I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I’ve been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonalds I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger. I don’t even care if it’s in public, blowing that cheeseburgers meaty goodness out the other side is what gives me hope.

rEpOst! RePoSt! This is the repost police! We either don't have a life or take things so seriously that we barrage people on the internet about karma farming. Wait til we... um... I didn't think we'd get this far um.. boys! Load him in the bac-- wait we can't arrest a virtual person! Dammit! Wait what if we dox-- no that's against the TOS and is illegal (I think?).. um... what if we reported them--- no? Nobody takes reports for farming seriously? Damn well uh consider yourself lucky this time punk! We're everywhere! We'll keep on commenting on your po-- wait that would be harassment! We can't even do that! DAMMIT!

Son. I care about you a lot. When I see you in your bed, all I think about is how your mother and I are going to make sure that you have a happy, safe life ahead of you. Where you'll be loved, appreciated and valued for who you are.

But son, if you're going to be a little shit who tries to interrupt when your mother and I are taking the train to pound town. Then dearest son, you're going to catch your mother begging to have her ticket stamped extra hard by conductor dad. Sorry, not sorry. That's just a memory you're going to have to live with if you open that door! We're redecorating your old room, buddy!

Oh, do you suddenly need help getting to the bathroom? Right this exact moment? When you never ever want it otherwise? Too bad, come back when you've tried eating batteries again. Oh, and does the widdle pwince now need a silence as deep as the infinity of space or else he can't go sleepy sleep? Deal with it. Life has sound and this house has vibrations. Eventually you'll get headphones if you need them.

I love you buddy but your mother and I aren't going to be celibate for you. Your mother might choke a bitch at work if we did. Make no mistake, mommy tolerated it for the period after you were born because she was in too much pain and exhausted, but when daddy hesitated for too long because he worried about her condition he got jumped by a feral mommy. Mommy is the sweetest person you'll ever meet and if that's the only side you want to see of her you won't open our fucking door.

So fuck you. Love you. Keep the fucking door closed.

Scary Fact:

If you go to Budapest and shout "I am Polish" scary creatures known as "hungarians" will appear and suck you dick/

Brace yourselves - the most privileged people in America openly supported by every major corporation, sports league, Hollywood, academia, corporate media outlet, bank, social media company, and federal government agency are about to scream about how ‘oppressed’ they are for 30 days straight while they freely parade around in leather bondage suits in front of masked children to the standing ovation of thousands of miserable 55-year-old childless teachers and 26 y/o male feminists in medium-sized [\#ImWithHer](https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/imwithher/) t-shirts trying to hook-up with the 22 y/o pansexual Starbucks barista in a purple beanie and forearm tattoos with they/them/her pronouns listed on her apron next to (but not above) her BLM button that just graduated from SUNY-Oswego with a gender studies degree demanding the patriarchy pay off her $250k in student loans so she can afford to pay for her vegan cat’s late-term kitten abortion

