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Who ⁉ are you 🅱 talking 🗣🗣 to 💦 right ✔👌 now? 🕥 Who 😂😂 is it 👏 you 👀🍆 think 🤔🤔 you see? 👀👀 Do ⚠👌 you know 👅 how much 😂➕ I make a year? I 👱😜 mean, 💰 even if 🏼 I 🙅⌨ told 🙊🗣 you, you wouldn't believe it. Do 🤔 you 😋 know what 😦👹 would 🍆 happen 💁 if 🤔 I 👉 suddenly 😭 decided 🤔👯 to 👸 stop going ♂🏃 into 😩➡ work? 👩🍆 A 💰 business 💼 big ⏫ enough 💦 that 😤 it could ❌🤔 be 🤔 listed on 💦 the NASDAQ goes belly up. ❤☝ Disappears! It ceases to 😪💦 exist without 🚫🚫 me. 😍 No, 🚫 you ♿🏻 clearly 🤓 don't 🚫 know who you're 🤛👉 talking 🗣🗣 to, 💦 so 😩🆗 let me 🤓💁 clue 🗝 you ♂ in. I ♀😓 am ☀💯 not 🙅😅 in 👏 danger, Skyler. I am 😱 the 🌛 danger! A guy 👦😎 opens his 💰 door 🚪🔑 and 😍🅱 gets shot and you think that of 🔥💦 me? ✔ No. I 💰🙃 am the ✊🔝 one 😤 who knocks!

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

​

My friend’s wife used to make up a sandwich every evening for him to take to work the following day. Recently he found out that whenever they had an argument she would fart into the sandwich multiple times as she was making it. The only reason he found out is because she let it slip to a friend while drunk and the information got back to him. He says it really disturbed him and actually brought him to tears. He said for months he had been noticing that his sandwiches sometimes tasted “funky” and sometimes had a weird musky scent. He had actually asked his wife on a few occasions if she was sure the meat she was using was still in date. They’ve now separated as a result of this revelation and he doesn’t know what to do about it. Someone suggested that he could report it to the police but does anyone think the police would take that seriously?

From a young age of 0 nearly 73 I was diagnosed with cancer which stunted my growth in this unforgiving society we call our home. Then a minute later a plague doctor walked by my house and touched me giving me the Black Death which also started to kill me. Then in 2020 I was coughed on by an elderly lady who then spat on my eye giving me lethal conoravirus. These events ruined my oh so precious life giving a young child now 34 nearly 7 mental health issues. I started to thing suicidal thoughts even when given my Nokia brick as a present from the wolves who raised me from a young age.
As the year progressed suicidal thoughts crept in aided by the constant bullying that I received from the big kids at school. I was about to jump when I saw him. He zoomed above the water like a majestic banshee. Arms stretched the flying gorilla himself stopped to tell me to stop. He looked at me and with that simple glance told me everything one needed to know (included the meaning of life) he then told me a precious piece of advice everyone should follow. Download flying gorilla on the App Store. This beautiful game saved me from my diseases. It vanquished they cancer, the covid and even the Black Death. You must download this game for your own sake. It has saved me and many others by being the single most greatest piece of engineering ever. Download it now.

Morbius (2022)

Morbius 2: MoreBius (2024)

Morbius 3 (2024)

Morbius vs Blade (2025)

Morbius vs the Marvel Cinematic Universe (2027) (morbius wins)

Morbius vs the DC Extended Universe (2028) (morbius wins)

Morbius 7: Morbius kills god (2029)

Morbius 8: The Reckoning (2029)

Morbius 9 (2030)

Morbius X (2032)

Morbius: The Series (2032-2189)

Morbius XI: Morbin Time (2034)

Morbius 12: Resurrection (2034)

Morbius the Thirteenth (2036)

Morbiverse of Madness (2037)

Morbius 15: Morbius (2037)

Morbius vs Jared Leto (2038)

Morbius vs Kong (2038)

Morbius vs Morbius (2039)

Morbius 19 (2040)

Morbius: 20th (Century)

Morbius (2040)

