was cleanin my room but then i
started crying bc i got so mad at the
white people ik (not ur ancestors,
you) for being the most useless
hypocritical people ever and it's
makes me so mad that i even
consider you guys my friends like no
f you we aren't friends anymore ur
all selfish and are going to get
horrible horrible karma for staying
silent in such a mad time. you're not
being intelligent by "staying quiet"
ur abusing ur privilege to ignore the
problems YOU created and i'm so
mad cause why do my people have
to suffer from you acting socially
inept like wtf

Sure, you hear the song and who wouldn't want to be rubbing pubes with the current stars of the day on a boat where "There's something for everyone?" Tennis? You got it. Swimming? No problem. All you can eat oyster buffet? Have at it, chum! You are greeted by the crew's activities director, oh isn't she sweet, and the bartender seems like a good and decent fellow, offering wry commentary, strong drinks and tips on what the ladies like. Captain Stubing cuts a handsome and reassuring figure as he guides you to the elevator, caribbean music playing over the speakers and smiles everywhere.

That's until you get off on the wrong floor and enter the child rape dungeon, where the cries of the victims bounce off the hideous walls until they die out like the tiny lives before you. Sweaty, old businessmen go at their prey, sweating and panting, their business glasses steaming in the fetid humidity as they nakedly thrust in and out in and out until you feel faint and the deckside brunch begins rising in your throat. "You shouldn't be in there" Gopher exclaims as he grabs you brusquely by the arm, but not before a young Corky catches you eye and exclaims "There's something for everyone" and his laugh rings out as it grows dimmer and farther away. Everything goes black and when you wake up you are on a comfy chair next to the pool. Pretty girls wander by and the breeze is pleasant and a tropical drink is in your hand. You put all the horrid memories of what happened into your spank bank for later and head to the buffet, tonight its crab legs!

I sexually Identify as the “I sexually identify as an attack helicopter” joke. Ever since I was a child, I’ve dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don’t fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn’t been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don’t care, I’m hilarious. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “epic kek dank meme owned with facts and logic” and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can’t accept me you’re a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Morbius is an 11 elixir champion card unlocked in spooky town. His special move "Morbin Time" costs 1 elixir and will cause Morbius to immediately take out the king tower. With insane dps and knockback with each attack Morbius definitely must be countered with other units. Morbius also has depoyment damage similar to Mega Knight with a splash radius of 1 morbillion tiles making it so counter pushes are the best strategy when using Morbius. Hard counters to Morbius include, turning off your phone, quitting the game and giving up immediately. Morbius can be currently unlocked in the Morbius Triple Draft where all card choices are Morbius. This challange may prove difficult but is actually surprisingly easy if you use Morbius.

Morbius Stats:

Hp: 1 Morbillion

Attack Dmg: 2 Morbillion per sec

Attack Speed: instant

Morb Speed: 50 Morbillion

Deploy Dmg: 5 Morbillion Attack Type:

Morbius Targets: Yes

Morbin Time Ability: 1 elixir cost with a 0 second recharge time. Morbius on activation will proceed to say his classic line "Its morbin time" and proceed with his attack. Trivia: Did you know that Morbius was inspired by the classic Morbius film? Which is considered the best Morbius movie ever to be made. The name of Morbius in game was also inspired by Morbius's name Morbius. The voice actor for Morbius was also in Morbius played by Morbius playing Morbius.

~My zoophilia Q/A~

Hello fellow redditors and holymen! My depp supporters and my heardturds!

My last post got a huge positive response! Lots of people dming with questions about how to start and what to start with. Im happy to report that about 5 fellow redditors have sworn off ‘women’!

Sadly, we also had a huge storm of femcels insisting bestiality was wrong while stubbornly providing little to no evidence.

Well, haters and supporters, Im here making this post to answer some of your most common questions!

Firstly, what animals do I recommend for beginners?

Dogs and goats right off the bat are probably the easiest to access and penetrate. Goats are my personal preference because of a wonderful manga ill provide the link to in dms.

Doesn’t the bible say bestiality is bad?

