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Just like OP’s son, when I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda... sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks.

I'd just sit there hours on end drawing dicks. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't touch the pen to the paper without drawing the shape of a penis. It was really fucked up. Here I am. A little kid. And I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life. And in the classroom was where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day, I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden... Someone bumped into my desk and sent my paper flying. The girl next to me Becca picks it up and FREAKS OUT after taking a look at it. She starts crying, she flips out. Then she rats me out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out.

He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is a religious fanatic, and he thinks I'm possessed by some sort of dick devil. My parents go make me see some therapist, and he's asking me all these dick questions. They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks?? The best kinds!

is it me or does minimum wage bussy hit different? the stress of having student loans makes them so tight. i'm bored of my whole foods, globe trotting boyfriend. all that easy living has him way too relaxed if you know what i mean? i'll drive an hour just to see the bossy starbucks barista power bottom just so I can hit it in his honda civic. they're the best mistresses, simple creatures. they're happy with just going to chili's and coldstone too. unlike my current LeLabo scented bottom with his stress-free, lasered bootyhole asking me to take him to michelin star restaurants so i can MAYBE get romantic, vanilla butt sex and then gets mad at me for getting the squirties on our egyptian cotton Frette sheets man who cares? i'm just trying to fuhq

I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be shitting. I’m simply here to shit. What we came across that day in the woods was obviously unplanned. The reactions you saw on tape were raw; they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't. And for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am shitting. I want to shit on the internet. I want to shit on anyone who has seen the video. I want to shit on anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But most importantly I want to shit on the victim and his family. For my fans who are defending my actions, please don't. I don’t deserve to be defended. The goal with my content is always to entertain; to push the boundaries, to be all-inclusive. In the world I live in, I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said I made a huge mistake. I don’t expect to be shitting, I’m just here to shit. I'm ashamed of myself. I’m disappointed in myself. And I promise to be better. I will be better. Thank you.

4 portions of chicken fried rice all with no peas.

A portion of chicken nuggets and that’s with the curry sauce.

A portion of chips + a tub of curry sauce.

My dick is 69 kilometers and when erected its 420 light years I feel average, I am average and what are yall dick size???!?? I'm not horny I'm just genuinely curious, what is the depth of a vigain OOOO SEX PUSSY DIIIIICK, once I asked for a pencil and then this cute girl gave me a pencil what dose this mean? Dose it mean I WILL HAVE SEX WITH VIGAINA DICK SECOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

Generally, I view socialising with people as a good thing. The feeling of interacting with great people is just wonderful, until I met you. At that time, you were actually fine, you just smelled a little bit like cow excrement and looked like a diseased hog, and your jokes were marginally funny. I don’t know how the “who asked” absolute shit get into you, why you like the phrase “who asked” so much. Like seriously, do you wish to fuck the phrase and stick your little soft stick into every single individual letter? Otherwise, I have no idea why you have such a fetish for that exact phrase.

The phrase “who asked” to me is just you denying your ever so pitiful capability of possessing brain cells and social skills. You might as well just hide in a coffin and be buried alive like the little cunt you are and you might actually contribute more to society that way, your body decomposing produces more raw material than your ass does in your entire life both physically and figuratively, and while it is still a lot of bullshit, it can’t be compared to all the “who asked” dumbass shit that comes out of your mouth like your saliva every time your hoglike face spits into my face.
Generally I believe you are a freak of nature. You are the type of people who clap at the plane landings, then scream for managers while being on your tiny little mobility scooter, and your oh so precious bottle of her herbal bergamot smelling essence bullshit in a 10ml vial that is probably larger than your tiny little microscopic cock.

I feel bad for whoever has to be related with you little cunt, if any, since they have spent so much money on literal trash, lowering their own property values. Entering this world gave your own parents a fine for possession of toxic chemicals and illegal substances.

You probably take a bag of salt and act like a cool person by throwing the tiniest pinch of salt through your large nostrils that your finger seems to love digging through for the organic material that your body produces, those boogers of yours could actually sell for more than your entire body as they could be used in a scientific test to explore how idiotic humanity has become.

