navy seal copy-pasta but shakespeare
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Hark! What utterance didst thou just spout, thou puny creature? I prithee, be warned, I, who hath graduated foremost from the ranks of the Navy Seals, hath partaken in myriad clandestine operations against the vile Al-Quaeda, and hath vanquished over three hundred foes, stand before thee. Verily, I am a skilled warrior, trained in the tactics of guerrilla warfare, and I am the paramount sniper in the entire armed forces of the United States. Thou art nothing but a target to me, and with precision the likes of which have never before been seen on this Earth, I shall eliminate thee. Mark my words! Dost thou believe that thy flippant remark on the internet shall go unpunished? Think again! Even now, I dispatch my secret network of spies across the breadth of the USA to trace thy IP, so prepare thyself for the tempest! The tempest that shall wipe away the paltry existence thou callest thy life! Thou art done, little one! I can appear at any place, at any time, and with my bare hands alone, I can bring about thy demise in over seven hundred ways. Not only am I skilled in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the US Marine Corps, and I shall employ it to its fullest extent to obliterate thee from the face of the continent, thou insignificant wretch! Oh, if only thou couldst have foreseen the retribution thy thoughtless comment would bring upon thee, perhaps thou wouldst have refrained from speaking. But alas, thou couldst not, and now thou shalt pay the price, thou fool! I shall unleash my wrath upon thee, and thou shalt be engulfed by it. Thou art finished, young one.