BRASIL NÚMERO UM PENTA-CAMPEÃO MUNDIAL☝️☝️🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷😎😎OUVIRAM👂DO IPIRANGA🏞️AS MARGENS PLÁCIDAS🌟DE UM POVO👥HERÓICO🎖️O BRADO RETUMBANTE, E O SOL ☀️DA LIBERDADE☝️EM RAIOS FÚLGIDOS⚡BRILHOU NO CÉU🌌DA PÁTRIA NESSE INSTANTE🕑

Actually Mongolia fought in the Great Melon Wars of 1649 with Thailand and Zimbabwe.

It was the beginning of the Mango Revolution and helped fuel agricultural innovation for centuries. Guerrila watermelon soldiers we’re irrigating the countryside and rogue planting orchards while single handedly merc’ing European fascists with muskets and sling shots. It’s basically why the Geneva Convention even exists. Citrus juices led to the discovery of Citric Acid which was used in the first evidence of biological warfare.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

My son, who is 5 years old, so smart, we were in a public train, this crazy person was asking questions to everyone in the train, he comes up to me and my son and asks, how long ago did the dinosuars live, I was about to answer, but my son cuts me off and says "66million years ago, then proceeds to list every species of dinosuars that he knows, without stuttering or misprenouncing the names, everyone in the train stood up and clapped, some old lady even gave me $50 for teaching my son this(i did not, he just knows) im so proud of him

I understand that some may consider it disturbing, but I would consider it a compliment to find out people were masturbating while thinking of me. What is your opinion?!

P.s. I have never, nor would I ever tell any person about me masturbating to them!

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It’s been a year daddy 🥺 I really really miss you 😥 Mommy says you went to the store to get milk 🥛 Anyways, I’m failing all my classes 🙁 And mommy hits me very frequently 🤣 And she changed my name to “Tickle-Timpson” 😍 Anyways daddy, I forgive you for abusing me 🤪

(can people please both take this topic seriously, and also be civil. I already posted this, and got nothing but crap for it, so be nice. Like for real? Grow up, you lot) Can we please STOP judging people by their "inner beauty" (a concept that basically doesn't exist, at least not in the way it's typically referred to as) and start actually judging people by their looks? As a cacophobe, I have really bad insomnia. It's mostly caused by my brain being constantly occupied by an axiety and disgust towards ugly looking people (this isn't a joke; cacophobia, the fear/disgust of ugly people. can get pretty severe). I think of them a lot, and it it crawls into my head, so I end up sitting awake at night terrified. It a problem that plagues my dreams, too, so that doesn't help with my desire to get to sleep. I really just wanna punch ugly people in the face sometimes, and this is one of the reasons I avoid them as much as I can in my daily routine. I cannot stand them, and they literally are giving me mental issues from how vile they look.

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Ugly people generally hold no value and are manipulative people, almost all the time. It's perfectly okay to judge by the cover when the cover looks like garbage.

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Please understand that its normal & okay to judge people by their appearance. Good looks = good person who has value and worth, bad looks = bad person, who is vile, abusive, and useless. No one who does not have good looks is of value as a human being. Judging people by their covers is entirely okay to do when the cover looks like garbage. Ugly people are all vile, disgusting trash, and most of them are abusive people, and honestly, there needs to be more of a concerted societal effort to push back against them. I'm sick of people using "its not their fault" as an excuse, as well. Like, who cares at all about culpability, when we're talking about something that is literally proven via clinical studies to be a burden on the human race? All ugly looking people are trash, and they'll remain that way. There is absolutely no such concept as an ugly looking person with value or worth, because that simply isn't a concept that makes any sense. One day I really hope that ugly looking people get what they have coming to them--maybe we can wake up and realise that certain "ideas" to get rid of them from our race isn't so "immoral" after all.

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The most horrifying thing about ugly people, is that some of them actually do achieve things, some of them are happy, and some of them have what society deems to be “value”. Some of them are “good” by traditional standards. But it’s that fact that is so abusive and wrong—That isn’t right. It isn’t right ugly looking subhuman creatures masquerade as valid members of society. It just sickens me and I can’t stand it

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So no, the defence that “some ugly people are good people” is not valid at all. Ugly people are always bad; that is never going to change. You’re not bad because you’re unloved (you’re loved TOO much) you’re not bad because its impossible for you to achieve anything; no, you’re bad because its what you are, and what you are is bad and toxic by nature.

