My (78M) sister (17F) and I have never gotten along. One day she caught me spying on her in the shower(15M), and we got into a huge fight. So I stole her shampoo bottle(16M) and jacked off to hentai(18F) as much as possible until I filled it up all the way. I put the bottles back and the next day her hair smelled like cum(78M) and she was crying. My Mom(21F) and my dad(6M) found out and started to yell at me, so with my huge 900 inch cock(78M), I cummed(2000 Gallons) all over them and then they all drowned in cum.

I am now facing life imprisonment(200 Years) but I honestly dont think I deserve it and that they are overreacting.

So, Reddit, AITA?

All "among us" in the Bible.

Genesis 23:6 Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead. Genesis 34:22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised. Exodus 17:7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not? Exodus 34:9 And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance. Numbers 27:4 Why should the name of our father be done away from among his family, because he hath no son? Give unto us therefore a possession among the brethren of our father. Deuteronomy 31:17 Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us? Joshua 9:7 And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you? Joshua 9:22 And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us? Joshua 22:19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God. Joshua 22:31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord. Judges 18:25 And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household. 1 Samuel 4:3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies. 1 Kings 5:6 Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians. Job 34:37 For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands among us, and multiplieth his words against God. Psalm 74:9 We see not our signs: there is no more any prophet: neither is there among us any that knoweth how long.Genesis 23:6 Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead. Genesis 34:22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised. Exodus 17:7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not? Exodus 34:9 And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance. Deuteronomy 31:17 Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us? Joshua 9:7 And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you? Joshua 9:22 And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us? Joshua 22:19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God. Joshua 22:31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord. Judges 18:25 And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household. 1 Samuel 4:3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies. 1 Kings 5:6 Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians. Job 34:37 For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands among us, and multiplieth his words against God. Psalm 74:9 We see not our signs: there is no more any prophet: neither is there among us any that knoweth how long. Proverbs 1:14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings? Micah 3:11 The heads thereof judge for reward, and the priests thereof teach for hire, and the prophets thereof divine for money: yet will they lean upon the Lord, and say, Is not the Lord among us? none evil can come upon us. Luke 1:1 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us, Luke 7:16 And there came a fear on all: and they glorified God, saying, That a great prophet is risen up among us; and, That God hath visited his people. John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. Acts 1:21 Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Acts 15:7 And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.

One day on a cold night you will be comfy in your room. You close the door and you turn around, i was hiding behind the door with a tungsten bat. You sit on your gamer chair and put on your headphones blissfully unaware of me slowly lifting the bat over my head. In one fell swoop the inside of your head is painting half of your room. I clean the bat with a golden fleece handkerchief, i wipe the blood off the ingravings that spell "BONK" i look at the computer and i see this comment typed out but not sent:

"____________"

I look down at your body, "Horny jail aint enough for you" i say in a antihero voice "welcome to horny hell" i click send and leave.

📸 Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator.Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 16 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology., Quick Charge 30W Cargador 3.0 Cargador de Viaje Enchufe Cargador USB Carga Rápida con 3 Puertos carga rápida Adaptador de Corriente para iPhone x 8 7 Xiaomi Pocophone F1 Mix 3 A1 Samsung S10 S9 S8AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador de Pared 39W Dual Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+/ Note 8, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro / Air, HTC 10, LG G5 / G6 AUKEY Quick Charge 3.0 Cargador USB 60W 6 Puerto Cargador Móvil para Samsung Galaxy S8 / S8+ / Note 8, LG G5 / G6, Nexus 5X / 6P, HTC 10, iPhone XS / XS Max / XR, iPad Pro/ Air, Moto G4 SAMSUNG 85-inch Class Crystal UHD TU-8000 Series - 4K UHD HDR Smart TV with Alexa Built-in (UN85TU8000FXZA, 2020 Model) GE 38846 Premium Slim LED Light Bar, 18 Inch Under Cabinet Fixture, Plug-In, Convertible to Direct Wire, Linkable 628 Lumens, 3000K Soft Warm White, High/Off/Low, Easy to Install, 18 Ft Bissell Cleanview Swivel Pet Upright Bagless Vacuum Cleaner Trane20,000-Watt 1-Phase LPG/NG Liquid Cooled Whole House Standby Generator

My penis is so large I just cannot lug it around any longer. It is so insanely huge and has caused so many problems in my life. I cannot go to airports as they think I am sneaking something in. so everytime I go, I get groped as they try to take my penis off thinking its a bomb. I cannot pleasure women as they are so horrified at the sight of my cock, that they immediately run away. My mother and father disowned me after seeing the length of my shaft. Not only is it extraordinarily long, it is just too thick. I cannot sexually relieve myself as my hands are just too small to masturbate.

My humongous cock has ruined my life. I resent God for cursing me with this large chunk of meat that just drags across the ground. Doctors tell my I will never be able to get a penis reduction as they would have nowhere to put the penis. It would just take up far too much room.

