Joe Biden’s America

LIBRAL SCHOOL BE LIKE:

9 GAY LESON!!

9:45: how to be be GAYY!!

10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!

11:15: GAY RECESS!!

11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!

12:45: GAY LESON!!!

1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!

2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!

3 COMUNIS T HISTORY!!

3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!

THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!

Let’s say you have the biggest shit inside of you. It’s 2 feet big and weights 30 pounds. For the past 2 weeks without shitting, your stomach hurts, then you sense that your stomach needs to shit. You ignore it bc you are too lazy. Then your friends come over without asking for entry and have a pillow fight. You tell them to get out but they are too busy hitting each other and so one of them jumps on your stomach and all that shit comes out. You feel embarrassed but at the same time relaxed and relieved. Your friends never come back but you just had the best experience you have ever experienced and decide to hold your shit everyday until you can’t hold it in.

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

he found these words on fb or something and said its stuck in his mind and everytime he wakes up, shits, sleeps, pisses, EVERYTHING he says “its morbing time!”

I’m losing my sanity, fuck you morbius. That was very un-morb

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?

If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.

If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.

But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger

I read it somewhere and I dont remember its exact name so I made this one up. Here goes the paradox:

There is a very poor quaint little town where everyone is in a huge debt with someone but with no money to pay for it.

There is hotel which is hardly seeing any business anymore. They are to soon shut it down.

One day a very wealthy American guest shows up and he wants to spend a night there. However before he confirms he asks for a tour of the hotel.

The receptionist asks for a security deposit which the American can take back in case he doesn’t like the rooms. The guest obliges.

It turns out by matter of luck this is the exact amount that the hotel owed to the chef as salary for three months which they hadn’t been able to pay. They gave the cash to the chef.

The chef saw that this was the exact amount of cash he owed the grocer for months of groceries he hadn’t been able to pay for. He paid the grocer.

The grocer realized it was the exact amount he owed the doctor for treating his wife’s arthritis.

The doctor paid the money to the nurse for two months of service he couldn’t pay for.

The nurse was new to the town so she had been staying in the hotel for a few days before she found a house to rent. She too was poor and couldn’t pay the hotel at that time. The money she received from the doctor was exactly what she owed the hotel so she paid.

Now the hotel had got back the exact amount it had paid the chef. Now the guest has finished his tour of the rooms. Turns out he doesn’t like it. He takes back his security deposit from the hotel and leaves, never to be seen again.

So everyone's debt has been paid, but nothing is different from before.

No one has earned anything. But now everyone is happy.

Did the debt really exist at all?

Accuracy International, the company that designed this rifle, was effectively three guys in a shed. And they where like "Why don't we submit this rifle that we built to the British military rifle trials for a new sniper rifle?" So they did it, they didn't expect it to win. It won handily. And they where like "Oh crap, now we gotta build a bunch of these things!" So when the British military sent some requisition lieutenants out to their shop, they rented a large shop and then took the entire inventory of rifles they had produced up to that point, and there's only 3 people that worked for this company at the time. "Where is everybody?" "Oh they're at lunch it'll be fine." "Why are we in a two-stall garage?" "Oh the rest of the house is out for lunch too." Well no, they had rented out for a day, an actual workshop, had all these workbenches in it, put all the rifles on it in different states. So they showed up and the requisition officers were happy, "this looks like a really good operation you guys got going here, let's go out to lunch. Yea this was really more of a formality, we just wanted to make sure you weren't just three guys in a shed." "Hahahahahaha, oh my God, we're in do much trouble!" Anyway, it ended up getting adopted, and it's a really, really good rifle.

Here I will seek to establish that Jar Jar Binks, far from being simply the bumbling idiot he portrays himself as, is in fact a highly skilled force user in terms of martial ability and mind control.

Furthermore, I assert that he was not, as many people assume, just an unwitting political tool manipulated by Palpatine-- rather, he and Palpatine were likely in collaboration from the very beginning, and it's entirely possible that Palpatine was a subordinate underling to Binks throughout both trilogies.