The bible is nothing but a hoax written by femcels and sardine cans (‘women’). God himself told me via prayer that bestiality is what he wants.

Why do you hate women so much?

Theyre disgusting fish creatures made solely for breeding that got way too greedy and narcissistic. Now they wont even allow themselves to be penetrated, the one thing theyre good for. Honestly theyre just disgusting.

Are you recruiting for a cult?

No, I simply want to support my fellow holymen and redditors on their journey away from women. Ill even paypal some so they can purchase the animals they desire :)

If theres anymore questions, please just comment and ill answer! Ask me anything, unless youre a femcel loser.

I get hard whenever anything touches my dick. My dick is the size of a small house, and when it gets erect, it can easily make a home for a few children, as it size gets up to 1km squared when erect, which is about the same size as the Vatican. I can’t wear pants normally, so I just let my dick hang out there. I also can’t use any vehicles, nor can I work due to the size of my dick. I also can’t masturbate, nor have sex, so this whole mega dick thing made me become incredibly horny, which made me have a country sized erection all the time. I will eventually stop thinking due to my dick growing like a new Bork child. I cummed yesterday, this caused a flooding in my home town. This incident is now known as “the big cumming”, and it killed 20 people. I can no longer talk to my family, because the smell is so horrible.

TL;DR: My dick is so big it killed many people

That has to be one of the most repugnant mixtures to be created, so disgusting I believe I would immediately gag if I was in a 20 foot distance from it. Consuming such--liquid, if you can even call this nauseating concoction that, would be beyond fathomable. Every time you take a small sip you might as well be flipping a coin, heads is diabetes, tails is immediate death from heart failure. To describe it as 'tasting great' can only be a symptom of shock from the destruction this would cause your taste buds, causing them to become numb and unable to process the obscene harm it is causing to your body.

People say stupid jokes all the time like “huhu durr this movie is the movie ever made it sold one morbillion tickets turi ip ip” and stuff like that, but no one ever tried to think about what the true human value of “one morbillion” is. Well, using some simple maths we can figure it out. First, set up the equation. After watching Indian guys on youtube do math I deduced we need to use all of the basic operations. Firstly, we take our baseline, one billion (1000000000). Then we add the population of chads in the country Chad, which is 16 million. We then subtract the number of twitter users overall (roughly 330 million). Then we multiply from the average watchtime of Morbius (which is 104 minutes, but everyone has seen it at least five times in one go, so the actual number is 520 minutes). Finally, we divide the number by the number of days a human can survive without Morbius (3) and we at last reach the closest true value to one Morbillion. Morbius sold 118,906,666,667 tickets.
The equation is as follows: ((((1,000,000,000+16,000,000)-330,000,000)x520)/3).

Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "morb"
I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to morb. So what we came across that day in the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to morb to the internet, I want to morb to anyone who's seen the video, I want to morb to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to morb to the victim and his family. For my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to morb. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.

Morbius. What a fucking movie. At the first time i watched the movie, it was fine. The second time i watched it with my family, and quickly got bored. Then the next time came, and i watched it with my friends! At this point, i was pissed. I had made a deep hatred for Morbius myself. I tought to myself "fuck this morbius shit" and went to bed. Next morning i opened Reddit and saw a morbius meme on r/sbubby and i lost it. I went for an hour long rant about how morbius is a bad movie. I typed it all on caps, fuming. After i finally typed it out, i noticed i had instantly -1,7K downvotes. I tought to myself "these shitbags only like it for the memes!" And every single day after that i lost it. My reddit account got suspended, i got cancelled on twitter and when i threatened to bomb Obama's house i got put into CIA's torture chamber. Every single fucking time they bring me food they say "don't get the morbs!" And i scream the whole day. My existance is pain. I fucking hate morbius. WORST PART?! HE DOESN'T EVEN SAY MORBIN' TIME IN THE FUCKING MOVIE!!!!

Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correlate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.

l want hog rider sex so much like Aughhhhh i want his beefy bbc to slapped across my face as i suck his fluids passionately. His ass reminds me of my pillow so soft and squidy the perfect amount for it to be fuckable. I want hog rider to shove a stick up my ass until i climax as I lovingly eat his ass. His cock is big it reached my lungs when i tried to deep throat it. Ive been training my gag reflex so hard to train for him but he is just to much.

Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum. Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum, cum, cum cum cum cum cum-cum.

Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum. Cum cum cum cum. Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum. Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum.

Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum.

Cum cum cum cum cum cum. Cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum cum - cum cum cum cum cum.

love to any and all members of the LGBTQ+ community. you will always have me in your corner. you’re valid, accepted, and welcome, no matter who you are and whether you’re publicly out or not. you deserve to feel proud to be yourself.

love u all always ❤️

Morbmeries broken,
the morb goes unspoken,
I've even morbgotten my morb,
I don't the season,
Or what is the reason,
I'm standing here morbing my morb,
A desolate morb (morb),
Without any morb (morb)
It's only the cold morb I feel,
It's me that I morb,
As I stand up and morb,
The only thing I morb for real,
THERE WILL BE MORB, SHED,
The morb in the morber morbs his head,
The only morb, left,
Will morb upon the morbon's back,
Because the morbtains don't morb back what they morb,
Oh no
THERE WILL BE MORB (MORB) SHED (SHED),
IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT I'VE EVER MOOOOOOOOORBED!
(absolutely morbin' solo)
MORBING MY IDENTITY,
WONDERING "HAVE I GONE MORBSANE?"
TO FIND THE MORB IN FRONT OF MORB,
I MUST MORB THIS MORBTAIN RANGE,
LOOKING DOWNWARDS FROM THIS MORBLY HEIGHT,
NEVER REALISING WHY I MORB!

You watch Morbius for the 1000th time. You receive an email notifying you that you are the lucky winner of 1 morbillion dollars. It will be mailed to you at your address. Days pass, and you get a package. However, it is an elongated cardboard box that seems unfit to hold 1 morbillion dollars. You bring it inside your house. Morbius himself jumps out of the box, congratulates you, and gives you a hug. He then proceeds to hand you 1 morbillion dollars. Your eyes meet and you feel an odd attraction to him. You lean forward as he embraces you in his muscled morbed arms. His long hair brushes your face, his scent reassuring you. You take him into your bedroom where he whispers in your ear, "It's morbin' time".

Years pass. You and Morbius are in love. He takes you to a beautiful scenic area and kneels down. You gasp. He says, "Will you morby me?" Tears rush down your face as you say, "yes". His arms reach around your waist as he picks you up and flies off with you into the night. You plan the wedding. Your parents refuse to come as they do not approve of Morbius. The Morbius theme song plays as you walk down the aisle. That night you get your first taste of the Morbussy.

Morbius is pregnant. He gives birth to a beautiful morby boy, who you christen Morbius Jr. Two years later, Morbius would give birth to Morbina, your daughter. You live happily with Morbius and your children. Then the diagnosis comes. Morbius is morbidly obese. This occurred from the years of prosperous marriage to you (you are a wonderful cook). He has two days to live. You spend these days together, forgetting about your offspring. You are devastated. Then, on Morbius's final day, you spend the last 1 hour and 48 minutes of his life doing what brought you together in the first place: Watching Morbius (2022). You reach for his hand. As soon as the post-credits scene ends, Morbius's soul leaves his body. You break down. There is nothing left for you anymore.

This is wrong on so many levels I can't even count them.

First: What the fuck do you have against gamers?

Second: What the fuck is wrong with horny people?

Third: Are you a fucking madman? Cops are important and deserve our respect

Fourth: Hentai blogs? Really? I have no words

Fifth: Boohoo, someone called you a slur! How sad. It's not like someone came up to you and said it to your face, get over it, pussy.

Sixth: I'm not ever right wing and I can smell the bullshit from here. Wow, someone has a different opinion, we must take away their rights. Jeez, just call them some slurs and go on with your life.

Seventh: DBH fans? What- How- what the- I don't comprehend this.