I had a girlfriend when I was a young lad, she loved me for who I was and did not care for this deformity, but one day... I took off my jeans and my penis flung out, smacking her and flinging her out the window. She died 2 hours later in the hospital. She was the only woman who ever loved me. My penis is just... too ginormous. It has caused problems for myself and the people around me. For this reason, I will be ending it all. My penis has taken over my life... but it cannot take over a life that does not exist.

I want Rasputin to fuck me. That sexy wizard man making love to me while I stare directly into his piercing blue eyes. His beard tickles my face as he gives me a kiss and he then asks me to get on my hands and knees. I suck his massive cock as he touches my face and calls me a pretty little girl. He cums in my mouth and I swallow it like a good girl. Then he walks over to my ass and starts fucking my slutty little asshole. I moan like crazy and then we both orgasm. He than cums deep inside of my rectum so that when I go home, I can bring some of him back to 2022. Oh Rasputin. You sexy magic hobo with your cock in a museum. Please let me travel back in time so that you can fuck me.

Oh, it feels I credible. The closest description is having a very full bladder and going to pee is a significant relief. Ejaculation however, is far more erotic. It all begins with the desire to do something sexual, it builds from there. The slower you go, the better and more intense stimulation becomes. It eventually gets to the point where you becomes desperate to blow. The feeling is incredible… you mind goes fuzzy as you build ever closer.. you can't help but speed up and nothing else matters barring the pleasure you feel in your penis. Suddenly, it begins with orgasmic pleaure, your breathing is faster.. your heart is racing.. your brain is at sensory overload. Then, at the most intense moment, it happens.. Ejaculation. It's a huge pleasurable moment that is often accompanied by muscle spasms, moans or grunts as the first squirt occurs along with an intense sense of relief and release as tge sexual tension subsides. And as suddenly as the orgasmic process began, it's all over. You're laying there, feeling pleasantly drained with semen on your stomach or whatever you came on or in. Your penis goes limp and your mind begins to return as you lay there in a daise, remembering the moment you came.

So what the fuck is Twitter?
So basically you have this bird or some stupid shit that goes tweet, tweet, telling you HEY FUCK FACE A RANDOM ASS CELEBRITY NO ONE GIVES A FLYING TWO FUCKS ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY TRIPPED ON A PREGNANT WOMANY AND CAUSED HER TO HAVE MISCARRIAGE. Like honestly how can people be like OMG I HOPE THE CELEBRITY NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT IS OK, because who in gods name can tolerate the most stupidest shit that any person can do, think or even fucking say. And if some random asshole who got “offended” and say OMG THIS WELL KNOWN CELEBRITY SAID THE WORD “nice” AND IT REMINDED ME OF THE N-WORD, like who gives a googely one eyed fuck on what you think. well anyway thats why Twitter is fucking stupid from the perspective of an intelligent individual who went to Michigan state.

Credit to u/FaZe_smitty

so 🤔 my cat 🐱 was sitting 🪑 on my lap 😜 when all of the sudden 😱 he fucking 🤬 PISSED 🟨 all over me and my new pants. 👖 i decided 🧐 why not just drink it all off? 🍺 so i did 😁 and it tasted SO GOOD 🤤 that i had to try it again. 🥳 so i went into his litter box 📦 and just ATE all the sand. 😜 he stared 😐 all confused 😕 so i explained 🗣 what i was doing 😲 and why it tasted so yummy. 😋 he took a bite 😆 and said it was good, 😊 so now we’re here eating 🍽 some yummy 🤤 cat sand 🏖 with piss on it. 🥴 so reddit 💬 got any thoughts? 💭

a simple holiday, a one-day holiday, called "black history day". it was a day for celebrating and representing african-american culture, as a way of showing our black peers that we appreciated and valued them. but it wasn't enough.

in 1975, the black people told us that a single day was not enough to make up for all the years of racism. they came to us with a reasonable request, to extend "black history day" into a whole week. everyone agreed, and the points they presented were certainly fair. it then became "black history week".

in 1976, however, they came to us again. they repeated a lot of the points in their previous request. we had some arguments over the matter, some of us thought a week was enough, some of us thought their reasoning for another extension was not as good as before, but in the end we agreed to make "black history week" into "black history month". if only we had been more careful, maybe we wouldn't be in this situation right now...

the year was 2022, the black people decided to come to us again, only this time, they wanted to extend the month, to a year. again, we had some arguments, but in the end we decided to extend the holiday, but what we all agreed upon was that a year was way too much. so, we gave them "black history trimester". they stormed out, yelling that we were racist pieces of shit, that we were trying to erase black culture.

no more than a day later, we were being CANCELLED. twitter was, as the youths say, "absolutely malding" over our decision. in fear of what could happen to us and our image, we decided to extend it further, "black history semester". they left us alone after that...