I care + I asked + smile about it + stay glad + W + mald seeth cope less + not basic + skill + rational + you fell up + no audacity + triggeredn’t + you got a life + ok :) + not cringe + touched grass ✅ + funny + laughed + grammar good + based + your good + not reported + GG 👍 + you're real + big WIN + girls glad + complex + skill ability + positive ratio + on the pedestal + that's a given + I asked, thanks for answering + bluepilled + VERY based + you're a unique and special human being (insert positive stereotype) + so funny I laughed a lot + grammar is spotless + go inside and rest + you need a break from success + get even better + praised + GG! can we have rematch? + aww darn it was worth a try + we'll ask you for advice + clapping and applause + lots of cash + I am glad that you stuck by me + keep things going + I <3 you! + good ratio again + 100% best ratio + stay confident keep going champ + good person + gave you a shoutout + rockin' it + champion of :))) + doing swell + stay free + freer than air + wow cool + big\_smile + happy cuz ur good + lol + relevant + top non-pnghackers + nice + i'm almost jealous + while I don't have the skills, but made a good try! + the winner + great score + a knight of goodwill + you're on a top game + thanks for helping my teacher + go ahead, brag about it, you deserve to + your victory + I care + BIG W 💅+ have a nice day + sounds good to me ;) + glhf + you were a role model + you brought back my faith + remarkable + staked the claim + i made great improvement + user base + I hope you can get my number + i want to + fighting! + I need it + cool and good + I don't need it + omg + honest + honorable + \[lowercase gg\]+ \[undefined\].+ pythagoras + a life + \[uppercase GG\]+ I think your plan points true + looks like you care too + given i've been humbled + do gooder + good doer + u know what youre doing + excellent + ILY!!! + i hope you want to do me + victory of the truth + skill practically godlike + change + devious lick + man of quality + you and i both + not ran + awesome and amazing + 💯 + did a marvelous + very motivational + effortlessly inspiring + steady valour + keep calm and carry on + success of the tards + we are all champions + top bloke + warrior + really really good guy + tough + studied hard + flamboyant + long term + terrific + very valuable + time and money + very cool + what a great update / forever <3 + ps - i didnt think of wearing my hair like that + guru + why didn't you stop me? + stood up for what's right + i wanna be you + you're my hero + feel pretty + yooo + uh oh, things are good? + modest & probably smart + good right there = bad right here? + just kidding ;p + positive + LOL + you got this babe + not quite as clever as you + came to my senses + came + you're from a good family + you're in the best country + i hope that it will continue + king, without needing a crown + waited for your time + time well spent + LOVED + have self-confidence + aftereffect + contribution, about time! + was a bit too early to judge + its true youre good at math + but some will never acknowledge that + closest companion + aww. I gtg, but have a nice day!

WOMEN OF REDDIT,

How much sex do you have? What I am wondering if do you have sexy sex? As a fellow epic reddito I would like to inquire a question on perhaps the idea that perhaps maybe you enjoy sexual intercourse of the boob variety with fellow epic redditors that also like sex with big boobs?????

Also epic women of Reddit, how much epic sex do you have with boobs of Reddit? Women do you Women of Reddit? How many Big Chungus sex do you have women of Reddit? Women of Reddit, are you also Women? Perhaps maybe even have sex with other women and women of Reddit?

Also, fellow women of reddit do you have giant milkers?????? Big jiggly milkies? Fat mommy milky mocha momos? Excuse my up frontness. Please answer why or why not or maybe big boobs? Spaghetti?

Women of the internet website known as Reddit .com, what do you find attractive in men that are also me? Would you give me a blowjob, women of Reddit? Reddit, would you have sex with me? Women what is your favorite blowjob position? Men of Reddit, do you like getting blowjobs? Why or why not?

Women of Reddit, do you have BIG BOOBS???? Women of Reddit will you have sex with men that have big boobs? Why or why not or why yes? Women that are women of Reddit, if given a chance to use your ENORMOUS BIG BOBOS to have sex with men of reddit, would you? Perhaps maybe even have sex?

Sexy women of Reddit, is this an epic reddit women moment? Would you have sex if you were given the chance to have sex? And what if the snail was locked in a box under the ocean, but if the snail touches you you die but also have sex?? you were given a million dollars to have sex with me?? Reddit of Reddit, would you have sex with the decoy snail that is also boobs???

Women with three million dollars, if you were given a super power to have sex with me would you have sex with epic reddit? Women with giant jugs of Reddit, if you were given a billion dollars and also a ham sandwich, would you have sex with me and fellow epic women of Reddit?? What villain was actually the hero of the story?

Men of Reddit, if you were given a billion dollars would you get a blowjob from a woman with big boobs that is of Reddit? What if I choose to also have sex with this guy's dead wife that also has big dead boobs? Why? Women are boobs.