Eighth: WHAT. THE. FUCK. Just wtf. How do you get right wing reactionaries from cops and horny people. Now hentai blogs from horny people and gamers, that I can understand (although it's more usually anime and manga fans than gamers). How do you get angry people from cops and gamers? I mean, some angry gamers alone will call you shit. No need for cops there. Actually, why even have cops anywhere in the diagram?

You watch Morbius for the 1000th time. You receive an email notifying you that you are the lucky winner of 1 morbillion dollars. It will be mailed to you at your address. Days pass, and you get a package.... However, it is an elongated cardboard box that seems unfit to hold 1 morbillion dollars. You bring it inside your house. Morbius himself jumps out of the box, congratulates you, and gives you a hug. He then proceeds to hand you 1 morbillion dollars. Your eyes meet and you feel an odd attraction to him. You lean forward as he embraces you in his muscled morbed arms. His long hair brushes your face, his scent reassuring you. You take him into your bedroom where he whispers in your ear, "It's morbin' time". Years pass. You and Morbius are in love. He takes you to a beautiful scenic area and kneels down. You gasp. He says, "Will you morby me?" Tears rush down your face as you say, "yes". His arms reach around your waist as he picks you up and flies off with you into the night. You plan the wedding. Your parents refuse to come as they do not approve of Morbius. The Morbius theme song plays as you walk down the aisle. That night you get your first taste of the **Morbussy**.
(fanfic credit: **Fishdan3#3113** )

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS hate. What’s even the joke???? “Hahahaha hey guys the movie is great but I pretend it sucks”???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE.

Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, “hehe morbius was mediocre” ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. MORBIUS is AMAZING. THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE PERFECTION AND IM ASHAMED TO NOT HAVE SPENT MORE MONEY ON IT. You know…. I never would have seen the movie if I listened to these “memes”(unfunny shitposts).

I would have been a MUCH UNHAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your “MORBIUS haters” your “morbin is unfunny. more morbs doesn't equal better. BULLSHIT” NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? “Morb sucks morb sucks morb sucks morb sucks” you’re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does “morbin sucks” even mean????? ITS NOT A JOKE. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS HATE BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, GO WATCH MORBIUS. Maybe if you went watching MORBIUS you could get “morb” bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO.

I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame. This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES “Morbius was trash” EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying “morbius sucks” LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any comment that starts with "m-o-r-b sucks" is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isn’t funny because hating something good is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A HATER INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I love MORBIUS. I LOVE IT. I know I’m just going to get FLOODED WITH “watch avengers, this guy is just memeing, what a unfunny copypasta” HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH

#You will need

Tomatoes, tomato paste, a dry wine, olive oil, onions, garlic, pepperoncino, salt, pepper, and basil.

#Recipe

Start off by dicing your onion, garlic, and pepperoncino. Then move onto the tomatoes. I recommend using canned whole san marzanos tomatoes, but if you feel like being extra you can also blanche some fresh tomatoes if you want. You can also use pre crushed canned tomatoes. You can also crush your tomatoes by hand or use a food processor.

After that, preheat a pan on high for a minute or two and then coat the bottom in your olive oil. Add in the onions and pepperoncino first in order to sweat them for a bit. They will not need long to cook, just wait for the onions to become translucent a bit. After this, add in the garlic and cook until aromatic. Don't brown the garlic or it will become very bitter.

Once aromatic, add in about an ounce or two of tomato paste and fry it for a bit. Frying the tomato paste will add more flavor to the sauce and just make it taste better. Mix it around with the onions, garlic, and pepper.

After the tomato paste has fried for a bit, add in your wine of choice. Ensure it is a dry wine. If you add in a white wine, it will add a certain sweetness and acidity to the sauce. If you add in a red wine, it will add in a richer, almost meaty flavor to the sauce. Mix around until the alcohol smell has burned off and the tomato paste had mixed in with the wine.

Now, drop the heat to a medium-low and add in the tomatoes, basil, salt, and pepper. Allow to simmer and make sure you taste the sauce to get it to where you want. The simmering should take around 20 minutes or so, though really this depends on how thick you want it.

After done, you have your sauce and it is so much better than what you will get at a store in a jar. You can use this sauce for pasta, muscles and marinara, or chicken parm.