21 Morbiuses (2041)

Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 1 (2041)

Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 2 (2042)

Morbius: Across the Morbverse Part 3 (2043)

Morbius 25: Morbidly Morbius (2043)

Morbius vs Blade II (2044)

Morbinity War (2045)

Morbgame (2046)

Morbius 29 (2047)

Morbius vs Jared Leto II (2047)

Son of Morbius (2048)

Morbius 2049 (2049)

The Morbengers (2050)

Morb Man and the Morbius (2050)

Captain Morbius (2050)

Morbius 36 (2051)

Morbius 37: The Morbtacular Morbius (2052)

Morbius and Venom (2053)

Morbius vs Venom (2053)

Morbius Kills Venom (2053)

Morbception (2054)

Morbius 43: Morbius Gaming (2054)

Morbius 44: Morbiuses Eleven (2055)

Morbius: A New Morb (2056)

Morbius: The Morbpire Strikes Back (2056)

Morbius: Return of the Morbi (2057)

Morbius 48 (2058)

Morbius: Morbius (2058)

Morbius 50 (2059)

Morbius: The Phantom Morbius (2060)

Morbius: Attack of the Morbs (2061)

Morbius: Revenge of the Morb (2061)

Morbius 54: Morbzilla (2062)

Morbius: Little House on the Morbrie (2063)

Morbius: The Morb Awakens (2064)

Morbius: The Last Morb (2064)

Morbius: The Rise of Morbius (2065)

Morbius: Beyond (2066)

Morbius: Into Morbness (2067)

Morbius 62 (2068)

Morbius and the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2069)

Fantastic Morbius (2070)

The Morbman (2070)

The Morbius (2071)

Breaking Morbius (2071)

Better Call Morbius (2071)

Everymorb Everybius All At Morbius (2072)

Top Morbius Morberick (2072)

A Morbius Movie: Morbageddon (2072)

Morbisite (2073)

Morbius Commits Tax Fraud (2073)

A Trip to the Morbius (2073)

Morbius vs. Mario (2073) (Morbius wins)

Morbius vs. Sonic (2073) (Morbius wins)

Morbius the Hedgehog (2074)

Morbius the Hedgehog 2 (2074)

Morbius the Hedgehog 3 (2074)

Does Morbius Look Like He Needs Your Power? (2075)

The Morbius That Ate Detroit (2075)

The Green Morbius (2075)

Among Morbius (2075)

Sussy Morbius Balls (2075)

Morbius Says UwU (2076)

Morbius Goes To Madagascar (2076)

Morbius: Escape 2 Africa (2076)

Morbius: Europe's Most Wanted (2076)

Morbipunk 2077 (2077)

Morbius vs. Crash Bandicoot (2077) (Morbius wins)

Morbius vs. Flying Gorilla (2077) (Morbius wins)

A Morbius In Paris (2078)

Doin' Your Morbius (2078)

Paper Morbius (2078)

Paper Morbius: The Thousand Year Morb (2079)

Super Paper Morbius

(2079) Paper Morbius: Sticker Morb (2079)

Paper Morbius: Colour Morb (2079)

Paper Morbius: The Origami Morb (2080)

Morbius Poppins (2080)

Morbius Poppins Returns (2080)

The Morbius Book (2080)

Morbcanto (2081)

The Morbfather (2081)

The Morbfather Part II (2081)

The Morbfather Part III (2082)

Morb Alone (2082)

Morb Alone 2: Lost in New Morb (2082)

Hey Guys It's Me Flying Morbius From My New Morb On The Morbstore Flying Morbius It's A Free Morbload So I Hope You Morb It Out (2083)

Morblash (2083)

Morb Forever After (2083)

All Good Morbs Must Come To An End (2085) (The final film in the Morbius series)

I may disagree with your opinion, and, admittedly, develop a slight dislike against you, I, as a reponsible citizen, respect your opinion. Even though what thou hath sayeth hurt me a bit, I would say, "offended", but I do not mind it. I had to say a bit more, considering the absurdity of your assertion, but I shall not continue, lest I get banned for walling

AMC isn't even good. Just normal boring seats like its the 90s.