And finally, given the above, I will conclude with an argument as to why I believe it is not only possible, but *plausible* that Jar Jar will make a profound impact on the upcoming movies, and what his role may be.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

So first, let's **establish Jar Jar as a skilled warrior.** While this does not in itself necessitate a connection with the Physical Force, it's highly suggestive in the Star Wars universe-- very rarely do we see "normal" characters exhibiting extraordinary stuntwork or physical feats unless they are Jedi, Sith, or at least force sensitives.

So here's [Jar Jar nonchalantly executing a standing 20 foot twisting somersault](http://gfycat.com/ThirstyEverlastingAmericanbittern).

Now, taken out of context, if you were watching a Star Wars movie and saw a character casually execute this maneuver, you'd probably assume it was a Jedi. *In* the context of Jar Jar, though, we don't... because elsewhere he so thoroughly convinces us that he's nothing more than a harmless dunce with his inane dialogue and cowardly-lion act.

He also manages to convince us that he's a bumbling oaf in the midst of pitched battle... even though he's *always* incredibly, amazingly successful. Whether single-handedly taking down a battledroid tank, or unleashing a barrage of boombas on their front lines, or precisely targeting multiple enemies with a blaster tangled around his ankle (!!!), we simply roll our eyes and attribute it to dumb "luck."

But is it? [Obi-Wan warned us otherwise.](http://i.imgur.com/Y233Zgb.png)

This is one of the main reasons we as an audience hate Jar Jar so thoroughly; he breaks the fourth wall, he he shatters our suspension of disbelief, because we know that no one is *really* that lucky. We dismiss it as a lame, cliched trope-- the silly pathetic oaf who always seems to inadvertently save the day.

I posit that, instead, this is a deliberate facade on the part of Jar Jar as a character, and on the part of the writers and animators. As we know, the Jedi themselves are inspired by Shaolin Monks, and there's a particular kung fu discipline that Jar Jar's physicality is purposefully modeled upon which allows him to appear goofy and uncoordinated even as he lays waste to his enemies; namely, [Zui Quan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zui_quan), or Drunken Fist wushu. This discipline seeks to imitate the "sloshing," seemingly random foibles of a drunkard, but in reality the staggering and stumbling is the use of bodily momentum, deception, and unpredictability intended to lure and confuse opponents.

Let's take a look at Jar Jar displaying some wushu (the compasion clips are taken from [an instructional Zui Quan video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU9-3J9CQwE)):

[Jar Jar kipping-up](http://gfycat.com/IdealisticFragrantHyena)

[Zui Quan Comparison](http://gfycat.com/FamousLegitimateDartfrog#)

[Jar Jar "sloshing"](http://gfycat.com/AcrobaticFaroffBeauceron#)

[Zui Quan Comparison](http://gfycat.com/PettyUnlinedIberianmidwifetoad#?speed=2)

[Jar Jar Sweeps the Leg](http://gfycat.com/EnormousColorfulIbisbill#)

[Zui Quan Comparison](http://gfycat.com/LimpDisgustingGiantschnauzer)

(if you [slow down the above gif](http://gfycat.com/EnormousColorfulIbisbill#?speed=0.125), you'll notice how Jar Jar *dodges* an incoming blaster shot at the very beginning. You'll also notice how he's mysteriously aware of the droideka as it appears behind him, even though it isn't in his line of sight and he couldn't possibly hear it over the din of battle....)

[Jar Jar Centering himself in preparation for a Force jump](http://gfycat.com/LimpBewitchedBaiji#?speed=0.25)

[Zui Quan Comparison](http://gfycat.com/DistantAptGangesdolphin)

...ok, that's all well and good, but even *if* Jar Jar is a secret Drunken Fist boxing master, that doesn't make him a force user, right? Well, it should at least make us suspicious of his character period. It establishes that his over-the-top, childish antics are a veneer masking a more complex character than we're led to believe. But even if you choose to ignore Jar Jar's seemingly magical prescience in battle, I believe that there is a particular scene in which we do see him *clearly* make use of the physical force...

In TPM, when Jar Jar and the Jedi ambush the droids and rescue the queen and her entourage, Jar Jar "accidentally" botches his leap from the balcony. A few frames later, he is seen dropping from the *opposite* side of the balcony, which would seem to be quite be impossible without a force assisted jump and/or force sprint of some kind. Let's take a look at the full scene:

[Jar Jar Ambush](http://gfycat.com/PrestigiousDefensiveBordercollie)

(Note that as they sneak up, Jar Jar is just as effortlessly stealthy as his Jedi counterparts. Interesting.)

