Ah so you went on my account? Cool, ig your biggest haters are your biggest supporters as they say, but yes I’m 14, and SOMEHOW I have more experience with this than y’all, makes me feel like the human race is failing, tell me why I’m the only person with sense in this thread, I can’t see why y’all are supporting shit people like this it’s so stupid, it’s either I’m smarter than all you adults or you adults are dumb as hell, I like to say it’s the first option but those are the only 2 ways it can go

Jada pinkett's excuse for cheating on Will Smith was that "he didn't give her enough attention." That is a classic manipulative move of a cheater - to shift the blame in the victim. And it works with this dynamic, because for Will Smith to make himself look out like too much of a victim, it makes him look like less of a man. And she seems to know that (although she might just be lucky).

He wasn't okay with being cheated on. He's battered. Which is why he awkwardly stood up for her at the Grammys, because he's desperately trying to prevent his abusive wife from leaving him.

Hi,

I have been assigned to your case from Assassinational. I am glad to inform you that your name was on the top of the bidding list, finally selling for 34 BTC to yours truly. So, sir, we have two options. Either I flay you alive and record a video of it (to send as proof) or I bomb your area (with a radius of 10 miles) and record the debris for proof. I'm a quite experienced hitman and this is my 500th assassination so I wanted to give you a choice. The pros of flaying are that only you will die and everyone else is safe. The problem is that it is a quite slow and painful death. Whereas, in the bombing, that will be quick and painless but no less than 30 people are going to perish.

The choice is yours and yours alone.

Assassinational Team

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM

and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door.

Your feet make a loud "thud" as vou take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care.

Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

This game is making me go ballistic. I was at a bar with my friends last weekend when my friend mentioned how many trophies he was at. I played it cool and lied about how many I was at but he had passed me on trophy road and I had to play so i went to the bathroom and of course my first game I match against hog and my phone dies half way through. I was so mad and had to play so I walked to a gas station and bought a charger but had no where to plug it in and was bored of the bar and in a rage I just didn’t care anymore and unplugged the cooler with all the ice cream in it and sat on the floor waiting for it to charge and started playing. I couldn’t win because I kept playing firecracker and hog and skarol and by the time the employee caught on the dipping dots and multiple other ice cream items were melted and deformed inside the package. I told him I didn’t care and in comes a cop who proceeded to arrest me confiscate my fake id and put me on a 6 hour hold in a cell. This is the worst game ever and on the way there all I could think about was getting emoted on when I lost to lavahound I didn’t even care I was arrested this is the biggest rage game I’ve ever played. How am I supposed to win when I’m getting hard countered in every match?

I love the fact that the lasers in the animation have recoil not because of anything wrong with the physics but because it implies that these guns are firing out enough energy in the form of light (Electromagnetic Radiation) to move those massive tank barrels and guns. this is an insane amount of energy all coming from semen. For reference on how much energy this is, a 300 megawatt laser would only have about 1 Newton of recoil, about as much as an apple on your hand. A 300 megawatt laser can easily cut through solid steel and is about 60,000 times more powerful than industrial laser cutters. The lasers we are seeing have hundreds of thousands of times the recoil as the 300 megawatt laser and therefore would be hundreds of thousands of times more powerful. This would be in the scale of gigawatts to terawatts of power. For each cannon blast.. multiply this by the cannon blasts per battle times the battles fought and you have the energy expenditure of just the cannons alone. this is just for the cannons. every robot also has a gun which outputs only a few orders of magnitude less energy and I believe this is where most of the energy expenditure would go. Semen is so energy afficient that it can easily provide enough energy for every battle that skynut fought (they took out humanity). Semen would have had to supply not terawatts, not petawatts, but hundreds exawatts of power. If instead of using semen, skynut used nuclear energy, they would need hundreds of billions of nuclear reactors to make that much energy. Alternatively if they went the route of solar, they would need to cover all of earths landmass with solar panels over 900,000,000 times over to get that much energy. If you were to turn this energy directly into mass it would be at LEAST 14,1 00,000 pounds of material. My theory, semen can be transferred directly into energy via e=mc^2.

