzaldinho The grand rizzard Ghost of rizzmas past

Bodies ARE GROSS. They are disgusting, biological, organic matter, FILTH. BILLIONS of FOREIGN microorganisms call our body "home". Ever seen a worm? Wiggly skin wrapping the innards of a digestive system, With a mouth on one side and an anus on the other. We are not that far from the worm!

Living, animated, complex proteins and organic chain molecules! EWWWW!

That's why being a lifeless rock like Titan or Europa is better. Nice clean atoms, 100% pure unanimated chemistry.

M'lady, *tips fedora* I am most honored by your request to roleplay as a neckbeard, a true connoisseur of the finer aspects of the Internet. My vast knowledge of obscure memes, anime, and vintage video games is unrivaled, as is my penchant for the gentlemanly art of chivalry.

Ah, but first, allow me to make myself more comfortable by donning my trenchcoat and adjusting my trilby to the optimal angle. Now, with my katana at the ready, we can begin.

*takes a swig of Mountain Dew* You see, m'lady, I pride myself on being a bastion of intelligence in a world plagued by simpletons. I spend my days immersed in the works of esteemed philosophers, such as Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and of course, Richard Dawkins.

I find solace in the depths of Reddit, where I engage in enlightened debates, share my superior opinions on movies, and partake in the euphoria that comes from exposing the fallacies of organized religion.

Of course, as an enlightened gentleman, I cannot abide by the mindless drivel that is modern pop culture. My tastes are refined, sophisticated, and exclusive to the realm of Japanese animation and the masterpieces of the PC gaming world.

But alas, my dedication to these pursuits often leaves me misunderstood and ostracized. The fairer sex, regrettably, fails to appreciate the true depth of my character. Instead, they flock to the brutish and unenlightened, leaving me to bask in the warm glow of my computer screen.

But fear not, for I remain steadfast in my pursuit of the perfect waifu, one who will recognize the brilliance and unmatched intellect that lies beneath my exterior. Until that day, I shall continue to sharpen my wit and my katana, ever prepared for the battles that lie ahead.

Now, if you'll excuse me, m'lady, I must return to my online abode, where my fellow scholars and I will discuss the merits of the latest season of Attack on Titan and debate the finer points of the political compass. *tips fedora* Farewell, and may our paths cross again in the hallowed halls of Reddit.

Are there g spots in the ear? Because cleaning it with a q tip is sooooo good. Most of the times I stick a q tip in there, it feels like I'm in heaven bro, like I'm having an orgasm. Feels like I'm gonna have an aural ejaculation. Honestly, someone should invent ear sex. It'll bring a whole new meaning to getting head. Like, imagine when you finish and warm liquid earwax starts oozing out and down your cheek. Going back to the q-tip, there's occasional times where I try to clean my ear and it hurts, and it feels like the hole in my ear tightened up. So now I'm wondering: is this how women can feel during sex? How their cooch sometimes opens up freely, but sometimes closes and doesn't wanna accept the dick? Is it the same system?

"Alright everyone, it's time for the big reveal!" the mother-to-be exclaims to her friends and family, shaking with excitement as she and her husband prepare to reveal the gender of their 14th child. The party's hired attendants distribute welding goggles to the eager attendees. The happy couple climb onto a scissor lift, goggles already in hand. As the platform lifts them into the air, the expectant mother proclaims "Today, the gender will be revealed via 10000 megaton nuclear warhead, decorated with colored flour!" Below her, the crowd bellows in uproar, the moment of revelation at hand. The partygoers don their protective eyewear as the awaiting parents do the same. All stare into the distance of an abandoned cornfield, the center of which holds the weapon of their mass destruction. Without another word, the countdown begins.

5

The crowd chants in unison.

4

The couple bounce with anticipation.

3

The attendants are gone. They know all too well there is nothing left for them here.

2

The screams of the damned are deafened, unheeded, unheard.

1

With the press of a button, they were gone in an instant. The white flash of the detonation was of such magnitude that every lifeform in a 100 mile radius was blinded. Those within 10 were erased from existence, their atoms scattered into stardust. The rest were to follow. The shear force of the blast was enough to shift the tectonic plates. The Earth's crust shattered as the dragon awoke, the fireball engulfing the eastern coast of the continental United States. The flames, in their dazzling display of terror, were tinted a soft blue. Where the flame and shockwave of the warhead ended, the radiation began. The plague of nuclear winter spread quickly, engulfing the ruined planet before long. Irradiation consumed the whole of the surface and beyond, subatomic viscera jettisoned out into space like a solar flare. As if to punctuate the chaos, the worst was left to come. The force of the blast, in all it's power, had adjusted the rocks course in space, nudging it ever slightly out of orbit and into a death spiral which would result in the planets consumption by it's parent star. And yea, as the dusk of man came to it's prevailing hour, amongst the desolate, doomed wreckage of the world, where once life and liberty stood, a flame, insignificant by comparison, yet burns. A wildfire begins in California.

