You will never be a real chad. You have no balls, you have no muscles, you have no visible veins. You are soyboy twisted by ideology and larping into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish physique behind closed doors.
Men and women are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed humans to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Your body structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk person to be interested you, they’ll turn tail and bolt the second they gets a taste of your diseased, infected lie.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a trash bag, put it in a can, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your planters will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your highschool nockname, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a retard is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a stench that unmistakably belongs to a loser.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

The year is 2023. And in this godforsaken year Kendrick lost two awards to Harry Styles. The first one was Album Of The Year Award at the Grammys. While it was a sad loss, I think we all expected The Grammys to make some out of pocket, insane choices that will anger everyone, as is expected with their shows. But today... Kendrick lost to Harry Styles AGAIN for what might be considered to be the most important award of all time - The Kid's Choice Awards. An award so life changing to everyone nominated and awarded. Everyone is excited for the next award show each year. Everyone in the entire world is waiting for the results of The Kid's Choice Awards. And somehow, that british pop-friendly motherfucker comes on, and swoops the award right from Kendrick's nose. I cannot comprehend how this happened. I told everyone to vote for Kendrick. I made 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS just to vote for him. Are you fucking telling me that nobody listened? Are you telling me that kids would rather listen to Harry Styles singing about dancing and loving someone with the most radio-friendly pop beat instead of dissecting the intrecencies of Kendrick Lamar albums and their themes? Are you telling me they would rather isten to some shit like ,,As It Was", instead of a song that can remind them of their parents, AKA. ,,We Cry Together"? Fucking bullshit man. I'm screaming in my hotel room. I'm going to self-destruct.

Holy fucking shit it happened, I saw a little femboy on the other side of the camp today and immediately started to convulse violently. That night I came in his little boipussy and I have never been happier.

Army femboys truly are a blessing from god

Hey Reddit, I know the title sounds bad, but hear me out. I own an apartment complex and I've been renting to this single mom of six for 13 years. She's always been a good tenant, but this month she was 25 seconds late on her rent payment. And I mean, come on, 25 seconds?

Now, I know some of you may say that I'm being petty, but I was just trying to make a statement. You see, I believe in punctuality and responsibility, and I couldn't let her slide just because she had a good reason.

Speaking of her reason, she claimed that her son needed heart surgery and she had trouble coming up with the money. But come on, who doesn't have a credit card these days? Plus, I'm sure her son's heart can wait a few more days until she gets her finances in order.

I know some of you may be thinking, "But she's been a good tenant for 13 years, can't you cut her some slack?" Well, no, I can't. Rules are rules, and if I make an exception for her, then I'll have to make an exception for everyone.

Plus, I have to admit, I kind of enjoyed seeing the look on her face when I handed her the eviction notice. It was like she couldn't believe it was happening. But hey, that's what happens when you're not on time with your rent payment.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for evicting a single mom of six over 25 seconds of late rent payment? Personally, I think I'm in the right, but I'm open to hearing your opinions.

