Damn I wish my body looked like that. I would go to the beach and have a pal throw me a football, then I would catch it right beside some cute girls and start chatting with them while being a really nice guy but not too nice. Then I would invite them for a dip in the water. Then with some playful water fighting I would figure out which cutie wants my body the most. Then I would ask her if she wants to go for a walk. Then in a secluded area I would ask her if she wants to hear a secret? Then I would lean in like I'm going to whisper in her ear and I would kiss her neck instead. Then we would start making out hard in the grass and I would squeeze her boobs. But she is on her period so she stops me from fingering her. Then we get married and have kids and I get a dad bod and she dumps me because she is shallow and only loves me for my rock hard bod. The end. I could keep going but it spirals into a depressing situation.

Daddy’s 🧔 cummies, 💦 nice 😊 and yummy 😋

Thick 😫👌and gooey, feel like honey 🍯

That sweet 🍭 milk, 🥛 oh-so-tasty 🤤

Daddy, 🧔 Daddy, 🧔 please be hasty!💨

My tongue 👅 swirls 😛 round 🔁 and round 🔁

While Daddy 🧔 gives my ass 🍑 a great big pound 🤜💥

Over 😑 in the corner, wrapped 🎁 in chains ⛓

Mommy 👩 huddled over, screaming 😱 in pain 😪

“Shut up, bitch! 👩 Stay on the floor!”

Mommy 👩 sobbing 😭 louder, I 👧 call 🗣 her a whore

She reaches behind her 👩 for her gun 💀

While Daddy gropes 👋 and tickles 🤗 my sweet 🍬 buns 🍑

Puts the barrel 😛 between 👉👈 her teeth 👄

And Daddy’s 🧔 semen 💦 begins to seep ☔️

Gunpowder, blood, 💉 brains 🧠 and gore 😎

Mommy’s 👩 lifeless 👻 corpse slumps ⬇️ to the floor 😂

Cummies, 💦 cummies 💦 filling my throat

My pussy 🐱 is completely 😍 soaked 💦

But Daddy’s cock 🍆 just gets bigger 😳😲

Over near 😯 the drawers, he grabs the scissors ✂️

Cuts 🔪 a hole 🕳 in Mommy’s 👩 stomach

In her hand, 🤲 a gin and tonic 🍺

He 🧔 begins to unravel her strings of intestines 😝

“Look 👀 closely, you’ll learn 👨‍🏫 a lesson”

Ties a noose, 😔 rigs it tight 😫

“Sweetie, 👧 sweetie, 👧 no need to fight” 👊💥

Puts her 👩 guts 🤤 around 🔄 my neck

“Looks like everything’s good 👍 and set” 👌

Lets me fall down ⬇️ about 🤔💭 a yard

Face 👧 turning blue, choking 🤭 hard 💪

All the while, 🕑 Daddy’s 🧔 stroking his cock 🍆

And for a moment, 😳 our eyes 👁 lock 🔒

Tears 😭 of joy 😊 stream down my face 👧

I’m going to 😵 a better ✨ place~

TL;DR - Plumbing work meant the loo was out of order, no alternatives were about and panic got the better of me

Throwaway account, you can guess why.

For some context, me and my wife have been married since last year and moved in together and got a dog a couple months after, a Labrador we got from the pet shelter as an abandoned pet when she was 2 years old.

We recently decided that we'd do a remodel of the bathroom after we both got our bonuses at the end of the tax year last month and ended up with a fair bit of spare money from it. The old bathroom didn't look nice, had a horrible bathtub and a moldy toilet from the previous owners of the house not maintaining it properly. To do this remodel, we enlisted the help of some tradespeople we'd found online - an independent plumber, a plasterboarder and an electrician for the lights and new shower.

Things were going smoothly until the last thing that needed to be installed - the toilet - was getting prepped to be installed. The plumber seemed to not have the right socket to bolt it to the floor and so it remained unusable while he went back home to go find a socket that might fit (all we had on hand were basic screwdrivers and drills for mounting shelves and building furniture). Usually in this situation we'd ask the neighbors if we could use their toilet if need be, but they were on holiday at the time and didn't really know anyone else on our street well enough to ask them, so we decided we'd risk it.
My wife left the house to go get some shopping and left me at home with the dog.

Here's what happened: this was after lunchtime, and we'd had some spicy vindaloo ready meals my wife bought on reduced the day before, and had them for lunch since neither of us felt like cooking at the time. My stomach doesn't react nicely to spicy food, and usually causes me to have diarrhea for the rest of the day.

Soon after my wife left, I started to need a shit. "No big deal" I thought, "the plumber will be back soon and I can test the new loo". 10 minutes pass, no one is home. At this point it's getting a bit bad, but I decide to distract myself by firing up my Xbox in the front room to see if games can take my mind off of it with the dog in the room with me. 15 more minutes pass, no sign of anyone. At this point, I'm practically about to burst, but if I shat myself I didn't think I could really look my wife in the eye again.