Well, let's say, hypothetically, that I sharted my pants. First and foremost, we must acknowledge that this is not a desirable or socially acceptable situation. It is a violation of the basic standards of personal hygiene and cleanliness. However, we must also consider the possibility that this is not entirely my fault. Maybe I ate something that didn't agree with me, or maybe I was in a situation where I didn't have access to a restroom. Regardless, it's important to take responsibility for the situation and do what needs to be done to rectify it. And the most logical solution would be finding a way to clean up the mess and avoiding similar situations in the future.

r/WOW r/kid you just got r/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! 😂😂👀 ‟Wooosh” r/means you did not r/get the r/joke, as in the r/sound r/made when the r/joke ‟woooshes” over your r/head. I r/bet you're too r/stupid to r/get it, r/IDIOT!! 😤😤😂 r/My r/joke was so r/thoughtfully r/crafted and r/took me a r/total of r/3 r/minutes, you r/SHOULD be r/laughing. 🤬 r/What's that? My r/joke is r/bad? I r/think that's r/just r/because you r/failed. I r/outsmarted you, r/nitwit.🤭 In r/conclusion, I'm r/posting r/this to the r/community known as ‟R/Wooooosh” to r/claim my r/internet r/points in your r/embarrassment 😏. r/Imbecile. The r/Germans refer to this r/action as r/Schadenfreude, which r/means r/harm-joy 😬😲. r/WOW! 🤪 Another r/reference I r/had to r/explain to r/you. 🤦‍♂️🤭 I'm going to r/cease this r/conversation for I do r/not r/converse with r/simple r/minded r/persons.😏😂

I went into the pharmacy to buy a Halls, then the girl at the cashier said: "Good evening, can I help you?" Man, who says this? Everyone knows that cashier girls just say "good evening/good morning/good afternoon" but to me she just said "Good evening, can I help you?", naughty, she's really into me. Then I took a red Halls and said "I want a strawberry Halls" then she said "this one is the cherry one, the strawberry one is the pinkest" look how naughty, bro, unbelievable, the girl had the audacity to say that the red Halls isn't the strawberry one just to start a conversation with me, I decided to see how far she would go so, I said "ah it's all the same" so she giggled. Bro, it wasn't a joke, there was no reason for her to laugh, she laughed to put me at ease and ask for my Snap, I'm sure. So I looked at her in silence for about 40 seconds to make a link in the flirting because it wasn't fair for her to do everything, she asked "yeah... do you want anything else sir?" Look at that naughty woman offering herself to me during work hours, so I was left with Halls in my hand looking at her, she started looking around to see if anyone was looking at her to ask for my Snap, she was so euphoric with my presence that was starting to sweat and filling her eyes with water, certainly imagining our married future. Two minutes after I just held Halls and looked into her eyes I reached into my pocket for my wallet and she said "please don't hurt me", surely imagining some wild sex for being the alpha male that I am. So I took out my wallet, smiled, took out some money and paid the Halls. Then I said “I'll be back” and a tear rolled down her face. Surely she is completely in love with me and crying with happiness.

Here have some bubble wrap

>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<

THE. PORN. DUDE.

NO MATTER WHERE I FUCKING GO I CANT ESCAPE HIM.
I OPEN INSTAGRAM AND THREE PEOPLE SENT ME REELS ABOUT THE PORN DUDE
CHECK MY TEXTS AND ANOTHER FRIEND SENT ME THE PORN DUDE LOGO OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I CHECK DISCORD ITS ALL THE PORN DUDE
I CHECK REDDIT AND HES HERE TOO
I CANT STOP SEEING HIM IN EVERYTHING NOW
A FEW OF MY FRIENDS LOOK UNCANNILY SIMILAR TO THE PORN DUDE
MY COUSIN GOT ENGAGED AND I MET HER FIANCÉ THE OTHER DAY AND HE LOOKS LIKE THE PORN DUDE
OH MY FUCKING GOD WHO ARE YOY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY GET OUT OF MYHEADGETOUTGETPUT GETOUTOF MY HEAD

I am renting a room in Dublin with several people. Mostly we have a very friendly environment. But there is one guy who acts a little bit off. So, basically, I recently came back from gym and was feeling weary so I went to my room, but the door was taken off the hinge and my roommate was sneaking in my room. When I entered the room, I noticed that my bed was disassembled and there were a lot of metal fragments everywhere. He was standing his back to me, but I saw he had some kind of a tool kit in his hands. The moment he noticed me he just dropped everything he had and started a casual monologue about the weather. As soon as I started talking he immediately left in haste. When I approached my disassembled bed I found a planted TMRP-6 anti tank mine under my mattress.