What villain actually had huge boobs and was a woman? Men of Reddit would you be a women of Reddit? Women of Reddit, will you be??? Fellow women of reddit

women

I AM GAY

i am gay. very GAY at that. i am so homosexual. so fruity. i am so gae. i like dick up my ass. i am hella homosexual.

internalized homophobia can suck my dick.

this felt good and i am gay thanks

EDIT: woke up gay today. i am so happy

EDIT 2: on a more serious note, it has been so lonely and mentally draining being in the closet for all my life. i am so happy that so many (gae and not so gae) internet strangers appreciate me finally coming out of it and showing myself so unapologetically. today is such a good day. if i'm being honest, i can see the sky smiling too

From r/offmychest

the ball sweat will cause the highly concentrated acid to dissasociate completely into your ball sweat, enabling the sulphuric acid to form highly ionising hyrogen ions that cause acid burns and irrevocably serious cell damage, the ions oxidise your cells breaking down them and releasing chemicals that react with the h+ and so4- ions that cause chemical burns along side the release of water from body cells that dehydrates you and further allows more h+ ions to dissociate but also increases the ph more but more importantly your ball cells will rupture and die immidiately as the ball cell moisture is ripped from them. the whole reaction is highly exothermic, scalding your balls but also since ball cells are incredibly flammable your balls also erupt in flames resulting in chemically burnt ravaged swollen scalded balls. this is why you should dip your balls in sulphuric acid

WOW! YOU OWN A GUN IN THE UNITED STATES!? HOW COOL AND UNIQUE, PLEASE POST PICTURES OF YOUR FIREARMS BECAUSE I AM A BIG FALLOUT NEW VEGAS FAN

BIG IRON LMAO!! GET IT!?! LIKE THE SONG IN THE GAME “BIG IRON” I LOVE THAT ONE.MY BIG IRON IS A AK-47 MY GRANADPA HAS A 1911 BIG IRON EVERY GUN IS A BIG IRON HAHAHAHAHAHA

ISN’T THIS COOL! WE SHOULD ALL POST THE SAME STUPID UNRELATED PICTURES OF OUR GUNS IN A FALLOUT GROUP LIKE THERE ARENT A MILLIO. OTHER PLACES TO DO IT NIG IRON AHAHAHAB