Now for the takeaway; Kids, if you ever want to take over earth, you need at least 44,100,000 pounds of semen to do it.

edit: I re-watched the video and got a better
sense of scale of the machines and I defiantly underestimated the energy consumption by a long shot. I would guess that the actual energy consumption is at least 2 orders of magnitude higher than my original estimations. I went back and edited in the new estimations and numbers Also in case you wanted to know, it would take about 5,400,000,000 ejaculations to produce the amount of semen required for this world domination. feel free to add on or tell me where I went wrong, this was mostly back of the napkin math and estimating so there is bound to be some error. Id guess I'm pretty close to the lower end of the estimation

footnote: there is a lot of estimation going on here and this is all speculation as to the size and recoil of these weapons so I just want to say that I could be off by an order of magnitude or more.

Hi, decent guy with long history of treating women like fully autonomous human beings worthy of dignity and respect. (Can provide references) I do not mind at all when you say men suck. I know who you’re talking about. I have very few close male friends because guys are tiresome. When I was younger and in sports and the coach was chewing out the entire team he would say, “…and I’d you know you do/don’t do this then I’m not talking to you, but there’s always something to be learned from someone else’s mistake.” This is how I hear it when the women here complain about the awful state of men (in America specifically). I don’t take offense and try to learn wherever I can so that I make sure I’m not making these mistakes with my partner whom I love dearly. For example, we are in our mid 30s and accidentally got pregnant last year before r v w, got it taken care of and I got a vasectomy so as to not endanger my partner again. Guys take note of this part, I’ve never had so much amazing sex in my life.

I was always the group pervert in school. You know

that one creepy guy.

I mean I like porn, but I'm not really a fan of hentai. I don't really like Chinese cartoon porn. But my discord pfp is hentai, and my discord name is a hentai reference. I also say that I jerk off for 4+ hours when I actually jerk of for around 1.5 hours(recently cut it down to 30 mins). I like being a creepy degenerate. Most the hentai I send them, are just fanservice shots from anime I watch. I jerk off to fanservice shots.

With my first friend I don't act that creepy to him. I mainly talk about Japanese and Thai girls in math class. I also talk about prostitutes, and getting laid in university. I mean I think that Japanese and Thai girls are teh best waifus. Since he helps me in math, i refrain from being creepy near him. I send him porn, hentai and copypastas

With my second friend, He texts random girls on snapchat, so I ask him if he texts any asian girls, and beg him for pics of the girls he texts so i can jerk off to them. I also make sex jokes about him and any girl he talks to. I also send him hentai, porn and sexually explicit copypasta on discord. He doesn't like asian girls. He thinks they're dumb

With my third friend, I don't message him on discord much, but he's chinese. I say that Chinese, Koreans and Japanese girls are the same thing, and make world war 2 Japanese girl domination jokes in class. I also talk about anime girl breeding stations, and trading all 18 year old white girls for 18 year old Asian girls, since Asian girls look better. And having Australia as a nation full of white/Asian girl hybrids, since they look hot.

No I don't feel guilty. I will no longer talk to friend 2 and 3 after HS, but will keep in contact with 1 since we are doing same degree at same uni.

The repugnant album cover tells you all you need to know about its contents.

A mob of jeering, half-naked savages, clutching cash and waving alcohol, violently occupying the lawn of the White House, stomping on the personification of law and order in an aggressive act of defiance against civilization.

In a word, the cover captures the essence of niggers.

And that's what the album is about too - being a nigger. Desecrating order and beauty. Inciting and glorifying violence. Obsessing over sexuality and reproductive organs. Gleefully tearing down all tenets of civilization, then blaming the white man for the black community's desolation and nihilism. Wallowing in victimization.

Such an album cover should provoke a visceral reaction of disgust in anyone that doesn't want to go back to the stone age.

Consider how utterly unacceptable it would be for a white musician to feature a gang of white men gleefully killing a black man as their album cover.

