Happy Birthday Billie!! 💖 💖 How old are you now? 🤔🤔 Wait... You just turned 18??? 😳😳😳😳 Oh my god... Oh fuck.... 😳😳😳 Billie.... Shit.... 😳😳😳😳😳 OHHHHHHHHH SHITTT 🍆🍆💦💦💦💦💦💦 Fuck I'm so sorry 😨😨😨😨 Billie I didn't mean to cum I swear!! 😨😨 Please forgive me and forget about this... 🥺🥺 Unless...? 😏😏 Okay, confession time❗❗❗❗ Billie ever since you started music 🎵🎵 I've loved ❤️❤️ you and your music 😳😳 and I've done some naughty things 🍆💦🍆💦 looking at your pictures... 🔞🔞 Now that you're all grown up 👩👩 do you love ❤️ me too? 😳😳 Please Billie I've always wanted to do things to you 👅👅👅👅 and now you're finally 18 😩😩 we can have legal Sex 🍆🍆🍑🍑 Please Billie respond to this message quickly 🏃🏃 and say yes❗❗ ✅✅😊😊 I'll be waiting... 😩🍆💦💦🍑🍑😳😳

\[ removed by reddit on account of violating the [content policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). \]

Title explains it. They were having rough sex drunk. Then when he cums, he blows a part of his load in her ear. Big screams, took 30 minutes to get it out. Then I see her storming out with a suitcase.

I love Iron. I know it’s a bit basic, but it has so much potential!

Btw, if any of you mf’s picked “gold”, I swear to god I will come to your house, and you know what I’ll do? I’ll challenge you to a sword fight. What are you gonna do, pick up your gold little piss sword, you little gross little boy? Good luck with that, because that shit will bend so easily against my nice, strong iron sword. What can you even do with gold you fucking piss metal worshipping bitch? Make a ring out of it? Oh yeah, that’ll save you. No, you won’t be able to do anything as i shove my long iron sword up your gold loving little ass. Get real, because that garbage metal has nothing. It’s weak, it looks like piss, and it doesn’t react with any other chemicals to make something less useless out of it. Literally pick any other element, and I can guarantee you, it would have been a better pick than gold, but no, it has to be the piss metal, you fucking bitch.

I am a concerned father with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?

I take AP geometry second period even though I nearly flunked last year. I'm currently a sophomore in high school.... nobody knows about this, except for my best friend Anuar. He sits next to me and every time I get the wrong answer, I feel a rush of lust course through my body. Anuar first noticed it when I got the answer wrong on fifth day of class. I still remember it like it was yesterday.....

Summer break is just around the corner and still have this feeling for my teacher. Anuar says that I should try and talk to him, but I can't muster the courage. The way he scolds & humiliates me in front of the whole class is exhilarating. There's something, so weird yet so good about having someone punish you for your mistakes.

I guess you could say I've been a "goodie-two-shoes" my whole life.... so something about this change of pace effects me. I haven't told my family about this, nor do I plan on it. My family has talked about hiring a tutor for me, after seeing my performance decline. Secretly, I know how to do all the problems, and that's why I'm barely passing.

Next year, I will be a junior and most likely have a new teacher for math, and I'm not sure how I'll adapt to this. In hopes of preparing myself for this, I've enrolled myself in summer school to test the waters.

Anyone have advice that's had a similar problem?

Like legit, yall only do the most boring vanilla stuff possible. There's no neaunce or interest in anything the straights do.

Ofc I respect the straights but I don't support them, they're too boring and predictable

Edit: Already people have neglected the "meme" tag

America The Great. America The Beautiful.

A country we invented for free men. All the species we defeated in mortal Kombat, and people we sneezed on, their unintelligible shrieks haunt the skies to this day, and imbue the vital fluids of every citizen with a sense of courage and bravery.

From the misty shores of the pacific northwest, 'cross the ice cold Rockies, down the proud Mississippi river, where our ancestors panned for gold. I love this country, and I love the quiet air on a cold Nevada night, running through my hair while I'm riding my chopper. Fueled by a wing and a prayer.

And now sonny, as much as I like headin' down the primrose path and restin' on my laurels, we got work to do. I know you're a real go-getter, multitasker, soaking up a podcast while you soak up a nutritious fuel shake. But dude, we got a message to get across, and America? Like any pretty lady, AIN'T gonna wait.

