Its been a year daddy, I really really miss you. You're a real trooper, you've been looking for the milk for a year and you're still not giving up. My uncle, your brother has introduced me to a few new games that we play in the basement locked. He always says it is really hot and makes me take off my clothes, even though I don't really think it's hot. Sometimes with him my pee becomes really white and sticky, and I feel so good. He also once told me to turn against the wall, and my butt started to hurt. My mother has become an alcoholic and changed my name to No Tip Timmy after i slammed my pp on the car door. My mother also got me a stepdad, he and my uncle sometimes do something called a train on me. I forgive you for abusing me.

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It's perfectly normal to enjoy doing this! Many people find it pleasurable to bury their face in soft pillows, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying the sensation of a MILF behind.

Not only that, if you hump the pillows it also simulates having glorious sex with a MILF. This is because the MILF behind provides resistance, which makes the experience more realistic and satisfying.

So go ahead and continue enjoying your pillow-humping fantasies - they're perfectly normal and healthy!

It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her.

The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife.

When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18.

We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything.

When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner.

We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her.

It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet.

Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love.

But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite.

I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me.

I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it.

We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?

A most deranged fantasy came to me in the shower. I was walking, marching, weaving through Times Square with my eyes closed. Preemptively avoiding the busy people while going my merry way. They were frightened of my quick pace, my effortlessly athletic moves, and the volume of my voice. With odd speaker devices on my arms, I was blasting instrumentals one after another as soon as they came to me, and singing along to them with such flow and perfect pitches I could only dream of reaching. My voice was pristine if I wanted it, or digital if I so wished. In the shower, I was making back and forth naked like a madman. My eyes wide open, almost vividly seeing the gorgeous city in my mind. I hummed songs with all my heart as the hot water hit me. I vaguely imitated the suave, beyond-human dancing I saw myself doing as I slunk my way blindly, gracefully through the people. I leaped over a few of them no harder than jumping over a puddle. It was freedom and happiness. I didn’t need any destination. I was at the centerpiece of my city, and I was making myself the shining centerpiece of my life. My eyes were closed, and the shock of everyone around me didn’t matter. Did I make their lives better with such a ridiculous spectacle? I hope I did. But they came second to this feeling. I was a plume of vapor that refused to ever dissipate. Except, really, I was Hatsune Miku. Really. I was Miku throughout the entire fantasy, for what could have been over half an hour, at two in the morning on a weekday. As of late, that character has symbolized freedom and joy whenever I lose myself to daydreams. She, or me as her, doing things I wish I could do. Funny thing is nothing is stopping me from heading downtown and blasting music on my headphones, cherishing my surroundings through my own convictions for the first time in a long while. But instead, I do this. Because I’m too lazy, or to comfortable with my complaisant, idle, “do nothing and you get the most” lifestyle to seek out joy fervently like everyone else. These fantasies do little to improve my mood, and yet here we are. At least looking back on them serves as some conviction for the future. Now if only I could share media meaningful to me as a way to express this.

I am a biological woman and a female. I haven't spoken to him since.

For context we were having sex, and at some point with his eyes closed he moaned "yeah that boy pussy..." and then stopped, realising he spoke out loud.

I'd feel better if he mentioned another woman because we're (somewhat) open but I'm pretty sure he's bisexual and instead of speaking to me about it, fantasizes about me being a twink.

Jesse we need to have gay sex


My cock is throbbing, having came in 7 days


If you wanna put sum in my bussy just say yes


I just need some stress reliever in my ass


You gotta help me forget about my ex


go get some lube and go get some toys


I know it Jesse, you like boys

\- Move, cyclops, move! Come on, come on, almost-

\*aah\*

\*n-gaah, ow\*

\- WOAH, WHAT THE FU-U...

\*AAAAAAH\*

\- ...medic.

\*woh-hoh-hoh\*

\- No more!..

\- But it gets better!

\*ha-ha-ha\*

\- When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing and the doctor was never heard from again!

\*hahahaha-ha\*

\*hah-hah-ha-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho\*

\- Ah, anyway, that's how I lost my medical license.