It would incite an uproar.

The reverse barely registers, so ubiquitous and accepted is black violence.

White fans of this are clueless. A white boy having this in his record collection is like a Jew putting a Nazi flag up in their room. It is an incitement to violence. It is stochastic terrorism.

Kendrick would slit your throat if he had the chance, and drink the blood like a tribal warlord.

To Pimp A Butterfly isn't the music of an oppressed artist-poet speaking out against the powers-that-be to liberate his community; it's the sound of a resentful, sulking, rage-filled nigger who fantasizes daily about spilling the blood of his white neighbors.

It's the sound of someone who smiles when he reads the headline that another white woman was raped and killed by his brothas.

It's the sound of someone who would spit in the drink of the white customers he was serving.

It's the sound of someone who shouldn't be allowed access to firearms.

It's the sound of someone who needs therapy.

As far as we know the PAW Patrol has the capabilities of international travel and possible covert operation capabilities. However, the PAW Patrol failed to assist in any way during the Iran Hostage Crisis of 1979, which is unacceptable seeing as the US diplomats were hostages from November 4, 1979, to January 20, 1981. Could it be that the PAW Patrol is run by Islamic extremist that utilize PAW Patrol to increase positive images of the extremist, while also taking money from the UN? Or that the PAW Patrol is US run, and was told by the CIA to not intervene with the hostage crisis? If it is the former, why so? Could the Iran Hostage Crisis be a hoax, used to crack down on Iran for bringing down the monarchy that was ruling Iran, made possible by a coup from the US and UK?

This game is making me go ballistic. I was at a bar with my friends last weekend when my friend mentioned how many trophies he was at. I played it cool and lied about how many I was at but he had passed me on trophy road and I had to play so i went to the bathroom and of course my first game I match against hog and my phone dies half way through. I was so mad and had to play so I walked to a gas station and bought a charger but had no where to plug it in and was bored of the bar and in a rage I just didn’t care anymore and unplugged the cooler with all the ice cream in it and sat on the floor waiting for it to charge and started playing. I couldn’t win because I kept playing firecracker and hog and skarol and by the time the employee caught on the dipping dots and multiple other ice cream items were melted and deformed inside the package. I told him I didn’t care and in comes a cop who proceeded to arrest me confiscate my fake id and put me on a 6 hour hold in a cell. This is the worst game ever and on the way there all I could think about was getting emoted on when I lost to lavahound I didn’t even care I was arrested this is the biggest rage game I’ve ever played. How am I supposed to win when I’m getting hard countered in every match?

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.

Once again Stuart Little has managed to evade law enforcements by bribing the judge and threatening to kill his children. He’s friends with the head of police and has, on several occasions, committed tax fraud, sexual harassment, and invasion of personal property. He sold drugs not only to adults in desperate need of therapy, but also to teenagers and disabled children. This fucking rat picked mostly black neighborhoods on purpose not only to feed the stereotype but also to, as he said: "Erradicate the fucking blacks." Amidst unsocial behavior, dishonesty, racism, criminality and a personality that would only fit the devil himself, this piece of shit hypocrite rat is also the head of the Ku-Klux-Klan, the official American Nazi Party, and he controls several brutal prison gangs that have together taken the lives of several hundreds of unsuspecting and innocent humans. It’s not only that he lets people kill for him, it’s also that he has gotten his little rodent piece of shit claws dirty himself. He shot a black man that was trying to protect his family from the racial slurs he threw at them, he lured a mother of two into a forest and brutally murdered her after raping her in the most degrading way possible. He cut her open and dug into her flesh while screaming: "This stupid cunt isn’t going to reject me another time." As wanderers reported. Not only that but they could also hear him say, "Her pussy could be my new rat hole." While laughing vigorously. And as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, this embodiment of all evil also drowned a child in a well since he, “couldn’t listen to his fucking high pitched voice any longer so I made him meet his fate.” I just can’t see how all of this is still overlooked and glossed over by the government and how this piece of shit is still allowed to walk as if he had never done anything to anyone. I’m literally shaking with anger and I’m about to collapse when I think of all of the things this white piece of shit has done. I want to drown him in a bucket full of my own cum while pulling out each and every single one of his rat fucking hair. I want to crush his little bones and smash every one of his little teeth one by one. I won’t be able to contain my anger if I ever see him just one more fucking time. I will run him over and take a shit on his corpse. I’ll gouge his eyes out and piss in the sockets. I will perform CPR on him so he stays alive for a little while longer to experience even more pain than his tiny little rat ass has caused. Just his smile on TV is enough to make my blood boil and make me phantasize about cutting him in a thousand tiny pieces that I will scatter across the graves of his loved ones. I will cut off his ears just as he did it to that nice old lady across the street because as he said and I quote, “This walking skeleton shouldn’t be able to hear my exclusive voice, it’s a waste of my energy and she sould just die so I can distribute more of my offspring across the world.”