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So screw off, and stop using the manipulation of “worth” to masqurade as human beings. You’re all just miserable subhumans and its what you’ll always be. I am so fucking sick of people expecting you to judge others by their "personality", I'm sick of having to live in a world where ugly people are allowed to have "value". It angers me, and something legitimately needs to be done about it.

ive always had a problem with pooping, since i was in the womb actually, but i just hate it. im chronically constipated, and it creates a cycle where it hurts to poop and then i get scared to go and then it hurts even more and so on. i’ve tried absolutely everything and nothing has ever worked, and now all i can do is just fucking accept i cant shit. and no one ever talks about how awful it feels to poop, i know not everyone is consipated but i don’t think anyone seriously enjoys the feeling of shit coming out of their ass. it baffles me that people aren’t scared every time they feel they have to shit, and can just walk to the bathroom and decide to go without battling their own mind. its awful, and i have to accept i’ll never get better either, im living with this my entire life. tl;dr I HATE SHITTING IT HURTS AND I DONT BELIEVE ANYONE WHO ENJOYS IT

Fuck you. fuck you, Steam, fuck you, Garry, fuck you, Gabe. I fuck the fucking steam moderators of fucking steam steamfuking (no)works. FUCK YOU, STEAM WORKSHOP. I FUCK YOUR WORKSHOP ISSUES. LUA ERRORS? PAY YE MONEY OR DIE, YOU FUCKING, STUPID, PIECE OF SHIT. FUCK YOU. want you and family died in suffering. I killed your 12 woman. I killed your mother. I killed your god. Eat my shit and lick my balls.

back in my days when someone wrote something lowkey disturbing on the internet I had to type something long, like:

*What the fuck is this comment?*

or write entire ass essays. Now you don't need it anymore. You just hit people with *ayo? 🤨🤨🤨* and embarrass the fuck out of them. The convo just goes like:

*- so you know, I seen this girl and I thought about something with he-*

*- 🤨🤨🤨*

*- no no you know like every men sometimes thinks about fuckin-*

*- ayo? 🤨🤨🤨*

*- it's just primal-*

# - ayo? 🤨🤨🤨

I JUST FUCKING LOVE IT INTERNET LANGUAGE IS FUCKING AWESOME

Let’s just say she was both pissed off and pissed on

We just ate pulled pork with duck pancakes and rice mixed with vegetables. There was left-over pork sauce and rice and I put them both in a bowl and mixed them together. I swear my eyes rolled to the back of my head and all my sins were exorcised.

I’m a new man.

Angels were caressing my tongue with the wing feathers off of Lucifer’s fallen wings and songs that could only be sung by a holy siren gave me bliss that could sooth a rough-and-tumble sailor to the end of his days.

It’s is sheer miracle that such a food-gasm could be thought of, let alone exist outside of the feast of Valhalla and the dining of the heavens.

Aha~
I can hear the children singing in the streets of the kingdom, their chorus clear to be heard by all, bringing the most jovial and unbridled smiles to all visages through the mortal world.

The birds, too.
They vocalise their shame-barren songs with no hint of remorse, proud to bring their piece of glowing beauty to such a beautiful day.

Throughout the squares, flora wear their most flamboyant and exquisite colours and lend their most soothing and gentle fragrances to nostrils perched upon the widest of grins, and their petals bloom with the pride of nobles and knights alike.

And what’s this?
None other than the bells of church strike out their tunes to reverberate across the chiseled window ledges and cobbles of the paths that lead over and through the city that gleams like the sun.

BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BAAAA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BAAAA BAAAAaaaaaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAAAAAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAAAA BAAAAaaaaaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAAAAAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAAAA BAAAAaaaaaBAaBAaBAaBA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BAAAA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BAAAA BAAAAaaaaaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAAAAAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAAAABAAAAaaaaaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAAAAAAAAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAaBAAAAaBAAAA BAAAAaaaaaBAaBAaBAaBA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BA BA BA BA

I came out to my parents this morning.