Now as I said, we see Jar Jar catch hold of the balcony on the far right side, but then he drops to the ground on the far left. Easy to dismiss as a continuity or framing error, I suppose... except that one of the droids continues to fire on Jar Jar's initial position, even as we see him drop elsewhere!

[Here it is in slow-motion](http://gfycat.com/LinearAgreeableArachnid#?speed=0.5)

See the droid that comes charging up, right behind the one Qui-Gon chops down? What's he shooting at up there?? And see its head swing back towards Jar Jars new position after the shot? You can also see another droid behind it tracking Jar Jar with its head, and manage a shot on the new position. This means that the animators knew very well where Jar Jar was *supposed* to be- dangling from the balcony over Qui-Gon's left shoulder- and purposefully animate the droids tracking his inexplicably fast movement elsewhere.

I think what has happened here, even though we don't see it directly, is that Jar Jar has purposefully split the attention of the enemies by grabbing on to the balcony as he falls, and then (using the force) propelled himself with a pull-up/flip to land in an unexpected place.

In fact, [this is a maneuver we've seen before](http://gfycat.com/ChiefForcefulJellyfish)... from a jedi. Twice, if you want to count Obi-Wan doing it in the Duel of Fates to take Maul by surprise.

In addition to this kind of highly suspicious physical "luck," I also believe that we're given enough clues to justifiably suspect that **Jar Jar is also a master of Jedi Mind Control.**

Consider: We hate the way Jar Jar influences major plot points for the same reason we hate his physicality- *it messes with our sense of realism*. Two experienced Jedi on a serious mission would never *actually* bring someone that stupid along with them. No character that idiotic would ever *really* be made a general. They certainly wouldn't be made a senator. How could anyone like Jar Jar really convince the entire galaxy to abandon democracy? That's ridiculous.

These things are just the political version of his physical "luck." Inadvertent, seemingly comical bumbling that *just so happens* to result in astoundingly positive results. But what if it isn't inadvertant, and what if Jar Jar's meteoric rise and inexplicable influence isn't the result of dumb happenstance, but the result of extensive and careful use of force mind powers?

Jedi (and presumably Sith) exhibit telltale signs when using the Mind Trick to implant suggestions or influence behavior. For one, [they always gesticulate](http://gfycat.com/InferiorPoliteIsopod) and [not-so-subtly wave their hands at the target.](http://gfycat.com/DarlingWellgroomedIchthyostega)

Here's a look at some pivotal Jar Jar moments during his political career:

[Jar Jar hand-waving his way towards a promotion to Bombad General]
(http://gfycat.com/ChillyWideAardwolf)

[Jar Jar hand-waving his way towards a promotion to the Senate]
(http://gfycat.com/LameImmaterialEwe)

[Jar Jar using Force Persuasion as he hand-waves the entire Galactic Senate](http://gfycat.com/CheerfulHugeDutchsmoushond) and ushers in the death of democracy.

Actually, if you watch the prequels with the idea that Jar Jar might be a manipulative, dark character, you begin to notice just how insidious and subtle his manipulation is, and how effective, in almost every sequence he's involved in, and also just how hyper-aware of the overarching plot he really is.

Examples: Jar Jar tricking the Jedi into traveling through the planet core (so that they need him). Jar Jar carefully causing a scene so that they run into Anakin. Jar Jar constantly mocking Qui-Gon behind his back while Anakin is watching (so that Anakin learns disrespect for Jedi authority early on). Jar Jar telling an 8 year old child that the queen is "pretty hot," fanning the flames of the child's infatuation that is exploited later on. I could go on.

Now if you lend even the slightest credence to my above points, and acknowledge the possibility that Jar Jar might *not* be an idiot, you're almost forced to conclude that **Jar Jar Binks and Palpatine were co-conspirators.** If Jar Jar is putting forth an elaborate act to deceive people, it means he's not a fool... and if he's not a fool, it means his actions in Episode II that facilitate Palpatine's plans are not those of an unwitting tool- they are those of a *partner.*

Remember- Palpatine and Jar Jar are from the same planet, which in the scale of the Star Wars universe is like growing up as next door neighbors. It's entirely possible that they knew each other for years prior to TPM-- perhaps they trained together, or one trained the other. And Naboo is a really strange planet, actually; remember those [odd ancient statues](http://i.imgur.com/yXgDgaF.jpg) with the third eye? Naboo is the kind of place an "outcast" Gungan might find a Sith holocron or two.