So I made the worst decision in the name of quick relief there could ever be.

I pulled my trousers and underwear down, and squatted on the floor, intending to poop in a dog poo bag so I could tie it up and throw it away. The issue is, it's really hard to aim where your shit goes since you can't really see it.

I realised my mistake when I couldn't feel the weight of the bag getting heavier and I just heard little "sploot" sounds as my feaces fell onto the carpet of the front room.

I looked at the pile in horror, realising the gargantuan fuckup I just made, getting worse as a text appeared on my phone that read "I'm on my way back xxx" from my wife.

I quickly ran to the kitchen to grab something to wipe my arse with (I chose some plenty kitchen roll) and disposed of the soiled paper in the outside bin in the back garden.

As I walked back through the back door, I heard the front door close followed closely by a loud shriek soonafter.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

I popped my head into the front room and asked what's wrong - "Well the dog's shat on the carpet!"

I replied with "I've been in the kitchen cleaning, so she must've done it while I was in there, seems like she still hasn't gotten rid of the runs" (she'd had a bad stomach for a couple of days after managing to steal some food off one of our plates)

We cleaned the dog's (my) turd up, and my wife didn't let the dog sleep with us that night like we usually do in case she did it again.

I feel guilty for blaming the dog, but I'm happy she took one for the team on this one.

Clearly you don’t understand.

His Nietzschean anti foundationalism is manifesting as a Hegelian dialectic on the nature of beauty in direct conflict with the anti state Mob that’s demonstrated in the Platonic treatise on the individual’s relation and duty to the state.

It’s manifesting as a societal metamyth, a foundational truth juxtaposing the relation of beauty and DESIRABILITY. You see?

Dr Peterson is going into the belly of the whale to extract society’s FATHER.

Do you see?

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠇⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣮⣭⣿⡻⣽⣒⠀⣤⣜⣭⠐⢐⣒⠢⢰⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⠂⢈⢿⣷⣞⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⣿⠗⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠉⠑⠀⠀⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠴⠶⠀⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣴⠁⢘⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⠗⠂⠄⠀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡃⠀⠉⠉⠟⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠾⠛⠂⢹⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⢿

is there anything like a book fetish?

everytime I study i always get wet. do i have a book fetish or something. my friend noticed that i moan sometimes while studying. what is it?

I REFUSE to get the joke.

Do you think Spartans ''got the joke?''

Do you think men on the Titanic ''got the joke?''

Life is WAR. Not a joke.

''Lol'' is for the weak.

''Lmao'' is for gamers.

''Rofl'' is for SIMPS.

Real men DON'T LAUGH.

Real men DON'T SMILE.

These are all signs of submission.

Avoid them at ALL COSTS.

Okay, so for context, I have a girlfriend of 2 years with whom I have a very good relationship. I even planned to ask her to marry me in a few weeks.

We get along really well, and have lived some great experiences together. We trust each other a lot. We have been wearing blindfolds whenever we have sex for the last couple months, because we thought it would be a good way to spice things up.

So yesterday, her parents invited us to their house by the lake. Her mom has never been very fond of me. Her dad, on the other hand, has always liked me, and we engage in conversation very well.

We had a couple drinks and the evening went by really pleasantly. After a couple hours, my girlfriend suggested that we went upstairs. I said I’d be right there.

So I went upstairs, and I suddenly felt in the mood to surprise her. So I took all my clothes off and I layed on the bed with the blindfold on.

I heard my girlfriend open the door. She sat beside me and rubbed my back with oil. It felt really good. I suddenly felt her lips touching mine. They felt a little bigger and drier, but since I was drunk, I didn’t give it much thought.

I then felt a warm breath going down on me. I received a nice service from her. She then asked me to fuck her. I did so. I need to clear up that her dad has a fairly girly voice, so I didn’t even think twice.

Penetration felt quite different, but oddly good. I asked her to use our dildo and penetrate me. It felt way smaller tho. After that, she cuddled me and we went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to his dad sleeping next to me, naked. I tried not to say anything and leave the room.

I had to walk naked through the forest before getting home.

I feel good about what happened, but I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend’s feelings. Any advice on how to leave my girlfriend for her dad.

@everyone Hello everyone! New rule has been added
(cant believe I have to say this) please do not give birth in the vc.
it makes people very uncomfortable. I don't want to have this added
to the rules as it is very embarrassing for me as a server owner and
the rest of the people trying to enjoy this server.
This is your final warning.

🦃 e 🥃 gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu gulu

Can you imagine the crazy ass abilities Katara had as a water bender? I'm not talking about fighting, I'm talking about sex.