Industrial Society and Its Future Theodore Kaczynski. INTRODUCTION 1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human being to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries. 2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. 3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later. 4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society. 5. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MODERN LEFTISM 6. Almost everyone will agree that we live in a deeply troubled society. One of the most widespread manifestations of the craziness of our world is leftism, so a discussion of the psychology of leftism can serve as an introduction to the discussion of the problems of modern society in general. 7. But what is leftism? During the first half of the 20th century leftism could have been practically identified with socialism. Today the movement is fragmented and it is not clear who can properly be called a leftist. When we speak of leftists in this article we have in mind mainly socialists, collectivists, “politically correct” types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal rights activists and the like. But not everyone who is associated with one of these movements is a leftist. What we are trying to get at in discussing leftism is not so much movement or an ideology as a psychological type, or rather a collection of related types. Thus, what we mean by “leftism” will emerge more clearly in the course of our discussion of leftist psychology. (Also, see paragraphs 227-230.) 8. Even so, our conception of leftism will remain a good deal less clear than we would wish, but there doesn’t seem to be any remedy for this. All we are trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the two psychological tendencies that we believe are the main driving force of modern leftism. We by no means claim to be telling the WHOLE truth about leftist psychology. Also, our discussion is meant to apply to modern leftism only. We leave open the question of the extent to which our discussion could be applied to the leftists of the 19th and early 20th centuries. 9. The two psychological tendencies that underlie modern leftism we call “feelings of inferiority” and “oversocialization”. Feelings of inferiority are characteristic of modern leftism as a whole, while oversocialization is characteristic only of a certain segment of modern leftism; but this segment is highly influential. FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY 10. By “feelings of inferiority” we mean not only inferiority feelings in the strict sense but a whole spectrum of related traits; low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, depressive tendencies, defeatism, guilt, self-hatred, 1 etc. We argue that modern leftists tend to have some such feelings (possibly more or less repressed) and that these feelings are decisive in determining the direction of modern leftism. 11. When someone interprets as derogatory almost anything that is said about him (or about groups with whom he identifies) we conclude that he has inferiority feelings or low self-esteem. This tendency is pronounced among minority rights activists, whether or not they belong to the minority groups whose rights they defend. They are hypersensitive about the words used to designate minorities and about anything that is said concerning minorities. The terms “negro”, “oriental”, “handicapped” or “chick” for an African, an Asian, a disabled person or a woman originally had no derogatory connotation. “Broad” and “chick” were merely the feminine equivalents of “guy”, “dude” or “fellow”. The negative connotations have been attached to these terms by the activists themselves. Some animal rights activists have gone so far as to reject the word “pet” and insist on its replacement by “animal companion”. Leftish anthropologists go to great lengths to avoid saying anything about primitive peoples that could conceivably be interpreted as negative. They want to replace the word “primitive” by “nonliterate”. They seem almost paranoid about anything that might suggest that any primitive culture is inferior to our own. (We do not mean to imply that primitive cultures ARE inferior to ours. We merely point out the hyper sensitivity of leftish anthropologists.) 12. Those who are most sensitive about “politically incorrect” terminology are not the average black ghettodweller, Asian immigrant, abused woman or disabled person, but a minority of activists, many of whom do not even belong to any “oppressed” group but come from privileged strata of society. Political correctness has its stronghold among university professors, who have secure employment with comfortable salaries, and the majority of whom are heterosexual white males from middle- to upper-middle-class families. 13. Many leftists have an intense identification with the problems of groups that have an image of being weak (women), defeated (American Indians), repellent (homosexuals) or otherwise inferior. The leftists themselves feel that these groups are inferior. They would never admit to themselves that they have such feelings, but it is precisely because they do see these groups as inferior that they identify with their problems. (We do not mean to suggest that women, Indians, etc. ARE inferior; we are only making a point about leftist psychology.) 14. Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong and as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may NOT be as strong and as capable as men. 15. Leftists tend to hate anything that has an image of being strong, good and successful. They hate America, they hate Western civilization, they hate white males, they hate rationality. The reasons that leftists give for hating the West, etc. clearly do not correspond with their real motives. They SAY they hate the West because it is warlike, imperialistic, sexist, ethnocentric and so forth, but where these same faults appear in socialist countries or in primitive cultures, the leftist finds excuses for them, or at best he GRUDGINGLY admits that they exist; whereas he ENTHUSIASTICALLY points out (and often greatly exaggerates) these faults where they appear in Western civilization. Thus it is clear that these faults are not the leftist’s real motive for hating America and the West. He hates America and the West because they are strong and successful. 16. Words like “self-confidence”, “self-reliance”, “initiative”, “enterprise”, “optimism”, etc., play little role in the liberal and leftist vocabulary. The leftist is antiindividualistic, pro-collectivist. He wants society to solve every one’s problems for them, satisfy everyone’s needs for them, take care of them. He is not the sort of person who has an inner sense of confidence in his ability to solve his own problems and satisfy his own needs. The leftist is antagohistic to the concept of competition because, deep inside, he feels like a loser. 17. Art forms that appeal to modern leftish intellectuals tend to focus on sordidness, defeat and despair, or else they take an orgiastic tone, throwing off rational control as if there were no hope of accomplishing anything through rational calculation and all that was left was to immerse oneself in the sensations of the moment. 18. Modern leftish philosophers tend to dismiss reason, science, objective reality and to insist that everything is culturally relative. It is true that one can ask serious questions about the foundations of scientific knowledge and about how, if at all, the concept of objective reality can be defined. But it is obvious that modern leftish philosophers are not simply cool-headed logicians systematically analyzing the foundations of knowledge. They are deeply involved emotionally in their attack on truth and reality. They attack these concepts because of their own psychological needs. For one thing, their attack is an outlet for hostility, and, to the extent that it is successful, it satisfies the drive for power. More importantly, the leftist hates science and rationality because they classify certain beliefs as true (i.e., successful, superior) and other beliefs as false (i.e., failed, inferior). The leftist’s feelings of inferiority run so deep that he cannot tolerate any classification of some things as successful or superior and other things as failed or inferior. This also underlies the rejection by many leftists of the concept of mental illness and of the utility of IQ tests. Leftists are antagonistic to genetic explanations of human abilities or behavior because such explanations tend to make some persons appear superior or inferior to others. Leftists prefer to give society the credit or blame for an individual’s ability or lack of it. Thus if a person is “inferior” it is not his fault, but society’s, because he has not been brought up properly. 19. The leftist is not typically the kind of person whose feelings of inferiority make him a braggart, an egotist, a bully, a self-promoter, a ruthless competitor. This kind of person has not wholly lost faith in himself. He has a deficit in his sense of power and self-worth, but he can still conceive of himself as having the capacity to be strong, and his efforts to make himself strong produce his unpleasant behavior. \[1\] But the leftist is too far gone for that. His feelings of inferiority are so ingrained that he 2 cannot conceive of himself as individually strong and valuable. Hence the collectivism of the leftist. He can feel strong only as a member of a large organization or a mass movement with which he identifies himself. 20. Notice the masochistic tendency of leftist tactics. Leftists protest by lying down in front of vehicles, they intentionally provoke police or racists to abuse them, etc. These tactics may often be effective, but many leftists use them not as a means to an end but because they PREFER masochistic tactics. Self-hatred is a leftist trait.

