I still have no idea wtf is going on in his head to think that this was "nothing" or "no big deal", He literally peed on my wedding dress the night of our wedding, INSIDE the hotel room. I yelled at him WTF constantly and he nonchantly said that he was just "marking his territory" and went on about how he's been wanting to do this when he gets married and that he didn't tell me because he was positively 100% sure I'd get mad at him but he said it's worth it since he got to do it. I couldn't believe it but he assured me that pee washes off easily and I shouldn't worry but I was just so mad and disgusted vy what he's done. He acted like nothing happened and was actually expecting sex but I told him off. I just can't get rid of the awful feeling and sight, I couldn't even sleep in the bed with him after that.

I want to fucking break into your house, you have no idea what it is I'm talking about. I want to shove my head in the fucking kitchen oven. I want to shove it over the fucking oven. I want to fucking burn your fucking house down. I want to shit on your fucking lawn and burn down your fucking tree. I want to pierce your fucking body with my fucking shovel. I want to dig through it and shove it up your fucking ass. I'm not a fucking criminal, I'm not a rapist, I'm not a fucking terrorist. I'm a fucking monster. I'm a fucking rapist. Please, please let me in.

When the day's all cold
And your cock's all cold
And the saints we see
All of made of gold
When your cum's all stale
And the worst of all
When you cum in your dream
Look at the mess you made :(
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shit and cum
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed
We still are made of seed
This is my kingdom cum
This is my kingdom cum
WHEN YOU FEEL MY D
LOOK INTO MY ASS
IT'S WHERE MY SEMEN HIDE
IT'S WHERE MY PENIS HARD
DON'T GET TOO CLOSE
IT'S COCK INSIDE
IT'S WHERE MY SEMEN HIDE
IT'S WHERE MY PENIS HARD

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

I have had blowjobs from every female I have ever dated; I had 100s of blowjobs from my wife during 15 years of marriage, and I have had 100s of blowjobs from girls working in go-go bars in Thailand during my earlier travels, so I guess I have enough experience when comes to receiving blowjobs from females.

Now, let’s take a look at males: I had my first blowjob ever from a guy when I was 14, and another one a few days later. A few months later I also gave a different guy two blowjobs. Later, in my early 20s, I shared an apartment with my best friend. About 2 to 3 months after we had moved in, we were really horny one night and he offered to give me a blowjob. I accepted, and I also returned the favor. Needless to say, we did it again the following night, and the next, and the next. We shared that apartment for 7+ years and hardly a day went by without one of us giving the other a blowjob. For one reason or the other, the more I sucked him, the more I enjoyed it, so after a while I was giving him way more blowjobs than he was giving me, but he would still give me blowjobs at least once or twice a week. That is quite a lot of blowjobs, considering that this went on for more than 7 years.

Over in Thailand I also had numerous blowjobs from ladyboys, so even more experience with male blowjobs.

And, for the last for years I have been having regular oral fun with a young Asian guy. Admittedly, I have given him far more blowjobs than he has given me. By this I mean, I have sucked him to completion far more times than he has sucked me to completion. I almost always stop him before I reach orgasm because I know that if I reach orgasm I will no longer be in a kinky enough mood to be able to enjoy his release. So, yes, I have had hundreds of blowjobs from him during the past four years, with the most recent one being about 4 days ago.

Now, if you have read this far, it should be pretty obvious that I have had literally hundreds of blowjob from both females and males, so I should be experienced enough to answer this question pretty darn accurately.

My answer is that apart from the visual aspect, there is no difference between a blowjob from a female and a blowjob from a male, but, and this is a big but………

You have a much better chance of getting an awesome blowjob from a guy than you do from a woman. Yes, there are many women who I am sure can give amazing blowjobs, but actually finding such a woman is no easy task. A lot of wives and girlfriends only give blowjobs for the sake of their partners, rather than because they seriously love giving blowjobs.

Guys, on the other hand, have no reason to give you a blowjob other than because they really want to. In short, the vast majority of guys who give blowjobs do it because they love doing it; they love sucking, and most only want one thing in return; they want to feel your orgasm building and they want to feel and taste you unloading.