I’ve known I was zoosexual for quite a while now. I actually lost my virginity about 6 months ago. I’ve always been scared to admit to anyone outside of reddit though, since its common for femcels and sardine cans (‘women’) to look down on us zoosexuals. With it being pride month though, I finally built up the confidence to show them my true self.

I had a few ideas for how to come out to them, but what was most important was that it was grand and memorable. After a little bit of research on what to do and how to do it, I came to a decision!

They both come home from work at the same time, so I turned all the lights off in the house, and even went so far as to cover the windows. Next, I unrolled paper towels and put them over the dining room table. This was so our dog wouldnt slip when I put him up there… among other things.

I was already naked at this point, but I kept a sock on my cock for decencies sake. Id say the hardest part was keeping my dog on the table. God, he was so hot. I guess you could say the real hardest part was my aforementioned cock. I really dont get why men bother with those sick mayo crusted tuna jars (‘Women’).

And then they came in. My parents.

For context, my mom is unfortunately a sardine can but she’s been beaten enough that shes tolerable. My dad is a huge zoophobe so I was worried about how he would take this.

My mom immediately creamed her panties at the sight of my hairy dung covered cock (I had already stuck it in a bit, and still had the sock on)

My dad immediately ran over and rammed in from behind, showing his zoo-pport for my sexuality. (And no, its not incest if its a train. Technically he was doing the dog)

My mom tried to join in but being the upstanding gent I was, I kicked her right between the meat flaps. Now that my dad was open about his zoophilia we didnt need her anymore.

Our jerk off neighbor walked in to investigate all the moaning and sobbing and threatened to call the police or something. I dont know I wasnt really listening. I kinda just tune out femcel losers. Luckily at that point I was ready to cum so I unleashed an inhuman load right into his mouth to shut him up.

Well, as you can guess that just turned him on. Him and my dad immediately started making out while still doing me from behind (while I continued on our dog).

Cut to three days later, where I no longer have a cunt washer mom who fakes depression and two ultra straight zoosexual dads.

I hope this story helps inspire my fellow pride members out there to come out to their parents. It wont be as bad as you think! Dm if you want some advice :)

Morbius (2022) Morbius 2: MoreBius (2024) Morbius 3 (2024) Morbius vs Blade (2025) Morbius vs the Marvel Cinematic Universe (2027) (morbius wins) Morbius vs the DC Extended Universe (2028) (morbius wins) Morbius 7: Morbius kills god (2029) Morbius 8: The Reckoning (2029) Morbius 9 (2030) Morbius X (2032) Morbius: The Series (2032-2189) Morbius XI: Morbin Time (2034) Morbius 12: Resurrection (2034) Morbius the Thirteenth (2036) Morbiverse of Madness (2037) Morbius 15: Morbius (2037) Morbius vs Jared Leto (2038) Morbius vs Kong (2038) Morbius vs Morbius (2039) Morbius 19 (2040) Morbius: 20th (Century) Morbius (2040) 21 Morbiuses (2041) Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 1 (2041) Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 2 (2042) Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 3 (2043) Morbius 25: Morbidly Morbius (2043) Morbius vs Blade II (2044) Morbinity War (2045) Morbgame (2046) Morbius 29 (2047) Morbius vs Jared Leto II (2047) Son of Morbius (2048) Morbius 2049 (2049) The Morbengers (2050) Morb Man and the Morbius (2050) Captain Morbius (2050) Morbius 36 (2051) Morbius 37: The Morbtacular Morbius (2052) Morbius and Venom (2053) Morbius vs Venom (2053) Morbius Kills Venom (2053) Morbception (2054) Morbius 43: Morbius Gaming (2054) Morbius 44: Morbiuses Eleven (2055) Morbius: A New Morb (2056) Morbius: The Morbpire Strikes Back (2056) Morbius: Return of the Morbi (2057) Morbius 48 (2058) Morbius: Morbius (2058) Morbius 50 (2059) Morbius: The Phantom Morbius (2060) Morbius: Attack of the Morbs (2061) Morbius: Revenge of the Morb (2061) Morbius 54: Morbzilla (2062) Morbius: Little House on the Morbrie (2063) Morbius: The Morb Awakens (2064) Morbius: The Last Morb (2064) Morbius: The Rise of Morbius (2065) Morbius: Beyond (2066) Morbius: Into Morbness (2067) Morbius 62 (2068) Morbius and the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2069) Fantastic Morbius (2070) The Morbman (2070) The Morbius (2071) Breaking Morbius (2071) Better Call Morbius (2071)