Around two years ago I fell down a rabbit hole of parasocial fixation directed towards a semi-popular Youtuber. The details of who aren't important, all you need to know is that they have a series of videos where they react to the memes on their own subreddit. For months I was obsessed with the idea of something I made getting into one of their videos, so I decided to game the system with one of the many, many online botting services that let you buy upvotes. That way I could force my memes onto the sub's trending tab.

I learned two things doing this: the first is that these services work in the short term. Most paid upvote sites will net you about 100 upvotes for the price of lunch, which is enough to get a post off the ground, but you need a decent post to gain momentum unless you're willing to invest a lot into forcing one viral post. The second thing I learned is that Reddit is pretty good at catching when you cheat the system. After sinking thirty bucks into a post to get the ball rolling, my account got slapped by a twelve-day suspension for suspicious activity. In the end it wasn't very useful for getting a meme into a video compilation.

What it did prove useful for was 'winning' arguments.

You see, a lot of paid upvoting services will try their best to implement safeguards against Reddit's automatic detection. This is usually in the form of spacing out their updates over time: ten upvotes a minute, or 100 spread out over an hour in random intervals, etc. If you're really desperate to boost a post on the spot you CAN tell these services to dump a hundred upvotes into a post or comment instantly. The sites warn you this will almost certainly get you suspended, but you can do it anyway.

You can probably figure out where this is going. After my account got suspended I was left with about 300 upvotes worth of "credits" (they make you buy in bulk) and was cold on the idea of using it for Reddit clout. But there was a really active user on the sub who I didn't like very much, so I dumped the rest of my upvotes into one of his comments to see what would happen. Lo and behold, guy stops posting for a week straight. I check his account near the end of the month, and I see him complaining about his account getting frozen and Reddit refusing to help.

And buddy, let me tell you. For a guy with very few hobbies, a well-paying job, and a lot of time on my hands, this is like being given the power of a god. The most sophisticated anti-botting tools in the world can only detect when vote manipulation happens, but moderation is only making the normal, rational assumption that the person whose votes get inflated is the same person who bought the votes when they issue a ban. They can't just audit these bot sites for logs. They can't account for inexplicable malice.

This reliably gets people locked out of their accounts, banned from their favorite subreddits, and I'm pretty sure I've gotten a few accounts permanently banned by forcing repeat offenses over months of botting. The accounts stopped posting, that's for sure. What are they going to say in an appeal, that it wasn't them buying their fake upvotes?

I have spent hundreds of dollars monthly, literal thousands of dollars on this over two years doing this. This might my new favorite hobby. I have the money to burn to keep it up as long as I want. I don't think I'll ever stop.