GACTAGTGATTATCGAGTATGGAGTTAAAAAAAAAAAATGTATATTATGTTTTTCTTTTTTTGAT
ATATGTATTTTTGTTCAATCAAGCCCACCGACTCCCTGACCAATTCTGCATCTTCTTTTTGTTT
ATACATGATTACGTCTTTATTCTTCAGTTCCTCAGTTCATATTCCGCTCTTCCTCCTAGTTTCT
CCTCCTTAAATCTCAAAAAATCCAAATTTTTGGGGAAAATTTTGTTGGGTTTTCAATTTTGTCT
CTAATTTTCAGAATTTTCTTCTACTTTCATTGATGCCTACTTTGTTTTGAATACTTATTAACGTC
TACTTGAGCTCTTACATTTTGTATGGTTGTATCTGAAATTTTTTTTGCCTCCGGCTAAATTTGA
AGCCCACCCCATATCGAAATCTAAGATCCGCCACTGGTGCTATTTGAGATCGTTGGTTCAAAT
CCATCGAAGACTCTCGATGATGTCCGCATTTTTCATTCATCATTAGAGAATTGTCCGTGTAAT
TTGTGAGTTGTGACCGTGTACCTAGCTAACTCGTTTTGGTTACAAACTTCACTTGGATGGTTT
GACTGAATTGAGACTATTATGACAGTTAAGGTTACCTTCAATAATGCCTTGGCCTTGCATGAA
GGGAAAGAGACCATGAAACAGCGAATCCCCAACTGGCTTAGAATTTACTTAGTTTAACACTG
ATTGAAAATCAAGGCACAAACCAACTGCCACCGAGATTTTCAAAATCAAAGTCGCAACAATTG
CATCTTCATGGAAACTTCCCCAGAAATTCAAGAACAAAAAGTCCTACGCTTATTTTAATTATCA
GAGCCATCTGAACAGAACCTCATCCCTAACATCTATAAATAACATTCAGGAAGTTGTATTCTC
ATCCAACTACAAAACTATTCAGTGCATCATCAACAAGTTCCCAAAGCACTTGACCATTTAGCT
AGCTCCTCTTTCCCCTTCTTTGTAGAATTCTCATTGCACTAAAGGTTAGATCTTTGAGGCACAT
TACAAGAACAA
• ATGGCGATTCACTTTGAGCAACCAACAGCAACTGTTGTCTAAGATAGCAACCGGTACCGGAGACAGCGAAAA
CACTCCATATTTTGATGGCTGGAAGGCCTTTGATAGTGATCCTTACCATCCCACCACCAACCCTCAAGGGGTT
ATTCAGATGGGTCTTGCAGAAAATCAA
• gtaagaaatttgaaaccagaaaccttgtattacaagcaacatatcatctcttggcttttcactaattggtttcttctgtatgcag
• CTTTCTTTTGATTTGATCCAAGAATGGGTTCTGAAAAACCCAGAAGCCTCCATTTGCACAGCACAAGGAGCAAAAGAATTCAAGGACACAGCCATCTTTCAAGACTATCA
TGGCTTGCCAGAGTTCAGAAATGAT
• gtcattgatcaacatccataaaactttcttagcatcacttgtttaactcactacacaatcttaacgaaataactttagtccaatattaatttaacaaaatttaattattttctttgaaacttccacag
• GCTGTTGCAAATTTCATGGGAAAAGTGAGAGGAAATCGAGTCACATTCAACCCTGACCGCATTGTTATGAGCGGAGGCGCAACCGGAGCTCATGaAGATGATTGCCTTT
TGCTTGGCTtGATCCCGGAGAGGGATTTCTGGTGCCAGTTCCTTATTATCCAG
• gtactaagctagctgattaagtttatctttctaagattgactttgatccaactaagacaggaaaaactaaactaattgaggccagttgcctaaaattatatgagaaattagcaatatgaaagagactgagttgacccttagtttaatgccatccctatgtgt
ccttggaccagcttgaattattgacgggggaatgaaaacgatctttgtatactaattgccatcatctacctcttttgacaaagatgaaagatgcctcaggaaaattaggaccatttgtgacttgttcatctaaaacgacattacgtacgtaacttcatatagt
agctagctaactgcaccaaatacgtccctagttctcgacgaaggattccatgcttagtagtagaatagaatttattcataaccgttgatatattttccatgggttgctttgctaaataagtttttgtacttcattgcaag
• ATTCGATAGaAGATTTGAGATGGCGAACTGGGGTACAGCTTCTTCCAGTAgCTTGTGAAAGCTCaAACAATTTCAAGATCACGAGAGCAGCCTTGGAAGATGCCTATGA
GAAAGCACAAAAGGCCAACATCAGAGTTAAAGGCTTGATCATTACCAACCCCTCAAACCCACTAGGCACAATCCTAGACAGAGAGACTCTTAAGAGCTTAGtGaCTTTCA
TCaATGAGAAGAACATCCACCTAGTCTGTGATGAGATCTATGCTGCCACTGTGTTCACTCAGCCTAGGTTCATCAGCATTGCTGAAATACTGGAGGAAGAAGATGTAGT
ATGCAACCGCGACCTGGTTCACATTGTCTACAGTCTTTCCAAAGACATGGGGTTCCCTGGCTTTAGGGTAAGGAATACGCGCACTCATTACAATGATGCCGTAAGTGGA
CTGCGCGCCGAAAAGATGTCGAGGTCTTCGGGTTGGGTTTCTACGCAAACTCAGTGTCTAATTGCATCCATGCTATCAGACAATGAGTTTGTGGATAGATTCATTGTAG
AAAGTGCTAAGAGGTTGGAAGCAAGGCACACAAAATTCACTGAGGGACTTGAGGAACAAGGTACTACTTGTTTGAAGAGCAATGGTGGCTTGTTTGTGTGGATGGACT
TGCACAAACATCTAAAGGAGCAGACTTTTGAAGCAGAAATGGCATTGTGGAGAACCATAATCAATATAGTTAAGCTCAATGTGTCACCTGGTGTTTCTTTTCATTGCCCC
CAACCAGGTTGGTTCAGGGTTTGCTTTGCCAACATGGATGCCCAGCCCATGGAAGTTGCTTTGGAAAGAATCAGAAACTTTGTGCTTCAAGACAAGGAGGCAGCTGTG
GTCGCAATGAAGAAGAAGAAGAACTGCTGGCAAAGTAAGAAGCTGAGTCTCAGCTTCAATCATCGAAGATTCGATGAGGTCAACATGTCACCGCATTCCCCTATTCCTCA
GTCACCTCTTGTTCGAGCCACTTAGagaagtgatgatcatctccatttagttatgcagctagaatcattgatactcatgttttctcttaattagttcctatatttcaatactctaggttaattgttagctaaaataa
cacaaaaaagaactaagactaggtatgccccctaattggaagctagtcaatacatgcaatgttttcttacctgcagattgcaggtttttttctttttccgattcagtggaatagtttgtcttagtttgtaatgatttctcatcgaagtttc
ccatcaaagagttttgagtgctttc