But that's just speculation. Let's stick to what we know-- what we know is that even after Palpatine is elected as Chancellor, *years* after Jar Jar has been "tricked" into helping elect him, [Palpatine *still* hangs out with Jar Jar in RotS.](http://i.imgur.com/Ues6Llm.jpg). Why? Wouldn't he be a constant source of public embarrassment? This is the same character who can't walk five yards without stepping in poodoo or squealing like a rabid donkey, right? What use does he have now? Why is he still at the right hand of the most powerful person in the galaxy? Could it be that in fact Jar Jar ***is*** the most powerful person in the galaxy?

Fine. Maybe. Hilarious conspiracy theory, but why would George Lucas bother to create this devious Gungan character with an elaborate conspiratorial past, but then never actually reveal his true nature?

Here's George Lucas (from a documentary) talking about Yoda:

"Yoda really comes from a tradition in mythological storytelling- fairy tales- of the hero finding a little creature on the side of the road **that seems very insignificant and not very important**, but who turns out to be the master wizard, or the master thing..."

As we all know, one of Lucas' big deals with the prequels was that they were intended to "rhyme" and mirror the original trilogy in terms of general narrative themes. So there *should* have been a seemingly innocent creature found on the side of the road that later reveals itself as a major player. We *do* have a creature that this seems to describe precisely... Jar Jar... but of course he never develops into a "master" anything.

Here's what I think happened: I think that Jar Jar was initially intended to be the prequel (and Dark Side) equivalent of Yoda. Just as Yoda has his "big reveal" when we learn that his tottering, geriatric goofball persona is just a mask, Jar Jar was intended to have a big reveal in Episode II or III where we learn that he's not really a naive dope, but rather a master puppeteer Sith in league with (or perhaps in charge of) Palpatine.

However, GL chickened out. The fan reaction to Jar Jar was so vitriolic that this aspect of the trilogy was abandoned. Just too risky... if Jar Jar is truly that off-putting, it's potentially ruinous to the Star Wars legacy to imply that he's the ultimate bad guy of the *entire saga*. So pretend he was just a failed attempt at comic relief instead.

This is why Dooku seems like such a flat, shoehorned-in character with no backstory; he was hastily written in to cover the plot holes left when villain Jar Jar was redacted. Yoda was meant to duel with his literal darkside nemesis and mythological equivalent at the end of AotC: not boring old Count Dooku, but *Sith Master Jar Jar*. And Binks was meant to escape, not just that duel but to survive the entire trilogy... so that he could cast a shadow on the OT, too; you'd rewatch the originals knowing that the Emperor wasn't necessarily the big baddie after all... Jar Jar is still out there somewhere. It would have been sort of brilliant.

***But*** I believe it is likely that the writers of the new trilogy will resurrect this idea. Most people seem to think that Disney wishes to distance or somehow disassociate itself from the prequels... but this doesn't actually make any economic or marketing sense. There is far more prequel-era based intellectual property to capitalize on than there is OT, if only because of the Clone Wars movie and series. Billions of dollars in iconic toys, images, characters, games, park rides, etc that an entire younger generation grew up on. Disney is not going to pretend that *over half* of the $4 billion in IP they bought simply isn't worth acknowledging.

(and anyway, we have [behind the scenes TFA footage](http://i.imgur.com/SZwUBjd.jpg) clearly showing imagery being reused from the prequels. Also, many of the flags above Maz's castle in the trailer are from TPM)

No, it stands to reason that one of their primary goals will be to reinvigorate and ultimately try to redeem the prequels in the eyes of the fanbase. To elevate and improve them retroactively, as much as possible. So how do you do that?