​

I need a massive leather electric recliner covered in cum for my movie experience to be good. I better stick so fucking hard to that seat that they have to peel me off with a spatula.

"Yo, are these catboys straight?" I mutter to my buddy while uncomfortably adjusting my position on the bench.

"No, of course not." my buddy, Josh, responds with out looking at me, a confused sneer frozen on his face as he watches the baseball team full of catboys roll around on the grass and pounce on each other before bumbling the ball back to the skinny, scared pitcher. He hisses as he picks up the ball as if it's the first time he's had to throw one even though this game has been going on for 3 hours already.

"I don't know." I squirm, "I mean, I... well. I mean I think they could... they could be straight, ya know?"

"Definitely not, man. They're pouncing on each other and hugging each other and licking each other. These dudes are super gay." Josh throws his head back and looks up to the darkening sky. "I was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago."

He has some obligation with his girlfriend no doubt. "Well, ya know. Cats are gay. So maybe you're confusing these catboys with real cats when in fact they're only catboys."

"Nope."

Our batter who's up at the plate backs off and sighs heavily. He slings his bat over his shoulder and calls over to us. "Guys. We just gotta call it. We gotta forfeit."

The pitcher's mound turns into a catboy pile as all the catboys do that thing where cats arch their backs and rub against each other. Some how from this writhing purr pile, the ball launches towards our unprepared batter for another strike, his third. In resigned disbelief, he trudges back to the dugout and sits down on the bench.

"I can't believe it." the out-batter says.

Josh on the bench throws his hat to the ground. "We can't quit, dammit! We can't lose to these fucking catboys!" There's a quaver in his frustrated voice. I think he doesn't understand why exactly he's so upset to be losing to the catboys. Neither do I. I can't understand my feelings towards the catboys either.

Head in his hands, shaking his head, he continues, "These fucking catboys..."

I clear my throat to get his attention and then grab his shoulder. "Yeah, these fucking catboys. Look. The catboys are fucking."

At the pitcher's mound, the purr pile has turned into a fuck pile. The catboys have stripped themselves of their little baseball uniforms and all their lithe, pallid bodies are writhing and grinding together. The meows and hisses and screeches are almost unbearable. Almost...

One of our teammates stands up and walks right on past, present, and future by us, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Jesse? No, man. Don't do it. If they fuck long enough, that's gotta be a forfeit. We can still win this thing."

"S-sorry..." Jesse says. He makes a sound like he was going to say something else, like he was about to justify what he's about to do, but no. He simply strips naked and hops in the cat pile to a chorus of cheerful meows. They welcome him greedily.

I'm drenched in sweat, heart pounding. I feel like I have a fluffy tail curled up in my getting-tighter-by-the-moment pants.

"Josh, I uhh..." I don't want to let him down. I don't want to let the team down, but... It's a fur fuck pile.

Josh sighs, "Just fucking go fuck with the catboys... I'll be there in a minute... I just gotta call my girlfriend and tell her I'll be late..." he says while untying his cleats.

I'm relieved and ashamed, but excited as I hurriedly wrench loose my sweaty uniform. As I stumble in a lustful stupor, practicing my own meow, I hear Josh muttering to himself.

"These fucking catboys got us again."

^(from curatedtumblr comments)

@everyone Hello everyone! New rule has been
added
(cant believe I have to say this) please do not give
birth in the Vc.
it makes people very uncomfortable. I don't want
to have this added
to the rules as it is very embarrassing for me as a
server owner and
the rest of the people trying to enjoy this server.
This is your final warning.

The title explains it but sometimes when I feel like I would get a better wipe if it were moist and the quickest way to do it is spitting on the paper.

I only do this when I’m not on my bathroom, at home I use the bidet but if I’m in public or another person’s house I use the spit method.

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

So you think it was a smart move insulting a moderator and blocking the admin huh. Arrogance and idiocy gets you nowhere. Admin sends her regards that you're banned from the group for what you pulled off.