\*heh\*

\- Archimedes, no! It's filthy in there!

\*ugh\*

\- Birds.

\*ha-ha-ha\*

\- Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage, but I'm fairly certain your heart-

\- What was noise?

\- The sound of progress my friend.

\- Ah, perfect.

\- Kill me...

\- Later.

**-** Where was I? Ah, there we go... Come on, come on!

\*ooh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-WAH-HA-HA-WAH-HA-HA-HAA\*

\*huh-huh\*

\- Oh, that looks good. Very nice here.

\- Should I be awake for this?

\- Ah, huh, well, no. But, as long as you are could you hold your ribcage open a bit? I can't seem-

\*AAA-AAAH\*

\- Aw, don't be such a baby, ribs grow back!

\- (No they don't)

\- What happens now?

**-** Now?

\*humm-humm-humm\*

\- Let's go practice medicine.

\- MEDIC!

\- Yeah!

\- Woo-hoo-hoo! Oh, yeah!

\- Doctor! Are you sure this will work?!

\*heh-heh\*

\- I have NO IDEA!"

\*YAAAAAH-WHAA-HAAA\*

\*WHA-HA-HA\*

\- I am bulletproof!

\- That looks good, very nice here...

\- Hey, thanks, doc.

\*hah-ha\*

\- Aw, man! You would not believe... how much this hurts

\- Archimedes?

They stop making them here cause people keept triping and dieing cause it goes through the roof of your mouth then dieing. And that's why you should not use metal straws so to save sea turtles get a reusable sippy cup

🗿 is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? Its useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment 🗿 as if it's funny. Its not. 🗿 deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die.

Downvoted. You feel that? That’s my immense internet authority. That’s my ability to make you feel worse about yourself. How dare you call me a bully. Do you have any flippin’ clue how hard I worked to make this website what it is today? Of course you don’t. Downvoted again! And don’t pretend like these points are meaningless- they aren’t. They represent effort. Real effort, sweat, blood and cum. Get owned. Go back to Facebook if you want the fake internet, this is the real deal. Too real for you.

Not a thing that I'm
particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking
zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became
something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best
strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't
become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I
saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was
usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming
over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the
fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn
on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons
preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for
honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower
and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench
and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread
out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you
know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit
targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for
the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your
presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to
them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your
bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation
is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you
master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming
depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I
would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face.
It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds
reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other
places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every
now and then I catch myself gazing

I AM ANNOUNCING MY IMMINENT MASTURBATION. I am aware that the announcement of imminent masturbation has been a serious reocurring issue lately, and I am here with my bottom-level social skills to ensure that it will only worsen. I hope that this server full of mostly male members will appreciate the fact that I will soon be cumming, and offer me that coveted high-five that I so surely deserve. As the announcement of imminent masturbation is NOT in the current ruleset, I will continue to toe this line. Any and all action taken against me by the mod team will be considered extra judicial and I will retaliate by mobilizing my army of alts. If any males want to provide me a high-five or emotial gratification, please do so. If any females wish to provide me sexual gratification, ew. Thank you, and please remember: I AM NOW MASTURBATING

Im 17 and I was a virgin until yesterday afternoon .it was a moment I had been expecting and told a couple of my friends about and EVERYONE had been telling me I will cum in the first 10 seconds, but I had always been pretty good at sexual stuff so I wasn't really convinced (might have eaten and fingered a couple vaginas , but
never sex until this moment).so the time finally came, at first I didn't know how to put it in 😂😂but she helped me and I started going to work ,l'd say 4-5 minutes into it she stops me and accuses me of not being a virgin because I was too good and not Cumming fast enough ,can you imagine!!! 😲truly truly I was a mixture of confused, ashamed and proud .she then had us dress back up and I had to explain to her that I wasn't lying .we ended up chilling together for a while and once more the moment came up , this time it was more passionate and I was sure that I was going to cum (1 could even hear the slosh sound), so I'm there trying out positions I've seen on pornhub and boom ,my penis accidentally slips out and she doesn't let me put it back in 🙆🏾‍♀️once again she convinced herself I was lying to her, man o man can you believe it. by this time it was getting late she ended up finishing me off with a handy and later took herself and my hoodie home 😭 what you guys think should I try older women than me

Look at it this way.