JUST PRODUCE MORE CHILDREN YOU PIECE OF SHIT RAT I WILL FIND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AND STRANGLE THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH TO THIS WORLD I JUST WANT YOU AND EVERYONE THAT IS JUST RELATED TO YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST DEAD THE ONLY WASTE OF ENERGY IN THIS WORLD IS YOUR MISERABLE LIFE I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL END THE SORRY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL YOUR LIFE. SMILE IN MY FACE ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK INFRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN JUST LIKE YOU DID IT WITH MY ONLY SON THAT ME AND MY WIFE TRIED TO CONCEIVE FOR SEVERAL YEARS JUST BECAUSE I’M ALMOST IMPOTENT IT WAS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE AND WE WERE VERY LUCKY THAT IT EVEN WORKED BUT YOU WASTE OF FUCKING MATTER ENDED HIS LIFE AND TOLD ME THAT IT WAS ONLY AN ACCIDENT YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND I WILL END YOURS NO ONE CAN HELP YOU ANYMORE YOUR DAYS ARE OVER FUCK YOU STUART LITTLE I WILL BE VISITING YOUR GRAVE EVERY DAY SO I CAN SPIT ON IT AND POUR MY DOGS VOMIT OVER THE FLOWERS YOUR FAMILY PLACED IM GOING TO MAKE THEIR LIVES HELL AFTER YOUR DEATH WITH EVERY LITTLE DETAIL I CAN RUIN ABOUT THEIR DAYS. I WILL PISS IN THE APPLE JUICE I WILL THROW MY LITTER IN YOUR YARD IM GONNA POP YOUR TIRES AND THROW DOG SHIT AT YOUR FRONT DOOR YOU’LL BE SORRY FOR EVERYTHING YOU EVER DID TO ANYONE IM GONNA MAKE YOU REGRET EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY THAT ONE TIME WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO THROW A ROCK AT MY WIFE WHO BECAME PERMANENTLY BRAIN DAMAGED BECAUSE OF IT I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU COULD BE WORSE OF A FUCKING HUMAN BUT WAIT YOU’RE NOT YOU’RE JUST A FUCKING MOUSE IN HUMAN CLOTHING I BET YOU NEED TO GET SPECIALLY FITTED CLOTHES BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A TINY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT YOUR DICK ISN’T EVEN 3CM AT LEAST MAKE AN EXCUSE FOR IT IT’S NOT POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO BE SUCH A PILE OF TRASH YOU MUST HAVE MENTAL ISSUES I HOPE YOU DIE GRUESOME DEATH I HOPE YOU GET RUN OVER BY YOUR OWN FAMILY PLEASE JUST END YOURSELF I JUST DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO DO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY IS HEALLOWED TO LIVE ANYONE PLEASE DO SOMETHING MY LIFE IS OVER I’M CRYING AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS RAT BASTARD IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE I REALLY NEED HELP HIS FUCKING HANDS ARE SO TINY HOW IS HE EVEN ABLE TO DRIVE A CAR. NOT ONLY ABLE BUT HOW IS HE ALLOWED TO EVEN DRIVE HE’S A FUCKING RAT WHY DOESN’T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HE RAN OVER MY MOTHER HE IS JUST SO SMALL I DON’T GET IT IF ANYONE READS THIS PLEASE HELP ME THIS MOUSE HAS TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME. I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT IF HE ISN’T GOING I WILL GO I JUST NEED TO SEE HIM DIE IT’S MY LAST WISH TELL EVERYONE RELATED WITH ME THAT HE IS AT FAULT THERE IS NOTHING I COULD DO THE GOVERNMENT IS SUPPORTING HIM THERES THREE MOVIES ABOUT HIS LIFE AND HOW HE HAS RUINED THAT OF OTHERS WHY ISN’T ANYONE DOING SOMETHING PLEASE HUMANS WAKE UP IT’S OUR LAST CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING AGAINST STUART LITTLE PLEASE I’M DESPERATE PLEASE.