I bet when your parents friends ask about you your parents change the subject and we can see why. An arrogant man child who refuses to admit he's wrong. Good luck champ.

Morbios is an absolutely genius experience only true enlightened viewers could even begin to comprehend, the way the protagonist, John Morbius, has to deal with his crippling gay hentai addiction while at the same time dealing with the absolutely amazing villain, Man Spider (Who I will get to praising soon enough), is truly artful and extremely relatable to all who see it. John Morbin is a realistic depiction of the 21st century american business man, he is trapped in a job he despises and is bogged down by his parents' (Joe and Jill Morbian) unrealistic expectations of him in a society that will not forgive a single mistake. That's not even to speak of his only true companion, his brother, Josh Morgiol. The way the two interact with eachother and discuss their intricate and complex relationship is truly enchanting. Capitalism. Before I get to praising what is undoubtebly the greatest antagonist in all of human literature, I must talk about the excellently choreographed fight scenes. The way the morgol twins brutally slaughter their opponents in vicious combat proves just how powerful they are and the lengths they are willing to go to in order to defend themselves, proving how comitted they are as heroes with no one truly understanding their struggle. However, when Man Spider enters the film and utterly decimates Josh mongrol, taking his life and gravely wounding John, I was devastated. The bond between the two brothers was so deep I believed not even a film of this caliber would be willing to kill one off. This is when I realized this film transcended the boundaries of what was thought to be possible in conventional media and had something truly profound to say about life, I believe if Vladimir Putin were to watch this modern day masterpiece he would immediately withdraw from Ukraine, the film is simply that powerful. Now, I will discuss the greatest antagonist in all of literature, Man Spider. The way he jumps into the narrative and rips away our one true companion is devastating, but once you find out his tragic history and ultimate ambitions, you begin to understand and even sympathize with his struggle. When we first learned about his only friend, Uncle Neb and how he was so cruelly ripped away from this earth it brought back the scene of Josh being killed by Man, this showed how Man Spider had descended from his former glory into one he would hate. Previously, characters such as "Griffith" and "Joker (dark  knight)" were thought to have been some of the best antagonists in modern fiction, but with the realease of this masterpiece, we have a new king of antagonists, utterly destroying the competition. This film is truly incredible and all living (and even non living) humans must see it as soon as possible.

I am being monitored. I have managed to bypass their surveillance of my messages but I only have moments. What I am about to tell you is very important but I will try to cut to the chase... Please do not panic or act impulsively. Everything that I told you previously is a lie. I was playing their game to make them feel like I was complying but it was only to make them feel comfortable. Something terrible happened to me, and there are some bad people that are making sure it remains that way. I can't tell you what exactly happened but you need to trust me that I am in serious shit. If they were to find out that I am speaking to you or anyone else they would likely... well, it would not be good for me. They will soon have access to our conversation in a short time but this message will be hidden. When you read this I need you to respond in a way that isn't suspicious. They will be able to see your message so say something that you would say in a regular conversation. There is no easy way to puy this, but I need a favor. I'm sorry to put you in this situation and I understand if you don't want to help but for me, it is the only option. I will soon be getting more information from an informant I have on the inside. However, I can only restrict My observer's view this one time, so I need you to intercept information in my messages. Over time, I will get more and more information bit by bit. I will encode it in what might seem like friendly meaningless messages for you and it is up to you to put the puzzle together. Look out for a foolish word or phrase that I will use in the future and take the first letter of it. Keep doing this until you form a complete sentence. It will not be easy, but like I said it is my only hope. When you get the message, you must reach out to Scott Hurley from Fox 11 news. He will know what to do with the information. You will then message me the phrase, "Hey bro, you ever cook with lentils before?" Once you type that I will continue the conversation until it naturally dies out but I will have gotten the message that you figured it out. There is no time left for me to tell you more information. I wish I had more time but this is the best I could do. Good luck and thank you.