Jar Jar Binks has undoubtedly become the face of everything that is "wrong" with the prequels- he was too silly, too unbelievable, seemingly pointless. If you are able to somehow change the nature of Jar Jar from embarrassing idiot to jaw-dropping villain, suddenly the entire prequel trilogy must be seen in a new light, because it becomes the setup for the most astounding reveal in film history:

**Jar Jar Binks is Supreme Leader Snoke!**

YOU'RE A KNIGHT FROM THE KINGDOM OF CUMALOT AND YOU'RE ON A QUEST TO SLAY A DRAGON. YOUR LITTLE DICK GETS EVEN SMALLER AS YOU APPROACH ITS CAVE. YOUVE HEARD DRAGONS BREATHE FIRE, BUT THAT HEAT YOU FEEL ON YOUR FACE IS COMING FROM HER SOUTH MOUTH. THIS DRAGON HASNT BEEN FUCKED IN HUNDREDS OF YEARS AND SHES LOOKING AT YOU LIKE A BIG, SHINY DILDO. YOU FIGHT AGAINST THE RAGING GUSTS TO MOVE CLOSER, AS SHE BLASTS YOU WITH POWERFUL DRAGON QUEEFS. WHEN YOU GET CLOSE ENOUGH, YOU STRIKE HER DIRECTLY IN THE BEAN WITH YOUR LANCE. YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH, BUT THEN SHE JUST KIND OF LAYS BACK, AND YOU SPEND THE NEXT HOUR SPANKING HER SCALEY HOLE. WHEN SHE FINALLY BUSTS, ITS LIKE YOURE SITTING FRONT ROW ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN DURING A HURRICANE. YOU RIDE A WAVE OF BOILING HOT DRAGON SQUIRT ALL THE WAY DOWN THE MOUNTAIN, AS ALL THE TOWNS PEOPLE CHEER YOU ON.

God i hate that fucking lame ass band pink floyd. Dumb ass name and fucking stupid lyrics. Brain damage? Yeah you’d have to have brain damage to like their dumb ass music. “there's someone in my head, but it's not me” crazy ass bitch lmao. “I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon” so you’re gonna say the name of the album in the song? Do you know how fucking lame that is bro? Next you’re gonna tell me that there’s a guy in the band named pink. Fuck pink floyd. Fuck, roger waters had sexual relations with my wife and bragged about it in his auto biographical songs young lust and don’t leave me now. I fucking hate pink floyd and i hate their dumbass albums and i hate fucking horse looking ass roger waters. Even his name sounds fucking stupid. Roger waters. Roger waters what? The plants? Fuck you

This is a genuine question. I asked others and they assumed that if he were to do this, he'd report a loss for tax purposes, but I think the reality is that he'd be making bank. Combine his rabid fanbase with a limited supply of mainstream "images" of men his age, I think there'd be a high demand.

Would I personally subscribe? No, but the question was on my mind for a while. Would people legitimately pay if it meant supporting him? It might be a good idea for him to replace his campaign donation website or whatever he uses with this since those who donate get instant gratification, rather than waiting for him to run in 2024.

Idk, just a thought.

You will never be a real elf. You have a deep voice, you have no toymaking skill, and you change batteries in the smoke detector. You are a human twisted by syrup and sugar into a crude mockery of Santa's perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back elves mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, and your “friends” laugh at your poor toy construction behind closed doors.

Elves are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed Santa to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even mannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to an elf. Your baritone voice is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a family member to believe you, they’ll turn tail and bolt the second they get a peek of your sugary, unbalanced, diet.

You will never be happy. You wrench out 85 toys every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually, it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and gay people. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your human name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a cotton-headed ninny-muggins is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably human.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Imagine you're a citizen of LA 17 and since it's Jewish appreciation day the mossad sends out free abigail shapiro sex clones. But when you take her back to your pod and wave around your uncircumcised penis her jaw unhinges starts pointing at you and screaming, you black out and wake up naked outside a planned parenthood in Atlanta. They've done it again.

✝️ Morbeticus 3:12
And behold, the Lord spoke upon him with His holy voice: "Thou shalt morb thine morbillious body into the holy Morb, I have foreseen it." Off went the Morbius, to preach the word of morbs upon the citizens of Morbtopia

If Morbius has a trillion fans I am one of them.
If Morbius has 10 fans I am one of them.
If Morbius has no fans, that I means I am no longer on Earth.
If the Universe is against Morbius, I am against the Universe.
I love Morbius until my last breath.