Think about it, instant enema for her. She would be down for anal almost anytime of the day. Oh man, and the saliva play. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like this, but can you imagine being lathered in her spit? She'll tongue box the inside of your mouth and work her magical sex organ down your chest and on to your dick. The saliva in her mouth would give your a whirlpool like blowjob if she really wanted to. It would be like having a rotating fleshlight with a tongue to make sure your dick is the cleanest it'll ever be.

On top of all that, when the full moon comes out, you best be ready for a mind numbing orgasm as she plays with the blood inside you're erected phallus, and contorts your dick in pleasurable ways that's physically and legally not possible. Katara could cumbend your spunk and give herself a full body bathe in it. The reason Aang looked so young during the avatar state was because he died in his mid-40's, blasting rope one last time in a seizure like orgasm on a full moon.

Can you imagine the crazy ass abilities Katara had as a water bender? I'm not talking about fighting, I'm talking about sex.

Think about it, instant enema for her. She would be down for anal almost anytime of the day. Oh man, and the saliva play. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like this, but can you imagine being lathered in her spit? She'll tongue box the inside of your mouth and work her magical sex organ down your chest and on to your dick. The saliva in her mouth would give your a whirlpool like blowjob if she really wanted to. It would be like having a rotating fleshlight with a tongue to make sure your dick is the cleanest it'll ever be.

On top of all that, when the full moon comes out, you best be ready for a mind numbing orgasm as she plays with the blood inside you're erected phallus, and contorts your dick in pleasurable ways that's physically and legally not possible. Katara could cumbend your spunk and give herself a full body bathe in it. The reason Aang looked so young during the avatar state was because he died in his mid-40's, blasting rope one last time in a seizure like orgasm on a full moon.

So this is awkward. My brother (28m) and I (25f) were drinking together a couple weekends ago and he told me this story about this subreddit where a girl made a bet with her brother and the more upvotes she got the more the more physical she would go with her brother. I like challenges and I'm a bit quirky so it was intriguing. He had asked me if I would ever do anything like that and my first answer was no (I am not into incest). But he set the seed and I kept thinking of it. He then asked again about it and uped the offer that if I tried making the bet, no matter the outcome then he will pay me for it (a very nice amount). I sat on the idea and realized I could really use the money so I agreed. We agreed on a voting structure and time frame.

Prizes won: kiss me, see me naked, touch my tits, watch me masturbate, touch my pussy, give him a hj, give him a bj, have sex, face reveal, anal, underwear pic, public makeout (we will start being a couple and kissing in public).

Prizes not won:
9000- ten people will receive pic of us having sex
10000- public nude pic

Sorry boys! Post didn't meet the 9k goal by the beginning of the new month.

I posted an update on my profile on what happened with my brother and removed some older posts to reduce clutter. Follow my profile to stay updated on our journey.

I added an Ask Me Anything post on my profile.

Ps among us

one copy of morbius on 4k blu ray costs $40 australian dollars on amazon. times that by 99,999,999,999,999 and you get 4e+15. now that's a lot of morbius, with free shipping according to amazon. and if we take into account the volume of a standard blu ray case, as well as the volume of a truck, we find out that it would take approximately 319 million trucks to escort all of that morbius. the movie's run time is 104 minutes. times that by 99,999,999,999,999 and you get 1.04e+16, which is the amount of time it takes to watch all of that morbin' goodness.

Can you imagine the crazy ass abilities Katara had as a water bender? I'm not talking about fighting, l'm talking about sex.


Think about it, instant enema for her. She would be down for anal almost anytime of the day. Oh man, and the saliva play. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like this, but can you imagine being lathered in her spit? She'll tongue box the inside of your mouth and work her magical sex organ down your chest and on to your dick. The saliva in her mouth would give your a whirlpool like blowjob if she really wanted to. It would be like having a rotating fleshlight with a tongue to make sure your dick is the cleanest it'll ever be. On top of all that, when the full moon comes out, you best be ready for a mind numbing orgasm as she plays with the blood inside you're erected phallus, and contorts your dick in pleasurable ways that's physically and legally not possible. Katara could cumbend your spunk and give herself a ful body bathe in it. The reason Aang looked so young during the avatar state was because he died in his mid-40's, blasting rope one last time in a seizure like orgasm on a full moon.

You think that’s crazy?
In 1987 Hulk Hogan body slammed the 950 pound Andre The Giant in front of almost a million people at the Silverdome in Pontiac, Michigan.
There was no predetermined finish for the match and Hulkster went out there not knowing what was going to happen.
It was the first time Andre had ever been picked up and slammed. The Hulkster tore every muscle in his back and broken 9 of his own teeth but went on to hand Andre his first defeat in 75 years.
6 days after the ‘bodyslam heard around the world’ Andre would pass away from injuries sustained in the match dubbed ‘the irresistible force meets the immovable object’….
Hulkamania would go on to live forever!