So I know you may not be a "Real Indian", but by golly, you're gonna listen to this man right now.

ACTION.


\- The Irish Candy Man

I have watched so much furry porn, that I have become naturally desensitized to it. I even watch it in public. If I don't get my daily furry porn dose, I go through a withdrawal. It's like a drug to me. Every time I see a protogen, I can't itch away the urge to cum inside in it. I just wish they were real. I'd give up my family and money just to fuck a furry once. All my friends laugh and think I'm weird, and to an extent, I do agree, but damn, if only they knew how badly I wanted to fuck one. I swear, if science advances enough, I hope we can make furry real. Think I'm a degenerate or not, I would sacrifice my soul for one bust in one. I'm not even a furry, but there is no doubt in my mind that I would not miss an opportunity to fuck the brains out of a furry. I'd yank its tail back on my cock like the nasty little slut it is, while I fill it like a cream-filled donut. I'd pound it so hard, it'd be seeing stars. God knows the things I'd do. My brain is filled with pure lust every time I see a furry or anyone with a furry profile pic. I just wish I could pull them out of my screen and go mayhem. I'd fuck them so much, I'd drain my balls before I'm even getting started with them. Imagine how good the head is too, like bro, the way a furry's mouth is shaped would be perfect for the sloppiest head known to man, and imagine how tight their holes would be, especially the male ones. If I get the opportunity, you know I am NOT passing it up.

Why in the absolute hell has there have to be someone who posted my exact comment before me every goddamn time I think I have something cool to comment.

Why is Reddit such a freaking hive mind. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US.

Yesterday I successfully stole a low 2 figure play from the only other competent My Little Pony resale hustler at one of my local Walmarts. The greedy or poor idiot reserved a Twilight Sparkle doll on a 3h lay away with that much time to pay, and was camping waiting for the pony doll to be delivered. I noted the time when he reserved the doll and was able to calculate the reservation expiration within 45 min of it happening. So I sneaked around the Walmart doll area and setup camp 30ft afar without him seeing me. I had my Walmart pony rewards card and tito in hand staring at the reservation message at the shelf where the pony’s where going to be delivered. Low and behold within 5 minutes the pony reservation expired so I dashed and grabbed the new delivery of Twilight sparkle my Little Pony Doll. 3 seconds later the dude literally lunged over me and took the 26 dollar Pony Doll, so I yelled to give me back my Pony! Sparkles Will Always Be in My Heart! At that point a Walmart attendant came and called security, refused to take sides. 2 minutes after a mob of security guards, Walmart attendants and suits came over, it was a big commotion! This guy played the broken english card refusing to answer any incrimination question from the suits, I was also saying how I just took the Pony Doll when there was no reservation. Eventually the suits told me to shut up, they confirmed in the system my takeover was legit and escorted the guy out. Then I took the play home within 1 hour. Angr Nukes 1, shorty disheveled asian dude 0.

I came home from vacations and met up with my cousins and his friend to go to the club and get drunk. When we were done, everyone went home and one of my cousin (that I haven’t seen in years bc he lived in another country) said I should stay at his place, I really didn’t think any much of it so I went, we started listening to more music and drink more. I felt sleepy and laid on bed, one thing led to the other and we started making out and ended up having sex, not going to lie I actually enjoyed it. It was so weird, the next day, we really didn’t say much. I honestly don’t have much words for this, we’re trying to keep it cool but it just gets super weird.

Tool songs be like: “UGH UGH HOOKER WITH A PENIS UGH UGH HOOKER WITH A PENIS TAKE A DUMP ON MY FACE UGH HUH RAPED BY A CATHOLIC PRIEST BRO HUH UGH”
Tool fans be like: “That was so deep it really opened my third eye Namaste 🙏🕉”

im being dead serious when i say that you need to learn that my life doesn't revolve around your schedule. I was in a car all day, and things happen that make that take longer. Spamming will not change that. All that does is piss me off. In fact you've been a huge asshole recently but thats for so many other reasons. please, for once, just shut up.

> comparing a north east asian girl to a black girl is like comparing gold to shit - one is unequivocally better than the other. black girls are untamed beasts, north east asian girls are cherubic divine beings. africa's average iq is 80\~, meanwhile north east asia is 100\~. let's not mention the fact that the pussies of black women have many similarities to a horse's pussy.

So recently my roommate left after he got into a fight with us. I didn’t care cause we all hated him anyways, but after he left I found at least 30 bottles of piss, if not more, inside his cabinet.