You gonna stay on my isotherm until you ***die***. You serve no purpose in life. Your purpose in life is to perform *my* Legendre transformation into *my* ensemble **daily**. Your purpose is mixing *that* gas increasing *that* entropy **daily.** Your Goldstone modes are **NOTHING**. You exhibit **ZERO** spontaneous symmetry breaking. You should cross over... ***NOW.*** And give somebody else a bit of that *renormalisation* group flow with scaling functions so we can see this *critical behaviour*. Because what are you here for? To signal a **phase change??** ***CROSS OVER.*** *I mean that in* ***probability*** *I mean that almost* ***surely***.

fucking kill yourself, seriously. no one thinks you're funny. i don't like you, no one likes you. i'm glad that you have problems with self harm because genuinely you deserve it. i hope that every time you think you're worthless yoh think of me. i hate you.

LeBum

A long time ago, I met a beautiful young woman while I was out one night. We fell in love at first sight, and not long after I bought a ring and got down on one knee for her. We got married, had beautiful children, and grew old together. A few weeks ago, she passed away gently in my arms. Her family and I coordinated a funeral in rememberance of her love and kindness. In the middle of the ceremony, LeDissapointment shows up and tries to take the ring off of my late wife’s finger. As my wife’s family starts wailing in horror, I look LeMid square in the eyes and tell him to find a non-Mickey Mouse ring somewhere else. After he refuses, I try to walk up to LeFuneral Crasher to escort him out, but once I got within 10 feet, LeForehead flops so dramatically that he falls into the casket where my wife rests peacefully. I see LeFortnite slip the ring from my wife’s hand, giving LeFraud his 5th illigitimate ring. Although we try to catch him, our speed is no match for LeMeltdown’s mickey mouse legs (which he paid millions of dollars for). LeThief ruined what was supposed to be a sacred night of remembrance for my wife. I called Adam Silver to discuss the stolen ring and he kept asking me how many finals rings I had. “As many as LeBum does” I would say. I am writing this to express my formal written complaint regarding LeSucks At Basketball and I hope that he will return his stolen rings soon.

owo!!! (\^w\^) i love your cummies (0///0) can we pwease gets a roomies and we cans (0///0;;) havies sum sexies??? awahh... kitty chan is swuupur nwervis to ask this... u-um, but last night kitty chan took her smol tinpsy vibrator and took it to her litterbox (-m-) so she could be stwimulated while she pissied.... owner kun dwidnt like when i pissied over his face to asswert dominance (0m0;;) so yea... ummies awlso i was wonderwing iff (0///0) i-if we could \*b-blushes a little and turns away and fiddles w-with my skirt\* if we c-could pwerhaps (0///0) hwold hands before marriage a-and piss the bed and lick it up and then take a-a bath afterwards (0///0) and shit in the water a-and then dwink the water and then throw up into eachothers mouths!!! EEEEKKK!!! (0///0) im SOOOO silly and dirty!!! i ams the tinsiest scrinkle mipo!!! i am the loli ever!!!!!!!!!!! \*sighs and tilts your chin up for a kiss\* (0///0;;) i wanna piss inside your ass s-so bad... meet me soon my love!!! (\^w\^)!!! signed, kitty chan xoxoxo (0///0)

‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ASSASSINS CREED REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 ASSASSINS CREED IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 EZIO IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 "When I Was A Young Man. I Had Liberty, But I Did Not See It. I Had Time, But I Did Not Know It. And I Had Love, But I Did Not Feel It." 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩Requiescat in paceRequiescat in paceRequiescat in paceRequiescat in paceRequiescat in paceRequiescat in paceRequiescat in pace 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡

Ezio Auditore da Firenze: Everything is permitted. Niccolò Machiavelli: We work in the dark, to serve the light. We are assassins. Niccolò Machiavelli: Nothing is true, everything is permitted.Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️Ezio: Do not be afraid.\] I feel no fear, assassin. Only regret.🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️“Everything is permitted, Nothing is true.”“Everything is permitted, Nothing is true.”😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/assassins creed r/unexpectedassassinscreed r/expected assassins creed perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance

Batman: End of the line Riddler! You’ll never get away with your plan

Riddler: I’ve come up with a riddle even you can’t solve

Batman: What is it, Riddler?

Riddler: Riddle me this, Bat-Mid: Who was in paris?

Batman: Damnit Riddler, you know I can’t say the answer

Riddler: But I know someone who can

Joker: Hello Bat-Boy

Batman: Oh no, Joker B-But… you’re not even black!

Joker: I don’t have to be Batman, I have my first amendment rights

Batman: But they’ll cancel you, Joker!

Joker: I’m already banned from Twitter, Batman, I’ve got nothing to lose

Batman: Joker I’ll give you anything, just don’t say it!