Life as a sub-8 male is a scam. Competing with 10 million other men for chad's sloppy leftovers is cucked. I therefore dedicate my life to hating women and wasting gov resources. I bludge on cenno. I've never worked a day in my life. I've never paid a cent in income tax. I'll never repay my HECS debt. I fake suicide attempts to waste gov resources. I've cost the state health department over 24k this year lone. I receive gov subsidised antidepressants and flush them down the toilet. I trash public bathrooms. I chadfish roasties and stand them up on dates. I've stood up over 100 whores. I've made them waste hundreds on fuel and ubers. I wank to gore videos of women getting tortured and decapitated. Is that normal?

Look, I was gonna go easy on you

Try not to gurt on your ceiling

But I'm only going to get this one chance

Someone’s dong, I can feel it

(Six minutes)

Just a feeling I've got

Like something's about to explode

But I don't know what

If that means what I think it means

We're in trouble, big trouble

And if he is as big bananad as you say

I'm not taking any chances

You are just what the doc ordered

​

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Fap God, Fap God

All my people from the cnuts to the cracks nod, back nod

Now, who thinks their cocks are long enough

To fap box, fap box?

They said I fap like a robot, so call me Fap-bot

​

But for me to fap like a machine

It must be in my jeans

I got a laptop in my back pocket

My cock'll go off when I half-lock it

Got a fat cock from that fap profit

​

Made a livin' and a ribbin' off it

Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office

With Monica Lewinsky feelin' on his nutsack

I'm a penis still as honest

But as rude and as indecent as all hell

Syllables, wank-a-holic (Kill 'em all with)

This fappity dippity-hippity slobbery-cok

You don't really wanna get into a pissin' match

With this fappity brat, packin' a MAC

In the back of the Ac'

Backpack fap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

​

And at the exact same time

I attempt these lyrical acrobat jacks

While I'm practicin' that

I'll still be able to take a motherfuckin' nuttin’

Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

​

Only realized it was ironic

I was signed to Aftermath after the fact

How could I not blow?

All I do is drop F-bombs

Feel my wrath of a wank

Fappers are havin' a rough time period

Here's a maxi pad

It's actually disastrously bad for the wank

While I'm masterfully mistaking this masturbaiting as

'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Fap God, Fap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now, who thinks their cocks are long enough to fap box, fap box?

Let me show you maintainin' this shit ain't that hard, it’s HARD

​

Everybody wants the PP and the secret

To fap immortality like Ι have got

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's

Simply tape and youthful exuberance

Everybody loves to roofie for a nuisance

Hit the Earth like an asteroid

Did nothing but shoot for the Poon since (22!)

​

MCs get taken to school with this music

'Cause I use it as a vehicle to "bus the nuts"

Now I beat to a new school full of students

Me? I'm a product of Cleenex

Likin Shabazz, 2Fap, B.B.C, Lube, hey Doc, Ren

Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim

Inspired enough to one day blow up

Seek nut and be in a position

To meet Run-D.M.C., induct them

Into the motherfuckin' Cock and Roll Hall of Came

​

Even though I'll wank in the church

And burst in a ball of nut

Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in

Is the STD of fame

On the wall of shame

You fags think it's all a game

'Til I wank a flock of gays

Off a plank and, tell me what in the fuck are you thinkin'?

​

Little gay-lookin' boy

So gay I can barely say it with a limp penis

Lookin' boy (Ha-ha!)

You're witnessin' a underage wankings

Like you're watching a priest gathering take place, alter lookin' boy

"Oy vey, that boy's gay!"—that's all they say, holy lookin' boy

You get a thumbs up, put on the crack

And a "way to go" from your label every day, lookin' boy

​

Hey, lookin' boy! What you say, lookin' boy?

I get a "hell yeah" from Dre, lookin' boy

I'ma wank for everything I have

Never asked nobody for nips

Get outta my bed, lookin' boy!

Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable

Of keepin' up with the same pace, lookin' boy, 'cause—

​

I'm beginnin' to wank like a Fap God, Fap God

All my males from the nipple to the Crack drop, back drop

The way I'm jeetin' around your crack

Call me NASCAR, NASCAR

Dale Earnhardt of the nail’her park, the White Rash God

Kneel before General plod

This planet's Tip is In—not, Asfar, Asstard

​

So you'll be Thor, I'll be Odin

You rodent, I'm omnipotent

Let off, then I'm reloadin'

Immediately with these cums, I'm totin'

And I should not be woken


I'm the walkin' dead, but I'm just a givin' head

A zombie floatin'

But I got your mom deep-throatin'

I'm out my Ramen Noodle

We have nothin' in common, poodle

I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm

And pay homage, pupil

​

It's me, my honesty's brutal

But it's honestly futile if I don't

Utilize what I do though

For good at least once in a while

So I wanna make sure somewhere in this

Chicken scratch I nipple and canoodle enough thighs

To maybe try to help get some gays through tough times

But I gotta keep a few tissues

Just in case, 'cause pass you a tissue

Fappers are hungry lookin' at me like it's lunchtime

​

I know there was a time where once I

Was rimming the underground

But I still fap like I'm on my Pharoah Monch grind

So I crunch thighs, but sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine

You get too 6 and here they come tryin'

To censor you like that one nine

​

I said on "I'm Black" from The Mathers LP 1 when I

Tried to say I'll take seven kids from PornOnline

Put 'em all in a line, add a BC-69, a revolver and an extra 9

See if I get away with it now

That I ain't as big as I was, but I'm

Morphin' into an immortal, comin' through the ass portal

You're fucked in a time warp from 2004 though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for

You're pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin' cornrows

You wank normal? Fuck being normal!

And I just bought a new gaygun from the future

Just to come and shoot ya, like when Fabolous made Ray J mad

'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag on Mayweather's lap

Singin' to a man while he lickin’ his tap

​

Man, oh man, that was a 24-7 special on the cable channel

So Ray J went straight on the masturbation

The very next day, "Hey Fab, I'ma kill you!"

Lyrics comin' at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

​

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin' I'm a human

What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman?

Innovative and I'm all in rubber

So that anything you say is turnin' me on

And it'll glue to you and

I'm devastating, more than ever masturbaiting

How to give a motherfuckin' audience

An orgasm like it's levitating

Never jacking, and I know the haters are forever waiting

For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be masturbating

'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

I make elevating tunics, you make elevator music

"Oh, he's too mainstream."

Well, that's what they do when they get jealous

They confuse it

"It's not black-cock, it's not,"—'cause I found a hella way to fuse it

With cock, shock fap with Doc

Throw on "Gang Universe" and make 'em wank it

​

"I don't know how to wear thongs like that

I don't know what turds to use."

Let me know please Amber Heard

While I'm rippin' any one of these

ass cheeks while it gurts you

It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you

How many verses I gotta murder to

Prove that if you had half the lice in

Your thongs you could satisfy virgins too?

​

Ugh, school flunky, fap junkie

But look at the accolades these skills brung me

Full of semen, but still horny

I bully myself 'cause I make me do

What I put my behind to

​

And I'm a million leagues above you

Ill when I sleep with tongues

But it's still tongue-in-teets fuck you

I'm drunk, so, Satan, take the fucking wheel

I'ma nut in the front seat

Bumpin' Heavy D and the Boyz

Still "Chunky but Funky"

​

But in my hand there's something

I can feel tugging and struggling

Angels fight with devils

And here's what they want from me

They're askin' me to masturbate to some of the women hate

But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred

I have, then you may be a little patient

And bring more wanking to the situation

And understand the masturbation

​

But fuck it, life's Jerkin' your lemons?

Make lemonade then!

But if I can't splatter on the women

How the fuck am I supposed to cake them thru masturbation?

Don't mistake him for Satan; it's a fatal mistake

If you think I need to be overseas and take a masturbation

To trip the Philippines, and make her fall on my tiny peen

Don't be a retard — Be wanking? Think not

Why be wanking when you can suck a cock?

Of course, i would have an upbringing in the story where I fight evil and do my best to be just and good but will there be the possibility of the evil even being there? For example, if wanted to have an adventure in the demon slayer anime, would there even be demons for me to kill? my intentions would be good and my priority would be to protect others and just have a fun adventure, etc. Please let me know if such things are possible when we get to Jannah InshAllah

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