Porn, masturbation, sex, those were all off limits to even talk about in my house. It gave me personality issues into my 30s. I swore that sexuality would be 100% open and honest in my house.

My daughter and wife have both walked in on me jerking it to porn, which is their equivalent to a Thursday night.

It was late, I was tired, I just wanted to watch some titties, cum and go to bed. I went into the basement living room, but my daughter was there trying to rub one out to some animated shit.

I'll admit. I was being an ass, and I told her to "turn that shit off and go finish in her room."

We got into a bit of a fight over it. So ... I did what any father would do when he doesn't want his kids doing something...I joined her. (On the far side of the couch).

To her credit, she didn't flinch, and kept rubbing under her blanket.

I made fun of her cartoon porn. She told me my tastes weren't any better. I changed it to anal. She used her phone to change it to lesbian. I changed it to bondage, then she changed it to pure taboo ...

I seriously doubt she planned this, but the top video just happened to be daddy-daughter.

Won't lie... It was really awkward for about 30 seconds in complete silence.

Then she pushed play.

Now, yes. I did say we were open about this stuff, but it's not like I'm living in the fucking playboy mansion. 99% of the time we keep it private... Just open.

She was covered.. tank top on, blanket covering her bottom half...

I started with my hand down my pants. I'm pretty sure she was playing a game of chicken with me. She picked the wrong guy to play with.

As the movie went on and the first few "daddies", came out, I undid my belt, and whipped it out.

I was fairly certain she was going to roll her eyes and leave. Instead she spread wider (still covered), and started playing with her tits. She looked over and smiled. Not in a sexy way, but a "fuck you I was here first", way.

After about 10 minutes, I lost my pants completely, closed my eyes and got lost in the feeling.

I damn near blew my load when I finally looked up. She was on top of her blanket, legs spread, top off, and eyes closed, rubbing the hell out of her pussy.

I grunted. She opened her eyes, smiled, and asked if Mom was home. We both laughed at the thought of being caught.. nervous laugh.

When I said no, she closed her eyes again, and started moaning.

As I'm sure you've all witnessed a girl masturbate, I'll skip that part and go right to realizing how beautifully my little princess cums.

Omg.... The way her legs shook. The way she bit her lip. Her chest, the pinkish hue appearing on her pale skin. One of the best orgasms I've ever witnessed.

When she came down, I asked her to toss me the box of tissues. She stood, then walked behind the couch and dropped them in my lap.

For a second I thought she was gone, then... Way too close to my ear, she asked if she could watch.

I knew I shouldn't... In fact, I'm currently regretting it, but I just nodded. I figured if I was acting naughty, I might as well give her a show.

I jerked as hard as I could... And didn't use the tissues. I let it fountain up and onto myself.

She just giggled, asked if it was always that messy, then went to her room.

I'm 100% regretting it, and 100% going to try and do it again.

I want a mommy 4'11 submissive tomboy with giant breasts that's also a demon to crush me using 100 thousands square cubic tones of pure metal lead until i cant feel my legs. After i'm paralyzed for life she'll drag me and feed me and help me pee and I wont be able to say a word and then she'll whisper "who's been a bad boy?" in that sexy fucking voice and i'll get a giant massive throbbing














headache
and my head will hurt so bad I will shit myself and she'll have to clean it then i'll fucking cry because im paralized and then the cancer fundation will come and my wish of being on tv will come true. While on tv i'll just be like stepehm hawkimgs in a goofy ahh chair with a siri robotic voice and say "Exterminate" im the doctor who voice then everyone will get up and clap and i'll shoot the producer with the jerrico 9 mm in my right pocket. Plot twist I was never paralyzed I was only pretending. Then i'll go out and burn the studio like the Jomer from the 1018 movie The Jomer. I'll take my mommy gf and break her legs and take her on my ferrari branded ferrari horse as we ride into the sunset and she fucking cries of pain cause she has no legs now 😎
(we had lots of sex :)




That's what I want in real lifr 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Can anyone help??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

Ok, so ever since I was born I had a very... unconventional view of the world. For some reason my face is located way lower on my body than that of most people. And it's not like I'm just really short, my torso is actually above where my eyes are at. If that wasn't wack enough my face is actually on the backside of my body instead of the frontside, which is completely fucking nuts and the doctors still have no idea how that happened. I also have a very weirdly shaped mouth, it goes horizontally instead of vertically and is shaped like a crack in comparison to most people's mouths. My face is very fat too and my cheeks account for the entirety of my face. Also for some reason whenever I'm using the toilet I can see into the toilet from where my face is and whenever I do this I have to open my mouth and shit comes out of it. Whenever I wear pants I can't see because the underwear blocks my vision and I always smell these nasty fart out of my mouth.

So I must ask you, reddit, am I the asshole?