If you like to jack off your own dick, and you like to suck your own dick, then jacking and sucking dick is something you like.

However, when you are masturbating, is it really you that is jacking your dick off, or is it the feminine presence inside you that serves as the sexual antagonist inside your head?

You may be jacking your dick in the physical world, but in the mental world, she is jacking your dick.

Does this make you Trans? I don’t think so, because she is not a person.

She is a mental archetype, lesser in rank than a person.

If you were truly gay for yourself, jacking your own dick in the physical and mental world, then the sexual antagonist archetype in your head would be male.

If you were able to suck your own dick, your sex goddess takes over. Your dick is being sucked by a sex goddess you created in your head, who is using your body to antagonize sexuality into the personal loop of masturbation.

It is she who enjoys sucking dick. You are her victim. It is your dick being sucked, and she is the sucker.

Bro she did me so dirty i can't even tell my mom 😭 I am scared 😭

IT'S PSYCHOLOGICAL ED SEARCH IT UP DON'T DM ME ABOUT DETAILS💀

As a sigma male psychopath with no empathy or conscience I jerk off to Patrick Bateman every day. I beat my red meaty bloody dick to the thought of Patrick Bateman, my sigma life idol and the peak of man, manipulating and social climing like a true sigma would. Girls are obviously intimidated by my intelligence and mysteriousness which is why I can't get any dates, but to be honest I am too chad and sigma for dates anyways. All I need to do is keep being a machiavellian psychopath sociopath sigma male and stay in that grindset, yknow? To be honest I would even want a woman who doesn't appreciate my extravagant fedora and eloquent speech when I tip it at them anyway, a sign of low intelligence. I think I dodged a bullet all those times they screamed and ran away in addition to putting a restraining order on me. I would only wish for a female who can appreciate my superior sigma intellect. Yes, I am a sigma male psychopath, and anyone who crosses my path will be forced to face the full might of my wrath. May God have mercy on their souls, because I will show none.

1: Get a gallon of cow milk and pour condensed milk and powdered milk into it

2: Get every other accessible milk and also pour it in (If condensed and powdered milk of these kinds exist, then throw those in as well)

3: Feed the milk to every animal you can milk

4: It's probably very large by now so get a machine to condense it

5: Drink up!

WARNING, DON'T CONDENSE MILK FURTHER OR ELSE IT WILL COLLAPSE INTO A BLACK HOLE

Once upon a time there was a penis. This penis was different than any other penis because it was not attached to a body. This penis went on all sorts of adventures. It went to the beach, it went to the park, it even went to school! But no matter where this penis went, it always had a good time. One day, the penis went to a party. There were all sorts of other body parts there, but the penis was the only one not attached to a body. Everyone was having a great time, but the penis felt a little left out. But then, the penis saw someone it knew. This was someone the penis had always wanted to meet. The penis walked over to the person, and they started talking. The conversation was great, and the penis felt like it finally belonged. The person the penis was talking to was also not attached to a body. In fact, they were just a head. The head and the penis talked for hours, and they eventually realized that they had a lot in common. The head and the penis became great friends, and they went on all sorts of adventures together. They went to the movies, they went shopping, and they even went on a road trip! But no matter what they did, the head and the penis always had a great time. Because they had each other. Eventually the Penis asked the head for a blowjob. The head agreed and it was the best blowjob the penis ever had. They both enjoyed it so much that they decided to do it again and again. And they lived happily ever after.

To be honest, I can't stand you people. It's literally just a character from a show, and yet you whine about how you want to fuck her so bad and you spend money just to satisfy that urge you have. For fucks sake, do something that doesn't involve Loona for once in your life. I joined this sub to have conversations about the show, not about how fucking horny you are. Sorry. Just had to get that off of my mind.