I'm a man. A real man that gets his cocked suck. I do not eat pussy. I make sure a woman understands that I'm a dom and she is a sub. A real goddamn man. And it hurts to see emasculation in other men. This is frame.

Guys, if a demon offered to make your PENIS twice as fat and thrice as long... (possibly offensive) .but, in exchange for your new monster dong, you had to RITUALISTICALLY HUMILIATE the FUCK out of yourself, and go on Twitter, and post a BUTT-ass NEKKID picture of yourself, where ERRBODY (18+) can see how big your demonically enhanced penis is, and how much hair you have down there, and ERRTHING, ooh WEE, and if you didn't do this, within a month of getting your dick upgrade, you would drop dead, and go straight to Hell, would you do it? I know I would! I mean, DAMN, dude! My penis is fat as FUCK already! If the power of Hell made it twice as fat, I might just set a world record for human penis girth, and ERRBODY reading the Guinness Book of World Records, Gamer's Edition, would see I'm a BIG boy, right next to PewDiePie and Super Mario Sunshine! Maybe I could even have my own video game, about how big my dick is, with me "bustin'," like a goddamn badass, right on the cover, like how them big boys be showing their ARMPIT HAIR on the covers of all the basketball games! Ooh, WEE! How embarrassing! How EMBARRASSING! What a badass! Tee hee! Gosh!

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Morbius. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Morbius’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Vampire literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Morbius truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Morbius’s existential catchphrase "I am Morbius," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Daniel Espinosa’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Morbius tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 morbIQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

Hi reddit

Backstory, a few weeks ago my pregnant wife (27f) and I (28m) went to see a movie - Morbius. Around 5 minutes into the movie, her water broke with some contractions, so we left to rush to the hospital. long story short, we welcomed a new member to the family. We haven’t decided on a name at that point, and since her water broke while we were watching Morbius. We decided to name him Morbius.

After settling back home 2 weeks ago, and finally got some rest looking after young Morb. I saw that the movie has been trending lately online with good reviews, so i thought why not watch it with Morb. I purchased the blue ray copy off prime, and we watched it last night as a family.

So here comes the title, the movie was awful, and we both hated it. My wife and i want to rename our son, and we don’t know how and the process. If anyone could help, it’ll be great. We’re in vic australia

tdlr: named new born son Morbius and would like to rename him.

Listen 👂 here 🈁🈁 you 👈 fucking 🏾👉👉😂 pay-in-game addict scumbag weasel, we're 😫😫 tired 😴 of your 👉 shit. 💩 You 🔥 went 🚨 from 👉 a unique livestreamer who 👏😂 promised to never ❌ become 😌 a shithead whale 🐋 paying 😏💰🤑 stinkbag, to a delusional 👨🏻‍💼 guy 👦 who 👏😂 pays 💰 for 💰💘 everything. 💯 Your 👉 rationale behind 🌥️🌤️ this is that 💃 you 🤟 need 📲 to prove 📸 a point. 🈯 Get 🉐🉐 real, 💯 fucknut. You 👉 haven't 🙅‍♀️ proved shit, 👌 buddy. 😎 You 👈👉👱🏼 may 😎 have 🈶 surrounded yourself 💭 with a bunch 🍼 of ego-massaging yes-men in 👸 OTK, but 🦎 we 👦 don't 👎 play 🤸🏿‍♂️ that 😐 bullshit 💩 here. 🈁🙉 Fix 😤🔧🔨🛠️ your 👉🏼👩🏼 shit, 🤗 or quit. 🚫🚪🏃‍♀️