we are not born to die!! what are you talking about!! do you think a book begins just to finish? do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? you don’t read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes!! to learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken!! you listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw!!! to cry and smile and swell with the harmonies!! yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play!! the final act, the closing of the curtains - we are not born to take a bow and exit stage left!! we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feelfeelfeel!!!  we are not born to die, silly, we’re born to live!!!

\*\*Marines Swofford and Fergus reassembling their guns\*\*

​

Swofford: Done.

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Fergus: Done.

​

Swofford: Again.

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\*\*Both marines disassemble their rifles\*\*

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Swofford: Again.

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\*\*Both marines reassemble their rifles\*\*

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Swofford: Done.

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Fergus: Done.

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\*\*Swofford places his rifle in his left hand\*\*

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Swofford: (says while facing Fergus) How many is that, Cortez?

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Cortez: 26 in a row.

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Swofford: (says to Fergus) What would you say if I told you I was gonna kill you for fucking me over like that?

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Fergus: I already told you, it was an accident.

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Swofford: An accident... right. Like when this trigger slips.

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\*\*Fergus looks to his left for a brief moment\*\*

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Swofford: 'Course your nice little Mom and Dad are where?

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Swofford and Fergus: Cottonwood Falls.

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Swofford: That'd be sad, they wouldn't have a little boy to be sending fucking cookies to. I'll say it was an Accidental Discharge. I might even spend some time in the Brig, but I'll end this fucking waiting.

​

\*\*Swofford picks up a magazine\*\*

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Swofford: And I'll know what it's like to kill a man.

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\*\*Swofford puts the magazine in his rifle and cocking it, before pointing the rifle at Fergus\*\*

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Fergus: What are you doing?

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Swofford: I'm in the firing position, known as the sitting position. After the prone position, it's the platform most likely to enable a marine to kill his target. His target being a human, generally an enemy but sometimes a friend or friendly. We call this friendly fire or friendly fucking, or getting friendly fucked.

​

Fergus: Come on Swoff, it was your watch. It was Christmas Eve and I was just sitting there, thinking about home, that's it.

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Swofford: What do you think, Cortez? Do you think I'll accidentally kill your homeboy from boot camp?

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Cortez: Sure, you'll kill him, accidents happen.

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Swofford: You don't see shit, right?

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Cortez: I don't see shit. This ain't even my tent. A matter of fact, I ain't even here, Swoff. (Cortez walks out of the tent, as

Swofford stands up still pointing the rifle at Fergus)

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Swofford: (very quietly) Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.

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Fergus: (very shaky and quiet voice) What're you doing, man..?

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Swofford: The M16A2 service rifle is a lightweight, air cooled, gas operated, magazine fed shoulder weapon. It fire's a 5.56mm ball projectile, muzzle velocity 2800 feet per second. This is my rifle. Repeat after me. Repeat after me.

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\*\*Fergus struggling to say it\*\*

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Swofford: Repeat after me!

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Fergus: This is- this is my rifle...

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Swofford: There you go... that's right..