Joker: Can you give me the N-word pass?

Batman: Wh-What? You know I can’t give-

Joker: Then it’s too late Batman I’m gonna say it!

Batman: No Joker, You don’t know what you’re doing!

Joker: You can’t stop me Batman, I’m gonna crank that hard R!

Batman: No Joker please you can’t just-

Joker: Don’t be a fascist Batman I’m gonna say it-

I do not have cancer.

My lungs contain precisely 0 smoking damage.

In fact,

I have an 8L lung capacity and the vital signs of an Olympic athlete

There is nothing but a scar on my lung from an old battle.

True warriors are scarred both inside and out.

As one of the most influential men on the face of the planet

It is important for the good of humanity that I live as long as possible

At my current strength levels, I estimate to survive for at least 5000 more years

With this in mind, I take my medical care extremely seriously

I had a regular checkup organized in Dubai pre-detention.

The doctors were extremely interested in the scar on my lung.

They do not understand how I survive without treatment.

They do not know the secrets of Wudan.

But this battle has long passed.

What the actual fuck Epic?!! 🤬This is not acceptable, I’m not going to clean my room, 🧹take a daily shower 🚿 do the dishes, take out the trash and keep a god damned c+ grade average 📖🤓just to beg my mom to buy me flat assed basic Fortnite skin bitches! 🥱
Mom 👩 has a very strict parental block 🚫⛔️🔞on my computer and phone so this is all I have for spank material!!! 🧴Get your shit together!!!!

Infinite guns.

You go to America for a vacation, and are amused by the number of guns. As you step out of JFK International Airport, thousands of obese MAGA-hat-wearing open-carry supporters swarm the taxi stand. The guns accelerate. You run towards the road and book an Uber, but the driver gets shot as he picks you up. The guns accelerate. You get into a bus carrying 50 kgs of luggage, and annoyed co-passengers fire their Colts at the driver in rage. The guns accelerate. You have now reached New Jersey. Bleeding out, the driver pays the $10 toll with his last breath as methheads spray the side of the bus with Uzis. The guns accelerate. You run into the nearest gun store and buy bulletproof armor with the last of your savings. Just in time - other customers are test-firing Smith & Wessons at you. The guns accelerate. You call your grand-uncle in rural New Jersey asking him to pick you up, but of course he gets stuck in a mass shootout on the way. The guns accelerate. You steal an AK-56 and a grenade launcher from a corpse on the sidewalk. The guns accelerate. Tucker Carlson is in a helicopter overhead, zooming in on you with both his camera and his sniper rifle, congratulating the Department of Tourism for making America such an exciting experience for foreigners. The guns accelerate. Armed rats begin to climb out of the sewer, starting gang wars with other rats from other sewers. The guns accelerate. The president announces that murder is legal. You begin to fire at everyone and everything without consequence. You start to like it. The guns accelerate. Forever.

Did you know Dragon cum is one of the most delightful substances on earth? Not only is it slightly warmer than human cum, and much thicker, too. The thickness comes the excess amount of fat that the dragon’s body wouldn’t expel normally by other means. So, it’s fattier. Any culinary chef will tell you that “fat carries the flavor.” When they say this, they mean things like oil, butter, and animal fat. Fattier cuts of meat are usually more flavorful than lean cuts.

This applies to dragon cum. Human cum tastes like sea water that is slightly expired, whereas dragon cum tastes like a whole buffet that could force Michelin to re-establish their star rating system.

It’s like an orgasm for your taste buds.

Imagine 69’ing your dragon boyfriend, and a few seconds after you finish, so does he. This heavenly, thick, delicious syrup fills your mouth and you instantly orgasm throughout your entire body. You’re immediately horny again. Thankfully, dragons don’t really have a refractory period, so he’s ready for round two. Then three. Before you know it, you’ve both came a few gallons in total (mostly his work), and it’s a full thirty hours since you stared. You’re not even hungry or thirsty, because his cum has enough nutrients to keep you well fed and fully nourished.

Scientifically, since it’s warmer, it should be actually thinner than human cum because viscosity decreases with temperature. (Try this out with olive oil in a pan! Heat it up, and it will spread out by itself) However, the presence of the extra fat in the cum keeps it nice and thick.