Interacting with you has become a chore of mine, and I do wish you silently die one day, so I can come to your funeral and blast clown music at your black and white portrait and kick your casket bought from wish into the ground, covering it in your stack of salt that you keep acting cool with, and then heating up the ground to a temperature of 250 celcius and slow baking you in raw salt for five hours, then exhuming your sad little body and disposing of it, because the casket your body was in would probably be worth more with all the human fat inside.

I hope you die as a embodiment of the phrase “who asked”.

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.

I'm not gay but I always kinda thought being gay would be dope. Like I have buddies that I go drink with and hunt, fish 4wheel, do projects like fix cars or remodeling and stuff like that. We always have a great time. If we were gay we could do all that stuff and then just fuck whenever we wanted without the whole relationship thing. I love my wife more than anything and we do lots of stuff together (or we did before kids) but going hunting with my friends is different than the things I do with my wife. The only thing missing is a little butt sex.

I'm not gay but I always kinda thought being gay would be dope. Like I have buddies that I go drink with and hunt, fish 4wheel, do projects like fix cars or remodeling and stuff like that. We always have a great time. If we were gay we could do all that stuff and then just fuck whenever we wanted without the whole relationship thing. I love my wife more than anything and we do lots of stuff together (or we did before kids) but going hunting with my friends is different than the things I do with my wife. The only thing missing is a little butt sex.

I have sex every day no cap. Every single day of the week I get fucked and have my cock sucked. Whenever I walk by both men and women look at me and want to fuck me. And I am not just talking straight women and gay men or bi men and women, I mean the straightest of straight men and the most lesbian of lesbians imaginable are literally begging me on their knees for me to have sex with them. Half the time it's a harem and I have 1,000 people in bed with me fucking me in the ass. Yeah man this happens all the time and it's very real. Once time I banged this chick in front of the entire bar and everyone clapped while jerking off. It's real too, very real. Oh, and did I mention how real it was? Good, because it's a real story.

Joe biden works at the white house, and the world is under danger because putin wants world domination, SO PUTIN INVADES WASHINGTON DC, AND HE BRINGS HIS GUARDS AND EVADES THE WHITEHOUSE!! HE BUSTS DOWN THE DOORS ONE BY ONE AND EVENTUALLY GETS TO THE FINAL DOOR, JOE BIDEN IS UNDERGROUND HIDING AND HE HEARS PUTIN, PUTIN KNOCKS DOWN THE DOOR AND SHOOTS JOE BIDEN IN THE NECK, JOE BIDEN IS ON THE FLOOR BLEEDING OUT AND HIS FINAL WORDS ARE "FUCK ME WHILE IM DEAD KAMALA HARRIS" AND THEN KAMALA IS NAKED AND RUNS OUT AND SEDUCES PUTIN AND KAMALA GRABS THE GUN DURING SEX AND SHOOTS PUTIN IN THE HEAD, AND THEN SHE KILLS ALL OF PUTINS GUARDS AND THEN FINALLY HAS SEX WITH JOE BIDENS DEAD BODY, JOE ERECTS DURING SEX EVEN THOUGH HE IS DEAD AND KAMALA HARRIS IS COMITTING NECROPHILA. WORLD DOMINATION ENDED AFTER PUTIN DIED AND WAS SEDUCED BY KAMALA HARRIS AND KAMALA IS SEEN AS A HERO AND A NEW UPCOMING PORNSTAR, SO KAMALA LIVES OUT HER CAREER AS A PORNSTAR AND GETS RAPED MULTIPLE TIMES! SHE DIES IN A HOTEL AFTER SHE FUCKS A BIG BLACK DUDE, THE BIG BLACK DUDE SHOOTS HER AND THE STORY ENDS THERE. THE END

Within the next 12 hours, i must receive a PDF copy of the bible. If not, i will devour your peripheral myelin protein 22 gene, which will result in you receiving hereditary neuropathy with liability to pressure palsies. Good luck, Karton.