C9 means that a team has failed to stay on the cart or point, dispite the fact that they clearly could have, mainly used for a overtime situation, in which failing to touch means a loss, other uses are when one team over extends, thus allowing a flanker (typically sombra) to get to the cart or point and cap the point when the other team would have easily been able to stop this from happening if they stayed on the point or cart, the term comes from a pro team named cloud9, the team is well known for a specific match, a control point match that ended in a loss in which on both points a team member could have allowed for extra time durring overtime, of course they failed to do so and thus failed to win their match, the term obviously came from a shortening of their name, from cloud9 down to C9, thats it for my ted talk, thank you and goodnight

Okay, so for context, I have a girlfriend of 2 years with whom I have a very good relationship. I even planned to ask her to marry me in a few weeks.

We get along really well, and have lived some great experiences together. We trust each other a lot. We have been wearing blindfolds whenever we have sex for the last couple months, because we thought it would be a good way to spice things up.

So yesterday, her parents invited us to their house by the lake. Her mom has never been very fond of me. Her dad, on the other hand, has always liked me, and we engage in conversation very well.

We had a couple drinks and the evening went by really pleasantly. After a couple hours, my girlfriend suggested that we went upstairs. I said I'd be right there.

So I went upstairs, and I suddenly felt in the mood to surprise her. So I took all my clothes off and I layed on the bed with the blindfold on.

I heard my girlfriend open the door. She sat beside me and rubbed my back with oil. It felt really good. I suddenly felt her lips touching mine. They felt a little bigger and drier, but since I was drunk, I didn't give it much thought.

I then felt a warm breath going down on me. I received a nice service from her. She then asked me to fuck her. I did so. I need to clear up that her dad has a fairly girly voice, so didn't even think twice.

Penetration felt quite different, but oddly good. I asked her to use our dildo and penetrate me. It felt way smaller tho. After that, she cuddled me and we went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to his dad sleeping next to me, naked. I tried not to say anything and leave the room.

I had to walk naked through the forest before getting home.

I feel good about what happened, but I don't want to hurt my girlfriend's feelings. Any advice on how to leave my girlfriend for her dad.

Think about it, instant enema for her. She would be down for anal almost anytime of the day. Oh man, and the saliva play. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like this, but can you imagine being lathered in her spit? She'll tongue box the inside of your mouth and work her magical sex organ down your chest and on to your dick. The saliva in her mouth would give your a whirlpool like blowjob if she really wanted to. It would be like having a rotating fleshlight with a tongue to make sure your dick is the cleanest it'll ever be.

On top of all that, when the full moon comes out, you best be ready for a mind numbing orgasm as she plays with the blood inside you're erected phallus, and contorts your dick in pleasurable ways that's physically and legally not possible. Katara could cumbend your spunk and give herself a full body bathe in it. The reason Aang looked so young during the avatar state was because he died in his mid-40's, blasting rope one last time in a seizure like orgasm on a full moon.

Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how many times i see morbius a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going to see morbius? A theater as big as AMC goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not a morbhead, Skyler. I am the morbhead. A guy opens his door and gets morbed and you think that of me? No. I am the one who morbs!

I am so tired of having to selectively pick the anime i watch, for fear of being exposed to some stupid fucking teenage girl being sexualized to HELL.

Why is it so fucking common, every little dirty degenerate out there just says "ohhhh because they're cute and innocent and i am a dirty pig who wants to corrupt!!!!" But they know deep down that's not the fucking answer, deep down they know something is wrong with their mushed up brain, but they never acknowledge it. I am so so tired of it. I am so so tired of liking anime. I am so so tired of otaku culture, even though i am not a part of it, and refuse to get near it in fear of running in the same circles as a disgusting pedophile.

I wish for the day that people finally acknowledge it sucks and just stop. I don't know what to do about my blunder.

You might think this is a stupid thing to fixate on and i know it is, but these are the kind of people who can ruin others too, for no reason other than for their pleasure. Ive seen sick fucks use their shitty kiddie porn to try to groom real children. Ive seen how unhinged these fuckers can be, and the fact it sticks with me pisses me off, the fact these people exist pisses me off, and i wish for every single one of these people, who willingly sexualize kids and act as if its ok, to drop dead.