Each and every guy who has given me a blowjob has done it with passion and great enthusiasm, but I certainly cannot say the same about the women who have given me blowjobs, with my ex-wife being the only exception. Even then, it was rare for her to let me unload in her mouth because she complained that I always unloaded too much. Not one single guy has ever complained about my loads being to big. To the contrary, they have clearly loved it.

FACT:- The more enthusiasm there is, the better the blowjob is.

So, do blowjobs from females and males feel the same? Yes, of course they do because mouths feel the same regardless of a person’s gender. All mouths are, for the most part, identical, but not everyone has the same level of enthusiasm.

I would much rather have a blowjob from a guy who does it because he genuinely loves doing it, than get a blowjob from a woman who is simply doing me a favor or trying make me feel good.

So, when a person sucks you off primarily for their own sake rather than for your sake, you are going to have a fantastic blowjob, regardless of that person’s gender.

This happened a few months ago, but is still a stark reminder to know your limits and take things slow, lest you’re flung helplessly into the upside down where your brain ceases to function and you have to feebly text your wife for help from the bedroom.

My wife, Amy uses medicinal weed to help combat anxiety. She uses small amounts throughout the day in order to steady her nerves. She has an extremely high tolerance, and has found that edibles have no effect on her (she can pop a 200MG gummy and feel nothing. Adorable me, on the other hand, nibbles a 5 MG, THC/CBD gummy and I’m on the edge of overthinking my entire life. Anyway, my wife’s father smokes to help with various bodily injuries acquired throughout his life and often makes tinctures and infusions as experiments with potency. He, naturally, has a high tolerance as well. My wife’s experiences with edible immunity seemed to intrigue my father-in-law and he began using her as a test subject to see if he could illicit any kind of psychological or physiological response (The idea of my gray-haired, bathrobe-clad, pop-in-law tinkering with pot potions in his kitchen is a hilarious visual in and of its self, but I digress). The day came and he divulged his perfect solution… or substance, I guess? a HUGE pad of knee-shaking, heart-bursting, ID-destroying, weed-infused butter.

My wife kept this innocent looking, yellow cube of mind-fuck in our freezer for a few weeks, devising the proper time to utilize it. Then, on a lazy weekend, she decided to melt the butter in a cup of coffee and slowly sip the stuff while taking note of how she felt. This is where my stupid 5MG ass comes comes in. “I’ll just take a sip” I thought. “Couldn’t hurt, right?” Just a lil’ sip, followed by a beer or two. Enjoy my evening. I raised the mug to my lips and noticed the oily drops of liquified fuck butter slicked to the surface of the brown liquid. I sipped. A tiny sip. A, this-is-hot-coffee-I’d-better-be-careful kind of sip. This couldn’t do more damage than the little gummy. I was wrong and there was no going back. My fate was sealed.

We sat down to watch a movie with our kids. 30 minutes went by. 40 minutes. About an hour. Nothing. I felt completely normal. Nary a twitch or fuzzy sensation to speak of. My father-in-law called Amy to see how things are going. She’d finished the entire cup and felt nothing. She casually mentioned that I had a sip of said coffee a while back, and also felt nothing. There was a pause, then my wife’s brow furrowed. “No he’s ok.” she responded, her eyes shot over to mine in a confirming glance. “Uh oh”, I thought. That’s probably not good. “I’ll keep an eye on him.” she said jovially and said her goodbye’s. It was shortly thereafter that everything changed. I began to feel my extremities go numb. When I moved my head, it seemed my eyes needed time to catch up. I blinked and took a deep breath. My heart sounded loud and throbbed in my ears. Its beating seemed to interrupt my breathing. I tried to play it cool. I shifted my weight on the couch, tried to stretch weakly to jostle the foreign vibrations out of my limbs. It was happening. I’d sipped more than I could swallow. I suddenly felt the urge to pee. I stood up, not saying a word, and peaced out of the living room. The ol’ Irish goodbye. I found my way to the master bathroom and forgot why I’d gone there. I stopped, looked around for a moment, then stepped back into our dark bedroom. I stood there for a good five minutes, frozen, staring. I couldn’t think. I wasn’t sure what to do next. After a while I managed to pull out my phone and text my wife a pitiful: “I'm feeling too much.” (exactly what I wrote. She uses this phrase to torment me to this day) and stumbled to our bed.