I don’t want to open them and dump them out because that would be really fucking nasty. If I just put them all in a trash bag or a box and tape it shut would it be illegal to throw away?

I’m not sure if it’s considered hazardous waste or someshit or if it’s illegal to throw away bottles of liquid and I really can’t afford to be getting in trouble with the law right now.

How should I dispose of these cause I really don’t want to have to open them.

So yesterday, being horny & desperate, I decided it was a brilliant idea to get sucked off by the vacuum.

Attempt 1: I grabbed my vacuum cleaner & pulled down my pants... & realized the vacuum cleaner's pipe was too narrow.

Attempt 2: I wasn't defeated so easily. I knew I had to widen the diameter of the vacuum cleaner. So I grabbed an old coke can - cut off the end without an opening & attached it to the vacuum. The suction would conveniently hold it in place. There was only one problem, aluminium is sharp as f***.

Attempt 3: Making aluminium less sharp is not an easy task. I tried wrapping it in a plastic bag, but bits of aluminium would still poke through eventually. I finally decided to cut a sock in half & form one of the holes around the can - while the rest of the sock went into the can... Seemed to work.

Result: While it did work as intended, the loud noises & the aluminium can crumbling around my c*** was enough to not get me satisfied. I was at it for a good 30 minutes I imagine, before I gave up - I didn't want to disturb my neighbors too much.

Rating: I would rate the vacuum a 3/10, it's too loud & the suction isn't *that* great when you attach a coke can with a stuffed sock inside. I did try various suction strengths, including the strongest setting - there wasn't too much of a change in my experience, but it got pretty loud on the higher settings

As an italian i Hope the guy that cooked those abominations Will die choking on a monkey's cock. I Hope he gets deprived of every last fiber of dignity and lives in shame as people laugh of him and make him eat the same thing She cooked but covered with his own shit and piss. I Hope that the same thing that happened to the guy of "1 man,1 jar" happens to him and he bleeds out as shards of glass year holes inside his anus and let Rivers of Blood flow out of It. I Hope his family Friends and everyone Who knows him commits suicide for seeing what he cooked and what he made out of his shitty, ashaming, Little fucking Life.



Salutations from italia.

There seems to be a double standard about what art is appropriate here. Not too long there was art for a Ralsei body pillow posted here. A lot of people made gross comments about it despite the art being SFW. It seems like people viewed it as lewd because it was a body pillow cover. So what? Body pillows are NOT inherently sexual. It was tame. The character was fully clothed. There's art of Susie with big breasts posted here. There been pics of Ralsei making out with Susie or Kris. There was art of a shirtless Ralsei lifting weights. There was even art of Susie showing her cleavage to Ralsei, with his tail wagging in excitement. There nothing wrong with those fanart but it's strange a pillow cover is considered lewd. People were okay with that art (minus the people that dislike those ships), but people freak out over body pillow that was tame?! It wasn't lewd. You guys made something innocent and deemed it perverse. That says a lot more about those judgmental jerks than the artist. I was interested in it but the post seem to be gone. I don't know the artist and have no way to contact them. Thanks a lot! You treated an artist like crap and deemed their cute, wholesome art as gross because you couldn't get your mind out of the gutter!

**"Minecraft Java now filters profanity on Java Realms. This feature is on by default. You can change this setting on the 'My Account' page after logging into minecraft.net"**

Lmao what? Are you kidding me? What do these democrat snowflakes think they're doing by removing cuss word? Lol fuck shit! They really shitting fucking think they can ban our constitutional right of free speech? Holy shit! Those stupid ass snowflakes really need to cope! Profanity is PROfanity! Only those who are stupid noob fuckers think that we should ban profanity!!! what, do they now think that they can make noobfanity?? lol! but those democrats support joe biden and ltgbq- soooooooooooooooo theyre just mad leftists! lmao! trump2024 we will put minecraft back on its profanity track! i can not believe this. minecraft is not for kiddies anymore its for big amazing 2 year olds like me! I cant believe that the agenda of the left is taking over minecraft now! lol laughing my fucking stupid ass fucking ass over fuck ass of!!! the left is communist and now the commiesists are beating nothc?

we need to teach them a big lesson by beating their children and burning mojang developers at the stake!! next we need to shoot their wives and enslave their pets and then eat them! lol hero brian will help us!!! notch is evil!