Day 1: I gather the supplies and begin. Pulling down my lab pants, I select a strawberry and insert it into my anus. Then, an apple. I slowly and painfully insert turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes as my sphincter resists then accepts an entire 4-course meal. I rest fitfully, science running through my mind.

Day 2: I awake with a start and a feeling of fullness in my throat. I rush to the bathroom and look in the mirror, opening my mouth as the feeling rises to the back of my throat and into my mouth. My eyes widen as slowly but surely, a brownish log appears and I spit it into a beaker. My experiment is a success!

Day 3: I approach the brownish log and feel it. Yes, it feels like shit. I taste it. Yes, it tastes like shit. I ask my lab assistant to taste it and yes, it tastes like shit.

My theory- Inserting food into your anus and poop will come out your mouth.

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣳⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢢⡹⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠠⡳⣯⣿⣿⣾⢵⣫⢎⢎⠆⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢨⣫⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⢎⡗⡕⡅⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢜⢾⣾⣿⣿⣟⣗⢯⡪⡳⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢀⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣞⡵⡣⣊⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡣⣗⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡯⡺⣼⠎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡵⣻⣟⣯⣿⣷⣟⣝⢞⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢘⡺⣽⢿⣻⣿⣗⡷⣹⢩⢃⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠪⣯⣟⣿⢯⣿⣻⣜⢎⢆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢣⣻⣽⣿⣿⣟⣾⡮⡺⡸⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢕⡳⣽⡾⣿⢽⣯⡿⣮⢚⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠒⠝⣞⢿⡿⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⡅⠌⠻⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡐⠱⡱⣻⡻⣝⣮⣟⣿⣻⣟⣻⡺⣊

Sprite tenderly caresses Cough Syrup as Cough Syrup uncomfortably shifts in his hospital bed. “Shhh, it’ll be ok baby, we’ll be out of here soon,” Sprite whispers, squeezing Cough Syrup’s hand. Cough Syrup gently squeezes back, too weak from labor to do anything more. He’s breathing heavily, clearly in pain. “The baby is ready when you are,” the nurse says, walking across the room towards the couple, “Are you ready to push?” Cough Syrup nods, spreading his legs and gritting his teeth. “Deep breaths honey, you can do this,” Sprite reassures him. “Big push on the count of three, ok?” The nurse says, positioning herself between Cough Syrup’s legs. He nods again. “One… two… three… push!” A loud groan escapes Cough Syrup as he pushes. “You’re doing great babe, one more time, ok?” Sprite cups Cough Syrup’s face in his hand, gently stroking his cheek. “One… two… three… push!” Cough syrup cries out as his whole body shakes. A loud wailing is suddenly heard. “Here is your beautiful baby boy!” The nurse exclaims, placing the child in Cough Syrup’s arms. He tears up, smiling at the infant. Sprite kisses Cough Syrup’s forehead and coos at the baby. “He’s perfect,” he whispers. “Do you remember what we agreed to name him?” Cough syrup asks. Sprite replies, “How could I forget? Welcome to the world, beautiful baby Lean.”

Hi. I am a 35 year old incel.

I was born kind of ”disfigured” with weird teeth and this left me in a pretty bad trauma.

I do not have women or minorities, so I am not a ”hatecel” I HAVE MET WOMEN INCELS! ITS INCREASING TOO, WOMEN ARE JUST QUIET ABOUT IT!. I never blame women. I blame the nature.

Whenever I go out alone, I never get any attention. Whenever I go out with friends, they get attention and even numbers from women, so basically I am ugly.

To make matters worse, I have an above avarage IQ WHILE having adhd. Nice combination, all leading to extreme anxiety because I know the truth.

The truth is a mix between black pill and red pill. Thats all.

Some incels might become hateful but that is thankfully not my case.. But it is natural for me TO WANT to date a woman, so it is painful, but I feel absolutely no anger towards people, I am not narcissistic.

But it is just so sad to get no attention.. it hurts. I am 6’1 tall and have a normal body so height and weight is not an issue.

I think it is in both mens and womens nature to go after the most beautiful people.