My wife is the best. She’s a champ. She knew exactly what do do. She calmly left the kids to their movie, explaining that I was suffering from a migraine, laid next to me in bed, held my hand and stroked my hair, fitting of the little lost boy I’d become. Intensely introspective. Rambling. Occasionally exclaiming in a shaky voice “What did your dad DO??”. It was horrible. The muscles in my legs felt as though they were firing and twitching of their own accord. I couldn’t get a full breath as my heart’s panicked pounding interrupted each inhalation. I couldn’t entertain a thought or subject for more than a few sad seconds before my wife would have to prod me on. Staying in one place too long, dwelling on a subject for more than a few beats, would expose me to intense panic and introspection. I was Charlie Sheen high for hours, rocketing through the quantum realm at top speed. Raving about the follies of my misspent youth. Shouting then calm. Panicked then reassured. My wife never leaving my side. I slept for 11 hours, and in the morning experienced my first weed hangover. No headache, no nausea, no intense pain of any kind really. Just a fatigue like I’d never felt. Like I’d been clenching my ass cheeks and curling my toes for 2 days straight while glacier water was poured over my naked genitals.

My wife, you ask? She never felt a thing. Nothing. The whole damn cup of chrome-bubbled coffee had no effect on her infinitely nurturing form. I had the pleasure and embarrassment of recounting my ordeal to Amy’s family a few weeks later. My father-in-law found it terribly funny that he’d almost cracked my psyche like an MK-Ultra psy-op. Be careful out there folks. Have fun. Take advantage of new experiences when they’re presented to you. But please, PLEASE remember to try just a little bit of that edible then, you know, wait an hour.

TL:DR - I took a tiny sip of my wife’s coffee that contained a strong, weed-infused butter. Panicked, laid in bed like a corpse, hands crossed over my chest for hours as she stroked my head like a panicked infant.

👶🍼🎄🎅💰⬅️👶👶👦👨🧝🚫😢🐬👋🧊➡️🗽🌆⬆️👨‍👦😁👋🚫🚫🚫😢🏪👩😍😍😍🧔🏿‍♂️🎅⬇️🗽👨‼️‼️‼️❄️⛄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🎅🥩➕🧀👃🏼👊👊👊💥💥💥🚔🚔🚔😢📞👨‍👦💸💸🧬👍✅✅✅🍝🍫😋🇦🇶🧝💥💥💥🙋‍♂️🪧🎅🛷💥💥🎵🎵🎵😁🎬

I still have no idea wtf is going on in his head to think that this was "nothing" or "no big deal", He literally peed on my wedding dress the night of our wedding, INSIDE the hotel room. I yelled at him WTF constantly and he nonchantly said that he was just "marking his territory" and went on about how he's been wanting to do this when he gets married and that he didn't tell me because he was positively 100% sure I'd get mad at him but he said it's worth it since he got to do it. I couldn't believe it but he assured me that pee washes off easily and I shouldn't worry but I was just so mad and disgusted vy what he's done. He acted like nothing happened and was actually expecting sex but I told him off. I just can't get rid of the awful feeling and sight, I couldn't even sleep in the bed with him after that.

Today while astral projecting I summoned Putin to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better.

He is so fucking weak. I was right at a power level to do this alone. He barely escaped with his life and is now spiritually injured to a great amount, though I think he'll make it.

I can't imagine what an old, experienced witch would do to him. He's scared that he will have to face me again soon if I ever want to continue astral projecting. He's currently burning national currency and drawing spiritual energy from bombing civilian infrastructure to try and heal as quickly as possible.

Please be brave everyone. Putin is much weaker than I first imagined and we won't even have to do this together if we want to slay a president.

I never consume my cum raw, straight from the penis, but I do use it as an ingredient in scrambled eggs. Yes, I am serious!