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\*\*Fergus crying\*\*

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Swofford: Say the fucking words!

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Fergus and Swofford: There are many like it...

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Fergus: ...but this one is mine.

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Swofford: Without my rifle, I am nothing, say it you fucking idiot!

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Fergus: Nooo...

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Swofford: This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine!

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\*\*Fergus in hysterics\*\*

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Fergus: W-without my rifle, I am nothing.

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Swofford: This is my-

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\*\*Fergus interrupts him by crying\*\*

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Swofford: Shhh-ut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!

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Fergus: I can't! I can-

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Swofford: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND REPEAT AFTER ME!

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Fergus: Without me I am...

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Swofford: THIS IS MY RIFLE. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT. WITHOUT ME MY RIFLE IS NOTHING. FUCKING SAY IT! REPEAT AFTER ME! REPEAT AFTER ME!! WITHOUT MY RIFLE I AM NOTHING.

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Fergus: I am nothing! I am nothing!

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Swofford: (raises his finger up to his lips) Shh shh, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Get up.

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\*\*Swofford forces Fergus to stand up by grabbing his shirt, and makes Fergus point the end of the rifle in his mouth\*\*

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Swofford: Fucking shoot me! SHOOT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE!!

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Fergus: I don't want to!

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Swofford: DO YOU FUCKING SEE HOW HARD IT IS!? YOU SHOOT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE, YOU FUCKING F\*GGOT!!

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Fergus (in full blown hysterics): I DON'T WANT TO!

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Swofford: FRIENDLY FUCKING FIRE!!! SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING PUSSY!!!

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Fergus: NO!

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\*\*Swofford slams the rifle into the ground while it is still in Fergus' hand\*\*

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Swofford: Fuck! Fuck...

​

(Video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L6OyGyvUtU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L6OyGyvUtU))

My gf needs background music whenever we have sex. One song specifically. How to Disappear Completely by Radiohead. It needs to play in the background every time my gf and I sleep together. Literally, every time. So once upon a time my gf masturbated in her room and How to Disappear Completely happened to be playing in the background when she came. Since then, it's become part of the routine when she does anything sexual. That was the story she told me at the beginning of our relationship. At first I was okay with it. But now I can't stand it (nothing against Radiohead). What made it even worse was a few nights ago my gf and I got into an intense argument about something unrelated and out of anger or whatever she decided to tell me the true story. Her ex bf was the one who played Radiohead when he took her virginity, which was like 2 years ago, and that is actually what's been helping cum this entire time. The song was a fucking trigger.

I've not said a word to her since. Is it even possible for someone to cum from a 2 year old memory of their first love? Or do I have every reason to feel like I meant nothing to her sexually?

I absolutely fucking hate tiktok so fucking much. I absolutely fucking despise the god damn fucking low attention spanned ass retarded ass users who can barely look at a fucking book before having a fake panic attack because of boredom. like how the fuck did you even manage to get here? how are you so fucking retarded? we went from being actually normal humans to dumb-fuck retarded ass results of monkeys having gay sex with a fucking goldfish and creating an insufferably-brain damaged inbred fucktard who can barely read a fucking book without exploding of boredom. you must get your 6 hour intake of retarded brain destroying videos with retarded music that sounds like the result of making a retarded brain-fucked chipmunk have incest sex with an inbred toddler from alabama who barely even survived birth because of how fucking every fucking essential function of its body was fucked up more than Venezuela's economy on fucking drugs. It's literally draining the human species out of every last drop of intelligence, and it's depressing to watch. everything is about FUCKING TIKTOK! "hey did you hear this cool new song?" "is it on tiktok?" "no but it's go-" "i aint listen to allat get outta here ohio ahh man" like how are you this fucking retarded? what the fuck is this? how the fuck are we still alive? you know how everyone talks about what they want to do if time travel was a thing? go back and kill adolf hitler, do something? well FUCK ALL THAT! I vow to fucking god on the fucking bible that if humans EVER get ahold of time travel, I PLEAD TO FUCKING GOD that I will travel back in time before tiktok existed and do EVERYTHING IN MY FUCKING POWER to make sure that FUCKING BRAIN-ROTTING DUMPSTER-FIRE INBRED CHIPMUNK COCK SUCKING RETARDED PILE OF FUCKING COW SHIT MIXED WITH FERMENTED PIG PISS THAT WE CALL TIKTOK IS COMPLETELY BANISHED FROM THE FUCKING FACE OF THE UNIVERSE AND NEVER HAS THE CHANCE TO EVER SEE THE LIGHT OF ANYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE EVER. I WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES, EVEN IF I HAVE TO SACRIFICE A COUPLE PEOPLE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN I fucking bet you if I did this right now and then returned to the current moment, humanity would be significantly more advanced then we are now with tiktok unfortunately breathing in this universe. I cannot begin to imagine the endless list of only good things that would come out of tiktok never being allowed to have any chance to ever take one breath into the universe. I eagerly wait for the day when that platform rots out of existence.