Otherwise there would be no beauty. If you are going to hate something, it is the nature. Not people, not chads, not your parents, but the nature itself. Because in all honesty, even we would not date someone that had a worse life etc than us. We are the same.

It pains me. It hurts to have the natural instinct to go on a relationship and not be able to.

The only hope I have left is plastic surgery because I am by now over 30 and people after age 25 tend to look ”uglier” with wrinkles and other aging things like facial structure.. I still have a chance to get laid before 40 because everyone is starting to become as unattractive as me but it hurts, it PAINS me to have had my whole lovelife gone. I wanted love since I was 15, not since now. I do not compare myself or hate chads. I do not. But I belivie chads have had a better life because attractiveness gives you more job opportunities, power, social skills and so on. My life would have been totally different.

What can I say? All I want to say is that those who are way too unattractive should get free plastic surgeries but at the same time that sounds terrible because that will just make kids doubt themselves.

Nature is cruel. Not only to humans but to other species. Bird ladies would rather date a peacock with a huge butt of feathers.

I just wanted to get this out of my mind. It is not people we should hate. It is the nature. We are unique and should take care of ourselves and do our best.

I literally can't poop without my parents knocking and asking me what I'm doing, like im snorting fucking cocaine in here or I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY THINK IM DOING HERE? HUHHH LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME POOP IN PEACE FOR GOD SAKE AND NOW MY BUTTHOLE IS CONSTRICTED BECAUSE IM ANGRY AND POOP WONT COME OUT FAST. IM SO CLOSE SO CLOSE TO FUCKING TAKING MY SHIT AND SMEARING IT ON THE WALL AS PROOF OR EVEN BETTER THEIR FACES, OR OR MAYBE I'LL BE CIVIL AND SPREAD IT WITH A BUTTER KNIFE ON A PIECE OF FRESHLY TOASTED BREAD FOR THEM TO ENJOY. I SUSPECT THERE'S EATING SHIT FOR BREAKFAST ANYWAY BECAUSE WHENEVER THEY OPEN THEIR FUCKING MOUTH NOTHING COMES OUT BUT SHIT. AHHH I SEE I THINK ALL THE FUCKING SHIT COMES OUT OF THEIR MOUTH SO THEY DONT HAVE ENOUGH TO POOP OUT THAT'S WHY THEY ARE SURPRISED THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY POOP. yeah that's it I think I'm done I'm not smearing poop on the walls, I'll probably go and study or something

We started off strangers now things are progressing. I see my demon constantly biting his lip in the corner of my room so I’ve experimented with slowly sleeping with less garments of clothes. The closet he’s ever gotten is when I slept naked. Should I try no covers and naked combo next time? Lmk guys.

You don't say "those hashtags though" you dumb fucking loser. "though" is a conjunction, you pathetic reject. Anyone who uses the "that _ though" phrase, or any variation of it, should have their eyes gouged out with pliers. Imagine being so pathetic and desperate to fit in that you use mainstream phrases that mentally stunted kids use. Better Call Saul is a show for highly intellectual people - you clearly have no business watching it. Go watch Euphoria, or some other trash made for simpletons.

I'm sorry, but you can't just hand-wave away the physics and chemistry by making claims like fetuses, "are not a positive energy source". Human tissue is primarily water and carbon. Water is already oxidized and doesn't burn easily. It does absorb heat, but much of that heat would be transferred to the heat exchanger, so there isn't really any lost energy except perhaps some condensation/vaporization energy. Carbon does burn quite easily in an exothermic reaction. If you want to dispute that, show your work.

I mean, it doesn't even pass the common sense test. Like, before we had modern methods of measuring metabolic absorption of food, it was common to burn it and measure how much net energy was produced. Animal products have a positive net energy. Fetuses don't have some magical property where burning them is net endothermic. It's not nuclear fusion >Fe. It's literally burning meat and fatty tissues and carbohydrates.