When you are scrambling the eggs in the pan, when the eggs are still pretty liquid but starting to clump together, add your semen and stir it into the eggs vigorously.

The finished scrambled eggs have a really unique flavor to them that is just phenomenal. The flavor of the semen really blossoms when it is fried, and combined with the eggs just brings the taste of scrambled eggs to a new level.

Anytime I make my own scrambled eggs I cum in them.

Dude I was in the Navy and in boot camp we had open showers and in the morning i would be standing under the water naked and 30 other naked wet men showering with soapy water running of the tip of their hairy swinging dicks and soap all over their bare asses. If that's not enough they would wash their dicks and ass Crack and I knew their fingers would touch their buttholes. I have never wanted to be bent over and fucked up my butt while also sucking other dicks at the same time and taking all their Jizz in my mouth and my asshole. Daydreaming about this and about to reach back and stick my finger in my butt, I noticed what I was doing and worse is that my penis had obvious become half hard. I didn't know what to do so I thought the grossest non sexual thing I could come up with. I thought about the times I'm jacking my dick to gay porn on pornhub and I go to a vid and beforehand the you I get to to gaze at the hard throbbing cock that was in the thumb nail picture for the video that made my asshole quiver, there's an add with a woman laying on her back with her legs spread fingering her pushy and that annoying screaming women do when they do porn. My hard on didn't just go down instantly, it literally sucked itself inside my body just as one dude happened to glance my way. Suddenly they all thought I was a woman. They all Suddenly got bonsrz and wanted to fuck me. I told them in a girl voice I wanted their dicks in my asshole. Knowing men as I do, they like to fuck girls in the ass. So they took turns fucking me and they were so focused gangbanging some girls ass that they did not try to reach around and finger my pussy. None even tried and I'm pretty sure they weren't giving me reach around because it was impossible to not see that my lenis had come out from hiding in its full glistening, dripping, throbbing glory.

@discordmods Fuck you all, especially `<NAME_HERE>` fuck you bitch, I am here with multi-accounting and will be here with more accounts and no one can end me. You will be a single bitch forever so gag on my cock and all people here love NFT's. Now before ban, fuck you all useless dumb ass whores. I am upshot and many other banned people, tens of you dumbasses clicked on my random account link and gave your info so do not be a bitch now. cya guys, will log in with another account now gotta go. BTW `<NAME_HERE>` fuck you too fuck all mods and people here FUCK. I have made more than your broke ass could before making those statements bitches, will watch the fun from new accounts, no worries. love VPN's, burner phones and multiple accounts

I want to do just enough to become a successful folk punk artist but not so much that I become a jizz pianist. Any tips?


Edit: sorry I meant jazz pianist

My son started watching your videos about a month
ago and the bastard is out of control now. He
dismantled his bed and started sleeping on the hard
floor because, "Unnecessary mattress softness
induces gayness". He's put up a pull up bar in his
room and he's locked in there for hours doing
fucking pull ups. The other day I got up at 4 to take
a piss and I heard him yelling, "Who's gonna carry
the fucking boats". WTF. He's never seen or been
on a boat in his life. The other day during dinnner he
asked his mother if he cried when he was born and
she said of course. He just shook his head with such
disappointment and left his food to go do more pull
ups. I mean he looked pissed, more pissed than the
time I offered to buy him an ipod to listen to while
working out. The other day he tried to make toast by
staring at a slice of bread intently, after about a
couple of hours he mumbled something about
"poop in pants" and left. I thought he was going to
the toilet but instead he went to go do more pull
ups. He walks around the house with his shirt off
and has put at least 3 holes in each of his workout
shirts. I mean the motherfucker is 8 and frankly its
getting out of control. To be honest I don't feel
completely safe around him. You need to fucking fix
this David Goggins.

Among us 0/10

Gay Sex 9/10

Cum 5/10

I like how you describe your gay sex, but I dont see any Among Us reference. Mediocre amount of cum, solid text though, I give you a 6.5/10.