So basically, I (14F) was cooking dinner for my super sexy morbidly obese gamer genshin impact fan husband (54M) as well as my cringe-pilled special needs son (.083M)(We’ll call him Hubert) when Hubert walked in and said “Mother, it is with deep regret that I inform you I am actually he reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, and today I viciously slaughtered 420 Jews (nice) and 360 black people (no scope). Please give me my chicken tendies now.” I was very upset because jews make all the marvel movies (wholesome 100), and my husband loves to watch me have sex with black people, so I borrowed the AR-15 my husband had saved for a mass shooting and shot my son (adolf hitler) 69 times (without reloading) in the head, before lighting him on fire and detonating a claymore on him. My husband wheeled out of our room in his electric scooter and told me I did the right thing, and that now we had more money to spend on soylent and funko pops, but I feel guilty for not remembering a quippy one-liner to say before shooting my son (“I see this as an absolute win” “I am inevitable” ect.) AITA?

I worked in a morgue for a little while so I have some idea what I'm talking about.

If you're going to do it, you do it soon. The prettiest ones actually come from the car accidents, though it can be a major case of butter face.

But we actually kept some lube and or disinfectant around, so all you had to do was stick it in and go.

I was once getting a pretty little corpses ready for a funeral and just couldn't resist.

I pulled down her panties and pushed in. She had ODed so she was in good shape and not too dry.

I plowed her like there was no tomorrow, going inside her several times.

On the third time I heard the door open. The drivers were here to pick up the body, they would be here in seconds.

I quickly opened her mouth, shoved my phallus as far down as possible and released into her mouth and throat. I righted myself in time for them to take the body.

They had an open casket funeral. It still gets me hard thinking that her family was saying good bye. And the whole time, my semen was in her mouth.

Wenomechainsama


Tumajarbisaun


Wifenlooof


Eselifterbraun


Anweculbetugtbaby


Aslonskysrblu


Yuaksoinocenow


Buchyulaidsosun


Wenomechainsama


🎶🎶🎶


Wenomechainsama (Sama)


Tumajarbisaun (Ye,ye)


Wifenlooof (Looof)


Eselifterbraun (Ye, ye)


Anweculbetugtbaby


Aslonskysrblu (Ye, ye)


Yuaksoinocenow


Buchyulaidsosun (Ye, ye)


Wenomechainsama


Sama


🎶🎶🎶


Wenomechainsama (Sama) (Ye, ye) (Looof) (Ye, ye)


Sama (Sama) (Ye, ye) (Looof) (Ye, ye)


🎶🎶🎶

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.

That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there was well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!

Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.

Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???

is it me or does minimum wage bussy hit different? the stress of having student loans makes them so tight. i'm bored of my whole foods, globe trotting boyfriend. all that easy living has him way too relaxed if you know what i mean? i'll drive an hour just to see the bossy starbucks barista power bottom just so I can hit it in his honda civic. they're the best mistresses, simple creatures. they're happy with just going to chili's and coldstone too. unlike my current LeLabo scented bottom with his stress-free, lasered bootyhole asking me to take him to michelin star restaurants so i can MAYBE get romantic, vanilla butt sex and then gets mad at me for getting the squirties on our egyptian cotton Frette sheets man who cares? i'm just trying to fuhq

I made a mistake 😞 I took my brother to the cave 🕳🏃🏃‍♂️🏡 and I didn’t notice it’d started to rain 🌧 🌧 we went in and explored 🔦👀 and then the rain poured💦💦💦 we both began to drown 🌊😩😩🌊 he died and now mom drinks, and beats me 😣🔫😡🍾 through all the abuse my mind split 😫⚡️😖 he was a boy braver than me 🦁🐭 he protected me from my fears and helped me for years🛡🚑 in a way I was his brother, and he was to me 😎😎 at 18 we became a mercenary 🔫☹️ and died protecting innocence 💀💀💀💀💀 but a god of luminescence 💡💡 asked, my fealty for my life 👻💪 and so the moon became me 🌘🌉

“The night of the moon” inspiration: Moon Knight tm
Written by: VernTheSatyr