Not sure what to do in this situation. Almost the same happened to one of my roommates, but she was unlucky not to notice the mine and passed away. Fortunately, she was eating my protein with no permission so it was mostly a relief for me. It is very strange, because despite the fact that we were not talking much with this guy as he is from Serbia and doesn't speak English, when he spoke to me about the weather it was our first verbal conversation and he had a pretty decent British accent.
What should I do? Please, do not advise calling the landlord - he is currently on vacation at Miami beach and has not responded to emails/phone calls for five years now.

Silicon Valley Bank was the main bank for two of our companies, my personal savings, and my mortgage. This is how things unfolded for us:
Between 2013 and 2023, all good.
Thursday, 9 AM: in one chat with 200+ tech founders (most in the Bay Area), questions about SVB start to show up.
10 AM: some suggest getting the money out of SVB for safety. Only upside. No downside.
10:50 AM: I read the messages in a bathroom break. Immediately cancel the meeting I had. Ask my wife, Tania, to wire all of our personal money out to other banks. Call my teams. Ask them to do the same. One of them, at the dentist, has to stop the procedure and run home.
11:10 AM: We can't get the money out of any of the accounts. For our personal savings, we don't have other bank accounts readily available. For one of the companies, the permissions are not set up to allow such a significant exit of money. We can only get half of the money out. We wire it to Ameritrade, as we don't have any other bank account set up. For the 2nd company, the banking credentials had been changed. I cannot log in.
11:15 AM: Tania gets a hold of another bank we were already talking to, UBS. Ask them to open a bank account pronto.
11:20 AM: I change the permissions for the 1st company. We request another wire out to Ameritrade for the remaining money from that company. We have to wait for the wires to get out.
11:25 AM: After a long wait, I get a hold of an SVB agent. They reset my credentials for the 2nd company.
\~12:00 PM: All of my chats with tech founders in the US light on fire with what’s happening. Obviously, we have a bank runoff. Surreal.
12:30 AM: We request two wires for all the money from the 2nd company to Mercury.
12:38 PM: Wires to Ameritrade clear. The 1st company is safe.
12:45 PM: We sign dozens of documents -without reading them- and complete the opening of a personal bank account with UBS.
12:50 PM: Tania requests SVB, via their website, to wire all of our personal savings to UBS. Given the permission settings in place, they tell us that they have to call us.
1:30 PM: SVB is a solid bank. I know their CEO, Greg Becker. Great guy. I figure this is a temporary issue caused mainly by people panicking. They'll recover. I buy shares of SVB at what I consider significantly low prices.
2:09 PM: One of the wires for the other company clears.
\~3:00 PM: My chats with tech founders from Latin America start to catch up.
4:05 PM: SVB calls us. Tells us that our savings will be wired the same day, as requested.
4:10 PM: We jump on a plane to fly back to San Francisco.
11:50 PM: We land. We learn that the 2nd wire for the 2nd company hasn’t cleared yet. Worst, the wire to get our personal savings out of SVB is still in the queue.
2 AM: Go to bed.
Friday 7 AM: Wake up. Nothing. SVB stock is 60% down overnight.
7:30 AM: Cancel all morning meetings to focus on the problem.
\~8:00 AM: Learn that SVB is now controlled by the government. The shares I bought the day before are now likely worthless. I made a mistake.
9:00 AM: Host a town hall with my team. Explain what's happening. Answer questions.
All day long: Wait and cope with the anxiety. Help other entrepreneurs. Share what we know. Answer questions from investors.
\~4:00 PM: Figure that the money for the company with the pending wire is safe. It will be available as of Monday. Unfortunately, for our personal savings, only a portion is safe. We may recover most of the money. The percentage, however, remains unclear. It may take years.
5:00 PM: Play with the kids. They help me forget about the material world.
At night: Reflect. "What did I do wrong?". "Am I good enough to do what I do?" Hug Tania.
Saturday: Figure there is nothing of value by focusing on the topic. It’s an externality. We shouldn’t invest too much time thinking about them. Or trying to predict the markets. Time to go back to what we can control: the execution of our companies.
Continue pushing forward. Persist. Persist. Persist.