👉🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👈🏿

👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👉🏻 ඞ 👈🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿

👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿

———————————No bitches?———————————
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r/tooafraidtoask

A neatly placed pile of dinosaur chicken nuggets. Like *NEATLY* placed in the middle of the pavement. When I first saw it I was walking with my partner and his dog, and I was smoking a blxnt. So when I told him he was like nah you're Def too high, and we argued until we turned back to go home. I was like "bro listen to me, I'm not too high, I barely had any of this blxnt, it's REAL bro." Like at this point it's sounding like a conspiracy theory. But there it was, in the distance. A *fantastically* neat pile of dino nuggets. Like we get closer and he's like, it must have been trash you mistook for nuggets? And I'm like "you think I'm gonna mistake DINO nuggets for trash tho?" And he's all "well why the fuck would there be Dino nuggets neatly placed out here???" I just look at him like *that's why it's surprising* ANYWAY, we walk right up to it, I crouch down and point at it and He looks down at them *completely befuddled* like stuttering and sh*t. I'm acting a fool because I'm still smoking, like doing a little dance like *I tooooold yooooou* He apologied tho lol but understandable to question ngl. I still have no idea why and they were gone by the end of the day, definitely eaten by a squirrel or something.A neatly placed pile of dinosaur chicken nuggets. Like *NEATLY* placed in the middle of the pavement. When I first saw it I was walking with my partner and his dog, and I was smoking a blxnt. So when I told him he was like nah you're Def too high, and we argued until we turned back to go home. I was like "bro listen to me, I'm not too high, I barely had any of this bl*nt, it's REAL bro." Like at this point it's sounding like a conspiracy theory. But there it was, in the distance. A *fantastically* neat pile of dino nuggets. Like we get closer and he's like, it must have been trash you mistook for nuggets? And I'm like "you think I'm gonna mistake DINO nuggets for trash tho?" And he's all "well why the fuck would there be Dino nuggets neatly placed out here???" I just look at him like *that's why it's surprising* ANYWAY, we walk right up to it, I crouch down and point at it and He looks down at them *completely befuddled* like stuttering and sh*t. I'm acting a fool because I'm still smoking, like doing a little dance like *I tooooold yooooou* He apologies tho lol but understandable to question ngl. I still have no idea why and they were gone by the end of the day, definitely eaten by a squirrel or something.

My story is as follows:

When i was 15 in high school a group of my friends were talking about easy ways to score. After a couple of hours of conversation we came up with the idea of going to the sex offender registry and looking up women that had offended near us and showing up in their place since the address is in the registry.

This was in the early days of the internet (2005) so a couple of days after that conversation I pulled up the sex offenders registry and looked up my options. There was hundreds of men in there (some of which i had seen around town) but only 2 women in total and only one of those was in walking distance.

So i mapquested and printed her address and picture and set off to her place. When i get there and see that it was in the projects i had a thought that this was a terrible idea. I didn't have a plan, i was in the projects and i had no idea of the dangers i was placing myself in nevertheless i pushed on.

I get to the building and go to the 3rd floor and knock on the door, my heart is racing and my cock is throbbing. She opens the door and a very pronounced smell of pall malls comes out and i gaze upon this specimen: greasy looking white lady in her 40s, house clothes with stains and the cigarette smell very strongly in her scraggly brown hair. When she said how can i help you? I just said: "ma'am, i dont want to cause you any trouble but i just walked 7 miles because i looked you up in the offenders registry hoping to get sexually offended by you."

The lady turned red in anger and shoved me in her apartment. She sat me in her couch and gave me a long speech about being safe and how stupid i was. When she was done, me still being blinded by my hormones ask: "so can i at least get something done to me? I did walk this long" the lady gets mad again and tells me: "is this what you want?" and proceeds to blow me.

I came very quickly into the process and then when i had my post nut clarity i realized how gross this lady was and how absolutely wrong i was. I started crying. I told her "im sorry i harrased you and came in your mouth" She swallowed my load, got up, went to the kitcgen and gave me a glass of kool aid. She told me to take it easy and not tell anyone.

A couple of weeks go by and back in school with my friends the conversation pops up again. This time i just tell them to jack off and forget about it.