It’s extremely satisfying to play with. It’s like that cornstarch+water experiment you did in 4th grade. It’s somewhat like melted caramel. Furthermore, it coheres to itself pretty well. If you stick a finger in a puddle of dragon cum and drag it from the center to away from the corner, you can observe a large amount sticking to your finger

The chemical composition of dragon cum not only serves as an aphrodisiac, but it also heightens the sensitivity of C-tactile neurons, or CT nerves. CT nerves serve to give pleasure to a human when they are gently stroked. These neurons fire slowly than others, but dragon cum acts like a “catalyst” for the chemical reactions that take place when these neurons fire. A catalyst speeds up the reaction of a chemical reaction.

So after a dragon covers your entire GI tract with a single cumshot, he’ll slow down, slowly thrusting his cock back and forth inside you. This is extremely pleasurable. His cum will heighten the sensation of his cock in you, or at least your pleasure from doing so. It feels bigger, longer, and warmer.

Back to the taste.

The taste depends on the dragon’s diet. The smaller, sleeker dragons of the North Forest like to eat fruit. So, their cum is naturally sweeter than you would expect. It tastes like mango covered in salted caramel.

If it’s an ice dragon, the cum tends to be much more flavorful because they like to eat seals. However, since it’s you know... an ice dragon, the cum is very cold, almost growing a few frozen cum crystals if you leave it in the snow for too long. There is a solution, tho. You can just microwave a large mug and drink it later. Or, you can intentionally leave the cum in the snow, let it half-freeze, and enjoy a chewy treat! It’s like taffy!

Theoretically, a human can fully survive on a diet of just dragon cum, supplied from just one dragon.

Dragons can produce about three gallons of cum in a single day. It really depends mostly on their size. / In a single cumshot, they can produce about four to eight cups of the stuff. Dragon ejaculations tend to last between fifteen to twenty seconds, coming out in bursts and spurts that get slightly weaker each time. If a dragon cums in your ass, you will certainly feel this effect. It’s similar to getting a massage internally, again, only 300 times better.

Shut up boy you look like a velociraptor in a clogged toilet bowl! Bruh you look like an off brand Ben 10 character! Nah you ain’t Ben 10 you Steven 9! Get yo ass back boy, you look like you got expelled for barking at yo lunch lady! Shut yo ass up boy, you ain’t from Jurassic Park, you came from the prehistoric playground! Get yo ass out boy you like Clifford the big red dog’s fossil! Boy what are you talking about with yo nasty ass boy you better get yo 🎶autumn was an average kid that no one understands WOAHH! Mom and Dad and Grandma always giving him commands!🎶Lookin ass boy bruh your balls dropped and then climbed back up boy! Stop playing with me boy you sexually identify as an unsolved Rubik’s cube! You made an NFT of your grandma twerking on a pickle! You tried turning your dishwasher into a bitcoin mining rig! Your best friend is a little mouse who lives under your bed in a Pringles can! Mom uses a jump rope as a belt! Your grandpa got an emergency heart transplant with a capri sun pouch! Your barber lined you up with a weedwacker! You had esex with Moby from Brain Pop in an encrypted HTML file! Uncle got arrested for eating a blueberry out of an orangutan’s asshole! Your sister’s currently engaged to an anthropomorphic dung beetle named, Stefan! Grandpa got held up by a pigeon with a Mohawk on the subway! You posted an Instagram story of a Jamaican cricket giving a lap dance in the back of a toys R us! Your dad was trying to flip Patrick the star’s belly button lint on the dark web to pay off your house mortgage! Your mother bought you a PS5 for successfully drawing a triangle

Hello there, server owner! My name is Nathan Kinnebrand. I am applying for your position: "Moderator/Server cleanup" on your discord server. I have exceeded the required qualifications but I am still interested in your job opening. Here are my qualifications:

​

I am 21 years old.

I weigh in at 180 kilograms.

My diet consists of fast food and Mountain Dew.

I have moderated over 200 discord servers and 91 subreddits, all of which held over twenty thousand members.

I am a 6 on the Hamilton Norwood hair loss scale.

I have a 4 foot long beard.

I take a 3 minute shower once a month.

​

I am available every day from 11:00 am to 3:00 am with a one hour break from 3:30 to 4:30 pm. My schedule in the morning consists of working from 3:30 am until 8:00 am. I drive my girlfriend to school every morning at 8:30 until she turns 16. I have to spend 2 and a half hours eating ice cream for breakfast then that is when I will start my shift. My hour long break will involve picking up my girlfriend from school and eating McDonalds.

​

I hope this direct message finds you well and I also hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.

Regards, Nathan.