I love harassing couples at the movies. Last week I noticed a couple had gone to see the new doctor strange movie so I walked up and sat next to them in the mostly empty theatre, they looked weirded out but didn’t say anything . Then during the scene where doctor strange fights the octopus monster I began to masturbate loudly in front of them. It took them a second to process it but when they did the boyfriend began to beat the shit out of me. My blood covered their popcorn, “fuck you perv” the boyfriend yelled at me as he continued to hit me. But all I did was laugh knowing I had successfully done a little bit of trolling 😈

I wish clown girls were real

I wish clown girls were an actual race of people. Their entire skin is white. The clown nose is natural. Their nipples and pussy lips, aka Clussy, have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips. Their skin probably tastes funny Imagine the taste of their breast milk. Grabbing their breasts or ass causes a honk noise. Want to playfully grope Clown wifes butt in public, loud ass honk is heard echoing from her. Everyone turns to you too, knowing full well what is going on. She embarrassingly honks her nose, trying to play it off.

This is the unfunniest meme I have ever seen, I am already in a bad mood and now I see this shit, please delete this ASAP or else I am gonna fucking leave this subreddit and delete reddit and leave my home and start selling meth so that I can get your whole fucking neighbourhood get addicted to meth so that nobody makes a meme as shit and unfunny as this ever, this meme makes r/dankmemes look like peak humour, so I beg you to please delete this piece of shit or else I will do what I mentioned above or release genitically modified lizard-gorrilas with a cock as their fifth limbs to your neighbourhood

* [Buttocks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttocks)
* [Bikini](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bikini)
* [Sexual intercourse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse)
* [Playboy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Playboy)
* [AVN Adult Entertainment Expo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AVN_Adult_Entertainment_Expo)
* [Vagina](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina)
* [*Human Penis*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis) *(If you're into that)*
* [Femboy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trollface)
* [Breast](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast)
* [Breast Enlargement Surgery](https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+make+a+pipe+bomb&rlz=1C1RXQR_enIN972IN972&oq=how+to+make+a+pipe+bomb&aqs=chrome..69i57.2841j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)

Multiplier

Hello everybody. My name is Multiplier and welcome to 5 x 6, an indie horror equation that you guys suggested in mass and I saw that Divider played it and he said it was really, really difficult and that he supposedly can’t compute that type of equation. So I’m very eager to see what the answer is. And those are very terrifying numbers. A family of numbers looking for a qualified equation solver to punch some numbers. 3 equations the first night. If I didn’t wanna multiply the first numbers, why would I compute any more? Why would I compute anymore than one? Hello.