I swear all she does all day is masterbate and masterbate, it sounds like she's mixing mac n cheese and you can hear it throughout the whole fucking house. My mom has been complaining to her but my sister just started going louder and louder. Worst part is my computer is in her room so everyday I have to go in there and see her just fucking DEMOLISHING her property, juices flying everywhere! and then i say, "hey maybe out down a towel to keep clean atleast," BUT SHE JUST FUCKING IGNORES ME. I cant stand living here honestly. Yesterday when I went to go use my computer it was absolutely drenched in her juices, and she stained atleast 6 of my shirts by now. And all my friends at school tease me, "haha haha tobias got his sister's grool on his shirt," "girlcum tobias" has become my nickname. I hate it!

After adding Rust support to Linux kernel in 2021 Linux repo has been flooded with patches and pull requests from brave Rustaceans rewriting critical components in Rust to ensure their stability and memory safety that C could never guarantee. After a few painful years of code reviews and salt coming from C programmers losing their jobs left and right we have finally achieved a 100% Rust Linux kernel. Not a single kernel panic or crash has been reported ever since. In fact, the kernel was so stable that Microsoft gave up all their efforts in Windows as we know it, rewrote it in Rust, and Windows became just another distro in the Linux ecosystem. Other projects and companies soon followed the trend - if you install any Linux distro nowadays it won't come with grep, du or cat - there is only ripgrep, dust and bat. Do you use a graphical interface? Good luck using deprecated projects such as Wayland, Gnome or KDE - wayland-rs , Rsome and RDE is where it's all at. The only serious browser available is Servo and it holds 98% of the market share. Every new game released to the market, including those made by AAA developers, is using the most stable, fast and user-friendly game engine - Bevy v4.20. People love their system and how stable, safe and incredibly fast it is. Proprietary software is basically non-existent at this point. By the year 2035 every single printer, laptop, industrial robot, rocket, autonomous car, submarine, sex toy is powered by software written in Rust. And they never crash or fail. The world is so prosperous and stable that we have finally achieved world peace.

Ferris looks down at what he has created once more and smiles, as he always did. He says nothing as he is just a crab and a mascot, but you can tell from his eyes... That he is truly proud of his community.

I'm blocking anyone with flag "🇺🇦" in their name or bio, the reason is because I feel like people are giving to much attention to this when Dreamsexuals have been struggling more for months, dreamsexuality is more important then this Ukraine thing, put "💚🖤🤍" instead.

I swear all she does all day is masterbate and masterbate, it sounds like she's mixing mac n cheese and you can hear it throughout the whole fucking house. My mom has been complaining to her but my sister just started going louder and louder. Worst part is my computer is in her room so everyday I have to go in there and see her just fucking DEMOLISHING her pussy, juices flying everywhere! and then i say, "hey maybe out down a towel to keep clean atleast," BUT SHE JUST FUCKING IGNORES ME. I cant stand living here honestly. Yesterday when I went to go use my computer it was absolutely drenched in her juices, and she stained atleast 6 of my shirts by now. And all my friends at school tease me, "haha haha tobias got his sister's grool on his shirt," "girlcum tobias" has become my nickname. I hate it!

SO everyone today I WANTED to know the sexiest sex you've ever sexed. i sex many people and get it done 100 times a week but i still want to know cummiest cum you've ever cummed while being cummy, and the wettiest wet you've ever wetted while being wetty like Mrs. Wet. Don't worry, this is not a personal question at all, I'm just satisfied that I'm spamming r/AskReddit with another nsfw post and I really want to message girls in their dm's like a normal person asking for their pics, ya know. Also, like 90% of the rest of reddit, I cannot have enough cum rubbing against my ball sack, so I need to jerk off enough to other people's hot sex fantasies to load ten bottles of milk with cum.

I'll have gotten 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 upvotes from like minded sex maniacs within 3 hours of posting the postiest post I've ever posted.

The next day, I'll replace the legit milk bottles with ones that are filled with my cum. See, then I'll post on r/LifeProTips that I managed to get milk for free and reveal my secret.

Then, I'll make a post on r/tifu ABOUT HOW my neighbour s(creamed) after drinking the whole load mixed with chocolate for her MIL's sisters fathers brother sons dogs birthday party.