...but, again, it wasn't enough.

year after year, they told us to extend the holiday, to the point where they started just flat out demanding it."black history semester" quickly became "black history year", then "black history biennial", then "black history decade", then century, then millenium, and so on and so forth.

eventually, what was once "black history day", became "black history". now, everyone has to speak in african american vernacular english. it is living hell. i am sending this message from the year 3068, so that people from the past can prevent this catastrophic disaster. although, my hopes are low. i am certain that if anyone brings this up, they will simply be called racist. please, do not give up. the future of humanity depends on you. godspeed, past people.

Where to fuckin begin? 8 arms. 8 dicks. Same time. Not persuaded? He also has a mouth. The guy can work 9 men at the same time. 8 20$ handjobs plus the one Guy getting a 50$ blowjob earns him 210$ in one session. But we’re not even done yet. 100$ to get butt fucked by a 10th guy, that’s 310$ in one session! Dick shaped nose goes up a guys ass, another 10$ there, actual dick goes up a guys ass, an easy 25$. And considering most men cum in under 5 minutes? He could have SO many of these orgies a day. He can basically earn as much as he wants to. Shit, he has countless suction cups on his tentacles. Put those babies on some nipples 5$ a minute? Man. Squidward my Guy, if you were smarter you could afford to move yourself way the fuck away from spongebob. Now that I think about it, you know how many holes spongebob has?? Need I say more?? Imagine squidward and spongebob teaming up, they could fuck SO. MANY. DUDES. I’m talking a million dollar gay prostitution EMPIRE. And with how absorbent spongebob is? Pshh. Talk about bukkake king. Use your fucking head squidward.

Life is empty and meaningless, we are just here to suffer in this void we call earth. Happiness is just a persona we as humans give to our selves. Sometimes i lay in bed just thinking, what is it like up there? whats it like when we eventually fade away from existence only to be wiped away from our so called "loved ones" memory? No trace of who we are or once were. Every breath made brings us closer and closer To our inevitable fate that of which is death. But what is death? Just a word I assume. Everything is going to rubble on this hell fire we call earth. The only joy I get anymore is checking the clash royal shop every night only to be let down once again. Life is empty. Life is suffering and it will never change...

Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in.

Wrong, you're brainwashed, you're just being unreasonable, ha! the irony, you're probably a 14 y.o edge lord and a 41 y.o living in your mama's basement, ever heard of Vietnam, loser? They're theives! pedophiles! lizards! communists! furries! If you believe that then you're just part of the problem

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/ > 🍆 want cock?

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🍆 < \\ have you been good?

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/ > 🍆 then you can have my cock!

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/ > 🍆 but just a suck..

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/ > 🍆 OH! KEEP SUCKING!

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/ > 🍆💦💦 OH FUCK! \*cums all over you\*

1.) draw a summoning circle

2.) put cans of beer on every point of the star

3.) put an applebees discount in the center of the star

4.) begin the ritual

5.) ???

white person demon successfully summoned.

He has a beard, so what? Basically you will start growing your facial hair when you hit something called "puberty", this normally happens around 12 years old which I don't think you have quite reached that age yet if you're posting things like this anonymously and not to his face.

I just fucked your mom

FAQ

What does this mean?

The number of times I've had sex with your mom has increased by one.

Why did you do this?

There are several reasons why I would fuck your mother. These include, but are not limited to:

- rudeness to me,

- being rude to others,

- Disagree with my opinion.

Am I getting fucked too?

No not yet. But you need to stop doing these things in the future. Otherwise I'll be forced to fuck you too, which might (certainly) make you lose your virginity.

I don't think you should have fucked my mother, can you unfuck her?


Sure, mistakes happen. But only in extremely rare circumstances will I unfuck someone's mother. If you would like to send in a defuck request, please send an email to info@eduvier.nl in which you explain what I did wrong. However, keep in mind that over 99.9% of defuck requests are rejected, and yours is probably no exception.

How can I prevent this in the future?

Accept that I fucked your mother and move on with your life. But learn from this mistake: Your behavior will not be tolerated. I will continue to fuck your mother until you correct your behavior. Remember: not getting your mother fucked is a privilege, not a right

I can not understand men who do not like the hairy female body. I, on the contrary, am magically attracted by such a wonderful body that reflects all its naturalness. In me immediately arises the desire to touch the hair and smell it. To bury my nose in the armpits and also to sink my nose in the wonderfully dense bush and suck in the scent and smell of the woman and her excitement. Miss, you are a gift for all the men who know how to appreciate and adore a natural woman abundantly covered with her body hair. Thank you for the wonderful sight you give us.

I’ve lost my husband to NFTs

It’s the only thing he wants to talk about. He looks at them all day and doesn’t acknowledge how miserable/depressed/burnt out I am as a SAHM.
To me, our marriage is boring AF but he still seems as happy as ever because of the high he gets from selling NFTs.
It’s like he’s in a cult. He doesn’t care to to go on dates or do anything fun with me anymore.

I’m pregnant with our second child and he doesn’t even care to talk about that.

I feel like I have to turn myself into an NFT in order for him to look at me.