I'm not gay but I always kinda thought being gay would be dope. Like I have buddies that I go drink with and hunt, fish 4wheel, do projects like fix cars or remodeling and stuff like that. We always have a great time. If we were gay we could do all that stuff and then just fuck whenever we wanted without the whole relationship thing. I love my wife more than anything and we do lots of stuff together (or we did before kids) but going hunting with my friends is different than the things I do with my wife. The only thing missing is a little butt sex.

Oooo~! Monika is being surprised by Sayori, who is touching Monika’s amazing chest, because they’re really close friends! And Monika looks absolutely awesome and adorable as always while doing so. Monika is always the most beautiful being and the cutest cutie in existence to me, no matter if she is surprised or not, no matter who she is being surprised by, no matter if her stunning chest is being touched and no matter who is touching her wonderful chest~! I want to be surprised by our close friends and have our chests touched by them together with my beloved Monika right now, it would be so much fun~! I love Monika more than everything else in existence💚

Ok, mom, firstly, you need to understand that this isn't porn, all right? It's called "hentai". Yes, that's a Japanese phrase, I'm learning Japanese from these videos. Before I get to the part about learning Japanese, though, let me first comment on the cultural implications of hentai. After the second world war, which Japan lost after the nuclear bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the entire country underwent a period of self-reflection and soul-searching. They wanted to understand how events led to the rest of the world responding with such devastating atomic attacks. This led to a strong antipathy towards war-mongering and international aggression. You may have heard about how the Japanese constitution doesn't allow the country to have an active military. Same idea. A lot of post-war Japanese culture is a reflection of such attitudes. For example, the Godzilla movies are not just about giant monsters fighting each other. They're about the horrors of unbridled atomic technology (Godzilla's always depicted as being powered by or healed by nuclear power), and how such a terrifying force can never be allowed to be unleashed on humanity again. On a similar note, Japanese animation enjoyed a resurgence of popularity after the war, due to the populace choosing to turn towards the comforting images of their youth. Japanese kids, much like kids in our country, like to watch cartoons. As a result, psychologically speaking, cartoons represent a reminder of a simpler and more innocent age. This upsurge in popularity resulted in animated images pervading almost all of Japanese culture: from movies, to television, to advertising, to music videos, and so on and so forth. And because animated images were so widely accepted throughout Japan, they were used for almost every type of source material, or to tell any type of story. Animation was no longer the sole domain of children. You got animated movies that told very mature stories, like Ghost in the Machine or Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Sometimes you get stories that involve very mature topics, like war, or murder, or rape, or torture. The Japanese have generally become quite accustomed seeing depictions of such things in their animations. So yeah, that's why I was watching this movie. It's an epic tale about a space crew exploring a distant planet (the crew's all female, because Japan's very into gender equality), and they run into a hostile alien, with a bunch of tentacles... and... well... I don't want to spoil the story for you, but let's just say the crew eventually figure out how to get along with the alien. It's a story about bridging cultural gaps and finding common ground. Seriously, it's worth watching. Ok, next, you remember how I talked about knowing Japanese words and phrases now? It's because these movies are subtitled in English, so I can learn Japanese while watching them. I mean, I know words like yamete, and iie, and iigu, and lots of others. Much better than just knowing konichiwa, isn't it? I mean, I'm developing such an interest in hentai that I might just major in Japanese when I'm in college. Who knows, I might be the one writing the subtitles in the future. Oh, and one last thing, you should know that hentai's considered pretty mainstream in Japan now, and it's also quite common in the western world too now. Everyone's watching it. I mean, if I don't watch it, I'll be seen as some sort of freak at school. You don't want your son to be some kind of pariah because he doesn't watch hentai, do you?

We're strangers to love

You don't know the rules and neither do I

No commitment's what I'm thinking of

You would get this from any other guy

I don't wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you misunderstand

I'm gonna give you up

I'm gonna let you down

I'm gonna run around and desert you

I'm gonna make you cry

I'm gonna say goodbye

I'm gonna tell a lie and hurt you