Then I'll post on r/AmItheAsshole asking if i was an asshole by making a kind gesture of giving a free BJ load of a lifetime to my neighbours and I'll get onto r/gonewild and post selfies of my huge 20 inch thong showing its diamond encrusted cock ring and then I'll post on r/GetMotivated about how I went from being a 200 year old neckbeard living in the basementiest basement I've ever basemented to making it and adorning my thong (with a 10 inch girth) with a bangle I bought from a jeweller. My thong's so thick that the glory hole I went to had to actually drill out a special hole for me.

Then, I went back home and wrote a post on r/mildlyinfuriating about how I can't find a pair of jeans large enough to accomodate my holy thong.

Then, like a sigma omega chad smegma delta phi alpha male, I'll go to bed at 4 am for the grind, wake up on the year 6969 and ask the floating dicks browsing r/AmIHot\- Am I sexy?

So I'm not the only one who remembers the sissy game right? It that game you play on middle school/high school where one boy has to be the sissy. The sissy, who was never me btw, has to do what every other boy wants and can't do anything about it. Usually that meant sucking them off or getting your boy pussy pounded by the older kids. They'd all call the kid, who was never me obviously, sissy and all the girls would laugh. They'd also piss on him from time to time and make him swallow. Both the piss and the cum. Y'all also played this game right guys, right?

I just love sitting in my room with multiple fans trapping the farts in one direction so they never leave. It’s like a permanent your own fart chamber. What drugs will make my farts more gooey and potent? or foods? any advice is appreiciated. *farts* whoops! hehe!

Morbius is honestly the best movie I’ve ever seen. I know it sounds crazy, but it touched me. I came thrice while watching it in the theatres. I’m so glad we finally get to see Jared Leto, my favourite actor of all time, in the role of Morbius the living vampire. I thought the plot of the movie was very entertaining and original, and I never could have seen the twists coming. This is a really good change from all this Hollywood propaganda we’ve been fed over the last few decades. The industry needs more people like Leto to play such diverse roles. I could really see myself in the character Morbius, he’s really relatable and fun and quirky. Overall, Morbius is the best cinema experience I’ve ever had and nothing will ever top it. I’ll cherish this memory for the rest of my life, I’ll remember the fabric of the seats and the sweaty atmosphere in the theatre. When Morbius first got on screen, me and the other man who went to watch cheered as loud as we could. I was so lucky to be able to have an almost empty room to see the movie so I wasn’t annoyed by exterior noises while watching. In fact, every time I went to rewatch it now that I think about it, the room was empty. My guess is that everyone was so shocked by Leto’s incredible, revolutionary and profound acting that they had to leave the room. I’m repeating myself, but Morbius is and will always be a true classic, a masterpiece between trash movies from money-hungry studios. When I tell myself I’m watching a movie, Morbius is the kind of cinematic experience I’m waiting for. It was way better than The Batman (2022) and now my favourite movie of all time, a direct cult classic. I’d recommend avidly. 11/10.

Freddy pulls into the drive through. He is oh so hungry and craving that big mac. As he arrives at the menu and the speaker, his mouth waters slightly at the thought of sinking his plastic bear teeth into a sweet, sweet, succulent big mac hamburger. He clears his throat and sits forward in his seat. He waits patiently for the worker to come on the speaker and allow him to place his order. Silence. Nothing for what feels like forever. He grows impatient and weary. He can feel his big bear tummy rumble and hopes whoever remains on the other end of the speaker can hear it. Finally, he hears the crinkle crackle and an incomprehensible voice.

“Welcome to McDonald's, how can I help you?”

They sound entirely overworked and disinterested. Freddy gets angry at the misplaced boredom from the minimum wage worker. Afterall, how can someone who works at the most magical place on earth be so unhappy? His thoughts wander to what it would be like to be surrounded by the delicious smells of big macs and fries all day. Once again, his mouth waters as he stares through the windshield into the sky. His eyes sparkle as the speaker kicks back on.

“Hello?”

“Oh sorry” He feels embarrassed after letting his thoughts roam so wildly. “Can I get a big mac meal, large please!” He chuckles at himself and at how excited he is to taste the perfection that is a McDonald's big mac on his tongue.