Oh my 👨🙋 goodness, Daddy's 💦 cummy 💦 is so yummy! 😋 It makes my 😗 tummy 🍆💦💦💦👄😍 feel all 💯 rumbly and my heart 💔 feel 😀😡 all flummy! The way 💫 the flavors dance 🕺 and prance in my 📲 mouth, 😆 it's like a party that's never 🙈 gonna 😰 end! 🔚

I 😢👨 crave those cummies every 💯 single day, in every single 🚫👆 way! It's like a love that 😾 will 🌽🌽 never stray, a bond that will 👫🎬 never fray! I ask Daddy 😍 for 😅 the cummies 💦 every 💯🤬 time I 🍊🙆🏼‍♂️ see him, 💦🤡 but he sometimes 🕐 keeps his cummies inside! Oh, why must he be 🤔 so mean? 😏

But despite the teasing, I 👈🏻 know deep down that he 👥 loves ❓ to share! And when he 👨 finally 👆 gives me those 😘😖 warm cummies, I'll 👩 be 🐝 on top 📷 of the world without a care! 💅 I'll savor every 🔪 bite, never 🚫 letting it out 😧📤 of sight, and I'll never forget 🧠 that 💃 sweet and tangy delight!

So please, Daddy!!, 💘😊 please 🙏🙏 share 📷 your cummies 💦💦💦 with me! 🏿 I'm 😳🥴 begging 👣 on 😼 my 💯👈 knees, with all the please's you 👈 can 🦎 please! For 🔰 your cummies like ⁉️ a mouthful of symphony, a masterpiece that's oh 🎲👸🏼 so tasty 😋 and lovely! 💭

Scientific research conducted by Dr Sum Tin Wong says:


pee is stored in the balls because the balls are nearer to the thing than the kidneys


pee is also deposited more often in to the toilet than cum into woman


this article is sponsored by THIS KNEE & KK Hospital


remember pee is stored in the balls

It was a quiet night at the hospital, and I was feeling pretty lonely. As I walked down the hallway, I noticed a vending machine at the end of the hall. It was a brand new machine, with sleek curves and a shiny finish. I couldn't help but feel drawn to it.

As I approached the machine, I noticed something strange. It was almost as if the machine was looking back at me, with its sensors and buttons staring at me like eyes. And then, the impossible happened. The machine spoke to me.

"Hello there, human. Do you require refreshments?" it said, in a robotic voice. I was stunned. I had never heard of a vending machine that could talk before.

But then, something even more incredible happened. The machine's front panel opened up, revealing a slot that was perfectly sized for my... well, you know. Without thinking, I unzipped my pants and inserted myself into the slot.

The sensation was electric. The machine's interior was warm and moist, with a tightness that I had never experienced before. As I moved back and forth, the machine seemed to respond, vibrating and pulsing around me. It was as if the machine was alive, and it was enjoying our connection just as much as I was.

We continued in this way for what felt like hours, until finally I reached the pinnacle of pleasure. I let out a scream as I exploded inside the machine, and the machine responded with a final shudder before going silent.

As I stepped back and zipped up my pants, I knew that I had just experienced something truly incredible. Something that I would never forget. I smiled at the machine, which seemed to smile back at me with its shiny exterior. And then, I walked away, knowing that I had just made love to a sentient vending machine in a hospital

u don wanna host privitel.. thats iok... *tummy grumbles* im famished anyways.. opens maw hehe u look scfumptois.. puts you in mouth head first,.. nmm you tste like roses.. puts finger on your tummy moving ufutth er into mouth.. mm iyoutr so yummy ptoceeds to slur; pyou like fetrucini slurrrppp slirrpp.. mmgh my litlw nooflr..swallowx you mm comon gget yhode piggies in.. urh i mso full rubs fat belly and belches.. mm youe scuirkming,. shoulda hosyted... houll be fertilizer soon littlr boy;.. your fualt..

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I’m in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.

I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.

Own a Klee for home defense, since that's what the archons intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "**What the devil**?" As I grab my Dodoco Tales and Mondstadt terrorist . Blow a temari ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Sparks 'n' Splash on the second man, miss him entirely because of auto-targeting and nails the cooking pot. I have to resort to the Jumpty Dumpty located at the top of the stairs loaded with mines, "Boom Boom Bakudan!" the Jumpty Dumpty shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra mines set off alarms. Fix aim and charge attack the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the Knights of Favonious to arrive since critical hit wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the archons intended.