Umm... so, personally... this is the first time this has happened, so I'm a bit surprised. Only a centimeter away... I mean, I don't think there's ever been someone who's gotten that close to me... without a, you know... calamity occurring. I'm not really... not really sure what happens at one centimeter away... 'cause it's my first time. I don't really understand it either. Seriously. But in the flow of calamity... there's nobody who can attack me. Not a single person. That, I know for sure. Wonder of U.

Timmy the redditor, master of woodcutting and supreme slayer master. Nobody can dare match his skill in the medival clicking simulator called RuneScape. Never missing an xp, never missing a tick, not even his bodily functions can tame his sincere desire to gain xp.

But whats this? A cowardly gang of thieves, hell bent on ruining Timothies Efficient Experience per hour has shown their dastardly faces. One by one, they take their turns with timmy - his squeals and crys howl through all of glienor.

In a desperate attempt to communicate with his attackers, he lets out a plea to reasoning: "Why?" he says aloud. "I have nothing on me lol". Timmy adjusts his glasses and thinks to himself, "Surely these young men must know that violating me gains them poor experience per hour and doing so leaves them at a net loss of gold pieces."

To Timmy's dismay, the attack continues. Panic starts to set in and Timmy shifts uncomfortably in his soiled trousers. Gasping for air at the thought of his RuneScape avatar being defiled by these villians, he makes another desperate attempt at appealing to reason, "This is why I vote no to PvP updates! The wilderness is dieing because of you guys!" Timmy sneers and thinks, "Heh, now they have to stop disrupting my efficient experience gains or else they will never get an update to player versus player!"

But the onslaught does not end, ripping and ravaging Timmy until he is down to his very last lobster. Then Timmy sees HungryJose227 running at him, a warrior clad in full snakeskin armor, wielding only a sharp knife. Timmy tries to get away but is frozen in fear at the sight of fearsome pk man. Finally, HungryJose227 lustfully descends upon Timmy, inserting his dragon dagger. Hopelessness sets in for Timmy, he knows he will never gain back the 15 seconds of experience and his precious clue scroll. As conciousness fades, he reminicses on the safety and warmth of his beloved slayer cave,"I never should have came here! I want to go back to the slayer cave where it's safe, my items won't be stolen in there and I won't be violated by Jose's Draggon Dagger! Mother Nieve is waiting for me back at home in the slayer cave, how can I return to her like this? I hate the wilderness and I hate pk man!"

Just as Hungry Jose Finishes unloading his special attack onto desecrated Timmy, he kneels down and whispers into Timmies ear, "Siéntate niño".

I'm fucking done with this sub, i can't scroll through my home page because i see borderline gay pornography from this sub with titles like "omg guys this is so funny!!!" and 90% of comments saying "tick tock". This shit turned from better r/tf2 to just censored pornography posted by children who think are funny. Downvote me, insult me, i don't care. If you want to see gay porn go to a porn website and don't put unfunny shit on the sub.I'm leaving because there's nothing funny left on this subreddit, fuck you.