“What to drink?”

“What?” He was so lost in thought once more he totally missed what the worker said.

“What do you want to drink with that?”

“I’ll take your finest sprite.” He pointed his finger in the air, matter-of-fact like and chuckled once more.

“Whatever you say, pal.” The speaker returns. He frowns at their uninterested comment and pulls forward.

As he makes his way to the window and hands in his card, he sees the worker mumble something under their breath. He gets nervous as they swipe the card a second time and sighs. They open the window another time.

“Your card was declined sir.”

“Oh, what? That can’t be right! You’ll have to swipe it one last time. I’m sure it will work!”

Annoyed, the cashier swipes the card and, once more, it is declined. Visible sweat beads begin to form on Freddy's fuzzy forehead and he bites his lower lip. He grows anxious as the cashier turns back to him once again. He panics and reaches for his wallet. There are no other cards, no cash. Nothing. No way for him to pay for his mouth-watering big mac. He begins to breathe heavier.

“Sir, if you can’t pay we need you to pull out of the drive-through.”

Freddy’s mind goes blank and he can feel tears well up in his eyes. He searches around the car for anything to pay for the big mac. As he opens the glovebox, he sees something fall out onto the floor. Quickly, he looks back to the window and sees the cashier is turned away for a moment. He picks up the object and leans back to the window, a smile spreading on his face. As he points the glock at the cashier, her eyes widen in fear.

“I’ll take my food, please.”

The cashier looks frightened and can barely move, but hands Freddy his big mac meal and sprite. Freddy lowers the Glock and smiles at the cashier.

“Thank you. And have a wonderful day!”

He drives off as the sounds of sirens begin to echo around him. But at least he has his big mac. No matter how many bodies he has to pile over or sacrifice, he will enjoy his sweet sweet, succulent McDonald's big mac.

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “fuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?

\>be in class

\>morbidly obese fat kid also in class

\>his name was Stephen

\>infamous for being 300lb in 5th grade

\>gets obsessed with Wario Land 3

\>always has his GameBoy Color and Wario Land 3

\>got it taken up a few times but always got it back and kept bring it to school

\>didn't even understand the games, just liked wario

\>made up moves that wario did

\>basically just put "Wario" before whatever he was doing

\>"Wario Punch!", "Wario Stomp", "Wario Pile Driver", etc

\>Always wants to play "Wario" at recess but no one knows what that even is so no one did

\>anyway so in class one day

\>teacher asks class a question

\>Stephen raises his hand to answer

\>actually tries to answer, doesn't say anything Wario related

\>gets it wrong

\>smartass teacher's pet cunt sitting next to him laughs and provides the right answer

\>Stephen is visibly angered

\>turns to her and screams "MY MUSTACHE HAS DEEMED THAT YOU GET MY WARIO STEAM!!!"

\>Leans away from her, ass pointed right at her

\>Stephen, no.wav

\>rips the mightiest of ass right at her

\>Swear I saw her hair gust back from the blast

\>she's the first to smell it

\>she pukes on the spot

\>whole class starts to smell like the foulest shit I may have ever smelled

\>we don't even wait for the teacher to dismiss us, everyone piles out into the hall

\>Stephen got ISS for 3 days

\>smartass cunt never spoke up again

​

Stephen's probably dead, he was morbidly obese all the way through highschool too

God why is my sister so FUCKING LOUD

I swear all she does all day is masterbate and masterbate, it sounds like she's mixing mac n cheese and you can hear it throughout the whole fucking house. My mom has been complaining to her but my sister just started going louder and louder. Worst part is my computer is in her room so everyday I have to go in there and see her just fucking DEMOLISHING her pussy, juices flying everywhere! and then i say, "hey maybe out down a towel to keep clean atleast," BUT SHE JUST FUCKING IGNORES ME. I cant stand living here honestly. Yesterday when I went to go use my computer it was absolutely drenched in her juices, and she stained atleast 6 of my shirts by now. And all my friends at school tease me, "haha haha tobias got his sister's grool on his shirt," "girlcum tobias" has become my nickname. I hate it!